#is it the less stress ? is it from eating more ? is it from taking vitamins? who fucking knows BUT YAYYYYY MY HAIRRRRR <3333< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[xochimillilili]

Took a shower n hair did not fall out LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO !!!

[aliensupastar]

shouldn’t feel like a crime

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Carmy Berzatto/GN!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: You finally try Carmy’s cooking. Follow-up to “not wrong, but not right”

Part I Part III

Warnings: minor angst, comfort, fluff, depiction of an eating disorder, food and eating, healing?

A/N: first off, thank you all so much for the love on the first part! i wrote it as a comfort during a difficult time and it was so nice to see people enjoy it. i didn’t intend on writing more for it, but a few people asked for it and i finally got an idea for a follow-up! as a disclaimer, i wrote most of this before season 2 came out and edited it afterwards, but there are no spoilers. gif by emziess <3

Carmy is a good boss. You know this, you’ve known it for months. His sometimes-abrasive idiolect aside, he runs the restaurant like he cares about every brick that built it, every burner the crew uses to make each dish, every ticket that comes through that god-forsaken machine on the expo station. It makes any screaming match easily forgivable, and any nightmare lunch rush endurable. 

What you didn’t know was that Carmy could also be a good friend. Since your stint in the emergency room he’s made good on his agreement with you, without ever being overwhelming. He’s instead mercifully subtle. There’s a few bottles of lemonade kept in the office’s mini-fridge now, for when you get dizzy. He’s lent you that coat of his a few times, when the night air ends up chillier than you predicted that morning, and you’ve left your own jacket at home. And he never fails to give you a look, during the busiest hours at the restaurant, communicating quickly, and quietly: Are you good? And you know if the answer is no, he’ll let you take a breather without a single complaint, but you always respond with a quick nod and push through the rest of the shift.

In turn, you do your best not to worry him. You take vitamins and get better sleep and try to stop pushing yourself to the brink of passing out. You even eat one of your safe foods in front of him, at family while everyone else enjoyed the samosas Ebrahaim had cooked up that day, and for once it felt good to eat; the constant playful bickering and banter a welcome distraction from the usual stress that follows your meals. 

It’s nice. Maybe you don’t necessarily feel like you’re getting better, just more… stable. Less like you’re in a free-fall and more like you’ve got both feet on solid ground. 

When you go to leave after closing up one night and find that it’s raining, impeding you from making your usual trek to the train station, you turn back and head to the office. And a few months ago, you might’ve been too nervous around Carmy to even ask to stay in the restaurant an extra hour, preferring to brave the cold rain and let your clothes get soaked and heavy rather than hang around. You’re relieved, now, to find Carmy right where you left him when you said goodnight just a minute ago, ready to save you from a miserable trip home. 

“What’s up?” He asks when he spots you. 

“It’s raining.” You tell him, nodding your head in the direction of the back door. “Didn’t bring an umbrella. Do you mind if I stick around for a bit, just ‘till it stops?” 

“Yeah, it’s no problem, I’ll be here finishing up for a while, anyway,” He says, then continues after a brief pause. “Y’know you really gotta stop relying on that iPhone weather app.”

You scoff, shaking your head at his teasing. 

“You know I’m too lazy to start using another one.”

“I’m just sayin’.” He pushes out of his chair and walks past you, into the kitchen, grabbing a sponge and the container of soap water he uses to clean the countertops. 

“You want help?” You offer, already taking off your coat and tossing it onto the office chair. 

“Nah, you already clocked out. Don’t worry about it.” He replies, not even looking up as he begins to scrub, but you pick up a sponge anyway and get to work on the counter behind him. 

You fall into a comfortable silence for a while after that, only broken by the sound of rough sponges scraping away at the grime and the faint patter of rain on the roof of the building, and part of you wishes you had more opportunities for this. More time spent with him, outside of the hustle and bustle of the restaurant, even if it’s spent cleaning. His presence has become something you’d rather not avoid, even if it makes your heart race; the unique scent of him on the coat you’ve borrowed is becoming familiar, comforting. 

“Glad it wasn’t busy today.” Your train of thought is interrupted by his sudden comment, but you quickly nod. 

“Practically a miracle, for a Friday.” You agree, hearing him chuckle behind you. 

“Didn’t need that shit today, anyways, not while I’m on,” He says. He was working the stovetop today, alongside Sydney, making an efficient team as they churned out dishes quicker than the customers could file in. It made your day a little easier, the delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen while you savored the downtime granted by the slow day. 

“I’ve never tried your cooking,” You say offhandedly, but your words make him pause and look back at you, eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Really?” He asks, and you nod. “You’ve worked here for months, though.” 

“I know.” You shrug. 

“How come?” 

That makes you stop scrubbing, turning slightly to look at him. 

“Think you know the answer to that one, chef.” You tease, before continuing to work. He huffs out a laugh, but keeps staring at your back while you scrub. 

“I could make you something.” He finally says, and it makes you truly stop, turning to face him fully. 

“Y’all just cleaned this whole kitchen.” Now it’s his turn to shrug. 

“I don’t mind.” You give him an incredulous look.

“I- If you think I’m gonna help you clean the stove and the plates again, you’re wrong.” Carmy just shakes his head, tossing his sponge back into the container of water and grabbing a few clean pans. 

“C’mon, I can’t have you walking around saying you’ve never tried the food at the restaurant you work at,” He says. “You like spaghetti?”

He’s casual in the way he asks, but you’re still standing by the counter, eyebrows raised in shock. Your mind is starting to race, the way it does every time you’re faced with food, but Carmy’s already pouring olive oil into a saucepan and brandishing his chef knife to chop an onion. 

You approach the stove he’s standing at carefully, like it might just burst into flames, and you can already smell the familiar scent of garlic and olive oil and god, he’s only been at it for a minute and it already smells like heaven in this kitchen. 

“Smell good?” 

“Yeah,” You practically breathe out. “Shit, smells amazing.” 

He smiles at that, a rare thing to see on his face. He’s thoughtful for a moment, before saying:

“This is, uh, Mikey’s recipe, actually.” 

Your eyes widen, a bit taken aback by his mention of his late brother. At least, his mention of Mikey to you. 

You’d learned about what happened to Michael just a few weeks after being hired, after having witnessed the heavy silence that overtook the room when he’d been mentioned, and asking Marcus after work what all that had been about. Since you received your explanation, you’ve tried to mind your own business when the melancholy that came with Michael’s memory returned, giving those who seemed to know him best room to process before getting back to work. 

Carmy’s never talked about Mikey to you directly; no one has. You’re not sure what to say. 

“Mikey, that’s… your brother, right?” You ask hesitantly, even if you already know the answer before Carmy nods. 

“Yeah. He used to run this place, before it was The Bear.” He tells you. 

“Before?” Your confusion and surprise seeps into your tone. “What was it before?”

“Still a restaurant, but, quick service. Italian sandwiches. We weren’t called The Bear, we were-“ He chuckles, caught up in reminiscing. “We were called The Original Beef of Chicagoland.” 

“No shit! This used to be The Beef?” He nods his confirmation and you’re instantly brought back, the memory faded like an old photo that’s been shoved into storage and forgotten. The only thing that wasn’t hard to recall was the sandwich you’d ordered, practically dripping with flavor, the exact kind of comfort food you’d needed that day.

“Been here before?” He asks.

“Yeah, I just- I didn’t recognise it.” You’d sat at a table across from the friend that dragged you to the slightly shabby establishment, silently relishing in the deliciousness of your food before the panic could set in, so enraptured by it you didn’t even care about the booming voice coming from behind a door that presumably led to the kitchen. Not even when the person it belonged to came out to the front and-

“Mikey, was he like, tall? Black hair?” You suddenly ask, gesturing how tall you’d remembered the man being, and now Carmy’s the one that’s confused. 

“Uh, yeah. You- you knew Mikey?” He sounds a little breathless when he asks, but you shake your head. 

“No, but when I came here before, he was still running the place, I guess. And just… loud as shit. Hard to ignore,” You look up and meet Carmy’s eyes. “Hard to forget.” 

You both share a laugh at that, at the memory of his brother that he loved, and that you barely even knew. 

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like him.” The sweet smile stays on his face as he chops and sautées, refusing to let you do more than start boiling the spaghetti for him. All you can do is watch the pasta and watch him as he navigates his brother’s recipe like it’s pure muscle memory. 

As much as you like to steal glances at him during opening prep, you don’t get to see as much of him during service hours. You’re just as busy working front-of-house, keeping people happy and keeping Richie off your ass, as he is while he’s trying to keep up on dishes. You don’t get a ton of chances to see him like this, in his element. He plates the finished spaghetti perfectly, in two bowls, so you know he won’t let you eat alone. 

Still, the anxiety in your stomach rises when you accept the fork Carmy hands you, and you can’t help but pause. He does, too, and you know he easily recognises the cause of your trepidation. 

“What’s up?” He asks, his voice gentle. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of the conflict in your mind, but you can’t stop yourself from saying it. 

“Do you… just, maybe have an idea of-“

“I have no clue how many calories are in this.” He answers your question before you can even ask it, and you can’t help but let out a breath of amusement — at yourself, at him for somehow knowing. 

It’s his gentle smile, one that lacks judgment or pity, that pushes you to finally swirl the spaghetti around your fork and take a bite and-

Oh my god. 

You can’t help the moan that escapes you during that first bite, ignoring Carmy’s chuckle at your slight dramatics. You can see why he’s hot shit in the restaurant world; the dish barely looked fancy or complicated when he’d made it, certainly not as complicated as anything on the menu, but somehow it tastes better than any pasta you’ve ever had. You would say you’re in disbelief, but you don’t pause long enough to think about anything but this, how amazing every flavor bursting on your tongue is.

Carmy finishes his pasta before you do, but he stands next to you till your bowl is empty, before taking it over to the dish pit and beginning to scrub down all the dishware he’d used. And you stand there for a second, staring at his back, unable to process all the emotion filling you as he washes your bowl. The bowl he let you get dirty, because he wanted you to be able to try his food. 

The utter warmth flooding your senses is almost overwhelming.

Then, despite your earlier protests, you pick up the sponge he abandoned earlier and get to scrubbing the stovetop down again. You ignore the few warm tears that escape your waterline in the process. 

You mindlessly follow Carmy around as he walks through each room, shutting off lights and locking the front entrance and office doors. When you inevitably make your way to the back exit, you push open the door only to find that it’s still raining, worse than it was hours ago. You can only sigh and lean your head against the doorway in defeat. 

“Need a ride?” Carmy offers easily. 

You think back to the frame that sits on the countertop out front, holding a slightly crumpled index card: “I love you, dude. Let it rip.” Words you’ve seen nearly every day since your first on the job; you just now realize they’re probably Michael’s.

It feels like too much. The letting you stick around, the pasta, the… everything. 

You nod anyways, accepting Carmy’s offer, letting him lead you to his car, and he lets you lead the way home.

[bansheeoftheforest]

Still refusing to reread PJO/TKC but it is still infesting my brain so woe crossover au be upon yall

Au where Anubis casually gets assigned to be Bianca's and Nico's older brother, anyone?

(messy points below, mostly from Anubis' pov coz he is my pookie, and keep an eye out in the reblogs section for add-ons/updates!)

Like, once the other Egyptian gods start dropping like flies because the magicians are imprisoning them, assuming they may also go after Anubis, he turns to Hades as a very very very last resort because, well, he would like to not be imprisoned for all eternity, thank you very much. Hades agrees on the condition that Anubis looks after his demigods, since he otherwise really isn't to any use of him, which Anubis accepts. So, Anubis is basically the Hades/Pluto demigods' divine babysitter in exchange for some protection from the magicians who may or may not also want to imprison him.

I shall say that this either works bc A) Hades kids radiate enough death so that he can be around them without a host or B) it is all just bureaucracy so when the rest of the Egyptian gods are gone those rules simply do not really apply.

Anyways, once the Big Three ProphecyTM rolls around and Maria Di Angelo kicks the bucket, Anubis is left in charge of making sure the Di Angelo siblings survive, taking them to and staying with them at the Lotus Casino and the different schools that Hades moves them around to, either as their "older brother"/guardian or as their pet dog that the authorities simply don't bat an eye at.

The siblings, with their memories absolutely fucked up, simply accepts that they either have a brother, a dog, an older brother who is occasionally a dog, or a dog that only conveniently shows up when their brother isn't there and vice versa.

And since I haven't read any RR books since I was 12 and I never read the HOO series, I can't really talk much about the logistics from here on out but. I have some thoughts in general.

Anubis makes sure that he takes the majority of the responsibilities, so that Bianca can be a little more happy and a little less stressed than she would have been if she was alone looking after her little brother.

He also happily distracts Nico when Bianca needs a break, he can genuinely listen to Nico ramble about whatever for hours, remembers it quite well and can return the conversation, which Bianca rarely has energy for.

(He was the exact same when he was young and wants to make sure Nico has someone that listens to him)

Genuinely cannot rest until he makes sure the siblings are fine and safe, which becomes a bit of a problem when Bianca goes on her first and last quest, and even more of a problem when he is more stuck in the Brooklyn House and he has to keep contacting Nico before he allows himself or Walt to rest as a result of that.

He is so so so so SO protective of the siblings. He is absolutely ready to die or kill for them. He is not a fighter, more often than not a pacifist, but when it comes to them he is the first to throw hands.

Also him absolutely being ready to kill the demigods that find the siblings at the military school coz he is so used to the "any demigod or magician is here to kill one of us and I have to protect them at all costs" mode that he has been kinda stuck in for the last 70 or so years, minimum.

He is merely an older sibling running on the equivalent of 3 hours of sleep and 2 strong coffees, which really doesn't help the situation once shit starts going down in Brooklyn/the Egyptian pantheon.

