#is just dishonest most of the time
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deservedgrace · 3 months ago
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The other thing about discussing harmful things about the christian church and getting "that's not what that verse really means/that's not how that doctrine should be applied/that's not actually supported biblically/etc" back is that... at a certain point it doesn't matter. Yes there are varying beliefs within christianity (understatement with 45,000 different denominations lmao), but you don't get to claim that christianity is separate from any harmful beliefs when a lot of harmful beliefs are the majority.
You can say "the bible wasn't ever talking about gay relationships in [xyz] verses" but that doesn't make the average church actually safe and affirming for queer people. You can say "actually hell doesn't have any biblical backing" but that doesn't mean very much when like 75-80% of christians believe in hell. You can say "men and women are equal in the eyes of the Lord" but it doesn't erase the rampant misogyny in christian culture.
If the members make up the church, if members are the church, then at a certain point the cultural beliefs or majority beliefs have precedence over what was intended. You can't say "oh just ignore [belief/doctrine/interpretation/etc]" when that would be dismissing the church's most predominant collective beliefs. You don't get to just disregard harm because that "wasn't the intention". You don't get to look at the result of said harm and decide it doesn't matter because it makes you look bad.
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caeslxys · 7 months ago
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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dragonfoods · 12 days ago
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I will have to read a romantasy book written by a straight man or a lesbian someday just to see if a certain tone is different because a lot of the romantasy books written by women that are attracted to men are just
sometimes
interesting in a bad way
“She was the strongest, most compassionate, most intelligent, kindest, most generous woman that ever existed. All the wise older characters like to pull her aside to tell her this. Unlike all the dumb evil cows that just wanted MMC for his hot body and deep pockets, FMC wanted MMC for his mind and his beautiful soul” just gives off a weird vibe
#is it internalized misogyny is what i’m wondering#if you throw in some compliments like the evil cows are pretty than it isn’t so misogynistic and bitter right?? lol#it’s fiction maybe i shouldn’t care but a lot of it feels so dishonest and strange#you can’t be pushing 40 and writing about how mmc never loved a woman because they were all bitches you need to touch grass#if you can’t make mmc fall in love with fmc without tearing down the other women in the story what are you doing#women can absolutely be flawed but most of the time these flaws in romantasy stories seem to be currated in bad faith#i picked up acotar today and I could not get past the descriptions of the fmc’s sisters like are you joking me
#i promise fmc can be believably loved by mmc even if the female side characters are not evil cows#sometimes it feels like the romance is so underdeveloped and ‘haha I won I’m the best woman’ narrative takes the wheel and for what#author could write about the fmc and mmc simply being together but fmc showing how she is the MOST badass woman is more important 😏😝😝😝#the not so covert ‘she is not like the other girls’ is so bad and boring and it needs to DIE#there is some intrasexual competition going on and am i supposed to act like that is not what is happening or what#even when that is clearly what is going on??#stooop stop fighting girls just stooooop#i have to tag fourth wing sorry it’s true it’s true#fourth wing
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lobotomy-lady · 2 months ago
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Why do/did you work with dogs if you hate them? Honest question
ummm...bc I Don't hate them & I love them v much actually...which is part of why I dislike interacting w unknown pits (& their frequently very delusional owners). for every human mauled to death there's about a thousand beloved pets who have been lost bc some fucking idiot set their pit loose or took it on a walk despite not having the strength to control it or brought it to the dog park. my cousin has a pit lab mix who is sooo sweet but I would not let her interact w my baby brother bc its simply not worth the risk. plenty of pits who had sweet dispositions & who would "never hurt a fly" have turned on their owners out of nowhere.
anyways if I hate dogs so much explain why I have like 3000 pictures of opal just sleeping on the couch saved on my phone
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butchladymaria · 3 months ago
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posting this here so hopefully more people see it - but does anyone have any tips for making sure that palestinian fundraisers are legit? i have a lot of heartbreaking messages in my inbox, and i feel horrible sitting on them - but i don't want to accidentally post something that's a scam taking away the legitimacy of all the real people in desperate need of help (or worse, a palestinian who needs help but their fundraiser is being run by someone known to be dishonest. i've seen some truly heartless people steal donations from palestinians after promising to organize their fundraisers and it breaks my heart).
