#is it even a microfic anymore

[boba-pearl-writes]

August 9th - jumper - 1195 words - T - @rosekillermicrofic

Evan liked to keep little pieces of his friends.

A small bracelet from Pandora she’d only half finished and never worn. A broken ring that Reg had just never bothered to mend. A muggle watch from Cas that had stopped working.

It wasn’t like he really needed these things. He just liked to remind himself they were there.

He didn’t have many things from Barty, which he found quite strange. For a really chaotic person, it was rather strange that he wasn’t as forgetful or left out his stuff as much as the others.

After they started dating, he started to find this more and more annoying.

He would always search around the common room for any stuff his friends might have left behind. He usually went to bed a bit later than them on some days, just for that. 

As a child, he would actively steal from other people, especially his parents. Not very big things, but still, they’d never appreciate that very much when they noticed. So he learned to be quiet and good in front of them - and then look around after dark just to stop that itching in him to keep some part of them.

Just to remind himself that they were there.

It was one day like this that he found that Barty had left his quill on the desk he was working on. He immediately wanted to pocket it because it was Barty’s and he wanted to look at it and inspect it and maybe see if he’d left his fingerprints - everything about Barty was fascinating to him. But, before he did, he checked to see if it was expensive or something Barty would miss.

It seemed to just be a regular quill, one Barty had said he’d had for a year or two, so Evan didn’t feel too bad about taking it. He pocketed it and, before he slid under his covers where Barty had somehow already fallen asleep, he made sure to put it in the box he stored everything he took in.

A few days after that, he noticed that Barty had left something else. This time it was the back off of one of his earrings. 

The next day, Barty mentioned that he wanted a new beanie, since he’d lost his old one.

Just two days later, there was a beanie. This one, Evan was a bit more hesitant to take. What if Barty wanted it back? He didn’t want to take something that might be of use to someone.

He wasn’t a thief.

He picked up the beanie, and resolved to buy a new one for Barty when they went to Hogsmeade. 

He had to wait a week for the next Hogsmeade visit, and by then the weather was so sodding drafty. Right when he stepped outside the somehow always warm interior of the castle, a gust of freezing cold wind blew against his face. And he’d forgotten his sodding jumper.

Barty, the one who he was going to buy winter clothes for, hummed as he stepped in time with the beat, the height difference forcing Evan to quicken his steps just slightly. The worst thing was, Barty looked completely unaffected by the cold weather.

Probably because he’d remembered his jumper.

So they walked along the streets of Hogsmeade. At some point, Barty’s hand had found its way into Evan’s and they walked, hand in hand, down the street. As cold as it was, Evan felt his heart warm. After so long yearning for his best friend, it felt like a dream for him to be Evan’s.

The shop wasn’t too hard to find, and Evan wouldn’t forget the look on his boyfriend’s face as he handed him the beanie. Evan had pulled him into the shop on impulse after seeing a beanie in the window that would look so good on Barty.

It did.

Oh, did it ever. All bundled up in his knitted winter wear, Barty looked like an angel, with the tips of his dyed- green hair poking out of the black beanie. The jumper fit on him perfectly, the green of it complementing his eyes. Evan wasn’t sure when he’d become such a sucker for clothes and style, but he couldn’t - and wouldn’t - deny that Barty looked heavenly. He pressed a soft, close mouthed kiss to his lips and, before Barty could react, dragged him out of the store, back onto the street.

They fell into step with each other once more, hands swinging between them- and Evan was once more reminded of the obscenely cold weather outside. He tried to stop his shivering but honestly, the sodding English weather made it so hard. He wasn’t surprised when he turned his head and saw Barty observing him, head cocked, in that uncanny way of his, that felt almost like you were being scrutinized. Evan loved it.

After a moment of what looked like deliberation on Barty’s part, he took off his jumper and thrust it at Evan. Evan protested that he didn’t really need it, but Barty silenced him with a pointed look, and Evan realized there probably was some truth to his thinking.

And so Evan ended up with Barty’s jumper, almost nesting into it with relief at the warmth. Technically, he knew they could’ve just cast a spell. And Barty did, which seemed a bit counterintuitive, but Evan could care less; wearing Barty’s jumper felt like being in his arms- warm, comforted, safe.

After he’d put it on, Barty looked him over in a way which made his cheeks heat up. Then, he smirked.

“You can keep that one, too, if you want.”

At this, Evan glanced up at Barty, processing his words. They clicked a millisecond later.

“How did you…? You know?”

“Yeah,” Barty said, smiling at him in a way that would’ve made Evan melt inside if it weren’t for the current conversation they were having. “It really wasn’t that hard to figure out.” Evan furrowed his brow, thinking.

“You don’t hate me?”

Now it was Barty’s turn to frown. “Why would I hate you? I mean, I get it.”

“You do?”

“You want to feel closer to people… yeah, I really do get it.”

“And… you’re not freaked out?” At this Barty smiled, mildly too sharp teeth showing, almost unnerving. Evan hesitantly smiled back, close lipped and tentative.

“I would do anything for you, Ev. I would kill for you.” A hand on his shoulder. “I would die for you, Rosie.” A hand on his waist.

Barty leaned closer to him and Evan’s heart raced as he gripped Barty’s shirt. However long they had been together, this never got old.

“Let’s hope you don’t have to.” Barty’s laugh tickled his cheek

Barty leaned in for a kiss but missed, his lips landing on the corner of Evan’s mouth. He went in again for Evan’s cheek. Evan huffed out a breath, realizing what he was doing. 

“You tease.”

He yanked Barty closer to him by his shirt.

Yeah, Evan liked to collect parts of his friends. But having them, knowing them, whole? Especially Barty?

Barty was like a drug he was addicted to.

He was everything.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 31 - Lock

@jegulus-microfic January 31 Word count 1755

This is it folks. I'm quite emotional. I really hope you all like it.

For my biggest fans @weirdtinkerbellversion @thedvilsinthedetails and @beautyoftheships I love you guys.

Previous part First part

All he could hear was white noise. His brain couldn’t process James’s words. His eyes found the bottle of wine, and he automatically poured himself a glass and downed it. 

He grasped the edge of the counter with both hands and felt his body shake. 

James remained silent, not wanting to push him. 

Regulus bit back tears and turned around, putting his protective mask in place, leaving his face devoid of emotion. 

“So that’s it for us then?” He stared at James with dead eyes, his voice a bored monotone. It made James shiver.

“I don’t want it to be.” Tears dripped down his face. “Reg,” He croaked. “I love you. I want to be with you. Lily told me this life-changing news,” He looked at his watch. “Four hours ago.”

“So, you didn’t know anything while I was arranging my return to England?” He sounded cold and accusing. He tried not to care. James shook his head. 

“No, Reg. I swear. I’ve only just found out.” James looked at him, features full of heartbreak. “You’re the first person I’ve told. Not even Sirius knows.” This shocked Regulus almost as much as finding out James was going to be a father. 

He smelt burning. He spun around and pulled the ruined dinner out of the oven. He threw it on the side and bit down on his lip.��

“James, I need you to go. Please.” His mask had slipped. It would be only moments before he broke down. 

