#but yeah i just really wish i could talk with her right now

[meganwhalenturner]

So, last November I got to try my hand at Alchemy

Maddalena Rumor, in the Classics Department of Case Western Reserve University came to have dinner with us and mentioned she'd just successfully turned silver gold.

She had an alchemical recipe from a 7th century BCE cuneiform tablet from the library of Ashurbanipol. She'd been working with Rekha Srinivasan, from the Chemistry Department to see if they could translate the cuneiform, identify the substances mentioned, and then try the recipe to see if it worked.

They traveled to the British Museum to examine the tablet up close. By studying the partial strokes along the edges, Maddalena could make some educated guesses about missing words. Rekha, in turn, could use the descriptions of the substances to make some guesses about what they might be. Then they could start testing their best guesses with experiments.

This is complicated by the tendency of alchemical texts to use code words or inside jokes to describe materials or techniques. Something like me making a recipe that calls for 2 Legs and 1 Arm of Policeman and my friends all knowing it means 2.5 ingots of Copper.

I know the word alchemy comes from the Arabic al-kimia and that it eventually developed into chemistry, but I've always associated it with the worst of the Dark Ages in Europe--charlatans or wannabe magicians in smoke-filled, poorly lit cellars full of of mummified animals and just generally gross stuff that is not my jam.

I'm wondering now if that's because medieval alchemists were reading a lot of things literally that weren't meant to be taken that way. There's a reference in one of Maddalena's article's to a rare case where "human excrement" called for in a recipe is revealed to actually mean "garlic." I can see a lot of ancient alchemists laughing up their sleeves.

I had just learned during a trip to Naples the previous summer that the alchemy of Renaissance philosophers like Pico Della Mirandola was very different from the stuff in the basements of Prague. Instead of dreckapotheke, they were translating texts from the Ancients Greeks, texts that were perhaps based on the very tablets from the 7th Century BCE that Maddalena was studying. I promptly begged to observe her next experiment.

She very graciously said yes, so I went down to a lab at Case and I wish I had taken better notes, but I did not, so what I've got is a bunch of pictures, and I'll have to go back and badger Maddalena for details.

These are the ingredients for the next round of testing.

They will be mixed into a solution in the flask on the right and then heated on a burner.

Then silver tablets will be dipped into the solution:

And turn gold!

Not *into* gold. That was not the plan. Hope you aren't disappointed.

If you thought the object of alchemy in those dark basements in Prague was turn to lead into gold, yeah me, too. And maybe it was, but the alchemy of the ancient Near East seems to have been more clear that transmutation wasn't on offer. After reading some of Maddalena's articles, I now know there were four main practices of alchemy back in the day: coloring silver gold, making a silver alloy that still looked like silver, coloring glass to look like precious stones, and dying wool purple without using those expensive snail shells from Tyre.

I talked about alchemy a lot (really, a lot, everyone was very patient) at a recent writing retreat. Erin Bow called it the Science of Knock Offs.

There are multiple ancient sources that say that this "holy and divine art" (hē hiera kai theia technē) was taught to mankind by fallen angels who were sharing the secrets of heaven. I know it seems ridiculous that an all knowing divine being is going to focus on the Secret Science of Knock Offs, but the more I I think about it, the more I can see it.

ARMUMAHEL: We will share with you the great mysteries of heaven!

MANKIND: . . .

ARMUMAHEL: I can save you some money on purple dye.

MANKIND: YAY!

SAMYAZA: So how did the secret sharing go today, Armumahel? Did they ask about the language of birds? The control over monsters of the deep?

ARMUMAHEL: I told'em how to make glass marbles look like sapphires.

SAMYAZA: You do know Enoch is writing all this down. His book is going to be stuck in the apocrypha and we're going to be laughing stocks.

ARMUMAHEL: I promised to tell them tomorrow how to turn silver gold.

SAMYAZA: Ah! Transmutation of matter! That's a good one!

ARMUMAHEL: No, not transmutation. They just want the silver bowls on the alter to be yellow and shiny.

SAMYAZA: . . .

My shiny yellow tablet. : )

[areolni]

not sure how generations works (ive never played it [YET] yeah yeah fake fan whatever) but i keep thinking of @kiwi-the-bird-and-fruit 's lansoni generation au, amy and lancelot specifically.

they've written the conversations between sonic and amy/lance, but what happens when amy and lancelot have a conversation with each other?

-

There she was, the doppelganger of his dear mother. Sir Lancelot always found it hard to rip his eyes away from the pink hedgehog whenever she came into view. Everything about Amy Rose was exactly like his mother's asides appearance – her wide smile that bore a certain softness, her cheerful tone filled with energy and wisdom, and the confident yet elegant gait whenever she strode. A pang in his chest told him that it would be wise to trust her. If she was indeed anything like Lady Nimue, he hoped that he could confide in her.

Was this really his best choice?

No, there wasn't time for contemplation or doubt. Sonic would return at any moment. He had to solve this predicament before it worsened. Amy is right there. Just… do it.

"My lady?"

"Uwaagh…! You scared me! Hi, Shad…- Ooo…"

Amy gave a look of surprise, fluttering her eyes as she did so. Before her stood in mirrored copy of Shadow, dressed with armor from head to toe. It wasn't the first time she has seen Lancelot, but finally meeting him face-to-face was quite a feat.

"You're… Sir Lancelot, right?"

"Indeed. My apologies for startling you, Amy Rose."

"Oh, don't worry about it. What brings you here?"

"I…" Words died in his throat. It was quite nerve-wracking to talk to someone who appeared like your mother, not to mention to also ask for help. Lancelot was a knight who held his head up with pride; he wasn't one to ask for help. "I require assistance."

"Oh!" Amy only grew more surprised by the second. First, Lancelot approached her, and now he was asking for help? Just as she was about to ask, her eyes caught the sight of Lancelot's lips subtly pressing into a thin line. That was when she knew where this was going. "It's about Sonic, isn't it?"

"Ah… Yes indeed." Of course, Amy would have known. His mother was smart and thus, so would she. It was pointless to dilly dally when the subject was already known.

"Sir Sonic… He has deliberately been avoiding me. I am afraid that I might have done something to upset him."

"Oh… Oh, no no no. I'm sure you did nothing wrong! It's just… You know Sonic. Running is what he does best."

"My apologies, I don't quite understand. How does this correlate to the matter at hand?"

"Well… He just doesn't want to think of the inevitable."

The inevitable. The inevitable of returning to Camelot once more. The inevitable of leaving Sonic once more. Neither Lancelot nor Sonic wished to think about it, but it was the truth.

"… Does my presence truly hurt him greatly?"

"I… Well… I think it's just a harsh reminder to him. But trust me when I say he's good at heart! I'm sure you know that."

"Very much so. Regardless…" Lancelot found himself drifting away, his gaze now staring at the white space ahead of him. "My heart aches. I wish to alleviate the pain, but he refuses to give me a chance. So terribly adamant on saving the world…"

"Oh, Lancelot… I'm sure he thinks it's a good way to distract himself, but we all know that it's only going to make things worse for him. He'll come around eventually. I'll talk to him. Don't you worry, okay?"

The knight nodded, albeit slow and reluctant. "Thank you, my lady."

" 'Amy' is just fine, hehe."

She could get used to Lancelot, for sure.

[rascalentertainments]

Wish Granted 🌟👩🏾🎶 (Wish Reimagined)

Chapter 13: Poor Unfortunate Souls 👸🍪🐂

Chapter 12

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Rosas is bustling more than ever as the citizens prepared for the ceremony. On one hand, everyone being distracted allowed Asha to hide in plain sight. On the other, it was risky that someone could recognize her out of the crowd. Asha realized having the teens around as a group wasn't such a bad thing after all, as they kept eyes off her and Star.

Both Dario and Hal were rambling on about all the wonderful things Rosas had to offer, while Gabo and Simon sort of acted as her personal bodyguards. Though Gabo didn't look all that intimidating holding a young goat. 😅

"And this is where the band comes through during the welcoming song!" Dario explained as he pointed in front of the statues of the royals.

"This is where some of our best artists create portraits of our rulers!" Hal gestured to a small corner where a group of painters were already at work on making several artworks in honor of tonight.

"Oh and can't forget Bazeema's family flower shop over there!" Dario excitedly pointed to a small shop filled to the brim with vast colors of roses. "They have the best flowers, as long as its only roses. King's orders."

"The amount of narcissism in this place is disturbing..." Asha commented, walking past the statues.

"Come on, its not all bad! At least if you ignore the royals stealing our wishes part." Hal said, trying to find the upside to this.

"Allegedly." Dahlia corrected her. She clearly was still standing her ground on the royals. "I'm still going to need proof about all this."

Mouse!Star poked his head out. "Well, the king kind of stabbed me. Is that enough?"

"Look, what I'm saying is that unless I see them doing something so horrible that's its impossible to deny it, I'm not buying it." Dahlia continued as she kept a close eye on both Asha and Star.

"They threw Flazino in a dungeon for pete's sake! Doesn't it bother you that he's missing suddenly?" Asha argued. "There's seriously proof all around you with the people themselves. Do they look happy to you?"

Dahlia looked at the few painters still working, and noticed that a few of them were looking a bit drowsy. One of them had nearly fallen asleep as she was painting and had to wake herself backup. She oddly reminded her a lot of Simon...

But then, lots people get tired during the day from working or other logical reasons, it couldn't possibly be a conspiracy!

"Okay, they do look a little tired, but that's not a reason to think there's something evil going on!" Dahlia stood her ground. "Besides, I'm sure Flazino is fine. Maybe he just went on a secret errand for the royals."

Asha groaned. "This is getting us nowhere. Just forget it." She walked away from the baker and continued onwards.

"And here I thought you cared about your boyfriend." Gabo said in pretend disappointment as he shook his head at Dahlia.

