#is she batman?
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trektober day 13: superhero AU
To her enemies, she was the Huntress. Bomb manufacturers and drug kingpins disappeared in the dead of night and reappeared in maximum security prisons, if they reappeared at all. Politicians spluttered about vigilantism and CEOs bellowed about privacy when their illegal dealings ended up all over the internet, signed only with her trademark bow and arrow.
To her supporters, she was Number One. The first person you wanted by your side in times of trouble, the fastest responder to any hostage situation or natural disaster she could get to. There were stories about children lost under buildings after earthquakes and tornados, impossible to reach, turning up in their local ERs without a word. Tearful young women thanked her on tv and hoped she got the message. It was rumored she had once carried a grown man two miles to the closest hospital, something no human woman should have been able to do. She never commented on the rumor. She never commented on anything.
To her team, she was the Commander, directing their efforts and cutting off budding problems before they became a threat. Tall and authoritative, she demanded the best, and that was what she got. She never budged, never cracked, and never lost control.
To the people she loved, she was Una. Chris cleaned her cuts and kissed her bruises and held her when she slept, soothed the nightmares away. He whispered her name into her skin and she knew that was all he needed, just her, no superhero, no inspiring figure. Just Una.
#so her superhero identity#is kind of nebulous#is she batman?#is she superman?#she is no man#we’ll keep the super strength and immunity#leadership skills#managerial fervor#snw#una chin riley#star trek#strange new worlds#chris pike#pikeuna#pikeone
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Need a the Waynes Lived AU where Martha’s a vampire. She snuck in a Wayne Gala for a potential late night snack, but Thomas thought she was a socialite.
“So, what do you do?”
“I drain people of their life sources.”
“Oh, you’re a CEO too?”
She can’t drink Thomas’ blood because he smokes too much, the baggy eyes indicate long nights spent on his feet during surgery, which means it’ll taste bitter, and she saw him drown 10 whiskey shots in one go.
It’s a taste thing, nothing against him.
He is, how ever, very handsome, and she decided she’ll be his house cat for the time being. Fast forward two years later and they have a vampire cherub of a baby named Bruce.
Babies usually don’t come out with fangs and tiny bat wings, so, yeah. His wife’s a vampire. Cool.
“How come I’ve never seen your wife outside during the daytime, Tom??”
“How come I’ve never seen you mind your own fucking business?”
#thomas to me is a really angry guy with can puff three packs of cigs a day and aggressively yells his affection and martha saw that#and thought ‘hot’#during their two years of marriage Alfred keeps trying to prove she’s a vampire Candace Flynn style and she never works#‘would you like me to draw the courtains MADAM’#‘no :) you know I have that skin condition right :)’ ‘aha :)) yes of course :))))))’#thomas wayne#martha wayne#bruce wayne#the waynes#dc comics#dc#text#batman#baby bruce wayne#text post
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
#I have more ideas in my head#but I didn't want to make the post too long#might repost later#might write a small fanfic off of this#I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom#batfamily#batfam#headcanon#dick grayson#nightwing#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#cardinal tim drake#stephanie brown#spoiler#dc
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I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.
If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.
Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.
Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.
Tim :
Dick :
Tim : My room is normal sized…
Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-
Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.
Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.
Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.
Jason :
Dick :
Jason : Do you want to-
Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.
#batfam#batman#dc comics#dcu#jason todd#comics#dick grayson#batbros#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#headcanon#i have a friend who is super mega rich and has a butler and shit#and she just couldn’t comprehend that I didn’t have an allowance as a kid#and that i had to wait for my birthday or christmas to get stuff#she’s one of my favorite people but she really has no concept of money#it’s really funny tbh#i feel like that’s how tim is. just wouldn’t get it#not damian though. he just doesn’t give a shit.#he’d just steal whatever he wanted tbh
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best thing about batman is that he's a superficially grimdark character, gothic & brooding & angst ridden etc..........but then it turns out he has a million hobbies, regularly goes on adventures with his besties, and has a dozen adopted kids he's raising with his devoted foster dad. good for him
#dude's out there living his best life he's just goth#batman's hobbies include staying active...world (and space) travel...volunteer work in his local community#plus bonding with his kids over shared interests. (every day is take-your-kid-to-work-day in the Bats household)#he's even casually dating a woman from work (she's a cat lady not looking for commitment but yeah she's met his kids)#rich and fulfilling lifestyle#he is out there living a thrilling and exciting life surrounded by friends and family!!!#literally he's just goth and autistic leave him alone
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“Cass is the perfect fighter and she is always 100% serious in any of her fights. Shes not the hero to be thinking of jokes in a fight”
Cass:
#SHE HAS JOKES#SHES FUNNY AS HELL SOMETIMES#she just keeps in in her head#cassandra cain#batgirl#orphan#batman#batgirl 1999#dc#dc comics#comics
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Bruce died(?) again
Jason: Well, it's my turn.