“Reg—“

“Please, James. I need to figure out if this is the life I want. Kids were never my plan, and now…” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence, so he let it sit. 

“I’m so sorry, Reg. Nothing ever seems to go right for us. Does it? I really hope that changes.” His voice was thick as he continued. “Please remember whatever you choose, I will always love you.” With that, James left. The door hadn’t even banged shut before Regulus was sobbing. 

———————————————————————————

James’s chest hurt. What should have been a hopefully pleasant evening had turned into yet another nightmare. He looked up at the skies and called out to whoever might be listening.

“Could whoever is writing our story please give us a break?!” When he got no answer, he walked back to his empty house. Even Leo had gone out.       

His phone buzzed. 

‘Hey. Reggie just texted me and said you’d gone home already. Take it it didn’t go well then? Wanna meet for lunch tomorrow? Usual place?

Love ya

xxx’

He sent back a quick, ‘Yeah, sounds good to me. See you at noon x.’ He decided the best thing was to go to bed and deal with everything in the morning. 

***

James heard the sound of thundering boots coming up fast behind him. He began to turn, but before he could see what was happening. There was an almighty thud. He looked down at the pavement and sprawled across it. Hair in a wild mess was Sirius. 

“Trip over your laces again?” James said flatly. 

“Yup.” A muffled reply came from the heap on the floor. James snorted loudly as he bent to pick his friend up. 

Miraculously, Sirius had gotten away with only a slight graze on his cheek. 

“Is it true? Am I going to be an Uncle!” He shook James vigorously in his excitement. 

“I suppose so, I guess,” James said as he tried to escape Sirius's grasp.

“I’m godfather!” He burst out, bouncing up and down. 

“Sirius, we’re not even religious.” 

“Fine, fairy godfather, whatever. Either way, I bagsy it.” James sighed and clapped him on the back.

“You got it, you absolute crazy man.” He bent down and tied Sirius’s laces for him. 

“Awww, you’re gonna be such a good dad.” He gushed as he wiggled his foot, checking out his shoelaces.

“Come on then, let’s go get lunch. I had some amazing news to tell you.” James chuckled as he threw his arm around Sirius’s shoulder and continued down the street to the little cafe on the corner. 

Sirius didn’t stop babbling about all the baby things he’d googled and spouted off so much information that James felt his chest tightening in panic.

“I think he just needs time, you know.” 

“Hmm, what?” James had completely zoned out, picking his sandwich to pieces.

“I said, he just needs time. It’s a lot. But I really hope he picks you, mate.” Sirius said, taking James’s hands away from his decimated sandwich and squeezing them gently. He didn’t want to get his hopes up again, but he didn’t fight very hard.      

***

He was painting when the door went. He nearly fell off the ladder as he hurried downstairs to answer it. He was covered in paint, so he tried to touch as few things as possible. 

He yanked the door open, slightly red-faced, and lost all his breath when he saw Regulus standing there. 

“Hi,” 

“Hi,” 

“I’ve made my decision.” Regulus blurted out, not waiting to be invited in. James felt his mouth go dry.

“And?” His tongue was like sandpaper. He couldn’t take the suspense.

“I’m in,” Regulus said confidently. “Nappies, late night feedings, helping them plot their revenge on the school bully. All of it. I’m in.” Without warning, James flung himself at Regulus. He gathered him up into his arms and spun him around. He was bursting with joy. 

He suddenly dropped him and ran into his office. He rooted around in a draw and rushed back to Regulus, who was still waiting at the front door. 

“I got you something.” He held out the small box.

“What the fuck! James! Are you proposing?” Regulus’s eyebrows disappeared into the curls that hung over his forehead. James’s eyes widened.

“NO! No, No,” He opened the box. “It’s just a key!” 

“Oh,” Regulus sounded disappointed. James made a mental note to put a pin in that for later. 

“And what lock does this open, James? Your heart?” A playful smirk settled on Regulus’s mouth. 

“It’s a key to the house. So you don’t have to knock any more, you can come and go as you please. And—” He took a deep breath. He’d been preparing for this. “And if you’d like to—No pressure, by the way—But if you’d like to, I’d love it if you moved in with me.” Regulus took the silver-coloured key from the box and held it in his hand, staring at it, flipping it over in his palm. He looked up at James, a sweet, shy smile on his lips. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“Okay, I’ll move in with you. Being away, I forgot how obnoxious Sirius is. I’ve had to buy earplugs to block out his nighttime noises.” He pulled a face, gagging slightly. James grabbed him in his arms again and lifted him into the air. 

“I love you,” He whispered across Regulus’s lips before closing the gap. 

Only when he set a breathless Regulus back on his feet did he remember he was covered in paint. He looked in horror at the cream-coloured paint splattered all over Regulus’s black coat. Regulus looked down as well. 

“Is that paint?” His eyebrow shot up as he questioned James. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was painting the room that’s going to be the nursery. Er, put your coat in the wash, and you can borrow one of mine. I’ll just go get changed.” He ushered Regulus inside and shut the door. Being very careful not to touch him again.

Regulus shrugged off his coat. 

“Did you get it finished.? He asked matter of factly. 

“Er, no, I didn’t. I barely even started. Only done about half a wall.” Regulus pulled his jumper off and started up the stairs. James chased after him and into his bedroom. But Regulus wasn’t there. “Reg?” He called out as he tried and failed to figure out where he’d gone. 

“I’m in the baby’s room. Where are you?” Regulus called back. James hurried out of the bedroom. Clearly, he’d gotten the wrong idea. 

Regulus, roller in hand, was making a start on the wall that James had started. He’d already accomplished more than he had and didn’t have a lick of paint on him. James leaned against the door frame, watching the man he hoped to spend the rest of his life with painting his unborn child’s room. 

He didn’t think there were enough words in the world to describe how much he loved him.     

———————————————————————————

Nine months later

“James, he’s beautiful.” Regulus hadn’t expected to feel this way when meeting baby Harry for the first time. The tiny raven-haired boy slept soundly in James’s arms. James grinned the biggest grin Regulus had ever seen on his face. He turned to Lily. “He’s amazing, Lily. How are you doing?” She looked exhausted, but she still had a smile for him and a cheeky wink. 

“You know me. Cup of coffee, and I’ll be right back up.”

“Do you want to hold him?” James asked him as he slowly rocked the baby to and fro. 

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Regulus said quietly. His palms felt sweaty as he looked nervously at the tiny, delicate bundle that was nestled in James’s arms. 

“You’ll be fine. Here.” James stood and awkwardly transferred Harry into Regulus’s arms. 

He looked again at the tiny baby and felt a protective love surge through his body. 

Harry fussed in his arms, and he instinctively began to sway. Harry opened his little mouth in a perfect O and settled back down. He was so in love. 

There was a quiet tap at the hospital door, and Sirius’s face popped around it. 

“Can we come in yet?” He whined. James nodded.

“Yeah, of course you can.” 

Sirius rushed in, followed more slowly by Remus. They crowded around Regulus so they could get a good look at the baby. 