Speaking of the Brooklyn House. After being a Divine BabysitterTM for like 2000 years he genuinely cannot get rid of those base instincts, which ends up with him fussing over the Kanes/Walt/Zia and the rest of the initiates because those are CHILDREN and they need to REST and be SAFE and EAT PROPERLY and TAKE YOUR DAMN VITAMINES, WALT.

Because of those 2000 years of babysitting, Anubis is genuinely amazing with kids. You'd think they'd be scared by him, but no. He is the first one they run to when they scraped their knee and need a band aid and a hug.

He also 100% stares right into Percy's and Will's souls the moment he finds out Nico has/had crushes on them. Despite being raised in an entirely different time he definitely is a "no dating until you are at least 25 otherwise I might have a heart attack" sibling and he is not letting some random demigod break his lil brother's heart. He accepts Will well enough though coz he makes Nico laugh which in the end is the most important thing.

Will might actually be more intimidated by Anubis than Hades but that doesn't stop him. Nico is his babygirl and he knows Anubis is (probably) more bark than bite (most of the time).

No matter if Hades allows him to like. stop being a babysitter once the gods are restored and Ma'at is balanced and all, Anubis still sticks around and checks in on Nico (and eventually Hazel). He gets antsy if he hasn't heard from them at least once a day.

He probably has a good base relationship with Jason and Reyna (bc both are protective older siblings when it comes to Nico) but he keeps Percy at a distance ever since Bianca's death (not that he blames him). But he isn't particularly close to any of them, as his priorities lay with Nico, Hazel, and the Brooklyn House.

Assuming Anubis doesn't like. Introduce himself to the greeks as "Anubis" and instead says he is someone else, I have absolutely no idea when or if he would ever tell any of the greek demigods what he truly is. But I suppose Nico would eventually find out that his older brother actually isn't related to him at all, or even from the greek pantheon, and instead only happened to become his older brother as a favour to Hades. Depending on how he finds out he definitely could get upset but I like to believe he sorta figures eventually, and is just happy Anubis genuinely cares for him.

I also like to think that the greek gods they meet when the demigods take the siblings from the school to camp half-blood, just gives Anubis A LookTM. Either they are fully aware he is protecting the Hades kids or they think an Egyptian god is just casually hanging out with some random demigods. Which must certainly be a sight to behold.

Can yall for a moment imagine being the Kane siblings, trying to get the feather of truth from the god of death to avoid the impending apocalypse, who then says "sorry I am mostly on babysitting duty so I can't really help yall more than this, good luck tho."

Walt who meets Nico and is so conflicted because in one way he is slightly weirded out by this tiny depressed gremlin, but in another way the Anubis PartTM of him is just going "protect protect protect protect", which is a weird first impression.

One of the Kane siblings would be interested in Mythomagic, I just know it. Either Sadie coz it is funky or Carter bc it is nerdy. Either way, Nico has at least one Kane to bond with bc of it.

Nico just has the ultimate diplomatic immunity because he can go between Camp Half-blood, Camp Jupiter, and the Brooklyn House basically as he pleases.

On a completely different topic, the majority of Nico's wardrobe is just shit he has stolen from Anubis, he just lets it happen, in part because it is not like he as a god has a limited wardrobe, and in part bc Nico is absolutely adorable when he drowns in Anubis' jackets bc they are too big for him.

Also, Anubis helping Nico train his death magic, and teaching him the easiest ways to build endurance while using it.

Frankly the thought of the rest of the gods being banished, imprisoned, in exile or attempting to free themselves while Anubis is playing babysitter is very funny to me in general. Imagine being Isis or Osiris and attempting to ask your nephew/son what he did during the 2000 years yall were imprisoned and he goes "I took a side job as a babysitter to pay the bills".

Honestly I might reblog this with more thoughts eventually. They are all just so pookie.

[awh-bowie]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪21 things i’ve learned since becoming an adult

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ three years is not a terribly long time, but, i feel like regular metrics of time simply cannot be applied to girlhood and the transition to womanhood. my childhood felt like a single moment and being a teenager felt more like a century. but i digress, what have i learned in the three years since i became a legal adult?

୨୧ fostering meaningful friendships is far more important than any romantic relationship ୨୧

♡ the thing about romantic and physical relationships, especially when you’re young, is that they are not a reliable constant. all i can say about this is that close, trusted friends will benefit you better than any “situationship”.

୨୧ think of yourself like a plant, just a little bit more complex ୨୧

♡ what i mean by this is simple: if you feel awful for seemingly no reason, get some water, eat some fruit and go outside. more often than not, the mysterious specter making you sad is just yourself forgetting fundamental self-care!

୨୧ the best product for glowing skin is free! ୨୧

♡ drinking enough water is one of the easiest and most effective ways to maintain healthy skin. hydration helps flush out toxins, keeps your skin cells plump, and improves elasticity. scientifically speaking, staying hydrated supports your body’s natural detoxification processes!

୨୧ cry, cry, cry! ୨୧

♡ crying is a wonderful and natural way to release negative emotions, not something that is weak or embarrassing. we go into this life screaming and wailing, why stop now?

୨୧ invest in blue light glasses ୨୧

♡ blue light is the enemy of your eyes, especially looking at it in the dark. getting yellow-tinted glasses is a game changer, especially if you prefer low light! i never turn on my big light.

୨୧ you have boundaries, period. ୨୧

♡ there’s no such thing as not having boundaries. you can go through life without experiencing things you’d rather not experience again, these experiences create boundaries. if you genuinely can’t think of any boundaries, i suggest doing some journaling! here are some prompts i made for myself that really helped me.

୨୧ balance is good, but extremes aren’t evil ୨୧

♡ it’s okay to indulge, to be hedonistic! as long as you’re honoring yourself and the people in your life, go crazy every once and a while. that’s what life is about, diving into the things you love.

୨୧ use lighter concealer under your eyes ୨୧

♡ a lighter shade of concealer under your eyes helps brighten your face and hide dark circles!

୨୧ diet affects your skin and hair ୨୧

♡ proper nutrition plays a critical role in skin and hair health. consuming foods rich in vitamins and antioxidants, like fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins, can help prevent acne, improve hair growth, and promote a radiant complexion. see my post here to learn more ;3

୨୧ no one is looking at you, seriously, it’s biological ୨୧

♡ let me get a little sciency here. humans tend to overestimate how much people actually notice us, and this is something called the spotlight effect. it happens because our brains are wired to be super focused on ourselves, making us think everyone else is just as tuned in to us as we are. spoiler alert: they’re not. studies have shown that people pay way less attention to you than you think. realizing this is so freeing because once you know that your little slip-ups or bad hair days go unnoticed, you can start living with a lot less self-consciousness. embrace the freedom—no one is watching as closely as you imagine.

୨୧ independence isn’t loneliness ୨୧

♡ being independent doesn't mean you can’t ask for help or rely on others. sometimes the strongest thing you can do is reach out for support when you need it. true independence comes from knowing when to lean on others and when to stand on your own!

୨୧ dedicate time in your day to unplug ୨୧

♡ taking regular breaks from technology allows your brain to rest and recharge. studies indicate that unplugging can improve focus, reduce stress, and enhance well-being. scheduling time each day for a digital detox is beneficial for your mental health and productivity.

୨୧ you don’t have to justify the things you love ୨୧

♡ “i know it’s dumb but i really love [media] because it has my favorite actor in it!” STOP!! if you find yourself preemptively insulting your interest or explaining why you like it, stop and think. ask yourself what about the situation made you feel like you needed to do that.

୨୧ it’s okay to outgrow things ୨୧

♡ i wish i could stay a kid forever, but being an adult is kinda sick. drifting away from people, hobbies, media, etc… is a natural, unavoidable part of growing.

୨୧ it’s okay to not outgrow things ୨୧

♡ that being said, there’s nothing wrong with hanging onto the things that make you happy! if something you have from when you were a kid still brings joy to your life, it would be silly to give outgrowing it another thought. the fact that it still brings you joy means it cannot be outgrown.

୨୧ vitamin C for bright and even skin ୨୧

♡ vitamin C is a powerhouse for your skin!! it helps brighten your complexion, fade dark spots, and even out your skin tone by reducing melanin production. dermatologists recommend incorporating a vitamin C serum into your skincare routine to fight off free radicals and promote collagen production.

୨୧ being “busy” doesn’t equal being productive ୨୧

♡ it’s easy to confuse busyness with productivity. but being constantly busy doesn't mean you're getting more done. true productivity is about working smarter, not harder, and taking time to rest when needed.

୨୧ taking breaks IS productive ୨୧

♡ like i said, taking time to rest is key. studies show that regular breaks throughout the day, especially short ones, can improve concentration, reduce mental fatigue, and enhance performance!

୨୧ cold water rinse for shiny hair ୨୧

♡ a cold water rinse at the end of your shower can help seal your hair cuticles, resulting in shinier, smoother hair. cold water also helps reduce frizz and preserve hair’s natural oils.

୨୧ celebrate every victory ୨୧

♡ no win is too small! celebrating your successes, big or small, reinforces positive habits and boosts motivation. you deserve it, every day you exist is a victory in the eyes of others. according to psychologists, taking the time to acknowledge achievements can increase your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

୨୧ they say “trust your gut” for a reason! ୨୧

♡ your gut feeling, also known as intuition, is your brain’s way of quickly processing information based on past experiences and instincts. neuroscientists have found that gut instincts often come from subconscious pattern recognition, and trusting them can lead to better decision-making in situations where logic might not offer clear answers.

-Beau

[nocturni3]

Miguel O’Hara x male reader: Daddy appreciation

Top reader

(TW: incorrect Spanish I’m not a Spanish speaker sorry, praise kink, IVF reference, infertility issues, depression, infertility treatment, IVF struggles, fatherhood, anal sex, handjob, body worship, doggy style, becoming parents, celebrating, slight daddy kink, slight public teasing, slight car sex, edging, stomach bulge, breeding kink, submissive headspace)

Months passed since the two lovers became engaged and things couldn’t be better for them both. It was as though things were beginning to look up for both Miguel and M/n as they moved outside the city; away from the loud noises, most of the crime, the stresses of Miguel being spiderman.

After Tyler Stone vanished after his failed attempt at getting his CEO position back from Miguel, Alchemax was slowly turning into a big corporation that began to take the city's poor and lower classes protests seriously. A corporation that both M/n and Miguel could be proud to work for.

With the help of Miguel’s mother as his secretary much to both men’s surprise she was good at both being a threatening force and yet a silvered tongued negotiator. What’s more M/n’s department got more funding to extend a larger hand in downtown clinics and ERs providing them with the newest and safest tech during surgeries, and treating illnesses and diseases that had been neglected by Tyler Stone.

It allowed M/n to move all his major work as head of the medical engineering department to their home; it felt unreal as though this shouldn’t have been possible for Miguel to live happily in a loving relationship with a house, and a ring on both fingers. Spiderman was needed less and less as most of the villains that littered the city were falling back into the shadows with Alchemaxs change of CEO, the change needed for a better future for everyone.

Looking around his new and much larger office that Miguel shared with M/n; he sighs, taking off his tinted glasses as he shuts the hologram screen off; after signing off another approval for the start of a more powerful environmental power grid to be placed downtown. To help clean the pollution and gasses that permeated the air quality.

Rubbing his sore eyes Miguel sighed as he leaned back in his chair, allowing himself to breathe in the smell of M/n cooking them both an early lunch before their doctor appointment. An appointment they both were excited but scared to go too. After all it would be their 5th appointment of seeing if Miguel’s constant supplements had helped any with his sperm count; one of many side effects of his DNA being spliced with a spider. An effect he hated, despised so much that Miguel was losing hope with each failed test, with each failed attempt at fertilizing the donor's eggs; eggs that were running low with each failed appointment.

Miguel had his fair share of breakdowns as this was their best chance to have a kid, as M/n was deemed infertile the second round of IVF. A fact that had broken the two men; a hard fact that had all the pressure placed on Miguel which M/n tried his best to help Miguel through, but there was only so much his love and support to ease the pain and hole forming in Miguel’s chest each time they got the news of yet another failure.

Even with technically advancing the way it has been compared to the early versions of IVF in the early and mid 2000’s to now with the child being grown in a womb like environment eliminating the risk of miscarriage by a large margin.

There was only so much technology can fix when it came to a genetic code being altered in the way Miguel’s has. Only so much injections of enhanced vitamins could do for a body that was genetically modified, only so much it could fix an already broken-

“Miguel hun, lunch is ready! And your medicine too love

Miguel groaned, rubbing his face even more as the knot in his stomachs made it harder for him to want to eat anything. Made the decision to just ignore this one appointment to just wallow in his own self pity; maybe then Miguel wouldn’t need to take anymore injections. Resting his arms on the glass surface of his office table Miguel felt the tired, mental exhausted tears start to purs into his eyes as he tried his best to control the painful knot in his chest at the thought of this appointment being another nail in his self worth.

M/n looked at the still closed door of Miguel’s and his office. Seeing no sign of Miguel coming out M/n whipped his flour covered hands looking at the plate of hot steaming beef and veggie empanadas he had just finished cooking .

A recipe Conchata had given him after the two revealed their engagement to Miguel’s family; who all accepted the fact it was either accept the two for their love of the other or they’d lose Miguel for good.

M/n remembered holding Miguel’s hand throughout the entire exchange. He still held his finances hand through this difficult time in their lives; wanting to have a child to call their own. M/n despised not being about to take all the weight off of Miguel; he wished he could be the one going through the bull of the stress and pressure of these appointments.

But he wasn’t…he was completely infertile; the Lilly hood of him having a kid even with IVF was zero. The least he could do for Miguel was make him as comfortable as he could for as long as the both of them wanted to keep trying.

