#is my dad and he's fucking dead
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tapeworrmart · 2 months ago
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Red Dead Revenge (low honor Arthur)
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future-crab · 3 months ago
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A funny thing I've noticed about responses to the Locked Tomb is that most people I talk to agree that the memes and references are kind of hit or miss for them, but no one can agree on which are the hits and which are the misses.
I've seen someone whose taste and opinions I really respect say, "Look, not all of the memes in these books work for me and I think overall there are too many of them, but None House, Left Grief is fucking gold," and someone else whose taste and opinions I really respect say, "Look, I don't hate all the memes in these books, but None House, Left Grief is just unforgivable I hate it."
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.
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puppetmaster13u · 11 months ago
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Prompt 139
So. Dan has somehow found a small child. A practically newly born ghostling who had literally fallen right on top of him. A ghostling who had practically formed right above him, far away from nurseries and instead above him of all ghosts? 
Him, the Sunkiller? The Worldeater? Jordan Vladimir FentonNightingale-Foley-Manson? Son of Space and War? Bringer of the End?? Seriously, what the hell! Ghostlings shouldn’t even be able to form within other ghost’s Lairs, and he knew for a fact this wasn’t his own ghostling seeing as he wasn’t interested in such things. 
So here Dan is, feeling more confused than he ever has with a newborn ghostling clinging to him and sobbing in his arms about wanting his dad. What even is his unlife right now.
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mellomadness · 2 months ago
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everyone’s already talked about how welly boots by the amazing devil was definitely written while joey was reading the witcher books and working on the show, and how geralt and ciri’s relationship are definitely influential in the song’s creation but like. has anyone talked about the song as is?
it’s from the perspective of a too-soon dead father, telling a story to—presumably—his living daughter whose ears can no longer hear his words and yet he continues to tell the tale. and as she grow up he continues to speak to her, always in her corner, even and especially when she breaks down and screams her hatred toward him in her grief—“I’ve been so scared, you left me here behind, do you not care? how the fuck am I supposed to carry on… without you here?”—he is still there, willing with everything he has left that she will still feel his love, feel the comfort in the ghostly hand on her back, feel his strength and take solace in him, even though they are worlds apart now.
and as she stands in the grass outside her childhood home she feels the wind whip at her, enveloping her as the storm rolls in. she turns to go back inside and freezes.
a brand new pair of scarlet welly boots sits on the front porch. just like the last pair her father bought her before he died. and she finally knows.
he never left
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tma-thoughts · 4 months ago
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As a certified dbda fan, I can suspend my disbelief about a lot of the iffier writing, but y'know what I still can't wrap my head around? The fact that Charles had childhood trauma that heavy and that relevant in his day to day life and somehow Edwin just... didn't know.
Like, you're telling me that in 35 years, Charles never mentioned it? Never alluded to it, never joked about it, never even accidentally implied it? The trauma from his childhood was so bad that it still deeply triggered him 35 years after the fact, to the point he was ready to physically assault the father in the Devlin house, and Edwin had apparently never figured that out?
Had the boys never come across a case with an abusive parent before? An abused child? Any violent man? Are we supposed to believe that this is the first time in 35 years that Charles has had to confront this trauma?
Because listen, I could believe it if in the Devlin house, when Crystal told Edwin about Charles' dad, Edwin had a reaction like "I thought that might be the case but I didn't want to believe it/mention it" but NO! He flat out just,,, didn't know?? How are you going to be a detective and not figure out that your best friend of 35 years has insane childhood trauma??
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huellitaa · 8 days ago
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i don't post about politics often but if you support trump, very disrespectfully fuck you and get off my page. this is genuinely such a dangerous situation and i wish only love and light for everybody. please stay safe
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on-the-clear-blue · 3 months ago
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Not DDD but some tooth rotting fluff with Dadwing that I had written a while ago.
Dick had always had a kinda 6th sense when it came to Damian, they had been Batman and Robin together, *the* dynamic duo! So he knew when his little brother was upset, more so than usual.
It started after a failed capture, the Riddler had been out of Arkham for over 3 weeks, the longest that he had been out for quite some time.
Bruce had finally found Eddie's hiding spot and was staking him out for some time, trying to determine whether the Riddler was truly there or this was once again a decoy safe house.
Bruce regretfully has the communication skills of a particularly grumpy slug and failed to properly give Damian the brief on what he was doing after joining his father from a round of patrols with Dick.
It really truly wasn't Damian's fault that he rushed in and only really succeeded in flushing out the Riddler and driving him to ground once more.
And once again, Bruce the grumpy slug scowled, let out a grunt and demanded Damian back to the cave, further not explaining why Bruce tried to stop him from taking down the Riddler and why he didn't pursue.
---
Dick was surprised to come out of the locker rooms of the cave to his youngest brother, practically shaking with rage as he not so carefully pulled off his suit, and what was the most concerning to Dick was the quiet, but still angry mutterings coming from the boy.
