#is horrifying and honestly really disheartening

[existentialcrafting]

I don’t know all the details about this drug, but I can confirm we were taught about it in vet school last year, it’s a legit medication that’s been fairly well studied, and the professors all agreed that it can be very effective for treating feline infectious peritonitis! If you can manage to get ahold of it, and make sure you’re getting the real thing :/

Do y'all ever think about how wild it is that for years there's been this heartbreaking incurable disease that kills thousands of cats. And Gilead Pharmaceuticals found a drug that treats it but won't actually sell it to veterinarians because of patent bullshit? Because I do.

Anyways. I'd never advocate for acquiring drugs illegally to save your cat's life. Which is why if your cat has FIP you should check out the organization I've put in my tags. So that you remember to avoid getting GS-441524.

Capitalism is evil in general. But capitalism in medicine is cartoonishly monstrous.

[nmakii]

‘Can I ask you to do something about Alastor×reader? About y/n being a modern girl (2023-2024), and she often has strange gestures or words towards Alastor. One time she talked to him in modern language, making him confused and very curious. (You can expand the situation as you like, sorry my English is not very good)’

NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER!

— alastor x modern!reader (platonic or romantic!)

— alastor calls reader “good girl” so mostly fem!coded

— I WROTE THIS AND THEN IT GOT DELETED I MIGHT KMS.

alastor gets slangs that are common such as LOL, WTF, IDK but doesn’t get some that aren’t as common like LMFAO, IDRC, or WTAF since they’re just making them longer, so it’s quite useless…

he also doesn’t quite get shortcuts for words. one time you left him a note “lol brb rq imma b back in like 20 min. j gon pick smt up” most of it was honestly gibberish to him, but at the very least, he understood you’ll be back in 20 minutes.

gets really angry when you say things like “stop reaching, gooner. you’re just pissed that you’re a beta.” because; one, you’re blatantly disrespecting the radio demon and telling him to shut up. and two, he doesn’t get what any of that meant. what’s a gooner?

also gets annoyed often when you start singing songs like “i’m the alpha, i’m the leader” or “sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler” because, it’s a reflection on modern society and how music quality in modern times have plummeted significantly.

what happened to those beautiful songs such as “the man i love”? has it been replaced by this rizzler nonsense??? honestly, you’re giving alastor more and more reasons to dislike modernity… you’re lucky he finds your company enjoyable

in a desperate attempt to connect with you, he asked angel about your humor, hoping he’d understand. alastor knows that if anything, velvette would know. but, he’d rather get beaten by lucifer than ask the vees for help…

sadly for him, angel is just as confused. although, he at least knew what this alpha bullshit was, vaguely explaining furries and the alpha-beta-omegaverse to him…

you were in the hotel den, scrolling on social media as alastor walked in. “s/o, be a dear and fetch me some chicken breasts from the butcher, would you? i’d like to prepare something for tonight’s dinner.” alastor smiled

“hmm… nah. go do it yourself, furry” you giggled brattishly. “hahah… what did you call me?” alastor asked sternly, his face now close with yours, antlers increasing only slightly in size. “ah…” you stuttered.

alastor was never this mad when you said stuff like that, what was so different today? maybe he was in a bad mood? “ah… ill get it…” you conceded, using your hands to lightly push alastor away, lest he decides you’ll be for dinner…………

alastor snickered before patting you on the head. “good girl. don’t call me that again, this old dog can still learn new tricks, y’know?” he teasingly sang out. “huh?” you asked. “did you learn what a furry is?” you bit your lip, holding back your laughter.

“indeed, i did. horrifying that you’d think i would indulge in such hobbies…” he sighed, looking a little uncomfortable through his stressed smile. “what..? i don’t think you’re a furry, alastor. it’s not that deep. furry is just something that i used to laugh about with my friends back on earth.” you shallowly laughed, copying his actions by rubbing his hair.

he has to admit, that little mistranslation was a little funny looking back on it. but, he is a little disheartened that he got you scared over nothing. you were just having your fun and he got all pissed off. he’d definitely try to instead ask you about your slang as to prevent such a thing again…

[beemochi-art]

random question but how would your au react to the bayverse movies?

My version of Optimus was very much inspired off of bayverse Optimus. With the whole emperor/leader of Cybertron. But I think the way my Optimus would react would probably be very different in some situations. I think my version of Optimus would be more sad in some cases. Especially the whole we can make you now thing. (Bay Optimus was sad too don’t get me wrong.) Honestly I think my Op would have taken more consideration of what would happen to cybertronian remains.

Optimus like Bay Op would also be disheartening by the governments choice how how they are treating his people. But the humans in the bayverse, you have to admit, are some ride or die mfs. Optimus would be very attached, even if they are really really stupid.

(Honestly the human girls in the bay movies are better then the main dude characters.)

Bee would be horrified that this version can’t talk. My version of bumblebee would be very mortified and disgusted by the autobots fighting style. He’s a pacifist.

Jazz: “ I GET RIPPED IN HALF??

Crosshairs and Scavenger are very similar.

Elita to bay Op: “the fuck in wrong with you??”

Honestly I think the girls I have in my au would be better at smoothing over situations. Elita and Chromia being really essential to helping things not get out of hand. Honestly bayverse needs a women’s touch.

Both my Megatron and bay Megatron would try to kill each other.

My au of Megatron would never work with a Prime (working with sentinel is a big no no. Not even the Fallen) or humans (megatron doesn’t even speak English. Does know it, just refuses to speak it)

[avirael]

How to hold a grudge (on behalf of someone else)

“Oh! Hello Rael!”

The audacity of this man!, was all Rael thought as they opened the door to their house and found Thancred standing on the other side. They felt horribly tempted to just slam the door right back shut into his stupidly grinning face.

Certainly they could say that it had just been one of these intrusive Lalafell who tried to sell their useless and overpriced goods to gullible people (like A’viloh) or one of their neighbours asking to borrow sugar again. Anyone who was not Thancred Waters.

What did he even want here? Had all of the women in Revenant’s Toll finally realised how much of a fraud he was and fled town? Or maybe they had chased him away with brooms and pitchforks. Yes, the later was absolutely Rael’s preferred explanation for his unwelcome presence here.

They still glowered at the man, trying really hard not to greet him with an insult, when A’vi returned from the kitchen. “Who’s there?”, he asked gloomily on his way back to the couch. Just as Thancred appeared in his field of view, the Hyur raised an arm and waved lightly. “Hello to you too, A’viloh.”

“Oh!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed surprised and almost dropped the bowl of ice cream he held in his hands. And there was that expression again, Rael noted in frustration. The same one he had made the last time they had visited the Rising Stones. It was a strange mix of feelings and Rael thought it difficult to find a fitting word for it. He looked like he had mistaken some dangerous animal for a harmless pet and was now horrified by the bloodshed it caused but still couldn’t stop himself from liking that creature anyway despite its nature. Maybe the comparison was unnecessarily gruesome but Rael just hoped that A’viloh was at least clever enough not to get himself torn to pieces by the metaphorical sharp teeth.

***

It wasn’t all that difficult to understand how the Viera got this rather extreme opinion about Thancred Waters. He had always had a certain reputation around Vesper Bay and Ul’dah, Rael had quickly learned as they had asked around about the Scions before choosing to work with them. On top of that the man hadn’t exactly left a good first impression when they had met in person for the first time. Maybe he had honestly just been curious about meeting a Viera for the first time but Rael had already heard a few pretty stupid pick-up lines during their journey and this man had seemed right in line with that. A raised eyebrow and disgusted look on their face at least had quickly disheartened him to try any further.

But then there was A’viloh! Kind, yet so self-sabotaging A’viloh! Rael had long stopped wondering what it was that he found interesting about Thancred and instead decided to just blame it on a severe case of mental confusion. They had warned him about Thancred back when A'viloh had told them about the invitation but it really wasn’t their place to tell A’vi what to do or, in this case, not to do. So at first the Viera had simply intended for him to either be clever (which seemed unlikely) or learn that lesson on his own and the hard way if necessary. But this had been many months ago and in the meantime a lot had happened. By now the idea that the poor Miqo’te could get his feelings hurt by that vile man was giving Rael a headache.

Sure, Rael occasionally liked to tease him about the way he acted around Thancred and at first all of his infatuation had almost seemed to Rael like a good sign, but that assessment had changed shortly after. Finally Rael had managed to convince A’viloh that it would be a good idea to return to the Rising Stones and speak to Thancred about how the Miqo’te felt responsible for what had happened to him (and only about that, mind you!) but in the meantime Thancred had seemingly recovered very well and immediately reverted back to his old ways. Just worse. Both, concerning the quantity of alcohol and women.

In a surprisingly short span of time Thancred had managed to be seen with more women than Rael could count on their fingers, some of them just shamelessly flirting with but enough of them in more or less obvious situations. And that were just the ones he had no qualms to be seen with, Rael assumed. It was unnecessary to mention that A’viloh’s resolution to speak to him had died down abruptly.

Rael had observed this tragedy for as long and as peacefully as they could tolerate. They hadn’t wanted to interfere in something that actually wasn’t any of their business, so they had hoped that A’vi would soon get angry enough to stop moping. But they should have known that anger wasn’t exactly one of A’vi’s standard solutions for his problem and so of course it only seemed to get worse over time. Rael on the other hand had quickly developed a habit of getting angry on his behalf, to their own frustration.

One day Rael was speaking with Papalymo and Y'shtola about a book they were studying, when they noticed A'viloh gloomily staring down the counter of F‘lhaminn’s bar. After a moment F‘lhaminn, like the good barkeep she was, put a glass of liquor in front of him, raised an eyebrow and expected him to talk.

“What’s up with you?” she asked but A’viloh just grimaced and nodded to the glass in front of him. “That’s not a good idea. Alcohol and me don’t seem to go so well together.”

F‘lhlaminn had chuckled and made a peculiar face. “Oh, just like Thancred I guess…”, she said leaving it up to his interpretation if she meant alcohol and Thancred or him and Thancred, while she eyed him for a reaction.

A desperate sigh was all she got for an answer, but that was more than enough.

“Ha! So I rightfully thought this was about him. You know, I saw you eyeing him and Higiri…”

Avi snapped to attention, ears going up, face turning red. “What?! That ain’t true! Why would I??”