After all it was ‘through sickness or health, til death’; the ring on his finger made it all a reality. They were starting the next chapter of their lives together. The wedding was all set up, the venue paid for, their suits tailored and ready. They bought a house! But even that wasn’t enough for what their hearts truly craved for a child; a kid they could both raise and watch grow up with two loving parents; far from the toxic lives the both of them had to endure.

They just had to wait and hope that this appointment was anything but good news for them. Placing the dirty kitchen towel on the counter M/n dusted what was left of flours and spices on his shirt. Before making his way to the closed black door of their modern homes office.

A light knock echoed throughout the house as m/n waited with baited breath for Miguel to answer him. Give him time to regain his composure before m/n enters.

Lyla looked over to Miguel who quickly wiped away the stray tears that escaped his normally composed face. She saw how much the two wanted a kid, even going as far as to pick out names ahead of time while planning their wedding. Even though she was sentient now she was still very limited on what she could do to help.

“Miguel”

“Hm”

Lyla forced a smile as she appeared next to Miguel’s shoulder, leaning over to look into his eyes getting his attention.

“M/n made your favorite!”

Lyla smile widen seeing Miguel’s frown turn into a small smile, as he scoffs his face turning a shade of red as he once again mumbled,

“Shock, ¿qué hice para merecer a alguien como él?”

Lyla disappeared and reappeared, informing Miguel, smiling as she pulled at a holo pad tilting her glasses down on her nose as she spoke in a joking assertive voice.

“Ah well let’s see, you and hot stuff over there met, we’re friends for four years and in that same year became boyfriends, then from then on you two dated, kissed, kissed, oh wow looky! Nope, more kissing, proposal and now you two are trying for a kid!”

Lyla froze her small bit hitting a sore subject as she tossed the holo pad over her shoulder listening to it canish in pixels as she turned to see Miguel’s face turn hopeless once more.

“Trying and failing-“

Lyla quickly appeared in front of Miguel shushing him.

“Listen here! And listen closely Miguel, you're not failing! You and M/n aren’t failing at anything, you’ll see Miguel things will start looking up for the both of you-“

A soft knock at the door was heard as M/n’s voice spoke up. His voice was soft, calming, warm as he spoke to Miguel.

“Hun are you okay? Is it okay if I come in?”

Clearing his throat Miguel waved Lyla away who huffed as she disappeared to another part of the house, continuing her installment of security measures.

“You don’t have to ask, this is your office too”

The door Jared opens revealing m/n whose clothes even after his attempt at dusting them off still had flour sticking to his shirt. Miguel smiled at M/n who made his way into their shared office, his eyes falling on the old day of the dead costume now turned spiderman suit that now mostly stayed locked for the time being behind a glass case.

The memories of Miguel saving him from a hostage and mugging, the moments the both of them spent in the other's arms comforting the other. loving each other with all their heart; Looking over to Miguel who began to fidget slightly as he started getting up only for M/n to make his way over to the stressed out man in front of him, placing his hands to Miguel’s tensed shoulders gently pushing him back into the comfortable office chair. Before leaning over the man who's had too much stress placed on his shoulders.

Leaning down M/n smiled his lips grazing Miguel’s, as he spoke his own hands running down Miguel’s muscular shoulders to his thighs massaging the even more tensed muscles. His hot breath landed against Miguel’s now parted lips as his focus turned from the stresses of their appointment to a need for a taste of M/n.

Miguel took in his fiancés appearance, his s/c skin that always seemed to glow anytime Miguel layed eyes on him, his H/l H/c hair that always managed to fall in the right places to frame his handsome features just right; enough to take Miguel’s breath away even after all these years Miguel would somehow still be flustered by the man in front of him.

“I know, but I figured you needed some time to yourself, didn’t want to interrupt your work mr. Sexy CEO”

M/n purred, closing the distance between their lips. Miguel sighed, feeling his entire body feel lighter as his hands reached up to take hold of M/n’s jaw gently rubbing it as they kissed.

The rhythm they kissed, the soft yet yearning for the others lips even after they had pulled away left the two nearly breathless as they stared at the other.

M/n smiled, leaning his face into Miguel’s hand, his own reaching for Miguel’s as they simply took in the atmosphere of this moment. The smell of food filling the air reminded the two of the meal waiting for them. Miguel sighed his face that had once been soft and relaxed after so long of stress now tensed at the approaching appointment. Another disappointment-

M/n kissed Miguel’s temple, feeling the pulse of the stressed out man in front of him who’s heart was beating rapidly.

“I know that face hun; this appointment has to be good news-“

“And what if it isn’t!”

Miguel shut his mouth at his outburst, his eyes burning once more that the thought of their doctors telling the couple more bad news or worse she’d tell them Miguel's sperm fertility was just not improving…that.

“Hun, it’s not hopeless, shock don’t say that anything but that, please.”

M/n’s voice creaked, he shook his head shoving his own feelings down, focusing on what he should say to Miguel who was losing hope.

“What else should I say, Cada visita es solo una pérdida de tiempo. I want to raise a kid with you so badly; I want to have a normal family with no strings attached…but every time we try Esta maldita genética mutante todavía lo arruina todo!”

M/n wiped away Miguel’s tears, ignoring his own that streamed down his face. They wanted to complete their family so badly, to raise their own family, to live a normal calm life. Seeing the man in front of him break down, his heart wide open and exposed, raw with grief and self hatred. He hated seeing Miguel so broken; going from a confident, strong headed, sarcastic hot shot to a broken mess in his arms M/n wanted to just take all the pain away.

“Miguel don’t say that”

“But it’s true, if I never tried to cure myself, never got my genetic code rewritten with a spider we wouldn’t-“

“I wouldn’t be alive”

“Huh-“

“Miguel, if none of this happened to you, if you never became spiderman…I would’ve died that night. Spiderman wouldn’t have saved so many lives, and even if you weren’t spiderman we both know you wouldn’t have just sat by and watched Alchemax keep hurting people. Things happen in ways that force us all to adapt, evolve in ways that shock even ourselves, be it in a positive or negative light. But don’t ever hate yourself ever, no matter what happens now to the future miguel I’m just happy to have you in my life, to have a kid with you and we will Miggy we just have to be patient a little bit longer”

Miguel leaned his head into the crook of m/n’s neck as he let out a shaky breath, wrapping his arms around m/n waist and back breathing in his scent. Mixed with expensive cologne and food had Miguel’s heart lighten; feeling truly at home in m/n’s arms, holding his soon to be husband.

“Estoy tan cansado de esperar”

“Oh hun I know, I know but we have to try and stay positive the best we can…which food can help com one handsome let’s eat and get you your injection before the doctor tears our heads off”

“Ugh, shock not another shot”

M/n stood up taking Miguel’s hand pulling him up from his chair pulling the muscular taller man against his own chest. The sounds of birds outside singing with the distant sounds of yard drones cutting the neighbors yards. It felt truly like home, staring down at M/n who caressed Miguel’s jaw luring him down for a peak.

“It’s just a small prick, besides hun I made your favorite food; managed to get your mom’s recipe”

Miguel peaked those intoxicating lips once more, his arms wrapping behind his lover's head. Untaloned Mighuel ran his fingers through the soft hair; gently tugging out knots as he gazed into the E/c eyes that stared back at him with such love it only luring him in even more; a siren song with no dangers.

“And how did you manage to do that? That woman keeps her recipes closer to her heart then that hun of hers”

Smirked, M/n flipped his head to the side, side eyeing Miguel.

“I have my ways, she’s not so secretive if you hang her dirty laundry out in front of her. Besides, it’s the least she could do after dragging our love through the mud. Now stop deflecting, let's eat before we go okay. And Miguel I love you just remember that no matter what I love you”

Leaning down Miguel pressed the twos for heads together, smiling allowing his teeth to show. His old confidence came back in full; feel much better than before.

~~~~~~

At that moment he was, but now that the couple sat in their room waiting for their reproductive endocrinologist Miguel became an anxiety riddled mess as he sat on top of the examination table trying to at the very least keep his talons in check as to not hurt the hand that was intertwined with his.

“Shh babe, just remember to breathe okay.”

Miguel tried to follow m/ns advice but even that wasn’t helping as Miguel squeezed his hand slightly as he kept his eyes moving around the room, reading the small posters featuring information on IVF and it’s almost beaconful message of;

‘We make families whole!’

Scoffing Miguel looked over to M/n who had his full attention on rubbing Miguel’s clenched hand, trying to sooth Miguel’s anxiety. Realizing he was hurting him Miguel eased his grip on his reassuring fiancé who leaned over in his chair placing a tame kiss upon Miguel’s quivering one.

His voice was like satin, soft and calming as he spoke with such confidence Miguel yearned to have such hope like M/n had.

“She’ll be here real soon hun, they are very busy today”

“I know but we’ve been waiting for an hour! Can they get this over with-“

“Hey now what did we talk about in the taxi hun?”

Miguel wanted to cop attitude but seeing the look M/n gave him Miguel sighed, taking a deep breath calming his already breaking heart at the news he knew they’d get once again. Breathing out Miguel pressed his head against M/n’s staring at their interwoven hands staring at the red diamond that sat set into the tungsten carbide band engraved with the couples most charashed phrase,

‘Mi única luz en la vida’

Words Miguel knew were far more truer now than ever before. His gaze soon fell to staring at m/n who smiled softly, even though he looked hopeful Miguel sensed he was just as much of a nervous wreck as he was.

“Try and stay hopeful-“

A small knock interrupted the couples thoughts as their doctor walked in, her holo pad along with her AI who processed the data came walking in. She was anything but a straight to the point, take not shot doctor. As she looked up her glasses caught the bright lights that had Miguel wearing his tinted sunglasses.

“Mr.O’Hara and Mr.L/N; I know you both what nothing more then to know the news-“

M/n smiled his voice loud and excited as he gave Miguel’s hand a slight squeeze as he spoke.

“Do we ever, it’s good news right doc?”

Miguel felt his fiancés hands shaking as they clasped over Miguel’s. Who now comforted M/n as his voice cracked some. Miguel clenched his teeth as tears began to gather.

“You both have been going through the highest levels of IVF, the most expensive treatments for infertility in men your age group and on top of that 5 separate appoints with no promising outcomes-“

‘Here it comes-‘

“Which is why I’m pleased to tell you both good news!”

Tears fell from Miguel’s eyes as he looked at the doctor, his and M/n’s hands gripping earthers tightly as the news left the doctors lips, her smile widening as she call for her AI to pull up the photos of a artificial womb with a small fetus floating within a time counting down twirls the date their child would be ‘born’.

“You both will be proud dads of a healthy baby girl! Congratulations!”

M/n yelled out pulling Miguel into a tight embrace, tears streaming down both soon to dads faces. Miguel began crying as well as he gripped the back of M/n’s shirt as he sobbed in pure relief of happiness. Almost disbelief as they stared at the photo given to the two of the child’s ‘ultrasound’. Standing up M/n wrapped his arm around Miguel’s waist as he asked the doctor questions Miguel didn’t bother to pay attention to as he held the photo in his hands, seeing their baby, their own daughter! Alive and healthy, a clear bill of health.

“When will she be fully developed I know this kind of new technology is recently upgraded and such with nutrition and growth potential en-“

“She’ll be born and ready for the both of you to take her home in around 3 months as long as she stays on the growth patterns she’s been showcasing. Rest assured mr.m/l, ohara we’re ensuring this little princess will be well taking cared of and safe”

Both parents sighed at the news, Miguel looked over to M/n who looked about ready to start crying himself at the news. The news they’ve been waiting for so long; was coming true, they’ll be parents with a baby girl running around. A strong, healthy baby girl.

“Now then I’ll just be right outside filling out your paperwork make sure to talk to the front office for your own paperwork to fill out, her name, legal parents that sort of thing, nothing to serious”

Miguel still could barely believe it even as he looked back down at the ultrasound seeing the small fetus that would soon grow into a baby; Their baby, migue leaned his body weight against M/n who smiled tears filling his own eyes as he held his fiancé.

“Thank you Dr.Lee, I-I don’t know how to even word just how much this means to us.”

Dr.lee smiled, placing a hand upon the couple's still interwoven hand.

“No need to thank me for doing my job, and once again congratulations Mr.l/n, Mr. ohara”

The door closed behind the doctor giving the new parents time to process the news of their daughter. M/n squeezed Miguel’s body closer to his as the two stood looking at the small ultrasound of their daughter. M/n smiled as Miguel's lips crashed against his own in a raw emotional moment of tears of both fathers, as overjoyed tears streamed down their faces: as all the stress and heartache finally vanished after months of wanting and waiting for this same news.

“W-we’re having a baby”

M/n smiled down at Miguel pulling his body flushed against his chest his hands gripping him by his waist his fingers soon running up Miguel’s white long sleeve shirt messaging the tension in his back out. Littering Miguel’s tear stain face with peaks with sweet nothings.

“ we’re having a little Gabriella, you did it hun; shock im so happy right now!”

Miguel’s eyes brightened kissing M/n back with a new found exuberance at the realization of this being real. That this was happening, that they were starting a family together. With a daughter they both always wanted Miguel’s hands wrapped around m/n’s neck basking in the joy the two felt,

“I guess this is the part I admit you were right?”

Laughing m/n held Miguel’s face in his hands leaning close enough for their noses to touch.

“Nah, I mean sure it’s nice to be proven right but now all I care about is that our daughter is safe and healthy and taking you out to celebrate…maybe invite the family?”

Miguel laughed, nudging his nose against m/ns shaking his head.

“You just wanna show off Gabriella don’t you”

“And why shouldn’t I? After all she’s our daughter, our strong, healthy, beautiful baby”

~~~~~

M/n couldn’t keep his hands to himself during dinner; and how could he? With Miguel sitting beside him as he spoke to Gabriel who seemed more distant and out of it, Miguel tried not to get sidetracked with the hand that slowly moved its way farther up his thigh. But the more he tried to ignore the hand that rubbed up and down his thigh getting closer to his slowly stirring cock. Trying to calm his body’s reaction Miguel tried asking Gabriel how his own fiancé was doing with her pregnancy.