i know about reverse image searching, and the blogs of folks doing grueling work vetting fundraisers, but a lot of the usual ways you could vet things like this just do not apply here.
like, seeing if it's an empty or brand new account, or if the post "reads well" (ie: is it churned out by AI) for example. those are usually decent indicators of a bot/scam on this site. but when this is a relatively recent and constantly evolving crisis that's given people who may not speak native (or any) english no choice but to make accounts just to ask for help? that obviously does not apply here.
i want to be clear: i'm not reporting anyone for not having perfect grammar or saying that because scammers exist no one should donate at all. it feels disgusting to doubt these messages, but the last thing i want to do is cause someone who is in dire need of help to not get a donation because i inadvertently redirected people to donate money to a grift/scam.
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nugatorysheep · 3 months ago
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Sometimes I think about how, back when the roster was much bigger, me and my old friend group all picked out WTL characters that we thought the others were the most like, and almost universally people thought Druid was the most like me. That probably should've been my first clue that none of them knew a single thing about me, but hindsight is 20/20
I also often think about how, after several days of going through things that had happened to me over the last four or so years, I was told 'You seem like a person who wants to be understood', and it hit me that until then, I had never met someone who ever really got me. Now that I have, I could never settle for less.
#for the record Sven is like two steps away from being my kinsona#like it's almost embarrassing lmao#i think between him and Leo (with his edits over the years) you can find 70-ish percent of what makes up me as a person#idk man I just. People think Im so aggressive and obtuse#and like. yeah when im backed into a corner im not the nicest#but i dont think anyone would be if they're in fight or flight mode and it feels dishonest to judge someone at their most vulnerable#but when im just like.... There and Alive and being my usual nerdy self#which is 99 percent of the time#i am just a Guy in a Room#and people assume the worst of me for it#like damn what about me is so evil and intimidating. please i want to be seen as soft and kind and genuine for once in my life#i wanna be able to express myself without it being seen as an attack or rude or aggressive#it wasnt until recently where i really started noticing this and by extension getting peeved about it#but i've been so mild-mannered and people-pleasing all my life because i was unknowingly compensating for how people view me#and even with all that bending over backwards it never worked anyway because I was still the weirdo at best and the aggressor at worst#And Im *tired* of that. I'm so tired of it.#I cannot in good faith keep trying to be this un-intimidating flower when people are only gonna see thorns regardless#nugget rambles#text.txt#vent tag#I'll go back to regularly scheduled shitposting soon#Also like clarity on Druid: I project some fears and traumas of mine onto him and he means a lot to me#but in terms of personality he is far nicer and resilient than I would ever be under such circumstances#Druid isn't me but he's someone I wish I had in my life when I needed it. He's someone I wish I could be
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sapphicdessi · 1 year ago
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At least I have a study to back up what I’m saying. If you look at the numbers even accounting for trans wouldn’t flip it to bisexuals dating mostly the opposite sex it still remains close to 50/50.
Now go ahead and show me a study that states bisexuals are mostly with the opposite sex that isn’t a decade old with a tiny sample size. Lbr we all know you won’t because you can’t. Science denying dumbass continues to be accurate.
you're mad about the stats from what 2016 or so that say bis are 80 percent with the opposite sex and this is from 2019 lmao. your european stat? your SOURCE is from homophobic queerio liberal tras who think trans women are women and that NB is a thing. how desperately stupid are you? radfem bis and tra bis are both homophobic clowns. you're all liars. looks like the science denying idiot is you. I can grab any snip of it and show you what utter garbage this "stat" is, did you even read it troon lover?