Dick felt a pang in his chest at the words, his Arabic was not the best but he could tell more than a few foul words slipping from Damians lips, taking a small breath to prepare, Dick slowly approached his little brother, holding his hands up in surrender even before speaking.
"Hey Babybat? Dami? You okay kiddo? What are you-" Dick stopped mid sentence at the scathing glare that was leveled at him, blinking a few times as his brother collected himself enough to speak clearly, but his voice was rough with emotion, and his accent that was usually hidden away came back harder. (Something that Dick realized that Jason and Damian shared, the angrier they are the more they go back to their roots.)
"Do not attempt to placate me Richard, I am not playing your foolish games nor am I wanting to speak of my feelings, so I simply ask you to leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone." At the end the boys words were ground out as he threw down the Robin chest plate and stromed past Dick, heading to the showers.
---
Dick knew it was a little bit risky, but something was clearly upsetting his little brother greatly, so here he was, standing outside of Damians room, letting out a small sigh, Dick softly knocked on the door.
Two short, one long: U
Three long: O
One long, one short, one long: K
Morse code, one of the first no vocal languages that all the birds and the Bats knew, Dick and Damian had used it more than a few times on the field.
The only thing that Dick received from that was a dull thud of something being thrown at the door and the much softer sound of it falling to the floor, but the rest of the room was an inky black.
Letting out a sigh, the oldest of the Wayne children grabbed onto the doorhandle and slowly turning it, pushing the door in as he popped his head in, seeing the sacrificed plush animal laying on the ground where it was thrown
Dick felt guilty being glad it wasn't a knife.
"Dami? Little D? Kiddo I am going to come in..."
Opening the door more, Dick slipped into the dark room, spacial awareness helped Dick circumvent the few basic traps laid around his little brothers room, and made his way over to the boy's bed.
Eyes adjusting to the dark quickly, Dick could see the small outline of his brother shaking under the covers, looking so small in the king-sized bed, sitting on the edge, Dick laid a hand on where he thinks Damians hip is, feeling his heart break a little at the small jump he felt as he did.
"Can you talk to me? Please? I want to help kiddo." The only response he got was a shaky drawn in breath and the form under the blankets shifting, sitting up and revealing his younger brother.
His jade green eyes practically glowed in the dark of the room, Damians glare more tired than angry.
(It was times like these that Dick had to force himself to believe that Damian was just his brother, that the boy was not his son, wasn't the boy he raised for a year and a half as his own)
Shuffling closer to the center of the bed, Dick softly placed his forehead on the boy's own before pulling back after a second, he had learnt that little touches of affection got him a lot farther (and a lot less stabbed) with Damian.
Sitting back Dick watched as Damian crawled over, closing the distance between them and leaned his head onto Dicks shoulder, his eyes fluttering closed as he took in several deep breaths, calming himself even further.
Dick didn't dare move while Damian re-centered only snaking his arms around the smaller boy once he felt Damian go slack against him, softly cradling Damian in his arms as he pressed a soft kiss to the boy's spiky locks.
They stayed that way for a while, Dick gently rocking them both as he held his younger brother, silently waiting for Damian to speak first.
"...Father is an idiot..."
Blinking at the words that finally came out, Dick took it in stride, "For a man that is called the worlds greatest detective he can't see two feet in front of him when his loved ones are involved."
Silence lapsed after a little while, only breaking again as Damian pulled back from the hug, staring into Dicks powder blue eyes,
"...is it bad that some days I hate him Baba?" The words crush him, hitting at Dicks heart far worse than anything he had felt before, throat raw and itchy suddenly, Dick tried to not let Damians choice of words affect him.
(Dick has never heard Dami call Bruce Baba, only a ever respectful Father.)
"I-I, Um...I have felt way about B more than a few times Dames...He tries his best but sometimes...some times I do" There was a shine to Damians eyes as he looked into Dicks as the man continued softly "But I don't think it's bad...no I think you are just growing up...It...it's the beginning to when your seeing B how he can truly be like." (A scornful son of a bitch, only that Martha was a wonderful woman...)
Damians face grew distraught, and the shine pooled until soft tears ran down the boys face, "I do not wish to hate Father, but why can he simply not...speak to me? He has not spoke to me outside of case work for over three days and even during that no more than a few words..." leaning his head against Dicks shoulder, the boy's words were muffled slightly as he continued
"Is...is it wrong to expect more from him Baba?"
Dick didn't have any words for his Damian, because he sure as shit isn't Bruce's at the moment, sweeping the boy up into his arms, Dick hled him close while laying the two of them down, Dick on his back and his boy on his chest.
Running a hand through Damians soft hair, Dick thought hard of what to say, "I will speak to him...and maybe Tim...I know you two still have disagreements but honestly for some reason he listens to Tim more than even Alfred...you deserve so much more than that kiddo..."
Dick felt the soft shakes as Damian cried ontop of him, it broke the man's heart to smithereens that even while overwhelmed by emotions his boy still felt the need to try and be as quiet as possible.
