#cy rants

[vencyrus]

how does one deal with the anguish of self-awareness bc i so want to be a good person but for so many years of my life ive just surrounded myself with horrible people and made myself horrible in turn

i do unfortunately manifest some toxic manipulator traits sometimes but i am getting better about it but i catch myself slipping up

im not even trying to be manipulative anymore but its so habitual like... ugh i feel so icky hearing myself speak

i still catch myself pre-emptively saying "youre gonna have to forgive me" before saying or doing bad shit instead of apologizing afterwards or even stopping myself from the clearly self-aware problematic behavior im about to take part in and like in the moment it always feels right to me but always hits in hindsight when its too late

grrrraaaaAAAAAAHHHHHH

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

AU where Bedman gets revived by Asuka’s weird apprentice and is now full of anger and hatred at the fact that his situation has changed and he’s suddenly alive and awake. Oh and he plays the piano.

I would’ve drawn more for this but it’s almost 5am and also i’m. horrid at drawing quickly. Anyways feel free to ask about the AU! I’m much better at expressing my ideas through words than through art anyways ^^

[cy-fi-theansweris42]

I've been thinking about the story of the Psychic 7 more and the world of Psychonauts, and I think part of the reason why it just stuck so intensely in my brain is because of the little glimpses we get of their past, and how towards the end of the game, after everything that's happened, the group is reunited. Yes, there's things to work out, things they have to talk about (primarily looking at you, Ford), but despite everything, they're all together again.

Let me explain. (Also, please keep in mind I haven't played the game in almost 2 years and I only recently started rereading things for the games, I could miss some details).

In the world of Psychonauts, the world is not kind to psychics.

We're told this right away in the beginning of the first game. When Raz is reciting the text from the pamphlet for the summer camp, he has these lines:

Raz: You were born with a special gift but the people around you treat it like a curse. Your mother is afraid of you and your father looks at you with shame in his eyes. Come to Whispering Rock psychic summer camp and you can show them all! Back home your powers make you a loner, an outcast, a circus freak, but in this dojo in this psychic dojo they make you a hero. 

As they show different campers in this scene, we know that these words hit home for them. They can all relate to the words Raz is reciting. Even by Raz's time, even after there's been a Psychic organization helping people for years, psychics aren't fully accepted.

To anyone that's ever felt othered, felt like they didn't belong somewhere, these words are relatable. We instantly relate to our main character, and potentially to the other psychic characters we meet. We know what their struggle is like.

Now like I said, this was in Raz's time. But back in the Psychic 7's time? There wasn't an organization like the Psychonauts. Back then there would have been even less reason for them to be accepted, so I think things were potentially even worse back then. There was far less known about how psychic powers worked since Otto and the others were the ones to do the research, and no doubt people were probably more afraid of psychics then.

However, despite living in a world that was even less accepting of psychics, the Psychic 7 still found each other. They still found each other, found others just like them, and they basically formed this little family.

Personally, what makes this hit even harder is the fact that none of them were exactly young when they all found each other, they were all adults and well into adulthood. They all had different backgrounds, different experiences. Lucy had already married and lost a husband, Bob had already lost both parents, Helmut was a struggling performer, Cassie escaped a dangerous environment, and more. They were all adults with different lives and came from different places, but they still found each other. Making friends as an adult is hard, but they still found each other and not only became friends, but became a little family.

And then, after Maligula, after losing Helmut, after being separated for so long, once they all see Lucy, they hug. They're back together again. They're not missing any members of their family again.

So that's what really makes it Hit Different for me. The fact that, despite the world they all lived in at the time, the Psychic 7 found and made their little family, and even after so much time and tragedy and separation, they came back together.

[madohomurat]

u ever see like. a small LGBTQ community and theres no lesbians but they still act as if they are 100% diverse and that they understand all LGBTQ experience because theyre so diverse? its funny because the implication is either that they think that a bi/queer womans experience is enough to count as having a lesbian perspective, or that lesbian perspectives/experiences arent important enough to have representation of in the first place. and its mad uncomfortable. like. honestly if thats your group. call yourselves GBTQ. theres no lesbians so dont put the L there at all.

also, if your big "queer" group lacks any lesbians, theres probably as reason for it. and if you think its because 'most lesbians are terfs' (this is a myth) or 'most lesbians are biphobes' (also a myth) then that right there shows that the true reason is that you and all your friends reek of lesbiphobic mindsets and lesbians can fucking tell so they stay away from yall

its so often that lesbians will just have their own little lesbian specific friend groups. like gee ever wonder why that is lmfao

[thotsfortherapy]

also I was watching HealthyGamerGG’s video on women with ADHD about how ADHD symptoms in women aren’t interpreted as symptoms, but rather as failings of being a woman… oh you can’t keep the house clean, the kids fed, and the Christmas tree decorated? Bad Woman. You can’t manage your schedule and your husband’s schedule? Bad Woman. You’re too emotionally sensitive and reactive in relationships? Hysterical and probably on your period. It is not seen as a disability or as someone who might need help, instead it’s just chalked up as this internal thing that is wrong with you and they punish you with shame.