“Oh she’s fine…when she’s not obsessing over spiderman. After all he’s the protector of the people right?-aye mamá! ¿Para qué era eso!”

Gabriel winced as Conchata hit the back of his head with his palm as she finished drinking her drink. Setting the drink down she turned to Gabe who seemed to know he messed up poorly as she began talking in her authoritative voice that made even Miguel tense up as. M/n tore his eyes away from the uncomfortable situation of watching an adult being ridiculed by his own mother.

“that was for disrespecting the man who managed to keep downtown safe while your stupid fiance and her useless rebel group got in spider man's way most of the time!El hecho de que esa rata sin hogar te haya abierto las piernas no significa que empieces a faltarle el respeto al hombre que está ayudando a tu hermano a sacar el crimen de las calles.”

Miguel had to force his face to stay as blank as he could as he took a bite from his meal, staring at the two members of his family arguing. While trying his best to not buckle against M/n's hand that now cupped his covered cock in his hand.

Messaging the area with a straight face side eyeing Miguel with a look that had Miguel’s stomachs knot up with lust; his cock throbbed against M/n’s hand earning Miguel a smile from M/n as his attention turn back to his mother and brother who were in an argument that was gaining some attention from the other people eating; clearing his throat M/n smiled at the two as he spoke a lovable tone calmed the two in laws down as he spoke.

“What we wanted to tell you both is that well…Miguel did we grab the photos?”

Miguel took a sip of his drink, nodding clearing his throat as he reached into his pocket grabbing the two ultrasound of the IVF womb with their soon to be daughter inside looking in her seventh month. Miguel’s hands shook not from nervousness even though he knew his mother and brother would take it as such but that was far from the reason he was quivering as the hand messaging his slowly hardening cock rubbed and cupped around him firmer.

“Mamá, Gabriel y M/N y yo estamos teniendo un bebé.”

Miguel’s smile widened, handing his mom and baby brother their own ultrasound pictures of his and M/ns baby girl.Gabriel practically yanked the ultrasound out of Miguel’s hand only for his scowl to turn into a look of pure adoring as he looked at his niece, his face beaming at the small image.

Conchata grabbed a hold of the small photo looking at the ultrasound . The stoic scowl that seemed to always be stuck on her face vanished as she looked down at the photo running his hand over the polished image of the baby curled up covering its face.

“Do you know the gender yet?”

Her voice softened as she stared over at the couple who looked at one another for permission. Miguel smiled at his mom,

“She’s a girl, a strong, healthy girl”

“What are you naming her! Did you come up with names yet?”

Gabe shouted as he leaned over the table at the couple.

“Yeah we settled on Gabriella for her. It just fits her don’t you think”

M/n's hand lightened its messaging of Miguel’s covered cock, Miguel’s one hand gripping the hand in place wanting it to stay, to keep its teasing as it stroked the straining fabric against his now hardened cock.

“Sure does! Now I know how to embarrass her haha Gabriel and Gabriella! Genius M/n!”

“Actually man it was Miguel who chose the name. He seemed dead set on the name and who am I to tell him no”

M/n smirked, kissing Miguel on his cheek; Gabriel’s chest clenched seeing the happy couple. Seeing his older brother aka spiderman in a loving relationship while his own as being torn apart because of Spiderman!

Looking away Gabriel grabbed his drink, chugging the rest of the alcohol, getting an elbow in his ribs by his mom who corrected his manners.

“Don’t drink like that”

Resisting the urge to yell at his mom who now favored his more successful CEO brother. Instead Gabe apologizes for his hasty celebration. Congratulating the couple before standing up excusing himself for leaving early.

“Do you want us to pay for a taxi for you Gabe!-“

“No, I'm good! Congrats again miggy!”

Miguel sighed, placing his head into his hands rubbing his temple looking towards his mom, who was now standing up grabbing her jacket, rolling her eyes at Gabriel’s ‘childish behavior’ stating she had to get going. Saying she had an appointment with a friend.

As both of the couple watched as the two rushed out leaving M/n and Miguel alone at the table. M/n’s other hand guiding Miguel’s hurt expression to face him kissing his fiancé who’s family rushed out as fast as they came. M/n knew the family had a toxic streak but to just ditch a celebration of a new member of the family coming soon…m/n knew it cut Migue deep.

Leaning forward M/n pressed his lips against Miguel’s, being glad the couple chose a booth seat as not many people bothered to look at the couple.

The hand that messaged Miguel’s cock gripped his balls harder, fondling them the best they could with; making Miguel pant, trying to keep his face and noises down as they were still in a public space surrounded by intel’s other people.

“We’ll celebrate in our own way after all You're getting pretty horny now aren’t you hot stuff?”

Miguel’s other hand gripped around M/n's wrist for support as his hand began palming his cocks head through his jeans. It took all his will power to not throw his head back from the pleasure and teasing he never knew he missed getting from his other half; who’s lips brushed against the shell of his ear, his hot breath brushing against Miguel’s skin had his skin shiver with goosebumps all in anticipation…hinging on every word the man in front of him whispered.

“Wanna treat my baby’s daddy just right, gotta make him feel real appreciated”

Miguel let out a soft gasp moan as lips trailed down his jaw to his neck. Miguel couldn’t take much more, his cocks throbbing became painful, his legs were turning into jelly at the images runny through his dirty, horny mind.

Would his throat be fucked raw? On his back taking his lover's cock? Would he fuck him like an animal in heat, pull his hair, mark him. Miguel’s grip tightened around M/n's wrist while his free hands talons tore through the leather of the booths seats.

Feeling M/n smirk against his neck Miguel sighed leaning his head against m/n chest; embarrassed wasn’t the word he’d describe himself, there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came down to their lust for each other, PDA a sign for either of them to get home fast or there was no stopping them from indulging in their carnal desires for pleasure.

For many men Miguel’s size being the ‘bottom’ was embarrassing, to look too weak so fragile for any amount of touch to satisfy their needs. To Miguel it was pure bliss to let the walls down to let someone else take control to be in charge of his own pleasure. Someone like M/n who knew Miguel’s body inside and out, knew ways to make Miguel go limp at the near thought of getting fucked raw with carnal, primal lust and desire.

Feeling m/ns lips leave his neck Miguel clung to him jerking his hips slightly against the hot palm rubbing him through his pants. His focus was beginning to slip with each thrust of m/ns palm against the head of the aching cock. So much heat burning in his stomachs Miguel felt his control slipping even more as his fangs ached leaking bits of his own venom into his mouth mixing with his drool in ways that had his tongue buzzing with the bitter sweet taste.

“Por favor, te necesito tanto que duele el amor”

M/n's hand palming softened its unbearable teasing as he pulled Miguel’s head into his neck area as his voice shouted out to their waitress. Miguel’s large muscular body tenses at slight fear of being caught in the act had Miguel regain some sense through the cloud of heated lust.

“Excuse me, could you call up an auto taxi please? We both must have drank more than we thought.”

Miguel let out a strained moan at the sudden strong rubbing that started once more. His mind rendered into a fog of pleasure struggling to keep itself focused on the act of staying aware of the situation they were in. He could hardly even focus on what their waitress was saying.

“Oh of course sir I’ll go do that right away, was your automatic payment set up for when you leave?”

“Oh yeah it’s all set up, tell the cooks good job on the food yeah and here's a tip for the trouble.”

“Oh there’s no need but thank you so much sir, the taxi will be here soon!”

Miguel let out a groan of relief with the deparcher of the young waitress. Trying his best to play it off as him being ‘drunk’ that didn’t stop M/n from kissing down his jaw to his neck, nipping at the sensitive skin near Miguel’s ear; sucking the skin leaving hickeys from his jaw down his neck. The grip Miguel’s talons had on the leather seat tightened even farther, tearing more of it in their wake of pleasure.

“joder a la mierda por favor necesito sentir tus manos a mi alrededor, I can’t take it anymore-“

“Mr.l/n your taxi is here!”

Miguel’s face tensed his eyes clenched shut, his lips swollen from his teeth biting down to keep the moans from pouring from them. But m/ns hand didn’t light up even as his sweetened voice. But Miguel knew the slight straining behind it as M/n's hand tugged Miguel’s shirt from his pants helping Miguel hide his rage ig boner as the two stood up.

M/n gathered most of their stuff, wrapping his hand around Miguel’s waist as he ‘helped’ Miguel walk outside to their taxi that waited for them, it became harder to walk from the anticipation of whatever was in store for him once they both got into the hover car.

Tossing their coats into the hover car M/n held the door open for miguel who only had one foot into the car before hands rubbing up his covered spine before lips kissed behind his ear, Miguel groaned when a hand gripped his straining cock firmly before letting Miguel go to get into the taxi.

The autopilot chimed on,

-“Please enter in destination requirements”-

M/n closed the doors hatch, without hesitation M/n swung his leg over Miguel’s legs straddling, his knees m/n’s face blocking much of Miguel’s view as he racked his hands all over Miguel’s muscular body.

Both adults eyes filled with lust for the other, Miguel’s body could help but shake as hands that weren’t his own started running up his thighs landing just shy of the raging cock that throbbed underneath the slowly staining fabric. Miguel barely had time to hit enter on the holo pad before the hands unbuttoned the jeans and took the pre-dripping cock out from the straining fabric.

No matter how hard Miguel tried he couldn’t hold back the unrestrained pornographic moan that escaped. He’s never felt this much lust in his life, it was almost suffocating as the hand started it unbearably slow pumping from head to base. It was as if with each stroke of the hand left Miguel more breathless than before,

Throwing his head back to the back stead’s headrest M/n's free hand took a handful of Miguel’s dark locks making him stare into e/c eyes. Miguel groaned, staring at the man he was marrying, having a kid with, and fell so deeply in love with it nearly hurt to feel him all around him.

Leaning forward M/n smirked, his voice heated, hot, and horny all for Miguel to make the man under him feel appreciated, worshiped, and valued. And that was exactly M/n planned to do, make Miguel’s walls come fully down to fuck him in ways that would make them both so exhausted the next morning they’d just stay in bed and bask in the afterglow of sex but the new found strength both parents had now for their daughter.

“¿Qué quiere papá que haga? What can I do to make him feel appreciated?”

Miguel’s mind was slipping, slipping into the pools of light headed lust. Pleasure building painfully slow in his guts, the weightless feeling of the hover taxi waiving past other hover cars only added to the feelings of his mind slipping into giving all power to the man over him.

All Miguel felt was appreciation from the man in front of him, sighing as lips trailed down his lips to his neck, the warmth wet trail left from his fiancés tongue left in its wake had Miguel craving for more of m/n.

“Ah, ¡joder! No sé”

-“please refrain from contaminating the back seat; if you proceed to do so you will be charged extra for any cleaning services that will be required”-

The automated voice sounded over the taxis inner speakers of the back seat. It sent an electric shock through Mighuels body as he made an attempt to fix himself, only for a hand to push his back against the plush seats of the Taxi. Soft swollen lips pushing against his own, M/n’s voice lustful, soft and jokingly tone all slipping through his voice as he spoke against Miguel’s slightly parted lips.

“You do know; you’ve known for months what you’ve wanted me to do to that body of yours; you just have to tell me how you want it daddy, this is all for you to feel appreciated”

M/n pulled Miguel by his shirt, closing the space between their lips in a heated kiss. Miguel moaned, letting his mind give in; opening the floodgates as Miguel’s hands ran their way up M/n hips grinding his hips up with each jerking motion the hand around his cock pumped. Pre leaking down the thick Vick onto the hand, lubing it up even more to pump faster.

The air around the lovers heated up, the smell of sex and sweat mixed together with their colones that only became stronger the more they sweated. Miguel’s mouth limply hang open his forehead resting against M/n’s chest watching his cock vanish and reappear as the hand twisted at the head making it leak even more pre, drool dripping from his mouth as he watched his cock get pumped with the hand; spit joint the pre in lubricating m/ns hand in jerking Miguel more efficiently.

“Remember Miggy we can’t make a mess”

Hooking a finger under Miguel’s chin M/n lifted his face to look at the existence of the state Miguel was in. What he saw had his own cock throb painfully at Miguel’s flushed face, his unfocused eyes, the drooling mouth that revealed his fangs that seemed like they were even losing control over their venom leaking out, Miguel’s messing hair clinging to his forehead. M/n smirked down at his blissed out minded fiancé who’s arms clung loosely on his hips.

“ w-want you inside, hmm ah”

Miguel moaned his head leaning against M/ns hand, his body was in a state of plearsureable numbness. The only thoughts going through his mind was the thought of M/n cock filling him up with is seed. In a primal part of his mindset miguel craved to be filled to the brim with M/ns kids.

“Want your cum…in me filling me”

“Oh? And why does daddy want my cum?hmm”

Twisting his hand harshly at the reddening tip of Miguel’s cock; m/n moaned watching Miguel’s body shake involuntarily with Miguel’s whines from the amount of pleasure.

Miguel couldn’t take anymore his cock,his stomachs, even his ass ached for his fiancés cock to fuck him raw and full with cum.

“I want more kids, want you t-o fill me with them ahh, carajo!”

Miguel stammered his request filled M/n with such primal desire to do just as his future husband asked. Fill him full of his cum, his kids, to get him pregnant; to give their baby girl Gabriella siblings right away.

It was a part of Miguel’s brain that had these instincts programmed into him from the desisted, it made Miguel feel nothing more than a needy animal but in a way it was part of Miguel that he couldn’t hate…not when it made sex feel so fucking good.

Yet Miguel wasn’t prepared for his pants to be yanked as far down as M/n could manage before he got sexually frustrated enough to the point he removed his hand from Miguel’s burning cock to O’Neal down in between Miguel’s legs yanking his stained jeans the rest of the way off.

