#is still good <3 thank you for your support

[band--psycho]

Vander x Reader - In Another Life (Part 1)

SPOILERS FROM ACT 3 - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Vander Masterlist / Arcane Masterlist / Join My Taglist

Thank you to everyone who's sent in a request so far! I'm absolutely loving the ideas you guys are sharing and will get to work on them soon! 💛

Requests are still open so if you have any ideas/requests, you're more than welcome to send them over (thank you to everyone who's requested a story so far, I'm working my way through them!)

Thank you all for the continued support!💛

I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied or translated onto this site or other platforms!

The way I sobbed during this first episode when I saw Vander again!

I just had to write this afterwards - I hope you all enjoy this!

You woke with a start, your heart beating at a rapid pace as a light bead of sweat formed on your forehead. 

You stayed like that for a minute, just sitting upright in the bed as you began to catch your breath; your eyes focusing on the environment around you. 

You weren’t in your bedroom. 

In fact, you didn’t really know where you were…it was weird, although this place seemed so different to you, it felt oddly familiar at the same time.

The last thing you could remember was being in the room with the hexcore in it. 

Ekko…Heimerdinger…Jayce…where were they?

Thoughts were running around in your mind faster than you could keep up with them; you’d barely finished one thought before another one took over, as you tried to work out what the hell happened and where the hell you were. 

‘Am I dead?’ you thought to yourself, running your hands over your face. 

But all your thoughts were halted when you heard the door to your side creek open; followed by a voice that confirmed you must’ve been dead, or just completely losing your mind.

Vanders voice….

“Good morning, sleepyhead, or should I say afternoon,” he chuckled; a sound that made your heart ache, and yet at the same time, made you feel all warm and fuzzy. 

It was a sound that you never thought you’d hear again… 

A sound that had made you feel safe; regardless of what was going on, even now when you had no idea what was going on. 

You heard his footsteps getting closer to you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 

Not even for a second, just in case this was just your mind playing a foul trick on you. 

It wasn’t long before the sounds of his footsteps stopped and the bed that you were sitting on dipped as Vander sat in front of you.  

He lifted his hand to your face, tilting your chin up with his thumb, “You okay, sweetheart?”

His touch; it felt so real, so real that it made you sure it wasn’t your mind deceiving you. 

It couldn’t have been. 

Vander quite often occupied your dreams, and in every single one of them, his touch had never felt as real as it did in this very moment. 

“Am I dead?” The words fell from your lips before you could stop them, coming out in a small whisper.

Your eyes met Vanders gray ones, that’s when you noticed the worry that was slowly building inside them as he stared at you. 

“No, darl,” he cooed, wrapping his other hand around your waist, lifting you out of the bed momentarily before placing you in his lap, “you're safe.”

Safe.

You hadn’t been safe in a long time. 

And yet, here you were feeling safer then you had in years, with a man who should’ve been dead.

Your man. 

The love of your life. 

He was here. 

He was alive. 

You could hear his heart beating as you snuggled into his chest, savoring the all too familiar scent of Vander….smoke, fire and alcohol, mixing together with a small amount of cologne he loved to wear. 

“You’re alive…” you breathed, tentatively reaching out to touch his cheek. 

He seemed different. 

But in a good way.

The dark circles that were once under his eyes were pretty much all but gone; and his eyes seemed happier than when you knew him, as though he was free from all the stress that once plagued him. 

“Course I am, darl,” he assured you with a small smile; before pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, hoping that his small action would be able to ease your mind. 

It didn’t. Not really at least. 

You were so confused. 

You didn't understand what was happening.

You tried to blink back the tears that were forming in your eyes, tried to keep yourself together so you could figure out what was happening. 

So you could think logically. 

But there was nothing logical about any of this…the arcane….magic…it wasn’t something that was logical. 

But now, being wrapped up in Vanders arms again, made you want to throw logic to the wind and just stay like this with him for as long as you possible could, not knowing how long this could last.

You didn’t know what was happening, or how, or why; all you knew was that Vander was here. 

That was all that mattered.

Taglist:

@xacatalepsyx @barbersjoy @conretewings @the-lone-librarian @cass-brightwood @fortune-fool02 @arielpanda1 @mothratic @simping-ella @stickyrice5096 @levis-butterfingers @lesbianinyourarea @eternallyvenus @trixiex2 @nagislemontea @dazecrea @littlejoyfullthing

[meracyn]

heyyy could u write a one shot of kwon x reader where they weren't able to see each other for months (reader travelled to a different country and he had to go to the tournament) but reader finally had the chance to go to the sekai taikai and surprises him? maybe suggestive ;) But fluff is ok too, thank youn!

a/n: LMAOOO SNEAKY ANON but yk what ill do it (hes too fine). crazy how i wrote the bf hcs of him yesterday and now i got 3 reqs lmao, not complaining tho. also i want to find good icons to put on my kwon reqs but I CANT CHOOSE,,

warnings; SUGGESTIVE, cursing (only like..once), uhh thats all i think

Kwon stood up along with the rest of the Cobra Kai members, barely paying attention to the announcements being said at the moment— too deep in thought— thoughts of you.

The past few months were hard. Not just for him, for you too. You had to travel to another country for a while due to a family emergency regarding a very ill relative. Although you both facetimed and texted everyday, the distance was still there. It wasn’t the same.

The Sekai Taikai was able to get Kwon to focus on the tournament, but even so it wasn’t enough. His mind kept drifting off to you. He never thought your absence would affect him that much, but ever since you told him you had to stay there longer, he felt the ache in his chest deepen with each passing day. He probably wouldn’t say it out loud, but he missed you. A lot.

As everyone was allowed to leave, Kwon let out a sigh, head tilted a bit low as he walked with the rest of his dojo. What was up with him? He won every match he had, why did it not fuel him up with satisfaction anymore? Even messing around with other dojos wasn’t becoming as fun. It frustrated him.

“Hey, wanna go with us to a bar nearby later?” Yoon went up to him, slightly nudging his shoulder with his elbow.

Kwon snapped out of his thoughts, and stopped walking. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea, he could forget about the emptiness in his heart. “..Sure, why not. I could use some distraction.” He replied. Without saying anything else, he walked away.

· · ·

You let out a sigh of relief after managing to get inside the building where the tournament was being held. You may or may not have lied your way in by saying you were one of Cobra Kai’s backups and Sensei Kim requested you come here as an emergency.

Those at the desk were a bit skeptical, but thankfully didn’t question any further and let you pass.

You walked past the big hallways, trying to think where the rooms were, thinking he was probably resting. You couldn’t wait to see him again— his eyes, his hair, that stupid yet charming smirk he had on his face.

Suddenly, you passed by a teenage guy scrolling through his phone. Maybe he knew Kwon, it was worth asking.

“Uh..excuse me,” You started, a bit nervous as you walked up to him. “Do you know the room number Kwon Jae-Sung is staying in?”

Demetri looked up, an eyebrow raised at the..random question. Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one didn’t cross his mind. He glanced around the room, noticing how it was only you and him. “I don’t think..I can give out that information.” He replied.

“Oh, no. It’s not like that—” You said quickly. “I’m his partner. I wanted to see if he’s okay.”

“Partner?” Demetri repeated. “As in, sparring partner? Then you should kn—”

“No!” You exclaimed, interrupting him. You cleared your throat before continuing, “I meant..I’m his partner..romantically.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Demetri said, before nodding slightly. He leaned in to whisper the room number, then sat back down. “I’m sure he’s doing very fine.. but that’s the number.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Relief washed over you, as you quickly left, going to the elevators.