"Of course I care about-" she slightly faltered when she realized what the annoying pipsqueak had said. "He's not my boyfriend! Who even said I even like him that way?" she couldn't even look them in the eye.

"Well, you do talk about him a lot." Hal pointed out as she pulled a set of chalk out from a box and showed it to Asha. "Whenever I'm just passing by, you're usually all 'Flazino' this and 'Flazino' that. Ha, you talk about him even more than the king!"

"All right, it was wasn't that much... " Dahlia grumbled, as she didn't really like being called out.

"And you also swoon over him a lot when he's not looking!" Dario added as he carefully walked on the rim of the water fountain.

"Yes, there's definitely lots of swooning." Bazeema confirmed.

Simon had accidentally fallen asleep after he took a break to sit down, but even he was conscious enough to respond with a yawn, "Yeah, it's true."

That was enough embarrassing Dahlia for today. "Look, none of that is important-or true-right now. What can I do to convince any of you that this is all crazy?"

As the rest of the group was talking Valentino was walking behind Gabo when his ear perked up. He heard a growling sound and assumed it was his own stomach. The goat looked around the sea of people.

Everything looked normal, expect for the African lynx stretched out on a nearby windowsill. He was covered by the large shadow of the awning above him, with only his green eyes and sinister grin shining through.

This made Valentino panic and start bleating like crazy, "MAAAH! MAAAH! MaaaAAAaaaAAAA!" he jumped up and down trying to get their attention.

Asha was too far away to hear, but Bazeema took notice immediately. "What's wrong, little guy?"

Valentino stomped his hooves and pointed over to the windowsill, only now it had a small vase of roses on it. His jaw dropped at how quickly the feline had moved.

"Did you want to see the flowers that badly, or is something else?" Bazeema pondered. Something told her it wasn't just random.

"Or maybe he's just hungry for some roses!" Dario suddenly popped in. "I don't recommend eating the thorns though..."

Valentino gave him the same "are you an idiot?" look he gave Star back in chapter 3.

Dahlia glanced over her shoulder and for a brief moment she thought she saw a slinky cat's tail turn a corner towards her bakery. While Rosas had no shortage of animals or pets roaming around, there was only one pet that was allowed to do as a he pleased.

"I...I just remembered something, I left my spinach puffs in the oven, I better go get them," she said quickly and slowly backed away from the group.

"Oh, I can help with that!" Safi volunteered as wiped his nose with his sleeve.

Dahlia flinched. "Nononono, that's okay!" she exclaimed. "I'm not totally helpless..." she slightly gestured to her crutch. "You guys keep going and I'll just catch up. Besides, the last time you handled the food you sneezed on the Magnifico cookies I baked."

With that, she turned and walked away.

"That was one time, Dahlia! One! Time!" Safi said defensively, then let out a loud sneeze.

Gabo patted Safi on the shoulder. "Don't feel bad. She still mad that I stepped on her cookies a while back. In my defense, it was an act of rebellion." He smiled as if it was a good memory.

Hal waved them all off. "Don't worry about Dahlia. She'll come around, I think she just needs some time to think."

"I wish she had the same optimism like you or Star. We could really use that right now." Asha responded.

Both Hal and Star said in unison. "Thank you!"

"Now come on, while we wait for her, let's continue the real tour!" Hal cheerfully replied as she dragged Asha to another both to look at other art supplies.

She noticed that Asha had an interest in all the artistic items and wanted to show her all the variations of paints, pencils and chalk on the table.

Soon the screen fades to a montage of the teens having fun in the city showing Asha the things they found to enjoy in Rosas.

Dario showed how fun the puppet show could be when its not part if the "Welcome to Rosas" song.

Hal showed her musical skills with a nearby guitar. Thankfully she could actually play. 😅

Simon briefly told the others how his father inspired him to become a knight himself and admired the various kinds of shields the blacksmith made for the soldiers.

Gabo playfully stabbed one of the empty suits of armor to show how well he could handle his father in battle. Everyone took a step back at the sight, but Hal appreciated his enthusiasm.

Both Safi and Bazeema showed their love of animals (Safi leaned more towards chickens, but he was trying) by visiting the petting zoo. Valentino really loved that one as he ended up playing with some of the sheep in the pens.

Asha laughed as her little furry friend was having fun, and she realized that she was doing something that she thought would never happen: She was having fun in Rosas.

Lastly, Hal convinces Asha to show her art skills by buying the chalk from earlier. Asha soon created a mural of Magnifico that looked exactly like him, only more friendly instead of evil. The people nearby looked at it in awe.

Star could see the pure joy on Asha's face as she laughed. Seeing her having fun always made him smile, but it was a different smile than usual. He was slowly feeling something different lately when it came to Asha.

He always had a love for Earth and the people on it, and it brought him joy to see them happy.

But lately he was feeling a different kind of love. Something stronger that he felt for Asha more than he did for Earth. Something that made him want to stay forever.

After the montage ends, the sun is seen slightly going down, showing they had been out all morning. The group seemed more comfortable with each other than they did in previous chapters. They all were incredibly different from each other, but they ended up having fun as if they'd always been friends.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you guys aren't half bad!" Gabo admitted he bit into an apple he "borrowed" from a fruit stand.

"And I can't believe my allergies haven't acted up all this time!" Safi realized and was relieved to finally be out in public without concerning himself with his sneezing problem.

"Yeah, even Bazeema's more outgoing than I thought!" Hal laughed. She looked for Bazeema but didn't see her in the group suddenly. "Wait, where'd she go?"

The others looked around but didn't see her anywhere.

"How does she do that?" said Dario, who was both impressed and scared. "Bazeema! If you're nearby, say 🎶Heigh Ho🎶!" He shouted in case she couldn't hear him. He got a few strange looks.

Simon staggered up and shake off his drowsiness. "I'll find her, just give me a minute. She couldn't have gotten far."

"I hope she's okay..." Safi whimpered as he wrung his hat in his hands with worry. "AAAAACHOOO!" He sneezed into his hat. "Oh no, not again..."

Asha couldn't help but laugh (which she's been doing a lot of lately) the teens were certainly a lot to handle, but they had their own way of having fun.

Mouse!Star poked out from under the hood with cheeky smile. "Looks like your finally making friends! I knew you had it in you. You just needed to bring out your fun side!"

Asha raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean? I'm not exactly unpredictable as you are." She noted as she folded her arms.

Star chuckled. "I can tell you wanna have fun yourself, but you keep holding back. Who's the one that came with up the idea of bringing those knights to life when we were escaping? Or got excited over those Earth magic things that I had no idea about? And you finally made some friends to talk about all that stuff with! That wasn't me, Asha. That was you."

Asha thought about it. She never really made friends in the Hamlet because she had trouble trusting anyone long term outside her family or Flazino. The seven teens could be loud and slightly annoying, but it was clear their hearts were in the right place, even if they didn't fully believe her.

Could she actually be making friends? Even with the stubbornness of Dahlia or Gabo's desire for anarchy or Dario being.... Dario? It seemed strange, but she was having fun with a group again.

"I'm sure you had lots of friends back home too, right?" Asha laughed. She imagined Star being the center of attention and chatting all the time with the other star nomads. "Had to be lots of fun getting into trouble with them."

She quickly noticed that Mouse!Star's tiny expression changed. He wasn't laughing at all. In fact he looked rather uncomfortable at the mention of his life before coming to Earth.

"I...rather not talk about that." His voice sounded slightly depressed and he looked away from the girl.

Asha had seen the star act like this before. When she mentioned about Star having freedom in the sky, he mentioned that he was actually alone and preferred Rosas over it. It seemed impossible for him to be such since there are countless stars in the sky, yet he never seemed to like talking about his own home.

"Star, you know...you can talk to me about anything, right? We're friends too, aren't we?" Asha gently brushed her finger underneath his furry chin to comfort him. She couldn't exactly hold his hand (or paw) in that form.

The star looked up at her, and said, "Well....you ain't never had a friend like me." he gave her a small smile.

But she could tell he was having a hard time deciding if he wanted to tell her what's upsetting him. As if she could feel something uneasy in him.

However, that would have to wait for a later chapter...

"There she is! We've got the traitor!" A voice boomed from far away. Asha turned and saw a group of guards came charging for them.

How did they know? How did they know?!

Simon stepped in front of the guards. "Guys, wait, wait. I can explain-"

"Quiet, Simon! You're not going anywhere either." One if the guards gruffed at him and pointed his spear at the boy. Simon was surprised he was even being treated like this, but he didn't argue. He simply stepped back with the other teens shielding Asha.

Valentino scrambled back and hid behind Asha, now scared to move from her side.

Asha could slowly feel the fear in her building up again. She couldn't figure out why or how Magnifico knew they were back. Had they lost so much track of time that he was able to find them while distracted?

Star wanted to help Asha, but with too many people around, he could put everyone in more danger by exposing himself to the citizens. He saw Amaya emerge from the guards and his fear started to turn to anger.

"At last, you've finally decided to return to us." she spoke in a firm tone and gestured to the teens surrounding her. "And I see you're not alone this time. You've managed to trick even more people under your spell. Trying to grow yourself an army to attack us?"

"Your highness, I think we can just talk about-" Hal started only for the queen to swiftly raise her hand to silence her.

"No need for excuses." She said coldly. "It would seem that we've had several traitors under our noses the entire time. This simply cannot continue."

The rest of teens looked surprised. The queen wasn't even going to listen? It was looking like Asha waa right after all...

Gabo pulled out his dagger, making a couple the guards aim their spears at him now. "We ain't scared of you! Well, maybe Safi is, but aside from him, we ain't scared of you! I knew you guys were evil this whole time!"

Amaya laughed at his pathetic excuse for bravery. "Oh please, spare your theatrics. We all know who the real villain is here. But luckily for me, someone was brave enough to come forward and bring you to justice."