Once he felt Damians shudders slow, an the boys breathing came back to a normal rate, Dick reached into his pants and pulled out his phone, "I think we both gotta unwind a little bud...have I ever shown you Bob Ross?"
---
(They watch till the sun peaks through the black out curtains, well, it plays that long, but the two where asleep for a lot longer than that.)
(Bruce gets a very long talking too by his kids, and gets the cowl taken away from him until he gets therapy)
(It only works a little.)
(He made a new one)
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winepresswrath · 9 months ago
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sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.
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charmwasjess · 4 months ago
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My absolute favorite Dooku headcanon that doesn’t appear in the books or shit but is so real to me is that he genuinely has a strong, involuntary emotional response to Yoda’s notoriously-disgusting swamp cookery. 
Like, teenage Dooku doesn’t just have Daddy Issues, he has the full subscription, and that growth spurt had to be insane on him. An extra-hungry awkward too-tall boy who is a bottomless pit of need with a bunch of family-flavored trauma?? And a parent-shaped creature is offering him filling home-cooked food along with validation?! Bring on the swamp soup. I bet he imprints on that shit so hard like a baby vulture. 
In the Master and Apprentice book, Dooku’s “thing” with his Padawans is having meals together. Did he get that tradition from Yoda? And Yoda sometimes needed to stay on Coruscant during Dooku’s training, so he was often off banging around the galaxy with Lene Kostana and Sifo-Dyas. You can almost imagine how getting back to the Temple and reconnecting with his Master over a meal would be a thing. 
It also kind of vibes delightfully with Yoda in ESB taking one look at gangly-ass Luke and immediately trying to cook for him/feed him. And seeming genuinely confused when he doesn’t like it. Oh, a needy, lost, half-grown human with more Force ability than sense? He has just the recipe!
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gamingforeternity · 3 days ago
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A Decision To Get Into Television.
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resident-gay-bitch · 9 months ago
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Regulus’ heart breaks as he stands there, just behind the willow tree, watching James and Sirius roll around on the grass, play fighting in their own little world.
Of course he left him. Of course James would pick Sirius over Regulus, wouldn’t everyone? Regulus has never been picked first. Not once.
Not by his parents, who ignored him throughout his entire childhood to focus on framing Sirius as the perfect son and heir.
Not by Sirius, who ran away, picking James to be his brother and not bothering to ask Regulus to tag along.
Not in team games, where students would pick through the class one by one, and Regulus would be one of the last few standing.
Not by his friends, who all would chose their partners, or the other people in the group first. He joined last, it’s only fair.
Not even by the lizard who inhabits his dorm room, who picks the three other boys to crawl over to first, every time.
And certainly not by James.
He thought, for once, the cycle might be broken. He thought, for once, someone would pick him first. He’d get chosen over someone else, just once.
He should have known better.
He should have known that the moment Sirius found out about he and James sneaking around in dark corridors and whispering sweet words to each other, James would have to pick.
He was foolish to think James would pick him over Sirius. He was foolish to think that James would pick him over anyone.
And as Lily, with her fiery red hair pulled back into braids, comes marching over to the boys, snatching James up by his collar and earning herself a cheek kiss, Regulus realises he should have seen that coming too.
Not even two weeks has passed since Regulus placed second to his brother, as he does in fucking everything, and James has already moved on.
Regulus would never be anyone’s first choice, he should have known better.
He knows better now.
It’s not until three months later that Regulus finally shatters from it. The crushing weight of never being enough, never being someone’s first choice.
It’s Slytherin against Ravenclaw for the quidditch cup, and there in the crowd, he spots his brother and James.
They’re decked out in silver and blue, and they don’t look at Regulus, not even once.
Barty finds him in the showers, once the entire teams cleared out. He’s dressed in a confusing mix of blue and green, for his own house and his friends.
Hes crying. Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever cried this hard before. The water is pouring down over his head, and he’s still fully dressed in his uniform.
Slytherin lost. He lost them the match, because he was more focused on trying to catch James or Sirius looking his way just once than getting the snitch. They didn’t, and he lost.
Barty clearly doesn’t know how to handle this. The lowest he’s ever seen Regulus would have been prior to an exam he stressed himself out about. Besides, Barty has always been a little awkward when handling emotions.
Regulus tries to tell him to leave him be, he really does. But his words get all chocked up in his throat and he can’t get out much more than a wail or a sob. It fucking hurts.
“What’s the matter, Black?” Barty asks, switching the water off before crouching down in front of him, “What’s got your knickers in a twist, hey?”
“I-I’ll never be… good enough.” Regulus confesses. He’s never said it out loud before. He’s not a vulnerable person, he doesn’t do this. He knows better than to let out his sob story to someone, they can hold it over him one day. But he can’t help himself, he finds. He needs to get it off his chest before it rips him open, “I’ll never… b-be enough.”