Demetri watched as you left, before his eyes widened. “Wait. What if they’re not his partner?”

· · ·

Kwon got out of the elevator, laughing along with his team members who were all drunk and held onto each other for support.

Being at the bar did help him be distracted for a while, drinking along while the rest were doing bets on who could drink the most without getting drunk at all.

“Hey, why don’t we go out again for some more fun? It isn’t too late,” One of them suggested.

“Not a bad idea. Let’s go,— Kwon, you comin’?”

“Nah, I’m good. You guys go ahead.” He said. The others left, leaving him alone.

He opened the door to his room, shutting it behind him and turned on the lock. Walking over to his bed, he began to take off his shirt and draped a towel around his waist. Just as he was going to enter the shower, a finger tapped on his shoulder.

As he turned around, he was taken by surprise.

You were standing there, with a mischievous smile.

How did you get in his room? Was he dreaming? Was he too tired after training? Did he drink too much? Did he—

“I got you~!” You said with a chuckle.

He couldn’t feel his heartbeat— he couldn’t believe it. You were here, in front of him. After months of longing, of only talking through a screen, you were standing right there, your bodies’ mere inches away from the other. Without thinking, he closed the distance between you two, pulling you into his arms.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” he mumbled into your hair, his fingers tracing the curve of your back, feeling the warmth of your body against his.

You laughed softly, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Yeah..and you did,” He replied. “but now that you’re here..” His eyes trailed over your body up and down, voice low. The tension built between you both was obvious, the look in his eyes said it.

His lips twitched into a smirk, pulling you close to him again, “Tell me my love, did you miss me a lot?” He asked, in a teasing yet flirtatious tone.

“Maybe, who knows?” you mumbled, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, “Want to find out?”

Kwon didn’t reply, his lips crashing on yours as his hands instinctively held onto your waist. The kiss deepened, hinting at the need that every inch of his body begged for. It was obvious to you—he wanted more.

Your fingers went up his chest, your other hand pulling him even closer to you–if that was possible.

He pulled away for a second, as your eyes met. His dark eyes were full of lust, but also shone with a hint of mischief. Before you knew it, Kwon leaned in again, kissing your jaw and trailing down to your collarbone. Removing a hand that was on your hip, he held onto your leg, lifting it up as you curled it around his waist.

Kwon kept kissing your body, the sounds that left your lips only fueling his desire. He had your back pressed against the wall, and began to take off your shirt.

“Fuck..” He silently cursed to himself as he looked up to see your expression— cheeks red as you tried to steady your breathing.

“Looking like a mess, how cute. And just for me, right?”

You nodded frantically, wanting him to stop teasing and continue.

Knowing you were desperate, Kwon chuckled. “Don’t worry love, after so many months apart, I’m not done with you just yet.”

HELP I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED I FEEL LIKE I DID SO BAD ON THIS 💀 well it was definitely interesting to do lol..time to work on those other requests now

[urlocaldesertdweller]

Hi hi !!!

Hope you’re doing well. Being loving your writing lately. 💞 keep up the amazing work !!

If you’re taking any requests. Could I please ask for a part 2 for Sentinel x Racer reader. I really liked the idea. Especially how you wrote it from an almost canon perspective of how it started from him just being irked that we were as popular as him lol 😂 It’d be cool to see how you continue the idea with maybe even Orion and D-16 in there.

Of course there’s no rush or pressure. Take care and I hope you keep doing what you love.

-anon

Tf1! Sentinel Prime x Cybertronain racer! Reader

THANK YOUUU!!<333333 for the compliments and ideas of my older stuff!!

(sentinel being possessive, daresay yandere, manipulation i think?)

As we know and knew, Sentinel loves to think of himself much higher than most other bots in comparison. He is a Prime after all!

However you became an exception.

An exception that would be way more special to Sentinel than he’d like to admit.

Although we know he likes to do subtle touches in public. He prefers to keep the relationship outside of business, he claims it just makes things messy for both of you. Considering you are both still highly beloved icons.

Another part of him is to protect you, when an enemy of sorts would use someone close to him to get him in a weak spot but he’ll rather die than admit he is afraid butttttt.

The media in public is so entertaining to the two of you when they talk about this “odd friendship” between The Sentinel Prime and Iacon’s best racer. A good chuckle can be shared when they describe it as nearly a mentor and trainee thing going on.

Going back to the difference of him in public and in more private quarters.

Of course the high and mighty Prime ego never falters. Its mainly the affection from touches and words coming from his lips.

The transition can be overall sudden at the very least. From being the very casual friendly Prime façade he uses for nearly everyone below him, to him sweet talking you. At times it almost feels like Sentinel is trying to drag you away from post race interviews just so he can lay his servos on you.

He almost seems pent up at times. Desperate is a word he hates but it makes things so much more interesting! Although he feels rather dominant in this odd relationship, you know some of his own weaknesses.

Whenever he leaves to “fight and fend off the quintessons, and retrieve the Matrix of Leadership” you found a very consistent pattern of him being nearly weak in the knees for you when he returns.

Tried of keeping this act up for all of Iacon. All he wants to do is rest in your arms, seeing you, hearing you, feeling you. And there you’ll sit awaiting for him, for him to rest his helm on your lap. (Totally thinking about the Jayce and Mel pose from Arcane season 2, episode 1)

Needless to say you have a very special and deep connection, where Sentinel can get to a level of weakness to you and only you. You cant help but find some power within that.

At times you can toy with him, denying your sweet love and affection. When he’s tired hell whine and beg, which is very rare. When he’s not? He’ll only tolerate so much before he’ll take you in his servos himself. Reminding you who has the power in this relationship.

When he is present in Iacon he’ll try to attend everything that you are involved in, races, trainings, interviews, meetings, speeches. Though he’ll be very supportive of your racing career, he doesn’t want the public to see a pattern.

But his support can go a little too far..

At times he still intentionally rigged a race or two just to see his lover win yet another race. From adding sudden obstacles that trigger just for the other competitors, to allowing short cuts just for you<3

If you eventually catch him he’ll try very hard to appear that he never did such a thing! From the innocent optics and gentle calm voice. He loves watching you get feisty at times. It’s what made you so interesting to him.

Speaking of your racing career, of course you have tons of fans. Dare to say you have nearly an equal amount of fans compared to Sentinel! It was one of the other reasons Sentinel wanted you.

Of course some of these fans were none other than Orion Pax and D-16. A pair of miners that get excited just like that rest when you are available to have one on one times with your fans!

Somehow through Orion’s tricky trouble making and dragging D-16 through it all. They seemingly managed to see you last minute out of breath and nearly caught by other bots, Darkwing.

You couldn’t help it! They were so charming that you stopped Darkwing from getting rid of them. To which he stomps off grumbling “miners.” under hist breath.

Orion was extremely thankful that you were even kinder in person! And D-16 was in shock from the whole entire thing alone. With each a firm and warm handshake, they both admired the action of being touched by the best Iacon racer ever.

Their compliments and praise seemed to be never ending. Even after to tried to make room for causal conversation. You couldn’t help but feel a bit of flirt from Orion? Honestly it didn’t get to you though, you are nearly always flirted by your fans. Which for along time you knew how to not let it easily get to you.

Orion and D were an adorable pair, their wonderful personalities made you smile and laugh. In fact the whole deal made you stay overtime, but it was worth it to the very end.

By the time you return to your shared private quarters with Sentinel he looks less than amused.

Turns out Darkwing snitched on you, told Sentinel that some “cog-less miners” were keeping you on overtime with your schedule one on one times with the common bots of Iacon.

