#is that enough for a milestone ?? i think so
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“you’re a natural, lucy gray,” billy praises with a smile, eventually letting go of her hip and resting his hand on top of hers once more. she truly is a natural. besides, she’s already bonded with the horse which is an additional advantage, and sundance doesn’t seem to be particularly stubborn. these two are meant to be. “he really is. there’s just somethin’ about white horses. they always look so majestic and have the most angelic personalities.” which can’t be said about black horses. for some reason, most of those are demons. “i think he’s happy you’ve finally decided to trust him and let him carry you instead of walkin’ beside him. do you want to go a little faster?” he wonders, hoping to sound encouraging but not pressuring. if she needs more time to get used to the motions, he’ll understand. many things can be said about billy, but he’s a patient teacher — they’ll reach new milestones at a pace that best suits lucy gray’s needs. “oh, really?” he’s almost forgot about her mama and just how special this horse is to lucy gray. sundance is a friend, of course, but he’s also one of the last living, beloved keepsakes. his chest constricts, thinking about how the last time this horse heard commands in spanish must have been back when mrs. baird was still here. “if you don’t mind me askin’, when your mama disappeared, did she take another horse with her? or did sundance just manage to find his way back home without her?” he doesn’t mean to ruin the atmosphere and quickly adds, “but, well, that explains why he’s so calm and sweet to you. he must see your mama in you. and he listens to me ‘cause the commands sound familiar. i can teach you a few. vamos is basically let’s go. camina means walk. alto or para is how you make ‘im stop, but if you only want ‘im to slow down a bit, you say despacio. izquierda is left. derecha — right. calma is what you say when he’s bein’ a little too rowdy.” he’ll write it down for her later, but he’s certain sundance is smart enough to understand commands in both languages so she’ll be okay even if forgets a word. “it really does. that’s how life works,” he agrees, gently squeezing lucy gray’s hand as they ride through the woods.
“hm, alright, now i got it.” saying after sitting quiet and listening to him, listening and watching all these commands and instructions she’s absorbing. “that does make sense, a lot of sense.” and it’s a lot easier than she expected, quickly finding out just sitting on the horse is harder than knowing how to control him. since he’s right, she needs to sit and feel less tensed, his hand on her hip guiding her to relax more even if it causes her heart to flip flop. that definitely doesn’t help in getting lucy gray to ease into it. “he sure is adorable.” and not because he’s not throwing her off she amusingly thinks to herself, but because he’s so willing to go with the flow and those ears of course. along with his pretty mane of hair. “speakin’ spanish to him helps, cause i bet he likes that since he was my mama’s horse who spoke spanish to him all the time.” a warm smile adorns her face, despite the bumpy conditions, trying to be watchful of wear her feet hits. “right? like everything else, it takes warmin’ up to do.” closing her eyes, enjoying the warm sun on her face after a harsh winter she welcomes it and it comes natural to work as a team like he says. that bein’ perfect advice.
#billysgirllol#billy: im a patient teacher#me: YOU AINT GOT MUCH TIME LEFT TOM#he's only patient with his lil doll :)#pretty birdie gets special treatment
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chapter one: heartache
wc: 2.1k
Five years. Vi and Caitlyn had been together for five years before Caitlyn decided that the exposure from Vi’s life as a musician was “too much.” She said she was already dealing with enough from her mother’s expectations, constant scrutiny, and the pressure to be perfect. Being tied to someone constantly in the spotlight only amplified the chaos she was trying to escape.
But how do you just walk away from five years? Five years of love, growth, and shared memories. They had been through everything together—the awkward phases, the big milestones, the small, intimate moments that made life feel worth it. They were each other’s first in almost everything: first love, first heartbreak, first time believing someone could truly know and accept them for who they were.
Vi couldn’t imagine a future without Caitlyn in it. Caitlyn wasn’t just her girlfriend; she was her rock, her balance, her safe place in a world that could be loud and overwhelming. With her, life made sense. Without her, it felt like the ground had been pulled out from under her feet.
Now, Vi was left standing in the ruins of what they had built together, forced to pick up the shattered pieces and figure out who she was without Caitlyn. Every corner of her life reminded her of what she’d lost—the songs Caitlyn inspired, the jokes they shared together, the faint trace of her perfume still clinging to the throw pillows they’d picked out together.