It really reminded me of my own mom, how she could never get us to school in time, I would always be the last one picked up from the playground because she would be late, how I had to do my own laundry and make my own lunch (aka just a package of salted crackers because i also had undiagnosed ADHD and could not make my own lunches), how she would randomly fly into rages… and now that I have my own ADHD diagnosis and am trying to work out how live as an adult, I feel like I can extend so much more sympathy towards her. Because I also know how much shame she feels around her inability to “Be a Good Mother” as society wants her to be, and that one of her worst fears is that she is a bad mom. Which sucks! Because it turns out that so many things she did that made me feel like she didn’t care (like missing my school plays) is actually the symptom of a disability that she never got help for. And the only difference between her and me is that we’re living in different eras, we have access to different information, and we have surrounded ourselves with different people. As much as I appreciate my dad, he is not supportive at ALL and makes my mom feel like she’s completely at fault for all her ADHD symptoms.

As opposed to my partner who was like “hey man, I think there is something actually wrong with you let’s get you some help” (after I almost crashed his car lol) and who helps me so much with basic life stuff that when he’s on a shift rotation I can tell not because I notice that he’s gone but because suddenly I am not eating, I am not sleeping, and life suddenly does not go smoothly anymore (why is there no food in the fridge? Who put all these clothes on the floor? Where are my keys?) (obviously I notice he’s gone but life also just coincidentally seems to fall apart whenever he’s not there..)

So much of what I do (and what I can’t do) reminds me of my mom, which gives me a lot of complicated feelings because I never ever wanted to end up like her. But the older I get the less I see someone who is evil and the more i see someone who never got the help they very desperately needed. And that is sad. But then I’m also like damn I wish she had been the one to figure this out, because instead of being able to teach me how to accept my ADHD and work with it, instead she just passed down all the shame, the maladaptive coping mechanisms.. forcing me to sit still, praying to God instead of trying any sort of professional help (no hate if God helps you but therapy was much needed for me), and most importantly just constantly shaming me for things that I am further and further realizing are completely ridiculous to shame someone for ��� the amount of times I got called weak or sensitive 😭 EXTREMELY ironic considering the shit she’d get mad at me for!

All of this to say,

TURNS OUT THIS IS A DISABILITY, NOT SURE IF ANYONE ELSE KNOWS THAT (sarcasm)

[luvlyycy]

if u dont write smut with your own fetishes n kinks... are u really writin for yourself??

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions…

[princexpuppy]

Howdy Y'all !

About Me

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My name is Prince! I’m a 25 year old FTM puppy boy 🩵🐶

I’m southern but am a giant boy kisser who punches racists

I love my werewolf boyfriend Cypress 🐺🌲he mauls creeps

Cat dad of 7 😵‍💫 Virgo ♍️ Y’allternative 🖤 Neurodivergent

My Interests

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I like drawing, games, aquariums , gardening, & houseplants!

💻 - Lioden, Chicken Smoothie, Minecraft, Sims

🎮 - Ark, Slime Rancher, RDR2, Fall Guys, Pokemon,

Cult of the Lamb, Spyro

📱- Dragon Village Collection

Personals

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Mutuals may ask for my TikTok, Insta, and 18+ acc.

Mask was made by HighValleyCreation

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Tags

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#Cy 💚 - Posts about my boyfriend

#Puppy Barks - Original Posts

#Puppy Rambles - Personal stuff

#Puppy Time - General Puppyboy antics

#Puppy Rants - Me Angy lol

#Prince Draws - Art by me!

#Prince Plays - Gaming Stuff

#Prince Puppy - Pics of me

#Ask Prince - Asks/Ask Games/Questions

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THIS ACCOUNT IS STRICTLY SFW!!

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More coming soon

υ˶˃ ﻌ ˂˶υ

[vencyrus]

ran out of clean normal skivvies so i had to go to work in a jockstrap like a fucking pervert

[venisonghost]

I am SO FUCKING PISSED AT THIS VIDEO

I thought the guy was gonna make this custom but fucking no

They bought this custom and fucking RETURNED IT TO NORMAL

THAT THING LOOKS LIKE IT TOOK DAYS TO MAKE. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT

GET BENT

[nicosniners]

cyno my beloved

[conceptualdata]

@cyphyra you need to gm more

put me in a dungeon, get those heroes to perform heroic thingies

make me fight a slime and then i lose and-- [Allison: Lily what are you doing?]

[halcyoncyrus]

How do video essay people DO it I typed a massive info dump and then I tried to turn it into a script (adding an intro / setting up the premise) I just went into beep boop robot mode and suddenly lost All personality.

[madohomurat]

i love marcille and laios both as characters and i really wanna read more about their relationship dynamic because its insane and wild and crunchy. i dont ship them as a romantic couple but i have no beef with the people who do.

however sometimes i go into spaces where people talk about marcille and laios and their dynamic- thats great, thats what i wanna see! sometimes it veers into the romantic shippy territory, thats fine, thats to be expected, props to you!

but then sometimes it does a nose-dive into thinly veiled bitterness. sometimes it turns into words being whispered in tags that other ships (farcille) are boring and bland. it dives into immature complaining over not seeing more fanart and fanfics of one ship while another is getting lots of fan content (pick up a fucking pencil then) it dives into between-the-line implications of 'people only even like X because its gay. they have no real taste unlike me who likes REAL ships that are GOOD"

and then i think to myself, okay, go fuck yourself.

and now youve given me a bad impression of everyone who ships marcille/laios in general so congrats i guess?

hating a ship and its fans for being more popular and having more content than yours is like, the number one most pathetic reason to hate a ship, lmfao sore fucking loser ass cant even write ur own damn fic or draw your own damn fanart, cant even inspire other people enough to care, cant even open your wallet to commission someone. pissbaby!! grown ass adults acting like this... be for fucking real

[plasticcyborg]

help the girlies in my group chat are being antisemitic :(