#is an absolutely deranged thing to do
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I mentioned to my roommate that I was going to give my dog a bath during the week I'm on spring break, since I'll have time during the day. So he took it upon himself to give the dog a bath in the middle of the night while I was at work, so he can say he's taking care of the dog anyway so I should give jack to him.
He used my dish soap to do it. First of all, DISH SOAP!??!?! Second, it's my dish soap because I'm allergic to the stuff he likes to use. So now I also have no dish soap.
#i feel like i cant even eat or shower anymore because the second i leave my room hes gonna go hide my dog from me again#maybe its just me but i feel like bathing someone elses dog#with dish soap#in the middle of the night#without even asking first#is an absolutely deranged thing to do#op
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THE MOMENT NAOMASA REALIZED THE EXTENT OF WHO ALL MIGHT ACTUALLY IS
For refrence; a side by side comparison of how Naomasa knows All Might vs how Toshinori is when he actually lets loose
#bnha#my hero academia#yagi toshinori#naomasa tsukauchi#it was at this moment naomasa realized#toshinori isn't just a good guy who wants to do good#but an absolute freak of a man who NEEDS it#the first time in Naomasa'a entire life he's seen Toshinori's eyes actually light up and him smile out of sheer euphoric joy#and he's realizing he really never had a chance at keeping Toshinori out of the battle#he's realizing nobody ever had a chance at getting All Might to back down and accept retirement#Toshinori is awkward and soft spoken among people#for he does not know how to fit in there#he tries but he always seems a bit uncomfortable or distracted#but there- right there- Toshinori is THRIVING#Toshinori is a deranged feral individual who is damn right terrifying#naomasa is realizing that the entire time everyones been unaware how much of a monster the symbol of peace really is#because toshinori is tame#he's on their side#he's the symbol of peace and hope#it's like thinking you have a pet golden retriver#only to realize you have a dog that's built to hunt bears#and watching your once percieved golden retriever#tear into a monstrousity that had you quacking#like its the most natural and right thing in the world to them
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tbh though if you look at the older episodes, Betty was always like absolutely 100% fully and irrevocably unhinged, and her going insane was barely a departure from the status quo at all
like this woman is and always was nuts, and I think it's for everyone's benefit that they're both equally obsessed with each other, because that means nobody else ever has to get involved with their fucked up dynamic
I think it's less that she put her life on hold for Simon's benefit, but that she's a scary lady who knows exactly what she wants, and what she wants is a relationship with a nice autistic guy who's really into femdom
#simon petrikov#betty grof#fionna and cake#adventure time#and she's valid for it#like remember that time she jumped through a random time portal to 1000 years in the future and entered a magical world#and then shoved half dead simon off of a magic carpet literal seconds after hearing the thing that removed his powers#and went there and fucking murdered the entity that was doing it less than fifteen seconds after showing up#this woman is fucking deranged#that's not codependency#that's something else entirely#she's on an absolutely different level#she doesn't need him but she wants him and he needs her and honestly that's fine#they both have something therapy cannot fix#nobody should even be permitted to try#like they need to be isolated with each other forever#I hazard to say that she would straight up be doing yandere shit if Simon were even fractionally less into her
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Listen you gotta be healthy and take care of yourself and your chronic conditions but also sometimes i want to hold someone until my joints feel like they’ll explode, i want to place their hand on my chest to make my irregular heartbeat go even faster, i want to stay up talking to them just to fuck up my already poor sleep like i just kinda want to love someone so much that it doesn’t even cross my mind to worry about those things
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#does any of this make sense or do i just sound deranged#my b if so#posts directly inspired by lack of sleep and my heart going absolutely crazy for no reason#the heart thing is so real#it’s been acting up so often lately because my medicine schedule keeps getting a bit off which always gives me hella breakthroughs#like it feels like shit when it’s acting up and makes me feel like shit but also#wanna see if we can make it worse🥵🥵#sorry i kind of want to be a little self destructive to prove to myself how much i can love someone#and that some things can trump or are at least worth suffering through the Issues™️#actually though if this sounds weird or crazy ognore it im embarrassed#pls chalk it up to the bo sleep and heart issues instead😪😪#im gay and i like sleeping
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I don’t think you guys understand how in love with Evan Peters I am. It’s a mental illness at this point and it only goes down hill from here. 😮💨😪
fuck bro he is such a cutie pie I cant. HELP ME IT HURTS!! MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE I NEED TO BE SET FREE THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP
#ahs fandom#evan peters#ahs cult#rant post#ranting#ahs coven#ahs delicate#ahs murder house#actor#send help#please help#please please please#mental illness#actually mentally ill#mentally deranged#love#DEAR GOD I NEED HIM SO BAD#i would let him do unspeakable things to me#ungoldy things#absolutely unholy#i would do anything he asks#literally anything#if i met him irl i would genuinely pass out i think