Relearning herself wasn’t just hard—it felt impossible. How do you start over when so much of your identity has been intertwined with someone else? How do you let go of someone who was your past, your present, and the future you were certain you’d have?
Vi’s days were spent trying to fill the void Caitlyn left behind, and her nights were haunted by the deafening silence where laughter and love used to live.
──────────────────────
“Wake up!” you say, shaking Vi’s body aggressively. “I sure hope you’re not dead or still drunk because we leave in 30 minutes. Pack your shit.” You’re already gathering her clothes scattered across the room, shoving them into her beat-up suitcase. It’s barely holding together, much like its owner.
The thing is, you love Vi—you really do. She’s one of your best friends, and without a doubt, one of the most talented people you’ve ever met. But ever since her breakup with Caitlyn, she’s been a complete wreck. All she does these days is drink and mope around like the world ended.
When she first came to you, heartbroken and teary-eyed, spilling every detail of the split, you were genuinely sad for her. Five years with someone isn’t easy to walk away from. But, selfishly, you couldn’t help but think,“At least we’ll get some killer songs out of this.” Heartbreak always fuels the best music, right? You figured she’d take her pain and pour it into the band.
Instead, she spends 85% of her days drowning herself in booze and picking fights with strangers in dive bars, and the other 15% passed out somewhere she probably shouldn’t be. Honestly, it’s exhausting keeping up with her. At least this time, she actually made it back to her own hotel room instead of crashing on some stranger’s couch—or worse.
“Violet, seriously,” you snap, shaking her again when all you get is a groan. “You’re a grown-ass woman, and I’m not your babysitter. Get up, get dressed, and try not to look like you’ve been on a week-long bender. The van is leaving, and I’m not letting you make us late again.”
She finally stirs, one bloodshot eye cracking open as she glares at you. “What’s your problem?” she mutters, her voice gravelly and tired.
“My problem? My problem is that you’re wasting your talent and dragging us all down with you. I get it—you’re hurt, heartbroken, life sucks. But this?” You gesture around the room, littered with empty bottles and discarded clothes. “This isn’t you, Vi. And it sure as hell isn’t the Vi this band needs right now.”
She sits up slowly, rubbing her temples like even that’s too much effort. “You don’t get it,” she mutters, her voice low. “You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone like Cait.”
You take a deep breath, softening your tone. “No, I don’t. I won’t pretend I do. But I know Caitlyn wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. And I know you’re better than this. So, get your ass up and let’s get to work. You don’t have to fix everything right now, but at least show up—for yourself, and for us.”
She looks at you for a long moment, her face unreadable. For a second, you think she’s going to argue. But instead, she sighs heavily, dragging herself out of bed like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.
“Fine,” she mutters, running a hand through her mess of hair. “I’ll pack. But don’t expect me to look ‘presentable.’”
You snort, tossing her a clean shirt you found buried under a pile of god knows what. “Presentable’s overrated. I’ll settle for functional.”
She gives you a half-smirk, the closest thing to a smile you’ve seen from her in weeks, and starts gathering the rest of her things.
You make your way to the van, your thoughts swirling as you reflect on how much your lives have changed in such a short time. Just a few months ago, you were barely scraping by, playing gigs at any bar that would have you. Your dad thought joining a band was a terrible idea—especially since it meant you wouldn’t be going to college. He never liked Vi, or her family for that matter, constantly calling her a bad influence. He’d been saying that ever since the two of you met in high school, always claiming that Vi was the one putting reckless ideas in your head.
When you told him you were starting a band with her, he completely lost it. You could still hear the echoes of his angry voice, the awful things he said, the way he swore you’d never make it. “You’re throwing your future away for a pipe dream,” he’d yelled. “Mark my words, you’ll regret this.” Those words used to haunt you—sometimes they still do. But right now, you can’t deny the faint sense of satisfaction in knowing that you’ve proven him wrong. Sure, things aren’t perfect, but you’re here. You’re on a tour van, opening for a bigger artist, starting to get noticed by her fans. It’s not the dream yet, but it’s closer than it’s ever been.
Climbing onto the van, you spot Jinx already in her usual spot by the window, earbuds dangling around her neck as she scrolls aimlessly on her phone. She glances up when she hears you, a crooked grin forming on her face.
“Did you get her to wake up?” she asks, scrunching her nose in exaggerated disgust. “I tried, but it reeks in there. Smells like whiskey, sweat, and bad decisions.”