“If you say so…”, F’lhaminn chuckled again and returned her attention to the glass she was cleaning.

Seemingly unaware of the fact that he was proving her right, A’vi turned his head the other way and kept on sadly watching Thancred flirt with one of the doman girls from afar.

At that point Rael had decided to do something and stepped closer. “If you don't stop looking like this, I will go over there and I will punch him in his stupid face.”, they annouced sitting down beside A'vi.

Startled the Miqo’te turned around. “What?”

“It’s excuse me!”, Rael corrected and then repeated their words. “I said I am going to punch him in the face if you don’t!”

A’viloh was either truly unaware about his lovesick staring or had decided to play very very dumb. “Who?”

“Please! Don’t pretend to be more stupid than you actually are. Thancred of course!”, the Viera grumbled.

A’viloh still pretended to be oblivious. “Why should you do that??”

“You know why!”, sternly Rael glowered at him and finally the Miqo’te gave up this charade. “Alright! Fine! But how is he supposed to know that it bothers me?”, he retorted and Rael seriously wondered if he was this oblivious about how he was behaving.

“By the Twelve, A’vi!”, they exclaimed, a saying they had quickly picked up along with another few curses. “He can’t have that much brain damage to not notice that! Everybody in this building must by now have noticed that you are in love with him. I wouldn’t even be surprised if everybody in this whole town knows!”

A’viloh wanted to object at first but quickly gave up.. “I am not-... No… Please! Don’t tell me it is really that obvious?”

Rael rolled their eyes and slightly shook their head. “No, don’t worry! You just longingly stare at him every chance you get and sigh sadly every time he talks to someone. I guess your secret is safe!”

“That’s not funny…”, he muttered quietly with drooping ears. Rael just shrugged. It was only the truth.

Then A’vi added: “The idea that someone like Rowena knows something like that is kinda scary…”

“Careful! She’ll find a way to make money out of that. Blackmail or something…”, Rael couldn’t help but tease. At least the Miqo’te spent the rest of the day brooding over something that wasn’t Thancred Waters.

But then a few days later Rael had reached the point where they had enough.

One late afternoon they had found A’vi picking at his food while once again staring across the room, where Thancred sat at the bar with one arm around the shoulders of an annoyingly giggling Miqo’te girl. It was painful to watch, both Thancred and his conquest being so obliviously obnoxious as well as A’viloh’s reaction to it, but apart from this it was mostly infuriating. Rael wasn’t even sure who they wanted to yell at the most. So after wordlessly watching for a minute or another they lost their temper and growled at A’viloh.

“Are you mad!? You can’t seriously tell me that this -“, they hissed, silently enough not to catch any attention, gesturing towards the bar. “THIS is what you want? To be stupid! And replaceable! And forgotten before morning!?”

Slightly shocked A’viloh had stared at them for a moment, like he just realised it was the truth, before he wordlessly shook his head and sighed. It wasn’t fair that Rael had lashed out at him, they knew that, but seemingly he needed someone to tell him how ridiculous all of this was. Nonetheless he still looked sad of course, so this time it had been Rael, who had decided to take A’viloh and flee as far away as possible, seeking refuge in their house near Limsa again.

Of course this wouldn’t solve anything and they couldn’t avoid that bastard forever, but there was nothing else Rael could do about it. (Unless you counted maiming or murder a reasonable approach of course.) They simply hoped that A’viloh would soon come to his senses and realise how stupid it was to care about someone as ruthless as Thancred Waters.

***

And now this impossible man had the nerve to show up at their door! Obliviously grinning at that! They really wanted to strangle him. “What are you doing here, Thancred?”, they asked with a way too sweet tone and a strained smile, that somehow looked threatening.

“Ah! Very good question!”, he answered and laughed obliviously. “The two of you haven’t shown me your house yet! So I thought I‘d visit and see for myself!”

The carefully put together smile on Rael’s face faded as quickly as it had appeared. There was no way they would be able to remain friendly towards him even one second longer. “Well, now that you‘ve seen it, why don’t you go and—”

A’viloh, who until then was silently observing the contents of his ice cream bowl in concentration, at once snapped to attention. Alarmed he stared at the Viera while loudly proclaiming. “That’s so nice of you! Why don’t you come in first and we‘ll get you something to drink?”

He left it to Thancred to let himself in and instead grabbed Rael‘s arm to pull them into the kitchen.

“You can’t say something like this, Rael!”, he argued quietly.

“I can’t say what?”, they raised their eyebrows and didn’t bother very much to speak quietly. What bothered them though, was that A‘viloh still was so disgustingly friendly to him. Rael had thought he had understood by now, that on this man all kindness was wasted. “That, for all I care about, he can go and fuck himself?”

“Rael!”, A’viloh hissed and nervously eyed the door.

“Why?”, they simply retorted angrily, while picking up the bowl A’vi had put down on the counter and putting a light ice spell on it. They would rather have put that spell elsewhere.

“Because it‘s rude!”, the Miqo’te exclaimed. „Also, I don‘t think that would be very accurate to say considering… you know…”

“Please!”, Rael interrupted. “It’s very appalling how much thought you seem to have spared to that topic!”

A’viloh gasped. “What?! You started this! I didn’t!”

So much for gratitude!, Rael thought as they opened their mouth to retort something maybe a little bit too snarky. But just in that moment Thancred’s voice echoed from the living rooms. “You two have such a wonderful house. I already thought the garden was beautiful but in here? What a pretty place!”, he said as he pranced into the kitchen and confidently leaned onto the counter like he owned the whole place. To Thancred’s luck and Rael’s disappointment the knife block was out of the Viera‘s reach.

“Thank you…”, A‘viloh answered while still keeping an eye on Rael. The Hyur looked at them innocently smiling as if he didn’t notice at all in what a dangerous situation he had put himself. Nonchalantly he looked around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “But don’t you think something is missing?”

“Missing??”, Rael echoed and wondered if they should break his nose and see if some of his own blood on the kitchen tiles would suit his taste more. But no! That would just give A‘viloh an opportunity to get unnecessarily worried about him again…

“What do you mean, missing?”, A‘vi asked confused and let his gaze wander through the room as well.

Thancred shrugged. “I don’t know, just a feeling… Are you already completely done with the house or is there anything left you wanted to do?”

“We are more or less done.”, replied the Miqo’te and then added. “Well, Rael still wanted a proper work desk but we didn’t have time for that yet. And maybe something to sit down in the garden or an orchestrion but that would be too much work I‘m afraid…”

Thancred nodded. “Mh, that’s a shame! I think some music would make this place even more cozy…”

(If by cozy he meant the untidy chaos A’viloh had turned their house into these last few days…)

“Right?”, the Miqo’te agreed excitedly. It was disgusting.

Rael had enough of this nonsense. They knew that it would get ugly if they had to hear only a single more word of this conversation. But just as they were about to leave with an inappropriate remark, telling themselves not to care about Thancred being a horrible person and A’viloh being an idiot, all of their linkpearls started to chime at once.

Surprised they stared at each other and then answered the call more or less simultaneously. Minfilia was on the other end of the connection asking if they all could come to the Rising Stones. Then she shortly explained that there had been new information and that all of them were to meet as soon as possible to plan their next move.

Her tone had been serious and all of them knew that this could only either mean one threat or another. While Rael went to the living room table to pick up their grimoire from beneath a heap of papers, Thancred excused himself saying that he would check a few of his own sources before meeting them later.

Rael threw a few things into a bag and went upstairs to change clothes. When they returned some minutes later A’viloh was wandering through the living room with a puzzled expression on his face, ice cream bowl in one hand (of course he wouldn’t let that go to waste!) and lifting the sofa cushions one by one with the other.

Rael sighed. “What are you doing??”

“Please tell me you’ve seen any of my weapons somewhere…”

[officialtayley]

i think social media has become a bit of a blessing and a curse when it comes to these things, without it we wouldn't be able to use our own voices to share resources and stand up for the innocent civilians who are at the heart of this horrible tragedy, and we wouldnt have been able to see nearly half the horrifying shit that is happening in gaza without social media but on the other hand it also inevitably gives voice to those with very contrasting opinions and stances on this, whereas before social media nobody would've been able to share their thoughts on things aside from with the people directly in their real life circles. it's frustrating because a lot of people have the right idea with this, it makes complete sense to want somebody with a large social media following who is known for advocating for the victim in the past (yes, not necessarily ALL conflicts everywhere all the time but this is unique in the sense that it may just be the most horrific we have seen in our lifetimes and one where uniquely, there's not a lot financially we can do to help) to at least point their audience in the direction of ways they may be able to help. one of the biggest things is people feeling useless/helpless at the moment and rallying together to make some noise to people in power is what paramore have done countless times in the past so how is it any different now? just because it isn't geographically a 'local' issue to them the US is still a key, if not the most powerful, figure at the centre of this and with an election coming up it would make sense to be encouraging people to think about what they want.

and even just beyond the fact that they're public figures, at the end of the day they are people just like us. so asking 'what are they gonna do about it?' is dumb and unproductive because what are we, as regular people, doing about it? we're doing whatever we can, because that's all we can do! it's not some abhorrent or overtly demanding thing to ask them, even on just a human level, to participate in the conversation when hayley herself has made it clear countless times that she doesn't care how 'loud' her opinions are she will make them heard. for example, she was so prompt to condemn desantis throughout the summer tour and faced a lot of backlash for that, and yet desantis has come out with a statement wholeheartedly backing US funded arms being sent to the military in israel and now there's nothing to say to him? i love hayley and the guys, i love everything that they've done for their fanbase to make all kinds of people feel welcome but it does feel disheartening. i'm not as disappointed in the band as i am in their fanbase though, this week and the way they've responded to the people who spoke up about how they could be doing more has really shown the ugly side that still persists and probably will forever exist unfortunately

sorry this is so long and sorry to rehash the same points that others have been making a hundred times over, it's just been circling my brain the last few days and not sitting right with me at all. hope you're all good and not getting overwhelmed by the stupidity in your ask box ash ❤️

i agree with everything you have said. you worded it better than i could.

and i'm in the same boat, the fans reaction is far more disappointing because it shows how they truly feel too. it shouldn't have been surprising tbh, i feel like you've never actually been able to criticise the band, hell even over shit as trivial as song opinions people will get extremely defensive and say you see the band as the hayley show, so this reaction has always existed within the fanbase but it's just usually over small and stupid things, so seeing it over something so big and serious, fans trying to throw idle worship in others faces, fans wanting to spew the same thing others did when hayley spoke out against desantis for example, genuinely disappointing.

i'm okay though. i just struggle to word things honestly, so i'm not overwhelmed, just frustrated. but like i said, i won't answer anything about it after today, at least anything that focuses on paramore not speaking up as that shouldn't be the focus.

