#is really his life pre-canon
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i absolutely love your sh meta so i was wondering what are your thoughts on Alec’d relationship with his sexuality bc i always sort of read it as him knowing that he was gay but absolutely not saying it out loud
absofuckinglutely nonny
There's an excellent post by amorverus that I cannot find the original of so have my reblog HERE that articulates it really well
I even wrote a fic about it! #shameless self promotion [tumblr / ao3] (That is, in fact, one of my favorite things I've ever written.)
I do strongly believe that Alec knew that he was gay, and felt no shame about that in and of itself. He is not offended by Magnus flirting with him, would not, I think, be offended by anyone else flirting with him, regardless of gender. (Tho prior to Magnus I also think he just... wasn't interested, but that's a separate conversation.) He knew, however, that it was not allowed in his culture and it would hurt his family and not just him if it came out.
(This is why Izzy makes me so uncomfortable in s1 regarding Alec, tbqh, because she lives there too, but refuses to see the danger to herself and, more egregiously in Alec's mind, because obviously she can chose to risk herself for him if she wants, for all he doesn't like it, but she's causing risk for their little brother if Alec is outed, and that's unacceptable. Even if I'm quite sure Max would agree with her priorities.)
I do, however, think Alec felt a lot of shame regarding his attraction to Jace. Jace was hurting and was supposed to be his brother and yet... Alec felt an attraction that he knew Jace wouldn't return. So he's got all the societal pressure on him not to be gay, and all this personal pressure not to manipulate or abuse someone in a vulnerable situation (because Jace was, even if he wouldn't admit it), PLUS all the normal human issues with feeling attraction for someone who is important enough to you that you can't lose them, and you can legitimately be terrified that if you can't get it under control you MIGHT... (Even more so for him than a mundane romantic vs platonic situation, obviously, because there's questions of command and exile and punishment, not just ruining an interpersonal dynamic in a way it never quite recovers from.)
Plus Alec's kind of also Jace's commanding officer which is yet ANOTHER unequal power dynamic, and he's supposed to be protecting an entire Institute, not just this one person, but he can't stop thinking about it because it's fucked up and he knows he should stop and he can't.
(Because, he realizes with the benefit of hindsight after he meets Magnus, by fixating on Jace he was safe, he was never going to fall in love for real with someone he might have a chance with, would never have to actually choose between his culture and his personal desires, while still telling himself that he already had, that he'd chosen his family and it was fine, he was FINE.
(He was so not fine.))
And so, even though he truly believes there's nothing wrong with being gay in general, he does believes there is something Very Wrong with him specifically being gay.
But he still never has any doubt about it. He never tries to project heterosexual interest in anyone, is very up front with Lydia about the terms of their engagement. (It seems clear, even if we never see that conversation, that they're both aware that their marriage would never be romantic or sexual unless they mutually decided to go the so-called traditional route for children.) And she agreed to it! She, unlike Jace & Izzy, had zero illusions about her relationship with Alec, and I ADORE HER FOR THAT.
And I've totally lost the thread of this rambling, I'm not sure I have a conclusion for you? 😅😅😅
Alec is, imo, refreshingly self-aware about most things, and many of his issues are legitimately external stupidity punishing him into a life of self-recrimination rather than him having internal bigotry or biases against his own sexuality in and of itself.
#jilly answers#Anonymous#the saga of#alec lightwood#honor vs duty vs shame#is really his life pre-canon#he throws away the shame tho#and I'm very proud of him for that#shadowhunters#my sh rambling#sh meta#queer as in#fuck you
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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Young odysseus convincing everyone Ithaca is nothing but a poor island with rocks and goats to avoid any raids/conquerors/so he doesn't get murdered for talking to Helen bc "it's not like he's a real choice"
Young odysseus falling in love with Penelope at the same event: wait. Wait shit I fucked up hold on just hear me out
#the odyssey#Odysseus#Penelope#Pre-canon(?)#odypen#Odypen meet ulgy#When the cute “bumpkin” boy wants to marry you but only brought 3 goats for your cousins gifts#AND you caught him spying on your family#There's like a single line in the odyssey where I think some god is narratoring (not 100% sure)#And they have a well actually interjection moment to explain how Ithaca isn't just one island it actually has a shit ton of land#And is technically richer then every other country#Which honestly just makes it funnier that odysseus was like welp time to beg again with zero issues for 10 years#But it will never not be funny to me that young odysseus really shot himself in the foot with Penelopes family for the start#Like clearly it worked out but I bet Penelope father HATES him#Listen odysseus showed up to Helen's courting for the drama ONLY he never planned on marrying her#Bc he knew her husband would be murdered immediately#My man showed up for the drama and stayed for Penelope#Otp#I love them#And need more of these two being rat bastards to each other and LOVING it#Listen neither one of them has let a single thing go in their whole life and they like that about the other#Odysseus going to buy anything for his wife ever#Penelope: Oh my can we afford that this is just a simple rock island with a few goats#Odysseus: dressed head to toe in very very rich cloth that his wife made#Ithaca with the fastest ships bc ody designed new ones#Penelope: literally dripping with jewels that were MAYBE stolen (shut up you can't prove anything and Penelope likes it when he's a bastard#Odysseus: you're so right my bad that was so irresponsible for getting you a gift. Perhaps your father would like to pay instead?
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Every week someone makes a post about how annoying it is that Dick Grayson fans don't acknowledge his flaws, and every week someone replies with an explanation that the flaws OP listed are entirely fanon and inconsistent with canon as it actually happened and at this point I have to assume that none of those explanations are ever going to stick because clearly some people just want the fanon to be true.
Anyway, I'm just putting this here for me to edit and add relevant-to-the-topic links later so I'll have them nicely at hand to read and sooth my frustrations when it gets real bad out there. (Echo chambers are good when we use them to drown out character mischaracterizing fanon.)