You roll your eyes but can’t help the small laugh that escapes you. “Yeah, she’s up. Barely. I had to practically shake her awake and threaten to leave her behind. She’s packing now, probably still half-asleep.”
Jinx smirks, leaning back in her seat and tossing her phone onto the cushion beside her. “You’re a braver soul than I am. I gave up after two knocks. You know how Vi gets when she’s hungover—like a grumpy bear. Or a bear with a hangover.”
“She’s not a bear,” you say with a sigh, dropping into the seat across from her. “She’s just… going through it. Though, honestly, I wish she’d just move on already.”
Jinx raises an eyebrow, her expression equal parts amused and frustrated. “You’ve been saying that for weeks. When does ‘going through it’ stop being an excuse? She’s dragging herself—and us—down. It’s not like we’re rolling in free passes for her to waste.”
You glance out the window, watching the early morning light streak across the horizon. She’s not wrong. Vi’s breakup with Caitlyn hadn’t just been hard on her—it had been hard on all of you. The drinking, the fights, the inconsistency... It was becoming impossible to ignore.
“Where’s Ekko?” you ask, changing the subject. “Don’t tell me he’s late too.”
Jinx shrugs lazily. “Oh, he forgot something in his room. He’s probably on his way back already. You know him—‘fashionably late’ and all that.”
As if on cue, the hotel doors swing open, and Ekko steps outside with Archie, your ever-enthusiastic manager, trailing close behind. The two are deep in conversation, their hands gesturing wildly as they talk.
“Oh, you girls are already here! Excellent.” Archie’s voice carries before he even reaches the bus. His short, chubby frame and thick british accent somehow manage to command attention wherever he goes. He’s the reason the band even had a shot, the one who saw potential when no one else did.
“I have exciting news,” Archie announces, his grin stretching ear to ear as he climbs aboard. Then, his expression falters. “But… where is Miss Violet? Don’t tell me she’s late again.”
“She’s packing,” you answer, sitting up straighter. “She’ll be out any minute.”
Archie narrows his eyes, clearly unimpressed. “Packing? At this hour? I gave everyone strict instructions to be ready by now.”
“She had a rough night,” you offer, though you feel like a broken record at this point. How many times have you covered for her?
“A rough night?” Archie throws his hands up dramatically. “She’s had a ‘rough night’ every night for the past month! If she’s not careful, she’ll burn herself out before we even get close to making it big.”
You exchange a glance with Jinx, who shrugs as if to say, He’s not wrong.
At that moment, the can door opens again, and Vi steps aboard. She looks like she just rolled out of bed—hair tousled, hoodie wrinkled, and sunglasses covering her undoubtedly bloodshot eyes.
“Morning,” she mutters, flopping into a seat without so much as a glance at Archie.
“Morning?” Archie echoes incredulously. “Miss Violet, this is hardly the professionalism I expect from you. We’re opening for one of the biggest acts of the year, and you’re showing up like you’ve just walked out of a frat house!”
Vi groans, tilting her head back against the seat. “Save it, Archie. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Archie pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath before shaking it off. “Fine. I’ll save my lecture for later because—believe it or not—we’ve got good news. Big news.”
Everyone perks up at that, even Vi, though she does so begrudgingly.
“What kind of news?” you ask, leaning forward with curiosity.
Archie’s grin widens as he claps his hands together. “You’re being added to three more tour dates! One of which is in LA. And, if you can manage to pull yourselves together, there might even be offers for an single on the table.”
The van erupts into excited chatter, a buzz of energy filling the space. Jinx punches the air, Ekko grins from ear to ear, and even you feel a rush of exhilaration. This is what you’ve all been working for—an actual shot at something bigger.
Even Vi, slouched in her seat with her sunglasses still on, cracks a small smile. It doesn’t quite reach her eyes, but it’s there. Maybe this could be the spark she needed—the moment she finally stopped wallowing and started using all that anger and hurt for something productive.
“Quiet down, please,” Archie calls out, waving his hands to settle everyone. “I know you’re all excited, and you should be. But this will only be possible if you show your absolute best in the upcoming concerts. No more sloppiness, no more excuses. This is your chance to prove you’re ready for the big leagues.”
His words hang heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the stakes. The excitement dims just slightly, replaced by determination.
“So,” Archie continues, checking his watch, “settle down, get your heads in the game, and prepare to give it everything you’ve got. We’ll be leaving in a couple of minutes.”