Asha noticed that two of the teens were still missing. "Oh no..." she whispered in horror.

Safi seemed like he caught on. "You don't mean that...there's no way that Bazeema would do this!" for the first time he finally spoke up without sneezing.

"I'm actually right here." Bazeema whispered as she popped up from behind Safi as if by magic. She actually managed to spook the guards.

"Would you stop doing that?" Gabo grunted, grabbing his chest. "You're gonna give some of us a heart attack! Shy girls... Oy..."

From behind Amaya, someone else stepped forward. Someone with a familiar crutch: Dahlia.

"I'm sorry, Asha. I just want to protect the people I love too." the baker said, with a hint regret in her voice. She hoped that Asha would understand and it wouldn't result the kingdom's destruction. "We can help you too."

Asha didn't answer back, but her eyes were filled anger towards her former friend. This was why she didn't trust others.

"I thought it was always the quiet ones you had to look out for." Dario glanced at Bazeema hiding behind Safi. "No offense, Zee." he sheepishly replied.

"None taken." the shy girl whispered.

Amaya stepped forward. "So what will it be, my dears? Hand over the traitor, or join her as accomplices?" Her tone shifted to make clear the of the consequences.

Upon on the queen's shoulder, the lynx could see Mouse!Star poking out from the inside of Asha's hood. He was ready to pounce as soon as his master gave the signal.

The air grew tense as everyone waited for an answer.

Asha looked around, all eyes on her now. The people looked scared. They had no idea what was coming, nor the influence they were under. To them, she was the threat.

She heard a noise from Gabo. "Psst. When I make the signal, you run with the rest of the guys."

Neither Asha or Star knew what he was planning to do, but went along.

"All right, you asked for it!" Gabo stomped over to one of the guards and put up his fists, looking ready for a fight. "COME ON, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!" His voice was so high and raspy that he sounded like an angry duck.

At first Asha wanted to hold Gabo back, but then quickly realized that this was the distraction. She let a small smile show before she quickly ran off, with Valentino right behind her.

"I like your confidence and all, buddy," Hal commented. "But, uh, I'm pretty sure that even you can't beat all these guys." She looked on at the guards, beginning to inch closer.

"Your highness, please show...." Safi started, but then felt a twitch in his nose. "show....AAAAACHOOO!!" he sneezed so hard that he nearly fell over.

"For goodness sake, cover your mouth." Amaya scoffed. "We don't need a plague to break out."

Sabor noticed Asha suddenly was gone. He looked over the teens and saw her getting further away.

"RRRAWRRR!!" Sabor roared as his fur bristled.

Amaya was concerned something was bothering her sweet pet when she realized he was warning her. The queen quickly noticed Asha had vanished.

"The girl is getting away!" She clenched her fist. Obviously these other bothersome teens were covering for her and the star. How many more traitors were running around this place?!

Sari scrambled to his feet and ran after Asha in fear and Bazeema quietly followed. Simon jerked himself awake and grabbed Gabo, carrying him under his large arm. "Thanks, for a second there, I thought I was going to the dungeon!" the grumpy teen said, relived.

"You four, go after Asha. The rest of you take these remaining traitors away. They'll answer to the king for their crimes." Amaya ordered without hesitation.

The guards split into two groups and did as instructed. The remaining ones closed in on the remaining teens.

"They're not going to get hurt, right?" Dahlia asked, earnestly. "You promised you wouldn't treat them like criminals."

Amaya smiled at the poor trusting girl. "Of course, dear. I just need to use a little force to remind them who's in charge here. Everything will be taken care of before the ceremony."

The queen would prefer that the star is captured in secret, but things were getting rather complicated and more people were getting involved. Perhaps more drastic measures must be made...

While the queen was talking with Dahlia, Hal and Dario attempted to slip away, but the dopey teen had an idea to stop the other guards from getting Asha.

Dario jumped in front of the guards path. "Hey there, gentlemen! You want to see a trick? I've been working on it all week!" He took five colored balls out his pocket and started to juggle them like a circus performer.

The guards ran passed him as if he wasn't even there, kicking up a cloud of dust. "Come on, I barely got started!" Dario shouted to them, disappointed.

"You can sulk later, we gotta go!" Hal told him as she raced behind the guards. Dario soon followed after.

As the guards started to get closer to the rest of the group, an idea sparked into Asha's head. "Star, I know its risky, but can you-"

As if reading her mind, Mouse!Star grinned. "Go for it!"

Asha turned to face the guards, let Star crawl into her hand and swiftly tossed him forward. Before he landed on the ground, a blinding flash appeared and in place of the yellow mouse, the star had become a large grinning bull. And he was CHARGING TOWARDS THEM.

(Fun fact, Disney made a Ferdinand short in 1938, they own two versions of the character now! 😆)

The guards screamed and scrambled over each other trying to get away from him, only for a couple of them to get bucked clear back where they came from. Dario and Hal jumped out of their way just in time, and could see the poor guards soaring over their heads.

When the rest of the guards were far away enough, Bull!Star skid to a halt. "Ha! That's right, you mess with the bull, you get the-gasp-" His attention turned towards a pot of flowers sitting on a nearby windowsill. "Are those daisies?" He trotted over and took a big sniff of them.

He hadn't been able to take much more of the beauty of Earth for a little while and got distracted.

"STAR, STAY FOCUSED, WE GOTTA GO!" Asha's voice echoed to him as the others started to get farther away.

Star was shocked back to reality. "Right, right. Sorry!" He ran back towards Asha and the others, with Hal and Dario finally catching up.

That bought them some time, but Simon looked over his shoulder and saw a new batch of guards-now even bigger looking-coming for them. One of them was his own father.

"We can't keep running forever!" Simon told them, now he was beginning to get tired himself. He normally didn't run this long outside of knight training. "We have to find a place to hide and fast. This whole place like a maze!"

"You all are not going to fit inside my hideout. Especially not Simon." Gabo warned them. Asha and Star seemed to be his exceptions to staying there.

"I'm pretty sure they've raided your place now thanks to Dahlia." said Asha, still bitterly reminded of her betrayal.

Gabo's eyes widened in horror. "THEY'RE GONNA TELL MY MOM ABOUT IT, AREN'T THEY?! She's gonna kill me!" One of the rare times he remembered he's only fifteen years old.

Dario attempted to reassure him. "Nah, I think the king will kill you first before she can even be mad!"

"SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!" Gabo shouted back, hitting him in the arm.

Bazeema looked nervous, but she had an idea. "Um, I have a place we could-"

"Wanna try just skipping town?" Hal suggested as they came across a two way path. "If star can move fast enough like he did before-"

"He nearly destroyed half the city yesterday." Asha cut her off as she signaled them towards the left route.

"I said I was sorry!" Star defended himself. He was a bit slower since he in a rather large form and the path was getting narrow.

"Don't be, that was glorious!" Gabo laughed, reminiscing about that day of terror.

Eventually, they turned a corner down the alley and were met with a stone wall.

"Oh great! The biggest cliché that could ever happen, A dead end!" Gabo exclaimed as he kicked a rock that hit the wall.

"I'm too young to go to jail, man!" Dario panicked, pulling on the ends of his hat in fear.

"I knew this was going to end bad- AAACHOO! AAACHOO! AACHOO!" Safi sneezed uncontrollably.

The impact budged the wall slightly. Gabo didn't notice, but Valentino did and walked over to it. While the others were arguing, Bazeema noticed him getting curious and followed him.

Valentino followed the scent on the ground all the way to the wall. There were several planks of mahogany wood in front of it. The scent was coming from behind the wood, so the goat tried to move the wood himself, but it was too heavy.

(Yes, I had to change the literal ass scene, who even approved of that-)

Bazeema realized he found her secret entrance. Now they could escape easily! "Good boy, Valentino! You just saved us!" She praised him as he patted his head.

"Maaaa!" He replied, his tail wagging happily.

The shy girl turned to her arguing friends to tell them the good news, "Asha, your friend found my-"

"I'm telling you, I can just take my dagger and-" Gabo began to pull out his weapon.

"Gabo, for the last time. You're not stabbing anyone!" Asha's scolded him.

Bazeema tried again. "Um....its okay, really. Valentino found-"

"I could throw my balls at them! They didn't even stick around to watch my juggling trick." Dario chimed in.

"Oooh, you're doing your magic trick again?" Bull!Star perked up.

"Now's not the time, fellas..." Hal attempted to get them to focus again.

Clearly they weren't getting anywhere and for the first time in her life, Bazeema was getting frustrated. Everyone could be caught at any moment, and they were all busy arguing (or sneezing in Safi's case). So she did something she thought she would never do...

"PLEASE BE QUIET AND LISTEN!" she shouted. Yes, actually shouting!

That finally caught everyone's attention and silenced them.

Bazeema immediately coveted her mouth and returned to her softer voice. "Valentino found another way out. Its behind this." she gestured to the blockage. "But I can't move it."

Asha could hear the sound of horses approaching, followed by a man shouting orders. "We need to hurry. Simon, can you break that down?"

Simon wondered why the literal bull couldn't do it, but there was no time.

Bazeema took Valentino away as Simon stomped over to the wood. He cracked his knuckles and raised his fists over his head. "Better stand back, I'm gonna wreck it!" He warned them.

With a loud grunt, he smashed the area with ease. Simon gestured for everyone to get inside, quick.

Star transformed back to his human form and used his glow to light the way in.

As the teens made their way inside one by one, Bazeema gingerly apologized to Asha. "I'm sorry I yelled."

Asha smiled. "Don't be. You found your voice after all."

Bazeema returned the smile and was the last to enter the hole.

Gabo's voice echoed from inside. "By the way, how are we going to cover our tracks?"

"Oh, I got it!" Star replied.

A small wave of golden dust swirled around the fallen debris and everything put itself back into place, right before the guards passed by.