Sentinel looked of a mix of emotions to say less.

But you knew right then and there it was less about the cog-less miners and more about the flirting. Since Sentinel was already pretty possessive alone with the relationship between you and your fans.

You’d try to make light of it, saying it was only just some quick praise with two fans. Then Sentinel would take your wrist in his servos tightly and pull you close.

Sentinel would scold you, as he wraps his other servo around your frame enclosing you within a cage of him.

He says this is only for him to “protect” you. Though you are perfectly capable of protecting yourself. And no more one on one times unless he is there to watch you closely.

His once tight servos lets go to cradle your fave plate lovingly. He stand to guide you to your shared resting quarters. His servos forever attached somewhere on to you, like a leash you never knew you wore.

[kooksvspogues]

Happy 1st Birthday Lilian!! 🥳

Part 3 -

Authors note: I am so touched at the love and support I have gotten from every single one of you. Hope you enjoy part 3 just as much, thank you for being here! ❤️ and don’t forget that every bit of feedback is greatly appreciated!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay okay, put it back, let it do it’s magic” she laughed grabbing the bottle from me as I give her a look. “Nope, I don’t like that look, I know what it means. Like I said earlier, just keep an open mind about it, okay?” She whispered

“Yeah, totally” I answer back before she smiles and pulls me towards the patio. I look around trying to find Lilian only to find her still in Drew’s arms, “can I have her?” I walk over to him sitting at the table.

“Yeah..” he starts, handing her over to me, “you look great, by the way” he whispers to me when I lean down to grab her

“Thanks, you too.” I say, immediately feeling myself cringe on the inside as I stand back up straight.

“You ready?” Mack asks walking up to me with Lil’s floaty.

“Lils, you ready to go swiiiim?” I say to her tapping her chest with my pointer finger making her smile and kick her legs around, “well I’ll take that as a yes” I laugh following Mack down the steps of the pool, feeling chill bumps go all over my body as soon as my feet touch the cool water.

Once my body starts to adjust to the cool water, I go in more and slowly let Lil’s feet go in the water, bringing them up quickly allowing her to adjust too, a little at a time until she was completely good. I sat her in her floaty and pushed her around talking to Mack.

“Y’all want a drink?” Logan hollers to us

“Yeah, hand me two of those wine coolers” Mack tells him, “I’ve been wanting you to try one of these” she tells me as she goes over the side to wait on Logan to bring them to her.

I grab one of Lilian’s pool toys and hand it to her, keeping my focus on her completely. Who wouldn’t? She’s adorable. But when I glance up to grab the wine cooler out of Mack’s hands, I see two sets of blue eyes on me.

“Don’t ever grow up Lilian” I whisper to her in a silly voice causing her to smile up at me. I glance back up for a second, catching the one set of eyes still looking at me, Drew. Manspreading, leaned back, both of his hands interlocked against the back of his head, watching me, slowly starting to smirk at me once he realizes I’m staring too, but water being splashed on me quickly grabs my attention, I look over to see Logan underwater swimming up next to me

“Y’all stop being boring and get in!” Mack yells at the boys still up on the deck.

“That any good?” Logan asked splashing me again

“Huh? What do you mean?” I ask

“The drink?” He asked looking at me confused

“Oh um…” I say looking down, realizing I haven’t even opened it. I pull the tab quickly and take a sip, “it’s alright, wanna try?” I answer quickly as he just laughs.

“Mhmm” he chuckles taking the cab from me

“What?” I ask quickly

“Nothing at all Mads” he smiled making me look at him confused.

“Stop being weird” I said pushing him lightly

“Who’s being weird?” Austin asks walking up to us, smiling at me.

“Logan, per usual” I laugh as Mack and Chase both join us.

“You love it” Logan says as I reach up and pat his cheek

“So much” I say giving him a sarcastic smile as he rolls his eyes.

“Drew, bring your ass!” Logan yells as we all glance up at him still sitting in the chair. He looks unsure at first but I quickly give him a small smile and he quickly gets up, walking towards the steps to get in before walking over towards us.

“Anybody want to play a game?” Austin asks

“Like what?” Chase asks

“Uhh, Mack, don’t you have that inflatable beer pong table?” He asks

“Ooo yeah, it’s in the closet, let me go get it, Maddie, come help with the drinks” she says grabbing my hand dragging me towards the steps before drying ourselves off and heading inside to find the beer pong table.

“What are we putting in the solo cups?” I ask her

“Vodka?” She asks and I start laughing

“Really? Vodka?” I laugh

“I think it’ll be fine” she smiled

“Me and vodka don’t mix, you know that” I tell her crossing my arms

“Then you better hope nobody makes it in your cup” she smiled at me as she pulled out the box with the table in it, “got it, gonna take this to the boys, be right back to help with the drinks.” I walked into the kitchen to find the solo cups and the bottle of vodka.

“Need any help?” Austin smiled coming around the corner

“I might could use your help with carrying everything out” I smiled

“I can do that, Mack is trying to find the air pump, so she asked me to come help” he said

“Of course she did” I chuckled shaking my head slightly

“So uh, how’d you and Mack meet?” He asked

“College, freshman year, we were 2 dorms down from each other and ended up becoming good friends and after first semester, we were roommates till we graduated” I explained

“She’s pretty awesome” he says

“The best” I agree

“You from here or?” He asked

“Born and raised, what about you?” I ask looking up at him

“Ohio actually” he smiled

“I’ve never met anybody from Ohio before” I chuckle

“Well now ya have” he smiled, “and what an honor it is to be your first” he said before scrunching his nose and eyes, his cheeks going tomato red “that sounded a lot better in my head”

“You’re good, it happens” I laugh, “but I do think we should just take the cups and vodka out fill them up outside instead of in here” I point out

“I agree, here, I’ll take it” he said reaching over to grab the cups and bottle. “Whose idea was vodka?” He raised an eyebrow as I cocked my head up at him, raising my eyebrows. “Nevermind” he said making me laugh as I lead the way out towards the back, closing the door behind him.

They have the beer pong table aired up and waiting in the water for the cups. I hop in the water before reaching up for Austin to hand me the cups before sliding into the water after me. I walk over to the table where Drew is, holding it still for me as I start putting cups in the slot.

“Thanks for holding it” I smile at him

“Oh it’s no big deal” he smiled at me as I finished up putting the cups in, turning to look for Austin, reaching out for the bottle as he quickly handed it over. I turn back around and start filling up the cups.

“Who’s on what team?” Mack asks

“I’ll take Maddie” Austin says and I immediately notice Drew’s shoulders drop.

“I’m really not that good, you sure you don’t want somebody else?” I ask Austin

“I can teach you a few tricks if I need to” he smiles sweetly down at me

“Um yea.. okay” I said smiling back at him slightly

“Drew, me and you against Maddie and Austin?” Logan asks

“Yea. Sure bro” Drew says looking me in my eyes before turning to walk to the other side of the table.

“Your going down Mads” Logan says

“In your dreams Logan” I tease back

“Like I said earlier, done and done” he winked and I faked gagging making all the boys laugh, “yeah, you did that in the dream too” Logan laughed

“Oh my God, stop!” I yell laughing covering my eyes making the boys laugh harder, “somebody throw” I laugh pointing at Drew and Logan

“What we doing? We land, whoever want to, drinks, or do y’all want to have a chosen person for each person?” Logan asks

“If I land it, Mads drinks mine” Drew says looking at me very intently

“Right back at ya Starkey” I sass as he raises an eyebrow at me before smirking

“You’re on” he says before getting situated before throwing his ping pong ball and of course making it into one.