Dick: What are you talking about?
Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.
Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?
Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.
#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#cassandra cain#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#my ramblings#incorrect quotes#once again I made up this one#but like look at me and tell me that I'm wrong when Red Robin comics is rught there#Dick it's in Future State where he acts just like Bruce it's an au but like it's in character af for him#Cass ran away to Hong Kong so she kind of pushed them away and the second part she's always like this#Jason invites his siblings to his place to watch hustorical drama and criticizes the accuracy and if they are adapted from a book#how well of an adaptation they are#of course he is the one making most of the commentaries on the subject#is tim wrong? let's discuss
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The way Jon mirrors Talia's pose.
#dc comics#batman#league of assassins#batfamily#batfam#robin#damian wayne#jon lane kent#jon kent#talia al ghul#only talia al ghul would be able to look at the son of the most powerful man on earth and be underwhelmed#she's giving jon the assassin version of that classic suburban mom stance
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Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
💥Batgirl💥
#hi i’m back#cassandra cain#dc comics#batgirl#dc#batman#batfam#batman fanart#batgirl fanart#actually#Bing’s doodles#yay my tag#me when I muster an ounce of creative energy#she <3#art#my art#she’s so creecher#love her
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Bruce, trying to be a responsible adult, naively believing that it would be easier with his least troublesome children: you cannot drive the batmobile, none of you have a license.
Duke: is it because…
Cass out of the blue: is it because I'm Asian?
Duke, holding tears of pride: that's my sister!
Bruce, sweating in rich white privilege: actually... I changed my mind…
#Duke taught her 100%#she was just waiting for the opportunity to apply her new knowledge#batman#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#batdad#cassandra cain#duke thomas
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tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.
tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring
dick: that’s not…
tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship
dick: what spaceship??
—
tim: oh, hi mom
shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?
bruce: mother? she’s not your —
shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today
tim: of course!! ^-^
bruce: again?
—
tim: man i forgot to take my meds again
duke: your meds for what?
tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went
duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?
tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing
—
tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me
damian: you what!?
tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse
—
tim: here
jason: what’s this?
tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin
jason: thanks?
tim: you’re welcome, bye!
jason: … creepy ass kid…
—
steph: so how did you to get together?
bernard: well —
tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members
bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards
steph: well, it’s better than the brick
#i’ve forgotten cass- but let’s be honest she already knows all of the tim lore#the whole lady shiva mom thing is just a silly little thing of my own creation#you can’t tell me tim didn’t see a woman who spends more time with him (even if it’s spent fighting) than his actual mother#and didn’t immediately imprint like a baby duckling#dc#robin#tim drake#red robin#nightwing#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#duke thomas#the signal#signal#stephanie brown#spoiler#batgirl#bernard dowd#timbern
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Bruce tries to adopt Ellie, who is immediately against it. She keeps throwing him off her trail and he keeps tracking her down. She's honestly concerned, and normally she would handle her problems by herself- but this is Batman.
So when Bruce gets a little too close and Ellie is just so tired... she calls for Danny.
"Mom!"
Cue college student, perpetually tired and overworked Danny "High King Phantom" Fenton appearing from the very shadows Batman normally does himself, seeing the situation and going off at this "clearly older man" chasing his daughter in the middle of the night.
Cue the most elaborate "stop trying to adopt my kid before I adopt yours" series of battles
#danny phantom#dc comics#batfam#batman#dani fenton#danny fenton#bruce wayne#dc x dp#ellie fenton#feel like ellie would be deaged in this one#while danny allows her to travel freely he has a check in system for her#as well as periods she has to come visit so she can go to doctors appointments or for holidays#he also forced vlad to help set up her human identity and she has online schooling#feel like everytime someone in the batfam tries to get info from danny or ellie on how they came to be they both are incredibly vague#but in a way that sets vlad in a really bad light#they dont mention the cloning they just phrase it as “vlad took advantage of danny when he was younger and ellie was the result”#danny complains often about child support and how vlad “still tries to make family ties”#ellie just says vlad lies and its why she consider danny her only parent
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Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?