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valla-chan · 1 year ago
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#dude i feel so bad rn#i feel like im doomed forever to be an annoying dismissive troll even to ppl i care about#and on accident sometimes#but theres so much seemingly insane dogshit in the world#so many angry people on edge constantly#sometimes im like fuck the internet fr#i need to delete reddit off my homescreen tbh#i wanna help my friends but i dont know how#idk how im supposed to maintain my own life in a way i like#tired of psuedoscience repackaged as “witchcraft” for teens#tired of constant boring transphobic arguments everyone dogpiles behind#tired of leftist infighting bullcrap#tired of everything conservative#tired of complaining about life#tired of being scared over life#tired of having zero sense of past or future and just existing as this numbskull dishonest shell of a person in the present#tired of my friends getting walked on#tired of working towards goals i give up on when almost done#i feel like the more effort i put into my life somtimes the worse i feel because of how it just does nothing most times#or i dont like whatever whatever i worked so hard towards#does any of this actually get better with time like i think or am i just lying to myself again#idk if i can wash my dishes tonight tbh#i think today is one of those fuck it nights#god#i need to keep working on this god damn game and i just cant too#i want anti anxiety meds#i want adderal#i want anything that will let me function like i should#i dont even care about the depression at this point i can manage that#how do people do this
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absentmoon · 2 years ago
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yes man is a core part of the dynamic.because he and benny are already in gaylove yes man is in charge of getting him to Sit Down and do things like Be Vulnerable for the first time with someone new
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a-thread-of-green · 5 months ago
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I've spent the last two weeks speedrunning coming out as a trans woman to my coworkers, extended family, and the assorted friends I'd collected through Facebook and I've been shocked and overwhelmed by how enthusiastically supportive cis women have been in particular. After doomscrolling through TERF shit for the past year, I'd become convinced that cis women tended towards distrust of trans women, with a significant percentage actively vitriolic. But, time and time again, I've received effusive praise from the cis women I come out to. Not just progressive women either: Christian Facebook-moms from Texas have been enormously supportive. I've gotten some support from cis men too, but nothing nearly as passionate, and they've been the source of all the awkward avoidance or disgusted looks I've experienced. It makes complete sense: cis women generally like being women, and most of them like it a lot, so why wouldn't they celebrate somebody else becoming like them? This really drives home how dishonest TERFism is: they present themselves as the voice of women, but really they're just a regressive minority, distorting the issues to lead people away from their inclination towards love and acceptance.
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hippo-pot · 4 months ago
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frustrated b/c i'm having to learn basic grammar/syntax stuff outside of class when like. you would think. a class. would be the place to go. to learn grammar/syntax stuff
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skxrbrand · 1 year ago
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Also the Wiki is incorrect more times than you'd suspect. For example: The Beastfiend page is trying to pass a Bloodletter off as a Beastfiend, despite being informed this was incorrect.
The key difference between studying Warhammer lore on the Fandom Wiki and Lexicanum is that the Wiki will sprinkle in information in 5 paragraphs of Ian Watson level prose whereas Lexicanum will sprinkle in prose in 3 paragraphs of almost pure information.
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homunculus-argument · 7 months ago
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Hey btw please don't make jokes about being a "boring adult" or how adulthood is boring when you're around small kids. They'll believe you, and growing up with the idea that their final destination is as bleak as it is inevitable is not a healthy way to live. Even if they don't know it consciously, whenever they look at adults they are looking at their future. Like even if your life does suck, please don't frame it as just an inevitable part of being an adult.
If you know someone's kid whose interests and tastes are loud, shiny, sparkly and all over the place, and you're absolutely overwhelmed by being suddenly rapidly infodumped about a cartoon you had not heard of 30 seconds ago and about everything they've been getting into, and you're caught off-guard by them suddenly switching gears and askining you why you're still into the same things as you were a year ago, that aren't even that loud, sparkly and fun, please don't say something like
"Well when you're a boring adult you start to like boring things like that and then like those forever :)" Like don't fucking say that, they'll believe you. It doesn't make them feel fun and special to be told you think you're boring in comparison. They take their spark for granted and being told that they'll lose it one day is awful. And it's not even true!