Back in the heart of the city, some of the people were murmuring amongst each other. They were in shock of not just one, but several traitors were right under their noses. The Queen calmed everyone down with a soothing spell. Soon, they were back under control and carried on about their business as if nothing happened.

Dahlia did feel a bit bad about scaring everyone, but at least it was only temporary. Everyone would be at ease again. Sure, she ousted the traitor, but made it clear to the queen that she didn't want Asha's hurt. If she could see Magnifico really was a generous man, Dahlia knew she could help both sides.

Amaya gave Dahlia an assuring smile. "Don't worry, my dear. You've done a great service to Rosas and the people." She said in an almost motherly tone. "Thanks to you, the traitors will be brought to justice. Magnifico will be delighted to meet the hero of Ross and give you what you deserve." The last sentence sounded rather odd to phrase, but maybe Dahlia was slightly put off by the way Sabor grinned at her.

Dahlia had mixed feelings about this, even though she shouldn't. The baker was absolutely certain that bringing Asha to the royals would not only keep Rosas safe but also clear up a misunderstanding and Magnifico could help her family. If she really was helping her friend, why did it feel...bad?

Perhaps the king would ease her mind...

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

FINAL THOUGHTS

IT'S FINALLY DONE, HOORAY!! 🙌 I know it took me forever to make this, I'm glad it was finished! One part was because I was really busy with work and this chapter wouldn't leave me the hell alone to finish, and the other is that its been pretty difficult to write all the teens lines. As someone who grew to like the idea of a Seven Drawves styled group, I thought they were pretty bland in the movie. And from the art book and deleted scenes showed, they were meant to be much more but got cut down. So I really wanted to show them all having distinctive personalities, could banter with one another, and actually grow in their friendship with Asha and each other. Which brings me to my next thing...

YES, THE TRAITOR IS FINALLY REVEALED IN HERE, AND I CAN TALK ABOUT IT, I'M FREEEEE!!!!!

So yeah, instead of Simon, its Dahlia! I've been keeping this plot twist a secret for almost a year because I really wanted to do something different with the traitor idea. I chose this because during one of the deleted scenes, Dahlia was sent to work in the dungeon, while everyone else sneaked in. Simon was with the group, so that means in the original film, he wasn't a traitor. He was helping Asha. Dahlia mentioned she saw Magnifico's true nature and that she was being punished "for what they did". Which got me thinking, what if Dahlia was the traitor in the original movie? She's the one that believes in Magnifico the most and refuses to see the truth, so what if she ratted them out, thinking she was doing the right thing? What if Asha was betrayed by her best friend? From there, I rolled with it.

As for the story itself, strap yourselves in, because the next few chapters are gonna be WILD! And I'll finally get to the juicy stuff I've been wanting to write for months!

And yes, the poster is nearly done, ITS JUST TAKING FOREVER-

Thanks for reading!

@oh-shtars @tumblingdownthefoxden @chillwildwave @your-ne1ghbor

@annymation @lazytitans-world @thesafireartist @natsuki208

@snackara @kenihewa @mythartist21 @uva124

@spectator-zee @cocoapowderpictures @emptyblog7

@pinkninja0708 @gracebeth3604 @ishadow246 @jojo-ker06

[gingerteafairy]

girl never stop writing todd haynes fics im obsessed. esp 'third wheel payback' soso good i love a comic reader fic <3

funny you say that right as i was finishing this one hssowiejsnsk wrote it after seeing an adorable edit of todd with every man gets his wish by lana del rey on tiktok and i religiously saw it everyday multiple times ❤️‍🩹

spiderman milkshake (todd haynes x reader)

Who said comics can't help on a date?

tags n warnings: smut/mdni, waitress!reader, comic references, language, fingering, dry humping, kinks. word count: 4.3k

Todd was practically glued to his milkshake, sucking on the straw like it was some kind of life-sustaining multivitamin when he saw you walk by, effortlessly balancing a tray while tending to the tables. You looked adorable in that waitress uniform. Atomic Comics was his favorite place in the world—his friends, comic books, and a gorgeous nerdy waitress all in one spot. He could swear he saw you wearing a Venom T-shirt before you put on your uniform, matching with his Spiderman one.

Dave and Marty were deep in conversation, but Todd? He was somewhere else entirely—lost in his own world. Or, more accurately, lost in New York City, spideyvenom was getting really interesting right now.

"And like I was saying, Spider-Man’s powers are total garbage," Dave argued, popping a fry into his mouth. "I mean, web-shooting? That’s disgusting. Right, Todd?"

"Huh? Yeah. Totally." Todd replied absentmindedly, taking another sip.

"No way, and I can prove it! Webs are a hit! Just look at how he shoots them," Marty insisted, mimicking Spider-Man's signature hand gesture while making web-slinging sound effects. Dave immediately joined in.

Their laughter faded when they noticed Todd wasn’t reacting at all. He hadn’t moved a muscle. Following his gaze, they landed on you—standing a few feet away, scribbling an order onto your notepad.

Todd was mesmerized. The way you absentmindedly tucked the pen behind your ear, how your hair brushed against your neck, the delicate earring dangling just beneath—it was adorable. He wished he had given you that earring himself.

"I’m telling you, man. You should just talk to her. That’s your second milkshake," Dave pointed out, growing tired of watching Todd’s thousand-yard stare.

"Yeah, dude. This is getting kinda creepy," Marty added, raising an eyebrow.

Truth be told, Todd had known you way before his friends ever did.

He had once posted an insanely cool Justice League edit, and you had actually commented on it. That one reply had somehow turned into a full-on conversation, which then turned into many conversations. And before Todd even knew what hit him, he was completely, hopelessly into you.

The moment you casually mentioned that you read manga too? Yeah. That was it. Game over.

Even if you both chatted online everyday, seeing you in person was a completely different experience. It was like you were strangers all over again. Part of that was because Todd was horrifically shy and couldn’t even look you in the eyes without feeling like his soul was going to physically leave his body. The other part? Well… you were a waitress.

For some reason, that made it feel… wrong.

Like he fantasized a lot, basically a porn movie plot, you coming only on a apron saying "hey, sweetie, here's your milkshake" in an exaggerated sultry voice as you took the piece off. If a hacker could see his browsing history, they would see that 50% of waitress kink videos visualizations came from Todd's PC.

But as a normal shy guy, he was afraid of bothering you. Like you were only talking to him because it was literally your job. And, of course, there was also the massive fear that Dave and Marty would say something stupid and completely humiliate him.

Because, let’s be real—they absolutely would.

Dave exchanged a knowing glance with Marty—silently forming a plan. "Hey, waitress!" He suddenly called out.

Todd’s eyes widened in panic. "No! No, no, no—what the fuck am I supposed to say to her?"

"Order another milkshake," Marty snickered.

Todd ran a shaky hand through his hair, clearly freaking out as he saw you glance in their direction before heading toward their table.

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit—she’s coming!" His voice barely came out as he scrambled for an escape, gulping down his milkshake like his life depended on it.

"How can I help?" you greeted with a warm smile, the sunlight from the window behind you making you look even more radiant. Then, your gaze landed on Todd. "Hey, Todd. The usual?"

"Me?" Todd blurted out, his voice cracking slightly. He turned to his friends, who looked just as amused as they were surprised.

"Yeah… milkshake. I know you like it—you always get the same thing," you beamed casually, already flipping open your notepad.

"Uh… I… can I…" Todd stumbled over his words. Oh my God, she knows what I like. His brain was short-circuiting. "I wanna buy you a milkshake."

You let out a soft laugh, pulling the pen from behind your ear and jotting something down. "I’m gonna serve you a big slice of ���never do that again,’ okay?"

You replied, folding the piece of paper and placing it near his hand before walking away. Todd stared at you, utterly devastated. His soul left his body.

"Oof, dude… that was rough," Dave cringed, physically recoiling from secondhand embarrassment.

"Yeah, I kinda saw that one coming," Todd muttered, hesitantly unfolding the note—fully expecting his official rejection letter, his eyes widened.

"Oh. My. God."

"What?!" Dave and Marty leaned in at the same time. Todd slowly turned the paper around.

"I’m off at 5. XOXO."

"XOXO?" Dave repeated, snatching the paper.

"It means hugs and kisses, dumbass," Marty rolled his eyes, taking it from him to inspect the handwriting. Before he could analyze further, Todd swiped back his sacred treasure.

"I dunno… think I won’t go," Todd murmured, pouting dramatically.

"Wait, wait, wait. You're gonna chicken out now that she actually showed interest?" Marty hissed in disbelief.

"I don’t know, man… She’s perfect. And I’m just… this." Todd gestured vaguely to himself. He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping as he absentmindedly reached for his milkshake straw—only to find nothing there.

"Hey, man. Don’t be like that," Marty said, giving him a reassuring pat on the back. "If she’s into you, that means there’s gotta be something cool about you."

"Yeah, Todd. You’re a cool guy, the smartest one out of the three of us. You’ll do great," Dave reassured him, flashing a confident smile.

Todd let out a weak laugh, barely processing the words as he glanced at you. His heart skipped a beat when you turned and met his gaze, smiling at him like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Was this what cardiac arrest felt like?

"Yeah… it’s gonna be great," he mumbled, his lips stretching into a dumb, lopsided grin. Every ounce of self-doubt vanished. That smile of yours? That was all he needed today.

Marty and Dave, sensing the gravity of the situation, made sure to stay with him until the very last minutes of your shift. They cracked jokes, debated superhero fights, and did their best to keep Todd from imploding. And for a while, it worked—until the clock ticked closer to 5 PM.

Todd felt it before he saw it—the rush of oh-no-oh-no-it’s-happening panic settling in his bones. His palms grew clammy as he watched you disappear into the employee break room. His foot tapped against the floor rapidly.