I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.
In my mind, he came to them bleeding.
There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.
Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.
The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’
“Hi, Alfred.”
“…How do you—“
“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”
If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.
Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.
“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.
Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”
Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”
For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.
“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”
Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.
Alfred whispers he does not.
Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”
#Thomas isn’t that serious but Alfred KEEPS COMING BACK#he got attached to the strange round eyed ghost pale child#Martha came back from her trip to Russia and saw her husband performing surgery on a guy with no anesthesia#cigarette in his mouth - because this ain’t a hospital. and it ain’t even lit.— and Bruce hands him the tools and she sighs. god damn it.#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#thomas wayne#dc comics#dc#batman#baby bruce wayne#the waynes#text#text post
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DDxDC The More The Merrier
Exactly a year after Talia brought Damian to Bruce, she shows up again. With another child. That looks like a carbon copy of Damian. She introduces him as Danyal, Damian's twin that was in an undercover mission for the last few years.
Bruce's eye twitches, but he deals with it. At least it's not a clone - Damian proved his mother's words to be true, Danyal really is his twin brother. So the Bats are just kind of forced to accept the fact. And the kid.
Danyal is a literal fucking menace. Contrary to Damian, he doesn't stab or bite, but he is absolutely chaotic. And, in addition to that, he has zero self-preservation instincts. None of it. The only two people in the family he has a truce with are Cass and Steph. Cass, because he has yet to take her by surprise, and Steph, because she is his partner in crime. Tim, though, Tim is on the verge of going insane with two little assassin bats running around the manor.
A year later, on the anniversary of Damian and Danyal's arrival, Talia shows up again. With, you guessed it, another kid. This one is a bit older - sixteen or so - and he has an angry glare that can be compared only to Jason's on a warpath. Dante, he calls himself, and the Demon Twins narrow their eyes on him. Bruce knows this look intimately. Sibling rivalry at its finest.
The next year is full of said sibling rivalry, performed by three highly skilled assassins. Dick is constantly worried one day one of them will die, and not because of a Rogue attack. The kids are fucking wild, acting like rabid dogs on steroids. They destroyed a wall once by throwing Dante through it. Alfred gave them a lecture. It didn't help.
The next year, Bruce opens the door to Talia even before she rings the doorbell. He looks at the four-year-old girl that looks like a mirror image of Damian, Danyal and Dante, and asks, tired and defeated:
"How many more?"
Talia only smiles. The girl looks at him with big, innocent puppy eyes that don't fool Bruce anymore.
Tim, who watches the scene through the surveillance cameras in the Batcave, pulls up a file and starts drafting his last will.
#bruce: talia we only fucked once where do these kids come from#talia: they are yours you can check their dna tests#bruce: i did and tgey are BUT WHERE DO THEY COME FROM#talia: storks#danny phantom#dp x dc#dcxdp#batfamily#batman#talia al ghul#danny and damian are twins#dan phantom#dani phantom#al ghul twins#tim 'im about to die' drake#bruce 'is she going to keep bringing them every year' wayne#jason 'green goo murder buddies lets go' todd#phantom siblings#danyal al ghul#batfam
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Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3
Masterpost
#DC#DCU#DC Comics#Dick Grayson#Damian Wayne#Tim Drake#Wally West#Donna Troy#Roy Harper#Bruce Wayne#Nightwing#Batman#Robin#Red Robin#Flash#Arsenal#Birdflash#If you feel so inclined. It doesn't really make a difference#Garth is here he's just not on twitter because he's smart#He was looking over Wally's shoulder for this whole exchange and was the one who typed up Wally's last tweet#I just realized that both of Dick's handles are too long... but fuck it I'm keeping them anyway#Also Lian chose Roy's twitter name and she likes to say her dad's name so that's why it's there three times
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batman: odyssey (2011) #6
remember only one of them actually went to med school and got their degree and it is NOT the man dressed as a giant bat !!!
#doctor al ghul and her lame ass ex husband.....#shes the embodiment of 'if i had a lame boyfriend id hype him up so much ill make him stand outside and tell people here comes the most#special boy in existence and if they dont clap and cheer im blowing this whole fucking building up' post#c: batman: odyssey (2011) | i: 6#crypt's panels#batman#talia al ghul#brutalia
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