Barty’s silent for a while, clearly unsure of what to say. It only makes Regulus sob more. He pulls his knees up to his chest and hides his head in his hand, and he fucking cries. He’s sure if anyone’s still out side, they’d hear it, but Barty locked the door when he came in. At least that’s something.
“I can never be enough.” Regulus sobs again, and this time Barty kicks into action.
He’s still awkward about it, Regulus can tell, he probably has better things to do than listen to Regulus cry as well, which only makes this worse. He pushes Regulus’ sopping hair out of his face and pats his face dry with the end of his Slytherin scarf before hauling them both to their feet.
“Who told ya that?” Barty asks, pulling his wand out to try his hand at a drying spell. It mostly works, so Regulus can’t complain.
“I don’t have to be told something to know it, Barty.” Regulus sniffles, wiping his eyes. They sting, and he knows he looks terrible, but there’s no use in worrying about that now.
“Well… I think, if you haven’t been told, it can’t be true.” Barty shrugs, tucking his wand back in his pocket.
“Fine.” Regulus nods, “My entire fucking family has told me then, on several occasions.”
“Oh.” Barty stills, and he has a look on his face of utter confusion.
Regulus shakes his head and goes to walk for the door, but he winces when he puts pressure on his ankle. He fell on it weirdly, midway through the match when he was knocked off his broom. It didn’t bother him before, but it does now.
“You hurt?” Barty asks, and Regulus nods.
Silently, Barty reaches out and wraps his arm around Regulus’ waist. He flinches at first, startled by the slightly intimate touch, but then Barty pulls Regulus to shift his weight, and he relaxes into it a little. Together, they walk back across the field, Barty carrying Regulus’ broom, and half of Regulus’ weight, and make their way back to the castle.
It’s oddly silent.
It’s always quiet, between them. Regulus isn’t much of a talker, and when Barty runs out of stupid things to say he goes quiet and people watches. He usually watches Regulus, since they’re always together, something that took a while to get used to. Barty really likes to watch Regulus read, it makes him a little self conscious of any strange expressions he might be making.
But it’s a strange sort of quiet now. It’s silent. Regulus isn’t talking, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he feels ashamed for breaking down like that. He doesn’t just break down. Men don’t fucking break down. Especially not in front of people like that. He feels embarrassed that Barty found him.
Well, he’s grateful it was Barty over anyone else, seeing as though they’re supposed to be close friends, Merlin forbid Sirius found him. But it’s still uncomfortable.
The only friend any of them have that likes to talk about feelings is Pandora. Regulus assumed this was because she was a girl, at first, however, Dorcas doesn’t like talking about them either. Pandoras just strange like that, she cares about people in odd ways. Sometimes it’s nice, but mostly it’s terrifying.
Barty looks like he wants to talk. He also looks like he wants to watch Regulus, but every time he turns his head to do so he probably sees the red rimming of Regulus’ eyes and finds something much uglier than usual. It only makes Regulus feel all the more ashamed.
Barty starts whistling. It’s not his regular noise filling whistles either, it’s his uncomfortable whistling. He doesn’t want to be here, Regulus can tell. Merlin, he needs to get away.
“Going back to your dorm?” Barty asks as they round a corridor in the castle.
Regulus nods, “Is Evan-“
“He’s there.” Barty says, “Cas too… dunno about Dora, she’s always off with the fairies. If she’s not hugging Dorcas about their loss then I dunno where she is.”
Regulus goes tense, “I don’t want them to see me.”
Barty stops and swallows, “Okay… how about my dorm then? My roommates are all down by the lake. They snagged some firewhisky.”
“Okay.” Regulus agrees, because he has no where else to go.
Once settled in Barty’s dorm, Regulus changes into more comfortable clothes. Plaid pyjama pants and a green knitted sweater he knows is his own that went “missing” last year. He doesn’t question it, Barty’s strange like that. He likes to collect things, and especially Regulus’ things.
They’re both sitting on his bed, Regulus tucked up under the covers and Barty sitting on the other end. He’s flipping through one of his dorm mates magazines and whistling to himself, his regular whistling again. It calms Regulus a bit.
Lying there, stuck with his own thoughts, he can’t hide from the images that pop into his mind every time he closes his eyes. All of Sirius and James, all of them examples where Regulus placed last.
There’s so many it’s hard to filter out which ones are new and which ones are old.
They all hurt just the same.
“Whatcha crying about now?” Barty asks, looking over at Regulus. He didn’t even realise he was crying again, but he is. “Did I do something wrong? I’ll fix it, whatever. Get ya whatever you need, promise.”
“You didn’t do anything.” Regulus sniffles, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. Barty’s stuck posters up there, muggle ones of girls on motorcycles and punk bands, just to piss off his dad. “I’m just…”
“Go on.” Barty asks, sitting up now, cross legged and attentive. “There’s no one here, just me. Promise I’ll never tell.”
Regulus sighs and fiddles with his fingers, “I don’t need your pity, Barty. I’ve survived this long, I can survive some more.”