“Get to drinking” he winked as I rolled my eyes as I waited on Logan to throw his, him making it into a cup to. Both, me and Austin rolling our eyes laughing, pulling the ball out of each cup and bringing the cup to our lips and downing it quickly. We both shake our heads as the burning feeling goes down our throat before getting ready to take our shots. Austin went first, making it into the front cup as I give him a high five.

“You wanna try first or want a little help?” Austin asked placing his hand at the base of my back, immediately making me more nervous.

“Let me try” I smile up at him and try to get myself in the right position and that’s when I feel Drew’s eyes on me too. I glance up to meet his eyes and raise my eyebrows, making him do it right back before smirking too.

“You nervous Mads?” Drew asked

“Shut up” I say laughing

“You got it Maddie!” Mack yells from the side of the pool with Lilian so I just go for it and take a shot. Which lands right between 2 cups making me groan and throw my head back.

“It’s okay! We’ll get em next time” Austin says wrapping an arm around me and patting my waist lightly as I wrapped an arm around his waist as we watch Logan chug his drink before it’s their turn to throw again.

Logan throws first and misses putting his hands on the top of his head watching as Drew throws his ball…. Right into their third cup. My eyes rolling immediately before grabbing the cup and pulling the ball out before drinking the contents.

Austin steps away to grab his ball and make a toss and smoothly lands into a cup. “You got this, just breathe” he whispers to me as I smile up at him stepping up to the middle of the board, taking a deep breath before making a toss that ended up in our third cup.

“Hell yeah! Drink Starkey’s” I yell before laughing as we happily watch them drink.

Eventually we’re both down to our last cup, all of us feeling the alcohol and adrenaline of beating each other. “Person that has gotten most cups from each team goes for the last cup?” Logan offers

“Yeah, Maddie, go” Austin says pushing me forward as Drew steps up to the other side, “you get two tries.”

“Burgers are ready!” Garrett yells

“2 minutes!” Mack yells back as she’s watching us intensely.

“You go” I tell Drew

“Ladies first” he says

“That’s why I told you to go” I sass and he cocks his head smirking at me as everyone else is saying “ooooo”and “daaaaang” as Drew starts to nod before getting ready to take his shot. First shot… missed… he grabbed the second ball and kissed it quickly before getting ready to take his throw and when he does, the ball hits the rim of the cup and bounces off onto the table making me jump up.

“You’ll do great, you got this” Austin says grabbing both of my shoulders from behind shaking me slightly making me laugh before I get ready to take my first shot. Missed. I grab the second ball and toss it, going straight into the last cup.

“OHHHHH!” Austin yells picking me up as we both raise an arm in victory before he puts me back down, Drew watching me closely as I step closer to him grabbing the final cup and lifting it up to him.

“Drink up Starkey” I wink as he smirks, keeping eye contact with me as he pulls the ball out of the cup and downs the liquid.

“Good game beautiful” he winks before walking towards the side of the pool pulling himself up and out of the pool as we all follow behind him to go get a burger.

Since there wasn’t enough room for everyone to take a seat, Mack went and sat in Garrett’s lap since he already made her burger while the rest of us got in line to make our own. Austin and Drew were on the short bench while Logan and a chase got the other two chairs available.

“Here, come sit with us” Austin said standing up and scooting over to give me enough room between him and Drew. I smile and step over the seat and take a seat, crossing my legs as Austin sat back down giving me a smile before taking a bite.

After eating, we all just sat around, joking and laughing. Truly allowing the full buzz to take effect. At some point while we were all joking, Austin’s hand found his way right above my knee and has been there since, caressing his thumb against my skin while the set of eyes on the other side of me was shooting daggers into his hand and burning a hole through me every time we caught each others eyes.

As it got darker, Mack asked me if I wanted to help with Lilian’s bath and getting her to go to sleep, which I happily jumped up to help.

Sitting between two very attractive men, one side of you feeling like a knife couldn’t even touch the tension while the other side was so carefree felt really weird so any excuse to get away from that, I was gonna take it.

“Well Austin seems to be enjoying you” Mack says as we walked into the bathroom.

“Yeah he’s nice” I state

“Nice? What’s ‘nice’ mean?” She asked looking at me

“That he’s nice?” I say raising an eyebrow

“Like he’s nice as in you’ll give him a shot or he’s nice but no?” She asked turning the water on for the bath

“Nice and I’m okay with him being a friend” I explain

“Who was this guy?” She asked as she pulled off Lil’s swimsuit and placed her into her tub in the tub.

“What guy?” I ask

“The guy that has had you so hung up forever about him, it feels like” she says

“It’s really not important Mack” I tell her

“Well I think it is, cause because of whoever this guy was, you haven’t been able to get past him and we’re not getting any younger” she tells me

“I know” I say looking down, wishing I could tell her.

“You know we’ve told each other everything, what is so different about this?” She asks

“It just is Mack, I’ll get over eventually, maybe that will be with Austin, maybe it’ll be in months or maybe even years, but I’ll figure it out” I tell her

“Why can’t you figure it out with that guy?” She asks as she rinses Lilian off

“It’s complicated” I say

“You’re complicated” she laughed

“Trust me, I know” I laughed

“Well, just so you know for the millionth time, I’m always here, no judgment, about anything and everything” she smiles

“Yea, I know” I smile back just as Lilian yawns real big and starts to cry

“I know you’re tired, I’m almost done baby” Mack talks to her rinsing the soap off of her bow before letting the water out.

“You want to try putting her down?” Mack asks me

“I’d love too” I smile widely

“Awesome, she has pjs, diaper, and lotion on her changing table, I’ll go and get a bottle ready for her” Mack says as she hands Lilian over to me before taking her to her room.

I go over to her changing table and dry her off, brush her hair, put on a diaper, then lotion, then her onesie. As she kept on wiping her eyes and yawning, I grabbed a book off of her shelf and went and sat in the rocker chair. I started to read to her, her eyes slowly starting to give in to the rest she so desperately wanted, but was woken up once Mack walked back in with her bottle, her hand’s immediately reaching out for it.

“You’re so good with her” Mack smiled down at me

“She’s just a great baby” I say

“I’m so ready for you to be a momma” she pouts at me

“Go back outside” I laugh pointing at the door as she rolls her eyes before walking out to the door, dimming the light on her way out.

Not too long after, Lilian was out, sleeping like the adorable baby she is. I slowly stood up and rocked her in my arms slowly while I walked over to her bed, slowly putting her down onto the mattress. I walk out of her room and slowly close the door, when I turn around, I’m face to face with Drew.

“Hey” I whisper putting my finger over my mouth, telling him to be quiet as he nods. I start to head to the stairs but that plan is changed when I feel his hand grab my wrist and pull me towards the guest room that I am staying in.

“What are you doing? Let go!” I whisper yell at him as he closes the door and turns to look at me

“What are you doing? Austin? Really?” He asks throwing his hand up

“What are you talking about?” I ask

“Are you trying to make me jealous or something?” He asks and I laugh

“Really? No, there is no part of me that is trying to make you jealous, what is so wrong with Austin?” I ask

“Because it’s Austin and it’s you” he says stepping closer to me

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask

“He doesn’t deserve you” he says

“There’s nothing going on between us Drew” I point out

“His hands are on you every chance they get, he obviously thinks there is something” Drew says, “you know what, if you can stand there and tell me that there is nothing towards me, at all, then I’ll leave it alone”

“Drew..” I say as I watch him step closer to me, putting one of his hands on my waist while the other is placed on my jaw, my hand landing on his bicep, while our eyes stay locked.