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CONVINCED nothing will EVER be as real to me as Tim getting his ass BEAT in Paris
Running back to where he’s staying to grab the Robin suit
Then SPRINTING it back to have a round 2
And then he almost loses round 2 so bad he thinks he’s about to die
It RESONATES with me
#Tim Drake#Batman#robin#dc#what is wrong with him#he’s absolutely deranged#this is EXACTLY why he’s my favourite#no other sane person would ever do anything like this in the order he does these things#I’m convinced he has two settings#thinking too much and not at all#no way was he thinking ANYTHING for him to settle on this course of action and think that it’d be the best option for him#I’d say lights on but no one’s home but brother I’m not even sure the lights were on
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catching up
pg 5 / 26
#total drama fanart#total drama#total drama island#total drama comic#total drama izzy#total drama owen#total drama eva#total drama noah#total drama oc#comics#reprise reprise#whataview#arise arise#i would narrow that white bar around the red line of evas glare but if i tweaked every thing i saw#this would have never been made#did you know that i spent 40% of the linework in this comic getting evas shades shaped juuuust right#but for you my eva? i would do anything#i gotta stop talking abt eva down here#next time i make a comic it might be monochrome or a super limited palette#to stop myself from going crazy <- statement uttered by the absolutely deranged#but owens perpetual sunburn right in the middle of his face is so important to me..
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2009 Japanese Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel
#im so glad theres no one here to witness my reaction to seb wins because my god#i dont think words exist in the english language for the screeching noises i make HAHAHAHAHA#i just love him too much and it is a very late hour so i feel so deranged abt him and its very unwell behavior#i am kissing the tv director was for this podium directly on the mouth because SO MANY GOOD SHOTS !!!!!!!!!#my main gripe(and youll see this often in my tags) is that they never have enough direct shots and also cut away at bad moments#this podium? absolutely fucking beautiful. i want to kiss the camera operators because their focusing and tracking is a thing of beauty#hes so cute this race!!!!!! i have way too much content so shall be 3 posts methinks. hope ya dont mind!!#ive seen a clip of him and tommi chest bumping but i didnt know it was this race so when it suddenly cut to them im like OH!!!!#seb at japan gp....truly magnificent every single season(we dont talk about 2007)#i usually put 'ft. [ther drivers] but clearly both the cameramen and i only had eyes for seb hahaha#i guess this time tommi and rocky are the features!!#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 japanese gp#2009 japanese grand prix#sv5#season: 2009
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after 2015 until 2018 it seemed that things had calmed down a bit between valentino and marc, in the sense that they had started to be polite between them again and valentino no longer seemed to be on a war footing. then after argentina obviously the situation worsened again. in the podcast where valentino spoke in 2021 if I'm not mistaken, when he talks about marc,however, he only refers to the events of sepang and not to what happened in argentina which instead seemed to have been the final “divorce”. so my question is, during 2016 and 2017 did valentino just pretend to put up with marc? because in that podcast you can feel valentino's resentment is still a lot even after many years, so I imagine it must have been even greater in the two years immediately following sepang, even if it didn't seem if you see how he behaved
well. look. it was reflected in how valentino behaved... I think sometimes if you see isolated photos and gifsets, you can maybe be left with a bit of a mistaken impression of what that dynamic actually looked like for those two years. they got to a point post-catalunya where they were civil to each other, and maybe they'd exchange two lines in greeting, at podium celebrations, when somebody in a presser made a joke... and maybe marc at the very least was sincerely hoping they could get back to something like what they had before 2015. in reality, though, it was still very very far away. it wasn't open hostilities... at some point in 2016, valentino realised he simply couldn't go on like this. I talked about it a bit here:
you get this discrepancy in his 2016 output, actually. if you compare what he's saying that autumn for written press interviews vs what he's saying with marc right next to him... he'd clearly decided there was zero point in directly fanning the flames. at the sepang 2016 presser when marc and him are quizzed on what had happened the previous year, he just goes with marc's response and decides against reopening the controversy by adding anything from his side. but he still made it clear he hadn't changed his mind in interviews from the exact same time period! at times, he tolerates marc's tentative advances - at other times, he's almost accidentally sucked in, like he can't quite help himself from laughing at something marc has said. but there was never a period where he forgave marc for what he'd done... for various reasons he just decided he wasn't going to harp on about it too much. he did basically say as much post-argentina 2018:
but yeah, argentina 2018. it's an interesting one, isn't it? the stuff that valentino says there doesn't actually feel... quite in line with anything else he's said about marc. typically, when valentino criticises marc, it really is all about sepang 2015 - it's very focused, very specific, he's talking about being unable to forgive marc on a personal level for something marc had done to valentino... but it's not like he's really coming at marc for anything else... when other riders have gotten into spats with marc, he's stayed out of it - and generally he remains pretty neutral when he talks about everything else concerning marc. so, for example, there's a world where the moment alex rins is saying marc doesn't respect other riders in 2019, valentino immediately jumps at the opportunity to offer his hot take... but he doesn't do that. and yes, he had criticised marc's riding before, in particular in marc's moto2 days, but obviously those criticisms were considerably more restrained and sounded at times quite worried for marc's sake. (he also got close to that in silverstone 2016 when he remarked marc had 'something special' for their battles, but a) he's not wrong, except insofar as it's clearly mutual, and b) he explicitly said he didn't have a problem with that fight and considered it hard but fair). in 2017, when valentino was criticising other riders for being too aggressive... well, he wasn't doing so with marc, and he even conceded the point to marc in subsequent races after marc had obliquely criticised valentino at cota for his rhetoric not matching up to his own riding. when valentino's young riders have gotten into their own spats with marc, he's not waded in either, at most saying stuff about marc's fight with pecco that from his lips sounds almost like something akin to praise. radio silence after bez's run in with marc at the end of last year... argentina 2018 is the exception not the rule
and you know... at the end of the day, that was an emotional reaction. valentino might be wearing the habitual smile on his face during the media debrief and sound reasonably calm and composed, but he was furious. which, it's always worth remembering, isn't an entirely unreasonable reaction to that specific situation. yes, valentino doesn't have a clean track record either, but you're going to struggle to find such a... weaponised carelessness, a blatant disinterest in his fellow riders while shoving them aside, in the way marc was exhibiting that day - and indeed that whole weekend. looking back, of course argentina 2018 ended up being an isolated blot on marc's track record that he's not come close to repeating since (yes, he's made high profile errors that took out other riders, but it's different)... but we didn't know that at the time. also, I doubt valentino much appreciated being treated just like an obstacle in marc's path! the fact that valentino wasn't the only marc victim that weekend kind of has an interesting effect, because you have to doubt whether it would have helped if valentino felt like he was being targeted specifically by marc, but on the other hand... well, it's almost disrespectful, isn't it... being singled out is in a way still better than being brushed aside like any other rider
still, valentino's pushing it with his criticisms, he's out of line, and he clearly did lash out in the heat of the moment - which was of course largely a product of the resentment he'd been holding onto those past two years. calling marc's behaviour that day dangerous? sure, you'd find a lot of agreement for that. saying that marc was ruining the sport? that he was intentionally causing other riders to crash? ... well, hold on one moment. I reckon the simplest explanation is the best one here: valentino was angry and said stuff he wouldn't otherwise say, which we know because he's not done so before or since. of course, he was never going to retract what he said about marc that day - he wasn't ever going to apologise for it. not with their history, not when there was still just enough about those argentina comments that he meant... so he wasn't going to feel too much regret about the bits he wouldn't have said under any other circumstance. the problem post-2015 for valentino is that constantly signalling his fury to the world wasn't doing him much good... but pretending like everything was just fine clearly also took a bit of a toll. argentina 2018 wiped the slate clean - even though they gradually crept back towards basic civility after that. and valentino really didn't continue with that line of critique... since then he's basically completely reverted back to a sepang 2015-centric approach. maybe a few hints at it... in 2021, he said something along the lines of how he doesn't feel good when he's on-track with marc, but that's pretty generic while also crucially being personal - he's not saying marc is a problem for the series, he's saying it's them specifically that have an issue with each other
which doesn't mean he didn't believe what he said in argentina 2018 in the moment... when they reconvened in cota and had marc and valentino do separate media debriefs from the main presser, valentino said he stood by his comments - but also didn't actually repeat them or elaborate on them or anything. he's back to terse short responses to the press' questions, saying he wants to focus on the race ahead: kind of the go-to approach when it comes to marc post-sepang (with notable exceptions). he's walked his strongest comments back as much as he was probably ever going to - by simple virtue of the fact that he's left it at that. and you know, he's a complicated guy... 2016-17 was both pretending and it also wasn't. he didn't act like everything was forgotten, but he certainly was willing to let people believe that this relationship might end up being mended - which quite frankly was probably never going to happen. mostly, he was just sort of sick of the whole thing, struggling to enjoy himself in what had become such a charged, hostile environment for all the riders involved. at the same time, look - fundamentally, the interpersonal chemistry with marc was always fine. they click as people! they click as riders! marc makes valentino laugh! sometimes, that line between 'pretending' and 'letting yourself pretend' and 'actually not pretending at all' can be quite thin. when valentino talks in that time period about how much he enjoyed a battle with marc, of course he isn't lying - because he really does enjoy those fights! that's what racing is all about for him, and that's something him and marc still share! as long as marc isn't barging him aside and causing him to crash, that is. maybe it'd be easier if it were all a pretence, but it wasn't... sometimes, when you say you thought a race was hard and fair, you really do mean it and you really did have a lot of fun. sometimes, the struggle isn't actually acting nice for the cameras, it's trying to bite down the temptation to laugh alongside your sworn enemy