“Yeah, but you’re crying.” He says, and Regulus glares at him. “What? I ain’t seen you cry before, it’s weird. I know it’s really gotta be botherin ya if you’re crying like this. What would Dora say?”
“She’d probably try to hug me and make me cry more.” Regulus offers.
“Do you want… me to- uhm, hug you?”
“No.” Regulus glares at him. “I don’t want your pity, I said.”
“It’s not my pity, Regulus!” Barty splutters, “It’s a bloody hug. Dora says there really good for ya! I love her hugs, you know. Get ‘em all the time. I- I know I’m no Pandora but… I mean, I can offer ya a real bony one.”
Regulus snickers and looks back up at the roof, “No thanks. That’s weird.”
“Is it?” Barty asks, “Cause… cause I’ve been listening to what she’s sayin and… I think it would be nice.”
“If I hugged you right now?” Regulus raised an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah… and other times.” Barty shrugged, “I dunno, might be dumb but… we’re supposed to be friends, ya know? Friends hug. Cas hates ‘em, unless they’re from Dora, but Evan and I hug sometimes.”
“You’re being weird.”
“I’m not trying to.” Barty frowned, “I just… I care about you, I suppose.”
Regulus swallowed. The only person who’s said that before has been Pandora, but she cares about everyone.
Barty… well, he doesn’t care about much at all. He cares about so little, that Regulus thought the only thing he probably cared about was pissing off his dad and Pandora herself. But apparently that’s not true.
Regulus doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn’t want to hurt himself by believing that he could be one of the very few things Barty has come to care about.
But they’re friends, and Barty watches him a lot, and collects Regulus’ things, and helps him when he cries, and offers to hug him.
Now Regulus is crying for a whole other reason.
“One hug?” Barty offers, sticking out his arms, “I’ll make it so quick and if you hate it we don’t ever have to do it again.”
Regulus contemplates it. He doesn’t remember the last time he was hugged.
He knows the last good one was Pandora, maybe last year, when they were leaving for summer. Quick and carefree. The last bad one, that was James. Not that it was bad at the time, but it hurts to think about now. It was false stability and ended in heartbreak. The last time he was hugged to be soothed though? His mind takes him back to Sirius, when they were still little.
“Fine.” Regulus mutters, sitting up under the covers, “But make it quick.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Barty nods and moves in, “Sorry if I’m uncomfortable.”
Regulus nods and sits very still as Barty wraps himself around Regulus’ shoulders. It’s awkward, to say the least. They’ve never done this before, and they’re going about it very strangely.
“Reg�� you gotta relax a bit.”
“How am I supposed to relax when I have a boney man attached to me?”
Barty scoffs and squeezes him a little tighter, “Just put your head on my shoulder, orrite. Relax, just for a second.”
Regulus huffs but does it anyway. He leans his head over to rest on Barty’ shoulder and drops his own, and… oh, it’s nice. It’s actually really, really nice. Barty’s soothing his back, and twisting his finger around the end of Regulus’ hair. And it’s nice.
He can’t even feel Barty’s ribs poking him or anything. It’s really, really cosy.
Regulus pushes him away, wiping his tears.
Barty gives him a guilty smile, “Terrible?”
“No.” Regulus sniffles, “It was actually grossly nice.”
Barty snickers and nods his head, “Well, if you ever need another hug, I’ll give ya as many as ya kneed.”
“Thanks.”
“No problems, Black.”
Regulus fiddles with the ends of his sleeve, refusing to look up at Barty, who he knows is sitting there and staring. He’s so quiet, when he stares. It’s as if any noise Barty makes would ruin his ability to set his full attention solely on Regulus.
It’s so strange. He’s so strange.
“You can’t tell anyone.” Regulus mumbles.
“What, that we hugged?” Barty laughs.
“No.” He scoffs, “What I said before, wanker. In the showers.”
“Oh.” Barty nods, “Well, I wasn’t gonna anyway. Course not, Reg. I know you. I know you hate people knowing your business.”
Regulus nods, “You really wouldn’t have told anyone? Not even Dora?”
“Cross my heart.” Barty smiles, doing just that, “I know she’s my best friend, but you are too. It means something, you know?”
“Oh.” Regulus mumbles.
Barty can only laugh at him, and Regulus turns a little pink.
“Can I… no, don’t worry about it.”
“No, go on.” Barty offers, “It’s just you and me.”
Regulus sighs, “I just… I’m tired of not being good enough, Barty.”
“I dunno what you mean, Black. You’re bloody brilliant.” Barty says, flopping down on his back like a starfish, “You shoulda been in Ravenclaw with your smarts, and not to mention your skills as a seeker. You’re top of the class, Reggie, course you’re good enough.”
Regulus thinks Barty will never understand how much that singular sentence fucking means to him, even if he tries to explain it. It stings, how good it feels to hear it. He never has. Not once.