[cdaae]

Thank you for speaking up about the very real issues in tPotO fandom. You are not the only one to feel unsafe and unwelcome in it from fake allyship. Everyone wants to be an ally until it’s time to do ally stuff. I guess many would rather look the other way to keep the peace but how does that feel to the people affected by these things? I wish this fandom would do better. But from what I have seen I am not hopeful.

This phandom can be so great. I've been here for a long time and I've made some many friends and changed and grown so much over the years. I was young when I first got here and I didn't see a lot of the problems. Then I stepped back for a bit. And now that I'm here as an adult and I’m active again, seeing some of the things going on that don't get addressed... it's disheartening. There are a lot of people here that don't get involved in this kind of thing and I get that. It can be messy and honestly fucking scary to call someone out for being shitty. I still get anxious talking about the Jessica situation- she has a documented history of going after people who try to speak up against her. But it also gets to a point, for me anyway, where I feel like I need to say something. And I don't expect anything from people here. Sometimes I'm just venting. Sometimes I'm trying to give people here a heads up about someone they might come into contact with. It doesn't happen very often. Insolentboi was a big one and now Jessica. And if people don't interact with my posts- there could be many reasons. I don't judge, I don't care. I feel like I've done what I can by speaking up. But what does suck is the people who interact with the posts and act like they care and even share the posts in order to spread awareness and then turn around and continue to be friends with her. I know they know that she's a racist, homophobic bully. So do they not really care? Is their e/c fix more important than not supporting someone like that? As a member of the lgbt+ community, seeing someone pretend like they care here and remain friendly with a homophobe makes me feel unsafe. I know I can't trust you now because whatever you're getting out of her content is more important. Even if her book was really good, I can't understand this.

I had a conversation with someone recently that I'd been friendly with in the past. I showed them some of the things Jessica has done and they acted horrified and were so grateful that I informed them because they wouldn't want to interact with someone like that. And yet... she still goes out of her way to be nice to Jessica. I've talked to a few people about it and it's not because I want them to block her necessarily but because I would want to know if someone I was interacting with was a racist, homophobic bully. But what bothers me is the fake show- when someone reacts just absolutely horrified, when they reblog posts, and say things like "oh I'm definitely not going to read her book"... and then they leave a comment telling her how wonderful her book is. It's the people that know, act like they care, but still continue to show her support that are getting to me. This is the fake allyship- trying to convince me you care about the issue but continuing to openly support the problem.

Sometimes it can be frustrating to try and draw attention to a problem and people here don't say anything. I do wish more of the community would be an active part of these things, because that's how we make change. Jessica wasn't blacklisted from the supernatural fandom until the community spoke out on a large scale and drew attention to the things she was doing. I hope to god we don't let her behavior get as bad as it's gotten in her other fandoms before we finally do something or worse, that we never do anything. Everyone deserves to feel safe in fandom.

Thank you for your message. I'm sorry that you're experiencing the same feelings. Phandom can be so great for sharing ideas and making art and just having community, but there are the ugly parts too.

[prince-toffee]

My review of Rise of the Beasts

It was... okay. I liked like 70% of it. We're inching- we're inching closer and closer to that perfect Transformers movie, but we're not there yet. I gotta say I liked Bumblebee (2018) more but that's not really fair to say because it's my favourite movie of all time, because it was the first time we had proof that live action Transformers movies can be good, the first time that they made a genuine effort and were created by decent human beings. So, this movie can't beat that in my mind. Overall, I'd give this film a 6.5 out of 10

Spoilers obvi

Not sure how to structure this, so I'll just go chronologically through the film and say whatever pops into my head. The opening is fun. Scourge is terrifying. I kind of love that he dispatches Apelink pretty much effortlessly, it's so disheartening and horrifying and it really tells the audience that the main characters are screwed. Look, the bar is so so SO low so when we see Primal sad when Apelink transfers the leadership over to him, you're like ‘Oh my God, there are people, that's great’. Voice acting in general is great, Peter Dinklage sounds great as Scourge. Ron Pearlman as Primal is phenomenal.

There wasn't much depth to Scourge, he's just evil for the sake of being evil, but he's good at being evil for the sake of being evil, but honestly I’m kind of disappointed because I thought I heard Steven Capel Jr say he wanted the villain to not just be plain evil, so I think some scenes could have been cut out. Unicron mentions that Scourge, Nightbird, and Battletrap are survivors of a world he consumed, but... why? Why did he pick them? I thought Scourge was like in a Silver Surfer situation like ‘hey don't eat my world and I'll lead you to other worlds’ and that's why he keeps serving Unicron to protect his home, that way there is a parallel there between OP and Scourge, they both want to go back to and protect their home, Scourge is what OP could be if not for the character arc he embarks on. Which would have been great. But we didn't really get that. But you have no idea how happy I was to hear that OP was getting a character arc, like I said the bar is on the floor.

Now... a major gripe here:... I noticed a plot hole. So, the Maximals use the Transwarp Key to escape through space and time and go back in time to earth, right? Airazor mentions she's from their ‘past and future’ and Primal mentions that he was named after Optimus. So, they are from the future. So... how does Scourge know them? How does Unicron know them? Shouldn't they be like WTF this weird energy signature just appeared, what is this? Who are these people? An easy fix would have been if Scourge and Co grab onto the ship and follow them through the portal and they get lost along the way somewhere in space that's why they're not on earth from the get go and then they are drawn to the planet by the key being activated and then once they get the key they call Unicron from their future by opening a portal through time.

Human stuff is good. Humans are bearable. Humans have never been better. I actually found myself tearing up at the scenes between Noah and Chris. The Sonic and Tails reference was cute. Calling Mirage Knuckles was extremely adorable too.

I have to admit when the Autobots first appear on screen I got so excited. Loved Arcee, Liza Koshy did a really good job, I really wasn't expecting her to deliver the lines so perfectly, I love the G1/Energon design. Especially the shade of pink they use for her visor it's delightful. I like this interpretation of Arcee, she's like a tech-head, she sounds like a strategist, very much G1/Animated personality. The dynamics between the Autobots are really fun. I love the fact that they actually like each other and are friends.

References to Bee (2018) are much appreciated, thank you.

Mirage is great, love him, a new fan favourite for me, he's funny, he's adorable, he sincere, Pete Davidson did a damn good job. Formula One G1 reference was fun, but that was one of those instances where the CGI wasn't great. His relationship with Noah makes the film alongside with OP's arc.

I like the reasoning behind the Autobots needing him, him being a thief and all that. I like that the humans serve a purpose and it all brilliantly ties in together. I think that the first act is the tightest by far.

So, a new concept introduced in this film is that bots can transform into any vehicle they want no matter the size, that's cool, explains the mass-shifting for others like Shockwave and Megatron, I know some people might have a problem with that, but I actually thought it was fine.

Apart from Prime (show) this is Peter Cullen's best performance yet as Optimus. Love that he distrusts humans and doesn't care for them much at the beginning, I love the guilt and shame that he feels for pretty much losing the war and getting his Autobots stranded on a backwater planet I love all of those scenes with Optimus.

Would have loved to see that deleted scene with OP killing Transit and hunting Decepticons and dumping their bodies into the Hudson, that sets the perfect tone for his journey and the mental state that he's in.

But on the other hand I like the fact that without this scene the Decepticons haven't made it to earth yet, not diminishing Bee’s victory at the end of the last film.

Humans don't see the beacon, that's cool. Explains why the police don't just show up right away.

Those BayFrenzy-looking things, hate them, once again that Bayverse garbage from the producers is leaking in. There's a lot of good stuff from Steven Caple Jr here to counterbalance that. And all the best stuff from this movie comes from him and his personal rewrites from what I can tell from his interviews. But that God damn Bayhem still pokes its head out from time to time. Like... every villain gets decapitated and is murdered gruesomely. It's completely unnecessary. It doesn't allow for these villains to grow in later sequels which is unfortunate. Stratosphere coughs up an engine, whatever, at least it wasn't a fart joke. Like I said; the bar is on the floor.

The museum fight is fun, it's good, entertaining, we can actually see what's happening. The Terrorcons are formidable. ‘Primus would be ashamed’ what a great quote. Great one liners from Scourge, you can tell that he's a psycho and that he enjoys being a psycho, good stuff.

I wish Nightbird and Battletrap talked more, I wish they had a Shatter/Dropkick relationship. Just something you know? They hate each other / they love each other / they hate but they respect each other / they are plotting against each other. Just something. Anything. But at least they look great, and unique, and you can tell them apart. The voice acting is really good, especially for Nightbird.

I love that OP wants the Transwarp Key to go home, while Noah wants to destroy it, all that stuff makes for fascinating conflict, I really love that. But it makes you wonder though why the Maximals didn't destroy the key themselves. Maybe it can't be destroyed only split, or they secretly hoped they could use it to travel the universe again one day to protect and shepherd different planets as that is their role in this continuity stated by Primal.

OP is furious over the death of Bee, his son, and that's great, the guilt he feels, that shame of losing the war, stranding his Autobots on a planet he doesn’t recognise, the same actions that lead to Bee dying, it's all excellent.

Bee being in a coma gives OP further motivation to get back to Cybertron, every event in this movie is really just hitting him over the head saying ‘you should have never come here’ ‘it's all your fault’.

We meet Wheeljack, he's still ugly, still looks like Urkel, but I actually love him, he's adorable, he actually reminds me a little bit of Earthspark Wheeljack, so I really liked him for like the three scenes he was in, there wasn't really a point to him, he doesn't do anything techy, but he was fun. Paying respect to Peru culture was delightful. The Maximals having a relationship with the indigenous native people is so heart-warming and so joyful to watch. One thing I love about this movie is that they avoid the Chariots of the Gods bullshit, Primal says ‘we cannot take credit for human ingenuity’ this movie gives so much respect and props to indigenous people and poc, it's wonderful. You know a white person did not write that.