It's far more truthful to tell them about how when you've been a grownup for long enough, you've had to the time to try all of the things and you know for sure which ones you like the most. And that's why it's so important that they also try everything, at least once, so that they'll know for sure whether they will or won't like it. Being a grownup isn't about giving up doing new fun things, it's about finding all the things you like so much that you never get bored of them.
Boldly claiming that you've done everything when you're not very worldly might seem dishonest, but a four-year-old can't tell the difference between a century and a decade. As far as they are concerned, their nearest neighbourhood is the whole universe, and you have been alive forever. Don't tell them the world is boring, and that being bored of it is inevitable.
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ozzgin · 5 months ago
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Its been 6 months😭😭 pleaasseeee make a part 2 of the android x human story im beggingggg😭
-H❀
Yandere! Android x Reader (II)
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Featuring your assigned android partner who is not as devoid of humanity as you originally thought.
Content: female reader, AI yandere, mildly NSFW, based on Caves of Steel
[Part 1] | [More original works]
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The case had been solved.
Not only that, but you'd managed to prove that human officers were just as efficient as their robot counterparts. The Commissioner was beyond ecstatic, pacing back and forth in his office and finding new ways to praise your detective skills.
"That'll show those Spacers. They think some glorified tin box can match our skill?"
You frowned at his words and glanced to your side, where the android was sitting. He observed the Commissioner with the same polite smile, no hint of disagreement on his features. Was he not insulted? You questioned him once the formal meeting had finished.
"I have no reason to be offended, (Y/N). It is a personal opinion, and thus I have no control over it."
"So you don't mind people disliking robots to such an extent?"
He pondered your statement.
"I would certainly be upset if it was you who harbored the disdain. The beliefs of other humans hold no meaning to me otherwise."
You couldn't tell if he said it out of politeness, or if he actually meant it. Most likely the former, in order to part on good terms. After all, your partnership has reached its completion. He'd return to the Spacer Colony with his report on human customs, and you'd go back to your regular job.
Except he never left. Days later, he was still sipping on his morning coffee, lounging at your table. You fiddled with your cup in contemplation. Was there anything else left to do?
"When are you leaving, actually?"
The pale man raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.
"Is my presence here of such significant disturbance?"
"What? No!" you swiftly exclaimed, stumbling on your words. His lips widened in yet another cheeky grin. He was teasing you again.
"My assignment on Earth is done, thus I should have returned to the Colony already. That's what you're wondering about, yes? I am awaiting a response from my superiors."
"Whether you can go back?"
"No, whether my transfer has been accepted. I have applied to be your permanent partner."
You could feel your cheeks burning with heat. Was it that obvious to the synthetic that you enjoyed his company? Then again, he wouldn't have gone through such motions just for your sake.
"Why did you..." you probed sheepishly. There was no logical reason for him to keep working in a poorer, less advanced environment.
"Because I want to continue spending time with you."
Nonsense. An artificial being wouldn't make its decision based on such mundane, emotional reasons.
"I don't believe you."
"I understand. It is a faulty answer to come out of a machine. Though unlike common AI assistants, we have been invested with the capacity to develop likes and dislikes. Interests. Wants. It helps with variety and individualization."
"And you want to stay here? If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you have a crush on me or something", you attempted to joke.
A few moments of uncomfortable silence. Had you gone too far with your humor? Was it too cliché of a sentence? You turned away, tucking some strands of hair behind your ear. You just had to be witty, huh?
"I'm afraid I do not know what to tell you, (Y/N)."
"You don't need to say anything, it was a poor choice of-"
"Many social aspects have been implemented into my behavioral network. Workplace rapport, friendships, intimate relationships. What seems to be lacking is the transition from one to another. I know how to act as a romantic partner, but how does one achieve such a title in the first place?"
You gazed at him, incredulous. What was he trying to say?
"I am trying to convey that I am indeed infatuated with you. Which, then, makes my initial explanation dishonest: while I do appreciate our fruitful work cooperation, it is not a main reason for my decision. I hope this clears up any misunderstandings."