Dave, immediately noticing, snapped his fingers in front of Todd’s face. "Alright, dude. Focus up. Take this."

Todd blinked as Dave dropped a stick of gum into his hand. "Do I have bad breath?"

"No… but trust me, mint gum is a game changer. Chicks love it."

Marty, standing beside them, shoved his hands into his pockets and casually pulled out five more sticks of mint gum. Todd and Dave stared at him like he had just pulled out five engagement rings.

"What?" Marty blinked. "I like to be prepared."

"As if you’re kissing that many people," Dave snorted.

Marty rolled his eyes and flipped him off. "I am a romance expert, okay? I’m the best at Romance Simulator, and I’ve picked up a ton of tips—"

"Oh yeah, great example, Marty," Dave cut in.

"Hey! Those games are super realistic!" Marty huffed, popping a piece of gum into his mouth. "I even have a girlfriend in one of them."

"The only girlfriend you’re ever getting," Dave snickered.

Todd, however, wasn’t listening anymore. His brain had short-circuited the moment he saw you step out of the break room, adjusting your bag strap as you waved goodbye to your coworkers.

"Guys, she’s coming," he whisper-hissed, suddenly shoving them aside. Panic took over. "How do I look? Am i stinking?"

Before anyone could react, Todd lifted his arm toward Marty. Marty recoiled like a cat sprayed with water. "DUDE. I’m not smelling you."

"Come on, please! I don’t even know if I put on cologne—Dave!" Todd pleaded desperately, his eyes wide with silent help me energy. Dave just shook his head, holding back a laugh.

"You ready?" Your voice rang out, bright and casual, like you hadn’t just sent Todd spiraling into a crisis. His body moved before his brain could, immediately slamming his arm down and scrambling to his feet.

"Of course! Let’s go!" he blurted out, way too enthusiastic, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans like that would magically solve the problem.

But when he finally looked at you—saw the soft amusement in your eyes, the way your lips twitched like you were holding back a laugh—his nerves settled just a little bit.

You both stepped out of the store, and Todd could not stop staring. He had never seen you in casual clothes before.

The skirt? Adorable. That black Venom t-shirt? Perfect. The way it fit on you? Dangerous. You turned to face him, the soft scent of your hair hit him like a gentle, but highly effective truck.

"Finally worked up the courage to talk to me, huh? I was starting to think you were embarrassed of me," you teased, laughing.

"Embarrassed of you? Jesus, it’s more like the opposite," he blurted out, rubbing the back of his neck. The warm, bubbly feeling in his chest only grew when you laughed at his joke.

"So why didn’t you ever talk to me?" you asked, genuinely curious. First things first, let’s be honest here.

You were just as into Todd as he was into you.

There was something about him that was so effortlessly adorable. The way he always ordered a milkshake, sipping on it like it was the best thing in the world. You made sure to take your sweet time preparing it just right—just so you could see that little happy smile he made when he took the first sip.

Todd was the kind of guy who made you giggle and kick your feet on your bed, cheeks burning at just the thought of him.

And the fact that he had zero clue about the effect he had on you? It almost made you feel like some kind of stalker. Casually texting him every day just to keep the conversation going. Catching yourself wishing you were his milkshake straw, quenching his thirst, around his rosy wet lips. Oh, the tongue—

Todd, completely unaware of all of this, was busy trying not to combust.

"I just… I thought you’d be embarrassed of me because, well… I'm—" He exhaled, hesitating, hoping you’d finish the sentence for him.

Loser, his brain supplied helpfully. Instead, you smiled and said, "Shy?"

Todd blinked. That was not the word he expected.

You—beautiful, funny, way-too-cool-for-him—were looking at him with zero judgment. Just patience. Just kindness. He was sure you're going to heaven when you died.

"Yeah… I guess," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry about that."

"no, I'm the one that should be apologizing," you cooed, sighing. "Sorry about the dump, i was kinda angry with you. I was starting to think you hated me and I don't know, ghosting."

"No, shit. Sorry," he whined, feeling like an ass to make you feel like this. "From now on, i'll talk to you every time I see you. Promise."

"Deal. Hey, do you remember that new Marvel issue I told you about?" you asked, smoothly changing the subject.

Todd nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Yeah! It’s great. Why?"

"I bought it. It’s at my place. Wanna come see?"

Todd’s brain immediately shut down. His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again.

Processing… Processing… ERROR: BRAIN NOT FOUND.

"I… uh… one sec! I forgot something back in the store," Todd blurted out, laughing way too weirdly before bolting back inside.

He skidded to a stop at the table where Dave and Marty were still sitting, slamming his hands down on it like he was in some kind of action movie. "Date over already?" Dave questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"SHE WANTS ME TO GO TO HER HOUSE," Todd announced, not breathing, before grabbing Dave’s soda and chugging it.

"And what the hell are you waiting for? Go before he changes her mind! You don't have many options," Marty urged, while Dave yanked his soda back, dramatically wiping the rim before taking another sip.

"But I don’t know what to do! It’s not a date! She just mentioned something about a new Marvel issue," Todd gasped, heart pounding, his body already covered in stress sweat.

Dave and Marty exchanged a look. Marty was the first to speak, grinning. "That’s a code."

"That’s 100% a code," Dave agreed.

Todd blinked. "A code? The hell you talking about?" He whispered like a true paranoid man, glancing out the window to make sure you weren’t listening. Luckily, you were distracted on your phone.

"Okay, Todd. Tell me when the new Marvel issue actually comes out," Dave prompted, crossing his arms.

"March 23rd. Why?" Todd replied, even more confused.

"And what’s today’s date?"

"Hmmm, lemme think. Okay, I know. March 19th, but what does that have to—" Todd froze. His brain short-circuited. His eyes went huge. "Oh my God. It’s a code."

"It’s a code," they both confirmed, nodding like wise sages.

The realization hit Todd so hard that all three of them jumped up in celebration—only to immediately sit back down when everyone in the store looked at them like they were insane.

"Shit. I gotta go. Bye!" Todd practically sprinted away.

"Crack that code wide open, Todd!" Dave called after him, laughing as Todd flipped him off on his way out.

“Hey, man,” Marty called, stopping Todd, gesturing him to come closer and whisper. “Spiderman hands, you hear me?”

“What the—”

“Just do it,” he insisted and Todd frowned, realization coming when he did the gesture himself. “You see?”

“Got it. Thanks, dude,” he beamed, training with his both hands. You never know when you have to use your non dominant hand.

“And when you do it down there…” He continued, hands on his face to cover the gesture. “Venom tongue. Flash movements.”

“Damn, Marty. You're a fucking Wikipedia,” he grinned, keeping the information on his head. “Do the sage has more advices to this poor mortal?”

“Oh, i got one,” Dave standed, joining the conversation. “If she looks at your lips, don't chicken out. One more thing, mimic her lips, that way you won't mess your first kiss.”

“What? I had my first kiss.” He murmured blushing.

“Seriously, dude?” Marty mocked, giving an exaggerated eye roll. While Todd was still inside, you whipped out your phone and immediately typed into the group chat.

You: Girls, seriously. I’m with him.

Erika: Who??

You: Todd Haynes!!!!

Katie: OH MY GODDD

You: I’m so nervous, Idk what to do.

Erika: Apron. Wear it.

You: For what?

Erika: You’ll understand.

Katie: You got this, girl. You’re amazing.

Erika: Get him pregnant

You snorted at your friends’ chaotic but heartfelt encouragement, quickly locking your phone the second you saw Todd skidded back up to you, barely keeping it together.

"I’m back! I, uh, forgot… my keys," he explained, shaking them a little to prove it.

"I forget mine all the time. So… ready to go?"

He nodded so fast it was almost embarrassing.As you walked, Todd felt like he was floating. Your house was close to the store, and when you stepped inside, Todd couldn’t help but drink in his surroundings. It was small, but cozy—just like you.

He wanted to be cool about it. Casual. Normal. So, naturally, he started copying every single thing you did like some kind of socially awkward robot.

You took off your jacket? Boom. Jacket off. You took off your shoes and put them neatly on the shoe rack? Guess what? Todd was doing that too.

Smooth. Totally natural.

"So…" you started, taking a step closer to him. "What do you want?"

Todd choked on absolutely nothing and immediately backed up a step. Oh God. She moves fast. Is it happening? Is this it? Shit, I don't have any condoms here.

"W-What do you mean?" he stammered, hands awkwardly hovering at his sides.

You let out a soft laugh, but internally, you were screaming. Come on, Todd. Pick up the hints. Please just kiss me already.

"Do you wanna check out the comic or do something else first?" you clarified, hoping he’d catch the very obvious subtext.

Unfortunately, you were dealing with Todd Haynes—a man who had never been close to a woman that wasn’t his own mother. Todd, however, was trying to trust his instincts—and the questionable advice of his friends. With a burst of sudden confidence, he reached into his pocket and pulled out two pieces of gum.

"Wanna… gum?" he offered timidly.

You blinked. "Do I have bad breath?" you asked, suddenly self-conscious.

At that exact moment, Todd mentally began digging his own grave and jumping inside with a cheap bouquet. Dave crying looking at the rainy sky and Marty singing Love Hurts on his grave. R.I.P. Todd Haynes, the biggest coward to ever exist.

"NO. Oh my God. Fuck, no," he panicked, his words tripping over each other. "You smell… really good. Like, so good. I—uh. Shit. That sounded weird. I just—ugh, I shouldn’t have—sorry, I don’t know why I did that—"

Mid-breakdown, Todd shoved the gum back into his pocket and rocked back and forth on his heels, suffocating in the crushing weight of the awkward silence. You thought fast. You weren’t about to let this moment die, remembering the apron tip.

"Hey," you chirped, forcing casual confidence. "How about I cook for us?"

You turned toward the kitchen, heart pounding, silently praying the pots and pans would swallow you whole to spare you from the embarrassment.

