#I’ve written an entire meta for a chapter I will not post possibly for another 6 months?? am I insane??

[a-very-fond-farewell]

>.>

[scarfacemarston]

What happened to Abigail in 1914? Spoilers for RDR 1 & RDR 2

Part of a series of Beecher Hope Metas. TW Child Death and Illness

So a lot of people have asked how Abigail died in RDR 1 and a lot of people claim it’s because of TB. Please be aware that the game DOES NOT say how she died.Headcanons are awesome and everyone is welcome to have them, but the game does not offically say whatsoever so all answeres including mine are headcanon.  I am just pointing out MY opinion as a medical historian and someone who has now studied sex work so extensively.

  TLDR: People have been saying it has to be TB because Arthur had TB.

  Arthur did not exist when rdr 1 was written so there is no way that the developer thought she caught it from Arthur because he didn’t exist at the time. Rdr 1 came out in 2010. Any instance of Abigail coughing is not in a cut scene. It is a rare event that happens when she’s sewing. Abigail could not have had latent TB for that long and lived any sort of active life,  especially how hard of a life she had. So my personal hc is that she had asthma with emphysema as a far far second option. and perhaps a broken heart which...I have my own opinions on. Asthma was easier to live with but still deadly enough to pass young. (More about TB, Arthur, the rest of the gang, Marston Baby and asthma below)

First,  although  many people could have a latent (aka dormant) version of it in their system. It’s not realistically possible that every person that came into contact with Arthur had TB. Yes, TB was and still is one of the deadliest diseases in the world but no one else in camp appears to have gotten it. I feel like Sadie, John or Charles would have been more likely to have caught it because they spent more time with him. But unless they had it latently - it woudn’t have shown up and the disease being latent for that long along is very rare.

Historically, TB outbreaks were blamed almost entirely on criminals - ironic, I know. However, sex workers were deemed as the top reason for TB cases - followed by criminals and then the xenophobic idea that outside of criminals , it was mostly immigrants. TLDR: It’s apparently quite the stereotype back then and considered very offensive. Below keep reading says why. No, I’m not calling anyone out. Just sharing something I learned.

So someone asking Abigail if she had TB would feel very weird to her. She’s not that sensitive as a person. She’s very strong, but as I’ve written in past posts and audios I’ve posted, She seems to be squeamish about her days as a sex worker which is very valid considering what her circumstances likely were. So please realize that I am NOT at all calling anyone anti-sex work or anything like that by pointing out that historically - if asked in a certain way - it could be quite offensive to Abigail to ask if she had TB. Obviously she’s not real, but I’m saying iit’s interesting that thereis a cultural and historical connection to TB and sex work even without people’s theory. Personally and perhaps this doesn’t help my point - she was coughing back in chapter 2 of rdr 2.  I do not think Abigail could have lived as long as she did if she had TB. Now granted, some may argue that her daughter could have died because of that, but TB was not usually passed through to the child 

 Don’t forget that Abigail lived a VERY hard life. Orphaned as a child, switching between orphanages, streets and brothels, being a sex worker at such a young age, to living in the elements for many years, plus working as a rancher. That is all very tough on anyone. II personally believe she had asthma which were more so flair ups rather than making everyday life so difficult, but it depended on each individual case. Even minor TB could make life almost impossible considering she’s able to ride horses like we have seen and her chapter 1-6 audio shows, and be somewhat active, it is another possibly reason why she wouldn’t have TB. I suppose someone could have the idea that Hosea made Abigail sick, but I personally think he had lung disease or something similar.

 Plus, people were ALWAYS on the look out for TB so that doctor who hired her to work at his office would have probably noticed a cough like that and they would have been able to tell the difference. TB coughs are very unique sounding as we’ve heard. Also, we don’t know how the Marston baby died. She could have died premature, stillborn, scarlet fever, influenza, typhoid, milk sickness, whooping cough, cholera  or if Abigail had asthma - it could have been passed down. There were so many childhood illnesses and infant mortality rate was high. So my personal hc is that she had asthma with emphysema as a far far second option because of what i know historically of asthma. That, or a lot of people seem to beleive she died of a  broken heart which is possible. I’d hate if that was the canon answer, but we’ve seen it before in the media. Misc thoughts below.  

MIsc TB thoughts: I want to point out that while the game does a great job in TONS of ways of depicting TB, there is zero way Arthur could have survived in such a long state that long. Willpower would PROBABLY not be enough. However, as hypocritical as it sounds, Arthur COULD have potentially been cured if he had received rest and the proper treatment if he left early enough. The doctor in St. Denis said this. I have researched TB for three years and se work two year. It wouldn’t be easy or guaranteed, but it would have been possible.

[ryuichirou]

“Please, ask me about my favorite manga...”

Okay, then. What’s your favorite manga, Ryu-san? 👀

+Anonymous said:

What’re some of your favourite manga? :)

 ----------------------------------------------

I love you guys… :”3 You always make my dreams come true haha. I hope I’m not forgetting anything, these are the ones that come to mind first:

Shingeki no Kyojin by Isayama Hajime – the most obvious thing in the world lol Of course, it’s a very dear manga to us, but even if we forget all the sentimental value it has, it’s still an amazing manga both story-wise and art-wise. For some reason Isayama is still considered a bad artist, which is a shame, because not only has he gotten much better with time, he also does the thing that I love very much: he draws whatever he wants even if he isn’t sure how to draw it. The very first chapters are so bold in that regard. And the way Isayama draws expressions is amazing: he draws faces that I’ve never seen in any other manga.

Do I even need to talk about story and characters after all the meta posts we’ve written over the past year… And the fact that we haven’t gotten tired of it despite the fact that we’ve reread it 1000 times already is very telling. There’s just so much stuff going on, so many details and elements that you can miss when you read it for the first time… rereadability is one of the greatest things about SnK.

Litchi Hikari Club (and Bokura no Hikari Club) by Furuya Usamaru  – another favourite of ours and an obsession of mine. I have volumes both in English and Russian, some Japanese magazines with chapters/mangaka’s art and artbooks… LHC is such a bleak story. It’s dark and messed-up just for the sake of being dark and messed-up, and I love it: it’s theatrical and morbid. It also manages to still be comedic and entertaining. Plus, the story behind the manga creation fascinates me (it was based on a stage play from an underground theatre ok I won’t go into details now lol), it’s like an entire phenomenon for me haha. I think this manga started my obsession with gakuran uniforms and student caps.

Uzumaki and Tomie by Ito Junji – I genuinely enjoy all of Junji Ito’s work whenever we reread them, but Uzumaki and Tomie are my faves. It’s very fun to watch how Ito-sensei takes one simple concept (spirals in “Uzumaki” and ehhh idk a beautiful but deadly girl in “Tomie”) and takes it further and further with every chapter, making it more and more creepy and grotesque. He’s extremely creative.

Berserk (Golden Age Arc) by Miura Kentarou – not to spit on everything that went before and after the Golden Age, but let’s be real: the Golden Age is special. The art of Berserk is absolutely stunning. It’s one of those mangas that belongs to museums honestly: every page is worth looking at for hours. The level of details and design of characters and the world… unreal.

The relationships between Guts and Griffith are also so beautifully written, we didn’t expect them to be this painful and deep. Talk about misunderstandings and breakups with consequences, geez. Griffith’s story build-up is just... amazing. The whole eclipse thing is wow, and the events that happen before it are as well. It’s like its own story within the whole story.

I also want to mention Maruo Suehiro, because he is another horror/guro author we like a lot, but I can’t pinpoint one manga of his that could count as a favourite just yet…

Hetalia by Himaruya Hidekaz – it’s stupid, it’s funny, it’s educational (in “it makes you interested in history and politics” way, not in the “it tells you what exactly happened” way). It doesn’t take itself seriously, it’s here to have fun and make its character as gay as possible, which I appreciate a lot. I feel like Hetalia influenced the way I draw comic strips and my humor in general. But maybe I’m just imagining it lol, it’s hard to tell at this point.

Gravitation by Murakami Maki – I’m forever obsessed with Gravi. Of course, a portion of it is just out of nostalgia, but we actually read the manga fully a couple of years ago, and god it was much better than we anticipated. It’s extremely stupid and fun (how many BL mangas have tom and jerry style slapstick comedy??), but at the same time sometimes the jokes are surprisingly clever. Nothing is too serious though, every character is a clown to some extent, and this is exactly why all of them are so fun to watch. The relationships are also… surprisingly well-written in my opinion.

It’s an old school BL, but I still think it’s a bit different from other BL mangas from 90s-early 00s… Also the fact that Murakami-sensei draws smutty doujins of her own manga under a different pseudonym is still the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard; I’ll forever respect her for that.

And ofc Yuki Eiri is a bottom for us, like... duh.

Otome no Teikoku by Kishi Torajirou – it just makes me a bit happier when I don’t want to think and just want to look at girls having crushes on each other. I usually hate yuri manga with school setting, but this one slaps me in the face with how good the cast is and how unusual some of the themes in it are for a yuri manga. I feel like the author actually wants his characters to be interesting and not just gushes over how pure and innocent they look when they hold hands, and it makes a huge difference.

[metellastella]

ATLA Meta: Power Differences

So, there’s a TV Trope that at first I thought might fit with ATLA. ‘Conservation of Ninjitsu.’ It is where, no matter how many guys a person is fighting, they always come out on top. In any world, realistic or fantasy, with no superpowers, this is obviously unrealistic. Samurai and martial artists of the past could excel, sure, but if they were going up against another army, they had to have the numbers. This trope is called ‘Old as Dirt’ because even in Roman mythology it’s mentioned that one warrior ceasing to fight within a battle turned the whole tide. In media this narrative device tends to play out as the ‘hero’ or hero’s team being able to keep up with multiple nameless mooks, no matter how well trained in martial arts they are.

Think, Ninja Turtles versus hordes of Foot Clan.

ATLA is an interesting twist to this, because you’d expect benders to at the very least knock out lots of nonbenders. Those with powers should overwhelm those without, right? And yet, we see the second highest ranking person in the Fire Nation choose nonbenders as her primary fellow combatants! I’ve given a plausible explanation for this with Ty Lee.

In my fic, she has unique senses that allow her to excel past even most benders in hand-to-hand combat. She can track the movement of their gathering chi, and therefore predict what their resultant move will be. And she can also sense chi pathways, so she strikes with a sure hand. For Mai, I haven’t come up with anything specific. But, I encourage you to note, against benders, the necessity of taking up a ranged weapon like throwing stars and knives, as opposed to a close to the body sword or anything like that. Whether Suki was unusually skilled, or over-confident, or thought she had the numbers, or merely desperate in challenging Azula with a katana, that is up to the viewer’s opinion.

In my fic, I also explain how a nonbender might fight or defeat or disable (or kill) a bender, and extrapolate on how firebenders in particular MUST use non-bender techniques if they are to be truly effective in combat.

Did Suki ally herself with benders in other situations? Was Kyoshi wiped of benders like the South Pole? But their leader said that they stayed out of the war. Surely the original KW were benders? Why are there no adult Kyoshi Warriors?

Anyway, I’ve always liked ATLA because the ‘superpowers’ were subtle, and not truly ‘superhuman.’ It not only made the characters somehow more relatable, it blended with the world better and the stakes felt higher when they couldn’t just keep taking hit after hit like your typical superhero. Katara got knocked out in the North Pole, for instance.

So, this all still begs the question, given the scene where Zuko rescued Iroh from earthbenders, are there vast power differences between benders? Are the ‘heroes’ merely good at fighting because of that narrative device I mentioned earlier, or is their ability to fight off many foes at once canonically based? We have some clues to this, as Aang got his master tattoos earlier than any other airbender. It’s even explained by the fact that he’s the Avatar. So it’s not just typical Mary Sue OP, it at the very least has an in-world basis.

Azula and Zuko are powerful because Ozai deliberately sought out the Avatar’s bloodline, according to the comics. Which makes total sense for him to do. I don’t give a lot of credence to the comics because of the way it clashes with what the creators originally planned for the Ursa-Ozai relationship, but the reversal of royalty looking to “marry into” a family because of bloodline is interesting and really points up the sheer importance and power of this world’s Avatar.