Jinx leans over your seat, her voice low but tinged with excitement. “Three more shows, an album, and LA? Think we’ll survive?”
You chuckle softly, glancing at Vi, who’s staring out the window now, her expression unreadable. “We’ll survive,” you reply. “The question is whether we’ll thrive.”
Jinx snorts. “Speak for yourself. I was born to thrive.”
Despite everything, you feel a flicker of hope. This was it—the break you’d been waiting for. Now all you had to do was rise to the occasion.
──────────────────────
masterlist - chapter two
notes: i love making vi suffer 😔 it’s a character flaw im sorry
#vi x reader#vi x y/n#vi x you#arcane#vi arcane#arcane x female reader#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#lily writes
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where the apple falls
pairing: amnesia, exbf! caleb x reader rating: t wc: 1700+ a/n: based off this post. this will be a series of drabbles. i will also be working on other exbf! caleb verse. that is the trope for him the resonates most with me. after reading his story, i'm soooo excited to write about him. happy to take requests relating to both tropes!
“hmm, jian bing? normally i have to accumulate quite a bit of favors to wake up to this. what’s the occasion?”
a homemade cure to job memory loss, sits on your tongue like a secret. but you swallow it down, tasting every word you can’t admit. it’s only been a week. since then, caleb has seen the physicians once more—three days since returning to your home for a follow-up.
but just those seventy-two hours had felt like distant memory. the first morning had been the most jarring. caleb had walked into the apartment as if he’d only returned from a day at work, not nearly a week in the hospital, though even the small missed him longer. his only moment of hesitation was the brief pause when his eyes caught on the small changes you had made since the breakup.
the furniture remained the same—too much hassle to replace—but you'd taken quiet, deliberate steps to erase him. gone were the photos of shared milestones, absent were his awards and accolades. the tangible pieces of caleb had vanished, leaving only the slowly healing void in your heart.
the physician had given you ample time to prepare your home for his discharge, clear instructions to recreate a familiar space that mirrored the fragments of his memory. but you’d balked at the thought of resurrecting the past. now the remnants of the last four years were still stored away in the recesses of your closet.
selfish, perhaps. misguided, maybe. but a part of you refused to accept the accident—not just the memory loss, but the implausibility of it all. caleb, always composed, prepared for anything? reduced now to a vulnerable man clinging to fractured echoes of what was?
it didn’t sit right with you.
you watched as his gaze drifted over the near-barren walls and mismatched artwork. his jaw tightened, barely perceptibly, lips parting as if testing words that refused to form. his shoulders rose once, twice, then sagged in quiet surrender before he turned to you with a smile so perfectly broken it felt like a carefully crafted illusion.
"still in the middle of some deep cleaning, huh? i appreciate you getting everything ready for me to come back home. why don't I help get it back in order?"
at the check-up, the physician warned you: patience was crucial. recovery couldn’t be rushed without risking setbacks. most cases resolved themselves with time, they assured you.
just be patient.
“i thought some of your favorites would help you remember” you offered instead, glancing over your shoulder quickly before turning your attention back to the stove. “it’s almost done.”
caleb didn’t respond at first as he sat down at the kitchen bar, still dressed in his sleepwear. he couldn’t have been up for more than a few minutes, likely just long enough to take his part of medication before arriving. the others would require a meal to go with them.
“i couldn’t have missed that much,” he said finally, voice laced with casual dismissal. “i don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
it was eerie, how easily he brushed off nearly a year of his life.
you set a cup of coffee down in front of him with a mishandled grimace. “this is serious, caleb. you can’t just report a wrong date and think everyone is going to write it off. ” it was becoming just a bit more than a little frustrating how light he took the situation.
his hand shot out, catching your wrist before you could turn away. his grip was firm but not unkind, his thumb brushing absently over your pulse.
“i am taking it seriously,” he said quietly, his eyes steady on yours. “do you understand how troubling it is to hear you've lost months of time?”
“could have fooled me.” you mumbled under your breath, tugging half-heartedly at his arm.
“what was that?” his voice sharpened slightly. “it doesn’t help when you mutter.”
you exhaled sharply, meeting his gaze. “i said you’re not exactly helping yourself, caleb. It was okay at first to adjust. i know you were in pain, and it was jarring, but—” your voice cracked, the words caught in your throat. you cleared it hastily, averting your eyes. the physicians had warned you to avoid accusations, anything that might exacerbate his confusion or headaches. caleb’s expression tightened as he read the unspoken in your hesitation.