“Just tell me, tell me you don’t feel anything right now” he says leaning in closer, our nose’s touching. “And I’ll leave it alone” he says leaning in even closer to where our lips are touching lightly, both of our eyes shut.

“Drew we can’t do this” I tell him

“Tell me you don’t feel anything” he says, feeling every word off his lips against mine, just before pressing his lips against mine, now to kiss me. His lips felt so soft and right against mine, I couldn’t help but kiss him back, that is, until I hear Mack’s voice in the back of my head.

“We can’t do this” I push myself away from him quickly, “we made a deal, stick to it Starkey” I say turning to walk out of the room and rushing downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @percysley @dilfs-4life

[hailthedoll]

Hiiii i love your blogs i’ve been following gaga for AT LEAST a year now and i’m so happy your back! Could you write a NSFW Euronymous hc? Anything NSFW please i'm needy.

✭ euronymous nsfw headcannon ✭

i love you so much for one requesting and two following my page for that long. thanks bitch<3 PSA, if you do not support or agree with my post or feel the need to leave a hateful/judgemental comment kindly fuck off and move on. with much love-knotty<<<333

LISTEN

im gonna say this flat out, i feel like he lowkey is childish with stuff like this

like giggly

a friendly reminder euronymous and øystein are the same person with different personalities

so øystein

this man was BLUSHING the first couple times he saw you naked

then that turned into just staring at you in awe and he hasn't really stopped doing that since

hes gentle

hes more of a giver than a receiver imo

its easier for him to finish than it is for you and he knows this

so making you more so of a priority in his mind is the obvious choice

he wants to make sure you're okay and it feels good for you before he worries about himself

but when he does worry about himself this man is vocal

not necessarily dirty talk

more so like quiet moans, whispers, small grunts and sighs

he loves head tho

when he gets head those are the moments where he can be GREEDY

he pushes your head down, you choke

"shit sorry"

and then the motherfucker will do it again

i see him being very much into missionary

he wants to see you

how you react to things

how you're feeling

the look on your face tells him what he needs to be doing

he will go down whenever

for however long

if it takes all day he's got time

he enjoys it

is it the taste? is it your body twitching under him? is it your moans?

he doesnt know, but its addicting

and he's got that "nobody else makes you feel this way" or "nobody else can make you sound like this" attitude

that really gets him feeling some sort of way

he will practically beg for you to sit on his face

a million pleases until you say yes

and its like he's more excited for it than you are

him praising you

AGAIN not in a dirty talk way but more like

"you look so beautiful" while you are FOLDED

definitely would keep a polaroid of you(iykwim) in his wallet, hidden behind some cash or maybe behind a more appropriate picture of you

possessive in a doesn't want a threesome way

like doesn't want anybody touching you or seeing you the way he does

he absolutely loves to show you off and brag about you to everyone and hear people compliment you but he would never let it go past that

pre show sex

it may take some convincing or teasing him to get him to actually do it in public but after the first time he is all for it everytime

after show sex

if this man is wanting to fuck you after a show, he is still in this mindset where he isnt øystein, hes euronymous

and if that's case you're getting a cocky motherfucker

hes high on adrenaline

he just spent a solid what hour? two hours? listening to people cheer for him

like yeah this mans ego is FED

this is the time he'd be more aggressive

more vocal

yes ACTUALLY dirty talk

PRAISING

he is still more focused on you than himself but its closer to 50/50 than what it normally is

i think his actions are based on your likes

if you like your hair being pulled itll more likely happen when he's in this mindset where isn't himself and he's this persona

because øystein is worried about hurting you

not saying he wouldnt

im just saying its more likely when you get him out of the mindset of you being like this person he wants to love and protect

lets face it, he is a small man

he is not tall and he is not big nor buff

in his eyes hes like your protector

hes the man in the relationship

or the masculine(?) one

and that's just nature for him

so hurting you?

is the LAST thing he wants to do to you

ok aftercareeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

at home he's gonna cling to you

hug you, hold you, kiss you

you ever seen that picture where he was staring at the bird

did you see the way that man was staring at that bird?

you're the bird.

thats how that man stares at you

softly smiling, his eyes full of love

would probs just have you fall asleep in his arms

if you are not home

sly looks

smirks and grins coming your way

little whispers commenting about what y'all just did

and how nobody knows what just happened

like a proud moment

like yeah we did that

he'd kiss you a couple times

hold your hand

or just stare at you and smile

no matter who he is in that moment that man is GEEKING

HE just did the deed with YOU

how did he get so lucky

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 20)

Hello lovelies, and welcome back to Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics! It's been a while, and for that, I'm sorry. I've been (and still am) going through a bit of a depressive episode. November's typically a tough month for me for a couple of reasons, but it hit harder than usual this year. Still, I wanted to come back and bring you another installment of Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics, just in case anyone needs a little Sterek to get them by like I have.

Side note: I'm actually thinking of doing a some, like, "feature" posts where I rec a single fic at a time, regardless of whether or not I've already rec'd it through this series, and actually explain what I like about the fics. Give a little endorsement, if you will. As much as I love all of the fics I have recommended throughout this series, I definitely have some go-to staple fics that I re-read with far more frequency than others. I can think of at least 3 off of the top of my head right this second...

Idk. Would any of you be interested in that? I might do it no matter what, just to have something to engage my brain a bit, but I have also been nearly catatonic with brain fog and just a general exhaustion of life, so. We'll see.

Okay, enough of my yappin'!

As ever and always, thank you all so much for all of the love and support you've shown this series. It genuinely warms my heart when I get a notification for this series, and I appreciate you all so much. I hope you've all found some new favorites and/or got to dig back into an old favorite or two along the way. There won't be too many more parts, but I'm going to try to stretch this bitch out to 25 parts because it's a tasty number to my brain.

I hope you're all having a good day, if not a great one! Smoochies and squeezies, lovelies!

List and links to previous parts below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

************************************************************************

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Horror of Our Love by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 1/1 | 4,941)

"I'm not wearing a muzzle," Derek snaps.

"Look, if you wear this then we're golden! There's no way you can bite through this, Deaton said so."

"Oh well, if Deaton says," Derek says snidely. It's a silly argument. Sure, Deaton is shady and enjoys bending the truth on occasion, but unless it's a complex assassination plan he wouldn't lie about this. Something that Stiles knows that Derek is aware of.

"There's really no reason for him to lie," Stiles points out. "What's your real problem with it?"

"It's demeaning," Derek says through gritted teeth.

"What? No! Lots of werewolves have to wear one of these," Stiles says, waving the muzzle around. The leather and clasps jingle.

Derek sneers at him. "Wolves who can't control themselves."

"Pot and kettle, buddy. Wait, wait," Stiles says hurriedly when Derek turns to leave, "let's just... let's try it, okay? Come on, have I steered us wrong before?"

-

In which Derek can't control himself while having sex with Stiles and needs to be muzzled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Burial Rituals by aurevell (G | 1/1 | 4,989)

The necromancer freezes halfway over the fence, stuttering to a halt the second Derek flashes his red eyes. It’s an awkward pose to hold: leg hiked up over the waist-high bars, hands gripping the rail for balance. The fence’s wrought-iron spears dig into his calf a bit as he settles, clearly caught off guard.

“Uh,” he says lamely, his face pale in the scant moonlight. “Shit.”