Licking his lips as he stared at Miguel’s pre-covered cock to his twitching hole. Shoving his own fingers into his mouth not knowing just how deputed Miguel’s venom was;

“Don’t give me those sexy eyes, I’m not gonna risk getting paralyzed by that venom of yours again.”

Throwing his head back in frustration Miguel knew M/n was valid in his concerns last time they were lost in this kind of lust he was paralyzed for a good part of the day stuck with a raging boner.

Opening his eyes Miguel looked down at M/n who was sucking on his own fingers coating them in his spit, while his other hand grabbed ahold of Miguel’s thigh guilding it over his shoulder showing off the puckering ring of muscle that craved for him.

Feeling his face heating up to a point Miguel could only moan as fingers began their teasing taunts with each small push, a slight probe. Whines escaped Miguel’s lips as one of his hands gripped his own hair the other made its way to his beading pre cock. Only for the hand to get slapped away.

Shocked, Miguel looked down to M/n whose face was in between the two mounds of ass, his tongue pushing past the ring of muscle, loosening the inside enough for a finger to shove it’s way all the way to his knuckle.

“Amor a la mierda por favor déjame eyacular”

Miguel’s struggling voice whines his free hand reaching down to M/n hair gripping his fingers into the soft messy h/c. Pulling m/ns head closer with each brush made on his prostate. The burning pleasurable sort of pain each time a finger was added along with the tongue that still eases the ring of muscle open.

Stretching Miguel’s ass farther, the heights of Miguel’s nearly climax was at its peak, the knot that formed altightened, heightening his senses even higher than before as blood rushed to his ears the corners of his eyes started to go white with pleasure.

All stopped once the autopilot spoke once more the voice alerting them of their nearly destination in a few moments. Causing the head between Miguel’s shaking thighs to retreat, along with the tongue that Miguel had gotten so used to the warmth of inside him.

Letting out a desperate breath Miguel looked down at M/n. Whose face was just as flushed as Miguel’s as he stared back, his fingered scissoring Miguel’s still tight hole open; preparing him just the way he wanted.

All while he stroked a hand against Miguel’s neglected cock that leaked far more the more teasing M/n did.

“Look at yourself you sexy beast, being scissored and stretched with one hand while being given the best handjob with the other and still you want me. Shock I love it when you let me take care of you baby, so sexy”

Miguel’s hands clasped M/n head weakly hinting at his desperate want for their lips to mean once more. Chuckling M/n continued his assault of his fiancés ass and cock. Their lips barely brushed against the other when the hover taxi sounded;

-“destination reached! Scanning; cleaning required your holo card will be charades as such for a cleaning crew, enjoy your day”-

M/n smirked down to Miguel’s exposed body, exposed to him and him only; Miguel’s muscles that were flexed made the shirt he worse tight and cling to parts of his body that had M/n drooling himself while racking his eyes down the masterpiece of the body before him.

Miguel’s cocked twitching with the lack of attention went for his ass as it tried to pull his fingers deeper. Latching onto Miguel’s soft spot on his neck resulting in slightly taloned hands to grip his shoulder breaking the skin slightly: the pain was worth more of those sweet, addictive moans being pulled from those plump lips.

“Shock Miguel keep doing that and I might let you fuck me instead”

Miguel’s groan tugging on M/n’s suit wanting him to be in the same amount of undress he was right now. Miguel wanted him inside, fucking him raw and primal to worship his body like he knew M/n would.

“cariño, please get me into the house and you can do whatever you want with me!”

His head rolled back as M/ns fingers retreated out from his ass, with a wet sound as they pulled fully out leave his hole twitching for something to clench, to suck deep within itself.An invention M/n would soon take

“When you put it like that how can I say no”

Miguel let out a shaking breath as hands brushed up his chest all the way down to the jeans that were still down at his ankles.

“Shock I can’t stop looking at you; fucking beautiful”

Lips ghosted down Miguel’s thighs, the trail of kisses were near unbearably sweet; it had him breathless all while M/n pulled his Jeans up, his boxers covering most of Miguel’s hyper sensitive cock.

The fabric now covering him up had Miguel panting as he resisted the urge to pull the clothes off his hyper sensitive cock. The fabric brushing against his slightly exposed head had Miguel squeezing his legs together as much as he could as the two made their way into their house.

A house that already held so many memories and would hold more. A clean organized house, with modern furniture decorating the interior of the modern home. The only messy part could be spotted in the kitchen which was getting cleaned already by LYLAs drones.

Miguel’s scenes were in overdrive; the smells of both men perforated the air of the house with their colognes, and now the smell of sweat, and sex that clung to the two. The smells are becoming stronger in their bedroom. A room that houses all the smells that had Miguel's instincts go wide.

It all had Miguel’s head spinning as he turned to M/n who smirked as he threw their suits onto the floor seeing the darkening lust that poured into Miguel’s eyes just before he pulled his other half on top of him.

M/n gasped as their bodies hit the plush bed; Miguel’s face was redder than m/n had ever seen it, his hair was messy sprawling over his face and bed. His fangs catching the dimmed lights as miguel spoke his voice thick with a need to be fucked, to be filled with cum.

“Love you; want more of you”

“Yeah?”

“¡Sí, por el amor de la mierda, por favor, que me jodan!”

M/n practically ripped Miguel's clothes off leaving the far more stronger man naked and bare underneath his body. Miguel’s broad figure relaxed moaning with each light touch M/n left on his skin. Any amount of lips that licked up the sweat that ran down Miguel’s anticipating body.

M/n loved seeing Miguel so lost in the ecstasy of it all. Watching him shiver,buckle, beg underneath him seeing him finally let go of all the stress and pressure that the last few months placed on him. Now he gave in, allowing himself to feel everything all at once.

M/n took his time stripping his own close off his body, giving the desperate Miguel underneath him something to enjoy with each curse word that poured from Miguel’s lips with each piece of clothing thrown elsewhere in the room.

Miguel, sexually frustrated made a move to pull M/n down to him but it only resulted in him being flipped into his stomach. Gasping as hands gripped his hips, pulling them flushed with a straining pair of pants that covered a raging cock under eight rubbing ever so slightly against Miguel’s prepped plum ass.

“Such an impatient daddy; maybe I should punish you-“

“No!”

“I guess you're right, this day is all about you, about making you feel really loved. Is that what you want for me to shove my cock inside this needy hole?”

Miguel’s talons released from his fingers gripping the thick blanket underneath the two, the unstable fibers of the blanket resisted the tearing from Miguel’s claws. Miguel looked over his broad shoulders seeing M/n tossing his pants off the bed along with his boxers leaving them both fully naked, a fact that had Miguel pushing his ass back against the cock that now rubbed its pre leaking head between the two mounds.

Miguel arched his back as the head teased his waiting, ache hole. The heat radiating from m/n legs and cock that pressed flushed with Miguel’s body had him moaning tears of joy ran down his face with the burning pleasure rippled through his ass up to his head.

As m/n started to slowly push the head of his cock inside Miguel. Hearing M/n’s low moans against his lower back, groaning about Miguel’s tightness that clenched around the head.

“Shock, miggy your ass is pulling me in so well”

Miguel moaned loudly at the praise, taking pure bliss of feeling so fucking full of M/n’s cock. Each each raised Miguel’s moans higher and higher, the addictive burn of his ass adjusting around the cock that fox in oh so perfectly had Miguel’s rolling his hips. M/n's hands grip on Miguel’s hips tightening as he holds back to give Miguel some time to breath only for Migue to buck his ass back slamming the rest of the cock into him.

“Fuck miguel! Ah”

“sí se siente tan lleno querido, más quiero todo lo que tienes"

Miguel managed to get his arms under him, his talons gripping tighter on their blankets; the glow from the fibers resisting the tears had the dim room glowing faintly as the illuminated the two pleasure lost men.

Miguel threw his head back moaning loudly as M:n hips gave in fully to Miguel’s demands. An iron grip on Miguel’s hips would bruise the next morning from the intensity of m/ns thrusts had Miguel voice breaking mid moans. In no time m/ns cock found Miguel’s prostate ramming into the bundle of nerves repeatedly.

Electrifying pleasure after pleasure had Miguel screaming as his vision began to turn nearly white as the pleasure blinded him. His knees began to lock up the feeling of the nearly inhuman speed his fiancés thrusted into his tight ass had Miguel railing for more.

Thrusting his own hips back against m/ns the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in their room the smell of sex and sweat became nearly as intoxicating as the pleasure. The nails in his hips trailed separating one wrapping itself around Miguel’s dripping reddening cock pumping the cock in time with his thrusts stimulating Miguel’s nerves even more. Miguel’s mouth hangs open saliva escaping his mouth that is now mixed with his venom making for a sweet but bitter taste to be a constant in his mouth.

Before Miguel had time to realize the other hand trailing threw his hair it was already to last as M/n pulled Miguel’s head back, both arms wrapped around Miguel’s body pulling the pleasure lost man to his own chest allowing lips and tongue to trail down Miguel’s neck leaving hickeys and bite marks in their wake.

Miguel’s moans turned into whimpers as the increased intensity of m/n thrusts became harder and faster the knot in Miguel’s stomachs was reaching its breaking point; Miguel’s cock was leaking an amount M/n's hand was covered in the pre.

“Ah, look down Miggy, fuck my cock is filling you good hun”

Miguel did as he was told with slight resistance from the still tight grip M/n's hands had in his hair. What he saw had Miguel nearly lose his instinct riddled mind as a bus able bulge could be seen with each harsh unforgiving thrusts.

“Go on, fill it, fill just how much I’m filling you baby; rub that cock filled stomach of yours for me.”

Miguel threw his head back as another dead-on hit to his prostate was made, his head resting against M/n shoulder. His hands trailed up to his stomachs moaning at each thrust had the bulge protruding from Miguel’s stomachs to rub against his hands.

M/n was right he was filling Miguel so good, so much filled him Miguel never wanted this to end the feeling the cocks head gave him with each thrust had Miguel’s brain want to believe it wasn’t a cock but his and M/n’s child growing inside of him. A baby bump; that a child was growing inside of Miguel.

“Shock M/n more ¡Lléname, cum dentro de mí por favor! quieres darle a Gabriella un hermano quiere a tus hijos, amor”

“Ah fuck keep t-talking like that and I’ll loose it hun”

“So close to, ah shock, shock please so close! W-anna feel you cum inside me!”

The knot that’s been building in both of the two lovers grew to its breaking point. The pain melded with the pleasure of the pressure build up had Miguel gripping M/n's ass keeping him in place the best he could while his screams of pleasure filled the room ; ropes of cum splattering all over the bed sheets and m/ns still pumping hands.

Wet skin slapping movements filled the air of the couples room; as a tear stained Miguel gasped for any amount of air he could get as his body shook only for a moan to rip be ripped out of him as his hand felt M/ns hips sputtering in a final harder thrust up into Miguel’s tightening hole; the bully Miguel felt twitching harshly against his prostate as his inside were flooded with m/ns hot seed. Made Miguel buckle his own hips into the air as yet another unexpected second orgasam hit him.

Grabbing hold of M/n's hair Miguel sighed, feeling his lover's lips soothing him. Soft lips trailing up Miguel’s neck to his jaw. His hand turning Miguel’s fucked out expression towards him peppering kisses all over Miguel’s face that scrunched up in discomfort as 5the now softened cock slipped from his cum dripping hole.

Leaving Miguel whining yet moaning at the soft attention he was receiving from M/n whose other hand rubbed what was left of Miguel’s cum on the now dirty blanket. Before stroking Miguel’s aching thighs and hips.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?”

Miguel laughed, opening his eyes to stare at his worried fiancé who’s shoulder bore more damage compared to Miguel’s soon to be bruising hips.

“You're asking me? Last I checked I’m not bleeding anywhere”

“Yeah yeah smart ass, fuck I love you so much“

Interweaving his fingers through the h/c hair Miguel breathed in m/ns scent now mostly smelling of Miguel and sex Miguel relaxed basking in their afterglow.

“Yo también te amo, m/n”

Feeling m/n face pressed into Miguel’s neck Miguel relaxed as he continued to play with his lover's hair; feeling him speak against his neck a statement that had Miguel’s chest ache with just how much he loved his man holding him.

“And I love our daughter; I’ll protect both of you the best way I can I swear, I’ll keep you both safe no matter what”

“Now you’re stealing my lines”

A chuckle tickled Miguel’s sensitive neck as they both chuckled while caressing each other's bodies, messaging out the aching muscles.

“Sure am, we deserve a normal life don't you think, a nice long vacation”

“And just how long is this vacation lasting?-“

“The rest our lives; raising our beautiful baby”

The couple intertwined their hands M/n looking down at Miguel’s ring around his finger, the joy and light feeling of finally finding the family he’s spent all his life searching for was here. Had always been here in his arms for years and now another part of their family is one her way as well.

Pulling Miguel’s hand to his lips both Miguel and M/n kissed their ringed fingers, nudging ‘em their head together as they basked in the love they held for each other and their daughter.

Nothing would change that…ever.

Part 6 final

( damn this turned out very long and angsty and soft all at the same time! Hope y’all like it!)

[skinscals]

I've struggled with binging my whole life. Now I've managed to lose almost 21lbs and more is coming off. I'd like to share some things I've used when I'm feeling like binging!

1. I WANT TO BINGE

It causes me legit anxiety when I get the urge to eat. Sometimes it's something specific, sometimes it can be moldy bread I have already. But if you feel like you want the food RN, think that you can always go and get it. Just, wait 10 minutes, if you really need it, it's okay, you can always go out and buy it. The food ain't gonna disappear anywhere. This mindset brings me kind of peace.

If you're feeling hungry but you've just eaten, drink water. Also remember to take your vitamins and supplements. If you have huge deficiency on those things your body may start sending hunger cues. If you lack vitamins, your body craves sugar etc.