Toph is OP because she is blind, and that has given her a unique connection to the earth. Katara is the only one without an explanation or justification.

If you don’t count Iroh, which I don’t. He is just OP. No explanation needed. Ok, so, I could spin a yarn about how the current dynasty of the Fire Nation retained their rulership because they are the strongest firebenders in existence. But that would only have tenuous basis in canon.

Just remember that the dude, practically in the nude, put a beat down on earthbenders that had shields for firebending (a very inventive use for those hard coolie-style hats). And that was when he wasn’t in shape like in the finale, or in this fic.

He also, in canon, as has been covered with Sokka in my fic, bested Azula’s hand picked team of men early in Season 2.

(These chapters I discuss here have not been posted to my fic yet, but they have been written. It's just getting the in-between scenes written that still needs doing.)

The idea with powerful benders accruing wealth or power might partially explain Toph. We don’t know if her parents are benders or not- maybe in current cultural mores they genuinely think bending and fighting are low class. But the idea that’s where her strength comes from back in family history would not be as fun as canonical blindness powering her up.

So, just how powerful is Toph?

She resisted Wan Shi Tong’s entire fricking several story stone library sinking.

When being pursued in The Chase, she made a wall that appeared to extend possibly a hundred feet in each direction. So thick, Azula had to resort to lightning just to break through it. I’m pretty surprised that, with only two nonbenders at her side, Azula even decided to keep pursuing THE AVATAR in that tank, going up against him AND power like that.

Speaking of Azula’s motivations. I’m going to freely admit here that this is an interpretation that is probably far away from what the writers were going for in canon, for Azula’s actions. But, I am attempting to look at it in a realistic lens, which is what I’ve aimed to do for everything possible in that fic.

For example, Azula’s refusing the hostage trade between Mai’s kid brother Tom Tom and King Bumi, I’m sure, was SUPPOSED to come off as conniving, cruel, and heartless, by the writers.

The implication was probably supposed to be here, that she would ‘rescue’ her friend’s ‘baby brother’ IF she were a ‘good person.’

However.

Bumi is an incredibly skilled martial artist who has most likely violently defended Omashu from the Fire Nation for an entire one hundred years. He therefore by default, by view of any even casual outside observer, is either powerful, or smart, or both. Azula would know this in detail, studying the war growing up.

He would be one of these OP benders. Like, REALLY OP.

The idea that a leader of her country should free such a dangerous enemy man posing a threat to her people in exchange for a toddler, is utterly ludicrous.

Now, maybe the writers intended the viewer to logic that out. But I doubt it.

Therefore, drawing kidnappers out of hiding to have a shot at rescuing him would be using her smarts in service to Mai and her family.

[ginmo]

How do you think the Bran and Jaime’s meeting will go in the books? I’ve read theories guessing he might end up as King Bran’s Hand, meta where the writers want him to become a mentor or father figure to the Starks in a full circle of his redemption arc, while others don’t want or think he should be involved with the Starks long-term either because of his and his family’s sins against the Starks or because they view his arc as reclamation rather than redemption or atonement. 1/2

This is what GRRM said about Bran and exploring time. 

“It's an obscenity to go into somebody's mind. So Bran may be responsible for Hodor's simplicity, due to going into his mind so powerfully that it rippled back through time. The explanation of Bran's powers, the whole questions of time and causality - can we affect the past? Is time a river you can only sail one way or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop into it? These are issues I want to explore in the book, but it's harder to explain in a show.” - Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon

Hodor’s name reveal is neat and all, but Bran’s power to manipulate the past doesn't exist just so we can randomly learn Hodor’s pointless name origin. That would be ridiculous unless the scene was used to introduce that ability. Hodor’s name reveal is important to the narrative, and I believe its purpose is to set up a much bigger event/reveal involved around Bran interfering with the past, not just observing it. I’m pretty sure GRRM was hint-hinting to D&D about this, which is why he told them about the random ass Hodor scene that was already written, thinking it would be obvious what that means for the overall plot and letting them run with it but………………..

Because of this, I think it’s possible Bran brought himself to where he is. 

IF Bran isn’t involved in The Push, then he could have been involved with Jaime killing the Mad King. I kinda like the idea of Bran playing into Aerys’ madness, causing him to stock up on wildfire around the city, because then the wildfire would be an essential future plot element for a bigger purpose towards the end of the series and it would be a question of time, “a river you can only sail one way, or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop it,” but for the entire series. (And, as someone with a passion in astrophysics, I’m a sucker for discussions around time. BUTTHAT’SJUSTME) 

Do I totally subscribe to this theory? Eh. I’m still not convinced Bran is King of All of Westeros for reasons, but I’m open-minded. I DO think Jaime is surviving the series, for reasonsssss, so I’m putting that disclaimer out there right now. I will never claim with absolute confidence that he is surviving though because, I mean, nobody fucking knows, and there’s an argument for death. I’m just going off of narrative clues that I perceive to be clues, and taking other character arcs into consideration. After literally drawing up a table because I’m weird, the column for Survive has more evidence and justification than the column for Dies, so that’s why I lean the way I lean. SO with that being said, I think it’s possible he has more of a political future.

IF this is what GRRM is writing, Jaime would still be responsible for pushing him, of course, but future Bran would want to be pushed. He'd be setting everything in motion to create the butterfly effect that makes it happen. 

Even if that isn’t what GRRM had intended with exploring time, it’s highly likely Bran’s character development is taking him down a path of apathy over it, meaning he wouldn’t be needing Jaime to do something for the purpose of redemption for him. 

Speaking of Redemption…

-deep breath-

I’m going to go off on this a bit because it IS relevant, I swear. 

“Limits of redemption” is probably the biggest wtf interpretation fandom has when it comes to what GRRM actually said. I’ll try not to go off on it too much here but -

Interviewer: Both Jaime and Cersei are clearly despicable in those moments. Later, though, we see a more humane side of Jaime when he rescues a woman, who had been an enemy, from rape. All of a sudden we don’t know what to feel about Jaime.

GRRM: One of the things I wanted to explore with Jaime, and with so many of the characters, is the whole issue of redemption. When can we be redeemed? Is redemption even possible? I don’t have an answer. But when do we forgive people? [...]  I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there is no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then?  [x]

I bolded “we” from the interviewer, because it gives context to GRRM’s answer with “we” being the readers, not the characters or Jaime himself. (I think there’s another interview where he says “limits of redemption” but it’s in the same context. I could be wrong but I SWEAR I heard it. Anyway…) 

“I kind of tried to ask, ‘do you think he’s changed?’ to get him to talk about Jaime’s redemption arc, so he said something like he wanted to explore the concept of forgiveness and whether it’s possible to be forgiven for doing such horrible things, and that his goal was to ask the question, not give an answer.” [x]

Fandom thinks this is the characters giving Jaime forgiveness, and maybe there will be a small element of that in the books, but the question is for the readers. No, Jaime is not actively seeking redemption from people. His redemption is for himself, through living his best life, by rediscovering the person he used to be. Yes He Will Be Redeemed and No He Will Fail assume redemption is some arbitrary checklist determined by One Big Act, and they’re answers to a question GRRM doesn’t want to give an answer to. 

The purpose of Jaime’s POVs is to ask the readers, and the most obvious moment of this was the bath scene. GRRM smacks us over the head with the Aerys confession, and then as we’re introduced to more and more of his POV chapters, he slowly chips away at the Jaime illusion that was intentionally established the moment he pushed one of the perceived child protagonists out of a window. It’s brilliant, and I’m sorry GRRM that a large chunk of your fandom is too dense to get it. How frustrating lol. I’ll be insulted for him. (I’m legit wondering if his recent angsty tweets about grey and redemption about real life stem from a concern that his fandom won’t understand the point of the series.) 

To give you an idea of where these people are coming from, at least one BNF idiot on Twitter believes redemption hasn’t been explored with Jaime yet. 

But uh… 

GRRM mentioned his intent is to “explore redemption” after delivering Jaime POVs, because... it’s... not a spoiler… he’s already exploring redemption, because the question is being asked TO US. We were supposed to have an “oh shit” moment, realizing this is more complex than the surface level, biased perspective we were delivered at the beginning of the story. “Maybe Westeros and my protagonist have it wrong.” -cough- the people in the village in BatB -cough- 

No matter how much fandom likes to pretend they love GRRM for pushing the boundaries of fantasy, they secretly fucking hate it. They love to be comfortable, dude. That’s why they read this series as if it’s a clear cut Good vs. Evil, because a) ego and b) that’s easy. If GRRM was writing Jaime as doing everything with ill intent then…. his… question isn’t being asked. They think everything he does right now is selfish and Bad, so they’re waiting. They want it spoon fed to them. They want classic fantasy. They want Starks = Good, Lannisters = Bad. 

But… if the author sees Jaime’s actions as grey and complex, enough to ask the question to the readers if he’s redeemed in their eyes or not, then he’s not going to write an endgame that punishes the character for narrative payoff, because he doesn’t see his actions as “sins” or “crimes” in the same way that these people are. Once upon a time, a person on tumblr reblogged one of my posts and said that Jaime will rape Cersei before he kills himself and that will be his endgame. But GRRM doesn’t view Jaime as a rapist, so he’s not going to write Jaime as a rapist. I’m bringing that up, because it’s the same phenomenon. People can ignore authorial intent all they want, but NOT when it comes to predicting narrative trajectory. The general fandom is terrible at that lol. 

The exploration of redemption for Jaime comes in the form of confronting his disillusioned self and everything attached to it. Before someone thinks, “lolllll he isn’t disillusioned” 

 “he actually was a very idealistic young man who was disillusioned by life” [x]

Jaime’s redemption is the path of returning to that idealistic man for himself. It’s by feeling ashamed of the things he’s done to hide his love for Cersei. It’s by gaining independence and detaching from the toxic relationship that caused a mess outside of them. It’s by wanting to be like the knights he admired in his youth, and like the woman warrior that inspired him. 

So when I think about narrative payoff for Jaime, I don’t see it framed as him being “punished” for actions viewed as “crimes,” when GRRM clearly established those “crimes” as complicated and grey with a character already going through some positive development, and especially when the characters judging are written to be flawed as well.

On the other side, having him be “punished” by succumbing to hatred and anger is for sure giving an answer (this just… -sits on hands- don’t even get me started on THIS fucking hot take). That answer would be a clear, solid, “No, no matter how hard he tries to turn his life around, he can’t be redeemed, because he’s a hateful, angry, fucked up person.” I’ve legit seen people think “limits of redemption” is a boundary of redemption drawn in the sand that Jaime is walking towards but he won’t be able to cross it. I-......................... 

And what’s even the point of his handchop if scenario number 2 happens?  

“And Jaime, losing a hand, losing the very thing he defined himself on is crucial to where I think I want to go with the character. And he questions what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost that.” - GRRM [x]

(I’m going to put this quote in every post sorry not sorry) 

So he’s going to take Jaime on this big identity journey just for him to be like “lol nah he isn’t that” …?? That makes the loss of his hand meaningless, not “crucial.” Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand if he’s bringing him back to the beginning? Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand to make himself realize he’s hateful and a failure and murder Cersei and then himself? No. He could have still met Brienne and been inspired by her knightly ways, attempted to live a better life, found out about Cersei’s affairs, etc. He doesn’t need to lose his hand to reach a point of fucking murder/suicide lmao fuck (not saying he’ll do that but I KNOW people are thinking it). 

The loss of his hand is “crucial,” because GRRM has bigger endgame plans for him in the form of politics, and the journey to believably get there requires the forced loss of his warrior identity and everything that the hand symbolized. 

AS FOR THE ACTUAL HAND THEORY...

Even though I’m undecided on it, I CAN see it IF Bran is King. I get it. Jaime’s missing his right Hand, he becomes the Hand to the kid he pushed out the window. Hardy har har. I understand how that would be pleasing.

And we all know GRRM said something about how the best ones for power are the ones who don’t want it…  

And… this suspicious scene at the very beginning of the series… 

“You should be the Hand.” 

“Gods forbid,” a man’s voice replied lazily. “It’s not an honor I’d want. There’s far too much work involved.” 