“Not just in school, Barty. Everywhere else.” Regulus mumbles, wiping his teary eyes. They’re stinging again, and he really doesn’t want to cry, but he knows he will. It’s so stupid. “Everything else. I’m just…”
Barty rolls onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow to look at Regulus, “Like, with your family?”
Regulus nods, chewing on a hangnail.
“Yeah, I get that.” Barty sighs, “Is this about… those who must not be named?”
Regulus closes his eyes to compose himself, and nods again.
“Right.” Barty says, “Did Sirius do something? You know he barked at me the other day, like a fucking dog. So I’ll go hex him, happily, if you want?”
“No, Barty. Don’t.” Regulus shook his head, “He didn’t… I… they both just…”
“Go on.” Barty said softly, softer than Regulus has ever heard him speak before as he slowly sits up to get level with him.
“I’ll always be second best.” Regulus mutters, and then he starts crying again. Hot tears down his cheeks, redness in his eyes, stuttering over himself as he shakes.
“Oh, Reg…”
“He- he just picked James, over his own blood brother. Every time it’s James and… and I… and James just… I loved him. I loved him Barty, I was in love with him. I think part of me still is, but… he, he picked Sirius too. He picked Sirius, and Lily, because she’s just… she’s so pretty, and smart, and she’s got everything that I’ve got but, she’s just… she’s just so much better.” Regulus heaved, pressing a hand to his chest, “Everywhere, I see it everywhere. Not just with them, but mostly, I- I’ll never… I’ve never been someone’s first choice, Barty. Ever. And I don’t think I ever will be. No one picks me just because they can.”
His shoulders shake as he cries, his breath short and stuttered. When Barty reaches out in offer for another hug, Regulus falls forward into his arms, head pressed against his friends chest.
It feels so safe there, to be cradled in Barty’s arms, it’s warm. He cries a puddle through his sweater, but Barty doesn’t seem to mind.
“Shh, Reggie.” Barry sooths, lightly scratching his nails over Regulus’ back and sifting his fingers through his hair. “Just breathe, love. Just breathe.”
Regulus follows his command, taking deep breaths and timing them with the rise and fall of Barty’s chest beneath his head. He relaxes there, letting his eyes fall shut, and Barty continues to rub his back and play with his hair.
“I’m so tired.” Regulus mumbles through the last of his tears, “I’m going to fall asleep if you keep doing that.”
“That’s okay.” Barty laughs softly, “How about we lie down?”
“Isn’t that weird?” Regulus asks.
“Isn’t everything I do weird?”
Regulus shrugs and follows when Barty pulls him down to lay against the pillows. Barty slips under the covers with him, and pulls Regulus’ head against his chest again. Bartys heart is beating faster than it should be, but Regulus ignores it and wiggles around until he’s comfortable.
Once again, Barty strokes his back and scratches his scalp, and folds himself into Regulus a little.
He presses a little kiss to the top of Regulus’ head, and his heartbeat speeds up rapidly.
Regulus tenses, “Why is your heart beating like that, Barty? Are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?” He questions, already coming up with a million terrible reasons for it. He’s been so stupidly selfish about his own problems he didn’t even notice how uncomfortable he’s made his supposed best friend.
“No…” Barty half follows as Regulus sits up, leaning back on his elbows, “No, Reg. Obviously not.”
Regulus’ shoulders relax a little, “Well, then what is it?”
Barty looks away, “Come on, don’t tease, Reggie. I’m not in the mood.”
“I’m not teasing.” He shakes his head, “What’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem, obviously.” Barty snickers, “Come on, we can just… we can forget about it by tomorrow if it’s weird.
“What’s weird, Crouch?” Regulus pressed, “I don’t understand.”
Barty looked at him for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in the middle, and his mouth slowly fell open, “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” Regulus asked.
“About me…”
“About you… what?” Regulus shook his head.
“About…” Barty sighed, shaking his head in delirium. He laughed, at himself, mostly, which only confused Regulus more, “Everyone said it was obvious. I just thought we both… I thought we had an understanding. That we’d both ignore it and go on with our lives.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Barty?” Regulus asked, shoving at his chest.
“Oi!” Barty snickered, “That I… well… I thought you knew you’d be my first choice for everything.”
Regulus froze, scowling at him for a moment, “Don’t tease-“
“Not teasing, Reggie.” Barty looked away, taking a short breath. “Look, if it’s… if it’s too weird, I get it. But, I’m okay pretending, if you want.”
“P-pretending?” Regulus whispered.
“Yeah.” He shrugged, sitting up and loosely hugging his knees, “Pretending I’m not in love with you.”
Regulus didn’t have an answer for that. He was truely wound speechless. Barty… loves him?
“I meant it… I’d pick- I’d pick you over everything else in this world. I really mean it, Reggie. I promise.” Barty mumbled, “You’re my first pick, always have been.”
Regulus’ heart stops in his chest for a moment. His throat hurts and his eyes sting again. Regulus doesn’t think he’s cried as much as he has today through his entire life, including when he was a baby.