see also assen 2016... like, isn't this kinda wild? you've just had catalunya the race before, you've just had the mere semblance of a tentative start to a possible reconciliation - then they return to the place that was really the beginning of the end for them. they go on a few track familiarisation laps, including to check out the resurfaced final chicane (aka the scene of the crime). they race each other on said track familiarisation laps. then marc brings it up in the presser, giggling about the whole thing, and apparently valentino also finds it pretty funny - before he visibly swallows up his grin. later that weekend, marc pointedly decides to try out valentino's final chicane move himself during the warm up session. this is all obviously deranged, but it's a type of deranged where they are fundamentally on the same wavelength. it's the kind of ridiculous behaviour they're both incredibly fond of... you see it in how valentino shrugs off the towing at catalunya 2019, and thinks it speaks to marc's smarts and wiliness - unsurprising, really, because they're so similar in that regard, and valentino has never shaken his admiration for marc as a competitor
valentino can clamp down on his animosity towards a rival during his direct interactions with them... lord knows if you watch a few of the casey and valentino face-to-face interactions over the years, you really wouldn't match that up with the sheer vitriol of some of the stuff they were concurrently saying about each other in the press. that rivalry was never really personal (on valentino's end), it was never fraught in the same way (for valentino anyway) - still, it shows he's theoretically capable of separating this stuff out when he needs to... and he just about managed with marc for two years. if he had just been waiting for an excuse, surely you would have heard at least a hint of that when him and marc swapped paint in 2017. you never quite knew how he was going to answer the inevitable questions about marc's riding, but no direct criticism was forthcoming at any stage. the post-argentina 2018 rhetoric wasn't in any way premeditated from valentino's side, and personally I don't think he was just waiting for an excuse either. it was the result of a constant internal conflict between knowing that engaging in any more active beef with marc wouldn't do anyone any good, and the fact that he still hadn't forgiven marc... and then a race came along that simply pissed him off enough to push him over the edge
from 2016 onwards, valentino both very much wanted and very much did not want further conflict with marc, and neither of those impulses ever quite go away. usually, he's disciplined enough to avoid stoking the flames any further... potshots to the press outside of the paddock are essentially a free and harmless outlet in that regard, and even there you can tell he was trying to scale it back in the years where he was being forced to directly interact with marc. he was pretending and not pretending and sometimes pretending like he wasn't pretending and sometimes pretending like he was pretending. maybe it would have always just taken one major on-track confrontation for things to fall apart between them again... but you do kinda have to acknowledge the whole thing was really unfortunate. I've long thought that something like sepang 2015 was pretty inevitable as long as valentino managed to put himself in title contention once marc had joined the premier class, but I don't actually feel the same way about argentina 2018. an awful marriage of circumstance and coincidence and bad choices caused the relationship to fall apart again this badly. valentino might have had some more or less sincere misgivings about marc's riding, but at the end of the day he wasn't going to ever express them unless it got personal - because all of these people are incredibly self-centred and valentino wouldn't have felt like it was worth it. he lost his temper, he said some stuff he might partly but not fully believe, he's not inclined to bring it up again. that's that
#podcast was 2023 and also it's different now that he's retired. i think he tucked the resentment away when he actually interacted with marc#thing is direct exposure to each other inevitably seems to help the relationship BUT it's risky as long as they're both competitive#if you fuck about with their age gap i reckon they would've just gone through this cycle again and again lol. deeply deranged#low key jorge in 2009 made such a scrunchy interesting comment about how valentino deals with his rivals... i do need to write that essay#to main tag or not to main tag..... hm. nah let's not#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#u can kinda argue that both big valentino attacks on marc show the dangers of bottling things up...#like deadass if you'd just had normal amounts of drama before those incidents it wouldn't have been SO bad#just do a friendship break up with him after assen 2015 and everything after that is way more sane and normal#if you criticise him a bunch during 2017 for being a dick on track sure it sparks a lot of discourse but it makes arg '18 less horrendous#kinda just eats away gradually at him and then suddenly it boils over#goes both ways of course... marc's response to that misano 2019 quali incident did take me aback. very funny though#one of his most valentino-esque weekends in the sport start to finish. absolute cinema love that dickhead
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opened up some original fiction notes i fully forgot making six months ago, which are about what sol is about to do to this minor antagonist, and audibly murmured, "oh, jesus Fucking christ."