Bran hung, listening, suddenly afraid to go on. -AGOT

BUT IF that happens, it wouldn’t be there as some sort of #atonement #forredemption. It would be there because of Jaime’s growth as a character after developing into a political player, after asking himself, “what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost [the swordhand]?” He’s no longer the warrior he once was. He dislikes any sort of political position, because he feels most alive with a sword in his hand. But that was Warrior Jaime, and the point of “what do you make of yourself after you’ve lost that” is Jaime going down a different path after discovering that Warrior Jaime has died. I mean, he’d never be actively seeking power and thinking it’s the best career ever, like he’d probably be all -sighhhhhhh- about it, but he’d be doing the responsible thing and what’s necessary. He’d make himself useful in a new way. 

“The Warrior had been Jaime’s god since he was old enough to hold a sword. Other men might be fathers, sons, husbands, but never Jaime Lannister, whose sword was as golden as his hair. He was a warrior, and that was all he would ever be.” - AFFC (Do I really need to make a post about how GRRM foreshadows? Mr. Bran: “I never fall”...?)

Jaime losing his hand was the narrative consequence for The Push, making all of his development post handchop -ALL OF HIS POVS- the redemption theme. It was the hand that pushed Bran, fucked his twin, killed his king, swung the sword against fandom’s Precious Protagonists… 

“You ought to be pleased. I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.” - AFFC

So if Jaime becomes his Hand, it would be the two characters meeting in the middle, not Jaime groveling at his feet, begging for forgiveness, framed as a punishment for sins - “sins” that fandom views as “sins” that need narrative payoff, because they don’t understand intent. 

[thevictorianghost]

A look back at 2020 - and a thank you to the Zutara fandom

Okay.

So.

I’ve never done this before. I know 2020 has been… a year. To say the least. A messy, sad, hell of a year. I’m not saying my 2020 was perfect. There were many events that were supposed to happen but got cancelled because of COVID. But if you could believe it, 2019 was so much worse for me, especially creative-wise. So I decided to make this post about how my 2020 went, because it went a lot better than 2019!

Never again, 2019. Never again.

Also if you feel like you haven’t been creative or haven’t had the energy to do everything you wanted to do, please don’t take this post as a “haha I did so much better than you guys!” Because that is ABSOLUTELY NOT what I want to achieve. I just want to give myself a pat on the back. Honestly, I think what really helped this year was when I got into a slump for one type of creative endeavour, I jumped to the next. I set myself to start something and finished it. Then, if I felt burnt out about that thing? Like writing a fic? I got into cosplay. Or video editing. Or something else. And then I came back to writing. It was really fun to learn new things and to do multiple kinds of projects through the year!

The Zutara fandom thank you letter is at the end, so if you want to skip my ramblings, you can find the title below! 

So anyway. Here goes!

Video editing:

It’s not that well-known on my Tumblr, but I have a Youtube channel! I made myself a video editing challenge back in January - and I crushed it! Back in 2019, I quit video editing for many months because I didn’t have the motivation to continue doing so. But then in December last year, I found a BUNCH of my old (and I mean, VERY old) videos I’d made as a kid. And it re-invigorated my love for video editing because I realized how far I’d come and that I wanted to do it more! So I told myself: one video a month. Twelve in one year. That’s it. Do that. And I ended up making TWENTY videos this year! I’m so proud of myself!

I even made MORE than twenty videos. A few of these just aren’t published. I made a few more “educational” videos because I’m considering making a brand new Youtube channel dedicated to History and pop culture! I don’t know if it’ll end up being… you know… a thing, but hey! Why not?

I also made some unpublished short edits for a possible Instagram account I’d like to create, too! All for Titanic. An example of those short videos can be found here! Again, I don’t know if that Instagram account will end up being… a thing… but I have faith!

Cosplay:

I got back into cosplay this year! And I learned new skills thanks to it! I learned how to work with EVA foam to create my own Blue Spirit mask (using this tutorial!). There’s a few projects currently on the backburner, but I’m sure I’ll come back to them eventually!

I also learned recently how to sew a pair of opera gloves (because haha, fuck you if you want to buy any that aren’t in size small!) for a Rose Dewitt-Bukater cosplay with my sewing machine I bought way back in like… March… but was honestly too afraid to use. But I did it! I pushed through my fear and I did it! I’ve been practicing more and more with my sewing machine as I repurpose old clothes for my cosplay. And it’s going great!

Writing:

I got back into fanfic! I hadn’t written ANYTHING fanfic related in a while, especially not multi-chapter fics. But this year, I finished THREE novel-length fanfictions. My fanfics The Prince’s Bride, my Star Wars/The Princess Bride AU, and Never Let Me Go, my Avatar: The Last Airbender/Titanic AU, are currently all published on AO3! I haven’t been much in the Star Wars fandom since writing The Prince’s Bride, but I did meet @stressedinadress with who I talk about Star Wars and anything in particular! Thank you for being my friend!

My other novel-length fic, All roads lead to Paris, a Miraculous Ladybug/A Monster in Paris/Ratatouille crossover fic is currently being uploaded every Wednesdays! I’ve also written a Titanic/The Great Gatsby crossover one-shot called Make it count; Meet me at the clock that had been living in my brain for years but I’d never had the guts to write it. But then I did!

I’m especially proud of Never Let Me Go. Not that I’m not proud of my other fics, but this one in particular has a very special place in my heart. It’s the longest story I’ve EVER written and made me love Titanic all over again. Zuko and Katara were the perfect characters to be cast as Jack and Rose. I got back into drawing entirely thanks to this fic. I’d been telling myself “I can’t draw to save my life” for YEARS but then I decided to try again and I’m much better than I was back then! I’m so humbled by all the comments, all the bookmarks, the kudos and the love this story has received. We’ve JUST REACHED 5000 HITS!! Before the end of the year!! That’s so AWESOME!!

I’m tentatively coming back to original fiction after writing a lot of fanfic, especially a Greek Mythology retelling (which is, you know, fanfiction but with stories that don’t have copyrights!). I think writing fanfiction really helped me figure out what I love about writing and has helped me tremendously in creating my own style and voice. It’s been an incredible journey and yes, my Greek Mythology retelling was inspired by a Zutara Greek Mythology AU! So you know, I’m staying on-brand! haha

I’m also currently working on another ATLA fic, heavily inspired by my “what I would have wanted for LOK” post you can find here. It’s going to be much, MUCH shorter than Never Let Me Go, but it’s already longer than Not Like Everyone Else, so I’m really happy with this one. A bunch of bite-sized chapters in the POVs of all these lovely characters after the War and my take on where they should have ended up - and the world.

Zutara:

And finally, but certainly not the least, I got back into the Zutara fandom and really contributed! I made metas I’m really proud of (like this one on Katara’s abandonment issues you can find here!). I wrote the aforementioned fanfic Never Let Me Go. I even made a video about Zutara after my latest rewatch of ATLA (you can watch ZUTARA | Zuko x Katara - BATTLESHIPS here!).

I also made friends along the way! @darkcrowprincess​, @harharj​, @angelsabloom​ and, more recently, @heavensweetheart​. I wanted to thank you for putting up with my weird rants and obsessions! :)

We’re all such a lovely bunch and don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere! I want to thank, especially, @firelxdykatara​, @antarcticasx​, @my-bated-breath​, @peartarts​,  @pineapple-frenzy​ and @hayleynfoster​ for your metas, fics, art, etc.!  You’ve been making my 2020 better. This isn’t an exhaustive list, so if I’ve forgotten someone, I’m so sorry! 

Also I hope everyone who have been harassed recently, like @babytreehugger​, knows that we’re all standing behind you and supporting you.

This is a really special fandom indeed. It took me years before I could rewatch ATLA knowing Zutara wasn’t endgame, but even if it hurts that they’re not canon, we have countless fics, art, poems, animatics, even published authors whose books are basically Zutara AUs! As stated by those same authors! Isn’t that amazing?? WE HAVE A STAR!! WE HAVE A FRICKING STAR!!! Has anyone forgotten that??

And look. I’ve been, for the past few years, in the Star Wars fandom. I’ve been in many different fandoms over the years. It’s been… rough. But I’ve never seen such an encouraging, loving, compassionate fandom. I know it can be difficult outside of our fandom, especially with people fighting on Twitter and Instagram and even on Tumblr with people harassing others. But this fandom, fifteen years later, is so smart, so kind, so positive and so inspiring. 

If you’ve been reading up ‘till now, thank you! 

Also: You can do whatever you set your mind to! I believe in you! Go do the thing if you want to! And never forget to be kind to yourself. 

Happy holidays! Let’s hope (fingers crossed!) that 2021 will be a better year. 

thevictorianghost

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 2 – Look up here, I’m in Heaven: the height metaphor

[The chapter title comes from David Bowie’s Lazarus. Lazarus is a cracking song, and you should listen to it. X CN: death, disturbing imagery]

It’s worth stating here that this whole meta has a cn for death and suicide – this one is analysing the literal peaks and troughs (height is important in this episode) that Sherlock goes through in order to look at how close he is to dying throughout.

In my reading, EMP theory begins once Mary shoots Sherlock in HLV – I’ve linked the reasons for this in Chapter 1 X, so I’m not going to run through them again here. I think Sherlock comes the closest to death that we see him in the EMP at the end of HLV – if you remember, he’s been put on a plane in ‘exile’ by Mycroft, but in reality is being sent to his death. This plane/height image is really important. In the Christian tradition (and therefore majority Western tradition that the writers are writing in), the sky is associated with heaven – Sherlock’s plane taking off being synonymous with his death seems a pretty straightforward metaphor in that regard. (It’s even one that’s used in Cats, though I don’t know if that’s a good thing.) Further to that – it ties in nicely with Sherlock being ‘high’ through a lot of s4, which represents the moments in which he is most repressed and his repression is most tied to self-harm. We have further ideas to buttress the height/aeroplane metaphor with, however – do you remember the plane in ASiB?

Sure, as I recall it never gets off the ground. But everybody on it is dead. Aeroplanes have an association with death already in this show, and the choice to put Sherlock on a plane rather than lock him up for four minutes or anything equivalent – and probably less expensive to shoot – suggests a deliberate throwback. We’re supposed to think of it as a kind of metal coffin.

[Obviously, there’s another, more notable use of an aeroplane in the programme – you can see where I’m going here. But bear with me – there’s more first.]

I want to quickly talk about what grounds Sherlock’s aeroplane. Moriarty appears on screens everywhere, and then we have the following exchange between Sherlock and Mycroft. I’ve already made a post about this that’s done the rounds on tumblr X, so if you already know this bit you’re ahead of the game.

As far as I can tell, nobody ever tells Sherlock that Moriarty is back. It’s possible Mycroft tells him offscreen, or that he googles it from his phone, given that he’s already breaking flight rules, but given that it’s the entire trigger for TAB, it seems a pretty odd thing to leave out. In EMP theory, it’s also the thing that downs his plane – in terms of the plane metaphor as well as literally, it stops him from dying. It’s pivotal, but we don’t see it. I therefore want to hypothesise – what does it mean if Sherlock is never told that Moriarty is back?

The first thing it tells us is that Sherlock is in his Mind Palace, because he knows that Moriarty is back without needing to be told. But the second is that Mycroft, the brain, is waking Sherlock from his dying stupor to tell him that England needs him, meaning that Sherlock’s brain equates Moriarty coming back with the word ‘England’ in some way. Perhaps this is a tenuous link, but the seed is planted back from ASiP, when we’re taught to associate John with his armchair.

Don’t mind me, I’m just crying. Basically, Sherlock knows that John is in danger and that’s what pulls him back from the brink – and we know it’s serious, because Mycroft, the brain, is warning him. Via call.

The fear of Moriarty coming back might sound like a tenuous symbol for John being in danger, but when we probe deeper the two are actually quite obviously equivalent. The only threat that Moriarty has ever posed to Sherlock is a threat to John’s life – the Semtex, burning the heart out of him, John Watson is definitely in danger, the sniper at the fall. This is Sherlock’s pressure point, and by getting rid of Moriarty, he’s getting rid of any danger to John – we know from his drug abuse etc. that his regard for himself is much lower. So Sherlock being woken from the dead to save John makes complete sense. He died for him, and now he’ll resurrect himself for him.