Todd perked up immediately. "Yes! Yes, absolutely. I love everything you make," he rushed out, practically jogging after you before settling into a chair—the perfect spot to admire you while you cooked. You tied on an apron, completely unaware of the effect it had on Todd, who sat there, staring in silent awe.

"Wow."

You turned. "What?"

"Nothing!" he blurted, immediately crossing his arms like it would somehow make him look cooler and less flustered.

"Okay," you muttered, shaking your head as you turned to rummage through the cabinets. Erika was right, you’d definitely thank her. You stretched up on your tiptoes, but—unfortunately—your genius past self had placed the glasses way too high.

"Damn it…" you muttered.

Todd immediately jumped up. "I got it!"

He reached past you, his height making the task effortless—and for the first time, you actually registered how much taller he was than you.

"What do you need?" he asked, voice much closer than you expected.

"Uh…" You blinked up at him, suddenly feeling a little flustered yourself. "The glass cups. I, uh… accidentally put them super high."

Todd grabbed them easily, handing them over with a small, proud smile—totally unaware that his casual helpfulness had just made your heart skip a beat. He carefully set the two glasses down on the counter. You bit your cheek, your gaze meeting his—and lingering just a little too long.

The air between you suddenly felt thicker, heavier. His eyes flickered to your lips, and your breath hitched as you instinctively did the same. When you looked back up, his gaze was still there, locked on your mouth like it held the secrets of the universe.

Okay. Enough was enough.

Before your nerves could get the best of you, you moved, your fingers lightly brushing over his hand. Todd stiffened at first—face heating from the tiny touch—but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he exhaled sharply as he let his palm travel up to your cheek, hesitating for half a second before finally leaning in, closing the gap between you.

The second your lips met, you melted. Without thinking, your arms flew up, wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss—half in excitement, half to make sure he didn’t chicken out.

Todd, on the other hand, was very much spiraling.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I am kissing her. This is happening. She’s kissing me back. This is—

His brain short-circuited before defaulting to its best coping mechanism—imitation. Todd mimicked your lips movements, following your lead, and shockingly it worked. His hands instinctively gripped your waist, pulling you in closer.

And then, without really thinking, he tilted his head, stepping forward just enough to press you gently against the counter. It was official.

Todd Haynes had zero idea what he was doing. But somehow, it was going very, very well.

He moaned when your hands reached his hair, anchoring on his frame, he sucked your bottom lip like his life depended on it, he kissed hungrily. It was hot. So freaking hot, you were losing your mind, loving how he changed about it and just devoured you.

Everything was so good that he almost forgot about his cock pulsating inside his jeans. He pushed back, eyes wide as he looked down to the tent, eyes up to meet your mouth swollen, three tones redder and a huge teeth mark as the cherry on top.

“Fuck, I'm so sorry,” he whimpered, embarrassed with his hormones controlling his brain. “It’s just— I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing, but it's so good.”

“Yeah, it's really good,” you encouraged, coming closer, chests touching as you leaned to kiss him, slightly opening your legs, him entering the small gap you conceded.

The kiss was slower, more sensual. He was a fast learner, holding back on the vacuum-like sucking, concentrating on gentle nips. He pushed back, eyes closed.

“Is it better?” He muttered, ghosting his lips over yours.

“Yeah, but I think this would be better,” you breathed, taking his hand and directioning them to your lower belly, guiding him to your panties.

He gulped, nodding, opening his eyes to see you rolling your skirt up, giving him a sight of your panties. Todd Haynes was too stunned to speak. He just moved his hand to touch the covered spot, almost flicking his hand back when he felt you shivering.

“You can touch directly if you want to,” you suggested like you weren't the one dying of embarrassment.

Todd sighed. Spider-Man hands. He remembered when he pushed your panties down and patted his fingertip on your clit, watching your reaction. He gulped at you and looked at him with doe eyes begging to be touched. He wouldn't deny it, so he gently rubbed your clit, licking his lips, dying to feel your taste on them.

“Yeah, you're—pretty good, Todd,” you purred, your sounds making his head blurred, focused on your cunt getting wetter and wetter.

“Is it?” His eyes lit up, going down at your slit to collect more liquid and keep the stroking on your spot.

“Uh-huh,” you nodded, spreading your legs wider. Todd's chest rose and fell rapidly, increasing the rhythm until he successfully inserted his middle finger inside. “Fuck.”

He froze his finger, searching your eyes to check if he did something wrong, but your flushed face, so beautiful biting your lip as your hips longed for his finger said the opposite. He was doing really good.

Encouraged by your lewd expression, he joined his ring finger inside, setting a pace by the reactions you were making.

“Faster, Todd,” you pleaded, grinding on his fingers. He couldn't even believe, looking down, seeing his fingers glistening in and out, disappearing on your cunt sucking them, your walls clenching around them, he was panting.

“Like this?” He asked in a whimpery voice, doing what you needed. He searched for your lips, brushing them as he heard the wet sound of your pussy.

You grasped his biceps, feeling the knot forming on your lower belly as you purred and whined on the kiss. Todd started to breathe faster, grinding on your thigh, his free hand palming your ass.

“Todd, I'm cumming,” you mewled, coming undone on his fingers, legs shivering as he held you in place, preventing you from falling down. He kept fingering you til he opened his mouth, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back, swaying his hips on your thigh.

He groaned, taking off his fingers from you and directioning it to his mouth, sucking your arousal. He hummed, looking back at you panting, hands gripping on the counter.

“You taste better than milkshakes,” he shyly added, planting an adorable peck on your lips.

“You're so cute,” you giggled, pecking him back. You weren't done, your hunger for Todd might never end. He was just so damn irresistible. “Hey… do you wanna, like… continue this?”

“Oh… uhmm…” He stammered, his nose doing the little frown you find cute. “We have to wait a little.”

“Why?” You pouted, tilting your head.

“Why?” He echoed, thinking about all the manners of saying the obvious, choosing to say it straight. “I came.”

You grinned, giggling at him getting beet-red. “Hey, don't worry about it. We can eat something while your body reacts.”

“Can i eat you?” He blurted, suddenly digging courage from the bottom of his heart.

You blushed, nodding, too shy to say something. He grinned, kneeling on the floor. “Hey, don't you wanna go to my room? It might be uncomfortable for you.”

“It's just…” he began, tilting his head up to meet your gaze, warm breath next to your cunt. “I kinda fantasize a lot about eating you out in the kitchen.”

“Really?” You panted, hands making their way to his head.

“Yeah,” he replied, licking his lips in anticipation. Venom tongue. Flash speed. “The apron is a bonus.”

That night, you finally lived your dream—becoming Todd’s milkshake straw in the best way possible. And Todd? He finally mustered up the courage to take a real chance on you.

You spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in each other, sharing a blanket that neither of you really needed. Your legs brushed. Your fingers tangled absentmindedly. Every now and then, Todd would steal a glance at you like he still couldn’t believe this was real. As you both talked for hours about the thing that brought you together in the first place—comics—he realized something:

Super heroes were cool. Spider Man and Flash? Even cooler. He couldn't forget to thank Venom as a villain.

But nothing—nothing—could top the way you looked at him like he was your favorite issue in the entire collection.

[righteousliar]

not to be sad on main but I miss my mom

[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[skrunksthatwunk]

eughhh i feel dumb

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.

anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.

She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”

yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.

all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.

[girlivealwaysbean]

im so embarrassed I told this teacher from my class that I will study her subject on my own when she texted to ask why wasn't i attending batches and

[steviescrystals]

guys things are happening

[femonologue]

Many years ago, I was wandering around downtown Ottawa with my best friend. We ran into a friend of his who offered us some hash (it sucked), then said there was a really good house party nearby if we wanted to go. We were like, yeah, sure. So that's how we ended up at some completely fucking random person's house.

I look around to ask if my friend knows anyone here and he's simply gone, as is his friend. And this isn't some red solo cup hangout; this is a party. There's people counting out pills on the kitchen counter. I am clearly neither as cool nor as drug-savvy as the kitchen people, so I back away and instead wander aimlessly into the living room, which seems to give off more of a chill vibe.

A bunch of people are seated in a circle on the floor. One of them is fiddling with a big wad of newspaper or something. A really cute grunge girl with piercings and tattoos scoots aside to make room for me, so I sit down.

"What's that," I ask her, gesturing at the newspaper wad.

She gets a really big smile on her face. You know the smile. It's the I'm About To Watch This Innocent Soul Get High As Fuck smile. "You've never smoked a tulip?"

"What's a tulip?" I ask.

"It's like if a joint was also a bong," she replies. "You gotta try it."

"Alright," I reply, a little uncertainly. This will not be my first encounter with weed. I am more comfortable with the janky newspaper bong than I am with whatever the fuck is going on in the kitchen. Besides, this girl is really cute and I would like to have a friend here now that my existing friend has turned into vapor or been transported to the Upside-Down or whatever the hell happened to him.

I watch as one person holds the newspaper joint-bong upright and holds a lighter over the top while another gets beneath it, tilting their head back to take a puff. Apparently smoking this Cheech & Chong monstrosity is a two-person job.

"Oh," I say, looking at the fist-sized knob at the top of the wonky newspaper joint. "Yeah, it does kinda look like a tulip." Grunge girl smiles at me.

I watch as the tulip is passed around the circle, along with the lighter, and hits are cooperatively taken. It reaches grunge girl, who takes a huge puff and holds it for an extended moment before exhaling an impressive blast of smoke. She smiles expectantly and holds the tulip up for me, preparing to spark the gigantic meteor of dank that makes up its tip. By this point I have completely forgotten about my missing friend. I only care about making a good impression on grunge girl. I tilt my head back and hit the tulip like a smokestack.

It is the following morning. I am sleeping between a couch and a wall. I'm not positive that this is the same house I was just in. My memories are gone. Someone is yelling at me: "dude! Dude! Wake up, dude!"