#dick grayson#canon vs fanon#yes this is about 'dick was a bad brother to jason' yet again#😮💨#super problematic how dick didn't pack up his life & become a devoted big brother to the new son of a man who had already disowned dick#like in-universe he is respectfully supportive of the kid who's wearing his name and uniform#but he was also a 19 year old living in a different city and not given any indication that he was a member of bruce's family so...?#dc comics#this fanon tendency to try to cram nuclear family dynamics and angst onto relationships that do not fit that mold arghhh#add to that how real-world knowledge makes it extra ridiculous to act as if 'omg dick was such a jerk for not being there for jason!!!'#yes their interactions were minimal - I'm pretty sure that keeping dick as a titans character was the entire reason jason existed!#let's be real about jason: his character & what led to him being robin were completely different pre-crisis + his post-crisis run was brief#understandably there are 'flashback' stories to flesh out his time as robin. the worst of these disregard characterization from that time#but even with flashbacks the worst that canon actually shows would be that they weren't close? which...okay?#idk what kind of expectations some people have for the former-ward so sort of foster kid who was explicitly kicked out of bruce wayne's lif#apparently he should've 1) begged his former guardian to acknowledge him as family & 2) assumed the role of bestest big brother either way#i'd ask people to stop and really think about the 'family' structure that existed in this time period where they insist dick was the bad gu#but at this point it's clear that people who want him to be the bad guy truly don't care about why we think it's absurd#anyway i'll end this with a reminder of what I'm pretty sure were the ages etc of the parties involved:#jason (12) gotham. adopted son of bruce.#dick (19) nyc. former ward of bruce. fired from role as partner to batman.#bruce (30+) gotham. raised dick as his ward → fired dick as a partner → never indicated dick still had any place in his life → adopted jaso#oh so my tags just cutting off the final letter like that? i will not be correcting them 😡
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One of the things I think of a lot with regards to John is—why didn't he have any friends in his real life?
None of the beta kids ever seem to mention having irl friends that they miss in the aftermath of the apocalypse. And yeah, they've got a lot of other stuff going on, and it's not really in the narrative's nature to bring up people not somehow involved with sburb, but on a watsonian level, if any of them had other friends that died in sburb's aftermath, you'd think they'd say something about that grief at some point.
It's relatively easy to explain away the other beta kids' friendlessness. Jade lives alone on an island, Dave is Dave (raised in an extremely weird way that does not make him well-suited for regular life), and Rose's mom is strange and rich enough that Rose probably goes to some shitty private school or has an online tutor or something.
But John is such a public school-type kid through and through. He's just some guy. But the more I think about him, the more I'm thinking about why he must not have any friends. He canonically spends most of his time online.
He's into (poorly) coding, shitty movies, online games, and magic tricks, none of which are a particular recipe for popularity—especially not as a twelve year old in 2009. He also has a peanut allergy.
Unfortunately, that's also probably a social strike against him. Schools are historically really bad at dealing with kids with severe allergies. There's decent odds John was eating alone and isolated at an "allergy table."
Overall, he's kind of made for being a run of the mill social outcast. He's not Dave levels of weird, and he might not be horribly bullied, but he absolutely strikes me as the few to no friends sort in a really painfully mundane way. He's just some dweeb. He's painfully sincere and enthusiastic most of the time, yet clearly has some self-hatred issues deep down that he doesn't like to think about.
He likes unpopular things and lives his life online. And pre sburb, at least his online life seems happy! He has good friends! But I can't help but wonder what his hours not at his computer screen were like. It's hard being twelve years old and goofy and awkward and friendless.
All those deeply repressed internalized thoughts about how lame he is have to come from somewhere, y'know?
#john shines SO bright and is SO enthusiastic most of the time. aggressively so#he loves what he loves. and yet#lame kid. clowns. etc#it really makes me think about how those ideas end up in his head and what his school life must be like#and the peanut allergy on top of his interests—perfect unpopular nerd cocktail unfortunately#like John is the least angsty character in a lot of ways. esp pre-sburb john#he doesn't have a crazy horrible life like a lot of his friends#but the mundane relatability makes the struggles he does have all the worse y'know?#sorry I did warn y'all I was going to be losing it over John during this reread#homestuck#john egbert#homestuckposting#english major hours#andie rereads homestuck#and yeah I know that dave comic I linked is just a fanwork#but it rings SO real and true for me#it's canon in my heart and completely aligns with canon as far as I know#long post#ID in alt text#homestuck 72#<<it's about multiple pages but the allergy page is what prompted this
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Promotional photos for DOCTOR WHO: "Voyage of the Damned"
#i think A LOT about all the could haves-should haves adventures with these two#astrid will always be the almost companion i mourn most#i think her genuine vocal delight over earth stuff could have made her really fun to have around even for a few more episodes#looks human but is just alien enough that i think she and the doctor would be a very weird/fun duo while adventuring on earth LOL#only stardust [self];#the stowaway [the doctor];#anyway hi i miss her#reworking her verses bc i thiiiiink i do. actually prefer writing her pre-canon.#give me an au where she lives but not an au where she comes back to life i think.
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I saw your response to the poll and the meta you reblogged and wanted to ask your thoughts on wwx's use of guidao post resurrection. He does have the added benefit of a golden core at this point, but I always read his loss of control in his first life to be tied more closely with the outside pressure he was facing rather than his cultivation (i.e. the use of guidao is what allowed a loss of control to be so destructive but it didn't cause it). My thought was that if guidao was truly so temperamental then there should be consequences to wwx using it post resurrection, but there's not. However, you've probably read much more closely than I have, which is why I'm interested in hearing what you think 👀
we had a conversation on twt about this, so i'll just share here!!