2. I ALREADY STARTED BINGING

And you can stop it! You've already had a taste, right? You want to keep binging because you know how awesome it tastes. Brush your teeth and get the flavors out of your mouth! It helps! I use this all the time! I already started on my chocolate cake, I brush the taste off! It's the taste that keeps us wanting more!

3. I BINGED...

It feels like it's the end of the world... You hate yourself, so you decide that now on you start restricting even more, right? Please dont. Hold yourself accountable but do not punish yourself. If you binge, you probably have some mental issues you cope with food. Thinking about your binge too much creates panic and stress and self hatred, which causes you to binge again. Don't put any more mental load on yourself.

WHAT CAN I DO TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING?!

Take it from someone, who has struggled with this their whole life!

- Don't restrict too much. The cycle between binging and restricting will never end...

- When you eat, instead of focusing on how low cal it is, focus on will it make you full? If you eat 200 low cal stuff, and it won't make you full, you'll binge another 1000kcal in one sitting. Instead, focus on protein and nutrients and, Will this make me full? If it doesn't, they're stupid empty calories you ate for, uhm, for fun. If it does, you ate something to survive and keep your engine running. Be clever!

- If you use food as a coping mechanism or as a reward or anything, I feel you. This one's tricky, because coping mechanisms are important and you can't really take them away once they're learned. It's hard, and we may replace them with something more harmful and dangerous. Try things. Personally I find going on walks very effective. I listen Ed stuff or my favorite songs. If I feel very shitty, I may run until I can't breathe. And every time I feel better when I come home. I still use food sometimes, but now I have another option as well. Please, try things!

- if you crave something very specific let's say, chocolate, instead of forbidding it from yourself, buy a little bar of chocolate. Maybe even every day (count it's calories tho!) If you forbid something from yourself, you'll want it even more. And, guess what, binge on it. Which is better, one 200kcal bar of chocolate or 1200kcal chocolate bar? Between the two bad choices, pick the one that's less bad.

- Find replacement foods. If you crave chocolate for example, find something similar but healthier. I use protein bars. They're filling and chocolate! I won't be craving more after 1 or 2 and it's still better than eating the whole 1200kcal bar!

- Learn to love yourself now. Or even like. If that's too hard, please have even some respect for yourself. It's been studied that If you get negative encouragement, you'll probably fail but if you get positive encouragement you'll more likely succeed in what you're doing!

- Write your feelings and goals down somewhere and come back to them when you feel like binging!

- Remember that you're not perfect. If you have binging problem, you will binge in the future. But as you learn on the way, you'll binge less and less and one day you'll notice, that the last time you relapsed was 6 months ago. It's a journey as well. Learn from it.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask anything! I hope these would help even one person. You got this.

Stay safe, love life and focus on your goals! 💕 You're amazing and you deserve to live happily!

[literaticat]

Publishing aunty please help. Need advice, not publishing related.

What do you do when you're just tired, feeling unfulfilled and want to run away from everything? :( 

That sounds like a classic case of Burnout to me, though it could be combined with something else -- like Depression, or even a medical problem.

(For example, at one point a couple years ago, I was absolutely exhausted for no discernable reason and burst into tears at the drop of a hat -- I chalked it up to "winter blues" and ignored it -- come to find out, eventually, I had severe anemia and my body was not absorbing iron at all and actually it was an autoimmune disorder and became a Whole Thing! Uh... oops!)

This article from the Cleveland Clinic gives a lot of advice about what to do about Burnout -- but the most salient points, I think:

Be gentle with yourself. Everyone goes through it sometimes. You aren't a failure, you're going to be OK, you just have to take care of yourself before you can properly take care of anyone or anything else. So with that resolved:

TELL YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM HOW YOU ARE FEELING. Keeping this stuff undercover is not going to help. Being honest with your friends/family/partner or whoever your "people" are will lighten your mental load AND they will want to help and support you.

Figure out what your stressors are and tactics to deal with them. Part of this will be linked to the previous part, probably -- For example, if you are burdened by too much work -- DELEGATE or ASK FOR HELP! You've told your support system what's up with you -- now tell them what you need to move forward.

Set Boundaries. If you're the type of person that says yes to everything and then you feel overwhelmed -- remember that it's OK to say NO. It's a good thing, actually. You'll be more "on" for the things that are actually important if you are able to protect your own boundaries and aren't wasting energy on bullshit things. I can't stress enough how important this is (and it's something I am always working on, because it can be tough!) -- but my life CHANGED when I made certain rules for myself and stuck with them. For example, mine: No checking email after 7pm or on weekends. At all. I gotta tell you, my life suddenly got a lot better. (I have forgotten this one recently, and my life has gotten markedly worse -- so I gotta get back to that!)

Go to the doctor. Yes, going to the doctor sucks! But they can make sure your bloodwork is OK, you aren't Vitamin D or Iron deficient, rule out any problems (like, I dunno, severe anemia)... etc etc. Like, step one of Self Care is knowing what your Self is working with. (And if you think you might actually be capital-D Depressed or have anxiety, etc -- ask for a referral to a psychiatrist to see about getting some medicine. IT WORKS!)

Practice Self-Care. Yes, that means the boring stuff like "hydrate" and "make you are getting enough sleep" and "eat your veggies" and "meditate" and whatnot -- but also, you want to "run away from everything"? DO IT. Take a vacation -- or even a staycation -- or even a DAYcation -- where you are literally not doing ANYTHING for anyone else, no email, no nothing. Get a pedicure with extra massage, sit in sunlight with your favorite drink, read a book or just think about NOTHING -- you have no responsibilities except to yourself during this time. It's rejuvenating!

Get toxic feelings out of your system. Find a therapist, if you can afford to do so. (There may be free or inexpensive options if you are a student, or with some insurance, some therapists have a sliding scale for patients, etc) A therapist can give you at least somebody to talk things out with who doesn't know you and isn't judging you. If that's not for you -- journal? Do something artistic? Go to a rage room? Climb a mountain and scream a lot?

Now you are on the road to being healthy, physically and mentally, you hopefully have less stress and are getting your forty winks and all that good stuff -- and hopefully you'll be MUCH better soon.

Good luck!

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲: easy tips to form healthy habits ( based on this alessya farrugia video )

if you don't have a solid night routine, you may as well throw away your whole morning routine, because the decisions you make at night are gonna to directly affect you in the morning and how you go about your day. if you binge watch netflix 'til 1am calling it your "rest time" only for you to wake up in the morning feeling tired and frustrated, it's time for you to build a night routine and stick to it.

pro tip do not try to improve everything all at once, you're gonna fail. just try to incorporate something small in your routine to start forming healthy habits. it might take months, but one year from now it will all be worthy.

𝟭. prepare for the next day ( 📒 )

write down your to-do list for the next day. when i don't plan out my day i just end up doing nothing, because i don't even know where to start. but if you know what you have to do you don't end up procrastinating and start getting things done. also, do not overload yourself with too much things to do, you're just not going to accomplish them all, so keep it realistic.

bonus put the most important tasks on the top of your list so you're gonna accomplish them as soon as possible.

𝟮. clean you room ( 🫧 )

it really depends on when you are the most active – for example i'm a night owl and i can't even imagine cleaning my room in the morning – but yes, removing all the mess you made during the day will help you leaving it all behind and starting fresh new the next day. put your clothes away, remove books, notebooks, make-up products, trash all around and i guarantee you that you're gonna feel so much better.

𝟯. take care of your body ( 🌷 )

take a warm shower that can help you relax, do your skincare, change in your comfy clothes, basically wash away the stress and negativity of the day. last semester i would literally stay at uni for 10h straight and coming back home at 8pm after the gym, i used to take a warm shower straight after that so i could let all the negativity of the outside world slide off me.

𝟰. drink hot tea ( 🍵 )

avoid theine but treat yourself to a hot drink that helps you relax and restore your calm, also take your vitamins and give yourself those ten minutes in your personal space.

𝟱. self love and affirmations ( 💖 )

reflect on your day, write down in your diary all the things that happened, pray, meditate, do your affirmations, leave everything in the past, do not let today's disappointments, stress and frustration affect your tomorrow. the only way in which you can truly move forward is by facing the things that happened today to leave them in the past, tomorrow is a new day.

𝟲. get off your phone ( 📱 )

definitely the hardest part for me. i don't even want to explain why it's so dangerous for you to stay awake scrolling through your phone at night – blue light and whatever – so just be strong and try to get off your phone at least 1h before going to bed, use eye-protection mode after sunset and use blue glasses if you can.

bonus use only red light at night, blue light are gonna inhibit your melatonin production ( which is what makes you sleep at night ).

𝟳. go to bed on time ( 🛏️ )

do not delay your bed time in order to get more dopamine scrolling through social media or binge watching netflix. do not sacrifice your sleep in order to do more work/study ( i did it in the past and it's definitely not worthy ), prioritizing your sleep is going to reward you in the long run. trust and believe.

𝟴. 321 rule for better sleep ( 💤 )

3 hours before bed –> stop eating. it gives you enough time to digest your food so you're not going to waste energy during your sleep to digest and you're gonna wake up less tired.

2 hours before bed –> stop studying/working. you need to drag your brain out of your "fight or flight" mode in order to get deep rest at night.

1 hour before bed –> stop screen time. allow your body to produce the melatonin that it needs in order to fall asleep properly.

[thecheekyblog]

It’s November Darling!

As it get colder, we get cozier. It is a time to slow down and re-arrange our routine to the new season upon us.

As the day get shorter, we have less time and energy to by that proactive bitch that we were all summer/fall.

I realized real quick that my body was not as energetic as it has been few weeks ago. It is almost impossible to get myself out of bed and i need to find ways to fight that seasonal depression.

Here are few way to still be a bad bitch even when it gets colder!

Dealing with seasonal depression can be challenging, but there are several strategies that might help:

1. Light Therapy: Consider using a light therapy box. These devices mimic natural sunlight and can help improve mood. Basically you need sum sun honey! Get sum light, something to get them rays in!

2. Stay Active: Regular exercise can boost your mood and energy levels. A bad bitch is a fit bitch okay. YouTube will be your bestie. I have started yin yoga since it is more gentle but I still get my 10k step in and try to do at least a 30 min workout a day 4-5 days a week.

3. Get Outside: Try to spend time outdoors, especially during daylight hours. It is nice to be at home, but I believe fresh air and being with nature from time to time can change your whole mood for the better. If you don’t believe me, believe science .

4. Maintain a Routine: Keeping a consistent daily schedule can provide structure and stability. I have a nice routine, like your skin care routine, workout, just do a new planner that fits that new season.

5. Connect with Others: WE DO NOT ISOLATE! Reach out to friends and family. Give love and receive it in return. Catching my friends is all the therapy in need in life.

6. Healthy Diet: Burger and fries wont cut it during this season. Our metabolism is slowing down so it is important to eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. It can impact your mood positively.

7. Mindfulness and Relaxation: It is all about slowing down while remaining active. Practices like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing can help reduce stress and improve your emotional state.

8. Vitamin D: Some people find that taking vitamin D supplements helps, especially in areas with long winters and little sunlight.

9. Engage in Hobbies: Focus on activities you enjoy to keep your mind engaged and uplifted. Good examples are like Journaling, making art maybe even learning how to make nails

Winter arc is still in full effect! Let’s not give up and stay focus baddies! We got this babies.

[pucksandpower]

It's ferritin-less girl here. I've been to every specialist my physician has sent me to - gynecologist, gastroenterologist, hematologist, you name it. I don't have celiac disease and my pylori test came back negative.

I know about caffeine, tea and alcohol reducing iron absorption. That's why I take my iron supplements minimum 2 hours after I had them. I also take 1 gram of vitamin C every day for about 2 weeks every month to help with period flow and iron absorption. I also regularly take folic acid.

My periods are normal I'd say. I don't bleed in between, no spotting or anything. Had uterus ultrasound, everything was fine.

Talking about iron from food, I eat meat basically every day. Chicken, turkey, beef, and I usually pair it with some kind of vegetable/salad. On weekends I try to eat fish like salmon, tuna.

My physician suggested to keep taking iron supplements and when I'm done, to just keep tracking iron levels and start taking supplements again when it starts to drop again.

Hi, ferritin-less girl! I appreciate the detailed update. It sounds like you’ve been incredibly thorough, which is great (but also frustrating when there’s no clear answer). Since you’ve ruled out the usual suspects, here are a few less commonly discussed factors that might be worth looking into:

Even if you don’t feel inflamed, low-grade inflammation (from things like chronic stress, sleep deprivation, or even mild gut imbalances) can mess with iron metabolism. Inflammation increases hepcidin, a hormone that blocks iron absorption and traps it in storage.

How’s your sleep and stress? If either is off, managing those could help iron levels stabilize.

Iron metabolism relies on copper and vitamin A to transport and store iron properly. Deficiencies in either can lead to stubbornly low ferritin despite good iron intake.

Copper sources: shellfish, nuts, seeds, organ meats, and dark chocolate.

Vitamin A sources: egg yolks, dairy, liver, and orange/yellow veggies (though animal sources are best for absorption).

Even without celiac or H. pylori, low stomach acid or gut microbiome imbalances can impact iron uptake. If you ever have bloating, indigestion, or feel like food “sits” in your stomach, that could be a clue.

Taking a little lemon juice or apple cider vinegar before meals can help with absorption if stomach acid is low.

Even with normal periods, you’re losing more than just iron. Magnesium, zinc, and B12 all play a role in red blood cell production and iron metabolism. If you haven’t already, it might be worth checking zinc and B12 levels, since deficiencies can make it harder to restore ferritin.

Your physician’s approach makes sense — tracking levels and supplementing as needed is a practical solution. But if you’re looking to get ferritin up and keep it stable without relying on supplements forever, these might be some new angles to explore.