I sit up. My mouth tastes like cigarettes. I do not smoke cigarettes. "Wha," I ask the yelling man, who I am quite confident I have never met before in my life.

"We're going on a quest," he tells me, gravely. "You have to come with us."

I look around. Neither my friend nor his friend are anywhere in sight. I also do not see grunge girl anywhere. I shrug helplessly. "Okay."

We embark from this house. I learn that the destination of this quest is Tim Horton's. This is a relief to me, as coffee and a donut sounds really fucking good right now. Somehow, the route to Tim Horton's takes us past the Governor-General's residence, which everyone else in the group loudly heckles on the way past. I do not know what the Governor-General has done to raise their ire, nor do I particularly care. I trudge along with my hands in my pockets, pleased to note that I still have my wallet, phone, and keys. I fervently wish that I could remember anything about last night. Maybe I talked to grunge girl. Maybe she's why my mouth tastes like cigarettes. The tulip tasted nothing like cigarettes.

I am asked about my politics. I voice my frustrations with corporate corruption, the pay-to-win electoral system, the lack of transparency and accountability. This is met with great approval. The guy who was yelling at me claps me on the back. I get the impression that we became friends last night. I don't recognize his face. I do not know his name and he definitely does not know mine. I behave as though we're friends anyway. We are comrades on a quest.

By the time we make it to Tim Hortons, the gaggle of stoners I'm walking with have all run out of energy and/or attention span. People order snacks and break away in pairs or solo, to call for rides or plan the day's events or just vegetate and wait for the drugs to leave their systems. I look around and find that my nameless friend has also gone to the Upside-Down. As I wash the cigarette taste out of my mouth with coffee, I unsuccessfully try to remember whether I saw grunge girl smoking tobacco at any point. I remember nothing. That tulip was so fucking powerful that it instantly sent me a whole day forward in time.

Alone in the city, I try to call my best friend and get no answer. I walk to the nearest bus stop, catch a bus most of the way home, and call up my parents to ask for a ride back. They ask where my friend is. I tell them that I have no idea; we went to a house party and I don't remember anything else.

When they pick me up from the bus station, they ask me some very safe, nonspecific questions, and seem to relax when I describe what little I can remember. It isn't until years later that I realize they were probably terrified I'd gotten rufied or something, and were so relieved to learn otherwise that they didn't even bother chiding me for smoking myself unconscious in an effort to impress a strange woman. In any case, they were probably happy to find out that I did, in fact, like girls; I suspect they had been privately wondering whether I was gay.

After getting home, I finally manage to get my best friend to answer his phone. I discover that he tried the kitchen pills, spent most of the night crossing the entire city on foot, and crashed at his cousin's house. He sounds like shit. I tell him that he should have tried the tulip, instead. He fervently agrees with me.

I never see grunge girl again.

That's okay, though. She got to see a clueless stranger get fucked the entire way up on some ungodly strain of giga-weed, and I got smiled at by a cute girl, and then I got to go on a quest. Wherever grunge girl is, I hope she's happy. I hope she's smoking the fattest fucking blunt and smiling as some kid passes out behind a couch.

[irndad]

i wish i knew you wanted me - s.r.

a/n: okay this ended up being so so long forgive me!!! i hope you like<3 summary: based loosely on 'bad habit'. spencer got asked out by reader 5 years ago, when he was recovering from his dilaudid addiction, and turned her down. now, he's in love with her, and pining for her. also, jealous!spencer. she fell first, he fell harder. wc: ~2k

She’s very pretty. It’s distracting. Right now, she’s staring intently at his hands, and he feels hot under her gaze. It’s been a while since he’s done this, the little rocket trick, but she’s visiting the office, and Garcia had mentioned he’s a magician. 

“That’s incredible!” She exclaims, a giggle in her laugh, and he feels the swoop of his stomach, the butterflies of it all, “You got them so high up!”

“It’s just physics,” he laughs, meeting her warm gaze. Her smile is one for the ages. 

She’s here dropping off a file. They’ve known eachother a really long time, actually. She was an expert witness for them, once, years ago. She spoke with ease, both on the stand and in person. Equal measure kind and measured, and Spencer had adored her on first glance. They’d met when he was just getting clean from Dilaudid, and Spencer’s been in love with her since not long after than first meeting. That’s pretty much the only thing about her he wishes he could take back. 

He still has a hard time thinking about it, the fact that he met her when he was barely himself. Still, she’d been kind, listened to him talk and let the others tell her that he was…going through something. It was on his two month sobriety date (which she’d had no way of knowing) that she’d asked him out. 

Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, he replays the memory in his head. How she works just south of their office, and how they’d meet at the café nearest, and chat for an hour before calling a cab home. 

On the other side of the veil, he can picture that night, years ago now. How she’d looked with the snow kissing her nose, dotting the edges of her faux-fur hood. She’d stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake, and he’d almost combusted and the adorability of it. 

“You look nice,” she’d said, although at the time he’s pretty sure he looked gaunt. He’d only recently started to gain the weight back- but still, her praise felt like stardust. 

“You look nicer,” he’d said back, gently bumping her shoulder as a fond gesture. Her little grin is well-worth how awkward they both look on the street.

“Listen,” she had said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, the size of the coat causing her hands to disapear from sight entirely, “I asked JJ and Morgan, and they said you’re not seeing anyone.”

“Oh, yeah. They love reminding me of that. Not everyone can be like Morgan and have dated half the western hemsiphere.”

He felt embarrassed, her watching him. It’s nice, but sometimes feels like staring into the sun. 

Her chuckle was nervous, not fully reaching her eyes. 

“You okay? 

“Yeah,” she swallowed again, before speaking, “I was wondering, um, if you might want to grab a drink with me?”

“Sure,” he’d replied back, amenably. He couldn’t tell why she looked so nervous, “I can’t really do hard liquor, though. Maybe we can invite the team.”

“No, Spence, I was wondering if you and I could go on a um, a date.”

And he’s frozen. Because this might be the second time he’d ever been asked out, and second, this might be his dream girl. She’s gorgeous and kind and she’s in front of him, asking him out. 

“I um,” his mouth was dry. He’d be a bad boyfriend. He was a recovering drug addict who already was bad at talking to people, and she lit up a room whenever she walked in. She finds him easy to be with, easy to care for and he’s bound to fuck it up. He couldn’t imagine giving that up because he was too greedy to take what he got. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He almost took it back with incredible speed, with that flash of disapointment on her lovely face, and the knowledge that it’s because she wanted him, before she quickly regained her speech.

“That’s totally alright! We’ll just be good friends, yeah?”

In the here and now, they are friends. Best of, really. And he made the right choice. He’d lashed out at Emily a month later in a withdrawl, and he knows that he’d have done the same to her, and now, she’s still in his life. 

The drawbacks of course, to being her friend, means she has dates. Boyfriends, as well, and he’s been a…friend, through it all. Good friend. She’s never suspeced him of anything more, of course, after he’d categorically rejected it. 

(Even though this rejection plays in his head all the fucking time, like a torturous groundhog day.)

She’s beautiful today, a blue blouse with a scarf lazily around her neck, and the way she’s leaning over his desk to see the  trick before she drops off her analysis. 

“Alright, Spence,” she says, her rose perfume wafting in the air prior to her hopping off the corner, “Did you need anything else? Today is my half-day, and Harry wanted to take me to Art Insititute.”

Harry, is the boy on rotation at the moment. Spencer has no impulse control and a super-computer expert best friend, so Spencer knows that Harry is 6’0 on his Driver’s License, and is a Financial Analyst. Spencer knows from her own mouth that this will be the third date, and that he’s a little boring but she’s attracted to the fact that he was direct and wanted to go out again. 

Low bar, but one Spencer couldn’t even clear. He doesn’t say any of that, though.

“That sounds fun,” he says, instead of saying that he’d love to walk her through the inscriptions on each art piece, love to kiss her in front of something thats’ beauty does not come close to her’s. “Are you thinking it might run long, or are we still doing the bookstore and TV at mine after?”

He’s been looking forward to this all week. He bought special marshmallows for her cocoa. He also htes to imagine her date running long. 

“Nah,” she smiles, “besides, he’s just some guy. You’re Spencer.”

Morgan doesn’t say anything when he looks down at his. paperwork, and scribbles instead of thinking, the best he can. 

________________________________

Don’t think about the fact she was on a date. Don’t think about how Harry might have got to kiss her. Just don’t bring it up. 

“How was the date?”

She shrugged, pulling at the spine of a hardcover novel. 

“It was fine. Like I said, he was kind of boring.”

“So why’d you go out with him again?”

“I dunno, Spence, I just… I want a boyfriend, you know? I want someone to want to be with me.”

She is so beautiful. She laughs with her whole chest, and she listens to his stories and chimes in with her own expertise. She has a voice that seems like it’s spun gold thread, and he’d give anything to kiss her. 

“I get that,” he says, instead of anything he’s thinking. She’s wearing brown lipstick, transfer proof. He’s in love with her. “There’s got to be guys lining up for a girl like you.”

“That’s a nice thought, Spence. Not the ones I’d like.”

___________________________

This thought haunts his evening, and when he parks and they start the walk-up to his apartment, a confession hammering at his throat, a physical urge. She’s giggling at some long physics joke he’d made, and he’s addicted to the soft bell of her laughter.

His apartment is small and lovely, and he enjoys having her in the small and dark of the night, the sun set over what he wishes were two lovers. 

“You are really pretty, you know,” he says, once she’s settled into his chest, a sick satisfaction of knowing Harry got a quick thank you text before she darted over to Spencer’s arms. 

“Thanks, Spencer. You’re a good friend.”

“Why do you always say that?”

“That you’re a good friend?”

“I’m not saying you’re pretty because I’m a good friend. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I enjoy saying true things.” 