#yeah basically. the way he used guidao pre-death and post-ressurection are honestly incomparable#it's fine in moderation!! but war forced wwx to use it a way that was extremely harmful REALLY fast#and post canon he genuinely.... never uses it. especially once his core starts developing again#like yeah post-res he'd still need it bc mxy didnt have a core#but going from commanding armies of corpses everyday to a ghost or two? especially at the level of power he has??#he has nothing to fear anymore with 1. lwj by his side 2. none of the added stress and responsabilities of his previous life#modao#lace speaks
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Tags by @ishalf
Its insane to me how incapable Light is at Acting Normal. Like we all clown on him for not jerking off to porn mags but like. The way L will get inches away from his face and he DOESNT REACT. You're sitting ramrod stright next to some dude in your space PUNCH HIM BACK UP ANY NORMAL HUMAN INSTINCT. He's SO obsessed with not appearing suspicious that he digs himself a deeper fucking hole by being a FREAK. Any NORMAL person would have gotten tired of Ls shit and had a breakdown. They would have left LONG before the Yotsuba arc it does not matter if you're actually innocent or not. The closest he ever gets to being Normal is when he has amnesia and refuses to manipulate Misa. Outside of that he's still so stupidly insistent on proving his innocence to his detriment that I'm convinced he was always just Like That
#yeah man im fucking screaming and crhing and throwing up#its almost like early on in his life he internalized that average=normal#and therefore by being above average in so many ways#he could only ever approximate normalcy#his human instincts make him Atypical and therefore he must not be normal#therefore he must suppress every single one of them to complete his act of normalcy#hate this guy. hate him hate him sooooo much#also the point about the morality of light's perspective of the world pre canon#ive always thought it was really interesting how the anime left that in the dust#light is our protag but hes an antihero so hes Unconventional#the show wants the audience to go hey!! thats bc hes playing judge jury AND executioner!!! too much!!!#but it never points attention to the fact that L is just as willing to sacrifice lives to achieve Justice as light is#how he got that guy to pretend to be him to bait light into committing murder live on television#or his attempts to convince a nation to test the 13 days rule#Ls not against the inherent act of Killing. Ls against Killing without State Sanctioning#he actively WANTS to catch light knowin that the outcome would be execution#idk man. that scene w matsuda too. idk man!!!!!!#dn#yagami light#kenon.notes
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also… been having a figure skater xiaophros au in my head recently… xiao’s an up-and-coming star who never really asked for the popularity, and aphros is the quiet artistic kid he’s had a crush on since he was seven
#the vibes are formulating#i feel like in every xiaophros story there’s always a couple of spiderverse-esque canon events#i.e. havria’s death…….. sorry aphros you ain’t escaping this one#and also losing the other yakshas in some way or other (whether that be death or losing contact)#and probably xiao’s abusive upbringing (he can’t get away from that either hahahahahahah)#that reminds me i need to write the pianist thing as well oh lord#but anyway.#yeah.#maybe havria passed from disease in this au? because the context isn’t quite as dramatic as a literal worldwide god war#zhongli started out as xiao’s coach before catching onto the mistreatment in his home life and took him under his wing…?#(basically the same as the pianist thing. sorry. the formula works ok)#and then for xiao and aphros… maybe they went to the same pre-school/ primary school?#they met shortly after xiao started skating methinks#or maybe they just lived close to each other as neighbours or something#i can imagine aphros being an international student who moved to liyue from somewhere else (sal terrae…?) at an early age#and maybe havria didn’t come with them (like how she stayed in sal terrae during the a.w.) but they stayed in contact#and she was kind of aphros’ only close friend (and crush) as they settled into this new country#even as they began to grow closer with xiao#and then havria fell sick and aphros couldn’t be there…#oh yeah. they are NOT escaping the trauma#but yeah! xiao and aphros are both slight misfits in this au i guess and they slowly grow closer#then they get separated for some time for some reason (like during the a.w. in the fic)#potentially as xiao’s fame grows he has less time to spend on himself and his personal relationships? and they sort of fall out of contact#and then they bump into each other again when they’re older#maybe at uni or something#i really should stop now#goodnight#r.ambling in the tags#i think i’m going to start using that tag now for when this happens
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Paris Valerian but i redesign his dragon form for funsies based on how i see him=. Not sure if I like this design bc im not a fan of bulkier looking dragons but for Paris I think this works??
Some headcanons about this design:
has a bit of a bull-like look bc I associate bulls with persistence and madness and idk that fits Paris well so if Fian has a “fox” motif Paris gets a “bull” one for his dragon form
His design is based a lot on how a stereotypically evil dragon would look???? Because imo OG!Paris reads as a massive antagonist and I think giving him a look that fits that vibe in his dragon form works!! Especially because he still is an antagonist in a way (though god does he not read that way lmao)
he’s stronger in his dragon form than Fian is and he uses this to his advantage to bully Fian around whenever they playfight as dragons. That said, it seems Paris is surprisingly gentle towards Fian in this form and never hurts him.
he uses this form to intimidate people into getting what he wants. He’s not used to getting retaliated against while in this form and quickly respects anyone who does so (read: Fian, Lyla and Helene)
the silver scales on his body can glow in the same way his eyes do. Typically, he keeps them dull-colored (see above) but if he feels a strong emotion of any sorts they’ll glow brightly without him meaning to (noticeably: they glow constantly whenever Helene is around for obvious reasons~).
#it hurts to see the person you like cry. but you wouldn't understand-#that Paris#TME#TME art#Paris being weak for Fian is so canon it's literally joked about more than once that they're unnaturally close to each other#i wish the manhwa/LN would elucidate more on the instinctive (and clearly qpt) bond dragons share with each other#and why that bond was overridden in the original story by each dragon's obsession with Helene when they'd yet to imprint on her#man i still remember reading about how Paris felt utterly alone once he awakened as a dragon and Fian coming into his life made him so happ#i still get teary over that passage in particular ahgjgjfgjjh that part of Paris's backstory hits where it hurts lmao#i also really wish the manhwa had included that about Paris because it really fleshed him out knowing that it wasn't that he bonded w/ Fian#that changed him but that he finally FINALLY had someone else who could understand him that made him happier in life and chill TF out#if you pair info given about Paris in the light novel with what's given about his manhwa self he's an amazingly well done character#like ive literally gone from thinking him cringe + unlikable to being deeply invested in and sympathetic to his character#also fun fact i find the idea of Paris and Fian playfighting as dragons really fucking cute#it's not in any way canon (well it kind of is actually lol) but i like hc'ing that awakened dragons need to spend social time together in-#their dragon forms doing shit like playfighting or resting together in order to live happier lives#and unfortunately this kind of qpt relationship is not understood by humans/mermaids/mages hence why Paris went absolutely mad pre-Fian bc#no one around him was capable of understanding the desperation he felt to fill the void in his heart and unfortunately he turned to Helene-#to fill that void to the point he went insane over her to the point he tried to completely monopolize her as a means to salvage himself#(which understandably pisses Helene off in the og timeline to the point it's no wonder she rejects him lmao)#and now that in Lyla's timeline Paris has gotten someone in his life who understands him and fills the void in his heart#he's more than capable of empathizing with Helene and seeing her as a person he wants to genuinely learn more about even if he can't quite-#shake his obsessive tendencies towards her#(which is really really REALLY fun to watch and i hope to see more development from his character)#(because i really do want him to reflect on Fian's words of when it comes to Helene)#(not that I think Helene would ever cry in front of him bc of him but she might do so because of Lyla)#(and god do i wanna see Paris eat his words about finding Fian's romantic-ness corny lmao)#yes i very much can write a whole-ass essay of a character study on Paris he's wildly fascinating#and he's so NOT my type which makes it even funnier that im as fixated on him as i am right now
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imagine being fwbs with gojo n in the middle of folding you like a lawn chair he noses at your cheek n goes “hey do u wanna be my girlfriend?”