There are several layers to how John is in danger – the bottom one, which for me s4 is about getting to the heart of, is that without Sherlock John is suicidal. This was established in ASiP, and I believe is the metaphorical plot of TLD (see Chapter 9 X). However, there’s also the problem of Mary, newly discovered as an assassin, and Sherlock trying to work out who she is and where she comes from – more on that later, but there’s certainly a chance she’s linked to Moriarty, given the Morstan/Moran connections. ‘Did you miss me?’ works for both of those layers – the danger John is in from criminals is something that was really apparent in s1 and 2, but John’s endangerment from suicide is also something that was there at the beginning of the series. Sherlock changed these things – and didn’t realise he was the changing factor, but something in his subconscious is telling him that with him gone, John Watson is once again in danger.

So, his plane comes back to the runway – still in his mind palace, of course, but coming down. TAB – of which more on later – seems to be about the return of Moriarty, and Sherlock puzzling through it, which is jarringly absent from TST and TLD if you’re reading it on a surface level – it takes TAB for Sherlock to puzzle through this and to pull him down from death, as he comes to understand the Moriarty threat. This all sounds pretty vague – the TAB chapter will deal with it in more detail. For now, let’s move on to the other places where the height/heaven metaphor comes into s4.

One thing that several meta-writers have pointed out is that Ella’s office is… fucky. It’s not the same office as John repeatedly visits outside the MP – it’s possible that Ella has moved premises, but it’s a weird thing to draw such obvious attention to by the weirdness of the room. This isn’t a subtle change, like John and Mary’s place, it’s a really dissonant one, and the oddness of the room pulls our attention towards a character and space that by rights belong in the background of the story. It’s a really odd move – and that’s why I’m so convinced that it’s important.  

It looks like Heaven, for want of a better description. The window with the light streaming through looks like the very top of a church window, and the beams suggest that the ceiling is like a kind of spire – and the spire in a church is meant to be closer to heaven, that’s part of the imagery. So there’s that side of things, and I really don’t think that’s a coincidence. However, the even weirder part is the partitioning of the room, for want of a better word. The wall ends at about chair height, and from there to the floor is – nothing? These aren’t mirrors because the chairs aren’t reflected. I have never seen a room partitioned like this, and nor has anyone I’ve shown the image to – again, it draws attention to itself. If the creative team had wanted us to take this scene at face value, they would have put Ella in an office. This is not a psychiatrist’s office. The partitions mean that it isn’t even private.

I don’t know if I’m right about the partitions, but there’s only one thing they remind me of, and that’s a closing door. It’s a trope in an adventure film – I first saw it in Indiana Jones, but it’s in many a movie. It also features in Doctor Who on multiple occasions.

It’s the moment when the door is coming down and you only have a few seconds to get under it, otherwise you die. Indiana Jones famously goes back for his hat. That one. That’s what the space under the partition looks like. Sherlock, thinking he’s solved the case of Norbury and therefore Mary (more in Chapter 7 X) is ready to pop off – he’s nearly gone. But in a moment of self-interrogation – making sure he got everything right, that John’s safe now – he realises he isn’t, and so he comes down. That sinking downwards is represented by the water imagery, as he sinks deep into his subconscious – LSiT has written a fantastic meta on water in S4 which you can read here X, as I’m loath to take credit for this idea!

I’m going to talk about water a lot more in the chapters on TFP, because of John in the well and pirates and so much, but the obvious thing to talk about now is the plane in TFP.

This is a point where surface level plot breaks down – because this cannot be in Eurus’s mind. When we watch film/tv, we make one of two assumptions – either we have the omnipotent view, like in most films, where we’re guided by the director but everything we see is ultimately objectively true, or we see through somebody else’s eyes (rarer). These can be played with – think of a film like The Usual Suspects (please skip to the next paragraph if you haven’t seen this film because it’s fantastic) where the film lets the viewer rest on their laurels and slip into normal, objective viewing patterns when of course it’s a subjective, flashback narrative, which Kevin Spacey is deliberately obscuring to trick an audience. This rug pull can be fantastic, but we don’t have such a rug pull here. Either it’s a poor man’s version, or there’s something else going on. Mug drop.

New paragraph – spoilers gone. Moments where the perspective was actually subjective and we missed it or forgot it are great rug pulls, because the clues are there but we don’t spot them. We love a good unreliable narrator. This isn’t the case here. The plane scene, as visualised, exists only inside Eurus’s head. Eurus is emphatically not our narrator during TFP, so when it comes out that the girl on the plane isn’t real, we just feel lied to.

If we accept that s4 takes place inside Sherlock’s MP, this makes more sense, because all of the characters are manifestations of different parts of Sherlock’s psyche and so he can jump between perspectives. It also means that the terror of being on a crashing plane that Eurus has felt ever since she was a child is not hers – it’s Sherlock’s. If we remember that planes are synonymous with dying in this show, an association that’s reinforced because of the “sleeping” people on the plane, a clear throwback to the dead passengers in ASiB, the climax of S4, when Sherlock is trying to save John and work out his repressed memories, is all fuelled by a child’s nightmare of dying, a terror that has resurfaced.

I think Eurus represents Sherlock’s queer trauma, and I’ll explain that in more detail in Chapter 5 X, which is completely devoted to Eurus. Her representing trauma, though, makes a great deal of sense in this situation. The problem of the plane, the threat that she hinges on, is one that has been repeating and repeating, though repressed, inside Sherlock’s consciousness, and he breaks through it with not only kindness, but the recognition that it is all in Eurus’s (and by extension his) head.

This doesn’t diminish the trauma that Sherlock experiences – one of the things I begrudgingly like about the ending of TFP. Sherlock can’t get rid of the problem and possible danger that is his trauma – but he can stop it from careering to the point of destruction by recognising it, he can learn to live in harmony (see the violin duet) with it, he can accept its existence.  Pushing through that trauma is what makes him able to abandon the plane and (we hope) return to the real world.

The positioning of the aeroplane problem in relation to the John-trapped-in-a-well problem is also pretty important. I’m of the firm belief that Eurus represents queer trauma, and this is the trauma that throughout the entirety of series 4 is both pushing him towards John and blocking him from him. Sherlock needs to wake up to save John, and has to push through the trauma to recognise this – but the trauma is blocking his way. She’s stopping him from helping John – it’s a terrible moment when Sherlock is telling John that he’s busy whilst John is drowning in the well – but it’s also pushing through the aeroplane moment that allows him to save John in the MP. This is the paradox of queer repression, right, and the paradox in Eurus’s behaviour – she’s simultaneously blocking Sherlock and leading him on to the solution.

When Sherlock finally reaches Eurus’s room, he tells her that he’s on the ground and he can bring her down too – and what is most striking is the way Eurus is sitting. She’s actually incredibly grounded, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and given that the house is burned it’s likely that this is the ground floor as well. The dark room is a far cry from the bright lighting of the plane – everything suggests that she’s been pulled back. And of course, the lovely touch that all she needs to do is open her eyes. That’s all the creators have ever been asking people to do – open their eyes to what is hiding in plain sight – and Eurus is allowing Sherlock to see things afresh for the first time. But also, this final breakthrough is what’s going to allow Sherlock to open his own eyes, right? So that phrase is doubly powerful.

And there was me hating on TFP for three years. That’s a brief journey through the highs and lows of series 4, though if anyone can explain the planes in TST to me that would be wonderful! The next chapter will do a run through of HLV before we move onto TAB and series 4.

[mogwaei]

Wolf Statues and the Tower of Bone tinfoil!

A theory about wolf statues crossed my dash again which...got me thinking along a somewhat separate train of thought of all the different places we find them. I’ve seen the posts about the Dales/Exalted Plains, but not much about somewhere like Emprise du Lion. I’m not sure if this has already been talked about, but I’ve been searching and can’t find any posts elsewhere.

This is going to be a long and rambling post about Wolf statues and Emprise du Lion, so a two in one theory 😂. I’ve never actually written a meta and I generally hoard my theories and write them in fic...because I’m not good at writing anything that isn’t in story format. You’ve been warned lol

First, some really long and tangential exposition about statues.

There are a ton of Wolf statues across the game. We’ve got a whole pack of them across the Exalted Plains watching over various locations. But they’re also located in a lot of the elven temples we run across as well. @serial-chillr​ and I were talking about the possibility that, assuming the Wolves are all Fen’Harel statues (unless the ones in the Dales are Emerald Knight wolves, but I kinda doubt that), then what is the likelihood of Solas himself having built these statues?

We know from Solas himself that elvhen nobility used to mark their slaves to honour the ‘god’ that they subscribed to. Sooo, why wouldn’t the more zealous ones build great big monuments in addition to marking their slaves?

What I fail to see mentioned in a lot of fics and theories is much mention of these nobles or the politics of Elvhenan. I’m sure that higher ranking elves probably owned land within Evanuris territory, and they probably needed permission before doing so, but I’ll bet that if a kiss-ass noble came up to one of the gods asking to build a pretty statue (hoping for bonus points) the narcissistic bastard god was probably like “You want to build a statue of moi? BUT OF COURSE!!!” and maybe gave the noble a pat on the head and a cookie for kissing butt.

For posterity:

That being said, because I can’t help but mention my own worldbuilding fic, The Guardian, I’m assuming the statues were built of Fen’Harel, and while Solas might not have really approved (or maybe wasn’t even able to stop them from being constructed ‘nu stop I’m not a godddd‘) he would instead have found a way to use them to his advantage. I write that he begins placing statues where allies (both agents and freed slaves) can find them and follow them back to safe places marked for the Rebellion. I go into slightly more detail regarding these special wolves (how he would get statues into the temples/palaces of the Evanuris and how to distinguish them from regular ones) in a plot involving infiltration of a compound in Chapters 111-120. I can’t give away all my secrets!

Anyway, moving onto statues in specific locations:

The one in Emprise du Lion

hewwoh big boi

What I find fascinating about this one specifically is that it’s also located in the same region as Suledin Keep (which also has wolfies inside of it ofc). Because of the landmarks codex in Emprise I’m hedging that this land used to belong to Elgar’nan. Look at Pools of the Sun for reference - THAT’S ALL I GOT FOR NOW

Anyhow, floundering, but my attention was next drawn to the Tower of Bone

In this story, a blood mage summoned a greater pride demon,  who then possessed the entire tower. When the mage died, his sons were  unable to control the demon, so they commissioned eight monstrous iron  chains intended to hold it. The touch of the cold iron chain is the only  thing holding the stone abomination in place. Should they break, the  tower will pull itself off its foundations and walk, destroying  everything in its path.

I know that they found human bones in the tower, but bear with me. I’m tinfoiling hard and trying to read deeper and tie it all together but I’m just a humble apostate hobo.

Anyway, some blood mage summoned a greater pride demon who in turn possesses the tower - of the companions, Solas has the Tower tarot card. The next sequence in the story, the sons bind the tower with 8 chains. The only mention I could find of the number 8 is in the Draconis codex where it mentions there being a possible 8th Old God being stricken from records.

Should all the chains break, the Tower will destroy everything in its path.

The Tower tarot, as we’ve seen in a hundred other tin foils, is commonly interpreted as meaning danger, crisis, destruction, and liberation. It is also associated with sudden unforseen change.  WHICH ISN’T NECESSARILY A BAD THING! (Look, despite everything, I’m hanging to that thread of hope that Solas will have a good ending).

So, again, I’m probably totally wrong but the symbolism here has some pretty interesting potential if it is referring at all to Solas and the Evanuris.

Recap:

>random thought (because I’m totally writing this on the fly) but IF the 8 chains  symbolise something more, then maybe it’s possible that the 8th ‘God’ could be the Sun that is briefly mentioned in elven legend (referring to the codex I mentioned above). And the Sun could be symbolism for yet another thing we aren’t aware of. Whether that’s some sort of dragon or spirit or entity we haven’t been introduced to in game (yet).