He can’t help it, crying again. Because Regulus believes him. Barty’s always been devastatingly honest, even at the worst of times. So why would he lie about this? And he looks so earnest, sounds it too. He sounds like he really, truely means it.
No ones ever picked Regulus first, besides Barty Crouch Jr, who has a collection of Regulus’ things, and who stares at him unashamedly, and consoles Regulus when he cries even if it makes him uncomfortable.
And Regulus has been too self centred to ever notice.
But Barty is in love with him, and by the sounds of it he has been for a while. Apparently everyone knows it.
He thinks about it for a moment, while he sobs and cries and heaves. Barty does all that he can to soothe him, reaching out to wipe away tears, and hold him, and rub his arms and back.
Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever felt as safe as he doesn’t when he’s around Barty. Which is an odd thing to realise, because Barty is kind of a loose cannon. He’s violent, and angry, and snarky and rude. But with Regulus he’s always… well, he’s funny, and he can still be a little rude sometimes, but he’s also kind and generous and a little odd.
Regulus now realises all that oddness he’s noticed is just things Barty does that signals he’s in love with him. But Regulus has never noticed, he’s never looked to see how Barty doesn’t do all these very things with other people.
He’s Barty’s first choice.
And now that he thinks of it, Barty might just be his.
He’s the only person Regulus trusts to see him like this. Not even Pandora could, as much as he loves her. Regulus just hates being vulnerable. But he supposed it’s a little different with Barty, because he’s always been a little vulnerable with Regulus.
It’s comforting, to say the least, to have confirmation that he’s wanted. That he’s cared for. That he’s somebodies first choice.
And Barty loves him, which is strange. He’s never looked at Barty in that way before. And sure, Barty makes plenty of jokes about finding Regulus fit and wanting to snog him and so on and so forth, but he’s never thought too deeply about it.
He does that with other people, doesn’t he?
Now that Regulus thinks about it, he definitely doesn’t do it as much as he does it to Regulus.
Barty pulls away, rubbing up and down Regulus’ biceps, as he gives a nervous smile. It’s crooked, like most of Barty’s smiles, but this time Regulus really notices it.
“I’m sorry if it’s weird, I dunno what to do, Reggie.” Barty tries, “How do I stop you crying?”
Regulus sniffled and blinked his tears away slowly, refusing to cry anymore. His cheeks are all wet and sticky, and his eyes fucking ache, as well as his throat, but he’s not thinking about that.
“Do you really mean that?” Regulus sniffles, and he blinks away a few more tears, “Me being your first choice?”
“Of course, why would I lie about that, Reg. It clearly means a lot to you- I just… I thought you knew.”
Regulus scrunches up his nose, “Well, why would I cry about how I’m no one’s first choice if I knew I was yours?”
Barty’s quiet for a moment. He retracts his hands and ducks his head to mumble, “I just thought… well I thought I didn’t really matter, at the end of it all.” He shrugged, “I’d do anything for you- I already have, you know, and… I just… I thought you knew. And I thought it didn’t matter to you because… well, I’m the same, I suppose. I don’t think anyone’s picked me first either.”
“You still… even thinking that I just- I just didn’t care about you, or your feelings or… or anything at all, you still…” Regulus scrunched up his nose, ducking his head to catch Barty’s eye, “You still would have picked me first?”
Barty nodded, “Done anything for you.”
“Oh.” Regulus whispered, shaking his head, “Barty…”
“Yeah?” Barty asked, swallowing a large lump in his throat.
Regulus kisses him. No thoughts, no warnings, no nothing at all. He just leans forward and kisses him right on the mouth.
Barty pulls away first, almost immediately, wide eyed and startled, “What the fuck did you do that for?”
“I don’t know.” Regulus muttered, touching his lips, “You just… I… you love me, and… fuck, Barty. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah.” Barty nodded, there’s water in his eyes now, and Regulus can tell he’s trying to hold it back, “And you just kissed me. Please don’t- don’t do that. I’m… I can’t handle that, Reg. I can handle us being friends, even though it’s driving me mad, but… I just- I can’t-“
“Well, don’t you want to be more?”
“Fucking hell, Regulus.” Barty leers back.
“What?” Regulus scoffs.
“You can’t just fucking… don’t say that.” He shakes his head, taking a moment to compose himself, “Don’t be stupid, orrite. I can’t fucking… I love you, Reggie. I can’t handle… possibilities because I’m just… I’m gonna drive myself crazy thinking about them. And that’s not good.”
“I’ve never had someone love me before, Barty.” Regulus whispers, “I’ve never had someone… I want- I want to chose you too. You’re my best friend, and I already do choose you. But I want to do it more. I want to… please?”
“I don’t understand, Reg.” Barty whispered back.
Regulus took his hand, smoothing his fingers over Barty’s rigid knuckles. They’re rough and scarred, just as they always are. Just as Regulus knows them to be.