#original fiction#sol#i sketched all her dialogue while she's doing um. several atrocities#you can really tell that at the time i was like 'i need to make it absolutely clear that this woman is a sadist.'#'like yes she has a mysterious moral code and does things mostly that she believes are good. she's also uh. not. not good'#'i know you thought she was gonna have a heart of gold and a sense of empathy. um. she doesn't.'#since writing the princess luz AU my horror has just gotten uglier and more grotesque because if i can write luz noceda as an#unapologetic murderer..... i need to up my game when it comes to writing women who are actually truly horrific and scawy.#the shit sol is doing now is definitely gonna echo in weird sex she has with devin later. we love to write derangement
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wait aint no fucking way an actual genshin loretuber even jokingly acknowledged the rabbit hole insanity that is childe 3rd descender theories what the fuck.
is it finally legal for me to break my self imposed silence on the subject without publicly and shamefully removing all my credibility on genshin lore. please please . this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me guysssss
(under read more bc full disclosure 100% i Will embarrass myself here. this is NOT on my top of the line Childe Theories And Analysis That I Will Defend In Court Under My Legal Name if Questioned list please understand. this is way more self indulgent and wildly speculative for me as much as i do Genuinely see there being a ground for the theory to stand on. ik when im off to the deep end JKWDKJJKWDJKWD)
like seriously be Aware this WILL be a complete mess btw you have all been warned so like no refunds accepted. if youd like to keep an image of me in your head where i am even slightly respectable and realistic when it comes to my theories please stay there. in the light. where the sun shines.
......
...
so. you have chosen death. o7
ok firstly. YES i KNOWW childe 3rd descender theory is batshit stuff thats Why i havent said shit abt it all this time bc i do Not trust myself to be truly objective on the subject bc i Want the theory to be real so bad so its like of course ill readily disregard all other possible candidates for 3rd descender bc bias. and also see it as more plausible that ajax has sth to do w that and make connections more readily. than any lore enthused person existing without his continued rent free existence in their brain for the last 3+ years. so like. yes. listen. i Know i know its prolly not real. but also i must # speak my truth .
anyway the vid didnt even fully touch on all the like. shady fucking shit when it comes to the Curious coincidences. bc like. so firstly the star thing and connections w childe
so wei did bring up the whole . ajax is released on patch 1.1 called "a new star approaches" (and also polar star is his sig) . except like Theres More bc while i was researching random childe brain rot stuff (sadly dont remember/have a link to where i first saw it) . that title in CN is even more pointedly About ajax bc apparently its about a "guest star". and a guest star again according to that post at least is specifically considered an omen of bad luck in chinese astrology. a guest star approaching = a disaster approaching. like mayhaps a ginger guy resurrecting osial or something . huh . maybe ajax Is the guestpilled starmaxxer in that title. the approacherrrrrr, even
secondly. there are some well hidden references to ajax As A Star in the fontaine AQ too. bc the act III where we go looking for him after he goes missing is called "to the stars shining in the depths" except again i have found a source (yes no link to it saved once again my bad) that its titled "to the morning star in the deep water" in chinese. which is again star singular. curious
then theres the act III official description. that goes "the moment it seized its destiny, the star quietly fell from its lofty perch". and like idk abt yall but if its fontaine AQ act III and you ask me WHOS out there seizing their destiny of all things. It Seems Somewhat Plausible To Argue that its PROBABLY referring to the guy thats out there getting teleported to the primordial sea to face the creature thats Literally etched into the stars as his constellation. like . i have a very Difficult time trying to see the star that is seizing its destiny at this moment as Anyone but him reuniting w the narwhal for the first time in a decade and his 1st thought is to throw hands JKJKWDJKWDJKWDJK
(also. "fell from its lofty perch". fell from where. falling towards where. mayhaps even................ descending?????? if Seizing your destiny is taking your fate into your own hands.... a star that Falls from its perch.... that Descends after seizing its destiny....... Curious is all i will say. hey guys do you think your vision would mayhaps begin rejecting you if you start seizing ur own destiny and thus failing to follow the "duty" of predestined fate that same vision had bestowed upon you. guys do you think a star that seizes its destiny and falls from its lofty perch would get vision error 404. guys----)
also this is a smaller thing bc i think ascension mat theories are largely fringe and not that reliable (ning guizhong reincarnation "theories" ThoseWhoKnow) but i do think it can be acknowledged as a sort of. Extension to all these curious references to stars and being A Star when it comes to childe. he does use Star Conches for ascension . so like it can be a little extra on top of the other more serious more Professionally Certified star things hoyo is curiously attaching to him
so like . a star. a star also being a thing the traveler is repeatedly called. its so quirky that this pattern continues. so thats one thing
oh and also. if childes the non-descender (bc he clearly hasnt regained that status Yet) reincarnated soul of the 3rd descender.