“Look, Sirius,” Regulus said, pulling his gaze away from Harry to look at his brother. “Isn’t he perfect?” Sirius wrapped an arm around him.

“Yeah, Reggie, he is. Now give me a turn!” Reluctantly, Regulus handed him over and went to stand next to James. James pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around him as they watched Sirius and Remus quietly argue over how long Sirius got to hold him before it was Remus’s turn. Lily had fallen asleep. She was exhausted after the long labour. It was peaceful. 

James leant his chin on Regulus’s shoulder and whispered in his ear.

“How you doing, Papa?” Regulus’s heart melted.    

[ultravioletbrit]

“new” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 234 words

 

Regulus is making tea in the kitchen in the flat he shares with Sirius when James walks in and casually leans against the counter.  

“You want some?” Regulus asks him.

“Sure… So, I was thinking---” James starts.

“That’s new for you.” Regulus smiles at him.

“Ha ha. I was thinking maybe you and I could hang out this weekend.” James says.

“We hang out all the time.” Regulus states simply as he moves to the cabinets to get some mugs down.

“Right… yeah… but I was thinking maybe we could hang out alone… together… you and me… together, alone… hanging out… together.” James rambles.

Regulus pauses as he’s trying to reach the mugs on the top shelf, he swears Sirius puts them just out of Regulus’ reach on purpose. He slowly turns around to see James against the counter, not so casually anymore with his eyes squeezed shut.

“Are you asking me out, Potter?” Regulus says with a smirk.

“I’m trying really hard.” James replies with his eyes still closed.

Regulus walks over to him and gives him a small chaste kiss on the cheek.

“I’d love to hang out alone, together with you.” Regulus says nonchalantly, quickly turning back to the tea so James doesn’t see his blush or his smile. He can tell James is smiling also without even looking at him.

“Stop smiling like an idiot and get the damn mugs down.”

[my-castles-crumbling]

Date - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 192

He wasn’t sure what made him say it. Those exact words, that is. It wasn’t even that he hated Potter anymore. It was just…well, at this point it was more stubbornness than anything else, wasn’t it?

But when Potter asked him to Hogsmeade and he replied, “The day I go on a date with you is the day Dumbledore dances across the Great Hall while wearing a top hat and singing the national anthem,” he’d meant to just tell Potter to fuck off.

But Potter was stubborn, too.

So the next day, when Albus Dumbledore stood in front of the entire school and cleared his throat, Regulus felt a sinking in his stomach. Because fuck, he shouldn’t have underestimated James Potter.

“I dedicate this performance to young love,” Dumbledore announced, smiling, before launching into an admittedly not-horrible rendition of the anthem, spinning a bit and almost knocking his top hat off his head.

And after the entire school burst into applause, Potter wasted no time sauntering over to Regulus and asking smugly, “Saturday at noon, then?”

And Regulus could only admit to himself that he wasn’t even mad.

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@jegulus-microfic june 5th — more — 1108words — cw: reg has some pretty explicit dirty fantasies for a moment or two for @honeybcj and all the other james dad bod enjoyers out there<3

Regulus is sitting in his lifeguard chair, eyes trained on the long pool where people are swimming their laps. Nevermind he isn’t even on shift. Over the last few weeks Regulus has signed himself up for more shifts than ever, much to the surprise of their staff manager. Pandora too. They’ve stocked up on sunscreen and went shopping for new cute swimwear and then devoted their last college summer to spending every minute in the presence of piss covered ground, soggy fries and chlorine smelling air.

All for the sole purpose of making eyes at a beautiful couple and their toddler half the day. Or, not-couple, as Pandora has found out in passing, much to both their delight. The parents of little Harry are divorced, or not together anymore, but they still seem to get along well enough, regularly meeting up to come here and spend their days in the water. Lily, a gorgeous redhead with bright eyes and a sweet smile that occasionally makes Pandora squirm in her place and redden in the cheeks more fiercely than any sunburn. 

And then there’s James. Tall, dark haired, in his mid to end twenties, always grinning, tanned, insanely sexy and funny James. 

The sun is already low now and Lily and Harry have already gone home. On the days James doesn’t take the toddler home with him, he often stays a little longer to get some swimming in. Or just to take a nap on one of the chairs, molten popsicle dripping down and into the hairs on his stomach. His belly rising and falling in regular intervals, full lips parted, dark mob of hair a downright mess and the legs of his bathing shorts hiked so far up it should be forbidden.

The white fabric of it is drenched when James heaves himself out of the pool and shakes out his sopping hair.

Regulus’ eyes follow greedily as the older man picks up his towel and dries himself off. James rummages for his water bottle and then tips his head back and gulps. His throat is bobbing and he’s so overly enthusiastic with it that something dribbles out at the sides and along his neck. Regulus feels himself stir in his own swim shorts and he absently gnaws on his lower lip.

He has already perfectly well resigned himself to the fact that he will be an admirer from afar because how do you even walk up to a young dad and tell him you’d very much like to find out just how much of a daddy he is without overstepping multiple boundaries.

That is before Regulus gets pulled from his perverse thoughts of getting fucked deep into the mattress and stubble burn on his jaw and licking over a nipple circled by chest hair when suddenly said object of his fantasies is walking up to him, eyes squinting against the sun.

He comes to a stop in front of Regulus’ high stool and wraps his hand around the ladder railing next to Regulus’ leg, his shoulder muscle bunching deliciously. 

Regulus’ brain is currently projecting an Error404.

“Hi, sorry for disturbing you,” James says with a warm smile. To Regulus. The hot dad is talking to Regulus. “You can totally say No I was just thinking I should reapply,” he waves the bottle of sunscreen in his big hand, “and I need someone to get my back.”

Regulus just gawks, unable to form a coherent thought. There’s a dark mole right over James’ thick left eyebrow and Regulus wants to kiss it. His nose is a little crooked and his stubble looks so obscene from up close Regulus can’t help but imagine what it would feel like against the inside of his thigh, the crease of his ass.

James’ eyebrows raise and he frowns mildly, “You don’t have to, of course. I can ask someone else, it’s no iss—”

“No,” Regulus blurts, probably too quickly. He licks his lips. “I’ll do it,” he offers, his voice cracking embarrassingly, before clambering down his chair. Heat crawls up into Regulus’ cheeks and down his collarbones and he clears his throat.

A gust of realization flits over James’ face and then he grins, shamelessly. Regulus swallows. “Oh, so you’re the cute College kid Lily told me was ogling me.”

Regulus makes a panicked noise in the back of his throat, sputtering slightly.

“You really are pretty,” James murmurs, ducking closer. “I wear glasses usually, ’m sorta blind without them, really. It’s lovely getting to see you up close finally.”

“Oh,” Regulus nods, dumbly.

“What’s your name, love?”

“Regulus.”

James hums, repeating his name, slowly letting it roll over his tongue and Regulus shivers.

“I’m James by the way.”

Regulus nods again but he knew that already.

“So,” James cocks his head, “I was promised a slathering of sunscreen?”