I wanted more of the Maximals, because I mean the title is ‘Rise of the BEASTS’. but they kind of stand as the perfect link between the Autobots and the humans, they represent that techno-organic bond, the theme of coexistence, they represent what OP could be and becomes, so they serve their purpose in the movie perfectly fine, but still, wish they were kind of more important. Everyone's voices sound great, it all fits, I would love to hear more of these voice actors.

The Peru battle is good. OP is pissed and I love that, when Scourge is around he can't keep a cool head because of the emotional turmoil he feels inside after losing Bumblebee, I love that he finally feels emotions and isn't just monotone all the time.

Now, Scourge has some weird trackers that corrupt you and turn you evil, so... why doesn't he use them all the time? At least say he only has one, or it costs something to produce them, that's why he can't use them all the time. I guess also the reason is he enjoys killing his victims with his own hands, it's a sport to him.

I wish we had more emotional scenes with Airazor so that when she dies it would have had a bigger impact on us. It's sad, because you're getting to see Primal and Airazor as friends, but only for a little bit and it's sad because you see him crush her chest, but the transformers films still have the same problem of cutting to humans reacting dramatically to the dramatic thing happening rather than showing us it. And if it's too horrifying to focus on her chest caving in, focus on Primal’s sorrowful face or on Airazor’s face as she dies as the light leaves her eyes. Either or.

I think the movie really shines in its first and second act, and the third act is kind of the weakest. I think the third act suffers from generic Avengers faceless army syndrome. It looks great. When these CGI people are fighting in a CGI world it works and it looks like everything fits, but still it's very generic.

Also, a small rant incoming, when Mirage knocks Scourge’s ‘mask’ off, we cut away from Scourge, we see he pick up the mask and we dramatically reveal... what? Nothing. Is it Bayverse OP, because becoming a psychopath was his arc in those movies, no it's not because it's the same producers working on these films so there's no way we could make fun of the Bay films, those films bought them seven different beach houses they think that they are good films. So, is it someone OP knows from his past? No. Is it at least an Easter egg for fans, is the G1 Scourge? Is it RID 2001 Scourage? Is it Cybertron (show) Scourge? Nope! It’s just some guy. He's nobody. So many missed opportunities.

That moment with Mirage protecting Noah, the conversation with his brother, it's all super emotional and phenomenally acted by Anthony Ramos. All good stuff.

The suit CGI is unfortunately not great. I did like the whole homage to Daniel’s suit from The Transformers The Movie 1986 and to Kicker/Sari’s suit from Energy/Animated.

I wish the temptation of Unicron would last a bit longer, like maybe we see OP being tempted with a vision of his greatest desires, like he's back on Cybertron with Elita, the war is over, Megatron is defeated, you know? Just do something more with it.

Overall, I liked Bumblebee more, but it's okay I'd give it a 6.5 out of 10

[vencyrus]

just gonna rapid fire some awful thoughts that would make my brother hit me over the head with a metal bat // just kidding i accidentally started ranting about my bpd

as an aromantic that is desperately clawing at the chance to feel love, i fear i would become a "he know where home at" kinda gal but i think the concept, while horrifying irl, would make such a beautiful literary device

i have been drawing myself for goretober but not posting any of it bc i think it might be a form of self harm and i dont want to face this problem with my therapist yet

me posting art is actually exposure therapy as suggested by my therapist for my bpd because i crave attention in such a bad way that it actively affects my mood and motovation for weeks at a time when i spend so much time on something only to recieve no recognition for it

this honestly would be a non issue if my friends would actually talk to me bc i used to be okay with sharing things with just the two of them but theyre both so busy all the time and they dont really make the effort to talk to me so it is so disheartening that i dont even try to talk to them that much anymore

i want to make new friends bc i got some rly cool mutuals and ive met some rly nice ppl in the mistria server but i fear i am not in the proper headspace to be making new friends and my therapist agrees but it has been so lonely lately

i also have not had an FP in like years which is really good progress but thats also such a long time to be lonely. im a very codependant person. ive spent so much of my younger days attached to people that i really dont know who i am without that but id like to find out.

i think the combination of aromantic and boderline personality disorder is going to end me bc i want to be able to give my entire being to one person so much that it hurts to be away from them and i want them to feel the same way but i cant love them in a way that truly matters and thats just not fair for them. and im not being fair to myself either because im just essentially looking for someone to leech onto, someone to tell me how i should feel, someone to emulate, someone to admire. ive spent so much of my life being other people i dont think ive ever known how to be myself

i cannot feel the calm i feel when im drawing. its becoming such a vicious cycle of drawing to decompress then spending the next few hours stressing when something doesnt do well then drawimg again. lather rinse repeat

anyway! i hate being vulnerable but man does it feel good to throw this all out into the void. its like letting loose a message in a bottle out to sea. so just to balance all that, let me just say some out of pocket stuff since no one is gonna read this far into it.

im a coulro/dacry/hemo-phi11iac.

one time, in the middle of a Hook^ my partner noticed my glasses faintly glew in the dark so she wanted to turn off the lights so i could pretend to be the invisible man from hotel translyvania

this dude was tryna be flirty by speaking french but my native language is super ugly tbh and im not fluent in chamorro or carolinian bc im so disconnected with the other side of my herritage so i just whispered omae wa moe shindeiru in return

[bonefall]

something that I feel like is ignored by everyone in the fandom is how lionblaze didn’t even mean to kill russetfur. he was trying to get her of off firestar, who she was killing, and she wouldn’t let go so he pulled harder and she broke. i haven’t read the books in a good few years but I remember that he was horrified. yeah, battling is their whole culture, and cats inevitably die from it, but everyone saw him as a monster for something he didn’t even mean to do. honestly, I feel like he would’ve been justified in scratching flametail up a bit when he walked over the border and started taunting him. medicine cats must also follow the warrior code, which means no trespassing

another thing is that everyone gives him crap for like. imagining himself killing heathertail even though they were definitely intrusive thoughts and he was clearly upset about them. as someone with intrusive thoughts myself it’s pretty disheartening to see people talk about how that makes him an obviously bad person (cat?)

i want people to acknowledge that he’s scared by his own strength, that he’s scared he’ll hurt those he cares about, and that he was very much struggling after accidentally killing russetfur. yes, he’s really not that good of a character, but he still has internal conflicts and a personal story, and after a certain point he just sees himself as a war machine, something to be used for the good of the clan, no matter how he feels about it

ShadowClan's hypocrisy in that battle always frustrated me in general. At various points in TNP, Po3, AND OotS, ShadowClan openly and flagrantly disrespects the code and attacks over this border constantly. Then the minute ThunderClan retaliates at all, suddenly they have to hand-wring about how sad it is that it came down to this

Russetfur can kill whoever she wants but Lionblaze defending his leader? That's just too far I guess. Like what happened to the goddamn Battle Culture? These pansies would never survive a battle for Sunningrocks.

I remember being a kid and wanting this battle for SEVERAL books, and then getting to this battle and... honestly I can't really remember much after it. It probably actually made me ragequit lmao. I definitely did not get to Flametail's death.

Bonefall Lionblaze

Anyway I spoke about the fight from a Bonefall Rewrite lens a couple days ago if you'd like to see that, including how I want Lionblaze to take away how he feels like Bramblestar used him as a war machine, Dovepaw thinks it's ironic he resents the very thing he's doing to her, and also what the political ramifications will be in ThunderClan (mixed but neutral).

In addition this battle is now going to actually be something that Bramblestar could have avoided. Firestar is dead by the end of Po3, so there's no need for false signs anymore. Bramble just throws his weight around; ShadowClan doesn't act like the hypocrites they are in-canon either.

As for Lionblaze, he is getting a full character arc in Po3! The climax of it is during the reworked Tribe Visit, where the Clan cats help to remove Flick's rogues. Lionblaze learns a lesson too well; that the point of strength is to use it to protect others, and the mindset causes him to shove his daughters Ivypool and Dovewing into harm's way.

Though I'm also working out how much of Lionblaze being terrified of his powers is staying, and what it will look like. I think a problem with canon is that so much of it really gets lost... because he DOES become a short-fused, impulsive war machine after OotS.

In-canon he almost mauls Heathertail, DOES maul Crowfeather, kills Russetfur, takes a life from Harestar, and infamously threatens Shadowsight... and only one of these actions was accidental.

In my rewrite I'm actually MASSIVELY mitigating this by removing the mauling and giving that to Hollyleaf... and I'm considering what sort of person he's going to be post-OotS as well, if threatening what is now his GRANDSON (father of dovewing) is actually something Bonefall Lionblaze would do.

But... I do try to hold close to canon. So the question comes down to;

Keep the earlier material where he is grappling with intrusive thoughts, and write a less violent character in future arcs

Eliminate the intrusive thoughts so that his later, current canonical personality isn't bad rep.

I am leaning more heavily towards eliminating the intrusive thoughts, in this situation. I value my portrayals of neurodivergency and I am feeling that the way I plan to write this character (pro-war, assertive, being feared by other Clans) would make for really bad implications if he was also dealing with intrusive thoughts, and not just standard legitimate "oh god i cant control my own strength" thoughts.

I'm still unsure though. Let me know what you think I should do in this situation. I can elaborate if more context is needed.

Canon Lionblaze and bad mental health rep

in-canon, the problem is Lionblaze doesn't just have intrusive thoughts that terrify him and he desperately avoids- he has violent, impulsive actions to match and is a legitimate danger to the people who anger him, before and after losing his powers.

(the 'after' is important because this is not only a result of magic powers)

Squirrel it away under canon's horrible representation of mental illness; the only character that has ever had intrusive thoughts in canon is "holding back impulses" he acts on with increasing frequency. It is a very problematic concept to begin with.

For those who don't know; Intrusive thoughts are unwanted by definition.

An intrusive thought is the worst possible thing your mind can conjure up in that moment and are very upsetting to experience. Whims are not intrusive thoughts. They're common with anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD; and it is extremely rare (and a sign of a BIG problem) that they are ever acted on.

To be clear though... Lionblaze has not had an intrusive thought that we know of since OotS. After worrying that he would hurt Cinderheart, but then cat-marrying her... it seems like they've just gone away.