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ BEST OF THE BEST — GOJO SATORU.
contents. fwb! satoru, fem! reader, minors do not interact, unprotected sex, mating press, creampie, non canon compliant (suguru and shoko are ur friend group >:( tyvm), very cheesy ending my b, yes i made a reference to this is where you’re weak, right? sue me, petnames (sweetheart, sweet girl, princess, baby)
“bet you were waitin’ for this all day, huh sweetheart?” satoru always has a way with words—a very unique, special, and irritating way with words that routinely manages to get under your skin.
you would scoff—in fact, you would call him quite a colorful variation of words if his thick cock wasn’t pressing comfortably against your sweet spot.
so instead, you gasp a quiet, “f-fuck—right there.”
“yeah, i know,” he chuckles, “this is where you need me, huh? where you’re weak?”
you can’t do anything but whimper at that, hands wrapped tightly around him as they claw into his shoulder. he always wears the marks you leave like a good sport too—shows up to the gym in a tank top that shows them off good and well, right for suguru to see them clear as day. you almost block satoru right on the spot when he sends you a selfie in the mirror, showing off the angry marks with a wink following.
it’s a bit of a predicament, fucking your high school friend and not letting anyone know. the idea of shoko and suguru finding out that every other night, satoru is in your bed as his cum leaks out of your abused cunt is enough to make you nauseous—but never nauseous enough not to open the door for him.
the most unfortunate fact you’ve learned in your life is that satoru knows how to fuck—in fact, he knows how to fuck you well enough that you let him come back. it’s a bit shameful, really, the way you let him knock on your door, the way you open it and let him in, the way you actually fuck him and let him sleep in your bed until the morning.
and then (because he’s an asshole) he wakes up, gives you a sly wink, and murmurs i’ll be back soon, yeah? keep that bed warm for me, sweetheart.
“c-close, toru—‘m gonna….gonna—”
“gonna what? cum? already? barely even fucked you yet,” he hums, hooking your leg over his shoulder before all but pressing you in half. you mewl at the way his tip brushes past your folds and splits you in half—deeper this time with the new position. “look at that,” he coos, staring down at the way his cock slips in and out of you, “takin’ me so well, sweet girl. i think you can go a bit longer, don’t you?”
“m-more, more—need—”
“i know, i know,” he grins, “need me to fuck you dumb, don’t you? don’t worry, princess. i’ll give you more.”
his hips snap into you, pelvis rocking against yours as his pre cum and your slick mix, making a mess between your bodies as it coats your skin. you gasp, pulling satoru closer as his head falls to tuck into your shoulder, his labored breaths fanning against the shell of your ear.
“‘s good,” you whine, “f-feels good, toru.”
“yeah? feel that? squeezin’ me so tight, i can barely move,” he groans, letting out a sweet, low sound into your ear that has your spine shivering—you think you could come undone from that, from the sounds he makes as your walls flutter around him.
you think everything about satoru is enough to send you over the edge, from the sound of his voice to that pretty face of his when he spills into you.
you know he’s close—you can feel the slight twitch of his cock as his pace gets sloppier, as his thumb finds your clit and rubs desperate circles into the sensitive nerves, as he practically presses your knees to your shoulders and bullies his throbbing cock deep into your dripping cunt. and you’re close too, head spinning as your eyes flutter shut and your lips part with a broken wail.
“c-close—‘gonna cum, toru,” you gasp, voice coming in labored pants as his breath hitches.
you look perfect like this—like you’re his, like your body was made for him to touch in sinful ways, like it was his cock that was always supposed to fit into you and make you fall apart. his hand grabs yours, and without thinking, both of your fingers interlace.
“baby,” he hums, his nose pressing into your cheek as he kisses the skin softly, “‘m gonna make you mine, yeah? wanna be my girlfriend? my sweet girl? you want it, right?”
you should be shocked—you should stop and ask him what he means, what he’s playing at, what he thinks he’s doing toying with your mind.
instead, you gasp, pulling him closer as your walls spasm around him, back arching and eyes rolling back as the coil in your belly snaps and you cum. hard. harder than he’s ever made you before. does the idea of being his really do that to you? does the idea of being his sweet, precious girl outside of your bed at night really send you hurdling over the edge like that?
evidently, it does—and your high sends him right into his own. like he needs you to fall apart so he can too, like the way he knows you feel good makes him feel good too. maybe he does want you, maybe it’s not a sick joke. the way his voice cracks with a strained call of your name certainly says as much—the way his hand tightens its grip on yours, the way his hips rut desperately as he presses impossibly closer, the way he presses hot, scattered kisses along your cheek and jaw as he groans through his release.
it’s messy. it’s filthy. it’s downright dirty the way satoru fucks his cum into you, letting it drip down your thighs and mark your skin—but it feels like being his.
you think you might want that.
he’s gentle when he finishes—carefully unhooks your legs from his shoulders before running a hand along your thigh and squeezing as he observes the cum dripping between your legs. you huff when he collapses over you, glaring at him as his weight presses onto your form.
“you’re heavy,” you grunt, smacking at his shoulder.
he hums, nose pressing to your jaw as he kisses it. “not moving till you answer me.”