you know what. a dead star. if its massive enough. like perhaps massive enough in some genshin metaphysical fantasy way. to be a star that counts as a descender with a will that rivals a world. if a heavy enough. star. dies. you know. you know what they turn into---
[THERE IS A MAD GLEAM IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR BOSS MUSIC.]
Anyway Hello Dear Reader Of Mine Humble Blog Would You Like To Spare A Moment To Discuss How The All-Devouring Narwhal That Consumes Any And All Stellar Object Coming Into Its Orbit Also Known As Ajax' Reflection In Teyvat's Skies Is Essentially A Sentient Living Black Hole And How A Black Hole Is Formed When A Star Dies? No? Okay.
like wouldnt it be super fucking funny if the constellation of the dead descenders reincarnated soul is a creature that for all intents and purposes is a black hole. like. a dead star. wouldnt that be funny
and before you ask. yes i have thoughts that would make ajax & narwhal are soulmates slash halves of the same entity that remains fully compatible with the 3rd descender brainrot but i. will Not subject you people to that. theres "respectably self aware insane theory i indulge in but know the limitations of" and then theres "jens top 10 personal jenshin impact plot twist wishlist please fulfill mr dawei pwease i swear itll be peak" like ffs. it might seem otherwise given the words i am saying right now but i do have Some propriety
the divine halberd was shattered into NINE piece---- (GUNSHOT)
whoa. what a loser high on her own hopium i wonder who that was. good thing the snipers got her ass there
back to your regularly scheduled programming. obviously theres other things that would very conveniently be explained by this 3rd descender shit as well like. dead eyes. soul of a dead descender thats in Literal Pieces body wise. the dead star that carries a curse above ground upon first making contact with the truth of his being aka post abyss training camp post meeting his mirror imaged destiny in his narwhal. a curse like mayhaps bringing chaos whenever he goes. an incompatibility with the world. drawing everything into his orbit being the eye of the storm or perhaps... the Singularity???? the event horizon??? a source of endless unrest and disaster........ just like the curse of a gnosis TEE HEE .