It could be that we aren't in his POV anymore, or, it could be that they've abandoned this aspect of the character. Considering that TBC Lionblaze has ended up changing into a character that is a lot more violent and impulsive, it seems to be the second option.

[al-n-cartoons]

Let's talk about season three of The Owl House, shall we?

Hi, I’m Wakerrife, and I have thoughts about season three of The Owl House. Here I shall discuss how episode three could have been so much better.

There are a lot of issues with the writing this season, and I mean that in a very particular way: the serious events is good, but the focus on characters (thus the emotions) rather sucks. It’s clear that, given the shortened run time, the show has increasingly been cramping its story tighter and tighter so as to cover as much as it can and that’s a problem. The character beats ring hollow.

For the Future just bounces from different plots for different characters the entire time, each person being some degree of miserable, the tone is saturated (more on that later). With the time restrictions in mind, the show’s priorities should have been re-evaluated and subsequently dealt with.

Take Hunter for example. What happens to him at the end of Thanks to Them is atrocious and it’s barely story relevant. He certainly acts the part for what’s happened to him (being restless, irritable, and teary) but it’s peripheral at best. Honestly, I would have preferred Thanks to Them be the last episode he plays a pivotal role in because (1) you do not kill someone’s closest loved one and then have that not be central focus and (2) in spite being many people’s favourite character (myself included), he was introduced to the show far later than the others, thus his story should be allowed to wrap up before the show ends so as to allow focus to be given to the characters built into the show (Luz, Willow, Gus, King, and Eda).

There are inklings in For the Future of an amazing story idea for Hunter where him having Flapjack’s magic is a show that one’s loved ones will always be with them, but because it’s barely a part of the story we get, it should have been cut.

Keep the fight scene in Thanks to Them, keep Hunter being paranoid and lashing out, keep the possession, keep Belos going after Flapjack– all of that could work and was great to see), but have Flapjack be injured or have Hunter fight off Belos the moment Flapjack gets put in harm's way.

Actually, heck, move the fight scene to be earlier in the episode, maybe about midway through. Why would we do that, you might ask? Simple, make the fight and Flapjack getting hurt not be the climax but the catalyst. What’s the point of this episode? It’s titled “Thanks to Them”. Really think of it for a second: Thanks. To. Them. Willow has things to be thankful for regarding the Boiling Isles, as do Gus, Luz, and Amity. Hunter has only pain, isolation, scorn, and fear to associate with the Isles (save for maybe near the very end when Willow and Gus adopt this sassy stray). The human world thus far has been a place of peace for him, take the scene in which Hunter talks about sewing and wolves. Take Gus’ response of being disheartened to what he has lost (his father and home). There is a split in priorities, use it.

In the human realm, Hunter seems to have settled into a far more domestic role. He enjoys passive activities (sewing) that keep him productive and allow for him to relax. Make then the threat of combat horrifying; a source of anxiety and a trigger for his trauma. He just escaped that life, would he really want to go back to it? Would his friends really want him to? Luz says that she needs to keep Hunter safe in that one (amazing and sweet) scene, could that not build into the idea that the best thing for Hunter is to remain in the human realm if that is what he so chooses? He’d act like he wants to go back and help them all return to their families, and they’d certainly want him to come along, but could he go?

This is why the events with Belos should remain. Hunter has found a respite in the human realm, Belos threatens that, and panic begins to claw its way through once things have settled. If Flapjack is hurt, Hunter takes to attending him. Let’s say that Belos escaped and that they’re all still looking for the last bit that allows them to return to the isles. Hunter begins to creep out of the story’s focus, his plot giving way to that of the other characters who are still looking for the door. Have Hunter be with Vee, who might know how to treat wounds caused by having magic drained from you given what she is and her history.

Contrasts are very important for any medium. As aforesaid, the tone is saturated; muddled. This is why Hunter’s story should be sidelined in the second half of the episode; the audience needs a chance to breathe. Luz should not have been written to mope given that she is who carries the show’s tone. Have Amity or Gus be the moping one, or have all of the friends (homesick and missing their families) be the ones struggling emotionally. Luz has mounted her father’s death, managed her neurodiversity, and always responded to trauma proactively. Keep her missing Eda and King but have her be more… optimistic? Reminiscing? Have her still be making drawings of them and of glyphs, but make sure that her energy is always positive (angry at Belos and/or the Collector rather than sad and resentful of her actions).

If the moping and sadness is omnipresent or near constant, it loses weight. That is why a whimsical or cozy tone makes the emotional beats that much better; the contrast. Seeing a very sad person cry is a continuation of previous behavior; having a peppy or outgoing person cry is an escalation.

So Luz, Gus, Amity, and Willow are all running around on the search, the tone gradually getting more and more jovial as this lead turning into a genuine hope; they are going home. They can rejoin their families. Of course, Luz still has school and it might take a while to get there, so the search goes on over the course of a few days. Include some scenes of Hunter, Vee, and Flapjack together (with Flapjack recovering)-- maybe have a scene in which they all run around town exploring (that one zoo scene). Make it clear that Hunter loves this new home and that the others are making the best of it, everyone besides Hunter running off for the search once Luz gets off from school.

Then they find the portal. How, you might ask? Well, probably from spotting Belos who has also been on the hunt. Maybe have someone message Camila, Hunter, and Vee (those who had not been on the hunt) telling them to come fast (just before anyone spots Belos). Have this be after the possession attack, have it be that everyone else arrives just as Luz and co. chase down Belos. Have Hunter just manage to see Belos and panic. Camila and Vee try to get him out of his panic attack, meanwhile Willow, Gus, Luz, and Amity are on the move, attacking. Belos manages to open the portal and leaves, whomever has the most to reclaim bounds after the portal (probably Willow), and is stopped by someone else (maybe Gus), made to realize that Hunter is on the ground… He can’t slow down his breathing and Camila has gotten him to put his head between his knees. Hunter, unable to control himself, admits to them all that he can’t go back and that Flapjack might get hurt again. This is the climax, this is when the title “Thanks to Them” best applies. Thanks to his previous life, Hunter is scarred. He wants to be there for his friends, but– Willow assures him that they’ll be fine and that they all love him, they all get a moment, and Hunter and Vee stay behind in the human world. Boom, a careful use of one’s time and resources that tells a good story (and still gets the plot to where the writers want it; with Luz and co. going through the portal).

Okay, great, but I did pretense this with my discussion being about the newest episode. How does any of this affect it? Well, it makes the message more positive, acts as a conclusive story to one of the characters so that more time and focus can be spent more economically, and would allow for the main, main, main characters to play out their stories.

Let’s keep For the Future about Luz and Willow, and let’s keep both of their plotlines/themes: Willow’s trying to be brave and supportive (and is slowly drowning in her own anguish), Luz is stressing about her palismen and the decision to never return to the Boiling Isles once they’re done. Good? Good. Camila, Gus, and Amity (love me some cute romance and sapphic adorableness) are all on point, so keep them as they are. Let’s go.

Remember, we want to keep the tone fairly whimsical or else the heavier moments ring hollow. They’re good scenes to watch clips of, but not great when put into a story, at least not nearly as good as it can be and that’s my problem.

How do we keep the theme but maintain a good tone? Well, first off, either make Luz’s plan on never returning either a niggling voice in the back of her head (not a literal voice, but make it clear that she’s considering it) or make the decision one that creeps in as the Collector’s effects on the land and people become more apparent. The Collector is playing a game as the role of Luz (sort of), use that as a sort of guilt. “King wouldn’t have sacrificed himself if he hadn’t needed to protect me”, that sort of thing.

As for Willow’s story, it's mostly fine as is. Since Hunter is no longer around (I’m too maternal for this, hiss) the role of snapping Willow out of her distress goes to someone else. An important line to keep in the story is the bit where Willow is told to never call herself “half a witch” again, but Gus is used to her self-deprecating and used to her calling herself that, so he’s out. He’s still being comforted by Willow and follows after her when she goes to repress her emotions, but the line goes to someone else (Put a pin in that). Instead, have Gus say or do something that conveys the message “you’ve always been my shoulder to lean on, but you need shoulders, too”. Obviously Gus-afy it, but that’s besides the point.

Let’s have these two plotlines merge, shall we? Luz isn’t as used to Willow calling herself “half a witch” and would be much more unlikely to be okay with it. Let’s have Luz reiterate what Camila tells her about mistakes being a part of life (thus Luz accidentally tricking herself into internalizing the message) and have Gus join in (with the shoulders thing). Have Gus and Luz be cheering Willow on as she goes off, venting and crying about everything she’s lost (like she does in the show) (I think Amity is off doing the side plot still?).

Prior to this, with Luz, Luz has been mulling over what Amity tells her regarding how she managed to bond with Ghost via discovering what drives her. Luz concludes that (1) she needs a staff so as to better help make things better (as carrying around and tending to an egg is more of a liability) and (2) if she wants this egg to hatch, she needs to figure out what drives her. Luz goes on to repeatedly verbalize the different things she thinks drives her (diegetically allowing for the thought of her own guilt and the possibility of staying in the human realm to slip out). It would help with the tone, too, per how naturally silly it is for someone to run around in the apocalypse shouting affirmations at everyone. I’m just imagining Luz shouting that she wants to reunite with Eda and King, to which those littler kids to shout back the bit where tey long to feed on the blood of their enemies.

Willow having her vent (and maybe Gus and Luz joining in, talking about what all they miss and wish they had) could be how Luz comes to say the whole “I wish to be understood and accepted” thing. Maybe precede it with Willow wishing that Hunter had come with them and Gus wishing that Hunter had told them about being a grimwalker. Use their acceptance of Hunter as he is and of his decisions bleed into acceptance of Luz (being not a witch) and her decisions/actions. They might not have said that acceptance because why would they think there to be a need? They’ve always accepted Luz; their unconditional acceptance of Hunter is simply a catalyst for Luz to internalize their acceptance of her. Also, Willow and Gus love her, sure, but wasn’t Willow technically keeping them out by refusing to be vulnerable with them? Wouldn’t them all having this talk be a new level of acceptance?