Derek guards an abandoned cemetery. Stiles is the necromancer trying to break in.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Devoured by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 5,298)

Breathless, Stiles shifted his gaze up and went red from the knowing smirk on the deific face. The man’s red eyes sparkled in the moonlight, glowing like two fires on the tips of the candles. One of his thick eyebrows was lifted in amusement.

He was the most beautiful being Stiles had ever seen. As was probably expected, considering he was the god of sexual desire.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Satisfaction Brought It Back by Snare (E | 1/1 | 7,223)

Derek doesn't know how nobody else seems to notice the large, ever-present bulge in Stiles' jeans. He can't help but be curious about it, he just - he just wants.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lay Me Out by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 2/2 | 8,967)

"This is weird," Stiles tells him. His hands are still on Derek's chest. "Is this weird? Are you even sentient enough to think things are weird?"

Derek's tail wags back and forth, brushing against his calves and stirring up the fallen leaves. And the licking? It doesn't stop. Derek keeps at it, licking Stiles' cheeks, his forehead, that sensitive spot behind his ears. Stiles tries to twist away, much braver now that he hasn't been mauled, but there's no escape.

"Okay," Stiles croaks out. He pushes at Derek's shoulders, his chest. "Let me up, big guy, come on."

When Derek doesn't move, Stiles arches up, trying to wriggle free, but then he feels something wet and sticky against his stomach where his shirt has ridden up. He cranes his neck down and sees Derek's dick. It's distinctly non-human; red, with a tapered tip. Clear fluid drips from it.

"Oh holy god," he says, horrified and fascinated. "Is that - oh fuck."

-

In which Derek has sex with Stiles while in the Alpha form

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to be with those I like by sheafrotherdon (E | 1/1 | 9,323)

It's Deaton who tells Derek that Stiles is back in town, a broken marriage behind him, his daughter in tow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How We Got Here by Areiton (E | 1/1 | 9,718)

Maybe if you fight the creatures of the night together like they did, if you bury enough friends and strangers and enemies, you don’t lose touch.

He thinks that’s why he and Derek are friends--because Derek understands his nightmares, understands the nights when he can’t talk, and the nights he can’t stand the dark.

OR: Against all odds and expectations, Stiles and Derek have become respectable adults ( WHY?) and friends.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lunches, Knitting and Definitely Not Dating by attackofthezee (noxlunate), noxlunate (T | 1/1 | 10,107)

“So, I uh, managed to get myself pregnant.”

“You what?!”

“Got myself pregnant. Y’know, up the duff, knocked up, a bun in the oven, in a family way, eating for two, with child. I could go on Dad, really, stop me before I exhaust the list of pregnancy euphemisms. There’s still caught an 18 year STD, my eggo is preggo, building a person-“

“Stiles.”

“Hosting a parasite, harboring a fugitive-“

(Just a weird mpreg fic with Derek and Stiles totally kinda dating without realizing it, and Stiles figuring out this whole having a baby thing.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(they say) this should feel something like fire by dallisons (E | 1/1 | 11,163)

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

"Turn it off." The pack looked up, stunned into silence by the first words they'd heard from him in weeks.

Stiles stood, trembling - his knees weak. He tried to run and collapsed, his bad leg failing him once again. Derek caught him. "Turn it off," he said, his voice unmistakably a growl.

The water continued leaking from the loose faucet, and all Stiles heard was Erica's blood against the concrete. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever Our Souls Are Made Of by Lissadiane (NR | 1/1 | 14,953)

It's a cold, snowy night and Stiles is halfway through his shift at the campus coffee shop when a tall, dark and handsome stranger walks in, one who seems unaware that he's being haunted by a wolf.

In which Stiles Stilinski sees the ghosts of animals with unfinished business, and Derek Hale is unaware that his dearly departed sister left a few things unfinished.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Untouchable by Hedwig221b (E | 1/1 | 17,128)

The day Stiles Stilinski entered the Berkeley campus was the day all the alphas went absolutely fucking nuts.

See, omegas were rare, even more than redheads. Got to be extremely fucking lucky to even see one in a lifetime. They were supposed to be these ethereal creatures of beauty and elegance, irresistible and blinding.

And Stiles Stilinski was exactly that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Camaro '68 by ZainClaw (E | 1/1 | 17,707)

Derek huffs, arching one eyebrow. "I'm not a fugitive." "You look like a fugitive," Stiles insists, practically beaming. "Maybe you should start wearing cardigans."

In which Stiles is a hitchhiker and Derek a runaway whose paths cross at a gas station in the California desert.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit (T | 1/1 | 18,010)

“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.

--

Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? by Renmackree (T | 9/9 | 18,399)

Scott frowned, grabbing the game case and reading it out loud.

“Become the Hero you've always wanted to be. Battle monsters, witches, dragons, and all the mythical beasts of the World of Fantasy. Play as a Human, Elf, Dwarf and other special races included in the basic game. Stiles this so stupid. Who the hell would want to play as a Werewolf?” Scott threw the game back on the bed and leaned back in the chair.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We Only Get Better by Ninna_7 (T | 8/8 | 22,741)

Stiles doesn't call him these days. Not since he left Beacon Hills that last time. Not since Stiles left the FBI internship programme in favour of studying Forensic Psychology at NYU. Stiles has texted him a few times in the past, but he never called. Not anymore. Back then, however, whenever Derek received a call from Stiles or called Stiles in return, it was purely for survival's sake. So Derek doesn't know what to expect from this call. If he's being honest, he's scared of it.

x

Or: It's been years since Stiles and Derek last spoke, but a phone call from the human reconnects them. They have the chemistry, the history and the shared trauma. With time and each other, maybe they can have more.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

part-time soulmate, full-time problem by Renmackree (E | 1/1 | 27,111)

Stiles had seen it all in his five years of supernatural shenanigans, but never in his life would he have guessed returning to Derek's old stomping grounds in New York, especially under the guise of Derek's magical Mate.

It was going to be an exciting summer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Light in the Woods series by DiscontentedWinter (5 works | G-M | 36,507)

1. The Lights in the Woods (T | 8/8 | 12,293) To honour a treaty with the people of a strange land, Derek Hale, prince of the kingdom of Triskelion, has to marry Stiles. 2. The Gift of the Trees (T | 1/1 | 4,780) Stiles is everything that Derek ever wanted... almost. 3. Moonflower (G | 1/1 | 3,331) Stiles and Derek's son finds his magic. 4. The Path of the Wolf (G | 1/1 | 5,206) Faolán has to find his own path. 5. The Heart of the Wolf (M | 4/4 | 10,897) Etienne Argent is rescued by a strange young man in the woods.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Any Version of Reality by alisvolatpropiis (E | 7/7 | 39,853)

Standing next to not-Derek – whoa, holding not-Derek’s hand? – is someone who looks remarkably like Stiles. Is Stiles, a slightly-altered replica, just like this guy both is and isn't Derek.

It’s not like looking into a mirror – one, because looking into a mirror actually makes some kind of sense, and two, because not-Stiles looks older too, mid twenties maybe. And the tips of his short, spiky hair are dark purple, and he’s got a lip ring and he’s shirtless and covered in tattoos and what the holy hell?

“Time travel?" He's sufficiently freaked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hears his dad laughing.

“Not exactly,” not-Derek says, and shit, even his voice sounds exactly the same, disconcertingly gentle. He gestures behind him, and Stiles looks over his shoulder, where behind him, scattered across the porch and in the front yard, are more…Dereks and more Stileses.

Fourteen total, including the two at the door, he notes distantly, eyes feeling like they’re about to pop out of his head from bulging so hard.

Seven other Dereks. Seven other Stileses.