>The chains themselves could also be representative of holding back...again, something we don’t know. Blight? Something worse? (thinking about the Dread Wolf Rises mural and the seals, but there are only 7 there. Maybe the 8th is the thing they’re holding prisoner if it isn’t free?) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>While I’m down this rabbit hole, maybe the 8th is part of this: “A final eluvian is situated in a peaceful bolt-hole where Solas has painted murals. Fen’Harel was here and wanted to make sure nobody ever found what the other gods were doing.” - this can be found in the game files under bolt_hole (in other words, maybe it has to do with whatever they found?)

>A big ass, greater Pride demon (more Sooooolllasss symbolism? looking at Tevinter Nights and some other cool theories on Dread Wolf - Pride demon connections)

>Reoccuring tower symbolism (does the little wolf Rook that Mark Darrah tweeted a while back count?)

>Breaking chains (liberation?)

>ALSO THE TOWER IS COVERED IN RED LYRIUM (AAAAAAAH)

>Someone’s gonna go wreak havoc when a Specific Thing Happens (*cough* Solas? *cough*)

I realise I flew off the handles here and I’m not sure if anyone is going to even be able to follow this tangent 😂

Anyway, that’s it for now until I think of something else. If you’re into a long winded fic of worldbuilding and lore weaving, check out The Guardian where I do a lot better job of putting my thoughts into words. I swear I’m not usually this scatterbrained and I spend a LOT of time weaving theories...that I then hoard like Smeagol. :3

As a closing message, I’d like to include this shot of my dear friend @schoute​ ‘s Piper Lavellan who doesn't know where the fuck she is.

Thanks for reading and I apologise if you’ve lost any braincells in this thought spaghetti orz

[sheliesshattered]

This Isn’t A Ghost Story extras for Chapter 5: The Present

It’s Friday, so the next chapter of This Isn’t A Ghost Story has been posted! Chapter 5 is here on Tumblr, and here on AO3. There are spoilers below the cut, but I walk through the chapter in order, so it’s fairly safe to keep this one open for visual references as you read, if you want.

Those of you who have been following along with my writing process for This Isn’t A Ghost Story may have noticed how the story grew and morphed on me as I wrote. Despite knowing early-on the sort of story I wanted to tell and all the facets of the mystery that would need to be revealed, the story still managed to grow organically and surprise me at various points.

When I finished chapter 4 and started working on chapter 5, I had every intention that chapter 5 would be the final chapter, with a short epilogue that followed -- six chapters total, rather than the eight we ended up with. I knew what plot points and mystery reveals ch5 needed to cover, and I figured I could fit it all into one reasonably sized chapter. Even as late as the last week of July I was still thinking along those lines, and I quite nearly started posting chapters then, thinking I was nearly finished writing. 

But something held me back from posting, and when I woke up the next morning I realized that chapter 5 really needed to be split. What ended up being chapter 5 and chapter 6 are together about 12,300 words, which wouldn’t have been the longest chapter I’ve ever posted, but certainly longer than I meant for chapters in this story to be, and thankfully I was able to find a good spot to split it.

As with the rest of this story, my husband Jack has been acting as my beta reader and in-house cheerleader, and particularly after reading chapter 4 he was really adamant that I keep focusing on writing and get through the story as quickly as possible -- maybe partially so I could start posting, but mostly so he could read it and find out the answers to the rest of the mystery, lol. Starting with chapter 5, he began reading chunks of the chapter as I finished them, and then eventually went back and re-read all of chapter 5. And every time he’s read it, he’s commented that this is his favorite line in the entire chapter:

“No,” she told him firmly. “Not unless you take away my say in it.” She didn’t add again, but she knew they were both thinking it.

Jack and I have been together nearly two decades, and I think it’s that shared unspoken language of spouses that he finds so amusing here.

For most parts of this story, I can’t really pinpoint exactly when I wrote a particular line or scene, as I tend to write non-consecutively as bits come to mind, tackle conversations or plot points I know will need to happen and then fill in the gaps in between, and go over any given section dozens of times making little edits or adding whole paragraphs until it reads the way I want it to, with the sort of pacing and emotional weight I think it needs. But this bit in particular, I know exactly when I wrote it:

“Our story, Doctor... It isn’t the tragedy you think it is. This isn’t a ghost story. It never was. It’s a love story. And if I know one thing about love stories? They always have a happy ending, one way or another.”

July 15th. I’d been having a rough writing day, hated everything I’d written the day before (more or less everything from the start of ch5 to that line, in its first draft form), and was feeling really unmotivated. Then I saw some excellent meta about the episode Hide on my dash that @clara-oswin-oswald​ had just posted. The title for this story comes from something the Eleventh Doctor says in that episode, and here was Sophie talking about that scene again, just when I was ready to stuff This Isn’t A Ghost Story into a drawer and never look at it again.

My intention with the title for this story had always been to evoke that line from Hide, and hope that most people would be able to fill in the second half of the sentence, “it’s a love story”, on their own. But it hadn’t occurred to me until I was reading Sophie’s meta that I could actually have Clara articulate exactly that thought within the story. The 42 words of that line of dialogue was all I managed to write on July 15th, but I woke up the next morning feeling significantly better about the story and ready to dive back in, make the edits that would fix the first part of the chapter, and keep hacking away at the next scenes to come. 

Of course, the next bit I was trying to connect up with was actually something I’d written parts of earlier, that corresponded with the teeny tiny detail I’d posted a little poll about way back at the end of June. I knew I wanted to introduce Clara’s wedding ring around this point in the story, but I got hung up on what it should look like. Theoretically that should be a little inconsequential detail, just a single line of prose to help the reader visualize it better, but the results from that poll -- blue, unusual, and in support of world-building -- ended up leading me down a complete rabbit hole of research, that eventually spawned what turned into chapter 8. I’ll wait to share the details on that for when we reach ch8 at the end of this month, but the relevant bits from chapter 5 are of course Clara’s ring and what inspired the Doctor to pick that one for her in the first place.

Clara’s ring is based on these two antique rings:

The center stone is what’s known as a star sapphire, which are known to be particularly stunning in direct sunlight.

The Doctor tells Clara that when he first saw it -- presumably while ring shopping before their wedding in 1923 -- he was reminded of when he took her to see the archaeological work going on at the Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut in 1921. The Temple does in fact have multiple areas where the ceilings are painted blue with rayed stars. It’s a popular motif from that era of ancient Egypt and shows up in a several other places as well.

I picture the jewelry box that Clara digs up as looking something along these lines:

The other piece of jewelry that is mentioned in detail is the necklace the Doctor bought for Clara in 1925. It’s based on the winged sun disk found on many ancient Egyptian temples:

It’s also meant to be a nod to the necklace Clara wears in The Bells of Saint John and The Rings of Akhaten, similar in both design and size:

From there, we get into one of the final remaining mysteries of the story, which the Doctor is clearly reluctant to talk about. There have been hints about this as far back as the first chapter, and from comments on previous chapters, I think a few of you may have guessed that this is where things were headed. Did this reveal turn out the way you thought it would? Or did it surprise you?

Lots of heartbreak at the end of this chapter, but we’re only a few chapters away from our happy ending now. It has been so much fun for me to hear your thoughts and theories as the mystery has unfolded! Thank you to everyone who has left a comment on This Isn’t A Ghost Story, both here and over on AO3. ❤️

--

Extras for Chapter 6: The Future

[eldritch-elrics]

tagged by @malvoliowithin for a writing meme! more talking about fanfic wooo

name

voidknight on ao3! and most other places actually

fandoms

oh man i’ve written for SO many different fandoms but in the last year i’ve been most prolific with works for the magnus archives, fullmetal alchemist, and mo dao zu shi. as one might expect haha

in the past i’ve also written a ton of fic for kirby, homestuck, and various shakespeare plays. it’s quite the combination of things!

where you post

just ao3!

most popular oneshot

was VERY happy to check my ao3 stats and discover it was greatest warriors, aka the one meta knight/galacta knight fic that people are always talking to me about on my kirby sideblog :D i’m still really proud of it and i’m so happy it resonated with so many people

(it technically has two chapters but shhh it counts because chap 2 is just an epilogue)

most popular multichap

spacetime, sexuality, and other complex conundrums, which is a homestuck canon divergence au centered around a poly ship, featuring time travel shenanigans and lots of relationship building. this is also still the longest single thing i’ve ever written? which is pretty cool i think

favorite story you’ve written so far

i cannot POSSIBLY answer this. however one fic i always think back on fondly is he may even dream again, which is a very long character study of gooey, a minor character from kirby. i’m just really proud of being able to construct an entire backstory and personality for a character with very little canon content, and i really liked creating the dreamlike atmosphere of that fic (plus writing an unreliable narrator!)

fic you were nervous to post

haha definitely this one because it has a bit of Steamy Content which is not the sorta thing i usually post

how do you choose your titles

oh man titles are the worst! oftentimes i use either a song lyric or a line from a poem (or shakespeare play). sometimes i take a quote from the fic itself, or from somewhere in the source material. one formula i use a lot is to pick a couple representative words and call it [x, y, and z]. one time i went “fuck it” and titled a fic like a clickbait article

also if i can find a way to make a fic title have a double meaning i will jump on it so quickly

do you outline

i usually write notes. for longer fics i do try to outline unless i have a super clear picture in my head of where it’s going. if i’m writing something multichaptered i run out of motivation/ideas very quickly if i don’t have an outline

complete

i have 73 works posted to ao3...

in progress

2 wips right now! one is nothing beside remains, my angsty songxuexiao fic, and one is a sequel to my wwx/nhs fic except more romcom-y

...i also have a bunch of wips for other fandoms that i haven’t worked on in months or even years.....

coming soon / not yet started

i really want to write another ningxian fic. probably something fluffy. and also requited for once?

i’ve also been playing around with a couple aus in my head where wen ning and song lan outlive all their friends and kind of struggle to deal with the passage of time and being essentially immortal and all that wonderful stuff

prompts?

i haven’t written for prompts in forever but i think that could be fun to do sometime? i dunno! if anyone comes into my inbox with a fic idea i’d be very excited, though of course i can’t promise i’d write it

upcoming work you’re most excited about

i just want to finish my xiao xingchen fic is that too much to ask

tagging

can’t actually think of many mutuals who write but @goth-blaze and @lady-in-the-lair if you’re interested!!

[littlesailorinthesun]

retcons, the timeline, and shining nikki

I recently received the Lore Files book, and though it’s in Chinese, a few friends of mine have helped me dig through it. If you aren’t aware, the book is a 2020 release: an official compendium of lore as well as an artbook. It’s only available in Chinese, but it is what it is; at least I don’t have to concern myself with bad translation this way. 

This post is less of an essay and more of a rant, for what it’s worth. But to those who like the story as much as I do, perhaps you’ll find it interesting as well. 

The lore book is... comprehensive.

It’s interesting what it decided to go into detail on, and what it decided not to. Many characters had about as much information as you could glean from their first story appearance and did not go into further detail, such as the Mayor and Starlet. Some were surprisingly more elaborate.

It answered some questions, though not as many as I would have wanted. As was implied before but never directly stated (my nemesis), Bobo is the descendant of the True King, aka the “Lightbringer” - an unofficial translation, but apparently pretty true to the literal meaning. What’s more, even more information was given about this mysterious figure, such as his real name, exactly when he lived and died, and a few more specifics about his life. 

However, it didn’t confirm many popular implied-but-never-directly-stated fan theories (a topic I hope to elaborate on later on this blog). It did give a couple of shreds of evidence that supported them. But I’m sort of a person that likes solid proof, if you understand what I mean? That’s why I take so much care to write when something is unconfirmed.

New information

Some more information it gave contradicted some older information. One of which I’m a little sensitive to is regarding Ace. She was previously listed as a Sagittarius on a Weibo post, and a little-known (I think?) fact is that this information was reflected in-game during the Brave New World event! In the pavilion screen, each character (Bobo, Lunar, Kimi, and Ace) had a constellation next to them that corresponded with their canonical zodiac, so there were multiple pieces of evidence indicating Ace’s zodiac. However, her new zodiac is Aries with a birthday of March 28. It also contradicted her height and made her seven (!!!) centimeters shorter than her previously-stated height (167cm -> 160cm). 