“You don’t…I don’t know why you’re saying that, Spencer. We’re friends and I adore you and I’m here right now, but you don’t need to make it harder on me.”

She looks nervous, and a little disapointed. He wants her to know, that even if he’s missed his shot, she’s not going to be alone. He’s gonna spend the rest of his life hating whoever knew to take the best thing offered to him, but Spencer- he knows he is not going to be the last to love her. He grabs her hand without thinking, her doe eyes peering into his with some emotion he can’t pin down. 

“Hey, I’m not trying…to make anything hard for you. I don’t ever want to do that. I just… some day someone’s gonna see you and want to be with you and I’m going to watch it and know it was inevitable.” 

The words taste like barbed wire. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg, I’m ready now. I’ll do it right. 

Is that even true? Is it just that he wants her bad enough he’s willing to risk not doing it right?

“You’re so sweet,” she sobs, and oh, she’s crying. Just a little, but tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “You make it so hard to be your friend. And I know that’s my problem, that you’ve always been straight up with me. I asked you out and you said no, and I know that-“

“I know that I was too late, and freaked out about being with someone like you when I was still so fucked up.” they’re so close to eachother, he can smell her chapstick. His chest aches. “Sweetheart, that had nothing to do with you. It was all me. It’s a train I missed that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wishing I’d caught.”

He feels uncomfortably bare, even in the oversized sweater that she’d gotten him last Christmas, and that he’d pretended had been from his lover all of that week. But it’s important that she knows.

“What do you mean, ‘too late’?”

Her voice is small, so quiet he barely hears it. She threads her nimble fingers into his slender ones, and his heart is hammering. 

“I-I was on Dilaudid, or just barely off, you know- you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me. You asked me out when you didn’t even know that.”

“I know you now. Years worth of knowing.”

“And you haven’t asked me since.” 

“Spencer,” her voice is warm, rich like silk and grainy old music, and he wants to drink this image in, her fingers stroking the side of his face like he’s holy. He wonders if he’s dreaming, with how good she feels to be so close to. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg. I’m ready, now. 

“Spencer Walter Reid,” she says, properly holding his hand, bringing her soft lips to his hand, kissing his knuckle. He feels anointed, blessed by a higher power. “Could I take you out on a date?”

“Yes,” he says, finally. Five years of waiting melts away as he kisses her, warmth and light seeping into existence, a dream brought to tangible life, to touch and reality, “Actually, wait,” he says, and finishes before her face can fall, “Would you be my girlfriend?”

It’s maybe playing his cards too much, but her wide, ear to ear splitting grin is everything he needs to see, everything he might need to see for the rest of his life. 

“Took you long enough, boy-genius.”

“All you had to do was ask again!”

If she has a complaint about that, it certainly couldn’t be heard by the many, many kisses that would follow. 

[buggachat]

adrien never went to public school / adrienette have never met AU where Ladynoir are dating but Marinette has beef with Adrien Agreste™ on twitter, spurred by her interest in the fashion industry and her friendship with Mylene. ads are all over the place of Adrien promoting products like air in a bottle and NFTs and just generally so many products that are extremely poor taste/bad for the environment. Marinette tweets about beauty standards in the industry and all the shit Gabriel brand does to the environment and how Adrien Agreste perfectly encapsulates it all.

Adrien, of course, never responds to any of her tweets. her tweets are just white noise in the background. she is nowhere near on his level. one day Marinette tweets out something akin to "if I saw Adrien Agreste irl i'd punch him in the face" and her twitter gets banned for Threats of Violence, Alya draws attention to the injustice of it via the Ladyblog and suddenly "I want to punch Adrien Agreste in the face [gets banned]" becomes a bit of a meme. NOW people know who Marinette is and are listening to what she's saying (on her new account or whatever). Chat Noir also tweets that he wants to punch Adrien in the face

A hashtag trends. Marinette caves and starts tweeting about the scandals of the industry on her Ladybug twitter too. Adrien's twitter and instagram comments are flooded with both threats to punch him but also just generally critical comments like "nice pic and all but are you not going to address the sweatshop allegations?". Adrien still does not address it. At most he turns comments off. Marinette is gnawing at the wood of her desk.

Then a Ladybug and Chat Noir identity reveal happens.

Marinette is stunned. Absolutely mouth agape. Cannot form words. Chat Noi— NO, ADRIEN— ADRIEN FUCKING AGRESTE looks at her and is like "oh ha :) .... Marinette Dupain-Cheng, right? You're the girl who wanted to punch me hahaha"

after recovering from her world being shattered, she's like...... "hahaha...... um............... yeah...... uh..... so you... DO know who i am. and you're just. ignoring it then. hahaha... ok... thats....... fine..... anyway..... u-uh...... im not... gonna actually punch you. but. um. k-kitty do you um. maybe want to stop promoting deforestation and all that"

he's like "I don't"

she's like. "yes you do. literally in your newest ad you said to the camera 'who needs trees when bottled air is the way of the future'. like did you really read that line out loud and not see a problem with it"

"yeah, that wasn't me"

"what are you talking abou—"

"it's deepfaked"

"..... what"

"all of my ads in the past few years are deepfakes. I complained too much so my father fired me. turns out that i signed away all rights to my face and voice to him when I was 13 or something. he can just use my face and voice and name however he wants. he generates ads. i dont even have access to the 'Adrien Agreste' twitter or insta accounts. sometimes he makes me do runways but beyond that I'm not involved in all."

"... ... ... ... ... what"

"yeah haha... :") im sorry. i wish i could help you more. but he never listens to me. i don't like it either, i.... i've asked him to stop sooo many times. but he never listens to me. i hate seeing my face used without my consent but haha.... i don't... have any rights here so. sorry. i really wish i could help more"

and now marinette hates "Adrien Agreste"™ ads/posts EVEN MORE and is threatening to kill Gabriel Agreste himself. all while kissing the real adrien agreste silly

[mostly-imagines]

Banished

jason todd x fem!reader

aka jason misses his girlfriend

warnings: extremely mild angst, he’s just mopey (he’s fine)

Jason sits slumped over the kitchen island, head lying in his crossed arms. His now soggy cereal disregarded after barely a few bites.

Dick’s been rummaging through the cabinets for the better part of twenty minutes while Tim has sat atop of the nook table shoving donuts in his mouth for the better part of thirty.

Damian trudges into the room, past them and onto the nook bench, taking out a knife and beginning to whittle away at a block of wood.

He glances at Jason with a scowl. “If you’re going to be so miserable, can’t you do it in your own home?”

Jason just grunts.

He wishes. You and Bruce had conspired to trap him at the mansion for the week so he could heal from injuries sustained during the last mission without risk of him suiting up and sneaking away from you in the middle of the night.

But it’s not even the fact that he’s basically being babysat that’s got him so disgruntled. He secretly wouldn’t really mind it at all if you were here too. But you were dead set that the manor was too far out of your way for work, so you’d stayed behind. A lose-lose for Jason.

“He’s just mad his girlfriend kicked him out,” Dick teases, swiping through the fridge.

Tim snorts from the doorway, “Me too. He’s a lot more depressing on his own.”

Jason keeps his head down as he blindly reaches for the spoon in his cereal and chucks it at Tim’s head.

Tim catches it without thought, continuing, “A lot more irritable, at least. Why isn’t she here?”

“She’s gotta work,” Dick says, scanning through the pantry.

Damian peeps his head up from his project. “But Todd has a rather large supply of less than legally obtained money, does he not?”

“Yeah, but she said she wants to pay her own rent, I think,” Dicks hums, finally giving up on his quest for a snack.

Damian pauses.

“So she wants to live in a tiny apartment?” He asks, a mixture of confused and horrified.

“Watch your mouth,” Jason mumbles.

“It was a genuine question!” Damian protests, face screwed up.

Jason finally lifts his head up, turning to his little brother with a raised brows. “And I’m genuinely going to break your nose.”

It’s an empty threat, maybe. But it was enough to shut Damian up anyways. Jason turns back to his cereal and swishes the bowl around.

Dick rests his arms on the counter across from Jason and speaks lowly. “You know, it is just a few days. She’s coming back.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Jason was never one for showing his feelings—let alone talking about them.

He misses you, plain and simple. Dick could see that much clearly, though the longing looked unfamiliar on Jason.

Bruce lingers in the hallway, just past the island, listening.

He’ll admit (to himself) that he’s worried about Jason. It’s been three days and Jason has yet to show a crack in this demeanor. And while it’s not uncommon for him to stow himself away, there is something quite wrong with the way he hasn’t countered his brother’s jabs at him or teased them.

And while he could do without the blatant threats, he’s proud to hear his son defending his girlfriend, even over trivial things. It’s one of the few moments where he feels like he did right by him as a father.

And now here’s his son, caring about someone else more than he cares about himself. Someone who’s a good person, no less. It had been your idea to trick Jason into staying at the manor, you were scared that he would push his body past its limit when you couldn’t do anything to help.

Bruce knew you didn’t feel great about basically banishing him for the week but he could see that you just wanted what was best for Jason. He could see it so clearly. Maybe Bruce could never have been a perfect father, could never have given his son everything he needed despite having more money than he could ever use. Maybe he couldn’t help him, even now.

But you could.

Bruce peers around the corner, leaning up against the doorframe.

He watches Damian give up on carving at his block and start into the leg of the table.

He watches the bickering that broke out after Tim grab the last glazed donut, which was apparently the only thing Dick could possibly fathom eating.

And he watches Jason.

As Jason’s phone lights up on the counter next to him. He glances down at it with a frown before his face absolutely lights up.

He scrambles to pick the phone up and starts typing away. A quiet action that catches the attention of all of his brothers.

He types and types, waits for ten seconds for a response and types and types again—smile on his face.

The Waynes didn’t need to be the greatest detectives in the world to know who he was texting.

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