You'd never been a romantic. You sometimes flipped through sample pages of contemporary romance books at stores and community centers, but they always felt forcefully cheesy. Predictable. Consequently, you never had any grand dreams of passionate confessions under the rain.
On the other hand, you also didn't expect to be asked out in such a mechanical, calculated manner. Or that a machine would be the suitor. Yet there was something charming about his approach. For the first time since meeting him at the border, you saw him struggle. There was something human-like in his uncertainty.
You stood up from the table, and walked towards the android. Then, you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, expressing the mutual feeling and understanding.
His eyes bore an eerie glint to them. It was most kind of you to offer a common ground, but he knew better. The affections you held for him were, with utmost certainty, a mere fraction of whatever overwhelmed him from the moment he encountered you. Limerence, obsession, compulsion, there were many definitions that aptly described his otherwise unexplainable desires towards you. Even more unexplainable was the fact they'd evolved from a blank slate, a programmed agent with no previous knowledge on feelings or humans.
You noticed his hesitation.
"Is there anything else troubling you presently?" you nudged.
Nothing of immediate urgency. Well, not for you, at least. The android remained thoughtful. What were the variables which needed to be met in order to initiate a sexual encounter? Would it have been inappropriate for him to suggest intercourse straight after this conversation? To him, it was a natural escalation he'd considered many times in the past. To you, it could've come as a sudden, crass, and hurried proposal.
He reached for your wrist and discreetly pressed a thumb against your skin. Judging from your resting heart rate, facial expression, and localized temperature, there was a fair chance you wouldn't reject his advances. Once the statistical risk had been assessed, he pulled you in for a kiss.
"Would it be possible to continue this in your bedroom?" he inquired, standing up.
"Alright, just don't...ask for approval for every single step" you retorted. You'd rather not become a narrator of your own pounding.
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You open your eyes with a squint, greeted by unexpected natural light flooding your bedroom. Someone must’ve lifted the hologram blinds.
“My apologies, I hadn’t considered the discomfort it would cause you. My Spacer colony uses artificial lightning, though I am becoming rather fond of the natural sun rays here.”
Your android partner is meticulously preparing his outfit for the day. Judging by the stark nakedness and the glistening skin, you suppose he’s had a shower while you were still sleeping. You involuntarily furrow your brows and blush at the sight. He notices your embarrassment. 
“A most surprising reaction. You have seen the very same genital organ
”, he says as he quickly checks his wristwatch, “...precisely eight hours and forty-five minutes ago.”
“It’s just
most people get dressed once they start doing other things. I also wear a towel for coverage when I come out of the shower.”
He processes your words.
“Hmmm. Illogical, but it explains your reaction.”
You stand up and stretch with a prolonged yawn. Suddenly, a revelation hits you: your mind flashes with images of the android fondling your body, your ears ring with the shameless moans you’ve let out throughout the night. Your face turns pale.
“Listen, when is your next functional inspection?” you ask, without waiting for the synthetic to answer. “Will they, uh
will they have access to all of your memories?”
You know that the android permanently records all data and saves it into a memory unit. It’s a pointless fear, of course. The Spacers couldn’t care less about irrelevant details. If the intended tasks are fulfilled, what happens on the side is out of their concern. Yet you don’t exactly appreciate the possibility of your personal deeds airing like this, before the eyes of multiple engineers. 
“You may rest assured, whatever involves your privacy will not be included in the examination.”
“Do you get to decide what is checked and what isn’t?”
“No, most data is sampled randomly.”
You stare at him, confused.
“Then how-”
“It is not common practice, nor encouraged by our code of ethics. I can, however, choose which information is available to begin with.”
“What? I thought you’re fully controlled by whoever created you. If they so desired, couldn’t they open you up and take whatever they require?”
The robot smiles at your assumption and takes a few steps towards you.