Other characters with new birthday information given were Xiao Zong, Nidhogg, and (I guess) Cesare. (We could have assumed Cesare’s birthday was the same as Chloris’ before, but it’s nice to have confirmation.) While the book gave us Nidhogg’s age (28), it did not directly state Xiao Zong’s in his profile. However, a glimpse into the timeline at the back of the book showed us Sayet’s year of birth, and Sayet is canonically older than Xiao Zong. The only thing is, Sayet would be ninety-seven were he still alive today. Xiao Zong being younger than 97 feels, frankly, absurd to me, considering this is a man who apparently lived so long he got bored with life. It’s also possible that he lied to Sayet about his age. But this is all we have to go on!

What about Shining Nikki?

At first glance, this book seems to be a shockingly unifying force that marries Love Nikki lore and Shining Nikki lore. Spoilers for the ending of Love Nikki, but we learn in the very first chapter of Shining Nikki that Nikki saw Lierlide, a god-like edgy handsome white-haired boye (let me thirst okay), destroy all of Miraland and that’s basically why she’s not in 680 anymore. 

Well, the book has several pages with pictures of Lierlide and the Ark, and even an explanation of what the Ark is. That’s pretty cool. 

But then you flip to the timeline at the end of the book, and you’re left scratching your head. 

Shining Nikki has a detailed account of the Apple independence war, set years before the main story, but the timeline writes that Apple gained independence in 147 New Era after an uprising against colonial rule - two very different dates given. 

It also writes that the Mercury Bank was established in 478 New Era, which is even more absurd. Even just a glimpse into SN lore will show you that Mercury is already a major financial presence. (You can even see one of their buildings in this recently-released PV!)

Finally, the last thing that was not in the lore book (from what I’ve seen), but was released at the same time as the book was released, is a post that claims, among other things, that the first computer in Miraland was created in year 556. Given that we see actual computers in Shining Nikki as well as a host of other technology, even social media, I don’t think these two facts are reconcilable.  

So are they trying to be compliant with Shining Nikki or???

Resolving the gaps

How does one resolve these inconsistencies in the timeline? It seems that they’re trying to do just that by claiming that, around the time of Shining Nikki, everyone entered an extended shared dream. This shared dream also included advanced technology and, to an extent, influenced the world afterwards. Information about the dream was written both in the post linked above as well as in the book. It feels like what they are trying to insinuate is that that shared dream is Shining Nikki.

However, this was never stated! The only things we know is that the dream and Shining Nikki were said to happen at the same year. The shared dream occurrence is meant to be an explanation for why they started their calendar over, NOT an explanation for Shining Nikki. As I understand it, they don’t actually have an explanation in Shining Nikki, and from what I’ve seen, only Nikki has called it “year 0″ there. I don’t know what calendar system they currently think they’re using. Please feel free to correct me if you know more, though.

Even this feels shaky, though, when you try to think about how long this dream would have lasted if every piece of information given in Shining Nikki that contradicts this timeline was included. Mercury (the man) is over a hundred years old, and he’s not the only ridiculously old person who has memories stretching back years. Would people have been born inside the dream, like the eighteen-year-old Haizhe who is strongly implied to be an ancestor of Kimi’s? 

It feels like they could have easily just not included these contradictory things in the timeline. It is not like the writers of this book didn’t know about Shining Nikki’s existence, as the entire book opens with it. So it seems likely that they are doing it on purpose to fuel the theory that Shining Nikki happened, but it happened in a dream-world, and the progress they made was lost when everyone woke up. If this is true, I’m guessing the meta-reason for doing this would be so that SN could do whatever it wanted with the plot and still have it be an enjoyable experience.

But remember, it's all just a theory, a game theory

I’d like to stress again that this is still only a theory and that not every piece of evidence holds up. However, it’s something I’ve been throwing around in my head, and receiving my copy of the book and going through it brought it back to the forefront of my mind.

It’s also pretty clear that considering the book retconned other previously-stated facts, perhaps this is just yet another mistake, and they aren’t that familiar with Shining Nikki after all beyond how LN is meant to end. Or perhaps they decided on purpose to only join the two stories with LN at the end and SN at the beginning, and beyond that each story was free to include its own lore without having to confirm each individual detail with the other, which sounds like it might make logistical sense. I don’t know the full story regarding who writes what, to be honest, so this is just me throwing things at the wall and hoping they stick. 

Finally, as pretty much all of this information I just wrote about was never officially translated to English, I’d like to thank the amazing translators of this fandom who have provided us with so much valuable information from both Love Nikki and Shining Nikki. Being able to read the text as translated by someone who understands the story is incredibly valuable. The things I wrote about are not based on Google Translate in case that is a concern. But I’m liable to mistakes like any other human, so let me know if I misspoke.

[captain-aralias]

Writing Tag Game

thank you @angelsfalling16​ for bringing this meme to us. and also for the tag.

AO3 name: aralias

Fandoms: currently, Carry On. previously - blake’s 7, doctor who and related fandoms, harry potter

Tropes: fake relationship - and clearly, role reversal is a big thing with me. AUs that are canon divergence. carry on specific tropes i like include...... vampirsm, of course. spell goes wrong. and simon walking in on baz. 

Number of fics: looks like 135 works on AO3 if i remove works tagged podfic or meta, although that means i’ve done 45 podfics or metas, which doesn’t seem right. so it’s somewhere between 135 and 180. 

Fic I spent the most time on: in time actually spent writing, it’s got to be something like ... the engimatic blake, which i was writing for a year. meanwhile in another universe maybe. keep calm is also pretty high up there, as i think we were given 6 months or something to write, and i thought - that’s ridiculous, that’s far too much time. and then we hit posting day, and i’d only written the first three chapters. 

if we’re thinking actual time between the first word written and the fic being posted, indecent suggestion - which was a fic i wrote for my mills and boon fest (where you take a summary from a mills and boon novel, change the names - hilarious results) was abandoned, and then i finished it three years later. 

Fic I spent the least time on: there are a few fics where i just sat down and wrote the whole thing - which is the exact opposite of my normal process where i faff around for months or (see above) years. ‘coming up for air’ is one. and several of my short b7 fics, including the first one i ever wrote ‘something borrowed’.

Longest Fic: keep calm is officially my longest work by 15 thousand words

Shortest Fic: terminal point is the shortest (apart from the snippets of fics and remixthedrabbles etc). i wrote this fic to fill a hole in my blake’s 7 zine layout. its length was entirely defined by how much page there was.

Most hits/kudos/comment threads/bookmarks: all my most popular fics are carry on fics.

hits - mage’s heir

kudos - sex and blood

comments and bookmarks - keep calm

Total word count: 1,101,882

Favourite fic I wrote: i have a ‘one of my favourites’ tag on AO3 that i’ve used very liberally. 

but - you constantly write new things and fall in love with them, though, right? because they’re you’re new fandom and you just worked on them, though - so: i can see why i have about 11 favourites. and i haven’t even put all my long carry on fics on it. 

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: none of them at at the moment. i think they’re all pretty well closed off/don’t need a sequel, and i wouldn’t want to re-write them. 

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: i haven’t started writing greener grass 3, but i’m planning on writing a scene with baz flying. i thought this was very important to put in - time will tell whether it was. but i think it is, because it’s a thing that makes simon feel good about being in his body, and baz has mostly felt terrible while being simon. i was going to put it into chapter 2, but i think it’s going to be in the third. 

the next thing i write will be the remix, so i have no idea what that will be. and then, i intend to write a ‘carry on’ roleswap where simon is a vampire (what a not surprise). but it’s possible it will not happen. i should probably write something short and smutty instead, otherwise i’ll be bogged down in epic nonsense until this time next year. no particular ideas for that, though. 

tags: @annabellelux @sourcherrymagiks @ninemagicks @theniftycat @agapi42 @bunn1cula @thisbluespirit

[yume-x-hanabi]

Writer Meta Meme

I decided to do all the questions on this meme :)

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

My current project is Concubinage, my gaiwin arranged marriage AU. It started as a random, entirely self-indulgent idea, but it has since grown into an actual project. Progress is good, I’ve managed to do bi-monthly updates and I have 30k in my drafts so far.

What I love the most about it is that, since it’s an AU, I’m pretty free to do whatever I want. I don’t have to be too careful of timelines and so on. Plus, in this AU, Gaius and Wingul are able to get closer than they otherwise would, due to the different circumstances. They have their own trials, but it’s different than in the canon timeline.

Another current project is Tales of Xillia Week, but I didn’t get much inspiration for it so I think I’m gonna do meta/headcanon posts more than fics ^^;

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I’m looking forward to getting to the part where it’s just domestic fluff haha. It’ll take a while to reach that point though.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Not just one scene ig, but I’ve been wanting to write one-shots showing how the Chimeriad survived, and... haven’t gotten around to planning it. So it’s pretty low on my project list tbh.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I have... a few, but they’re all spoilers for future chapters XD;;

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I don’t... really identify with characters. I mean, they’re pretty different than me in personality, life and circumstances...

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I love writing Gaius and Wingul of course, but Agria’s probably the most fun. She’s completely unrestrained, which makes her pretty easy and fun to let loose XD

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Exposition and worldbuilding XD

I can’t help it, I always need to develop the setting...

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes. I would love it if more people wrote gaiwin XD

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I used to be more of a ficlet writer, but I’m currently doing well with a longfic XD

As for the rest, it varies. I like to plot and outline a bit, but it’s often rather loose and I let inspiration guide me.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Wait for inspiration time, energy and motivation to align.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

Those who update super long fics every week. How do you do it????

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Naah, I’m fine in my corner of fandom. Though I wouldn’t say no to a few more readers, if only to know that the ship still sails xD

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

Yep, I post on AO3. And all projects are meant to be posted one day, but some aren’t simply because they aren’t finished.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

The beginning, usually, but I might change it

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Tags are easy. Titles and summaries are hard, and I always end up with something boring but heh, as long as they get the meaning across...

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

It was last year, but I tried first person pov with my Agria fic, because that fits her well. I’d like to try poetry, maybe.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I have no idea tbh. When I write, I like to imagine what my readers will think (especially like when I write funny scenes, I hope they’ll make people laugh), but idk if it’s exactly like I think.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

In Concubinage, I considered adding a plotline where Arst met an ex and had to deal with complicated feelings about it -- being reminded how it was to be in a loving relationship vs political marriage, craving intimacy like he used to have with said ex, etc. I ended up scrapping the idea though.

I also have... two or three possible ways things can play out in a much later plotpoint, and I think I’m pretty sure of which way I’ll go already, but the other possibilities exist. Maybe I’ll make a post about all abandoned plotlines one day...

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

“And, but, and, but...” XD;

Also characters often find themselves doing something before they knew it...

My style is probably pretty repetitive. I’m not a native speaker, and I feel limited sometimes...

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Concubinage is the result of watching too many sageuk and  taiga drama. No I’m not sorry.

When writing AU, I always like to include “cameo” of the original storyline (for example, as the plot of a book, or treating the canon games as a fractured dimension in Chimeriad Live AU’s, etc)

In Fractured Lives, I try to alternate Wingul and Gaius’ pov. It’s probably gonna bite me in the ass when some plot points work better in one pov but the chapter requires the other. I’ll probably have to come up with some fillers or something...

I have extensive headcanon about Auj Oule’s geography, history etc, which pops up in a lot of (planned) fics. Even if it’s different fics/AU’s (ex. Concubinage vs my pre-game gaiwin project vs the Wingul fic I was writing for the big bang), I reuse the same settings and OC’s. Most of those aren’t written/posted yet so it’s pretty self-contained for now, but if I ever get to completing those projects I hope it won’t be too confusing to readers who don’t follow all the stories...

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

If I had the art skills, I’d love to turn some of them into comics ;A;

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Sometimes. Usually because I need to refresh my memory before writing a new chapter XD

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

That project to write the whole pre-game Gaius & Wingul history, that’s something I’ve been wanting since forever. Well, I originally wanted to read it, but since no one’s gonna do it, I started thinking I should write it. It’s gonna be a huge project though...