Seven Derek and Stiles pairs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Moon Gave Me Permission by Melpomene (Aconitehart) (E | 9/9 | 57,572)

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this,” Scott says, eyeing Stiles’ fries. “But Derek Hale is back in town. I saw him at the gas station the other day.”

This piques Stiles’ interest. Oh yes it does. Like any good true crime aficionado, Stiles has his favourite case. His pet cold case. His hometown murder. The thing he brings up when he’s tired of small talk and just wants to get real.

The Hale Family Fire and the suicide of Katherine Argent.

Stiles knows this case inside and out. He’s racked up thousands of karma points on reddit for his thoughtful analysis, his pictures of the crime scene, and of his reporting of local gossip. Beacon Hills is a small town, small enough that Stiles is the only one on the Unresolved Mysteries subreddit to have actually seen the burnt out shell in person.

He’ll tell anyone who listens what he finds fascinating about the case. Absolutely no shame. He’s read all of the articles, he’s pestered his father’s deputies for more information, and he’s read every cold case compilation book that so much as mentions it.

No one knows this case like Stiles does.

-

In which Derek Hale is a man with a dark past, and Stiles is completely obsessed with him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Soul Knows What the Heart Wants by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (M | 9/9 | 163,779)

“Holy—shit,” Stiles breathed, Bacon stopping in what he was doing, still staring at him intently, as if begging him to understand, for someone to finally understand. Stiles felt like he’d been electrocuted and he leapt out of his chair, kneeling in front of Bacon and grabbing at his furry face. “Holy shit! Oh my God, are you—wait, holy—you’re not fucking with me, right?!”

Bacon let out two quick barks, which Stiles chose to interpret as ‘no.’

“Oh my God, are you a real person in there?!” Stiles shouted in the wolf’s face, staring him right in the eye. He was still holding the wolf’s head with both hands, but Bacon dipped his muzzle in confirmation and Stiles officially lost his mind.

“Oh my God!” he shouted again, releasing Bacon to clutch at his own hair. “Oh my God! Dude, for real?! You’re—holy shit! Holy shit!” He didn’t know how to react to this news. He had no fucking idea how to react. This was a person?! But how?! How was this a person?! People didn’t just turn into wolves!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

************************************************************************

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! <3

To be honest, I don't know. The stories I'm reading and those I have read have a quite consistent audience that writes many (and even quite a lot of detailed) comments while these stories are being updated. But I usually read in other fandoms, so I can't tell if the demographic of these fandoms is generally more supportive of their writers or if these writers just know how to engage their audience. However, when I look at the stats of a couple of stories in the YOI fandom that started around the same time as CYHMH (summer 2022), I'm not so sure that it's just fandom demographics. Back then, there was one new story that had 10 chapters out with like 200 comments and I even saw one that had only 2 chapters out but already 300 comments. So, even back then and a long time before the movie cancellation, it was pretty much still possible to excite readers (For the record: I didn't look around for too long to protect my mental health, so the data I have to base my impression on is very incomplete.) Now that I know that many fans are very vocal about wanting more canon content, including some in-between-the-episodes stuff which CYHMH has in abundance, I'm genuinely puzzled. Having heard about the success of other novelisations and sequels, I doubt that's just about original content.

Interestingly, the movie cancellation didn't impact my stats at all. At that time I had a long-wished for uptick in engagement (supposedly due to the fact that I had resumed posting the improved & beta'ed version, but I'm not sure of that) and that uptick held on until about two months after the cancellation. It made me hopeful that I had finally found a steady audience. Interestingly, shortly after the eros-off ice chapter [about 2 months after the cancellation], comments and hits/chapter dropped massively and basically back to the low level they had been at in 2022.

The story has 477 comments (I'm counting the threads, not the total number), which is about 10 comments/chapter on average. From the outside that looks really good. However, a lot of that is from either readers who discovered the story later and made an effort to comment each chapter plus the success it had during the first half of this year. And don't get me wrong, I'm so happy every time a reader takes their time to comment on chapters that had been posted long ago because many readers seem to think that writers don't care getting feedback for these although most of us crave that. In many cases that finally got me the kind of feedback that I would have desperately needed to keep going in 2022, and if I had gotten that back then, the long break wouldn't have happened. Because no matter how much I appreciate these later readers (they're 3 in total, including you and I love every one of you <3), I also need some support and engagement when I post these chapters to keep staying motivated and not being on the verge of quitting writing again because just sharing them had made me feel so miserable.

Right now, there's still some engagement left. But knowing my experience with writing a series for my last fandom (before AO3), engagement drops with every instalment. So if, at this point, there is already so little excitement for my take on the ending of the show and my take on a continuation, I just know from past experiences that it will go down even further for the sequel. And for me, that really begs the question of whether I want to expose myself to another bout of losing my joy for writing and contemplating quitting it because I've already been there often enough.

At this point, I'm just at a loss about what to do. I feel like I did already everything that I could and it's still nowhere near enough: I did tons of research for this story, especially regarding Japanese culture and figure skating. I conducted a meticulous canon analysis to ensure that the characters are in-character and that everything that I add is a logical extension of canon to make sure that this story "feels" like YOI. I worked with a beta-reader because English is not my first language and in those chapters I've posted in 2022 it really showed. I respond to every comment and thank the commenter. And I post previews with little success, at least here on tumblr (not sure what the people on twitter do with them). There's hardly anything I could still try and it's not working.

Okay, I need to get this out of my system.

I have planned to post the sequel to my YOI novelisation in exactly a month from now. My beta said that the sequel feels like an actual continuation of YOI and a friend is even drawing a cover picture, which is just so amazing. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like I'm bound to regret releasing this story a couple of weeks later.

I won't lie. CYHMH had the total opposite of a dream start. I even paused the story for an entire year to get a beta reader because I failed to keep my audience interested and concluded that it was obviously bad. Or maybe it only did so poorly because it can't compete with other novelisations. I don't know and I don't want to know because if I learned the truth, I would probably shoot myself.

The story has 600+ kudos, but that's not reflected in the hits/chapter at all despite all the improvements I've made. The number of hits/chapter which had skyrocketed for a brief time span earlier this year (aka after I resumed posting the improved version) has decreased by 75% since June and hasn't recovered since. Often, I lose bookmarks and subscriptions within hours after posting a new chapter, which couldn't be a more obvious feedback.

I see this loss in interest also reflected in my chapter announcements and previews (not they had ever been great to begin with). Often, I'm the only person reblogging them because rarely anyone else does. On the other hand, my post that I would postpone the latest chapter due to the US elections was so popular and the contrast to the reactions when I finally posted that chapter was so huge that I wonder if people just want me to shut up and stop posting. To be honest, not posting would save me a lot of time and spoons because, let's be frank: writing for a mostly silent audience is just not it. (I have a little bit more engagement on other socials, but the downwards trend is the same there.)

There are only three chapters of CYHMH left to post. The story is at its climax and seeing the lack of interest and enthusiasm so close to the end is just so fucking disheartening after putting so much work into this story which I call my love letter to YOI. Maybe I don't write the kind of stories that inspire the majority of its readers to gush about it, but a part of me had been hoping for at least some people to be thrilled that the chapter was finally out. Or to be at least excited about the sequel. And I can't decide whether my writing just sucks that much to most people, if you're just silent because you only talk about my stories in some exclusionist fic club, or whether a sequel is just not wanted or needed due to the fandom being already saturated with that kind of story.

Would you guys prefer that I stop posting? If you really want to read my YOI sequel or just anything for that matter, I beg you to tell me and to support me.