“Once an android model is finished, one can no longer modify the processor. Not without compromising everything else with it. It is not a device to be deconstructed, (Y/N).” He taps his temple, then continues: “I am a biocomputer. While most of my parts are mechanical, my processor is a cortical organoid developed in a laboratory. A human brain, if you will.”
Somehow, the discovery fills you with dread. A living organ, encapsulated within a machine. What does that say about consciousness? About self-awareness? The Spacers didn't just tinker with metal scraps and smart computers. They artificially birthed life.
You were always under the impression that your robot companion is closer to the computer you have on your desk. Billions of lines of code within a black box, which then lead to spontaneous, novel interactions with the outside world. To think that at the very core of his functions lies a clump of living cells...
Perhaps you weren't so different, after all. The line between machines and humans is suddenly blurred.
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autistickilljoys · 2 years ago
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the temptation to spend god knows how long making all of my layouts on all of my socials ryuseitai themed right here right now even tho i have an art history assignment due in under two hours
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yandere-daydreams · 1 year ago
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tw - kidnapping, manipulation, mentions of physical abuse, and prolonged imprisonment.
You learn quickly that Nanami is significantly more bearable with he's playing house.
It should've been more obvious, in retrospect. If you hadn't been so terrified, so desperate not to fall into your captor's domestic delusions, you might've been more able to catch on more quickly, to realize how much softer he was when you treated him like a loving husband, rather than an obsessive stalker who had the nerve to roll his eyes when you asked if he had anything for you to wear that didn't involve bows and frills. You were slow on the uptake, but then again, he wasn't the kind of man who wore his heart on his sleeve.
His reactions weren't exactly more pronounced when your aggression started to fade, when you realized that he could barely take care of himself, let alone another person. You were skittish, eager to get in and out of the kitchen before he came home, and he was stoic, offering little more than a nod of his head and a muttered 'thank you' when he came home to find a bare-bones meal on the table or his constantly neglected apartment just a little cleaner. It took weeks for him to come to you directly; his suit jacket in one hand and spare button in the other. It should've only taken a minute to mend, but your hands shook so badly that it'd ended up taking ten. He watched over your shoulder all the while - smiling so softly, you'd been able to convince yourself that it was just your imagination.
You pretended that you didn't mind being with him, that the idea of being his stay-at-home hostage didn't make your skin crawl, and in exchange, he let you watch an hour of T.V. once a week, told you how your family and friends were dealing with your sudden disappearance. It wasn't a fair trade, but it was a trade - his domestic bliss for a handful of basic privileges, his happiness for the illusion of your freedom. When you can build up the courage, when you've recovered (or, recovered as much as you can, anyway) from the last time he bent you over his knee, you press for more. And sometimes, it works.
"I missed you," he mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His strong arms are wrapped around your waist, his posture hunched to accommodate the disparity between your heights, and you can feel warm breath on your skin, his deep voice reverberating against your throat.
"Welcome home," you say, because he doesn't like it when you lie and 'I missed you too' might've been the most dishonest thing you could've said. "You should sit down. I just started on dinner, and--"
You pause, cursing under your breath. Nanami is tired enough or kind enough to take the bait. "Make me a list." He pulls you that much closer before straightening his back and kissing your cheek. "I'll run to the store. It's the least I could do, for the only person who manages to keep my head on my shoulders."
You let a second of silence lapse between you, then another. "You know," you manage, eventually, just as Nanami starts to detangle himself from you. "Most couples spend as much time together as they can."
You can practically hear his smile. "You want to go shopping with me?"
"...am I allowed to?"
"Of course." He says it like he hadn't kidnapped you. Like he hadn't kept you locked in his sterile apartment for the better part of a year. Like he hadn't taken you by the neck and promised he'd be the only man to ever touch you again every time you questioned his intentions.
There's another kiss, this one to the corner of your jaw. Just when you think your heart might beat out of your chest, he adds, "As soon as hell freezes over and curses go extinct, I'll take you wherever you want."
You might've cried, if you didn't know how much he loved wiping away your tears.
Sometimes, it works.
Most of the time, though, he chooses to remind you whose game you're playing.
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