“satoru, don’t joke about—”
“how rude,” he gasps, “you think i would joke while i’m balls deep in—”
“oh my god,” you groan, covering your face with your hands, “please stop talking.”
he grins, chuckling as he shuffles up to bury his face into your neck, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin. “you don’t wanna be my girlfriend? that’s gonna hurt my feelings, y’know.”
satoru has always been like that, wearing an easy grin and plastering that playfulness on like a second skin. you can hear it though—the slight unease in his voice. you can’t fathom letting everyone know that sometimes, you let satoru fuck you…but maybe knowing that sometimes, you hold hands, and maybe kiss, and perhaps snuggle on the couch, and potentially even share a bed to sleep, not just fuck, but sleep—maybe they can know that.
that doesn’t sound so bad.
“that depends,” you hum, pretending to think, “how good at being a boyfriend are you?”
“excellent,” he plays along, “best of the best.”
“that’s just big talk. you could be lying for all i know,” you point out—but your fingers slip into his hair, twirling the sweaty strands along your fingers.
“well, you’ll just have to let me prove i’m a good boyfriend—so that means i have to be your boyfriend. sorry, it’s the only way.”
if satoru hears the giggle you try to hide as you sigh exaggeratedly, he doesn’t mention it, lips pulling into a giddy smile as he pulls his head out of your neck and presses his forehead to yours. your hands cup his cheeks, squeezing gently.
“i guess if this is the only way,” you shake your head theatrically, “you can be my boyfriend. for now.”
“i’m grateful,” he snorts—and then there’s a peck to your lips. one, two, three gentle kisses before he presses a lingering one. it’s sweet, and slow, and just a bit needy as he presses deeper into you. “now i can tell suguru the scratches on my back are yours. he’s been asking a lot.”
leave it to satoru to speak and ruin the moment just by opening his mouth.
“satoru,” you hiss, throwing him a sharp look, “i think you’d be a better boyfriend when your mouth is shut.”
“then i can’t kiss you,” he gasps, “that’s the best part of being my girlfriend.”
and just to prove it, he kisses you again—and maybe, although you hate to admit it, he’s right. it is the best part.
i wanna be his girlfriend :(
#thirstee!#teepods.writings#thirsts.#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you
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I’m a Pathetic Needy Ex Boyfailure Bill Truther personally, but also I think ford ABSOLUTELY knew they had something. Emphasis on HAD. Ford is over it, honestly he’s kind of embarrassed that he ever saw anything in Bill, even without all his hatred of him due to his deplorable actions. Meanwhile Bill is INFINITELY more obsessed withDord then he ever was when they even HAD something. I think Ford should kill him with hammers
Any Post-canon interaction between Bill and Ford in my mind is just Bill desperately begging for one more chance and Ford telling him to eat shit and die. I heart one sided deranged madness inducing toxic yaoi.
i don't ship billford as a mutual pining between them. i ship it as in bill is a cringe-fail ex and ford had no idea they were in a relationship.
#aria reblogs#aria ramblings#tfw your abusive ex situationship won’t stop begging to get back together even though you spent the past 30 years trying to kill him#also I LOOOOVE the idea of Ford moving on and living his best life meanwhile Bill is seething because he fumbled so irreparably bad#also having ford be attracted to bill in the past and really think they were in a relationship makes bills abuse even WORSE in my head#not to say it wasn’t bad before but Yknow. betrayal of trust in not just a platonic or religious sense but a romantic one too? hell yeah#and bill never gets to be redeemed in my perfect billford scenario. because I love tormenting him#I hope he gets run over by a truck 💚💚💚💚#<- average bill cipher fan#I do still enjoy all the little bill redemption and Billford villain couple aus though#my favorite flavor of Billford may be disgusting rancid one sided irreparable radioactive yaoi#but even I can enjoy something sweet and silly now and again#although I’m prolly never gonna write or draw something like that post-canon. pre-portal maybe.
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if you're doing mouthwashing can i have daisuke x reader hcs plz... just pretend the tulpar never crashed i want him to be happy hjdkjkdsjg
OMG ANON…you get me. Daisuke has me in a CHOKEHOLD. Ok so here are how the headcanons are gonna go. Pre dating/confession. Dating and NSFW. I had another anon ask me to do NSFW head canons with daisuke. So why not kill two birds with one stone. The regular head canon r gonna be Gn. But the NSFW are gonna have some AFAB stuff. Still can kinda be read as Gn.
Crushing - Confession
- I believe Daisuke crushing on you would be a very, you fell first, but he fell harder kinda thing.
- I think that because Daisuke can be well.. a bit dense (still love him though). That he’s not really gonna pick up on any hints or flirting. So you kinda of have to wait till he realizes he likes you.
- When he does realize he likes you is probably when you were sticking up for him against Swansea(I love you Swansea but you still were mean to Daisuke🙁).
- It’s gonna be easy to tell when he likes you. This man is gonna be so obvious😭🙏
- We all know he’s eager to please right? He’s doing this with you 2 times more. Always asking if you needed anything, he’d be right on it.
-Little things to. I’m talking some laying his shirt over a puddle for you to step on. I feel like he tries to woe you with these gestures.(and it works)
- Daisuke loves listening to your voice. No matter how your voice sounds. He’ll go out of his ways to find you to ramble on about something. He thinks you look and sound cute rambling. o(^w^)o
- Also I think he just likes looking at you. There have been MANY times where Swansea has smacked Daisuke in the back of the head, cause he got sidetrack staring at you with this very lovesick grin. Staring like you personally hung the stars for him.
- Daisuke would be a bit too nervous to think of confessing first. So Swansea would definitely be pushing him to confess. He’s tired of seeing you two ogling at each other and doing nothing about it😒.
- Our sly little man some how convinced Curly to make a cake for him to give you. (I swear on my life curly is a die hard romantic but I’m saving that for when I do headcanons on him later)
- I feel like Daisuke would sneak in your room. Waiting for you to enter. When you do he lifts up the cake in his hands, “ Imadeyouthiscakewillyoudateme” He rambled out. Being scared you would say no.