“but?” he pressed. his grip on your arm loosened, though he didn’t let go.
“it doesn’t feel like you’re trying to get better,” you said, wincing as you braced for his reaction.
instead, you felt the soft press of his lips against your temple.
“i don’t even know what ‘better’ looks like,” he murmured. “I’m doing what i was told. resuming routines. beyond that…” his thumb brushed your cheek as he trailed off. “you’ve got your orders too. sure you’re doing your part?”
you shoved at his chest, though there was no real force behind it. “that’s not funny.”
he didn’t laugh, though his eyes glinted with suppressed amusement. “okay okay, i know. it’s just... a lot to process. being told your life isn’t what you thought it was.” he sipped his coffee. “i mean, what could i have possibly missed?”
your gaze dropped to the mug, a relic of the past—the one you’d gifted him when he got his fleet position. “a lot, caleb. a lot.”
“well, they told me to take it one step at a time. i’m still processing it all. still can’t believe the news headlines”
“pretty sure you were told to not overwhelm yourself,” you countered.
he shrugged. “i binged all the new seasons of our sitcoms. i get bored.”
“and nothing triggered even the smallest memory?”
“it might help if you just told me what i’m forgetting.”
you stiffened, jaw tight. “you’re supposed to recall them naturally.”
caleb leaned back, studying you with quiet intensity. “then we just keep going as we were. i have you, and you have me. what else matters?”
“caleb…” your voice faltered, a lump rising in your throat. “that’s not—”
“i’m sorry.” his tone softened as he tugged you closer. “i know this is hard for you too. there are probably things you want to tell me…” his hands steadied you as he guided you onto his lap.
your faces were so close now that you could feel the faint heat radiating from him, a warmth that sent an involuntary shiver down your spine. it struck you as almost cruelly ironic how, in a way, you were both reliving memories—but only you felt the hollow ache of the gaps between them. you could count every one of his dark lashes, each one a delicate frame to the deep gaze fixed on you. and then your eyes betrayed you, flickering downward to caleb’s mouth: light pink, nicely shaped, and far too familiar. you knew, if you gave in and pressed your lips to his, they’d taste soft, warm, and faintly of coffee.
“yeah,” you replied, though your voice was barely more than a breath.
“yeah,” caleb echoed with a faint, lopsided quirk to his lips. “just… give me a bit more time, okay? right now, despite the aches in my body, nothing has ever felt more right. it’s always been like this with you.” his voice softened, becoming something raw and fragile. “i wouldn’t trade this for anything. not even for the memories I’ve lost.”
“that’s not okay, caleb,” you said tersely, the words rising unbidden in your throat. “you can’t just disregard the past—or the future.”
his head tilted slightly as he studied you, something unspoken glimmering in his eyes. for a moment, silence stretched thin between you before, without warning, caleb stood up. you barely had time to react before you were flipped upside down, your world spinning as blood rushed to your head.
“caleb, what are you doing!?” you yelped, hands scrambling to clutch the fabric of his shirt in tight fists.
“just hang on,” he said, voice far too calm for the chaos he’d just unleashed.
he carried you the short distance to the couch with an unsettling ease, his shins pressing against the edge before he lowered you onto the cushions. a pillow fell to the floor in his wake, discarded like an afterthought.
in the shock of it all, you barely registered his hands threading gently through your hair, the sensation grounding you even as your mind reeled. his gaze traced the lines of your body as though committing them to memory, an intensity that made your breath hitch. caleb had always been intense, after all—a force that could bring everything in its path to kneel. that much hadn’t changed. but now, there was something else. a weight behind his actions, a shadow you couldn’t quite name.
he wasn’t holding you down, but his presence blanketed you, toeing the fragile line between comfort and constraint.
when his lips descended, it felt inevitable, like the pull of gravity. a soft, tentative brush at first, before returning with more intensity, more hunger, as if savoring the moment like a man starved. his kiss was familiar in all the ways that made your heart ache, every motion perfectly attuned to what you liked, what you craved.
when Caleb finally pulled away, you instinctively leaned forward, chasing the warmth of his mouth. but he had already shifted, his lips grazing along your jaw, leaving a trail of nips and feather-light kisses in his wake.
it was still caleb. caleb, who always knew exactly how to undo you.
your eyes fluttered open, stealing a glance at him as he kissed the curve of your neck. you weren’t sure what you were looking for—a sign, a clue—but all you saw was caleb. just caleb.
despite it all.
despite your suspicions.
he was okay.
and despite everything, the thought of losing him still felt unbearable.
caleb sighed softly, leaning back to look at you. his hand drifted to your face, a knuckle brushing against your cheek in a gesture so tender it made your chest tighten. you leaned into his touch without thinking.