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

I honestly have no idea. I do sense a difference in that it’s much easier for me to just write now; I guess habit helps. But I have no idea if style changed or anything lol.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Filling the tag with my OTP XD

[sleepymarmot]

Re-liveblog: eps. 4 & 10

Here's something I've been planning to do for a while -- rereading the liveblog of The Untamed I wrote a couple of months ago and looking at my own initial reactions to Jin Guangyao's storyline with new eyes. Returning to old liveblogs is always fun, but particularly when the perspective on something changes so much by the end of the story!

Of course, this turned into a monstrosity with word count in thousands that sat in my drafts for about a month, and involved rewatching most of the scenes the liveblog mentioned, and some that it didn't. Please be warned: this series of posts is not meant to be a comprehensive analysis, and will jump from one point to another or highlight only the things I have changed my mind about, or haven’t talked on this blog before. It is going to include some very personal interpretations and opinions, sometimes possibly (or definitely, in the case of this very post) unpopular or negative. I am here to reflect on my own experience of watching the show almost as much as to write meta about the show itself.

[All re-liveblog posts]

[ep 4]

is this shy illegitimate son the same person who summoned WWX in the first episode, or are they two entirely unrelated bastards? I don’t think the ages match up…

Oh, so that's what I was thinking during Meng Yao's introduction scene: trying to figure out whether he was the same person as Mo Xuanyu or not. That's funny.

[negativity ahead!]

Of course, I was also admiring Xichen's elegant way of Using His Privilege For Good, but I thought that was self-explanatory enough not to put in the liveblog. It didn’t occur to me this scene could be interpreted as a sect leader openly hitting on a disadvantaged youth, or that such an interpretation would be popular, especially in a literal and positive way as opposed to a dark or subversive headcanon. So even if this is ever confirmed to be an intended message of the scene, I’d just say “I recognize the council has made a decision...” and continue to disregard it. Kind of incredible how it manages to squick me in at least five ways -- and xiayo is one of my main ships in this fandom! And not only squick -- in my eyes, sexualizing LXC’s intentions in this scene not only adds something that I don’t like, but actively detracts from the textual, surface meaning and narrative function of LXC’s actions (establishing LXC as a Model Authority Figure who masterfully manipulates the social power dynamics not for self-interest, but for justice, kindness, and peaceful conflict resolution; see also the following scene with the Wens). And from the other side, I think Meng Yao is shocked and impressed specifically because someone like LXC would do this for someone like him without an ulterior motive; I suspect that if he saw this as LXC making an excuse to touch someone attractive, he would only be turned off: a sect leader who can’t keep his hands to himself is nothing new and nothing good from the point of view of JGS’s illegitimate child.

But if this brief brushing of hands holds any in-universe significance in addition to a possible foreshadowing of this relationship’s future importance -- I think I just finally realized what it must be! This interaction is an adaptation of the following scene from the book (which, to be fair, happens when MY and LXC already know each other, not during a first meeting):

Meng Yao had been a famous joke for a certain period of time, which was why a few recognized him. Likely thinking that the son of a prostitute perhaps also carried some unclean things with him, the cultivators didn’t drink from the cups that he had presented with both hands. Instead, they put the cups to the side and even took out white handkerchiefs. As though it felt too uncomfortable, they repeatedly wiped the fingers that they’d touched the teacup with, either intentionally or not. Nie MingJue wasn’t someone mindful to such things. Wei WuXian, though, caught sight of this through the corners of his eyes. Meng Yao acted as if he didn’t see anything, his smile unfaltering as he continued to pass around tea.

As Lan XiChen accepted his cup, he looked up at him and smiled, “Thank you.”

He drank a sip of the tea immediately afterward. Only then did he continue to converse with Nie MingJue. A few cultivators began to feel uneasy as they saw the scene.

(Chapter 48)

So CQL!Meng Yao’s eyebrows twitch in pleased surprise because the sect leader not only personally approached to verbally support him, but took something directly from his hands, not even trying to avoid him or flinching at skin contact. As if it didn’t even occur to the majestic Zewu-jun to think of Meng Yao as dirty or disgusting.

I don’t know if this is an intended interpretation either, because I don’t remember anyone specifically avoiding physical contact with MY in the show, and on the contrary, there were examples of both friendly (from Huaisang) and unfriendly (from the commander) touch. But I certainly prefer it to the other interpretation, and ignoring the interaction altogether seems a bit intellectually dishonest.

[/negativity]

On another note, much is said about JGY’s performativity, but check out LXC’s! Someone’s being bullied in his classroom? Not on his watch! Time to descend from his pedestal like truth coming out of her well, Very Pointedly and at length explain how this person Has His Official And Personal Approval And Is Very Welcome Here, then take the gift from him personally instead of letting a disciple do that. Note how in the following scene, he also personally accepts the gift from Wen Qing as a peacemaking gesture. I love how LXC’s character establishing event is about defusing not one but two uncomfortable situations in a row. Of the two brothers, all social skills went to him...

I have no comment on the goodbye scene. Just sadness.

Oh wait, after rewatching the entire show and coming back to the post, I do have something to say. This episode is the only time I can say with all certainty that all of Meng Yao’s words and reactions are fully sincere. After this point in the timeline, it will never happen again. :(

It’s a shame that the gifs I’ve seen of this scene end with the iconic stopped bow, because the final shots are also great! As soon as MY turns away, his face becomes clouded again, and seconds after the Sect Leader himself held his arms and assured they were peers, he felt the need to bow and lower his eyes as some unnamed disciples walked by. And the bitter look he sends after them tells the viewer how much he is aware of falling from the dreamland where a nobleman would compliment him like three times within three minutes, back to the regular life where it is better not to be noticed at all. Meanwhile, Xichen looks him in the back like “I want it to grow strong and healthy, I want to tell my friends and neighbors about it”.

[ep 10]

Alright, when 10 minutes ago I thought “Meng Yao, sweetie, kill that clown”, this is not what I had in mind

SOMEBODY GIVE MENG YAO A HUG (after some emergency medical care) HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE. Can Xichen adopt him now?

Ah, the joys of the first viewing. 

At this point, I was thinking of both Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue exclusively as of father figures for Meng Yao. For LXC I think I slowly started to notice the romantic tension later but made a complete flip to the romantic interpretation only during the "late light talks... no sign of curse on his body" conversation. For NMJ it was during the head flashback. And as much as I like these pairings, it does feel like a loss that their existence displaces the very different pseudo-family dynamic. I think a story in which NMJ, LXC, WRH and JGS are all openly presented as competing father figures would be interesting; has anyone written that?

On rewatch, I was outraged by all of the blatant manipulation that I bought completely on the first viewing. MY is very good at playing a wounded bird -- especially when he's literally wounded. I had wondered why he just limped away without treating it, but now it's obvious he is using Stoic Suffering to invoke pity and admiration. Just like, a few minutes earlier, he showed NMJ that he was ready to be struck down, and it saved his life. He tells NHS with a sad but brave face “I won't be able to take care of you anymore” and on first viewing it worked on me just as he intended -- I thought “Poor boy, so trained to serve, he puts his duty to others above his own feelings even in this situation”. Ha...

And NMJ is only helping his case. He had the chance to explain everything and share the truth of MY's actions. And in the novel, he does take this chance, retelling the incident to Xichen (who chooses to turn a blind eye). Instead, NMJ basically confirms MY’s narrative: by hiding the reason for the exile, he makes it seem like there was no respectable reason at all. NMJ, all by himself, makes himself look like an irrational tyrant, and MY like a victim of an arbitrariness. And he does it in front of Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, no less -- an heir to a major clan and his brother! By trying not to discuss internal problems with outsiders, he achieves an opposite effect. Luckily for him, JC and WWX don't give a shit... But imagine how different the plot would be if they had this information from the start?

What I still don't understand is -- what was Meng Yao’s plan in this episode? Who was he working for? Who was his accomplice, whose feet we saw in the later flasback -- surely not Xue Yang himself, he’s supposed to be under arrest! Was he working with the Jin secretly already? (I don’t think so: in a later scene, JGS asks him about this incident, seemingly ignorant.) Or with the Wen (I don't remember -- did Xue Yang go back to the Wen afterwards)? Or just with Xue Yang directly, setting him completely free just on the promise of future cooperation? This seems most plausible -- but to risk and lose everything over such an uncertain gamble doesn’t make MY look very smart.

I have some other things to say about the events of this episode, but they’ll be in the post about the flashbacks in episode 41.

[augustheart]

1, 9, 15, 20 for the writing ask meme!

This time around all of these are for fics by the way.

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Like I said in the last ask at any given time I have a stupidly high number of projects I’m working on but I will take this time to talk about the ridiculously long one I’m putting most of my energy toward now! (The tab is open right now and it is taunting me with that “last updated yesterday at [...]” notification and its 32,427 word wordcount.)

I won’t say exactly what it’s about even though it’s not that hard to figure out and several people already know exact details but progress is generally pretty good! Not the fastest I’ve ever written because I write in fits and starts but it’s going pretty good! (Just jinxed it though for sure.) I’m working on chapter five of a planned ten, and I really hope I don’t overshoot that by accident. It’s fun! It’s definitely more like the things I used to write when it comes to like... the actual angst/“whump” part because there’s a lot of that here, and I’m very really mean to readers with a couple of these cliffhangers. Chapter two and chapter four are especially rude, sorry.

I love all of it. I love that I get to write about people overcoming hardship and coming together and also beating the shit out of people who hurt their loved ones. I genuinely love what I’m writing now and I think it’s probably one of my best works and I’m glad that I decided to write it all out in advance before posting it because I feel like that gives me time to really perfect it. It also makes it easier to go back and seed plot elements through the prewritten chapters, which is helpful because I keep forgetting about a character and going back to make sure that they get to be there because they’re, y’know, the main protagonist of the show. (Don’t worry there is still a character arc and a story she has, it just gets lost in the shuffle a little because there are like... six storylines going on at once that need to intersect. I think six, anyway. There are a lot. Jeez, I think it may be closer to seven, counting the villains...)

Anyway please [Eric Andre “let me in” voice] show me support when I finally post it because I imagine the fandom will be relatively in brumation when I finally do all things considered. 

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I refuse to write really short things, it has to be at least 1,000 words for some reason, but I do both! I prefer my longfics, I think they give me more time to write plot and flesh out characters, but I’ve found that a good median wordcount for me is...like...6,000 words? That’s usually what I fall on when I limit myself to something under 10,000 that has the potential for more than just 1-2,000 words. But I do like to read and write both! As evidenced by some of my current projects shaping up to be over 50,000 words at least if they haven’t already left that count in the dust by now (hi, Half Light, you stupidly long son of a bitch). 

And I am the hellish combination of both! I usually know at least how I want it to end, but the entire journey from A to B is a complete mystery to me. Sometimes I’ll have elements I want to incorporate or characters I want to include and I’ll plan for them but I will never, ever write down my outline. The only time I write down outlines it’s when I need to know the concrete timeline for something that’s set in the past or is taking major divergent choices or both (i.e., I made a timeline outline for Heartless leading up to when Eric approaches Dorothy, a timeline outline for Two of Spades when I eventually actually work on that, a timeline outline for what I nicknamed the “I’m no longer baby I want power AU,” etc). Literally every other time I am absolutely flying by the seat of my pants. I don’t know what I’d do without Hedgi who helps me plot at least half the things I write (at least for the fandoms she’s also in), usually after I try to write them and immediately get stuck like a puppy who tried to jump into a lake and found out the shoreline was actually just a bog.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Oh, it really depends. I’m alright at nailing tags down, unless there are categories I want to use that don’t already have a set tag, but sometimes when I think of the concept for a fic it comes ready-made with a summary and I don’t have to think about that at all, or I’m directly inspired by a phrase/lyric/etc and I can just use that for the title and spend hours deliberating on a summary. Luckily for the project I’m working on now the conceit can just be the summary, and the title took a tiny bit of research but I knew what I wanted the bare bones to be and I just needed the actual names/terms. I do think in general, though, summaries are a smidge harder than titles for me. 

12. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I really, really want to answer this one to talk about the different hidden references, relationship development, and foreshadowing that I baked into damn near every level of the big project I’ve been talking about because it’s in literally everything right down to the chapter titles (and there’s a hint to pay attention to them when you read, especially once we get to chapters 6-10, which I am extremely pumped to write), but I also really don’t want to spoil anything, so... time to be as numbingly vague as possible, I guess.