- But when you say yes. I’m not kidding he shouted “WHOO HOO!!!”. It was very funny. Daisuke would quickly put the cake down and rush to hug you,
Dating
- I feel like the affection he likes to receive is words of affection and physical contact. And for what he usually gives. Acts of service and physical affection. Let me explain
-(Daisuke receiving) It’s a bit obvious that Daisuke probably hasn’t gotten a lot of praise in his life. So I believe that he absolutely melts when you give him these encouraging words. It can range from a lot. From a small, “good job” to a “I love you so much, no matter what.”. It makes him so happy like you don’t even understand.
-(Daisuke receiving) Idk it’s just a an itch in my brain telling me. I think he likes all kinds of physical affection. From holding his pinky, to wrapping you arms and legs around him cuddling. If it insures some sort of touching he’s down. I also think he like resting his head on either your thighs, or chest. Resting his eyes. PLEASE scratch his head or tangle your fingers through his hair. He loves it so much. Like it calms him down so much.
-(Daisuke giving) You can’t tell me this man isn’t at least a bit clingy. Not in a “if you talk to someone else I’ll kill them” type of way but a “ you make me feel safe and secure” kind of way. Does that make sense? Anyways, he loves flopping onto you when he sees you laying down. Like I’m talking full rag doll flop. I fully believe he brought a stuff animal on the ship. So he fully treats you like a stuff animal. Quick random switch. I don’t think he likes being the small spoon. Only because I feel like he needs to sleep holding something. I don’t think he would mind being big spoon. But overall he prefers you two facing each other.
-(Daisuke giving) We all know he has a knack for trying to be as helpful as he can. We can see that when he tried to fix the vent! To trying to crawl up it to save Anya… guys I can’t do this anymore. ANYWAYS. This man does not want you to lift a FINGER. He is so head over heels inlove with you. He’ll do anything for you. He’ll ask him to bring you a star and he’d ask which one. LIKE HE LOVES YOU SM AND JUST WANTS TO SEE YOU HAPPY.
- He loves kissing. Receiving and giving. From a simple peck, to kissing your face all over. He just loves it so much. He finds it so romantic. Listen hear me out. Non sexual neck kissing. He could be waking up before you(highly unlikely). Softly kissing your neck to wake you up. Just soft and sweet.
- Late night talks are a must with him. It could be about anything really. From what plot twist you guys thought would happen on the shitty soap opera you guys were watching. What ifs, what your guys future would look like, what you guys would be if you were animals. The topics you guys talk about are far and wide. But he enjoys the comfort of being by you.
- You can’t tell me this man isn’t a big back. Daisuke definitely brought a bunch of snacks with him. So he will happily share with you. He is a very giving person. But also expect to get your food stolen sometimes.. make sure you get extra food in your plate to give him the rest. He would appreciate it a lot!!!!!:3
- He also really loves spending anytime he can with you. Especially if it involves games. Let me tell you. YOU DO NOT WANNA PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS WITH THIS MAN. He would cook you so hard in the game it’s not even funny. He’s literally in the top 10 players in dress to impress.
NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (AFAB)
- Praise kink. YOU GUYS CANT TELL ME I’M WRONG. You guys could water board me. Scream at me that I’m wrong. Every time you praise him when y’all are getting freaky. Busting. Like it gets him going SO HARD (pun intended) Like omg… Especially if you praise his efforts/ how good he’s doing. Pray that you’ll be able to walk after.
- This man is LOUD…… grunting, whimpering, moaning, panting. Any noise you can think of hes made it. Like he doesn’t even think of suppressing his noises. He also doesn’t want you to either! He loves hearing you. He thinks the louder you are = the better he’s doing. So please don’t suppress your noises he’ll get so sad:(. But back to the topic. This man needs something to muffle him. Wether that be kissing you, or lightly nibbling your neck. When he starts to get to loud you need to find a way to shut him up.
-Speaking of loud Swansea has definitely caught you guys once’s. Y’all were a bit to loud and he was wonder what was going on and… Let’s just say he wasn’t able to look at you guys for a bit. But after he gave Daisuke a fist bump. Man to man🗣️🗣️🗣️
- Daisuke is willing to try almost everything. I full heartedly believe this man is a virgin. The furthest he’s ever gone is making out. So he’s eager to learn! He was a bit nervous your guys first time. But after a bit that nervousness dissolved into eagerness! I don’t think he’d be into hurting you badly. And I don’t think he likes pain that much either. But I think he would like his hair being pulled. Or maybe you lightly scratching his back.
- I think he would be open to having sex not just in your rooms. Either in random room barely used. Or a couple of times on the couch when everyone was in their sleeping quarters. Thankfully you guys weren’t caught!!! But Curly was wondering what that clear sticky substances was on the couch…
-(AFAB) Munch no question asked. LISTEN WHEN I SAW HE WANTED AN EXTRA PACK OF SWEETENER I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT BIG BACK MUNCH BEHAVIOR. Also because this man loves to please. DO YALL SEE ME VISION. This man who’ll slurp it up like no tomorrow. His favorite made is your pleasure is his pleasure. But omg like he gets so into eating you out it’s not even funny… You have to pry his face away from your core. And he looks so hot. His hair a mess. His eyes dazed but still has that love in them. And your juice all over his face like…
- He doesn’t have a favorite position. He likes way too many. And when you asked him what position he liked the most, he only responded with, “how can I pick a favorite when there all so good, and what about the ones we haven’t tried yet!” Safe to say you guys went to go try some more positions 😜
- I know I’ve been doing really freaky headcanons but I think Daisuke loves soft sex and morning sexy to. Maybe the morning after a bad day HES still feeling bad. You both are still groggy but you have time before you have to get up. Hell sink himself into. Before thrusting as his arms are wrapped around your waist. His hot breath on your neck, as he trailed kisses all along it. Just because he can be a freak doesn’t mean he can’t be really soft either.
- Daisuke loves cock warming. Try. Try to prove me wrong. He loves cuddling. He loves being as close to you as possible. What’s better than combining the two! But after a bit he does get a bit impatient and starts to subtly thrust. He really is trying to not to be you feel to good!