“i’ll figure it out,” he murmured, his voice low but steady. “i always do.”
and in that moment, as his words settled in the space between you, you couldn’t quite recall why that wasn’t a good thing.
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I don’t usually post fic snippets here (and not on ao3), but this has been sitting in my drafts ever since the mid season finale and originally was meant to be part of something bigger but I never got around to actually building a plot around it so here you have it.
~~~~~~
“I’ll call you when I land,” Eddie says, takes one last look at Buck and turns towards the glass doors.
And just like that, Buck is left standing outside the terminal.
Not for the first time, mind you. Although he supposes, this time is nothing like the first. That first time, he was naïve enough to believe Abby was coming back for him. That she’d take the vacation she needed, see Europe like she’d always wanted, and then return—to him.
He waited, after all, didn’t he? For months.
But no. This time he isn’t naïve enough to think Eddie is coming back for him. Because this isn’t about Buck, is it? It’s about Christopher. It’s about Eddie’s son and the milestones Eddie can’t afford to miss anymore.
And Buck gets that. He really does.
He supposes this whole thing would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if it weren’t for the unprompted realization that he is, in fact, in love with the guy.
To be fair, nothing about these past few weeks was prompted.
From Eddie’s decision to move back to Texas to Buck only finding out about it that day—when he’d barged into his house uninvited.
Whatever, it’s Eddie’s house—it’s not like he’s ever been a guest there.
But no, there was no discussion. No warning. Just Eddie making up his mind and Buck having to go with the flow, like always. Having to support Eddie’s decision because, of course, he understands.
Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have packed up and moved to El Paso with him if Eddie had asked.
It’s not like Buck could’ve been the one to suggest that, now could he.
Hey, Eddie, I’m in love with you and would rather move half way across the country to be with you and Christopher whom I love as my own, than stay in this city with the job I love and all my friends so if you could just see that and not leave me here with nothing more than a stupid promise to call when you land, that’s be great.
Yeah. No. He’s not doing that.
It’s not until he’s back in his Jeep, pulling out his phone to connect to the media console, that he realizes just how long he’d been standing there, staring at those glass doors.
Maddie had texted.
18:48
Hey, are you on your way?
18:57
You still at the airport? Is everything okay?
19:15 1 missed call
19:20
We are saving you a plate but it’s Jee’s bedtime soon
19:30 2 missed calls
19:36
Call me, Evan.
Fuck.
He’d promised Maddie he’d come for dinner.
Buck glances at the time—7:45 PM—tosses his phone onto the passenger seat with a sigh and rubs a hand over his face, fingers dragging through his hair. There’s no point in going now, not with traffic. Not with how he feels, all hollowed-out and useless.
Whatever.
He’s not really hungry anyway.