[bookiezzz]

Hiiiiii❗️ May I please request headcanons of Kazuichi, Kaito, and Gonta (danganronpa) taking care of a stressed-out male reader? (Also, I'm BIG, big on physical affection, just putting that out there)

a/n : thanks for the request!! And absolutely no inconvenience at all! I am familiar with dr1 but never finished dr2, nonetheless Dr3. definitely super happy with a Undertale request too. I had a lot of free time today so I will just finish this up now! This was super nice to write and I hope you like it!

Asriel, Papyrus, and Mettaton with a stressed-out male Reader

ASRIEL

ASRIEL is likely to pick up on your stress or burnout

I think he’d be very good at reading people, you most of all

So when he INEVITABLY picks up on your

new behavior or constant tiredness, he will try to come up with a gentle approach to the matter.

He would start holding your hand a little bit more, or hugging you from behind whenever he sees you

An occasional kiss on the cheek<3

At one point, ASRIEL begins with a more direct approach, straight-up asking you if everything’s been okay in regards to tasks, work, school, activities, your schedule in general

No matter your response, ASRIEL will inform you that he’s picked up on your change in behavior and encourages you to rest to the best of your ability

I’m SURE he would also ask you to go somewhere with him if you’re up for it!(meaning eating out, going shopping, an activity you generally enjoy!)

At the end of the day, he just encourages you to do whatever feels right and whatever helps you relax and feel good about yourself,,. he’s so sweet

ASRIEL will end it all off with asking to cuddle, relax, or spend quality time with each other, for some sense of comfort and normality.

He wishes you only the best, and hopes you relax more :(

PAPYRUS

PAPYRUS might take a bit to pick up on

But if your energy or playful manner slowly (or quickly, for that matter) depletes, he will start noticing that something clearly isn’t right with you.

And he doesn’t want to see you upset 🙁

He will come to you, genuinely concerned, and just quietly ask if everything’s okay right now

Or if he knows about the absurd amount of things on your plate and how it is maybe stressing you out, he’ll just ask “So. How’s [blank] going?”

IT MIGHT JUST BE ME but i feel like he would say some silly pick up line while asking and it kinda lightens up the mood jepshshsj??

“So, [Name], everything alright lately? You are seemingly less energetic the last few days. Maybe missing Vitamin… Me?”

followed by a mischevious “nyehehe..”

If you say it’s fine, he will most likely persist in asking until he gets an answer that he’s satisfied with.

If you say that you’re just a bit tired out (naming a specific cause or not), he picks up on that immediately and tries to play it cool. Just asking if anything will help, anything he can do, etc.

PAPYRUS engulfs you in a tight hug for a few seconds!

Hes going to look out for it more

Trying to steal you away from anything he deems as unnecessary, or anything he thinks can wait for later, and tries to spend more time with you

i know he will cook for you too

I think he would encourage you to not stress, take your mind off of it, and let it go!

METTATON

(you get a gif for this one)

I think METTATON would relate in a way, I guess?

I mean he IS pretty fabulous and has a busy, busy schedule

He would notice your behavior and at first, just tell you to take a break

When he realizes that may be impossible for you at the moment, he will share some ways to make the most out of everything, and to save time for yourself

That last bit, oh, that wasn’t an option.

METTATON will BRING you out and you will have a good time

There’s always a good time with METTATON, right ?

He tries as hard as possible to make you forget any problems and tries to relieve your stress

He would take you shopping, out to dinner, partying, or dancing

“Come on, darling! Live a little!”

If you are ever just sitting with him and he sees a worried expression, or that you’re dozing off, he’ll hold your hand or kiss your forehead/lips/cheek/hand (literally anywhere)

METTATON just wants his favorite boy, his darling to feel like himself again

He knows how fabulous you can be and how fabulous you are, and wants you to be happy, with your spark back.

[elisysd]

Never Grow Up

Cruel Summer Masterlist

Lyanna's pregnancy & Julia's birth

Don’t you ever grow up, just stay this little

Lyanna’s pregnancy had to be carefully monitored considering her medical background, something Charles was stressing out about. Whenever he was not around (and feeling guilty about that) he was making sure Lyanna was never alone. And when he was there, he was not leaving her side. Whenever he could, he attended the medical appointments and asking questions after questions to the point that, fed up about Charles, Lyanna’s doctor ended up giving him a list of books that could help him understand everything a bit better.

That’s how, one day of February, as Lyanna was laying on the couch, her laptop on her lap, looking at furniture for the baby room, she heard Charles coming back from running errands, a huge shopping bag with him.

“What are you up to?” she asked him suspiciously.

“I went to the bookstore. I bought the books the doc recommended us. Twice, one for you and one for me.”

Lyanna closed her laptop, stood up and went to him to see how crazy Charles had become. She took a book, flipped the pages before reading the back cover. She did the same, silently, with a few of them before turning to her fiancé.

“You know that most of these say more or less the same thing, you didn’t have to buy all the books from the list.”

“I just want to be prepared.”

“You are Charles. But it’s very thoughtful and cute to see you so invested.”

“I feel guilty to know that the season starts just when you are going to need me the most.”

“Hey, I’m coming with you. At least for the first races, the doc said it was fine for me to take the plane and be with you until the eighth month. You still have three months to enjoy me, all to yourself.”

“Still, I’m not 100% sure it’s a good idea…”

“I’ll be okay. And we have the medical team on tracks so if something happens, I’ll be well taken care of.” she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek as Charles’ hand found its way to her growing belly.

“It’s tomorrow.”

“Excited?”

“I can’t wait to know. I made a bet with Pierre about the gender. He thinks it’s a girl and I told him I was sure it was a boy.”

“Charles Leclerc, how dare you betting on our baby?”

“It’s just… I feel it you know. It’s a baby boy.” he whispered, looking at her in the eyes.

The next morning they were sitting comfortably in the doctor’s waiting room. Charles’s right leg was bouncing as his hands gripped firmly on Lyanna’s. When finally it was time for them, Charles was the first to enter the room to greet the doctor and asked her a few questions about things he had read and needed a few explanations. Lyanna playfully rolled her eyes as she forced Charles to sit down.

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen my fair share of stressed future dads. He is not the first and won’t be the last. How are you feeling, Lyanna.”

“She feels tired but I make sure she eats all the vitamins and take her complements. I bought some that were recommended in your books.”

“Charles, baby, I’m perfectly capable to answer the questions on my own. But yeah, tired but my legs are starting to hurt from time to time. My back too.”

“That’s classic symptoms, nothing weird or that we need to worry about.”

“I heard that the fifth month was critical and most doctors were scared of a premature delivery. How worried should we be?” asked Charles.

“There is no risk zero, obviously, but that’s part of the reason why Lyanna’s pregnancy is so carefully monitored and why I see her more than my usual patients. But for now, she has never given a reason for us to be worried more than necessary.”

“Do you hear the doc, Charles? I’m okay.”

A few minutes later, as the doctor was examining Lyanna, the future parents had their eyes on the small screen of the monitor, trying to guess the gender.

“So, ready?” asked the doctor.

“More than ready.”

“Well, congratulations, you are going to have a little girl!”

Lyanna turned immediately her head to Charles, waiting for his reaction. His eyes were fixed on the screen, trying to process the information.

“A baby girl? We are having a baby girl.”he finally looked at Lyanna with tears in his eyes.

“I hope you are not disappointed, I know how much you wanted a boy.”

“I don’t care Lya, I just want a healthy baby that’s all. I’m happy. Thank you.” he kissed her forehead.

“I didn’t do all the job, alone. You’re 50% responsible.”

“I guess I owe Pierre 150€ now.”

Lyanna’s last months of her pregnancy went relatively well. Charles was away a lot but always tried to FaceTime her whenever he could. He felt guilty to prioritise his career over her but Lyanna insisted it was fine, that she understood and that she was surrounded by people she trusted and loved. She talked a lot to Kat, Max’s girlfriend who gave birth to a boy named Ethan a little over two months ago. Her advice helped Lyanna a lot and she was probably the only person that could understand exactly what Lyanna and Charles were going through.

May and the Monaco Grand Prix arrived quickly and with it a lot of pressure from the outside. Finishing in P2 last year, Charles really wanted to win this time. Lyanna could not attend but promised him to watch him on the balcony’s of his friends flat and it warmed Charles’ heart. As they were eating lunch, the Thursday before Charles had to go on press duties, Lyanna started to pull out a list from the pocket of her midi dress.

“I started to scribble down a few name ideas for the baby.”

Charles took it from her hands and started to look through it.

“I’m not naming my daughter Guinevere.That’s ridiculous.”

“You have Perceval as a middle name, you’re one to talk.”

“Yeah, as a middle name.Neither am I naming her Monza. Where did you get those ideas?”

“You don’t have to sound so condescending! I was trying to find a name with a meaning to us and you, you are just making fun of me!”

She stood up, tears in her eyes. Charles felt immediately guilty. he knew that lately, Lyanna had the tendency to cry about just anything. A cat on the street? Cries. A praise from Charles? cries. Her favourite food out of stock in the supermarket? Cries. Charles knew and was usually careful about what he was saying around her.

“Love, I’m sorrry, I didn’t mean to sound like that and make you sad. You have wonderful ideas but admit it, these names are not it.”

“I’m just scared we won’t find something that fits her, you know. I want her to be proud of her name.”

“I promise you, we will find the perfect name.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

The last few weeks that started to take a toll on her as she couldn’t do anything and was forced to rely on people, which she hated. We were almost mid-June and she was supposed to give birth anytime now. Charles was supposed to leave for the Canadian Grand Prix and wasn’t comfortable with letting Lya alone. She could go into labour at any time now. She refused to admit it but Lya was also scared to see him leave. but he was ahead in the championship leader board and she didn’t want to ask him to stay with her. A day before leaving, Charles spent hours on the phone with his team and ended up making the decision to not race.

And it was the right decision as the late Saturday evening, Lyanna’s water broke. Charles never drove that fast in his life (and that meant something). Lyanna’s delivery were not as smooth as her pregnancy. Nothing had ever hurt as much in her life, to the point that nothing seemed to make the pain go away. She was crying from the pain and it hurt Charles to know that there was nothing he could do. He refused to leave her side, trying to do what he could to distract her but it was pointless.

When the doctor finally arrived, to check how the baby was presenting herself, Charles’ felt like his wolrd was about to collapse.

“A natural delivery is too risky for Lyanna. I would recommend a c-section.”

“What are the risks if I refuse?”

“Lyanna..”

“I want to know, Charles.”

“Life threatening for you and the baby.” told her the doctor.

“That’s it. We are doing it. I’m not arguing with you about that Lya.”

Charles looked at her with pleading eyes and exhausted, Lyanna agreed. A few hours later, baby cries could be heard inside the delivery room. Both Lyanna and Charles were crying from joy and exhaustion.

“A perfectly healthy and beautiful baby girl. I’m giving you privacy.” announced the nurse, giving the newborn to Lyanna.

“Julia.” Whispered Lyanna.

“Julia?” repeated Charles.

“What do you think? As a name? We wanted something meaningful.”

“You want to name her after Jules? Are you sure?”

“Entirely. It fits her, don’t you think?”

Charles looked at his daughter a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Welcome in our family, my Julia. I’m your daddy and I promise that I will do my best to never fail you.”

Charles came out from the delivery room, tears falling of his cheeks. His family was waiting impatiently as Pascale was on the phone with Lyanna’s mom. Everyone stopped when they saw Charles standing in front of the door, exhausted but happy.

“I’m so happy to announce you that Lyanna and I are the parents of a little Julia Rose Renée Pascale Leclerc, born the 16th of June 2025.”

==========

author's note: First bonus chapter out!!! Just a sweet and fluffy one to begin with Julia's birth. Let me know your thoughts!

taglist: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals @aundercover @ruleroftheuniverse @fangirlika @writerscurse @elijahmikaelsonbitch @leclerc13 @karmabyfernando @stargaryenx @pitlanebabe @boiohboii @reengard @shikshinkwon

[caffstrink]

do you have any tips on how to live off as artist professionally?

First of all art isn't always a viable option depending where you live. The only reason ive been able to live off art is because the american dollar is worth 5x more than the brazilian real so even if i didn't get many comms i could still get by with the few i had. and if that wasn't the case I'd pretty much be eating breadcrumbs off the floor like a pigeon.

1. Whore yourself out and draw fanart of every popular or trending thing to gather attention to youe art

2. Learn your platforms: learn how each websites algorithm works, learn what are the best hours to post, etc

3. I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your niche

4. Everyone is fake no one wants to be your friend, other popular artists will start following you the moment your following becomes good enough. They'll start to interact with you too and want to become mutuals in order to share followings/traction. If you can play into that you can get them to share your stuff as well, but honestly don't fall for it bc most of them shittalk other artists on their privs or personal servers and the stress isnt worth it

5. Draw nsfw if possible/if you're comfortable with. People who commission porn pay well and they often have very few options when commissioning stuff bc most artists don't accept porn commissions.

6. Accept being an artist is a hard job that doesn't pay really well. If you're freelancing on comms life's always going to be a tightrope, so i suggest trying to do professional work once in a while so you can at least have the security of a salary. Draw backgrounds, gestures, scenes, studies, and the likes, bc those are what companies will want in your portfolio

7. Depending where you live it's extremely hard to live off as an artist, and being an artist is often means a very difficult struggle with finances. It's a job that requires passion, and more often than not turning art in a job causes creative burnout and complete loss of spark for it. Ask yourself: why do you want to be a professional artist? Isn't it better to keep it as a hobby? Maybe a side gig if you need money? You can still pursue art even if you don't do it to earn money, and it doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's a difficult job, and you need to understand its not going to be viable at all times and sometimes you'll have to throw in the towel and do something else to survive and there's 0 shame in that.