[qsmp-eggs-daily]

can you make a drawing of lulah with the ghost/dead eggs? :0 (you don't have to)

day 18 :)

[bleue-flora]

Yo! Just noticed it’s the anniversary of when I finished my second fanfic Dreamcatcher, which is the work I actually started to lean into writing fanfiction (since my first work I really just wrote for myself before being encouraged to share it).

So, in honor of that, here is some of the original second nightmare which was actually written from Dream’s pov before I ended up changing it to Punz’s.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Referenced Torture, Blood, Death, Injuries, Profanity.

Dream is wet and panting, in a puddle of watery red flowing into an equally crimson pond to his side, where the non diluted liquid gets thicker.

There’s white fur stuck in it as the body of a dog, slashed to bits lies there next to him. Both sitting in the despairing silence of the box.

Tears form in the corners of his eyes and his vision gets blurry, but he doesn’t let them fall. He just exhales.

Why does everything die around him? Why does everything he dare to care a smidge about get taken from him?

As if to follow his thoughts, the white turns to black. The fluffy bloodied dog shifts into a cat that’s long since stopped breathing. Dream turns his head, and faintly smirks at the sight of the additional body sprawled out on the floor next to him.

He mutters to the corpse under his breath, rolling his eyes, “To be fair, you were being a bitch. Like don’t blame me, you know you d—deserved it… I mean I lasted like—how long before beating your head in? That’s pretty impressive—pretty fucking impressive, you know.”

Tommy’s body doesn’t respond, just stays there, unmoving and uncharacteristically quiet. His face swollen and bruised, not unlike the innocent cat he beat to death.

Then his body evaporates and Dream finds himself in a new room, accented with black walls and bedrock. It’s detail is perfectly ominous like he wanted.

He’s kneeling, unguarded by armor with an audience of people surrounding him. His heart beats rapidly threatening to burst out of his chest at the danger. But he ignores it.

Indignant, Tommy rips off the mask that always covers his face. Exposing his pale skin to the cool air and the venomously judging faces.

Despite the frustration at his denial of privacy, he doesn’t so much as dignify it with a flinch. It was expected. He was ready. He’s not about to show weakness in front of a crowd.

They are silent as the axe lands, and lands again before lady death finally embraces him.

They are silent as the sword finds its place in his chest and he falls to the ground, bleeding out into the cold stone beneath him.

It’s ok. He knew this would happen. It was expected, it was planned. He didn’t know they’d kill him twice, but it’s fine.

On one life, he makes his way back down with sharp pain running through his veins. Somehow it seems duller than the pain in the prison cell, though it can’t have been less excruciating.

Tommy once again stands above him savagely firing arrows away. As they pierce his flesh and bone, he searches the cold faces around him and listens intently, hoping to hear one sound of objection to his approaching final death.

Surely, someone will say something, right? Surely, someone will oppose his final death, right? Surely, they woundn’t let Tommy kill him off in cold blood. Would they?

But there’s nothing from them. Absolutely nothing. Standing there, dripping in blood, he feels his heart entirely disintegrate into nothing. Leaving only a hollow emptiness in its wake.

Then suddenly he’s freezing from more than just death and despondency. He’s surrounded by ice. Their pillars, tall and sharp, casting the land in a pointed terrain. Despite the bone chilling air and his frozen insides, he stands, planted to the ground, looking at a sign pinned to the glacier. The wood marking the death of his parrot that travelled so far only to die there.

A deep sigh is released from his lungs and the scene smears into broad strokes of colors. Until a well known bleak room encases him in lava and obsidian again.

Sitting there with nothing but the annoying sounds of the prison to keep him company, he wonders if he’s always destined to lose everything. Was it always going to end up like this? Was he always going to end up alone?

[sunbunnyyy]

i know i just got here, but seeing all of the laughably bad takes from both sides of the spectrum is convincing me that no, i don’t actually need to be on social media again.

[skitskatdacat63]

Speaking of ocs, I have no idea why I deleted this drawing off here. I think I hated it when I finished it, and now I looked back on it and I'm like, this is pretty okay??

[doodleodds]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..... WE GOTTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so SO much to everyone who commissioned (read: enabled) me!!

Now that I've reached my goal of +10ing my boy, and since my time is (unfortunately) still quite limited due to work, I'm going to be closing comms tomorrow! So, if you have an idea and haven't decided if you want to commit or not yet, now's your last chance for the time being! ;) And to all those who have already paid, I know I do still have quite a few to get through- I was a FOOL to think I could just bang these out in 24 hours, lol, but please rest assured they will be coming within the next few days!! I'll get through them slowly but surely. Admittedly I did take a break to draw this guy because I was so pleased to get him, but I'll get right back on the horse tomorrow lol. Thank you so much again everyone!! ^O^

Ferdinand went to a tea party and came back Different

[campirebites]

Besties I made my mom take me to Barnes and noble and I got an Enhypen album for my birthday and I pulled my bias! Jay my beloved!! Look how pretty he is😍❤️

[thelassoway]

I'm still so mad that we got all those parallels and callbacks and yet no tedbecca. It was all for nothing. THEY WERE IN LOVE DAMMIT!!!!

Hi!

First, I hope all is well with you.

And this gif sums up my feels on that season of that one show:

🍻

[candyriku]

finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)

[isekyaaa]

this kinda turned into vent, so if you dont feel like it just ignore it!

I absolutely love your k*avetham analysis because same. I just realised this, but extremely reminds me of a friend that just doesn't get better. It's been 8 years and not only they haven't improved AT ALL, but I would also argue it's gotten worse. And it's frustrating because you've been there, tried to support them through bad times, but then you get the same rant for 124124 time and you realize that even with all the help they've been receiving, their situation hasn't improved by one bit. And you wonder, is it the fault of friends/family/psychologists not being enough, or are they a problem?

And Kaveh has been getting help! He had a lot of projects lined up, nearly all of Sumeru loves him, but you cannot be stuck in the toxic mentality forever. Alhaitham was friends with a boy that was so guilt-ridden that he was willing to sacrifice himself to get rid of it, and several years later he is still at that stage. You cannot help a person that doesn't want to be helped, and Alhaitham is not even a person who would hold your hand to resolve your issues. He would be supporting you from behind, waiting to catch you when you stumble but leaving you to it. And he has been doing that! But no wonder he's sometimes snippy at Kaveh when he's always getting dragged into his problems.

fejiwoafjiew I wrote a whole rant response to this and then tumblr ended up crashing OTL But you get me, anon!!!! It's tough, right? Seeing someone put themselves through that. And no matter how much you try to help, they just won't get better. And I will be honest with you. In my opinion, it's them that's the problem, not the people around them. They truly do not want to get better because of the responsibility that comes with it. It's just easier to suffer.

It just really sucks to see as a whole. Like look at Kaveh. He's caring, responsible, dutiful, talented, friendly, creative, opinionated, driven, ethical, self-sacrificing, etc etc etc. He has so many genuinely good traits. And yet how do the people close him know him? Someone that is chronically unhappy and complaining constantly. People like him become a self-fulfilling prophecy through self-sabotage. They push away any support they get because they can't see the big picture. It's just frustratingly sad.

I know this would never happen in game, but I just want Kaveh to leave Sumeru for a bit. He needs to just start anew. Maybe move to Mondstadt. Let the culture there engulf him in love and care. Let Venti listen to his problems a bit. Idk. Mentally my solution for any troubled soul is to move to Mondstadt HAHA. And then maybe after he gets better, he can then move back and be more resilient and just... happier.