#911#911 on abc#911 abc#evan buck buckely#eddie diaz#buddie#fic snippet#911 fanfiction#911 fanfic#fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#fanfic writing#i don't know#911 8b#911 season 8 speculation#wip wednesday
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CHILDREN OF BHAAL
I adore the vibe of redeemed durge your sister killed your mind and took your place - it was the greatest gift she ever gave you
#orin the red#baldur's gate 3#bg3 orin#the dark urge#cant stop thinking about orin#myart#durge vaye#still deciding what kind of c section scar to give vaye#went with a vertical scar for this one#the lore for vaye is that he got pretty far into his life as baahls chosen as far as milestones are concerned#became unholy assassin almost finished those plans to take over the world had a kid for sacrifice/back up bhaalspawn purposes ect#& was daddy's perfect little murder baby <3 until the lobotomy ofc#then only with memory loss was there was enough distance for him to actually face how fucked the whole situation#btw Orin did Vaye's top surgery c-section and lobotomy <3#thats his whole medical team right there#when you wake up with no memory all you have is your body for evidence so i really leaned into that for vaye's scars#I gave him vash the stampede level scars lol#he wakes up knows 4 things: that hes been through metaphorical hell and survived that someone did a choppy job on his top surgery#that at one point he decided face + eye tattoos would be his thing and that hes had a child#Im debating whether or not Orin would outright kill the kid or if shed keep the kid around until theyre old enough to face her in a duel#Leaning towards the second#that means while vaye is wondering around faerun that kid is having arts and crafts time with auntie orin! (oh no oh no oh no)
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just yok things for @ahxu-laowen
#not me#not me series#not me the series#yok not me#danyok#first kanaphan#gawin caskey#tuserhidden#arbitrary milestone prompts#rowan gifs#happy pride lmao 🌈#delivering on 'insane gay yok moments' as promised#i tried a lot of new stuff making this and as such i'm horribly anxious about it and also proud at the same time#text is so so scary. agh. i like my lil handcuffs though :)#oh and hey sof. if you see this and think 'oh so they chose that option'#think again! and please hold#i just got too ambitious & don't have enough patience to wait until both are done lmao <3
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WE JUST HIT 3k WHAT DA HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL
thank you guys so so so much for everything omg i am in actual disbelief rn this is not real i do not deserve this i love u guys thank u thank u thank u <3333333
#like actually I’m in shock#never did i think id have an account this big 😭#I’m so happy you guys like my silly stories and ramblings enough to stick around 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#this is so amazing i love you all so much#I’m so happy i have 3k best friends#jess talks#milestone !
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Stick figure skeletons (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Papyrus#Sans#Cutest little lads#I had a good handful of stick figures of them from my 2015/2016 notebook and it really is a cute style#Y'know funny enough now that I think of it lol - Those doodles were also in December!#(I'm tagging these in December still lol hi from the past)#It's that Undertale time of year <3 Apparently I first found it Dec. 17th 2015 hehe#A little late to the party! But not terribly so ♪ And I had managed to avoid spoilers up to that point lol#I do still have some vague memories of watching it for the first time#I watched a Pacifist run first and cried - of course#And then watched a Genocide run soon after and cried even more#I remember being very confused as to what the Fight timing option even was the first time I saw it lol#Since in Pacifist you can go the entire time without even accidentally using it! You can ACT or ITEM instead#It's interesting to think back on such a huge shift in culture on the broadscale#And also a personal milestone :) Something that tipped the scales!#Something that even now I'm grateful for and think of fondly ♥#And it's all still fun to draw! What more could I ask for haha#I think with this super-simple style in particular I like making their designs complement each other#So Papyrus is all stick lines and Sans has thicker bones#Papyrus' eyes are upright and Sans' are laid flat haha#They both have circle heads to start tho! Papyrus just gets a rectangle grafted on for his jaw lol#They're easy to pose together like this too!#It's fun and silly ♪ Just how I like :D
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It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
#tumblr milestones#oh tumblr#PFFT#OMG#that's amazing#XD XD XD#and my original tumblr is about a year older than that i think?#ok it's 10 months older#close enough#XD#so in february i'll have been on tumblr for 13 years all told#O_O#...wow#that's... sure a thing we all know now#XDDDD
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good morning and happy tuesday friendz ! i hope today is wonderful for you all !! sending you all my best wishes and good energy for the day ahead !!! (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ෆ
#will be stuck at home the next few days so i’m hoping if things keep tame enough then i shall lock in for writing !!!!#all prepped just in case and ready to hunker down with the babies (it’s not expected to hit my area too hard luckily)#anywho !!!!#i hit a lil milestone on this blog and i think id like to do an event#i’m not sure what i’ll do yet but if i can get enough writing done the next few days then ill try to come up with something fun :3#thank you all for being here and always treating me so kindly <3#you’re all so sweet :( !#okay lemme go before i get too soggy#stay safe !!!!!!!! ily !!!!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh
#stooooop#i know i have been old enough to have kids for a while but 😵💫#im always behind on all the milestones in life tho but it never stood out before bc people always thought i was 17#literally from when i was 13 until very recently people always guessed i was like 16-19#which was great bc i am an autistic late bloomer who lives w my parents and sucks at being an adult#so giving off the vibe and appearance of being a teenager was fine#but now i look like an adult#🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️#yet i am not good enough at being one for these questions and assumptions 😭#i hate it hereee#anyway weird old guy at the store started telling dumb blonde jokes then asked me if i had kids#never in my life have i been asked that#late twenties fr the worst age bc u still feel young but start getting treated old and also u don't have ur shit and life together yet#but everyone thinks you do or should by now#alas#irl i'm 27 what am i a child bride moment#not that having kids is for old people#but im not even good at being responsible for myself yet let alone an entire baby#i do want kids but im not ready for that yet#also never been in love 🫠#or even seriously dated anyone ever#not that it's a requirement#in fact im planning to adopt esp if i dont get married but still#anyway i do very much want kids im just not in that place yet#and didnt feel that behind in life about it bc nobody ever asked me that before#thsi better not be like how everyone asks you as soon as they meet u about ur job or school i dont need to be fielding this forever
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it would be p silly of me 2 do a dtiys I think
update: poll
#noodle talks#not art#idkkk we reached 300 recently (which is fucking crazy . hello ) and ive been think abt something like that for a while#is that enough for a milestone ?? i think so#either that or wait an eternity for smth like 500 which will literally never happen#i might just use a piece that ive already posted because it works really well 4 it plus idk what I would make for this#specifically also motivation left me for art again (FUCK)#but idk#i might do an interest poll or something ??#lmk i guess ough im so indecisive
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13th Tumblr Anniversary Holy Crap. So if I had a child at 22 years old, they'd be a teenager??