8. Be professional and courteous with your clients. Don't be a doormat, but don't go around ghosting people or being passive aggressive or taking them for granted and never deliver any product. Doing art for money is a JOB. Treat it like such. Inform your clients about delays, or any issues that may come up.

9. Take care of yourself and by that i mean eat decent food, exercise your arms, get 8 hours of sleep and get some sun (or take vitamin D periodically if youre a basement dweller). This isn't some self care uwu shit, it's actual science that your body is a machine and not providing what it needs to function leads to issues, and some of those issues include affecting your mental health, and mental health issues include and are not limited to: anxiety, depression, burnout, loneliness, feeling like your art sucks, feeling unmotivated, feeling like you're a failure, etc. Same with physical: for the love of GOD you DON'T want wrist issues. You dont want carpal or ulnar nerve entrapment. Don't draw 24/7. Don't push yourself either. If youre feeling shitty its time to STOP. Just picture a shitty graphics card trying to run minecraft with 5 shaders and 10 mods at once on fullscreen with 60 fps. Thats you. Youre the graphics card

10. Don't be a bitch, don't get involved with drama. Can't be an internet artist if you get cancelled so don't try to start shit at any point in time. Don't be a shit person.

And from the top of my head thats it, hope you like eating plain bread 🍞

[liftingdown]

(tw, binge eating)

thing I lfted that have surprisingly helped me stop binge eating (and why)

artificially sweetened water flavored ( I found when I want to eat my feelings, what Is dopamine boast that comes eating, and so artificial sweeters are way better at that, because they are like 200 times more sweet, take less time to make, and have endless novel flavors. this category has everything from powders, to those little bottles, to sugar free syrups, to even things like diet sodas and tea. basically every time I go to the store I find something new, and they are usually very small and easy to steal)

human chew toys (I have the puppy instinct where chewing on stuff makes me happy, there a lot of cool little silicon things for that purpose that work great)

nice tea, like genuinely fancy tea and tea supplies, (I get to have a nice little tea ritual that feels like a treat to myself when I feel I deserve a treat. I have an nice little tray, and mug, and tea myself to it. pairs well with rewatching tv shows and fuzzy blankets)

fuzzy blanket (happy and content time that makes it feel very dumb to go to the kitchen when here is so soft. also see weighted blankets, and heating pads)

the power of habits book (technically I pirated the eBook, but dear god this is an eye opening book, also the authors website straight up give you a work book that legit changed my life. like none of this would have worked without reading the book first)

fitbit ( ok, so the reason this worked is not the reason you would think. basically I notice that every time I had the urge to binge, I would check, and my heart rate would be like 15-20 beats above normal, and realizing that made it a lot easier to tell I was stressing myself out and in my own head. it also made it a lot easier to go do a breathing exercise go for a walk or something before binge eating my feeling away. I'm still not perfect, but it brought be a lot of awareness)

bath/shower stuff ( if I'm really struggling, I usually try to take a shower or bath first because you can't binge eat in the shower. and having bath bombs, face masks, shower oil, nice soap, and other various goop makes it more fun and enjoyable. also, I have on occasional taken more then one hot shower a day, which dried the fuck out of my skin, so moisturizer is very important.

cleaning supplies (I don't understand it, but having a fully clean, vacuumed, wiped down, and polished house makes me feel like I have my shit together and can do anything )

vitamins (specifically vitamin d, your boy has got seasonal depression)

overall, I think the thing that help the most was having nice things I enjoyed doing that scratched the urges of binging without being nearly as unhealthy, and buying time for my brain to catch up to my habits and remember that eating all the food in my kitchen will not fix my problem and causes several new ones.

[protege-not-protagonist]

Finally getting around to mailing this letter

Dear Reid,

As you are a guy who never or rarely sleeps, I would love to know your morning routine. Do you have one or just accept the fate that it’s morning and carry on?

- <3 a concerned “normal” fan

Hello dear Bridgeoverstrawberryfields,

Firstly, I am delighted to have a "Normal" fan. Usually I am a firm believer in the notion that no one is normal, but I understand that you are saying it with the intention of distinguishing yourself from "fans" I've had in the past. The declaration is much appreaciated. Especially considering that you are asking about my routine. Which, as you probably know, being a fan of mine: showing interest in another person's routine can be associated with stalking. But you seem genuinely interested and concerned for my well being, so I will reassure you that I am doing well.

You seem concerned that I am not getting enough sleep and I can understand why you may think that. As you may know, my sleep is heavily affected when I experience high levels of stress and emotional distress. Even on a good day I would never call myself a morning person, but the type of insomnia I experience (Acute Maintenance Insomnia, if you like specifics,) means I don't find much relief in staying asleep longer. Sometimes I'd rather face the day.

But I am happy to report I do experience that less of late. It is actually rare that I don't sleep. I prioritise it, because of my predispositions to certain neurological conditions. Repeat lack of sleep puts me at a higher risk of developing these. But also sleep is essential for brain function, and I in particular, need my brain to be at its best. Believe it or not, studies have shown it is actually just as bad to drive drunk as it is to drive tired. Not that you should do either. I am just using that to support my point, that it is important to me. I am dedicated to my sleep hygiene and I try my best to get the recommend 8 to 7 hours. But this was not always the case.

Also to add to that, I really prefer to stick to routines. I actually admire people who can just be spontaneous with their mornings and can adapt to each day as it comes. But for me, trying to keep things consistent feels more comfortable. With my job back at the BAU sometimes I couldn't stick to my routine, or now, sometimes I just have off days. These are days that as you so eloquently put, I have to accept fate that's is morning and carry on, incorporating as many elements of my ideal morning routine as I can.

So without further preamble, here is my 'ideal' Morning routine:

Wake up before 7 am, preferably (more like rarely,) at 6:00 am, but I will admit this is harder to do in winter.

Light stretch, this has been proven to help wake up the body, but also help the brain to forget any bad dreams had during the night by engaging it in movement rather than retention and filing of memory

I like to get changed into clothes before breakfast. Again, the change of clothes further helps the brain by signalling that sleep is over because the sleep clothes are off and the day wear clothes are on. Also this is when I put on my socks. I choose them randomly. I think of my socks draw as a daily lucky dip.

I brew my coffee. I did go through a stage of trying to limit my caffeine intake and drink herbal teas, but benefits of not having caffeine were outweighed by the discomfort and utter misery not having a morning cup. And actually there's plenty of benefits to having 1 or 2 cups a day. Sometimes I do have tea, but only if Garcia makes it. I don't know, what she does that I don't, but I can certainly taste it.

I make a light breakfast, this is usually toast or a plain cereal. I'm not much of a breakfast person unless I am eating out with friends, ( I will have pancakes if that's the case.)

I also grab a glass of water to have along with my breakfast and coffee. This keeps me hydrated (because I forget to drink water, a lot.) and helps me take my vitamins as well.

I take supplements proven to be beneficial to people like me. I take magnesium, vitamin B12, vitamin D3, Omega 3, Vitamin C, Echenasia and probiotics (which I know I could get naturally but I hate the mouth feel of yoghurt )

With my coffee, breakfast, water and supplements, I will sit at the table and eat while reading about 4 physical newspapers and then I try to complete the crosswords. People think I'm good at them, but I'm actually not too proficient at it. Although I most likely know the answers in my vocabulary, it takes me a while to get my head around the wording of the clues, they are often quite vague, so I like the challenge.

Afterwards, I wash up and then go back to my room and make my bed then brush my teeth. I use this time as a sort of quiet reflection and run though what I've got to do that day. This is also when I look in the mirror and decide whether or not I should attempt to style my hair. These days I am usually happy how it is.

Before I leave for the day, I do last minute errands like check my fridge and shopping list, if it is an even day, I will water my plants that Garcia gifted me. If it is the end of the week, I will check that the automatic feeder for my fish tank is full so my tetras won't be left to starve if I get called away suddenly.

So there you go, very mundane. But I find being able to do this provides me with a sense of order and domesticity to my life that I didn't always get to enjoy.

-Sincerely yours, Dr Reid

Taglist: @bridgeoverstrawberryfields @cultish-corner @pleasantwitchgarden

Sorry for that being super long but if we are honest Spencer would absolutely write a response this long. As I was writing, he just kept wanting to say more. I let him cook.

[hygieiahub]

Spooky Self-Care

It’s that time of year again—Halloween, when everything gets a little spooky and a lot more fun. But while ghosts and goblins might be lurking around every corner, there’s something scarier that we all face from time to time: burnout and stress. High school can feel like a haunted house, filled with deadlines, exams, and social pressures that can seriously drain your energy.

But fear not! Instead of letting the stress of school and life creep up on you, this Halloween, it’s time to practice some spooky self-care. 🎃 Self-care doesn’t have to be boring or time-consuming—it can be fun, festive, and even Halloween-themed! So grab your favorite cozy blanket and some candy corn, because we’re about to dive into how you can treat yourself right this spooky season.

1. Pumpkin-Spiced Self-Care

Who doesn’t love a little pumpkin spice this time of year? You’ve seen it in lattes, cookies, and even candles. But did you know you can turn that fall flavor into a relaxing self-care routine?

Pumpkin-spiced skincare is a real thing! You can find pumpkin-scented face masks or even DIY one at home using pumpkin puree, honey, and cinnamon. Pumpkins are packed with vitamins A and C, which are great for your skin. So while everyone’s carving their jack-o’-lanterns, you can carve out some time for yourself and treat your skin to a festive spa night. 🧖‍♀️

2. Watch Feel-Good, Not Feel-Fright Movies

Sure, horror movies are all the rage during Halloween, but sometimes watching something too spooky can mess with your mental health, especially if you’re already feeling stressed or anxious. So instead of turning to the usual jump-scare flicks, why not opt for feel-good Halloween classics? Movies like Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, or Casper are just spooky enough to get you into the Halloween spirit, but without leaving you feeling like you need to sleep with the lights on.

Laughter and light-hearted fun can be a great way to unwind after a tough day of school or when you're feeling overwhelmed by all the homework monsters chasing you. 🎬

3. Candy Corn and Chill: Indulge in Sweet Treats

Halloween is the perfect excuse to indulge your sweet tooth! While balance is always important, allowing yourself to enjoy some festive treats can be a simple form of self-care. Bake some Halloween-themed cookies, make caramel apples, or create your own hot chocolate bar with spooky marshmallows and sprinkles.

Food can be comforting, but it’s important to eat mindfully—focus on how it makes you feel, and enjoy the experience rather than just munching through a bag of candy in one sitting. Treating yourself to something sweet is a fun way to show yourself a little love (just be careful not to overdo it, or you might feel like a zombie later!). 🍬

4. Ghosting Stress: Halloween-Themed Journaling

Journaling is one of the best ways to clear out the cobwebs in your mind and process your feelings. For a spooky twist, try a Halloween-themed journaling session. Write about your favorite Halloween memories, or even create your own spooky stories. You could also list the things that “haunt” you—like stress, anxiety, or fears—and then write about how you plan to overcome them.

Seeing your thoughts on paper can make them less intimidating, like unmasking a ghost in a Scooby-Doo episode. Journaling can help you manage your mental health by giving you a space to vent, reflect, and work through your emotions. 📝

5. Cozy Up with Some Witchy Vibes

There’s nothing better than snuggling up on a chilly October night with some candles, a comfy blanket, and maybe a cup of tea (or a pumpkin spice latte!). Setting up a cozy atmosphere can be a great way to practice self-care. Try lighting fall-scented candles, like cinnamon or apple, and curling up with a good book or just listening to some relaxing music.

Taking a break from the digital world and getting lost in a good book or calming playlist can do wonders for your mental health. It’s all about slowing down and creating a peaceful environment where you can recharge your “magic.” ✨

6. Beware of Burnout: Take a Breather

Halloween parties, school events, and hanging out with friends can be a lot of fun—but if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a step back. You don’t need to be everywhere at once, like a Halloween ghost popping in and out of different parties. Sometimes, the best self-care is simply saying “no” to an invitation and recharging your social battery.

Whether it’s staying in for a quiet night or just taking a break from your usual routine, know that it’s okay to prioritize yourself and your mental health. You don’t need to wear a mask (literal or metaphorical) to impress anyone. 🎭

7. Get Moving with Some Monster Mash

Exercise is a great way to release tension, boost your mood, and shake off stress, but it doesn’t have to be boring. Turn your workout into a Halloween dance party by blasting some spooky hits like “Monster Mash,” “Thriller,” or “Ghostbusters.” Dance like no one’s watching, or try out a Halloween-themed yoga flow (yes, you can find videos for “witchy yoga” online!).

Moving your body helps release endorphins, also known as the “feel-good” chemicals in your brain, which can lift your spirits and leave you feeling more energized. So grab your broomstick, put on your best Halloween playlist, and get moving! 💃

8. Embrace the Dark (But in a Good Way)

While some people fear the dark, there’s something calming about embracing a bit of darkness during Halloween. Dim the lights, light some candles, and practice deep breathing or meditation. Darkness can be soothing and allow you to focus inward, helping you relax and tune out the external world for a bit.

Even 10 minutes of mindfulness or meditation can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you’re feeling like life is as chaotic as a haunted house. Find a quiet corner, let the darkness wrap around you like a cozy blanket, and take a moment to just breathe.

Self-Care Isn’t Scary 👻

Halloween doesn’t have to be all about scares and spooks—it can also be a time to focus on taking care of yourself. Whether you’re pampering yourself with pumpkin-spiced skincare, indulging in your favorite Halloween treats, or dancing to the “Monster Mash,” self-care can be a fun and festive way to boost your mental health.

Just remember: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a way to recharge your mind, body, and soul so that you can face whatever challenges come your way. So this Halloween, treat yourself to some spooky self-care, and let your inner witch or wizard shine!

Happy Halloween, and don’t forget to take care of yourself—no tricks, all treats! 🎃💀

-hygieia's saint