anyway super funny how that goes. and then another thing wei didnt really. fully go into is naturally the
(DEEP BREATH)
3rd son of his family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings 3rd limited character ever released with 3 names and the 3rd weekly boss with 3 phases each representing 3 unique sources of power (vision, delusion and foul legacy) a 3 petaled symbol aka the triquetra of riptide and six in-game constellations divided into 3 subgroups with 3 unique prefixes (foul legacy, abyssal mayhem, havoc in eng) 3 days missing from teyvat and 3 months spent in abyss is 3rd to wield foul legacy after surtalogi and skirk
also the first character to receive a 3rd rateup banner ANYWAY (also the possible. is the 3rd reincarnation of the original ajax thing. but yeas)
[Me When I'm In A Be Suspiciously Associated With The Number 3 Competition And My Opponent Is Childe Ajax Tartaglia]
isnt it just silly. how many times it comes up. Nobody talk to meeeee its so over
theres prolly some other things too that i have driven myself to madness with when thinking abt this but idr em right now and like . not like this is any manner of serious respectable theory anyway sooooooooo
anyway ill stop embarrassing myself now. like as i said i have been legally forcing myself into silence on this bc listen. i KNOW this is bullshit i KNOW im a deranged biased childe main who will do Anything just to cook up a fantasy version of genshins endgame lore where My Dude is at the center stage and gets to be a massive fucking deal yes 100% deserve to be disqualified on account of terminal stage blorbo bias when it comes to theories on the subject i just. the fact that this is the FIRST time i see Any loretuber person acknowledge the theory. i just had to come in here and let it be known that. Yes. ive been seeing this shit and thinking abt it SINCE 4.2 dropped since that stupid fucking note about forsaking the self and being reborn in the abyss as a holy infant or a primordial human or a descender and that somehow Thats called Ajax. of all things. its horribleeee it eats me alive
#(runs away and hides) btw you CANNOT come at me for this. i know i am saying deranged things i knooooowwww i just simply had to speak#with the many words and thoughts that plague my mind about this . i know its prolly not real at all#but also.... if its not real why are there all these strange thingsssssssss#why do things line uppppppppp im gonna cry#anyway. me when genshin loretuber does wild far fetched theory i dislike: omgg this is why i cant take this stuff seriously. be seriousss#me when genshin loretuber insane theory but its MY man and MY favorite insane theory: SPEAK THE TRUTH#i am such a hypocrite when it comes to ajax its actually embarrassing..................#like ive never even Watched any of weis vids before this but i saw this one and its instantly like YESSSSS IM NOT ALONE IN THE VISION#honestly i kinda just wish for my own sake that this all turns out to be as fake and far fetched as it feels sometimes bc like.#my egomania. if this is real. i will be the absolute worst i am terrified of even the thought of what a complete bitch i will become#if i actually call it JKDWJKJKDWJKEJKSFJKWDJKWJK#anyway#genshin#rambles#childeposting#long post
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i will never be able to put into words how amazing it is to have hanae natsuki play mikoto
#milgram#im actually this guys biggest fan#i freak out over his role announcements literally every time i see them even if i have no fuckin idea who hes playing#im just happy hes getting roles man#such a phenomenal voice actor#i get so sad whenever hes doing sad scenes because just hearing his voice sound heartbroken makes ME heartbroken#doesnt matter how dogshit the rest of the series was#if a hanae natsuki character is sad then IM sad#im emotionally deranged over mikoto. as u can imagine#lxm textposts#also in case anyone doesnt know he has a youtube channel#and its the funniest fucking thing ever because he only plays horror games#and the other day he posted a lethal company video and its like#dude why is kayano mikoto playing lethal company LMFAO#god i wish i knew japanese i just watch these vids having absolutely no idea whats being said but i enjoy it so much anyway
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I really don't get how everything can be going right one day, and my art's coming out better than I could've possibly expected, then a switch seems to flip and I'm back to "this looks like a 12-year-old's back of the science notebook scribbles" except without any of the joy. How is this a thing that can happen, for real.
#i've scrapped like three pieces today#because they all look absolutely deranged#it feels like i've straight up forgotten how to draw from one day to the next#which is particularly frustrating on my day off#the day in which i can actually do fun things#but the fun things have to work with me here#and also be fun
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Simon derangement page number um I lost count!!! Time to explain things and transcribe my handwriting lol >:3
I put a photo of the whole page here because some things were hard to single out into separate images :)
A pose study! I was trying to work on foreshortening with that arm position. Just imagine that he’s talking to someone off screen and sweating cause he’s been working out or something d(^^ )
Two of these are based on some reaction image doodles I ran into on Pinterest that I’m pretty certain originated on tumblr lol. The bottom left one says “*realization*” and the top right one says “deranged —>” with the arrow pointing to our Mr. Deranged in question, Simon. The Simon and Richter one is kinda poking fun at the general Smash Bros fandom depiction of them and is also based on a doodle I saw on Pinterest.
Bottom left says “he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces” lol. Dw! He is your friend! I just forgot to write that part :). I hope the tbh creature doodle is appreciated, I’ve drawn him like that more times than I’d like to admit—
This one is based on a photo of this guy (gotta be a Snapchat one idk I’ve never had Snapchat) with a monster energy and caption “KILL”. I think it fits the vibe.
Bottom left says “monsert!”, a silly bastardizarion of “monster”, again the energy drink. I feel like Simon would be the kind of guy to have caffeine at like 6PM and then wonder why he can’t sleep later lmao. Or worse have caffeine to avoid sleeping 💀. The other two doodles I drew because I woke up one morning and immediately imagined Simon with raccoon stripe hair for no reason.