Also, tone down the reveal for String Bean. the slowly cracking, massive glowing thing didn’t really do it for me, probably because Luz’s self discovery was practically breeze through in this episode? There was technically set up for it, but also it kind of just… happened? It felt less like a character beat and more like “Achievement Reached” popping up on a screen. Showing us the cracking and glowing kind of distracts from the message and emotional impact. Have the sound of cracking included, but make it unintrusive. Let there be a comfortable lull in the friend’s venting and screaming (Luz’s admission of wanting to be accepted and realizing that she is being a more subdued, more heartwarming. In the quiet, the light shifts and the reveal of String Bean comes to compliment the scene rather than supersede it. The group cheers, Luz cries, they all hug, and the tone begins to shift into something near comedic as String Bean runs about shapeshifting and being precious. The group wipes their tears, grins at each other, and returns to the fight. Let them be epic and ready for what is to come, as they are in the scene.

Side note: Is the stuff with the Collector really… necessary? Might be better to focus on King and have his scenes be about him when the Collector isn’t around. I do think we should keep the reading scene…. Hm….. Less Collector lets Eda actually play a role and could have them actually do something (like planning what to do, trying to test the potion for Eda, or try to figure out how to free the doll people. Just saying.

This got loooong. I need you to know that I paused at one point to go eat ice cream, and I want you to try and find the point at which I ventured off. Happy hunting [Runs away].

[the-random-phan]

Ectober Day 30- Summoning

(links to FFnet and Ao3 will be added later. If you see this message, check the original.)

“Whyyyy,” Danny complained. His bedroom faded from around him as it was bathed in neon green light. He was vaguely glad that his door was closed and hoped no one had been in the hallway to witness the light show.

Danny hated being summoned. It didn’t happen often, but every time it did it was never a good experience. As soon as he felt the tug of the summon Danny had transformed. Wouldn’t do well to have Fenton show up when someone expected Phantom. That would lead to a whole slew of questioning he didn’t want to deal with.

Suddenly Danny fell to the ground, landing with a thump on… tile? The light left black spots all over Danny’s vision, and he blinked them away. Slowly his surroundings came into view and, honestly, he didn’t know what he’d been expecting. Maybe like guys in hoods with a sacrifice of some sort? Not… this.

“Phantom!” Paulina squealed. She dropped the book she’d been holding and clapped in excitement. A roar of applause broke out that startled Danny more than he would admit. He was in a classroom he immediately identified as Mr. Lancer’s.

Yup. That’s right. Bewildered, Danny looked at the group of about 15 people surrounding him and came to a horrifying conclusion.

He’d been summoned by Casper High’s own “Phan” Club. A group technically dedicated to ‘the study of ectology all all of the creatures that haunt our town,’ but everyone knew that it was really just an excuse to get together and talk about Phantom. (As Danny had been horrified to learn.)

Whispers broke out all around him and suddenly Danny felt very self-conscious. He stood up and brushed off his clothes. He thought for a moment before speaking (for once in his half-life.)

“Why am I here?” He asked. Which was, as he realized in that moment, not the right thing to ask. It seemed like he broke some sort of dam, as suddenly he was being hugged by at least 6 different people, Paulina included. She was practically hanging off of him. Danny had no idea what to do- he couldn’t really just push them, that might come off as too aggressive-

“Guys! Step back, give him some space!” Oh, there was Star. His savior.

“He won’t answer our questions if we aren’t nice.” Nevermind. He took back his praise. The huggers sighed almost in unison and stepped back. They regained their previous positions- which were standing in a circle around him.

Danny caught sight of what he was standing on when they retreated. He wasn’t fluent in summoning circles but he was pretty sure they weren’t normally drawn in dry erase marker. However, the glyphs he did recognize didn’t look very good. If he interpreted the inner ring correctly, it was a mark of binding. So basically he wouldn’t be able to leave unless they sent him back, or the circle ran out of energy. Great.

“How in the world did you manage to summon me with a circle done in dry-erase marker?” Danny gave voice to his thoughts.

“Oh! I borrowed a book from a goth loser, she left it on her desk next to me so she basically gave me permission to use it.” Paulina said almost proudly.

“So you stole it?” Danny questioned with arms crossed and a raised brow. But it didn’t seem to dishearten Paulina.

Sam had been so mad when her book disappeared last week, but she hadn’t been able to name a suspect. She had even asked Paulina specifically if she’d seen it, and the A-Lister just said that she didn’t have time to keep track of ‘loser stuff.’

“I just borrowed it! Now,” Paulina gained a dangerous glimmer as she looked him in the eyes.

“What’s your star sign?” She said, completely serious.

“My what?” Danny asked incredulously.

“Did you just summon me here to ask weird questions?!” The nod Paulina gave was all-too eager.

“I also wanted to ask you out!” Exclaimed a girl from behind him. She made no effort to hide her eyes roaming over him. Creep!

Multiple others spoke out about them also wanting to take him on a date, and it seemed almost like the arguments which broke out were about to devolve into a group fist fight. Thinking fast, Danny thought of the first thing to come to mind.

“Uh- sorry, I like dudes.” Judging by the silence following one would have thought that Danny had just admitted he loved murdering puppies. Danny thought that had successfully calmed the storm, but then suddenly Dash just had to pop up out of nowhere.

“O-okay!” He shouted, face red as a tomato. Danny’s face turned equally as green.

“I’m not gonna date any humans, ok? That’d just be weird!” He yelled.

“I am like, hundreds of years old, you know.” Danny insisted. He hoped that wouldn’t leave any jock-shaped loopholes.

“But didn’t you just die last year?” Ok, that caught him by surprise. It had become common knowledge that Phantom was historically super old. Danny whipped around to see the speaker. Her face was vaguely familiar, and Danny recognized her as an old classmate of Jazz’s- they’d worked on a psychology project together.

“And why would you think that?” Danny questioned defensively. Thanks to his time-traveling shenanigans there were definite records and accounts of him from centuries ago. Nothing could refute those, right?

“Well- you mannerisms, for one. They aren’t something that can be so easily faked, they’re too natural. It made me suspicious when it started going around that your were super old. So I emailed the Fentons about it, and they told me that the Ghost Zone is unpredictable and time manipulation is fully within the realm of possibilities. Not to mention the fact that-” She kept going for another handful of minutes, detailing exactly why he couldn’t be as old as he claimed.

Danny wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or totally freaked out. One thing he did know was that this girl was crazy. Loco. Insane in the membrane. Who would devote that much time to studying him? She talked about a lot of details and contradictions in all of his stories that he hadn’t even realized could be weak points.

“And that’s how I know that you died sometime around summer before last.” She grinned wildly, looking up at him almost as though seeking validation for her theory. All at once, Danny felt like a book writer or movie star being asked for details on their new project. Except, y’know, it was a theory about when he died. What even is his life?

“Uh, cool?” Danny responded awkwardly. But the excitement didn’t fade from her eyes.

“That’s... a lot. And I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.” Her shoulders fell and tears welled up in her eyes. The guy next to her put a comforting hand on her shoulder. An immense wave of guilt went over Danny, but it wasn’t really his fault! He was just protecting his identity, a perfectly good cause!

“Are you gonna answer my question?” Paulina whined.

“I dont even know what a star sign is!” Huffed Danny. He threw his hands in the air.

“What I also don’t know is why you guys thought summoning me would be the right thing to do. Do you know how horrible it is? To just be ripped away from whatever you’re doing and trapped somewhere? It’s basically kidnapping!”

“You aren’t exactly the easiest person to get a hold of, y’know! What other choice did we have?” Shouted a sophomore to his left.

“Oh I dunno, maybe actually talking to me like a normal person?! I come to this school like seven times a week, most of the time fighting in the halls and then checking on people afterward. It is no excuse that you couldn’t flag me down at some point.”

“Wait- what’s that sound?” Danny asked. It was like somebody... hitting metal with a hammer? He racked his brain, really hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was,

“Oh that’s just the Fentons, they’re installing a ghost shield in the cafeteria down the hall.” Paulina said casually.

“If you don’t know what a star sign is, how about blood type?” She asked hopefully.

“Okay one, who even knows what their blood type is, and two, did you just say the Fentons? He ones who literally hate my guts?” Paulina had the gall to just sit there and nod, all smiles.

“Mine’s AB negative- it’s the rarest!” She continued talking about nonsense like blood compatibility and more mumbo jumbo he didn’t entirely understand. But Danny was more focused on the sense of dread that washed over him, caused by a quiet voice down the hall.

“There is a ghost standing 50 feet in front of you. If you can’t see it, check that the lights are on.”

“Send me back! Right now, before they see!” Danny shouted, breaking Paulina’s stream of babble.

“Why should we do that? We put all this effort into getting you here!” Protested the Creep from earlier. Oh, Danny wanted to pull his hair out. Or more accurately, pull her hair out.

“There is a ghost is on your next right. No, your other right.”

“Do you want me to double die? Or get experimented on? Send me home!” Danny commanded.

“Ok, ok, let me find the page”. Paulina huffed. She started going through it about as slowly as possible. Meanwhile Star started talking about how he must be an Aries because of how brave he was, always flying headfirst into battle. (Her words, not his).

“You have arrived at your ghostly destination. Proceed with caution.”

Danny was left with one option. And oh man it was a bad one. With a deep breath, he reverted to human form. The rings of light faded just as a head popped in the doorway.

“Oh- hi Danno!” Jack greeted. He waved wildly, and Danny returned it awkwardly.

“Hi Dad!” Danny said with a fake smile. Jack didn’t seem to catch on to the tension in the air.

“I didn’t realize you were here! Guess that’s why this stupid thing started going off.” Jack laughed, smacking the Fenton Finder, which sputtered out in the middle of “You would have to be an idiot or blind to not see-”

“Well, I’ve gotta get back to setting up this ghost shield. Have fun with your new friends!” And with that, his dad disappeared down the hallway. Danny let out a small sigh of relief.

“That… makes a lot of sense.” Said theory-girl.

