#is a little shit

[turtle-steverogers]

Consider: Bucky lets Alpine wander all over their kitchen counters if she pleases. Steve, however, tries to keep her off the counters. Sometimes Bucky walks in on Steve having a dead serious conversation with Alpine (sometimes even in his serious, disappointed Captain America voice), like, c'mon, girl, we talked about this.

OKAY CUZ ALPINE AND STEVE'S FEUD FEEDS MY LITERAL SOUL LIKE ON FUCKING GOD THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. now this isn't about kitchens or sandwiches, but you get the gist.

also norman is their dog. here is a picture commissioned from the super talented @hopelessartgeek by my dear friend @buffyscribbless !!! coolest thing ever!!!!

Enjoy!!!

-

“Bucky, get your fuckin’ cat, Jesus Christ!”

Steve resists the urge to throw the goddamn thing as Alpine bats his head with her paw for the millionth time since the movie started. Norman was growling up at her, drowning out the sounds of Indiana Jones in the background.  

“If you wanna murder her already, I’m not gonna stop you,” Steve grumbles to Norman, ducking his head as Alpine takes another swing at his ear.

“No, no one is murdering anyone,” Bucky snaps, padding into the room and plucking Alpine up from her purchase on the back of the couch. “You coulda just moved her if she was bothering you so much.”

“I tried!” Steve cries, sitting up indignantly. “She just hissed at me and started doing it again!”

Norman was whining now, turning in circles by Steve’s feet and casting furtive glances towards where Alpine was grooming herself on Bucky’s lap.

“That fucking gremlin seems to only like you,” Steve says, not bothering to keep the distaste from his tone.

“She can sense that you’re bothered with her,” Bucky says, staring lovingly down at Alpine, who is now asleep against his stomach.

“I don’t think cats work like that,” Steve scrunches his nose. “I just think she hates me.”

Bucky shrugs. “She’ll warm up to ya.”

“Hip hip fucking hooray.”

-

“Norman, no! No, Norman, leave her- no- fuck, BUCKY!”

Bucky barrels into the room freezing momentarily to take in the scene of Steve holding Norman back while Alpine shoves soil at them from her perch on one of the windowsills.  

He stifles a laugh and Steve shoots him a glare. “Shut the hell up and get your fucking demon out of the succulents.”

Swallowing his laughter and putting on a solemn face, Bucky crosses to Alpine and sets her on the ground.

“She’s just restless,” Bucky insists. “I just need to get her a cat tree or something.”

“Then fucking do it and don’t let her mess with my plants!” Steve just barely stops himself from stomping his foot.

“Okay, okay.” Bucky raises his hands in mock surrender. “I’ll go do that now. Go walk Norman or something.”

Steve huffs, grumbling to himself as he grabs Norman’s leash off its hook. On his way out, he tosses a middle finger in Alpine’s direction.

“Steven Grant!”

“She deserves it!”

-

It’s the middle of the goddamn night and Alpine is scratching. Bucky had kept to his word and gotten Alpine a cat tree, but since then, the fucking terror has done nothing but scratch the fucking thing. Steve wouldn’t mind if Bucky hadn’t insisted that they keep the tree in their bedroom so, ‘Alpine can sleep near us, c’mon, you let Norman sleep in our bed.’

Steve had lost that argument as soon as the Norman card was pulled. You can’t really argue with hypocritical logic.

“Will you please stop already!?” Steve hisses into the dark quiet of the room, careful not to wake Bucky or Norman up.

He sees Alpine’s yellow eyes turn in his direction and they hold eye contact for a tense moment before she hops up onto the bed next to Steve.

“Oh no you don’t,” Steve says through clenched teeth as Alpine begins to knead her paws into his stomach.

Steve groans, letting his head drop back onto the pillow. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

-

He’s home alone, fist clenched tightly in his hair as he tries to regain control over his breathing.  Norman’s hovering nearby, providing company and comfort, but not coming closer for fear of overwhelming Steve.  

He hadn’t expected the movie he’d been watching to trigger him, but one loud fight and a door slam later, he was 7 years old again, cowering under the kitchen table while his ma and dad screamed at each other. 

The shaking is getting worse and Steve has half a thought to call Bucky, but he’s in a meeting right now at the Tower and that would be unfair to ask of him. No, he could handle this by himself. Everything was going to be okay.

Another shout sounds from the TV and Steve gasps, reaching for the remote and forcefully shutting it off.  He braces his forearms on his knees and leans forward, opening his eyes and attempting to tap back into his surroundings.  Norman comes a little closer, nudging his hand with his nose until Steve begins to run a shaking hand down his head.

It does a little to calm his nerves, but his heartbeat is still too erratic and his senses are still foggy and anxious.  Across the room, Alpine meows loudly and Steve looks up in time to see her knock her plastic food bowl off the counter.  It’s empty and bounces when it hits the ground and Alpine fixes Steve with a look as if to say, ‘feed me’.