And Regulus does just that. He lets James squirt the cool, milky white fluid on his hands and then begins rubbing it into tan skin. James is warm and sturdy under his fingers and when Regulus gets to his neck, adorned by a thin, golden chain, James lets his head loll to the side with a groan. Regulus has to work hard not to let his cock react to it.

When James turns around he has his lower lip trapped between his teeth and is watching Regulus with lidded eyes. There’s still some residue on Regulus’ palms and when James sees that, he takes his wrists slowly and brings his hands down over his bicep as well. 

Regulus is pretty sure he just sighed a little too loudly but he’s too transfixed to care. 

James hums once Regulus is done. “Thank you,” he says, tucking one of Regulus’ curls back. “I’ll let you get back to your shift then,” James mumbles, voice low and playful, “Wouldn’t want to distract you from saving lifes.”

“I’m not on shift,” Regulus replies, stupidly, basically exposing himself. He needs to get a grip.

A happy smile spreads over James’ face, “Well, then why don’t you come join me so I can keep looking at you without my glasses from up close?”

Regulus hesitates for a moment, dumbfounded by the amount of active flirting and compliments.

“I’ll share my fruit and you can tell me all about your courses and that blonde friend of yours that seems to have a thing for Harry’s mum,” James winks.

A small laugh tumbles out of Regulus, “Yeah, she’s ridiculously down bad for Lily.” 

“Oh, people who live in glass houses, love…” James smirks, starting for his spot next to the pool.

Regulus blushes a deep pink as he follows behind him.

[ecstarry]

@jegulus-microfic / more / 272 words / @fromagony @star4daisy

Sirius had been standing for five minutes outside his own dorm trying to figure out if opening the door would be something he would regret for the rest of his life. He could hear James and Regulus talking, he could even understand what they were saying.

“James, I want more,” his brother insisted with a pouting voice.

“Regulus, you’re getting greedy,” James said and Sirius could hear his best friend smirking. 

“I will let you know when it’s enough, Jamie.” 

“Last time you couldn’t even move after you finished.” Sirius felt sick.

“I don’t care about that. I want more now.”

Sirius couldn’t take it anymore and opened the door at once.

“Stop!” Sirius demanded loudly with one hand covering his eyes. 

“Pads, what are you doing?” James said, laughing at him. 

Slowly, Sirius opened his eyes and saw through his finger. 

“Oh.”

Regulus and James were sitting on the floor over a blanket, each with a plate full of pasta in front of them. James was holding a cheese grater over Regulus’ dish. 

“Everything okay, brother?” 

“I thought- What were you guys talking about?” Sirius asked, still trying to ground himself. 

“My boyfriend over here conveniently forgets he’s lactose intolerant when it comes to parmesan cheese.”

“Oh! That’s why he couldn’t move after he finished…” Sirius muttered to himself. However, not quietly enough to keep Regulus from hearing him and burst out in laughter. 

“You’re a perv! Now leave, because I do have plans to do exactly what you were thinking about.” Regulus stood up and pushed him out the door. 

Sirius did not wait to listen to them this time.

[coyotelip]

jegulus microfic: lipstick || modern au || @into-the-jeggyverse || wc: 400

Regulus is beaming.

Not a trace of the doubt and fear he started the night with is left on his face. Now, there is only a big smile and a warm gaze with which he responds to the girls' sincere words.

Mary compliments his pants, Marlene promises to take revenge on him next time at darts, Dorcas taps him on the shoulder and promises to write to him later about the book they were discussing.

James stands off to the side with Peter, watching as Lily is the last to reach Regulus, leaning in close to whisper something in his ear, that James obviously can't hear, and leaving a light kiss on his cheek.

Regulus beaming, and his smile grows even wider as he meets James' eyes and walks over to him after saying his goodbye's to girls.

"So, how did it go?" Regulus asks shyly.

"Oh, you're asking me? You literally stole all their attention, Prince Charming. I guess Remus isn’t their favorite anymore." James says to his boyfriend tenderly, unable to hide his own happy smile at the fact that the introduction of Regulus to his friends went so smoothly.

For a week after the invitation, Regulus had been nervously spinning and looking for reasons not to come, so sure that no one would like him. But James knew better, so he spent the week gently reassuring him otherwise. Now Reg's brilliant success felt like his own.

"You have something here," James says, reaching up to Reg's face to wipe away a pale mark on his cheek with his thumb. Pink lipstick remains on the pad of his finger.

"Oh, pay attention, Jamie," Remus's joking voice comes. "First Lils just refused to take part in your romantic life, and now she seems to be trying to cancel it altogether for you. A couple more nights like this, and Regulus will be enchanted, and you'll be left alone and forgotten."

James freezes at the thought of this, but a charming laugh escapes Regulus' lips in response to Remus' obvious teasing.

"Not a chance," Regulus confidently closes the short distance between them to press his chest against James' and leave a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. "No one can take my attention away from this treasure now."

Perhaps James should let his friends get Regulus drunk more often if every time he will end up saying something like that.

[bri-cheeses]

Our Little Secret - Part 2

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 787 | Part one is here |

-

“Can’t you just tell me plainly like any other normal person?”

Evan ignored that.

“Ravenclaw party. Fourth year.”

“What?” Barty asked, shocked back into bewilderment once more.

“That’s when I figured out I liked guys.”

Barty’s response was a beat late. “Uh… okay?”

“Do you want to know how?” Evan pressed. He took a step forward. He wasn’t sure whether he was gratified or angry that Barty took a step back.

“Yeah, sure,” Barty huffed. “Whatever gets you to finally spit it out.”

Evan closed his eyes. Barty’s barbed words were almost enough to stop him from saying it, but he had already made up his mind. And he doubted that their relationship could really be salvaged now that they had both managed to mess it up so terribly, so really, there was nothing holding him back anymore.

He opened his eyes slowly, calling to mind dim lights, bad music, and too many teenagers in one space. He took a deep breath.

“You were dancing with this girl,” he began slowly. “I don’t even know who it was, because I didn’t spare her a second glance. Not when you were there next to her, dancing and smiling like you were having the time of your life. And then you looked back over to me and somehow you smiled even wider, then gave me this stupid little wink and in that moment all I could think was how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Barty’s breath hitched. Evan ignored it.

“Olivia Gleaves, fourth year again. The first ever girlfriend you had, who I hated so fiercely that Cas had to corner me and tell me to knock it off, that you were my best friend, yes, but that didn’t mean I could feel entitled to being your number one person all the time. And so I shut up and stopped glaring and I was a good little “best friend” until you two broke up three weeks later.”

“Barret Fay, fifth year. The first guy you ever kissed. Coincidentally, I broke my hand that night, and a dent found its way into the wall. Lucky for me, I suppose, that we had a big Transfiguration paper due the next day and I could easily write it off as frustration with schoolwork.

“December 16th, fifth year. We got caught under the mistletoe, and instead of laughing it off and kissing me on the cheek like you had with every single one of our friends, you refused to even touch me and spent the dinner afterwards eating in complete silence, and I made sure to never walk through doorways with you again during the holiday season.