#13 year tumblrversary#tumblr milestone#crazy to think that I became terminally online right at 20 years old and then made this blog at 22 years old#and just never left the internet#though I don't post here as frequently as I used to#This is still so special like my blog is old enough to be a magical girl
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can't believe you people not only start following me but CONTINUE to follow me
#like it's kinda wild like these folks in my phone that have never met me think my little posts are neat enough that they want to see them#thank you friends <3#I hit a big follower milestone recently so just thinking about that I guess#also I'd like to do something for the milestone but?? I'm so tired. and idk what to do. so I probably won't do anything.#mine#personal
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#really does so being fun to your brain to get affirmations and compliments from strangers or friends (ie people i see frequently) more than#the family i live with. like mixed with rsd wich makes evrey criticism hold ten times the weight of a compliment means when i do get i compl#compliment from the family i live with it sounds disingenuous#like i know ill get a lecture or a passive aggressive comment so that compliment doesnt count. or i had to fish for it so it doesnt count#it makes me feel like im barely tolerable to the people i live with who see me the most in my tuest self the only reason my friends or aqu#or acquaintances dont feel that way is cuz they havent been around me enogh and eventually ill exhaist all goodwill and love that people hav#have for me until they only associate with me because of obligation. it also makes me prone to cry when someone gives me a compliment and it#it makes me scared to share this with my family becasue i feel like theyll ruin it. i tell my husband that the pediatrician says the kids a#are growing qell amd hitting theyre milestones and he sqys that she always says that and to everyone and it cheapens the compliment#people who dont live with me think im intelligent amd competant and funny and a joy to know but i dont get that fweling from my family and i#i know part of it is because of my shit brain that weights criticisms so much more strongly but a part of it is the things they say amd more#more importantly the things they dont it feels so rar that i get a compliment of any kind and i dont know if its my stupid depressed brain#making me perceive this or if its true if its a mix or if i developed this thought process because i was taught this#worst part is i dont feel shit enough to cry and get that emotional release#tldr eventually evreyone hates me and one day my kids will too hahahahahaha i physically feel pain rn lol
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not to be sad on main but I miss my mom
#especially our phone calls#she always had some wry take on something that found a way to make me laugh#grief tag#may as well toss that in there#but yeah i just really wish i could talk with her right now#I'd feel a lot less crazy if i could just call her and joke about how weird my life is right now and beg for some advice#even if realistically I'd take about 23% of it and ignore the rest to her ire#I'd kill to hear her tell me that it'll be fine. just one more time wouldn’t be enough but I would still take that in a heartbeat#i just had my 25th birthday recently and it felt so empty to experience a milestone without her#i know it's not that big but it got me thinking about bigger milestones#and it all snowballed from there#my dad and i have also been having trouble since earlier this year for reasons relating to her passing which has thrown a wrench into things#i wish i could call my mom to ask her how she would really feel about it. or just bitch about the situation for a while.#as it is it feels like my only two options are to grin and bear it at a detriment to myself or to speak my mind and hurt the relationship#and while she may not have a simple answer ready for me she would still listen to me and emphasize with my point of view#while also pointing out when I've gone way off base and have misunderstood the situation#idk um. if you got this far thanks for reading my ramblings ig?#mumblings
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