#is she batman?

[emonydeborah]

trektober day 13: superhero AU

To her enemies, she was the Huntress. Bomb manufacturers and drug kingpins disappeared in the dead of night and reappeared in maximum security prisons, if they reappeared at all. Politicians spluttered about vigilantism and CEOs bellowed about privacy when their illegal dealings ended up all over the internet, signed only with her trademark bow and arrow.

To her supporters, she was Number One. The first person you wanted by your side in times of trouble, the fastest responder to any hostage situation or natural disaster she could get to. There were stories about children lost under buildings after earthquakes and tornados, impossible to reach, turning up in their local ERs without a word. Tearful young women thanked her on tv and hoped she got the message. It was rumored she had once carried a grown man two miles to the closest hospital, something no human woman should have been able to do. She never commented on the rumor. She never commented on anything.

To her team, she was the Commander, directing their efforts and cutting off budding problems before they became a threat. Tall and authoritative, she demanded the best, and that was what she got. She never budged, never cracked, and never lost control.

To the people she loved, she was Una. Chris cleaned her cuts and kissed her bruises and held her when she slept, soothed the nightmares away. He whispered her name into her skin and she knew that was all he needed, just her, no superhero, no inspiring figure. Just Una.

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[neuro-psyche]

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

best thing about batman is that he's a superficially grimdark character, gothic & brooding & angst ridden etc..........but then it turns out he has a million hobbies, regularly goes on adventures with his besties, and has a dozen adopted kids he's raising with his devoted foster dad. good for him

[robinhuntr]

“Cass is the perfect fighter and she is always 100% serious in any of her fights. Shes not the hero to be thinking of jokes in a fight”

Cass:

[binglepringle]

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na

💥Batgirl💥

[ditzybat]

tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.

tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring

dick: that’s not…

tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship

dick: what spaceship??

—

tim: oh, hi mom

shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?

bruce: mother? she’s not your —

shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today

tim: of course!! ^-^

bruce: again?

—

tim: man i forgot to take my meds again

duke: your meds for what?

tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went

duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?

tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing

—

tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me

damian: you what!?

tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse

—

tim: here

jason: what’s this?

tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin

jason: thanks?

tim: you’re welcome, bye!

jason: … creepy ass kid…

—

steph: so how did you to get together?

bernard: well —

tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members

bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards

steph: well, it’s better than the brick

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Bruce, trying to be a responsible adult, naively believing that it would be easier with his least troublesome children: you cannot drive the batmobile, none of you have a license.

Duke: is it because…

Cass out of the blue: is it because I'm Asian?

Duke, holding tears of pride: that's my sister!

Bruce, sweating in rich white privilege: actually... I changed my mind…

[theerurishipper]

-

-

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Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Masterpost

[martyrbat]

batman: odyssey (2011) #6

remember only one of them actually went to med school and got their degree and it is NOT the man dressed as a giant bat !!!

[potatounicoorn]

The 5 Robin's expect I made this with my only context being my 3 days of Tumblr and Ao3 scrolling and 3 episodes of Young Justice

[glitter-stained]

More of trans allegory Jason and the goons VS the batfam:

Transmasc older goon, trying to connect: Hey out of curiosity boss, when did your egg crack?

Jason, thinking this is a bird pun about how he became Robin: Uh, 12 I guess...

****

Penguin henchman: Wow, you really are okay calling yourselves goons? Isn't that like a little demeaning?

Red Hood Goon: Inclusivity my guy -Henchperson is a mouthful, and that way, we don't have to assume.

Penguin Henchman: Oh my god that's so thoughtful!

*they resume shooting at eachother.*

*****

Batman You're not okay Hood, you need a professional. Please, we can help you!

Jason: There's nothing wrong with me, I won't let you throw me into Arkham!

Goon of the week: Yeah Batfreak, the boss doesn't need help, there's nothing wrong with him! How would you like it if we tried to convert you out of being a furry, huh?!!

Batman: reconsiders life choices.

****

Angry goon: *beats the shit out of Nightwing with a trans pride flag*

Dick, a bisexual cis metrosexual: I'm not sure what is happening but this feels offensive.

****

Batman: Please, I know there's a lot of bad blood, but you're still my child...

Jason: Really? Because I clearly remember you saying you weren't my father and didn't have to deal with my "teenage angst"!

The Goons: You said what?!

Oracle : You said what?!

Dick, standing up and picking up the pride flag: You said what.

[homeofwyrm]

Ianthe's no good, very bad day

[spicy-apple-pie]

Jason brings up the fact that he's changed Damian's diapers as often as possible.

[empire-of-the-words]

so I read son of the demon straight through today (tbh maybe not my best idea I'm still sad 😓), and came to the realization that Bruce and Talia's marriage never actually ends. like, Talia just tells Bruce to leave and Ra's last line is literally calling Bruce his son. sure, it's implied, but, also. consider:

Random lawyer or finance guy or something: Have you ever been divorced or widowed? Bruce: Y- Bruce: Bruce: Bruce: actually I think I'm still married. Dick: I'm sorry, WHAT?

[seilnakyle]

Ace The Bat-Hound and Bitewing in Super-Pets special: Bitedentity crisis