[arctichotch]

the media's support for johnny depp is distressing and alienating for someone like me, who experienced years of domestic violence before fleeing.

this woman has piles of evidence of the shit johnny depp has done to her and it still isnt enough apparently. its actually horrifying watching the precedent this is setting for abuse victims.

i wish the worst upon everyone who supports johnny and helps him

as someone who’s never been in that situation, it’s so distressing and just generally upsetting, so i can’t even imagine having experienced it and seeing all this shit 💞 i’m sorry that the media is such a huge piece of shit

i have to believe that the tide will change. it’s honestly sometimes the only way i stay sane knowing that the world is such an unsafe place for those who have been abused. and that at some point people will open their eyes and understand domestic violence as a whole since it is something that plagues society so intensely.

like amber heard is an example of an extremely well documented case with her having collected evidence consistently throughout their relationship. and to see people not believe that amount of evidence and amber having the resources she has and still facing this hell, it’s just so disheartening to think of those who don’t have that kind of evidence/resources.

there’s some really really horrible precedents, especially for how a victim should present during/after the relationship. i just hope that people wake up soon and see this is a bigger issue than some celebrity divorce feud and is ingraining dangerous ideas even deeper into our society

these people are doing so much damage to the already dodgy way abuse (whether it be dv, rape etc) is perceived by those on the outside. and i think some of them even realise that. but they just don’t care because they hate amber just that much. it’s just so upsetting. or it’s those mindlessly encouraging this shit, like that whole pewdiepie/jacksepticeye thing, or the doja cat tiktok or billie eilish saying it’s a celebrity divorce trial or smth. it’s just so ..

these people are scum without a care in the world for what this means for survivors coming forward in the future. hell, not even just those wanting to come forward. but for those who may not even realise they’re being abused because their injuries mightn’t compare to those of rihannas. or their abuser is generous and kind sometimes. it’s just so dangerous and it’s all so infuriating that these abusive behaviours are being normalised.

i want to shake these people awake but they also disgust me so much that i wouldn’t want to be within 6ft of them

[seriouslysam8]

Can I ask something bluntly? Why do some people here in the comments act so... strange and weird about unimportant stuff? I remember when you first started Legerdemain and it was all great and amazing and people interacting here on you blog was a cherry on to top and fans were actually asking thought-provoking and interesting questions, but after some time it got... weird.

Suddenly all that was important was:

- "No X Character has the biggest and most veiny dick!"

- "Nooo I'm gonna cry because that's not fair to the Y Character! Y Character has the most beautiful humongous dick! And amazing abs! I'm gonna cry if Sam doesn't confirm this!"

Suddenly all that everyone stressed about was: dick size, ass size, attractiveness, height and other trivial stuff.

At first it was all just a good fun, people were mostly joking but honestly I think the tone has shifted after a while. Now, a lot of these people seem genuinely stressed and horrified if their fave character isn't the Best at Everything, which I find both hilarious and weird at the same time.

Can I ask the fandom something? Is dick size/height/physical looks THAT important to you in fictional characters? Are we all really that shallow?

I mean, I know that physical looks are important to some degree but honestly I've seen people here arguing vehemently more about character's genitals rather than their actions/goals/thoughts, which makes me believe you have a very young (I'm guessing female) audience who think having the biggest penis is the most important thing in the world.

Like I said, it was fun at first but I think it got out of hand fast because everyone got so competitive over their fave characters. (Ironically a lot of these people were acting like George, who's main obsession and goal in life was to see Harry's dick so maybe the fans took inspiration from him XD)

Does it bother you sometimes that you receive (forgive me for saying) rather stupid and childish questions about this stuff? That people basically throw virtual temper tantrums if you even slightly disagree with their handcanons about X Y Z's stuff? It sounds so exhausting.

I want to start off by saying I appreciate everyone who reads my stories. I appreciate all of your asks on tumblr. I downright fucking love you if you take the time to write a review and you are my special superstars that I want to hug and squeeze the living daylights out of you.

But this ask hit me hard because it’s something I’ve been feeling for awhile.

Honestly, I don’t know why there is such a fixation about it on my tumblr. I’m not a smut writer and the only thing I can think of is because I dabbled in smut in Legerdemain and in Brio. But it has turned me off to writing smut, to be completely honest. Since I haven’t been writing smut in Legerdemain anymore, I’ve noticed a decrease in not only those asks but in general traction and reviews with the story as a whole which is disappointing.

I’m not going to lie, I do get tired of the dick debate. I’ve said before I don’t have that stuff in my character charts and I don’t really think too much on it. Writing smut was a fun exercise and the initial discussion was fun and interesting… until my opinion was wrong and I wasn’t allowed to have that opinion so I was bombarded with asks to convince me otherwise. Then there were complaints that I didn’t make him big enough or I can’t have James being as big as Albus and Harry or I can’t have Albus bigger or they can’t be a normal big but have to be really fucking big. At the end of the day, I just didn’t care so I just said whatever and put less of that in my stories so it wouldn’t be talked about as much. It was fun at first with the jokes from George or even the debate at first on tumblr, but some of the fun did get sucked out of it.

In short, I get disheartened by it. If I was a smut writer, it would be more on par with my writing. But I don’t write smut. I write angst and complicated storylines. I feel like sometimes nobody cares about the amount of work and effort it takes to write such complicated storylines because I get asked constantly when the next smut scene is or people say the Hinny fandom doesn’t care what the storyline is as long as they’re having lots and lots of sex. So, I don’t know. It is frustrating at times and I wonder why I even post very complicated and complex storylines because very few of my readers seem to fully appreciate it.

[greensaplinggrace]

So you mentioned in another post that you have some strong thoughts on Baghra, especially about how the story frames her as one of the good guys. I would love to hear about it.

@youremotionallystablefriend: I would love to hear you rant about Baghra if you feel like it (and haven’t already)! Personally I don’t think she gets enough constructive critique in the fandom for being the one that brought Aleks up and for the way she treated her pupils and especially Alina :/

Anon: Hello! I love your thoughts on the grisha books. I'm actually interested to hear your take on Baghra

@misku-nimfa: If you are up for it, I would love to read your thoughts on Baghra or your full critique of society in the Grishaverse. Your analysis is really well structured and interesting! ^.^

Anon: Hi! I saw your recent post and was wondering if you'd share more of your thoughts on Baghra?

---

Hello everyone! I was honestly very surprised to see so many people interested in my thoughts on Baghra? I'll share what I can, but please know that this is by no means a full breakdown of her character! It’s just some Thoughts I’ve had, and they’re mostly centered around show Baghra because that’s how I was first introduced to her character. Although IMO book Baghra might actually be even worse.

I’d like to preface this by saying that many of my issues with the treatment of Baghra as a character in fandom come from the wild double standard there seems to be regarding her and the Darkling. Darkling Antis and a vast majority of the people in this fandom who don’t like his character have a disturbing habit of absolutely ripping into the Darkling for all of his faults and then turning around and treating Baghra as some sort of pristine mother figure for the exact same shit.

They’ll talk about how badass she is, how strong she is, how they sympathize with her past (although they’ll continue to dehumanize the Darkling and refuse to sympathize with his own past) and sympathize with the fact that she has to deal with the Darkling (who’s always referred to as a monster she must corral or control, as if he is inhumane and beastly. These particular comments always take on the very distinct tone of victim blaming as well). They’ll laud her for all of these “powerful girlboss” moments as if they aren’t carbon copies of the Darkling’s own behavior - as if they aren’t things Baghra herself taught him. Which is why this is the wildest double standard of all to me, because every horrible action they praise Baghra for is something she taught the Darkling, and something they cannot stand to see in him as well.

It’s as if there’s a disconnect between their consumption of the literature when it comes to the two characters, and I’m of the opinion that it’s largely because Baghra is a woman and a mother and therefore infantilized in the fandom quite a bit. In fact, Bardugo herself often infantilizes many of her female characters in her writing. This is mostly through the process of excusing their terrible deeds, not allowing them to do anything remotely dark, or brushing any morally grey actions under the rug without ever touching upon them. Which puts me in the strange position of knowing I’m supposed to sympathize with Baghra for having to deal with the monster she’s created, and instead feeling resentful of the fact that this bitter woman is held up as this wise old strict teacher instead of the abusive mentor/mother she should have been.

Now, here’s what I said to make so many of you send me asks:

Last note, in reference to your first line, and also probably a pretty unpopular opinion. I do not like Baghra. And it legit has nothing to do with the Darkling or with Alina, I just don't like her "I'm going to hit you and berate you and emotionally abuse you and manipulate you and act like the good guy at the end of it" vibe she's got going on. At least Aleksander is acknowledged as the villain within the narrative. Idk wtf Baghra is on but it's absolutely wild to me that people aren't more critical of her actions. Which is, rather fortunately for you, another rant I will save for another post if anybody ever wants to hear it lol. (but like kudos to Baghra's actress. I loved the character as a character, I just don't like the way she's framed as a good guy. Weird. Uncomfortable. She literally set bees on the kids she was teaching).

This basically summarizes most of my thoughts on Baghra as a character and how she’s portrayed. I touched on it a bit above, but the way she’s able to get away with so much and not suffer under heavier critique is honestly baffling to me. There should be a lot more criticism of her out there in the fandom. This is the woman who abused her students and neglected her son. Although to be honest I don’t even know how to quite describe the emotionally neglectful yet unhealthily codependent bond she fostered in him from a young age. IMO, Baghra’s behavior around Aleksander is creepy, and I know she has a history that makes it more understandable, but it’s still incredibly disconcerting to witness.

But let’s get back on track! First of all, her students. Whom she physically, emotionally, and mentally abuses. She’s derisive, she’s insulting, she’s belittling. She works hard to strip them of any self confidence they may have. She uses pain as a means of triggering powers. And the strict teacher excuse doesn’t fly. The “it’s only a training method!” excuse is even worse. This is literal abuse she’s heaping on her students and it’s wretched.

The first thing she does to Alina when they first meet is insult her. Then she hits her. Then she kicks her out.

Second time they interact is a montage. Baghra hits Alina multiple times. She shames her. And then when Alina actually calls a light she tells her it’s not nearly enough, effectively wiping the smile off of her face and every sign of self confidence that had been building. Then we see the door to Baghra’s hut shut in Alina’s face. So now she has been bruised, battered, berated, stripped of all self confidence, and then banished again. As training methods go, this is not only entirely ineffective, but it’s also just abusive.

Then we get this interaction between Alina and her friends:

Marie: One time, Baghra released a hive of bees on me. Nadia: Worst part is, it worked. Marie: It really did. I could summon at will after that.

Which is fucking horrifying and not talked about nearly enough. That goes beyond hitting your students. Baghra used a fear tactic on a young girl to activate her powers. She literally tortured Marie to make her powers work.