“I don’t really either, Barty.” He admits, “I never knew you felt that way, and I’ve never thought about it- you- us. I’ve never thought about us like that before, but I… I can picture it.”
Barty closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Barty. I don’t want to lead you on. I want to try. Don’t you want to try?”
Barty keeps his eyes sealed shut and he shakes his head no, “What happens when you get bored of me? What- what happens when Potter comes crawling back to you? What happens when you realise I’m fucking… more insane than you thought? I’d- don’t tempt me, Regulus, because I meant what I said, I’d do anything for you.” Barty’s breath trembles, “I’d kill him, I’d kill them both. I’d kill all of them, just to make you happy. So you never feel like a second choice to them ever again- I- I mean it, Regulus.”
“I know.” Regulus breaths, and it scares him, what Barty’s saying, because he does know. It’s not just words. But those words aren’t the part that scare him, it’s the fact that he likes it that does. It makes him want. “I know, Barty. And I know that if I hurt you, truly, truly hurt you like this, you’d make my life a living hell. I know.”
“What about Potter?” Barty asks, trying to mask tears of his own, “Don’t you love him?”
“Maybe.” Regulus admits, regretfully so, “But I don’t want to. He’d never… he could never love me the way you could anyway. The way that I need.”
“And how do you need it?”
“To be your first choice.” Regulus whispered, “How do you need it, Barty?”
Barty took a deep breath, thinking about it for a moment. He looked up at Regulus with a pout and hopeful eyes, “I just want to be good enough for love before anything else.”
Regulus smiles, “You are.”
Barty shakes his head.
“You are.” Regulus confirms, “To me, you are.”
Barty sniffles, “Do you love me… like that?”
Regulus sighs, “N… no.” He scolds himself for the truth, because it seems to shatter Barty’s heart to pieces. “But I want to, Barty… I want to love you the way you do me. And I think I will. You just have to let me.”
“Really?” Barty sobs.
Regulus nods, “Will you let me?”
Barty nods and leans back in, and Regulus kisses him again. They both had wet cheeks, and headaches, and heartaches from crying, but they kiss anyway. And Regulus cries again, for hopefully the last time, because Barty kisses like he never wants to stop.
Regulus has never been kissed like that before.
Regulus has never been loved before.
He thinks with Barty, he might just be enough.
★ ★ ★
Bartylus shippers unite.
This one’s so angsty I’m sorry but I can’t help it and yerr Reggie kinda has misogynistic views which is gross but it’s the fucking 70’s and look at his parents. I USUALLY write them all to be better than that and not arseholes but I wanted to make this one hurt.
Also I don’t think I’ve written from Reggie’s pov before sooooo that was interesting.
Idk I liked this. Let me know your thoughts :)
Read here on ao3
If you want to read more of my stuff you can find it all here :))
Tagging everyone that expressed interest in the angsty bartylus one shot lmao: @lapassemirroir @mayflywrites @garlicbread4ever @moonyluv-s @managingmischeif @stxr-bxy @the-lionsheart @crimsonlovebartylus
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dukeofthomas · 2 months ago
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calling bruce jason's 'father figure' should be illegal. jason is his son. he was literally even legally adopted. "father figure" my ass that's his dad ???
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al-luviec · 30 days ago
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Thinking about how the entire reason Zane went along with Wu was to try to find out more about his past. Thinkinggg about how he reached his true potential after finding his father's workshop. A big chunk of his character arc in s2 focused on how badly having no family left affected him. Then he found out how father was alive and he was sooo happy... and then his father died. And then Zane died too.
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aurlieanbeloved · 6 months ago
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I want to be explicitly clear, I don't like jkr, I fucking hate her. And this is not a safe space for terfs, and If you don't understand what I say when I say that, you have bigger problems. The amount of laws right now in the UK that are part of quite literally making it illegal to be trans and basically fucked over trans Youth and trans adults , that JKR very publicly supports , and has caused so much harm to actual people both gay and trans with the shit she says (she has compared trans women to being men in dresses, and trans men to being poor brainwashed autistic women (and that's just fucking insulting cause that also implies that she thinks that all autistic people can't make their own medical decisions ethier) and while we're at it let's talk about how she publicly announced Dumbledore is gay, and then decided in the movies (i believe this is during fimling fantastic beast) that no actually he's straight, or the incident where she compared being a wear wolf to having aids while talking about Remus. Jkr is actually a fucking terf, and I love that whenever people bring it up she loses her shit. So no this bolg isn't for you I'f you even remotely like her. I make fics for the girls and the gays and that's it.
Anyway do your own research if you don't believe me, she did write a very funny self insert fic of herself where she acts like " woe is me and Draco malfoy called me a terf and thats a slur" on Twitter (might have to scroll a bit, this was like around the beginning of the pandemic i belive)
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Tomura: My father is a bitch.
Toga: Isn't he dead?
Tomura: Dying did not make him any less of a bitch.
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