Authors note: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I STARTED THIS WHEN I GOT HOME AND FELL ASLEEP MID WAY THROUGH WRITING THIS. Again sorry for request being slow I’m trying my best😭🙏
#mouthwash smut#mouthwashing smut#mouthwash x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing#daisuke smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing game#mouthwash game#mouthwash#daisuke x reader
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Explaining the James Logan Howlett (Wolverine) Lore for the new fans :)
I made this as a little cheat sheet for all the new Logan/Wolverine fans, in case you’ve never seen the movies or read the comics. Hopefully it’ll help with your fanfics and understanding his character better <3
Logan is my favorite of the Marvel superhero’s, and he and I go way back….so far back that my Dad dressed up as Wolverine and I as Rogue for Halloween in 2006. So he holds a very special place in my heart.
Lore - Part 2 Wolverine Comics
If you’ve seen X-men Origins: Wolverine, I hate to break it to you, but that backstory is not canon to the X-men universe. The later movies really screwed up the timeline. So the information here is strictly from the comics.
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Pre-Adamantium Binding:
His real name is James Howlett, ‘Logan’ is later used as an alias to distance himself from his past.
He was born sometime around 1880, in Alberta Canada.
He is the illegitimate son of Elizabeth Howlett and Thomas Logan. He grew up on the Howlett estate and believed John Howlett was his real father.
His mutant powers first appeared when he was a child. He has accelerated healing, heightened senses, and retractable bone claws.
The trigger was caused by Thomas Logan killing James Howlett. The overwhelming fear and anger made his power manifest, blinded with rage he kills Thomas.
As his biological father dies, he reveals to Logan that he is his true father. The event is deeply traumatizing, and Logan runs away from his family estate. His mother commits suicide shortly after.
Logan has a half brother known as Sabertooth (Victor Creed) who has similar powers to the Wolverine but is more ‘animalistic’
The details vary across the comics but the brothers are always seen as rivals. And often pitted against eachother.
Logan served in WWI, WWII, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.
He also served in a Canadian military force known as ‘Department H’ that specialized in superhuman affairs. (This was after the experiment, I’ll go into more detail later)
Sometime before the Weapon X program: On Earth-616, Logan had a wife (Itsu) and son in Japan where he was training at the time. They were killed by the Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes)
Weapon X Program - Adamantium Binding:
The Weapon X program was run by multiple people working in secret for the Canadian government. Originally beginning in 1845, their goal was to experiment on mutants and create their own super-soldiers.
Logan was deceived and manipulated into undergoing the Weapon X experiment. He did not consent to being a test subject.
For some reason the X-Men Origins movie makes it out to be that Logan willingly chose to undergo this process, only to later reveal that he was tricked into doing so.
Before being captured, he was still struggling with his identity, he was close to 100 years old at the time. His life was filled with violence and loss. Making him physically and mentally vulnerable.
He was a prime target for exploitation.
Part of the experiment was to completely erase his memories and replace them with false ones. This allowed them complete control over him.
This also made it difficult for him to recall how he ended up in the program to begin with.
I repeat: they completely wiped his memory. His whole identity was gone.
100 years of memories were gone.
The bonding process turned his entire skeleton and bone claws into indestructible metal.
Due to his regenerative nature, Logan was not given anesthetic or put under for the procedure. It was excruciatingly painful.
Logan worked as a mercenary for private military contractors. He took on these assignments without fully understanding their implications because of his fragmented memory.
Sometime later he became a member of X-Force, a private military unit (affiliated with the CIA) that dealt with incredibly violent operations.
The purpose of the project was to create an unstoppable killing machine. With their end goal being to erase his humanity all together. However Logan’s mental fortitude allowed him to resist the conditioning and make his escape before it was too late.
After escaping, Logan developed a mistrust with authority. And just people in general. He felt deeply betrayed by the Weapon X program. And he struggles with the fear of being used as a weapon.
The escape and aftermath of Weapon X:
After everything Logan went through, the intense trauma and confusion significantly impacted his actions and mindset.
He was left with extreme psychological damage, and behaved more as an animal than a man for the first few years of his freedom. Living in the wilderness of Canada.
Quite literally a feral man. He lost touch of his humanity. Embracing his animalistic abilities, turning him into an apex predator.
Logan has the ability to enter something called “Beserker Rage” which he becomes entirely driven by animalistic instinct. Turning him into an unstoppable force and exerting himself for very long periods of time.
Think of when you see him running on all fours…
Over time, Logan began to regain bits and pieces of his humanity. He was later discovered by Heather and James MacDonald Hudson who took him in and helped him recover physically and mentally.
(Logan actually fell in love with Heather, and James became his best friend. They were the closest thing he had to a family)
After he recovered, he was recruited by the Canadian governments ‘Department H’. They were responsible for a lot of his training and became a key member in Canada’s superhero team: Alpha Flight.
This is where he took on the code name “Wolverine”
His time with Alpha Flight was short lived. And soon he was approached by Charles Xavier, who was looking for mutants to join his X-Men. He recognized Logan’s potential and offered him a place on the team as well as the promise to help him regain his memory.
Logan accepted, and his time with the X-Men marked a critical and significant moment in his life. Under Xavier’s guidance he was able to rebuild his identity and gradually piece together his past. All while fighting for the rights of mutants.
Being part of the X-Men gave him a sense of purpose and direction. Although his main goal had always been to uncover what he had lost, which was himself. He still struggles with trust and relationships, but eventually forms strong bonds with the other X-men.
His past with Weapon X still haunts him. And he has vivid and terrible nightmares about what he had done and what was done to him.
I won’t go into detail about his time with the X-men because that varies a lot across the comics. Just know that he had a love-hate relationship with them, but he ultimately loved them in the end.
Some sad facts about Logan that actually haunt me:
Logan has outlived everyone he ever loved. Family, friends, even his own children. He is so so so lonely.
Immense amount of survivors guilt. He feels unworthy of the life he continues to live.
He suffers from chronic nightmares. Often waking up in a violent and panicked state.
Deep-seated fear of abandonment that goes all the way back to his early childhood. He isolates himself to protect himself from more pain.