“Cooper Covenhelm, sixth year. The first actual boyfriend you ever had, and the first guy to threaten me to stay out of the way and to not talk to you unless I absolutely had to. So I took the back burner for the next two months and let Regulus fill in as your best friend, then tried not to let anything slip when you finally cornered me and asked why I had been avoiding you. I don’t remember what I said, but you broke up with Cooper a week later and I felt so relieved I could hardly breathe.

“There are a bunch of other things I could talk about. The runs I started going on just to get a break from you and clear my head. All the people who threw themselves at me but I rejected because I was too hung up on someone else. The way Regulus figured it out at the end of last year and actually looked sad on my behalf, because, I’m assuming, he knew how impossible it was, too. The fact that I lied about what I smelled in Amortentia, the way literally everyone else in our friend group has figured it out, that time that you accidentally stole one of my shirts and I didn’t say anything because I liked how you looked in it… the way you kissed me last night, then told me just now that it was a mistake and I should keep quiet about it.”

“So you’ll excuse me if I’m a little angry right now. But I’m sure that you’re right. It was a mistake, and I’ll keep quiet about it because that’s what I’m best at, isn’t it?”

Evan waited a beat for Barty to say something, then shook his head when nothing came. He should’ve known better than to expect anything, honestly.

“I’m going to breakfast,” was all Evan said. And he turned around and walked away, cursing Barty for never being able to see him as anything more than a friend, and hating himself for hoping that he ever would.

-

(Part three)

[hidden-for-reg]

July 24: dealer | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 595

Game nights were James’ favorite.

Every Saturday evening, James would host a small game night at his flat with all of his friends. They’d have a few drinks, maybe order in some food, and play card games for hours. James looked forward to it every week.

But this Saturday was going to be extra special.

Sirius, James’ best friend, was bringing his little brother, Regulus, with him to James’ game night. James had never met Regulus and was thrilled to finally meet Sirius’ brother. 

Sirius had told James that sometimes Regulus was fairly mean and not to expect much out of him. James mulled over that and thought about a million exchanges that might go down between him and Regulus that Saturday. 

However, James hadn’t foreseen that Sirius’ brother would be the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. 

Regulus was the first person to arrive and he came alone. 

When James opened the door his jaw dropped just slightly at the sight of the man in front of him. “Um, hi,” James stammered, “I’m James.” He held out a hand for Regulus to shake. 

“I’m Regulus. Sirius’ brother. I’m sure he’s said something about me,” the other man responded in a cool voice, taking James’ hand. 

He dropped his hand from the shake and led Regulus inside. “You’re the first to arrive, so it’ll be a bit boring before other people show up with the drinks and cards,” James explained, showing Regulus to his living room and gesturing him to sit on the couch with him. 

Regulus nodded and sat down next to James leaving a small gap between them. 

They sat like that, in awkward silence, for a few minutes before James couldn’t bear it anymore and asked, “Um, Sirius said you’re still finishing up in uni?”

Regulus nodded again and turned his piercing grey eyes on James. “Yeah, I’m about done with my last year.”

James muttered something that sounded vaguely like “That’s cool” before blurting again with, “So have you ever played cards before?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at him. “I wasn’t raised under a rock, of course I’ve played before. What are we playing?” Regulus assured James.

James grinned and answered, “Blackjack.”

The other man’s cheeks went pink, which James found insanely adorable. “Oh.” Regulus looked sheepish all of a sudden. “I’ve actually… never played blackjack before. Our family only ever played poker.”

“Oh,” James said a quick prayer in his head before risking putting his arm around Regulus’ shoulders. “I can teach you the basics right now, if you’d like!” He grinned at the man.

Regulus rolled his eyes good-naturedly and huffed, “I guess.”

“Great!” James exclaimed. “So, in blackjack all the players are trying to get closer to 21 than the dealer, but they can’t hold over 21. If you go over, you bust and get nothing. Each hand is played separate and the end goal is to have a higher hand value than the dealer.”

Regulus’ brows furrowed while he took in the information. When James finished his explanation, Regulus remained quiet.

“So, did you understand any of that?” James asked with an airy chuckle.

The corners of Regulus’ lips tipped up in a small smile that lit up his eyes. “Er, no,” he confessed, laughing a little too.

James waved his hand, dismissing the problem. “Lily’ll explain it better anyway.”

James and Regulus made eye contact and burst out laughing together. 

“PRONGS?”

Their heads snapped to the living room entrance where Sirius stood, bewildered expression on his face and a pack of 6 drinks in his hand. 

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // february 7 // prompt: star // words: 1,416 // cw: referenced sexual content // part 1 + part 3

“So let me get this straight,” Barty says, pacing in front of the couch where Regulus is sitting with his back straight and his hands tucked between his knees. “You sucked off your ex in the bathroom, picked a fight with him because he wanted to return the favor, ended up hooking up with him and staying the night, and now you’re telling me he texted you?”

Barty ticked off every point he made, a full five fingers now held up in front of Regulus' face. Five offenses. Regulus fights to maintain eye contact but his resolve crumbles under Barty's unyielding stare. Barty Crouch Junior, a force of nature. If only he'd use his powers for good.

“That would be correct,” Regulus says after a moment of silence.

“And his name in your phone is do not fucking respond.”

“That would also be correct.”

“And what did you do?”

“I responded.” Regulus at least has the decency to hang his head in shame. He remembers how long it took his friends to piece him back together in the aftermath of Hurricane James.

Barty sighs, bone-deep and long-suffering. He pinches the bridge of his nose before dropping his hand and turning to face Regulus again. “Follow-up question: were you dropped on your head as an infant?”

Regulus perks up at that, because “Well—”

“Don’t answer that,” Barty says, voice clipped. “God, Regulus. Gold star for being a fucking idiot.”

“In my defense,” Regulus starts. He doesn't continue though. Lets the silence stretch until there is no give anymore. Barty cocks an impatient eyebrow. “He looked really good,” Regulus finishes lamely. A red flush crawls up his neck and Regulus is sure it makes the mottled bites and bruises on his skin stand out even more.

Barty stops pacing to shoot Regulus an incredulous look. “That’s such a bad excuse? He always looks good? If you’re gonna be dropping to your knees as soon as he's within a two-mile radius, just— don’t.”

“But—”

And really, Regulus isn’t sure why he’s about to argue. He absolutely should be kept away from James at all times and he’d been so good at it for a while, but then. Well. Before he gets a chance to argue though, Barty cuts him off again.

“Don't make me call Pandora. She will bring the list.”

That does shut Regulus up. A huge file with an annotated bibliography and an itemized list of why Regulus should stay away from James. They had used it against him before and it worked every time. This time though, he didn’t want his weaknesses pointed out to him just yet.

“Fine. I won't talk to James anymore.”

---

“And then you have the fucking audacity to text me?” Regulus asks, incredulity bleeding into his voice. James seems unbothered by it though, hip cocked against the kitchen counter and arms crossed over his chest.

“Would you rather I call you?” He asks.

Regulus whirls on him. “No! I'd rather you not reach out to me at all!”