I’m foreshadowing that a character will develop powers by the final act, of course, but I’m also foreshadowing that a different character will not only develop them but use them to basically save the life of another character--and related to that, there is intense foreshadowing of a character using certain things to save someone else’s life at around the same time, which is not subtle at all if you know what you’re looking for (mainly because I slipped it into plain sight) but is part of some nice red herrings if I do say so myself. It also really makes me laugh that I decided to do some, um, “homophobia-shadowing,” where I just... imply that a character is homophobic. I dunno why I just think that’s a funny thing to do even if it has real repercussions for certain characters later. 

There’s some character development mixed that I’m really excited for because it allows a character to go in a completely different direction than they do in canon but in a way that I think still feels really right for them. This happens a couple times, actually, but this one in particular is something I knew had to happen the second I realized how to tie this plot thread back into everything else. I think it’s exactly what the character could’ve needed if this had gone down and I’m really excited to write it. The other character should’ve just been allowed to do this in canon because I think it would’ve fucking ruled.

Also, in everything I write that’s comics-based, whether it’s fic for the comic directly or for a show/movie using comics as source material, everything is a reference. That number code? That could be anything from the first time someone appeared in a comic mixed with the publishing date of the comic itself (i.e. if someone appeared for the first time in 1964 but the comic began publishing in 1959 I’ll use 6459 or 5964) to the creator’s date of birth. I think that I use famous writers of the character/potential creators of the character as street names or last names or aliases whenever I need to bring them up is a lot more obvious. Same with how I use writer/artist initials as “random letters” if I think a code would realistically have one mixed in--I just checked a document for an example of this and found “ADBP5519MWGK6419.”

I also reuse direct lines of dialogue if I think they fit the situation--for example, in Butterfly Effect I lifted the “World War I chic” line directly from Giffen’s Doom Patrol run, which I mentioned in the author’s note, and there’s dialogue in my current big project that’s a direct reference to/play on the “I wish you’d died instead of Mom” line in the JSA Infinite Crisis tie-in (Johns is a fuckin’ hack for that one though and it made no sense for what he used it for, a better line would’ve been “I bet you wish I’d died instead of Mom,” but we don’t have time for that), and I’ll probably directly reference dialogue from JSA/JSA at some point in chapter nine or chapter ten. (Think really hard about how that arc opens if it’s one you’re familiar with, lmao, and remember--there’s no time travel to undo things here!) 

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM manga chapter 119 Review: A Conspiracy?

Buckle up, this review gets long.  I was away on family business for a few days so I missed this one’s drop.  It’s meant though that I’ve had longer to ponder my thoughts. 

Core take away for me is that like Hellfire Flame and Gale Wind trying to recruit Sonic set us up to better understand the Ninja arc when it showed up in the webcomic, this ‘glimpse behind the scenes’ at the conspiracies brewing sight unseen is foundation for what will burst into the open later, apparently from nowhere. 

Anyway, onto the review.  Much more under the cut.  First though, One-Shotter is still alive!  Looks like his mechanised parts are much more extensive than initially appeared. 

I tell you, it doesn’t pay to be a cyborg hero in OPM. It’s just inviting gratuitous cruelty into your life.

Soon Gets Sooner

This chapter, I honestly expected Drive Knight to just leave with Nyan and stay the international Cyborg of Mystery he'd been to date.  But he stuck around to talk to Sekingar and what we got was a glimpse indeed to the mystery plot that has been brewing from the very start.

We find out just why Drive Knight has a 100% win record: he never, ever fights unless he has carefully studied and formulated an excellent battle plan. Even if it means sacrificing his fellow heroes like pawns.  

And then things get weird. After offering data on the strong monsters in the MA, Drive Knight changes the subject to asking Sekingar about the state of the Hero Association, being very interested in just which capable heroes were left available to respond and whether or not Blast was likely to attend if the Hero Association were attacked.  And then Drive Knight went into full tin-foil hat conspiracy mode, painting the loss of the Metal Knight as a deliberate action by Dr Bofoi to gift the Monster Association with the way to take out the Hero Association.

When Sekingar spoke of not expecting the support heroes to carry out their mission without injury, I’m sure he couldn’t have imagined ending up a casualty.  When he tries to call the Hero Association to check, none other than G5 shows up to shoot his hand off.  As G5 approaches, Drive Knight makes no move to either attack G5, claiming lack of power, nor to protect Sekingar.  Even in extremis though,  Sekingar is still thinking about the support team, the hostage, and what action he could yet take.  Truly, a hero is being forged before our eyes.  He just has to survive the experience.

‘Why not me?’ That’s the central question heroes ask themselves.

Fee, Fi, Do, Fum, Cinderella's At The Ball

We'd seen Garou, who I'd dubbed Sleeping Beauty awaken from his unconsciousness. With a roar, he pummelled PPP into the ground.

Cyborg Cinderella, whom we'd left vacuuming and washing dishes while the others went ahead, may be attending the ball late, but his entrance was no less spectacular. With timing worthy of Saitama himself, just in time, one mighty kick all but split G5 in half, arriving so fast the robot barely had time to register his presence.  It's interesting what summoned him; Saitama's punch may have gotten his attention, but it was G5's energy signature that really got him on scene.

Insane kicks, flips -- and upgrades

Kuseno magic extends to clothes: the last time he used Jet Drive Arrow, he ended up naked. Now Genos isn't just very fashionably dressed, but his raiments are fire-resistant and wonderfully form-hugging.  Until the clock strikes twelve (or ten in his case), he is here to cut some terrifying shapes.

And now all the pieces are in play.

The chapter ends suddenly and ominously.  On one side, we have Genos asking, looking about as cunning as a newborn lamb, what’s going on: 

On the other, if it’s possible for an expressionless face to look unamused, then the very cunning Drive Knight looks most unamused:

Meta: “The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.”  

 -- from the webcomic ‘Schlock Mercenary’ (more here)

I’d wondered why ONE had split Genos off from the rest, in difference to the was he’d gone together with the rest in the webcomic.  It was definite that ONE intended to test Genos in a situation where he had no support, bu the potential for him to discover something new and relevant to his quest is the last thing I expected. 

A peek behind the scenes indeed!  Where from and why Genos came to fetch up at Saitama’s door in chapter 7, telling a tale of evil cyborgs and total extermination, we know not.  It’s seemed increasingly far-fetched as nearly nothing happened with that storyline and the monsters we meet have nothing to do with the sort of intelligences behind any such cyborg.  It’s led to some, too many, fans claiming that in that absence the ‘mad’ cyborg must be Genos himself  -- in a twist of logic too stupid for real life  [Then again, the typical SF story seems to be written by an individual who never met an actual human being...].  I don’t know about the veracity of 90% of what Drive Knight said, but there is a conspiracy indeed. 

So, now we get to understand a bit more about Drive Knight. It’s something I’ve long wondered about:

The thing about Drive Knight is that he hasn't told us who he is yet. At present, he's a blank slate for whom many alignments are possible without betraying who he is. He could be entirely a hero, just acting in ways that are more independent than most would appreciate. He could be a member of The Organization, acting as a mole in the Hero Association. He could be an entirely amoral person, aligning himself to one group or another as suits his goals and all would be consistent with what we don't know about him. Once he declares who he is, we'll be down to many fewer possibilities.  -- myself, Reddit post   

“Everything that can be used must be used.”  With that, Drive Knight has finally told us who he is.   He is highly calculating and will use anything he can to achieve his ends.  At the expense of anyone and anything. 

What to make of all of this? One thing we can be certain of. Drive Knight really hates Bofoi, considers him a threat and reads the worst possible motives into his actions. He wastes no time in trying to sew suspicion about Bofoi whenever possible.   Why?  We don’t know. 

At its most benign, Drive Knight may be like Zombieman and the House of Evolution, seeing evil in Metal Knight and a grand conspiracy where none actually exists.   A less benign possibility is that Drive Knight may be projecting his ambitions onto Metal Knight and describing what he fears Metal Knight has in possession in order to thwart them (whoever ‘them’ is). 

Since we as readers have a quasi-omniscient view of the story, we know that quite a lot of what Drive Knight said about Metal Knight is factually wrong.  We know that he is wrong bout the circumstances under which Bofoi lost the Metal Knight.  We know that he is wrong about its fate.  We know most of all that he is absolutely wrong about Bofoi wanting the capable heroes scattered or defeated.  Dr. Bofoi has been furious with the Hero Association executives for risking the lives of any heroes raiding the Monster Association precisely because he feared what might happen if the ranks of the heroes were thinned. 

Interesting that G5 is definitely its own entity!  Once I realised that the tactical transformations formed around Drive Knight, I’d started to entertain the possibility that the two of them were the same.  That said...

I could well understand Drive Knight having done his own work to understand the nature of the strong monsters actually in the Monster Association base.  However, there is one piece of information G5 has that it could not have reasonably obtained without Drive Knight sharing it. 

When they ran off a second time, they ran off separately.   More pertinently, there’s no reason for G5 to show Sekingar this information: it puts psychological pressure on him, but if G5 just wants to kill him, there’s no point to it.  Instead, Drive Knight drawing attention to the support team and G5 drawing attention to the hostage act as a double-team interrogation to see if Sekingar has some way yet of reaching Blast in time of most extreme need. 

We’ve also learned that Blast is all but retired. It falls into line with what we've gleaned from the webcomic and suggests that he's quite old.

He's just a poor boy from a poor family: spare him his life!  (and limbs)

Dr Kuseno's occasionally prodding Genos to not forget his primary task of finding the 'mad' cyborg, as well as his warning not to fight it alone both make great sense.   In OPM, you get good at what you actually  practice.  Fighting monsters as a hero has been very useful for Genos developing raw fighting prowess. It has done nothing to prepare him to face the cruel, conniving, and creative people that the not-quite-mad cyborg and those behind him are.  Watching Genos ask straightforwardly what the situation and contrasting it to Drive Knight's complicated narrative was to realise how painfully naive Genos is. 

It's all very well to counsel non-engagement, but you deal with the monster before you: situations aren't neat and don't wait until you feel prepared. I'd hoped for another conversation between Genos and Drive Knight but this looks far more dangerous.  I've no doubt that Genos won't die, but his participation in this battle could be VERY short.

So many ways this story could wend.  A few that come to mind:

The most tragic:Drive Knight convinces Genos of his predicament, perhaps offering data on the cadres as a sweetener and Genos escorts him and the fallen heroes out of the war zone.  As soon as Drive Knight is sure Genos is safely underground, he'll kill Sekingar... and probably the support heroes into the bargain. If he burns them, the only fire-wielder known is Genos.  If he's really clever, catching up with Waganma and Food Battler, dragging them back and burning them too creates a compelling narrative of Genos (already suspected of colluding with the monsters) waylaying the support heroes as they tried to retreat and killing them all.  Drive Knight can show up at the Hero Association and continue his activities. No witnesses, a convenient scapegoat, and near total freedom to carry on his agenda.

Mortal combat. No matter what changes to the webcomic ONE has planned, Genos isn't about to get killed, so Drive Knight is either going to have to run for it or else get killed. Knowing who Drive Knight is, there is no possibility that he would defeat Genos and leave the latter alive -- even if he were that careless, Genos announcing that any enemy that gives him trouble will find that he comes back very quickly and very much stronger would put paid to that. (yes, he’s so naive!)    Either way, Drive Knight won't be working as a hero any longer.   For Genos, victory is likely to be expensive -- he runs the risk of sustaining critical damage, which will force him to retreat, or of wasting precious, precious energy that he could really use later.   Very interesting repercussions will definitely follow.

Hit him in the heroism. Drive Knight could use the heroes and Sekingar as hostages and get Genos to allow him to leave unmolested. He won't be coming back to the HA but it looks like he knows all he needs to. Genos won't like it, but as a person who has long established his willingness to take incredible punishment to protect others from harm, he won't have any other course of action.  I suspect that this is the most likely outcome.

Whatever actually happens! Only ONE (and Murata) know.  I know I need the next instalment!

Bonus question. Where is the cat?  Drive Knight dropped it when G5 showed up and it hasn't been in evidence since.