Tons of self-loathing. He believes himself to be nothing more than a killer. He thinks he is unworthy of love and happiness.
In the “Old Man Logan” storyline, he is tricked into killing the entire X-Men team. This event haunts him for the rest of his life.
Logan had a long, unrequited love for Jean Gray. He has watched her die multiple times, and each time a piece of him dies with her. On one occasion, he even had to kill her himself.
When he succumbs to “beserker rage” he loses control of himself. And the aftermath horrifies him. He is even afraid of himself at times and one of the reasons why he distances himself from others.
Some happy/soft facts to make up for everything you just read:
Logan is incredibly fatherly at times, often taking younger mutants under his protection and guidance. He becomes a mentor to them and looks out for their well-being.
In one of the comics he takes a young girl (Jubilee) to the mall and followers her around carrying her bags. He loves doting on her and I find it so adorable.
He also teaches another mutant named Kitty how to dance.
In one mission he is tasked with taking care of an infant, Hope. And he is incredibly gentle and tender with her. Cradling her in his arms and being fiercely protective.
He has a deep love and connection with animals. Especially ones that have been mistreated or misunderstood.
Caring for an injured wolf, he nurses it back to health and releases it back into nature.
He also adopts a stray, abused dog at one point.
In one of the timelines, he funded and ran the ‘Jean Gray School for Higher Learning’ He was the headmaster, and was dedicated to protecting and teaching young mutants.
In one scene he literally makes pancakes for all the students. I love him so much.
His relationship with Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) is very brotherly. They share alot of respect and understanding for each other, and Nightcrawler often serves as Logan’s moral compass.
His happiest memories are when he was training in Japan. And he has a deep appreciation and admiration for the culture. Taking on the samurai code of honor, and respecting its discipline and humility.
His entire relationship with Laura Kinney (X-23). Essentially his daughter. Taking on a father-figure role for her.
In one of the comics he organizes a birthday party for her, knowing she never had one. He goes all out and it shows just how much he loves her.
Logan has a great sense of humor. Often dry and sardonic, he’s known for his quick wit and playful banter. Which adds a layer of warmth to his otherwise tough persona.
He is very fond of life’s simple pleasures. Which reflects his inner desire for peace and normalcy. He values the little things that make life enjoyable.
His numerous acts of kindness towards strangers. Logan is compassionate at heart.
He doesn’t comfort others with his words, but rather his presence. Logan has a very unique understanding of grief and tries to give others relief in knowing they aren’t alone.
WOW okay I wrote way too much. Tbh I actually cut a ton out of this but if anybody wants a part 2 I’d be happy to share more. Shoutout to my brother for helping me source all this with his comics lol.
If you read all this, you’re a real one. And I’m so glad we’re all witnessing the Logan Howlett Renaissance
#logan howlett xmen#james logan howlett#x men comics#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#marvel
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ok. years have passed and we've had some distance, so i'm finally gonna take the leap of faith that tma fandom is finally ready to hear me on this. let's talk about tannins.
161 was the first tma episode i heard on early release, and i felt the bit where martin declines wine and cites tannins was pretty obvious in its implications. cool, got it, say no more.
imagine my surprise when i was one of maybe three people i saw read between the lines there, in a fandom famous for red stringing--a fandom that immediately caught the much less obvious thread of ignition sources in the same episode. i'll spell it out: alcohol is an issue for martin.
maybe it just felt obvious because addiction is a pet issue for me--as it is for jonny, who has said everything he writes is filtered through a lens of addiction. i don't know if that's due to his own experience or a loved one's, and i won't speculate; i also don't know if martin personally struggled with drinking or just avoids it for fear he would, but alcohol would fit what we know of his family. his dad walking out and his mum spiralling into bitter wallowing and verbal abuse? i'd bet one or both of them drank, yeah.
on a basic level martin tries to decline alcohol, and that alone should have raised eyebrows given what we know of martin and, again, a fandom that dissects everything. we already knew martin "K" blackwood lied about his personal life and his family in particular, especially pre-canon, which is when this flashback took place. i was shocked that everyone took his flimsy excuse at face value with no further questions.
and the excuse is flimsy. martin turns down wine by--nervously--exclaiming tannins are "a proven headache trigger!" which sounds like trivia from a magazine cover and not the words of someone who actually has headaches--and it hasn't come up before or since. jon, confused, points out that tea, a drink martin consumes to a degree that is memetic both in- and out-of-universe, also contains tannins, and martin squawks a panicked, "what?!"
if tannins are enough of a concern for martin that he knew they're in wine and so avoids it, why didn't he know they're in his drink of choice? why does he still drink tea at the time of canon, and why doesn't he struggle with constant headaches from consuming 'a proven headache trigger' day in and day out? why, indeed, would someone avoid wine and not tea?
when sasha insists martin drink he caves and agrees to 'just a drop'. i imagine him pouring it in a plant, which admittedly he could have done if tannins really were the issue. i will say that i, for one, would be less likely to falsely agree to something that makes me physically ill than to a private issue that i'd rather not be pressed on any further. this scene also establishes martin's birthday was an ice cream party instead of the more traditional visit to a pub.
also, this scene was in the first episode of the final season, as one of three flashbacks that could have been to any pre-canon event in the archives. prime narrative real estate. not really time one would waste on establishing the important character context that martin has... headaches. which never comes up before or after, even regarding the week he spent in spiral town. but you know what is pretty crucial character background...?
it felt like a no-brainer, and yet all i saw was h/c fluff about jon attending to martin's headaches. and i hate feeling bitter about disability representation. i want folks with chronic headaches to feel seen and have fluffy escapist fantasies. i don't want to be mad about people portraying a character with a disability. but, guys? you got the wrong disability. jonny sent a clear message, and it went over fandom's head.
#martin blackwood#tma#the magnus archives#tma meta#the magnus archives meta#tma 161#mag161#sage speaks#sage original post#meta#im sure others caught it that i didnt see but listen. i was DEEP in the fandom. people getting it made up maybe 1% of the response i saw#and i had people fighting me for saying it#alcohol cw#alcoholism cw#addiction cw#greatest hits#wonderful news: tma fandom WAS ready to hear me say this!
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