“See, once again, I am finding that hard to believe.” James pushes himself off the counter and steps closer to Regulus. “Did celibacy make a liar out of you? Or did I fuck you so good you forgot all the things you said last night?” He keeps his voice low as he says it, but Regulus hears it loud and clear. He shifts under James’ sharp gaze. Eyes lazily tracking the way Regulus moves.

“I'm not fucking lying. Last night was a mistake,” Regulus lies. Because that’s what he does now. Apparently.

“Technically two,” James says. He bites his bottom lip thoughtfully, eyes stuck on one of the many bruises littering Regulus’ neck.

Regulus doesn’t need the reminder, he can feel the bites and bruises sting with every turn of his head. Hands pressed palm to palm and the two of them chest to chest. A leg between Regulus’ own and his voice so wrecked he didn’t realize it was his at first. James, softened by the low light in the room, all his sharp edges blurring into pleasure. The hum of a moan into the heated skin of his neck.

“Technically three,” Regulus murmurs, eyes getting hazy, but he catches himself a second later, straightening. “But that's not what we're talking about!”

“Isn’t it?” James cocks his head. A lazy smirk pulls at James’ lips. The sight makes something simmer hot in Regulus’ gut. “We seem awful good at making mistakes. Maybe they're not mistakes at all.”

“All of this was a mistake! From the beginning! We shouldn't have hooked up and we shouldn't have dated and none of this should've fucking happened. Not last night, not last year, none of it.” Regulus takes a heaving breath. Considers saying more, but then James cuts in with:

“Are you done?”

“What?”

“I asked if you were done.”

“I— Yeah. I guess.”

James takes a step closer again, boxing Regulus in against the table. He presses his palms down on the flat surface, one on each side of Regulus’ hips. He has to look up a bit to be able to look James in the eye when they’re this close. He always liked it.

“You know what, that would've hurt my feelings if I believed you. Although I guess I do think this was a mistake. In a way.”

The feeling of James’ breath hitting the side of his neck makes Regulus shiver. James dips down for the barest, briefest moment and drags his lips along the column of Regulus’ neck, tracing the path he laid out the night before. It takes Regulus a second to realize what James just said, too caught up in his closeness to register the words. He isn't prepared for the way that statement makes him feel, a sharp pang in his chest and a dull ache all the way down his fingertips. He curls them into fists, keeps them resolutely in his lap. But before he has a chance to react, James continues.

“See, I think we never should've broken up. Mistake number one.” James takes the smallest of steps backward just to be able to raise his pointer finger. Regulus misses the heat instantly. “And I think you shouldn't have left this morning. Mistake number two.” He raises a second finger. “And you know what they say about mistakes.”

He glances at Regulus thoughtfully, waiting for him to fill in the blanks.

“Don't fucking make them?” Regulus asks.

“All good mistakes come in threes,” James corrects, a third finger now being held up.

“No one says that.”

“Maybe they should.”

“No, James,” Regulus shakes his head and leans back, putting some distance between himself and James. Or trying to, at least. “This is a bad idea and we both know it.”

James just leans into him more. Regulus goes a little cross-eyed trying to maintain eye contact. His focus is drawn to James’ lips instead. He remembers them pink and bitten. Stretched wide, spit clicking the corners.

“Come on, baby,” James hedges. “No more mistakes. Just me and you. And I'll be so good for you, good to you, I swear.”

His voice is molten honey, hot and sweet, and it sticks to Regulus’ skin like a physical thing.

And Regulus only has so much resolve. He unclenches his fists, allowing himself to reach out and touch. But the smooth fabric of James’ sweater is a poor substitute for the thing he really craves. It buzzes in his veins, a steady hum that's getting increasingly harder to ignore. There is no alcohol in his system to blur the lines he'd once drawn, he steps over them with his eyes wide open.

“You're addicting, you know that?” Regulus murmurs, mouth a few scant inches from James’. “Just can't fucking quit you. You and your Jamesness.”

Before James can reply, Regulus curls a hand over James’ throat and tugs him into a kiss. The buzzing in his veins quiets immediately, satisfaction rushing through them instead. It’s heady, kissing James again, even though it’s only been a couple of hours since their last kiss. James really is addicting. And Regulus is a weak, weak man.

---

is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me [group • 4 members]

reg: hey guys....

evan: you're an embarrassment

barty: @panda send the fuckinf list

pandora: reasons why regulus should keep his dick in his pants and out of his ex [file type: PDF • 53 pages]

[starchaserwrites]

@jegulus-microfic / february 18: pet / word count: 572 cw: foul language and violent behavior

James doesn't easily get annoyed, but his biggest pet peeve is people who do not say hello when they arrive at a place, so every time it's his turn to be in charge of the till at the cafe where he works, he struggles to control the twitch in his eye. When the next customer only mutters "venti iced americano, hurry" without even looking up from his phone and throws the money on the counter, he just puts on his best customer service smile and clenches his fists.

Not even five minutes have passed since the order was placed but the man in his early forties is tapping his fingers loudly on the delivery counter and alternating between staring at his watch and at James insistently. Fortunately, there aren't too many customers at this time of day, so Lily and Mary don't take too long to get the man's order ready.

"Is it too fucking hard to make a good fucking drink? I asked you for iced and this is lukewarm!" says the man in a voice loud enough to silence the café that was previously echoing with the soft conversations of customers.

Under normal circumstances James would probably have explained that all that needs to be done to make the drink colder is simply to stir it, but putting on his best smile he offers a "Oh, sorry about that. We'll redo it!" the customer is always right and that shit, right?

So when the drink is handed to him for the second time and the man literally spits the sip he took on Mary, James is ready for a confrontation.

"Are you an idiot or some kind of mentally retarded? This doesn't taste like fucking anything! You bunch of morons were dropped on your heads when you were babies. And you pair of bitches..."

Just as James is about to leap over the counter and punch this asshole, the man is pushed and cornered against the wall in the blink of an eye.

"Can you shut the fuck up?" says Regulus, one of the regulars who comes almost every day after work, shaking the man by the collar of his shirt with his ringed hands. And if James always notices how he sits at the table closest to the counter, and they constantly exchange glances it's nobody's business.

"But-"

"I don't give a shit, you've been throwing a tantrum this whole time and I won't take it anymore so get the fuck out of here this very second or I'm going to shove what's left of your coffee so deep up your ass to see if you can finally taste it." Regulus continues before pushing him against the wall one last time and letting him go.

The lovely customer starts to walk slowly towards the exit, but halfway there he turns around as if to say something.

"I promise they'll be finding your remains for the next four months if you don't walk out that door now," the silver-eyed man says before the forty-year-old can add anything else. The thing is, he says it so menacingly, like he really means it, that James feels weak in the knees.

Physical or verbal violence isn't supposed to be attractive, but this may have awakened something in James.

So please, no one judge him when a few hours later he ends up tangled in his bed from head to toe with Regulus.

[isabel-lillah]

may 1 - prompt: animagus - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 601

Regulus found the ring in James's stuff over a month ago, and he's kind of starting to panic over it.