This one is based on a tumblr post, it says “(Simon) the psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness” “(Christopher) any other diagnosises you’d like to share?” “(Simon) Autism”. That ending panel of Simon saying autism ended up a sticker in a discord server I’m in lmaooooo. Also I need to have more Simon and Christopher interactions cause I think they’d be friends aaaaa
The top doodle is based on a Simon MMD model I found of him as a Vocaloid and I thought that was hilarious and banger, we need more people making fun crossover stuff like that in the world lol. The bottom one is just him vibin(?). Idk he seems pretty distressed, but that’s his usual state so uh—
Another little pose doodle. I think his preferred sitting position is like criss cross applesauce on the floor. I don’t think he’d sit normally in chairs at all. I am now picturing him leaning a chair back too far help 💀.
This one is based on this meme that’s kinda poking fun at the art styles commonly found in yaoi with the last one being left blank for putting whatever you like there and implying in a comedic way that it’s ‘straight man yaoi’, I’ve seen ones with things like football players or idk Breaking Bad put there lol. Basically I saw the meme and realized that all the different styles kinda lined up too well with some Simon designs and well yeah this happened 💀💀💀. So we got Ayami Kojima’s design as “straight woman yaoi”, the NES cover art/X68000 as “gay man yaoi”, Simon’s Quest as “lesbian yaoi”, and Captain N thrown into “straight man yaoi” lmaooo.
Okie that’s all for this one, I will make more inevitably lol
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#art post#my art#simon’s quest#Castlevania nes#akumajou dracula#castlevania chronicles#silly posting#shitposting?#castlevania memes#I think that covers all of it uh yeah#I have too many ideas most of the time and then get overwhelmed by them#BUT when I do get them on paper things like this happen so eh it’s worth it I guess#I keep realizing that there’s way more things to post here than I thought#these are all fairly new tho tbh I think#time is not my strong suit tho 💀💀💀#I think of Simon as a little bit more deranged than how I’ve usually seen him depicted#please imagine Simon sitting in a chair like an absolute disaster thanks#he would sit sideways with his legs crossed and over one of the arm rests#possibly also just criss cross applesauce on the chair lmao#now imagine him in a public space where you have to say seated generally uniformly hahahahahdjddkahskfkdj#ok wait just imagine Simon in public—#I need to draw some of the ideas I had of him like in modern times cause like#bro was around before the time of wide spread trains in Europe and would’ve probably never had a tomato so like#I think a cherry slushee would (figuratively) kill him#he’d probably like it tho ngl#simon can be a little silly as a treat he worked hard for it#aaaa not enough tag space I need to incoherently rant about him more
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'I genuinely think I wouldn't find Adam Nagaitis all that attractive in anything else, it's just how he plays Hickey,' I say, trying desperately not to think too deeply on what that says about me.
#it's the CHARISMA okay#he's an absolute ratboy but there's a weirdly deranged charisma there#(also no shade to the actor he's a perfectly fine looking man just doesn't do it for me)#the terror#cornelius hickey#also this is why i love tumblr you can post things like this here#if I were to show a irl person the terror and then say that#they'd deprive me of the right to vote and drive
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i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m
#ada speaks#there NEEDS to be more zhaoryu shit. but kazusaeji still holds my ass hostage so#if i am to write a comprehensive timeline of kiryu's sexuality and him coming to realizations about himself that lead to the way he's#changed in gaiden to be more. uh.#then i have got to start at 5 because its literally when he first begins to realize he's fr into men. and then gaiden & 8 he's like Out#i need his first time to be with saejima when he's at his lowest it just makes sense#theres so fucking much in 5 that feels like its really coming to a head#mayumi. why did they fucking do that. like also nakajima and his coworkers being like U Are Gay but.#mayumi. and hinata. why are you having him refuse sex with women TWICE in one game#i hc him as acespec but i also think he should get to fool around w saejima for narrative reasons#and by that i mean i think it would be absolutely devastating and tragic and also they would both legitimately be so normal about it#saejima knows he's going back to jail anyway so there's that#but god help kiryu he's absolutely trying to fill the loneliness void with People all the damn time#lowkey doing what he did with kaoru to saejima 😭#you're grieving the loss of your family? time to latch onto the woman going through the same thing just a year later#lost your emotional support daughter? allow a woman to live with you while you continuously rebuff her advances#lonely and directionless and feeling guilty for having dragged your loved ones into conflict again and again?#have sex with probably the Only guy who can understand exactly what you're going through but is consistently in a Way healthier mindset#it also makes the conversation they have on the rooftop of new serena so much more deranged if it happened before that#im normal btw thanks for asking
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