Steve huffs out a surprised laugh, panic forgotten as he stands from the couch, crossing to pick up the bowl before filling it with cat food.  He sets it back on the counter and watches in surprise as Alpine nestles her head against his arm before digging into the food.

“Ya know, you’re not actually that bad.” Alpine purrs in response and Steve smiles. “I think I might not hate you.”

Alpine cuts herself off from eating and begins to convulse violently, spitting up a hairball a few moments later.

Steve blinks. “What the fuck.”

Alpine just looks at him again, meowing.

[brokenlovesong]

LOVE IS NEVER A GUARANTEE

darry x paul rating: general word count: 6.7k

Paul and Darry were reminding him less and less of how he and Johnny were and more of Elizabeth and Mr.Darcy throughout the novel, Pride And Prejudice, which Ponyboy had just started. The only difference is that in the chapter he’s currently reading, Elizabeth and Mr.Darcy are still working through their reasons not to finally fall in love, whereas Darry and Paul have already set aside the differences that prevented them from forming a close relationship. Or The Darry/Paul Madras shirt fic that became way more complicated than it had to be.

[short excerpt]

“See? I told you the shirt would look good,” Paul said as he fixed the collar around Darry’s neck.

Darry’s cheeks were red as a tomato. He must have been running around all afternoon with Paul tossing the football around. Or maybe they went for a jog. “You’re just sayin’ that cause ya have to.”

“I’d say it even if I didn’t.” They were standing so close, they were probably breathing in each other’s breaths. Their noses were practically touching. “We still on for tomorrow?”

It seemed like Darry wanted to speak. But nothing came out when he opened his mouth despite the effort, as if all knowledge of the English language had suddenly vanished from existence. Instead, he just swallowed hard and nodded slowly. Darry wasn’t often at a loss for words. He was usually a pretty well spoken guy. Great at first impressions and an excellent public speaker. This was apparently not one of those times. But Ponyboy couldn’t quite figure out what had his brother so shell shocked.

Unfortunately, Paul moved from where he stood, previously obstructing the doorway that Ponyboy was speaking out of. He knew he was about to get caught and with all the stealth of a spy on their first day of training, he collided into one of the metal chairs, sending him backwards into an end table their mother kept a well watered flower vase on. Practically in slow motion, he watched as the vase teetered back and forth from the momentum of the table before toppling over to the ground. The glass shattered the moment it made contact with the hard, wood floor, spreading out into a million tiny shards almost impossible to see.

[full fic on ao3]

[allanalightwood]

I CAN'T. THE TAG ON THE FIC SAID REQUITED UNREQUITED LOVE SO I'M ASSUMING THAT YES THEY DO LIKE EACH OTHER? BAHA UHM HOLY SHIT

[montyluvsjasper]

Dear Hollywood people,

Please give Ewan Mitchell more period drama roles, something fluffy and romantic perhaps or a light hearted fantasy.

Sincerely,

A fan who is worried an actor won't work in anything big name again because his break out role was a hated controversial character.

Ps. He's such a good actor let people like him.

[c-h-e-r-r-i-e-s]

Dear reader

{Dear reader

If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one

Dear reader

Get out your map, pick somewhere and just run

Dear reader

Burn all the files, desert all your past lives

And if you don't recognize yourself

That means you did it right}

Chuuya paces his office. Back and forth across the plush rug. It’s been over a week since Dazai left the PM and he’s not worried. Dazai can take care of himself but at the same time… - no no. He’s fine. Anxiety takes hold in strange ways.

What do I do? He wonders.

Feet tripping to the suite where he sleeps most nights now. Into the bathroom, where he hangs his head low over the sink. The hot water steaming up around his face.

{Never take advice from someone who's falling apart}

Chuuya stands in the mirror picking at his skin softly. Splashing water on his face before massaging the foamy cleanser into his cheeks. Dragging his index finger into the crease between his cheek and nose. Massaging between his eyebrows.

Rinsing the foam from his face, his eyes meet the reflection again.

Depersonalization is a weird thing while you’re going through it.

Not recognizing yourself after growing so comfortable in your own skin.

Unsure of the hands touching your own face that feels numb.

{Never take advice from someone who's falling apart}

Chuuya picks up a towel and pats his face dry. Mouth hung agape as he stares into the plush white cloud in his hand.

The white towel reminding him of Dazai’s bandages and how the towels at his house were picked out by Dazai and how every single thing in Chuuyas life has been so heavily influenced by outside forces. Who even is he without others?

{Dear reader

Bend when you can, snap when you have to

Dear reader

You don't have to answer, just 'cause they asked you

Dear reader

The greatest of luxuries is your secrets

Dear reader

When you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss}

“I’m gonna kill that mother fucker” He says into the towel. A groan of frustration leaving his lips, followed by an attempt at a calming breath.

{Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

Never take advice from someone who's falling apart}

Shakily he moves to the liquor cabinet where he keeps his favorite wines.

{So I wander through these nights

I prefer hiding in plain sight

My fourth drink in my hand

These desperate prayers of a cursed man

Spilling out to you for free

But darling, darling, please

You wouldn't take my word for it

If you knew who was talking

If you knew where I was walking

To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there}

Chuuya sits slumped in a leather club chair. A bourbon glass full of red wine resting in his fist. Head lolled back and eye lids heavy.

A knock raps at the door.

“Yeah?”

Akutagawa enters tentatively, just barely poking his head through. Clearing his throat before he half steps in the room.

“May I join you?”

Chuuya just looks over and nods, a pout on his face. “Want a drink?”

“You know I do not drink that vile filth.. however I will sit”

Akutagawa sits with his back straight in the chair next to Chuuya.

“Why are you here Ryūnosuke ” chuuya slurs out.

“Your despair” he states plainly.

“It’s that bad?” Chuuya makes no moves to look at him now.

“Mori is concerned” Akutagawa says folding his hands in his lap.

Chuuya cringes and swirls the wine in his cup.

The pair sit in silence for a short time. Neither wanting to confirm how much Dazai’s presence meant to them. Neither wanting to say how affected they are now that he is gone.

But Akutagawa folds, “I miss him” lingers in the heavy tension of the air far too long.

“I know” Chuuya says softly. “Me too”

{Where I pace in my pen and

My friends found friends who care

No one sees when you lose

When you're playing solitaire

You should find another guiding light

But I shine so bright}

Just some Chuuya angst based on a Taylor swift song. This has been plaguing my brain for weeks.

@imafraidoftomorrow

[whitemagewithcoco]

Yes absolutely, there's a whole account here called @crowley-did-this if you need inspo

The thing abt Crowley that I think is missing from a lot of fan content is people like. how do I word this. people like him so much that they're not willing to make him do things they find unlikable. Crowley's demonhood is usually represented in fan stuff by him like, doing bad things to bad people, people who "had it coming" one way or another, which I think works in serious contexts but is just no fun if you're trying to match the tone of the source! Crowley comes up with and does things that are objectively annoying and unpleasant and that's Fine. It's hilarious. We all need to make peace with the fact that Crowley would play Instagram reels loud as hell on the train, she'd be in front of you on line at the drug store paying with exact change, she'd show up to your baby shower with one of those toys that make a bunch of noise, she invented the leafblower. Etc. These jokes write themselves they're so easy and they're always funny and I want to see more of that sort of energy

[anotherpapercut]

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

[brainrotcharacters]

When irl pisses me off, I rewatch the Honda Odyssey scene to relax

[a-sweeter-solarsystem]

take my hand for a moment

your objective from this point on is to survive

the election results are going to take a few days. The world is going to be very tense. I want you to take all the things you like to do to distract yourself and splurge on them. I want you to go eat your favroite foods and spend time with friends. I want you to do what you gotta do to make sure you can make it through the week.

There are people out there who want you to survive. There are people out there who are just as scared as you are.

We'll get through this. We will find a way

[za1ka]

noooooooo Aziraphale don't turn around you won't survive the cunt this diva is serving

[iwritelmao]

Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.

Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.

Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.

Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.

Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?

Bruce: what.

Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.

[littlelightfish]

Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:

Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.

(You can hear it here)

In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.

[yuwuta]

you hook up with izuku drunkenly at someone’s birthday party and it’s not even that you regret it in the morning it’s just that your post nut clarity hits that you slept with the boy you’ve known since pre-k all because of a couple of drinks and when he wakes up you’re still freaking out and you make him pinky promise that this won’t mess with your friendship, “izuku do you hear me? we are NOT going to be that pair of sad best friends that fucks everything up just because of sex. sex is nothing. we’re never gonna do it again, so we’ll be fine right?” and the whole time he’s nodding along with wide, glassy eyes not listening to a goddamn thing you’re saying because he’s been in love with you since middle school, and last night you said you loved him, too. granted he was inside of you, and he said it first, but you said it back, and by that point it was well after one in the morning so the only thing you two were drunk on were each other. it’s probably why the very next day he is at your doorstep with a notebook in hand and a grin on his face that’s something right in between cocky and sweet when he says “i think we should sleep together again. and before you say no, i made a list about why 😁 number one: we’re really good at it. number two—”

[arkangelo-7]

Love the idea of the Batfamily showing a serious, united front whenever they’re working with the Justice League (i.e., obeying Bruce’s orders without question or defaulting to Dick’s authority, following Bruce’s comm protocol, upholding expected field etiquette, coordinating with one another with terrifying efficiency, and generally just not fucking around), but then the minute they get back to the Cave they immediately start to throw hands over who gets to use the PS5.