It's not that he thinks James is seeing someone else, because no, he would never. What he worries about is the possibility that James wanted to propose, but then realised what a wreck Regulus is, and decided that it's just not worth it to get married to him.

Regulus has always been worried about that. He's always been scared that one day James would realise he's just not good enough for him.

And he gets it, really, but the not knowing if that's what is actually happening now is really stressing him out. So much so that James notices.

It's a Wednesday evening when James finally decides to ask what has been worrying his boyfriend recently. They're laying on the couch, Reg's back pressed to James's front. They're watching a movie on a muggle television, when a break comes on.

"Reg, I've been meaning to ask you. Is something bothering you? You've seemed kinda anxious recently," James asks, tracing random shapes on Reg's arm with his fingers.

Regulus tenses instantly.

"Love, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

At that, Regulus's last will to not say anything about the ring breaks down. He can't handle this anymore, and if he's going to get broken up with, he might as well just get it over with.

With a deep breath, he confesses: "I found the ring, James. More than a month ago."

It was James's turn to freeze, but before he could say anything, Reg continued: "And I understand if you thought better than proposing at the end, but I was just too scared I'd lose you completely if I asked, so I didn't."

As Regulus gets up to leave, James snaps out of his initial shock and quickly stands up too, catching Reg around his waist.

"Love, please look at me," he says, gently turning his boyfriend's face to his, only to find him with tears in his eyes.

"There's nothing that could make me decide not to propose to you. I just didn't want to do it until we were totally honest with each other, and there's something I've been holding back. I was trying to figure out how to tell you, and it took me a while," Regulus watched James take a breath before continuing: "So, I have permission of everyone to tell you. I've had for a while now, actually. So, Remus is a werewolf-"

Regulus choked. He didn't know what to expect when James started his speech, but it certainly wasn't this.

James rubbed his back as he continued: "And, naturally, me, Sirius and Peter want to be there for him. That's why we all disappear once a month, and that's why... I'm an animagus."

This bit actually got Regulus speechless for a minute.

"So, that's my one and only secret. I hope you understand why I didn't tell you earlier, I couldn't, it's not just my secret. We're all unregistered, even Remus is. On a less worrying tone, if you'll still have me, we can stop worrying about that proposal. It's going to happen. If you'll allow me?"

Regulus just laughed. This was the best scenario that could happen. "I will, only if you tell me what animagus you are. And you need to show me."

James chuckled and kissed him chastely, before grabbing his hand, and dragging him out of the house: "We need to get out for that, love."

[ultravioletbrit]

“mold” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 435 words

 

James, Regulus, Sirius and Remus are sitting in the living room at James and Regulus’ flat. They’re talking about everything and nothing and just having a relaxing afternoon.

“Click”

“Sirius, come help me with the tea, will you?” James asks as he randomly stands up in the middle of the conversation. Sirius gives James an odd look but follows him to the kitchen, nonetheless.

Regulus and Remus are left in the living room and now it’s Remus’ turn to give Regulus an odd look.

“What was that clicking sound?” Remus asks Regulus.

“Nothing.” Regulus responds casually.

“Regulus?”

Regulus doesn’t respond, but his lips tick up ever so slightly. Remus narrows his eyes at him and sees him fiddling with something in his pocket.

“What’s in your pocket, Regulus?” Remus pushes.

“Nothing.” Regulus repeats but his lips turn up a bit more.

“Regulus.”

Regulus tries to hide his smile as he reaches in his pocket and pulls something out to show Remus.

“Is that… is that a dog clicker?” Remus asks dumbfounded.

Regulus isn’t even trying to hide his smile anymore.

“Regulus… Did you Pavlov James?!” Remus is shocked and also sounds slightly horrified.

Regulus is full-on smirking at this point.

“What? Are you trying to mold him into the perfect boyfriend or something?”

“Oh no, he’s already the perfect boyfriend. This is just for fun.” Regulus finally responds.

“I… You… You can’t do that!” Remus exclaims quietly so the others don’t hear.   

“It started as an accident really, but he’s surprisingly easy to train so I wanted to see how many things I could get him to bring me before he figures it out.” Remus just stares at Regulus with his mouth gaped. “I’ve got him up to six.” Regulus say nonchalantly.

“REGULUS!” Remus whisper shouts. “… What does he bring you?” Remus suddenly becomes curious.

“He makes me tea, brings me my book, my slippers, a blanket, one of his sweatshirts and a hairbrush.” Remus looks at him confused. “Yeah, I really thought he’d figure it out after the hairbrush. We’re working on a flashlight right now.” Regulus says casually.

Remus just shakes his head at Regulus speechless. Regulus leans back on the couch with a smirk waiting for his tea.

----

James and Sirius are in the kitchen finishing up the tea. Sirius is still looking at James curiously.

“You know what he’s doing, right?” Sirius asks James.

“Oh yeah, I know. But he’s having fun, so I just let him do it.” James tells him with a shrug.

“You are the weirdest couple I know.” Sirius just shakes his head at James.

[wisedelusionalmarshmallow]

@jegulus-microfic, June 27th - Heal, G, Word Count - 431

Regulus never understood why people liked cuddling so much. It sounded boring and uncomfortable. He doubted he could spent 10 minutes like that, let alone waste an entire day overheating. Besides, what is there for you to do? Talking would just release more hot air into the room, and every other activity would just lead to sleep. Regulus would prefer to keep his sleep schedule intact, thank you very much.

The first time that James laid next to him though, he started to understand it.

Regulus was curled up on one end of the Slytherin common room couch with a book in his hand when he heard James coming in. He had just finished up at Quidditch practice and was utterly exhausted. Stumbling down the stairs, he spots the black-haired boy and makes his way over.

Peering over his book, Regulus watches as James comes to sit beside him. The older boy lays his head on his shoulders and snuggles close, leaning his body weight against Regulus and sneaking his hands around his waist.

He didn't know what was happening at the time. It made sense that James would find comfort with him, they were dating after all. But, it was all weird to Regulus.

He tensed up slightly, before leaning into the touch back. It felt... nice? The way James was sitting allowed him to continue reading his book, and the forever cold Slytherin dungeons helped Regulus stay cool. Which meant that all his concerns were gone now. And he's enjoying this more than he thought he would.

The next time it happens, Regulus is the one to initiate. It was the coldest day of the year and nothing was working, not even his famous heating charms. So he snuck into the Gryffindor dorms and found his way into James' arms for the night.

He felt relieved he wasn't shivering anymore but was worried about getting bored. He didn't have a book this time and James fell asleep 3 minutes ago. The more he thought about it however, the more he realized that he wasn't actually bored, just in his head about it. So he took a moment to figure out how he was actually feeling. He finally noticed how calming it was to be in James' arms. He didn't have to have anything to entertain him, instead simply focusing on how nice it was to have another person with you.

That realization was healing for Regulus. No wonder people spent all day doing this. Being in his boyfriend's arms is the safest, warmest, most relaxing place he's ever been.

[wastingawayinmyroom]

@prongsfoot-microfic mentions of suicide. double mcd.

permanent.

"I'm sorry to inform you—"

Dear Sirius,

"—James Potter was found—"

I love you. I love you to a fault.

"—On his bathroom floor—"

I hope this letter reaches you. Nobody deserves to go through the things you do. I hope you can find the strength to get through this.

"—Monday evening—"

Continue on without me.

"—We're not yet sure of his motives, but—"

Because, by the time you're reading this, my mind has been set. I will be gone.

"—We think it was because of—"

I can't do this anymore. I can't, Sirius, I love you, but I can't. I can't watch you be hurt. I can't watch myself hurt you. I can't watch.

"—The fragile state of his mental health—"

I can't hurt. Not anymore.

"—We send you our condolences—"

And now I don't have to.

"—And wish—"

So, please.

"—You luck—"

Stay strong.

"—With your—"

For me.

"—Journey."

Okay?

"The funeral services—"

Love, James.

He doesn't register the rest.

The blood is pooling, now, inside the bathtub, and his ears aren't working.

The talking stops. It becomes a frantic, "Hello? Sir, are you there?"

He is not there.

He is thinking. He is wondering why death is permanent.

Because,

sadly,

so is

his

love.

[veritas-scribblings]

heal - @jegulus-microfic - words: 1,191

Come October, Regulus is quiet. Closed in on himself. Almost non-existent. He won’t come out of the bedroom, James says. He’s been shut in there all day and he won’t look at James. 

Sometimes James thinks that Regulus is punishing him for everything that had happened between them. For all the time that was lost. For all the fights that were had. For all the betrayals that occurred on both sides.

James has no regrets. And James has all the regrets. 

James has no guilt. And James has all the guilt.

In October, Lily brings the baby around to visit. He’s not really a baby anymore, honestly. He’s walking (running, really) and speaking in two-to-three word sentences, and he has the funniest little shoes that Sirius bought him and drags a stuffed dragon wherever he goes.

James had been devastated to have missed when little Harry started to really run (or at least as well as a two-year-old can run); he often is when he misses the milestones. So, when Harry begins chasing Regulus’s cat, James doesn’t intervene. If anything, he encourages the behaviour. The cat is a nasty, spiteful little demon anyway. 

‘It’s hard for him,’ Lily says gently. ‘He went through a lot.’

‘We all went through a lot,’ James mutters, frowning. ‘It was war. That’s the definition of war. War is a lot.’

Lily rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her glass of wine. It is Regulus’s wine and he will have a fit when he finds out, but right before shutting down, they’d had a vicious fight and James is still reeling a little from it. ‘Stop being such a little bitch,’ Lily says, her expression entirely reproaching. ‘Callousness doesn’t suit you anymore. Regulus almost died. I think he’s allowed to be a bit torn up about it occasionally. Have you tried…talking to him?’

‘He just ignores me. That’s the problem!’ James groans, looking over to where Harry is trying to crawl under the coffee table to reach Regulus’s little demon cat. ‘Actually, right before the whole ignoring me problem, he told me to fuck off and find someone else to—and I quote—“cast as your trophy husband in your little perfect white-picket fence delusion”. I think he’s trying to break up with me, Lils!’ 

Lily snorts into her glass of wine. Because, of course she does. Regulus might have issues with her, but she’s still always appreciated him for his nasty acid tongue. In some ways, they really are one of a kind, and James occasionally wonders if he has a type.

‘He’s not wrong,’ she says. ‘You have always really loved playing house. Okay, okay, have you tried...just giving him space.’

‘There’s a continent of space between us!’ James exclaims. ‘That’s the problem!’

‘Alright, alright.’ Lily grabs Harry when he starts trying to grab the cat’s tail to yank it out from its hiding place beneath the glass coffee table. ‘Have you tried bitch slapping him, then?’

‘…thanks, you’re such a huge help, Lils.’

‘You can’t force someone to be okay if they’re not, James. You can just be there for them.’

Trapped in Lily’s arms, Harry shouts in protest and starts to squirm around like a fish out of water. He’s a spirited child (a tiny human, as Regulus puts it). Regulus has always loved that about him. That Harry is bold. Tenacious. At times he can be an absolute menace, a quality that Regulus nurtures in him. 

‘I’m just going to…’ James grabs Harry and tucks him under his arm. ‘Give me a moment.’

He races upstairs, Harry giggling and thrashing about excitedly. When he reaches the bedroom, he doesn’t knock; Regulus will not permit him entry if he does. Inside, Regulus sits on the bed staring blankly at a book that is open in his lap. The curtains are drawn, so it’s not like he’d even be able to see well enough to read anyway.

Even in the darkness of his own tiny, private world, Regulus is so beautiful. His hair has grown long recently, the weight pulling his curls looser. James used to love tucking the loose strands behind his ears so he can see Regulus’s silver-grey eyes, so he can see all of Regulus’s face before he kisses him.

And then he realised, after a while, that Regulus lets his hair grow out when he’s not in a good way.

Harry waves exaggeratedly and shouts, ‘Hi!’ because he has yet to work out volume control. He crawls across the bed towards Regulus and perches next to him, reaching up to pat Regulus’s cheek.

‘I’ve come to bribe you with a tiny human,’ James says with a smile. ‘He’s been asking for you, you know.’ 

Regulus sighs and sets the book aside. I’m not in the mood, his expression says. I want to be alone, his expression says. But he, himself, speaks none of this because he’s always so cautious about Harry. So wary of breaking him the way he had been broken as a child. He takes the stuffed dragon that Harry offers him and sits it on his lap.

And then, slowly, he looks up at James. ‘Why am I here?’ 

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, James frowns. Because you lived, he wants to say. There is not a day that goes by that James does not thank every higher power in and out of existence that Regulus lived, because he would he would have died with Regulus otherwise. He would not have been able to survive such a loss. Not intact. Not whole. Regulus would have taken every vital part of James with him.

‘Why am I here?’ Regulus repeats.

James reaches over to stroke Harry’s hair. He wants so badly to run his fingers through Regulus’s hair, but he fears that Regulus will not accept touch right now.

‘Because I want you here,’ he whispers. ‘And I love you. And I hope you want to be here too.’ And I hope, he thinks, that you love me too.

‘Why?’ Regulus asks. 

And James knows what he’s asking: why do you love me? It’s just that James does not know how to answer this. He just does. He loves Regulus because he cannot imagine any other way of being. He loves how gentle Regulus is, how simultaneously fragile and strong. He loves how clever Regulus is. How good Regulus is, how good Regulus wants to be. How brazen and forthright, how Regulus always speaks his mind.  How fussy. How loyal. How intense. How proud. How Regulus’s feet always get cold. How Regulus loves cats because they’re independent and particular. How Regulus is slightly addicted to grapes. How he goes crazy if someone dog-ears his books.

James leans over and gently kisses Regulus’s forehead. The tip of his nose. His lips. A soft, chaste, closed-mouth kiss that he hopes says everything he cannot find the words to say right now and will hopefully be able to say one day. Soon.

He needs Regulus to know. To understand. To feel and believe it. That James wants him here. That James would not have it any other way.