Alina throughout this conversation is looking very disheartened. She’s lacking in any self confidence and the comment about the bees has clearly affected her. For someone who’s first words to Alina were “Everyone believes that you are the one. Come back when you believe it too,”  Baghra doesn’t exactly seem keen on Alina actually believing she’s the one. If she did, she wouldn’t be stripping her of every positive emotion associated with sun summoning.

Let’s not forget that Baghra demeans Alina multiple times for her status as an orphan. How she utilizes what she knows of Alina’s emotional weaknesses to provoke her and discourage her and make her angry.

And then Baghra drugs her without consent. To take advantage of any information Alina gives her in that state. To use the way Alina reacts for her own ends.

Because why else would she say this?:

Alina: We planned to run away together. Baghra: You had plans. Perhaps he never did, because where is he now?

Which is, strangely enough, the same sense of isolation and separation from Mal and her past that Aleksander is attempting to foster. Weird how mother and son are both using the same manipulation tactics.

In fact, why does Baghra never tell Alina about the letters until she’s already engaged with Aleksander? Baghra must have known he was taking them. Alina talks about it enough. Baghra must have known he was isolating her from Mal. How could she not, when it’s revealed later that she has spies in the Little Palace collecting information on him? How could she not, when she knows he’s the villain from the beginning - when she knows he’s manipulating Alina?

Baghra knows, and yet she keeps the same lies Aleksander does and furthermore uses that information to make Alina feel even more isolated and weak. Baghra literally just piggy-backs on Aleksander’s manipulation and then exacerbates it. She wants Alina to feel no attachments to her past because she wants to use Alina as well. But for some reason, because this manipulation and treatment of Alina as some sort of tool is done by the woman who opposes the Darkling, it’s suddenly okay. As if it still isn’t the same terrible shit but with a different perpetrator. I mean damn, at least Aleksander feels something for Alina. Baghra’s just cold.

So, point by point. Baghra mentions how Mal doesn’t care for Alina, she mentions Alina’s failings constantly, she mentions Alina being an orphan, she constantly hits her, she guilts Alina about orphans dying, she works to instill a sense of isolation from her friends and her family.

And when Alina finally comes to Baghra, having decided to abandon her attachments to her past and her attachments to Mal, the words that ring in her head are Baghra's words - “needing anyone else is weak.”  Which is honestly just a horrible sentiment in general, but an even worse one when considering how hard these people are working to detach Alina from anybody who can help her or give her an outside perspective.

Strangely, it’s also similar to this line:

The problem with wanting, is that it makes us weak.

...which is spoken by Baghra’s son. You know, the Darkling? Our big bad villain? The one Baghra raised?

Which gives me the impression that Baghra’s teaching methods with her students are really not that far off from the teaching methods she used on him as he was growing up. It’s a horrifying thought, and leads into my problems with her relationship with Aleksander.

First of all, show wise. What the fuck.

Aleksander: They’re punishing us for being Grisha. Baghra: Punishing you. You made him afraid. Now he wants you to fear him. Aleksander: I won a war for him. Baghra: And in doing so, started a war on us.

I get that she’s trying to convey how the king feels here, but it still feels incredibly victim blamey from a narrative standpoint. It isn’t Aleksander’s fault the king fears him when he used his powers under the King’s banner to help him win a war. Aleksander trusted this man who betrayed him and then betrayed his people, and we get a line from his mother, entirely unsympathetic, talking about how it’s his fault all of these people are dying.

Baghra: Where’s the girl, your healer? Aleksander: Dead. She died because of me. Baghra: She died because they always do. They’re not as strong as you and me.

Baghra’s use of the term ‘girl’ and ‘healer' here instead of Luda is pretty telling. She either doesn’t like Luda or doesn’t care for her. Either way, this is the woman her son loves, and Baghra talks about her so dispassionately. Then he comments on Luda’s death and there’s no reaction except to say that they always do.

Like, her son is literally broken up over here. Grieving. Desperate. Run ragged. Caged and hunted. Feeling guilty as hell. Mind running through a million different ways he could possibly save all of these people. And Baghra offers him nothing except a paltry “people die, get over it, we’re better than that, she didn’t matter anyway.”

Honestly, how is Aleksander even still functioning at this point? He has no support system and he’s working against a king and his army to protect a group of civilians he could easily abandon to save himself. The sheer amount of responsibility and mental strain keeping track of a group alone entails is already monstrous, but adding in every other factor? The recent death of Luda, the fact that they’re cornered and they’ve been hunted down while fleeing across the land, the fact that he was just a couple hours ago forced to his knees and entirely at these men’s mercy, begging for Luda’s life. And here his mother is, if anything a negative support system. Offering no other ideas, telling him to give up hope, not even offering the barest smidgeon of emotional support as he grieves, putting everything on his shoulders.

It pisses me the fuck off.

Aleksander: You’re the one who taught me how to kill, mother. Their blood is on your hands as much as mine.  Baghra: I taught you so you could protect yourself. Not them.

Once more, Baghra highlights how he needs to protect himself. How he should abandon the people he’s protecting. How he shouldn't help others and only ever himself. Once more, she says it’s my way or the high way. There’s zero effort to work with him. Zero effort to sympathize or compromise. She’s constantly pushing him to take the one option she knows he won’t take. The hell did she think was going to happen?

Also, Baghra taught him how to kill. Not necessarily great parenting, but understandable given the circumstances of his upbringing. But the level to which she takes it is honestly concerning. Like, look no further than this woman to see where Aleksander got it from lol.

Baghra also forbids him from using Merzost. Which is great and all, she gets to claim the moral high ground. But she doesn’t offer a single alternative except to flee and let everybody die. There was legitimately no other option to Merzost except for torture and death. If there was, Baghra sure as hell didn’t help Aleksander come up with one. Aleksander, who - by the way - is in no fit emotional state to be making any kind of decision right now.

So anyways, that’s just my tv show grief regarding Baghra, and it’s not even really all of it. I don’t want to make this an hour long read though lmao. But I’ll go over a few other things.

First of all, Baghra’s whole “We’re the only two that matter. We have to do whatever we can to protect ourselves,” mentality is one that she actively touts to Aleksander on a regular basis when he’s incredibly young. It’s honestly a wonder he grows up to care about other people at all. But the mentality itself is something Aleksander still heavily internalized in regards to protecting himself and those he deems worthy at any cost.

There’s a moment in the books when Aleksander is attacked and nearly drowned by some kids who wanted his bones (one of which was a close friend of his). He uses the cut in self defense and then blames the nearby Otkazat’sya village. Baghra knows he’s lying, and yet she allows an entire village to get slaughtered for harming him. This is a disproportionately violent act that Baghra approves of, and Aleksander as a kid is definitely internalizing that mindset.

Also, Baghra’s behavior around Aleksander has always been weirdly possessive and controlling. Especially when it comes to the people he loves. Her actions often come across as her trying to isolate him in order to keep him by her side, even when the relationships he has are clearly intimate. Which... is especially strange for a mother to be doing to her son.

She was also an extremely emotionally neglectful mother. Based on the show and what I gathered from her actions there, I’m actually half convinced she was physically abusive as well, in that “I think I’m being a stern, good parent figure when in reality I’m actually harming my child” kind of way. She fosters codependence with her son and then refuses to provide for any of his emotional needs. She drives it into his head that everybody dies, that he’ll always be alone, that love is useless and power is everything. She denies him the opportunity to be soft and works to harden him at a young age. She tells him he must never allow people to touch him, except she doesn’t work to supplement those physical needs in any way. She essentially abuses him.

Honestly, I could go on. But in reality the simple fact is that I just don’t like her. I think she’s a hypocrite. I think she’s abusive. I think she’s a terrible mentor and an even worse mother. And I think the fandom and the books are willing to brush aside so many of her faults simply because she opposes the Darkling.

I’m sorry if this isn’t what you guys were looking for! It sounds like a lot of you wanted a more of a sophisticated breakdown, but my thoughts on Baghra come with a heap of emotional baggage lol. It feels weird to say this now, but I actually do like the character as a character, I just,,, don’t like her in every other aspect. My feelings on Baghra are just a bit personal, to be honest. But hopefully this was at least comprehensible??

[submalevolentgrace]

Saw a thing on great British sewing bee that reminded me of something you said. One of the contestants is an amputee and she didn't use a prosthetic. She said in her leaving remarks that she usually does wear a prosthetic but it would get in the way of her sewing and going some time without it for the competition made her realise she doesn't want to wear it any more.

good for her!

i'm honestly really glad she discovered that, and that it was put in the show for everyone to see. there's so much pressure to get and use a prosthesis asap after amputation; it's standard practice to size you for a socket before you've even fully healed and let the swelling go down!

my OT said that most people give up on a functional upper limb prosthesis after about 6-12 months and praised me for being 'dedicated' enough to stick to my training. unfortunately, most of those people apparently fall back on using a cosmetic prosthesis instead... which i definitely understand the desire for! (see here for rant)

but it's disheartening when most of us are actually fully capable of functioning with just our residual limb; but the pressure we're put under to appear normal is so intense, and often leads to horrifying outcomes that prioritise a normative body over function or even patient health...

so yeah. genuinely really happy to hear this happened and was broadcast! zero percent surprised she did better without it, would love fully-limbed people to catch on to this

[dhaaruni]

It's just sad because I feel like there are so few people - journalists, academics, etc. Who can live up to this particular political moment. It's one thing seeing awful call of duty poisoned redditors treating the war like a spectator sport but a wholly disheartening experience watching people with a TOTALLY un-earned sense of cynicism & savvy handing down awful take after awful take from blue-check accounts. Like this is true for everything but the ghoulishness really hit me yesterday. People here are desperate for a Hollywood underdog story that just isn't going to happen, and I for one do NOT look forward to the change in posture if/when Ukraine falls and I have to start seeing the same tired profiles of putin as a bond villain 7-D chess genius despite all evidence 2 the contrary

I've seen so many people hero-worshipping Zelensky, the President of Ukraine, and I'm just honestly worried about how they'll react if one of the million assassination attempts on his life succeeds. It's really cowardly too like we all know Zelensky would only want to go down if he goes down fighting for Ukraine, but of course Russia wants to shoot him in the back.

It's like this, of course we should have been showing the same empathy to the people of Syria and Yemen, and a lot of people, especially white people, didn't, but I'm glad they're finally realizing the horrors of war I guess.

This piece was so horrifying to read: