#ironically the episode called taking notes

[labyrinthineclockwork]

I've been keeping a spreadsheet of all of the Magnus Protocol case categorizations and I've just now found the first thread of a theory.

In the selected column, you'll see each code starts with CAT 1, 2, or 3. We've just received our third CAT3 today. I assume CAT is category, and my suspicion is that they're categorized based on their relation to the Magnus Institute and/or Jonah Magnus, a higher number indicating more relevance. The only CAT 3s have been either about the Institute, or read by Augustus, who is heavily theorized to be Jonah himself. If this categorization is based on Magnus relevance, the OIAR must be linked to surveillance of specifically Magnus-related things, or that categorization wouldn't exist. The implications of this? Still up in the air. I'd be willing to bet though, that whatever we hear in next week's episode will be at Least category 3, though I'd love to see our first 4.

[adalindofcabinsix]

that kind of love never dies (II)

summary: the one where jake realizes the complexity of a supposedly simple plan.

pairing: jake x mc

word count: 1.4K

warnings: tkolnd takes place after the events of episode 10; cover images found on pinterest; english is not my first language.

author’s note: i love this chapter. it was so much fun to write jake's first meeting with mc. the game left many unresolved questions and i will try to answer them based on the information we already have and a little imagination.

masterlist

Without any hesitation, he nodded. There was no point in lying now, not after everything they had done to get Hannah back. And, even if it bothered him a little, Barbara had won his trust.

“A penny for your thoughts.” The hacker asked, seeing the confusion in her eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“It's a long story.”

“I have time.” She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting.

Jake took a deep breath to calm himself. They definitely didn't have time. However, he knew he would need to do his best to make her trust him again.

“Long story short, an old alert from Nym-0s showed results yesterday saying that you bought a plane ticket to Switzerland. Since the airport was close to Duskwood, I thought I'd better investigate.”

“Have you been following me since New York?”

“Not exactly, I bought a nonstop flight from Tokyo to Zurich.”

“Why didn't you tell me who you were when we bumped into each other at the airport?”

He hated the fact that his tone was more hurt than angry. Jake opened his mouth to apologize, then closed it. Looking over her shoulder, he noticed the presence of a hooded figure standing in front of the open door of the chinese restaurant, hunching his shoulders against the pouring rain.

Barbara's cell phone immediately started ringing with a call. Frowning, she reached for the device inside her bag, and Jake didn't need to understand portuguese to know what was written on the screen.

“Unknown number?”

“Yes.” She lifted her head, meeting Jake's eyes.

“Great.” He said ironically, taking the cell phone from her hand and sliding his finger to the left to reject the call. “Come on, I'll explain everything to you on the road.”

“All right.” Barbara answered, allowing Jake to lead the way. “But if you're lying about who you are, I'll break your nose.”

“It's fair.”

The hacker kept walking , and she ran to keep up with him, dodging a puddle of water. Two minutes later, they stopped in front of a gray Mercedes-Benz crowned with a red convertible roof parked behind the Gates Hotel.

“Please tell me it’s not stolen.”

“It's not stolen!” Jake looked at her offended, opening the passenger door.

“Sorry! It's just that in my mind you were poor. Which, when you think about it, doesn't make sense, right? How would you do everything you do without money?”

“You are impossible, Barbara.” He shook his head in disbelief.

“I can't be impossible, Jake, I exist.” She replied, rolling her eyes theatrically. “I think you meant that I'm unbelievable.”

“Get in the car straight away.” He ordered, but he was smiling, his eyes filled with something like pleasure.

“I have some questions.” Barbara announced when they stopped at a red light.

“Of course you have.” Jake smiled amusedly, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Earlier, at the airport, was our meeting on purpose?”

“Yes. I couldn't risk my position by tracking you via cell phone so I had to be creative.”

“Something tells me you're the type to put trackers in people's favorite coat pockets.” She was surprised when he didn't deny it. “Seriously?” Barbara scoffed, rubbing her hands down her arms.

“That worked, didn't it?” He said, undoing his seat belt. “Here, you must be cold.”

Before Barbara could object, Jake took off the leather jacket he was wearing and handed it towards her.

“Thank you, Jake.” She accepted the offer, her cheeks blushing beautifully as she quickly looked away from the defined muscles that were marked by the white t-shirt.

“You're welcome.” He looked straight ahead again, covering his mouth with the back of his left hand to hide a smile of pure satisfaction.

He looked straight ahead again, covering his mouth with the back of his left hand to hide a smile of pure satisfaction.

“Were you in Tokyo this whole time?” Barbara questioned, placing the jacket over her shoulders.

“Tokyo, New Delhi, Manila... I needed to keep myself busy so I didn't think about you too much.”

“I'm unforgettable, aren't I?”

“Too unforgettable for your own good.” He agreed, replacing his belt and accelerating the car to get them moving again.

She sighed loudly.

“Yeah, I guess that explains why the FBI won't leave me alone.”

“What?”

“You have no idea why I'm here, do you?”

“Considering who I saw at the chinese restaurant, I think I might have an idea.”

“They sent some messages yesterday, inviting me to that same restaurant we talked about last time. The writing was very similar to yours, but it wasn't the same.”

“You knew it wasn't me and you came anyway?”

“We had an agreement, and as a future lawyer, I couldn't let them get away with this so easily.”

“What was your plan?” He waited for an answer, but Barbara just shrugged. “What? Didn't you have one?”

“We brazilians work better under pressure.”

Jake had to stop himself from giving her an irritated look.

“Well, at least this time the FBI is innocent.”

“What do you mean?”

“Old habits never die, right? I figured something was wrong when you didn't go directly to Duskwood, so I accessed the security cameras around the hotel and watched the footage from the past two days.”

“Did you find anything?”

“Nothing too out of the ordinary, but there was one guy who caught my attention. I think I've seen him before. Anyway, I've run his face through facial recognition software and will have confirmation by the end of the night.” He met her eyes, his expression becoming serious. “Barbara, do you understand how…”

“Stupid to come here alone without knowing what I would face? Yes, the reality is starting to knock. In my defense, I would never imagine that someone from the outside could have access to our conversations.”

“Breaking into the FBI database is complicated, but not impossible. This guy was supposed to be looking for information about me and ended up finding you along the way. I'm sorry for bringing you into this.”

She made a nonchalant gesture, dismissing his apologies.

“You're only here because I was impulsive and played my role as a decoy very well, so I think we can say we're even.”

“I will always be in your debt.” Jake declared softly, weaving through traffic with ease.

The rest of the trip flew by, and the next thing he knew, he was parking near the Aurora's curb.

“What are we doing here?” Barbara looked at him uneasily, her voice sounding louder.

“I need to drop you off somewhere safe before I go back to get my gear from the hotel I'm staying at.”

“A bar is the last place I would think of, I have to admit.”

Jake snorted.

“As much as you approve, we only came here to get Jessica's address.”

“I thought you gathered information on all of us when Hannah was kidnapped.”

“I did, but Jessica moved out a few months after Richy got arrested. And since the FBI is monitoring activity around your friends' digital data, I'm forced to do this the hard way.”

“You mean... Talking?”

“Talking to Phil.”

She stifled a laugh.

“You can wait in the car if you want.”

“I'm not leaving you alone with this guy.” He rolled his eyes, stepping out into the drizzle that was decreasing with each second.

“In that case, why not go to Lilly or Dan?” Barbara commented, carefully slamming the car door. “I'm sure it would be less unpleasant for you.”

“I don't want others to know I'm in town.” Jake said, stopping beside her under the bar's canopy. “Not yet.”

“You're avoiding your sisters, aren't you?”

“It is complicated.”

“I know it's none of my business, but they'd be happy to hear from you. Especially Lilly.”

“Since when have you been Lilly's defender?”

“Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are.” Barbara laughed, brushing an invisible speck of dust off her dress. “How do I look?”

Jake analyzed her from head to toe for a few moments, seeing the way Barbara's hair fell over her arm in messy locks, how her smudged mascara highlighted the beauty of her light brown eyes, and how her dress, almost completely dry, outlined each centimeter of her body.

“Beautiful.”

“I'm serious, Jake!”

“Me too.” He smiled adoringly, intertwining his fingers with hers. “Come on, I don't want to prolong this any longer than necessary.”

taglist: @daniiiworlds; @labemquarts; @deinily

[xmalereader]

Viktor Targaryen x Male Reader

☆ — MASTERLIST — ☆

SUMMARY: An AU regarding The house of dragons and arcane, Viktor is the second born child of King Targaryen and king to be, but Viktor doesn’t want the iron throne, nor does he want to stay in Dragonstone.

WARNINGS/CONTENT: Fluff, family history, no incest, sibling bonding, slight sexism and misogyny, Viktor is a good brother, OC dragon name, high valyrian, Viktors mother, mentions of Jayce, Piltover is a growing kingdom, short interaction with reader, non accurate GOT and HOTD lore.

WC: 2.0K

NOTES: I don’t know SHIT about game of throne or house of dragons 😅 but based on the little research I did and very few random episodes hopefully I am able to make this story make sense. It won’t really fit within the GOT universe so don’t judge me for the changes I will be making! But I just had to write this because Viktor just reminded me of the Targaryens due to the white hair when he was inside the arcane.

Viktor Targaryen was the second born child of King Targaryen, brother to Rhaenyra Targaryen. Only difference about him was that both siblings had a different mother, same father. Viktors mother was a commoner, a low life, as one would say and yet, she found a way to capture the kings heart. Rheanyra wasn’t too happy about her fathers marriage thinking that the women was only seducing her father in order to get her way only to realize that she was a very kind hearted women who wanted nothing to do with the Iron Throne.

When she fell pregnant with Rheanyra’s new baby brother she at first didn’t like the idea of having a brother, knowing that he would be the one to take over the throne and not her. Just as her father had promised her she knew that the promise would be broken the minute her brother would be born, being granted approval as the new future king.

Only Viktor never wanted the crown.

When Viktor got older he would remember hearing the murmurs of the council discussing on who would take over the throne after his father passes. Many in the council wanted Viktor to take over, but even he knew he wouldn’t be a proper king. His sister was perfect for the throne, he’s seen the way people bend to the knee for her, even their dragons bowed to her. She was the rightful heir, not him.

The first time the council called for him to take the throne he refused. It didn’t matter if he was the first born son, the crown wasn’t his and he wouldn’t take it away from someone who it did belong to. Things didn’t get better for Viktor, his father continued to grow ill and his own mother passed from the grey mist, air that poisoned her lungs until she could no longer breath anymore.

The council continued to push him to accept the crown and each time he rejected it.

Rhaenyra had noticed her brothers anger and was the one to approach him about it. Finding him out on the terrace where he overlooked their people, a frown on his face as the moonlight shined down upon them.

“You’re angry.”

He’s quiet when hearing her words.

Rhaenyra lets out a deep sigh through her nose. The two already knew where this was going, no matter how hard she tried the throne would never be given to her all because she was a women. A women that couldn’t lead a kingdom to peace, but Viktor knows that she can. He’s seen it in her.

“The council wants me to claim the iron throne. No matter how many times I refuse they will never stop.” Viktor finally says and looks over his shoulder to find his sister, looking at him with an upset expression of her own.

“They won’t stop until you sit on that throne.”

“I know that.”

Viktor never liked the idea of being a ruler. Yes, he wanted to help humanity without being needed anything in return. If he could do that he would, but the council would refuse him and expect him to follow along the traditions, keeping everything in balance for future generations.

His own father only spoke to the people whenever they entered their castle for help, he was never out in the streets and facing the reality of their suffering. Viktor had seen it, he had seen the terrible conditions his people lived in and no matter how much he wanted to help them he wouldn’t be able to without claiming the throne which would restrict him from doing things his own way.

Which is why he believes his own sister could be a better ruler then him. She would follow the traditions while also finding a way to help their people in her own ways.

“You should be on that throne, not me.” Viktor suddenly says, catching Rhaenyra by surprise as she approached him, standing by his side. His eyes locking with hers. “You’re the rightful heir to the iron throne, they may not see it but I do.” He’s heard the councils murmurs and distaste about the idea of her being the one to take over when both he and his father knew that she was the rightful one.

“You know they won’t allow it.”

“You’re right, they won’t.” He gentle takes her hand into his gloved one. “If I’m not here.” He sees the look of disbelief in his sisters eyes, he has thought about this for a very long time. The only way he’d be free from the crown is if he left, disappeared from this place that he once called home.

“You can’t leave, you’re my brother.”

“A brother who is holding their sister back from claiming what is rightfully theirs.”

Both siblings have grown close throughout the years that there were times where they were inseparable always attached to the hip and helping each other out. He was there when his sister first bared a child, the fear in her eyes when she refused help from the maids, afraid of facing a similar outcome as her mother. He was always there for her just as she was for him the day he lost his mother, watching as they tossed her coffin into the sea where the ocean waters claimed her as theirs.

But now, Viktor has to be the one to make the hard choices.

Rhaenyra is at lose for words, unable to say anything. She can see it in her brothers eyes that there is no way in convincing him to stay. So, she gives him a silent goodbye. Her forehead is pressed against his the two taking in their final moment together before Viktor pulls away first, giving her a sad smile.

“ēva īlon rhaenagon arlī.”

And with that final goodbye he leaves his sister.

Escaping into the dead of night he mounts his dragon, Xanthus, and takes off. Disappearing from his family line and being known as the ‘The Lost Child’.

Viktor had no idea where he was even going, he had no plan nor did he know anyone that he can ask for assistance. He couldn’t stay where his name was known nor could he be close to his own home.

So, Xanthus flew them out far.

Far from home and across the sea to a whole new world that Viktor didn’t know existed. Viktor didn’t think that he’d find a place meant for him until he stumbled upon an island called Piltover. It was rather small, but decent. The people there lived comfortably, but of course they had a council of their own and when Viktor first made an appearance with his dragon the place grew in panic, bells ringing in alert from his presence and causing the whole town to go into lockdown.

When Xanthus lands near the bridge that connected two different towns he was greeted with soldier wielding their weapons at him. The threat wasn’t taken lightly by Xanthus the large golden dragon ready to strike them down with a simple command that comes from his rider only it never came.

It wasn’t until a short man makes his way through the crowd of soldiers, hands behind his back as he stares up at Viktor and Xanthus. The man had a brightness in his eyes that somewhat eased Viktor.

“Magnificent beast.” The man didn’t seem scared of Xanthus which caught Viktor by surprise. Everyone back at home worshipped their dragons like gods, knowing how dangerous and powerful they can be and how impossible it was to kill a dragon.

The large beast releases a hiss towards the man. “Gīda.” He placed a hand on the dragons neck, providing soothing rubs as he calms the dragon down from doing anything harsh.

“Magnificent.” He hears the man repeat in awe which has Viktor chuckling, letting go of the reigns and sliding off his dragon who stood by him in a protective way, ready to attack in case anything were to happen to him. “Do you say that a lot?” Viktor asks with an arched brow which has the man chuckling a smile on his face.

“Only when I see something very interesting.”

Viktor can only smile at the mans cheerfulness finding it quiet odd since he’s never been around someone like him before. That was the first time he met Heimerdinger, head of the council of Piltover. When Viktor first met the council he was surprised by how many women were involved, something he’s never seen back at Dragonstone. They held their heads up high and spoke with confidence, intimidation radiating off of them when asking him where he came from and why he was here.

At first he didn’t know if providing his family name was a good idea, afraid of them alerting his family, but when they heard the name ‘Targaryen’ it was unknown to them. A sense of relief washed over Viktor and for the first time ever he felt free from the bonds that his family name carried.

Viktor was lucky enough to stay, getting the councils approval as long as he maintained his dragon from causing them any trouble. Which then resulted into Viktor finding them a home for themselves. Xanthus hated cramped spaces and never stayed underground like he did back at Dragonstone he always remained above ground where he knew he could easily defend himself without feeling trapped like his brothers and sisters did.

The time he spent in Piltover resulted into him learning about their history and becoming Heimerdingers pupil, learning from the shorter man and providing his own assistance. He’s seen what Piltover is doing to advance into their future, providing their people easier ways to travel and transport goods which Viktor helped with.

Viktor doesn’t know how long he spent living in Piltover that with time he befriend a man named Jayce who wanted to do so much for the future. Not only had he met Jayce, but he had also met a young man who worked alongside the council. He was the assistant to Council women Merdarda he had seen him around but never really spoke to him until he caught him once with Xanthus.

He usually checked up on his dragon, caring for him ever since he was a hatchling and tightening their bond everyday only to be surprised when Xanthus allows another human to approach him so easily. Most dragons wouldn’t listen to anyone unless its a Targaryen member and to see this with his own eyes made him rethink his families history.

“He likes you.”

The man gasps when hearing Viktor, pulling his hand away from the dragons scaly neck. Xanthus lets out a small rumble in the back of his throat, shifting to lie his head on the grass below him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to��“

Viktor shakes his head. “It’s alright, he usually doesn’t allow anyone to approach him unless its me. It caught me by surprise that he allowed anyone else besides me to touch him.” His own gloved hand trails down the dragons neck, stepping closer to the man who swallows nervously.

“I was curious.”

“Your curiosity can get you hurt,” His eyes trail from Xanthus to the assistant. “Or killed.”

“I have a strange habit of approaching dangerous things without thinking twice.” His words causes Viktor to chuckle, blue eyes locking with the mans, his hand not leaving Xanthus neck it always brought him a sense of comfort.

“You’re Merdard’s assistant?”

The man gives a cocky grin. “I am.” He responds back. “You must be Heimerdingers?”

Viktors lip twitch into a smile when hearing his question being thrown back at him.

“I am.” He confirms his words which has the other nodding along. A silence falls between them before the other cuts it first.

“I never got your name.”

The Targaryen turns to look at him. “It’s Viktor.”

[andy-wm]

Before and after: An intimate moment with the Golden Boy

Or-

Tell me you just had sex without telling me you just had sex...

Before:

Hint: it's the lips.

After:

eta: I used my laptop to take better SS of his mouth, and look at how the indents on his lip align with his teeth... interesting...

And again...

Before:

Hint: it's the mood

After:

Please don't tell me you think he's been asleep. Nobody wakes up that happy.

Also, leaving the room fully dressed and returning with half your clothes missing is a dead give-away.

Here's another before and after, but not quite as obvious as the above....

Remember when JK went on Suchwita with Yoongles and he was on a very strict diet? Intermittent fasting for 20 hours a day or something like that?

It was because he was preparing to do the jacket shoot for Golden. Yoongi asked if he'd been working out lately and JK said "I work out hard".

This was his torso that day, after eating bbq with Yoongi:

Hint: it's the definition of his torso

This was his torso after eating bbq with Jimin in NY:

That's a body that's done work.

Even if you're super fit and strong and lean AF, your muscles dont just pop like this.

You have to exercise to make them pop like this. You have to pump them...

That's why weightlifting is sometimes called called the pump or pumping iron. The pump refers to the muscles swelling with blood, looking and feeling like they've been inflated. which makes them look way more impressive for a little while after.

But I digress....

For those who might say that having sex isn't a workout, perhaps you've never topped. It's your abs and your glutes that do the work when you're thrusting, and if you're holding yourself up above someone else (or doing a glute bridge, or even just rolling your hips underneath them) you're gonna fatigue pretty quickly if you dont have strength and stamina in that department.

Looking at his body I can confidently say JK was not the pillow princess that night.

eta: yes, I did notice the scratches *smirk*

On another happy note its only 190 days till they complete their service!

After watching Episode 1 of I am Still, I felt duty-bound to share these delicious morsels. As always, these thoughts are my own. Feel free to bring your critical thinking skills and evidence and disagree respectfully

💜👨‍❤️‍👨💛

[wonnieluv]

Live from New York, It’s Saturday Night! - Mark Lee

Summary: In September 2024 you found out that you’ll be hosting Saturday Night Live in December! You’re a bit nervous and as time passes you realize you need to choose a musical guest. What happens when you request one of your favorite artists and he just so happens to be in NY that weekend for Jingle Ball AND has a new solo releasing the next Monday (you just don’t know about the solo yet). Will he say yes?

soloist!Mark x actress!reader

warnings: implied that Y/N reads fan fiction about Mark because I thought it was funny, fluff, kissing

masterlist

author’s note: I know all of Dream were in NY but for plot purposes Mark is a soloist in this fic because I didn’t want Y/N to seem like a solo stan for inviting Mark alone

“MATT IF YOU DON’T SAY SIKE RN I’M GOING TO HIT YOU” a woman’s loud voice echos through the apartment

“Y/N WHY WOULD I JOKE ABOUT THIS. I know this has been a dream of yours” A males voice can be heard from the phone in the her hand.

Let’s pause and give some background context, shall we?

Y/N L/N, accomplished actress at the young age of 23 years old. You’ve been acting since a young age starting on the Disney Channel. When you were a teen you made it out of Disney and began taking more rolls outside of the image you had previously crafted for so many years. Now here you are, a multi-academy award nominated actress (you’ve won a couple too 😉). You grew up watching Saturday Night Live with your parents and SNL was a goal you’d always wanted to achieve in your career which brings us to the present day. You’ve been booked to host SNL and you couldn’t be more excited!

"Matt can I call you back, I'm gonna go scream, cry, hyperventilate, and probably run a lap around the block" You tell your manager Matt, he's become more of your best friend in the time you've known him so he's pretty used to your dramatics.

"Yea, I'll get more details and discuss some contract related things with them and I'll swing by yours in a couple hours." He finishes hanging up the call.

You let out a squeal as you skip around your house. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you don't think you were this happy when you got nominated for your academy awards.

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

As the days grow into weeks, Halloween is beginning to approach rapidly and you're on your way to meet with team at SNL to discuss of details that need to be prepared ahead of time for your episode.

your episode...

Yup! your episode in the 50th season of SNL. Things are moving quickly. It's already been almost a month since you got the call notifying you of your casting and you haven't been able to think of anything else. You're so excited to hear the pitches from the cast about the skits they want to do. Being able to work in this environment is like a dream come true.

One of the things you're nervous about is the topic of the meeting today. They want you to have a musical artist picked out so you will need to be providing a list of people that they can reach out to to ensure they get the artist booked before everyone has their schedules set for the holidays.

You arrive to the meeting greeting everyone in the room as you listen intently to what's being said. As time goes on you just get more and more excited about the process.

"... and finally the last thing we need to get ironed out today is who you'd like to have for your musical guest. As you know this episode will be airing December 14th so we'll need to be mindful of holiday plans and schedules so we really should get on this soon. For right now we'll get the name of the top artist you'd like to have and we'll have your management send over the rest of the list via email so we can get an artist booked as soon as possible."

You nod as you listen intently.

"So who is your top artist at the moment" He looks at you expectantly

"I'd like to have Mark Lee be my music guest. He's a singer and wrapper with a sizable following and I think he'd be a great fit." You try to come off confident but you know he has the power to just flat out say no if he wants

"Hmmm... I'll have to look into him before we make any calls but... we'll keep you updated." You nod in response.

You leave the building with a pep in your step and a smile on your face as you anticipate the coming months of preparation

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

"Hey Matt, what's up" You ask as you pick up the phone. It's a Saturday in November so you were relaxing at home as you watch the people wrapped in their winter coats facing the cold of the coming New York winter.

"I have an update from SNL. I thought you'd like to hear this one."

"Oooh what is it?" He's piqued your interest

"They've confirmed your musical guest for your episode of SNL and the guest was from the list we gave them"

"OH MY GOD really?!?!!?! Is It Mark? Matt please tell me it's Mark." You didn't want to get your hopes up but clearly your attempts were futile for how much you were anticipating his answer.

"Stay calm Y/N... but yes... Mark's management just agreed to have him be your musical guest"

"...Matt...I'm going to mute myself real quick..." You quickly get out before muting yourself and screaming bloody murder into your pillow. THE Mark Lee... agreed to be YOUR musical guest... on YOUR episode of SNL...? Life just took a whole new turn of unreal. You've been a fan of Mark for a while now and him agreeing to join you is insane.

You clear your throat as you pick your phone back up again "...hey Matt... soo... Mark Lee... he said yes?"

"Yup he'll be in town for the jingle ball event that's happening the day before so they agreed to extend his stay for a couple of extra days"

"Great! I can't wait!"

"The SNL producers would like to hold another meeting soon to discuss the logistics with his team and with you so start preparing yourself mentally. I know you like him but don't try to jump his bones through the screen."

"Heyyyy, I would never..." You try to defend yourself.

"Yea yea... I'll talk to you soon"

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

"Y/N it's good to see you again, I hope your preparations have been going well." One of the producers greets you as you enter the room

"They have! I'm excited to be back with you all again"

"Y/N this is Mark Lee and his manager, they're joining us through zoom from their company in South Korea. Today's objective is to talk over what our expectations are for Mark as the musical guest as well as clear up any questions. Shall we get started?"

You nod trying to focus on the task at hand and less of the fact that the man you've had a minor celebrity crush on for years isn't perceiving you over zoom at the moment.

"After we received your offer I put some thought into the songs I'd like to perform that day. I think this is a unique opportunity and I think the songs chosen will be perfect for the SNL stage" Mark begins

"We figured it'd be nice to start with a slower track with a nice intimate mood 200 - Minhyung's Version as it's a more unplugged acoustic vibe. For the second song we'd like to have Mark perform a single that is yet to be announced but will be releasing December 16th. It's called Fraktsiya. It's a hip hop song with a heavy 808 base and we think it would be a big draw for him and for the show to have it be the first time anyone hears it officially." Marks manager explains.

You can't help but perk up at the mention of a new song.

So does that mean I'd get to hear it for the first time in rehearsals? Before anyone else does..?

Not the time Y/N you mentally scold yourself for letting your thoughts wander during an important meeting. You shake away your thoughts and pay attention for the rest of the meeting.

"This was a very informative session, we'd like to thank you all so much for the opportunity to have Mark perform on such an iconic show" You hear his manager say as the meeting wraps up.

"It'll be our pleasure to have you here in December. We'll be in touch" The producer says before the call is cut and you're all dismissed

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

December 14th, 2024, show day

Here you are, sat in your dressing room, running over your lines preparing for the final rehearsal before tonights live show. Due to his schedule at Jingle Ball yesterday night, Mark wasn't able to the join the rehearsal meaning you'll be seeing him for the first time today when you run through the show.

"Y/N it's time to head out" Matt gets your attention as you quickly get up and head towards him so the two of you can head to set

"Let's go" You say with a smile

"Keep your hormones in check when we get out there"

You slap his shoulder in response "Hey I am a very calm and composed thank you very much. It's not that big of a deal"

"Your tumblr history says otherwise" You freeze while looking at hime with your mouth agape

"MATT GET BACK HERE" You run to catch up to him

As the two of you arrive to set you're done smacking him for seeing your tumblr history and you’ve been able to mostly calm the bright blush that had appeared as you slowly approach the producer.

“Good morning Y/N are you ready to get started?” He asks as you and Matt reach him

“Yup! Let’s get started!”

You begin your final rehearsal with the opening monologue which goes without a hitch and finally the moment you’re waiting for, Mark is going to rehearse his songs

He comes out onto stage looking very casual as he introduces himself and checks his mic. You decide it’s for the best if you stand to the back to watch because you knew yourself. You wouldn’t be able to not ogle him so you may as well do it from the sides instead of in front of everyone…

God he’s so cool

As he rehearses 200, you can’t stop staring. He’s on a stool with a spotlight on him and the guitarist playing next to him and his voice is so melodic and calming. You’re blatantly staring at this point but you don’t care, he’s so charismatic and his aura is mesmerizing, you can’t help but watch intently.

“Thank you…” he says into the mic with a short bow as he finishes with everyone clapping for him. The producers chat with him and the band before they change the set for Weekend Update. You aren’t needed for this segments rehearsal so you head back to get some snacks from your dressing room. You arrive closing the door behind you taking a breathe pulling out your phone as you scroll for about 15 minutes before you get a text from Matt.

You power your phone off and you leave the dressing room. As you close the door and start walking down the hallway you’re met with a something hard that sends you stumbling back

“Oh watch out!”

You grab onto the wall next to you as you feel a gloved hand grab your arms to help stabilize you.

“You okay…?” You look up to see who you ran into and of course… it’s Mark

“Oh! Y-yea… I’m fine sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going” you mentally slap yourself for stuttering

“No it’s okay, I wasn’t looking either” he sheepishly scratches the back of his neck

You take in his appearance and you see he’s wearing the same outfit as earlier but his hoodie has been replaced with a long leather jacket

“Are you also heading to set?” You calm your inner fan girl and ask

“Yea I am, shall we?” He asks knowing that you’re heading that way too.

You nod as you walk next to him. The two of you having casual conversation. He told you about Jingle Ball yesterday and you told him about the cat you feed sometimes on your block that also happens to be named Mark (you didnt name him, you swear his collar said Mark when you found him)

“Dude there’s no way…”

“I swear. He’s got this old collar on him and I swear it says Mark. I’ll have to show you a picture.” You laugh at his disbelief

The two of you finally arrive to set and go your separate ways so he can get onstage as you find Matt giving you a knowing look.

In response you slap him before turning turn attention towards the stage.

An unfamiliar heat starts playing through the speakers as Mark comes out looking the same as he did when you saw him only now he’s sporting some expensive looking shades and he’s got this intimidating aura around him. He’s not the playful Mark you met in the hallway.

Your mouth fall agape as you watch him rap his new song exuding nothing but utter confidence

Yeah, how many schedules in a day? (Baby, listen)

He’s pulled his glasses down as he tilts his head down looking at the camera above the glasses so he can make eye contact

My airline miles fling honeymoon out of space (I said listen)

He turns his head look towards you as you says the line before redirecting his eyes ahead before adjusting his glass back to cover his eyes properly again

SM got to wait (SM, listen)

Phone is buzzing, uh, SNL shoot with Y/N

I said, wait

You’re frozen in your place as he says your name… did he adjust the lyrics? You know he did but it still made your heart race a little too hard. The fact that the entire song is him bragging about his accomplishments and you have a spot in the lyrics, even if it’s just an adlib for the live show. You have to calm yourself down at the thought

You continue to watch him finish his rehearsal with wide eyes. When he finished the song you clap along with the rest of the crew before continuing on with the rehearsal. You had a couple skits along with Mark who they included in one. He did really well despite the lack of rehearsal time and by the time you all finished you were feeling ready for the live show that night.

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

You were sat in your dressing room after getting styled for the top of the show. You’ve got some down time so Matt left you to go probably flirt with one of the cast members he found cute (but wouldn’t admit it) so you’re relaxing in your chair trying to shake the nerves. Your mom flew to New York to watch live tonight so you really wanted to do well for her.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on your door

“Come in” you say as you turn around to see who knocked and to your surprise… your met with the face of Mark Lee

“Oh Mark? I didn’t expect you to come by…” you say with a smile

“Yea… I had some downtime so I figured I’d stop by” he says walking in scratching the back of his neck awkwardly again.

“You look nervous” you laugh lightly

“Nahhhh… well… maybe just a bit” he says “but I think I’ll do fine. I think I’m more worried about how people will perceive the new song rather than whether I’ll do well”

“Hmmm” you hum in understanding “well I do owe you a picture of little Mark” you say pulling out your phone “oh! Feel free to sit down” you usher him over to the couch as you sit next to him

“Look” you show him a picture of a little orange cat that’s a bit chubby

“Awww dude he’s so cute”

“I know right” you pull back the phone and zoom in on the collar “look what I told you… he’s named Mark”

“That’s a crazy coincidence man… I have to meet this Mark sometime.” He laughs out

“Ooooh I don’t know about that. Two Marks within close proximity… the world might implode” you fake a shiver as you lean back on the couch

“Maybe your right” he chuckles at you before also leaning back on the couch

“Now how did you meet this Mark? He’s not a stray is he?”

“No… although that’s what I thought at first but I called the number on his collar and he has a home. He’s just an outdoor cat. He only comes home for food” You say thinking of the cat you’ve begun to love “If he was a stray I would’ve adopted him”

“Yea… maybe I should get a cat and name him Mark”

you chuckled at his response. “Mark and Mark. Sounds like a comic book”

“You know some people think I’m like Spider-Man… a superhero has gotta have a sidekick” He laughs looking at you

“Should I call you spider-mark then? You’ve got your guy in the chair and everything it seems.” You chuckle out

“Just you wait someday I’ll be in the spider-verse movies”

“I’ll look forward to it” you smile “you are missing one thing though”

“What is it?” He raises an eyebrow as he sits up and looks back at you

“Well you need an MJ of course” you say sarcastically as you look at him

He quirks an eyebrow at your statement “oh yea…” he pretends to think “I think I’ve got an MJ though too” he says as he looks at you “so I’m all set by your logic”

Your eyes widen slightly at his statement “oh yea. I guess so” you cast your eyes down for a second and when you look back up Mark is much closer to you

“You look disappointed” he says inching forward

“Why would I be…” you don’t move towards him but… you also don’t move away.

He smirks a little “I don’t know…” he brings up his hand a gently brushed your hair behind your ears as his face is just inches from yours

“I-“ you can respond before you hear Matt knocking on your door

“Y/N it’s time to get backstage” you and Mark immediately break from one another before you stand up and clear your throat

“Ok… I’ll be out in a second” you walk to your vanity grabbing your water and drinking some before turning back to Mark

“I should go…” you say to Mark, who has now risen from his spot on the couch and has begun to approach you

“Yea… you should…”

You look up and meet his gaze before beginning to walk towards the door. You don’t get very far before you feel a hand grab your wrist.

You don’t even have a moment to say anything before you feel a soft peck on your cheek

“Good luck…” he says softly

“Th-thanks…” you stutter out as your cheeks glow bright red.

You hurry out of the room and rush backstage to get ready for the start of the show

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

The first half of the show goes by in a blur. All the sketches have been going really well and there has yet to be a problem. Now you're at the part you're most excited about Mark's stage

"Now introducing... Mark Lee" The audience claps as everyone becomes focused on him. He's dressed in black pants with a white button up unbuttoned with a tank top underneath. You listen as he sings 200, completely enamoured by him from your place behind the camera. You've realized you're beginning to fall for this man in the short time you've been able to really meet him and part of you wants to think he feels the same with the way (you think) his eyes shift to you behind the camera every so often. But you refuse to get your hopes up and get your heart broken.

He finishes up the song before heading back to get prepared for the next song as they bring out the Weekend Update set as usual.

You laugh as Colin and Micheal share their usual good jokes along with their bickering enjoying seeing the iconic pair in their element with your real eyes. Before you know it you're introducing Mark for his second song.

You take your place behind the camera once again as you take in his new appearance. His shirt now neatly buttoned with a tie around his neck. His thick sunglasses and his black leather clothes with his hair slicked back topping the look off made your jaw drop. He looked HOT

You watch the audience excited for their reactions to his new song and you could tell everyone loved it. You were so into the atmosphere that you almost forgot to pay attention to the stage and before you knew it, everyone was clapping and cheering for him.

✈︎✈︎✈︎✈︎

The show ends successfully as you say your goodbyes to everyone onstage before heading back to your dressing room to change into your regular clothes. As you've finished changing, you're collecting your things when you hear a knock on the door. You don't even get the chance to say come in before you see it open and Mark steps into the room.

"Sorry... I-" he sighs clearly a little unprepared

"You okay Mark?" You begin to step closer to him

"Yea yea.. I just thought you had left... someone said they saw your manager leave so I wanted to come check" He says a bit nervously

"Well I'm still here... so what do you need?' You look up at him but he's clearly avoiding your eyes.

"Well, I have to go back to Korea tomorrow... but I was wondering if... I could get your number." He says as he raises his gaze to meet yours

You softly smile at his request before you nod "give me your phone"

The two of you exchange numbers before you fall into some lighthearted conversation again. He's so easy to talk to. He laughs at your jokes and he matches your energy perfectly. He's just easy to be around.

You grab the rest of your belongings while you chat and once you're ready to go he walks you out to your car.

"This is it huh...?" He asks you hesitantly

"Well it cant be. You haven't met little Mark yet" You smile back at him. "Now you have a reason to come back to New York"

"Make that two..." He says softly

"Huh? What's the second-" You barely finish your sentence before you feel his soft lips on yours. After a moment of hesitation, you wrap your arms around his neck as his go to your waist as you reciprocate the kiss. It felt sweet, soft, careful, like he's testing the waters, but almost desparate, as he knows it'll be a while before you see each other again.

The two of you pull away "I'll see you soon... spidey..." you say softly with a smile on your face. You quickly peck his cheek before running into your car. You don't look at him out of shyness as you drive off with a bright smile on your face and 200 - Minhyung's Version blasting through the speakers of your car.

This took me way too long to write to I hope you all enjoyed this. Also yes I made up the SNL skit but it was FOR THE PLOT I’m not too proud of that part

[niningtori]

an iron man | preview I

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: beomgyu has only ever known how to live function as a rental sexbot. he fucks whoever and whatever comes his way with a forced smile plastered on his face. that is, until you, a self-proclaimed trainwreck, come along.

genre: angst, romance, smut in full fic (mdni), android!au, sub!gyu probably

notes: the moral of the story is... do not trust a fucking thing i say when i'm in a depressive episode bc why'd i just say i wasn't gonna post anything for a while and now i'm so excited ab this i can't wait to drop it? let's give it up for bipolar disorder everyone!!

-

beomgyu doesn’t know how long he’s been living like this. living is an odd term, too, and it’s not just because “life” is ill-defined for an android, but because to call what he experiences a life feels like a bastardization of the term. his power is turned on at some point, usually late at night, he fucks or gets fucked by somebody he probably doesn’t know, then he does the same shit all over again. so yes, he may be “alive”, but he wouldn't dare to call what he experiences living. living is too precious of a term to be used so cheaply on a sex android who’s made available for rent for the highest bidder of the night.

he’s seen how people live through his scattered vignettes of human life. he only gets them when he’s powered on, but he soaks them up with pleasure because they’re the only thing he’s ever known. some people do it wildly, living unattached to everyone and everything. their lives are not completely dissimilar to his, in a way, except they have a choice in the matter. they have time to find themselves, what their likes and dislikes are, and they get to connect with people in a way he will never have the power to. others, though, live the kind of life he really wants. they live by loving and being loved, knowing and being known. he wonders what it’d be like to know somebody outside of whatever secret deviant sexual pleasures they have. he wonders what it’s like to be known, too, but he guesses you would need to have something for someone to care enough to know about in the first place. he has no such thing.

it’s a night like any other when he’s powered on by a total stranger. he briefly takes in his surroundings and notices that it’s a really nice place, but you wouldn’t be the first rich person to rent him — not by a longshot. next, he takes you in. now, there’s no reason for you to dress up, really. you have no need to tempt him, as he will be able to feign attraction no matter what you look like, but he still finds it odd that you seem to have forgone any effort to appeal to him, if only because most people’s fantasies require them to look and feel sexy; but you don’t look sexy at all. you look like you’ve just gotten home from a long day at work, and honestly? you kind of smell like it, too.

“do you think you could do the dishes for me? i’m exhausted,” you ask with a perfectly-timed yawn. what...?

-

if you would like to join the taglist for this work, please let me know! if you would like to join any of my other taglists, please join here!

[entitled-fangirl]

Chance. (P3)

Aemond Targaryen x reader; Aegon x Wife!reader

Summary: the people grow restless with no king. The reader is determined to find out Aemond's motives.

A/n: A short little chapter to get us to Sunday when the next episode releases!

Part 1, 2, 4

Masterlist

...........................................................

"Ser Hightower!" Y/n called out as she walked down the stairs to the courtyard. 

Gwayne looked away from Alicent, immediately moving his attention to her, "My queen. How may I be of assistance?"

"I wondered if, time permitting, we may speak?"

Alicent tilted her head, eyeing the girl closely. 

Gwayne nodded. "Even if time does not permit, I shan't leave the queen wanting. I am yours."

Alicent noted the smile that grazed her brother's face. She huffed and walked off, not bothering with a goodbye. 

Y/n sighed, "You were at the battle, fighting valiantly, I assume."

He nodded and spoke with his usual soft voice, "Indeed, I was."

"What happened?"

His head tilted and a curious look came to his eye, "I'm lost, I'm afraid.  Ask me plainly, my queen. I don't keep secrets, you know."

She looked over to Alicent and Cole speaking across the courtyard before looking back to the male Hightower. "Who truly harmed Aegon?"

His brows furrowed and he looked away for a moment, "I didn't get a look at it. I was too concerned with the fighting on the ground."

She sighed and nodded, "I had figured you would have been."

"You suspect foul play?"

She shrugged, "It's all foul play, ser."

He let out a soft chuckle, "You're right in that." He shifted his body weight in thought, "I know you're not looking for allies-"

"-I am, actually."

His brows furrowed again. "Ah. Well, I am not much, but I will be your eyes in the bannermen if you wish."

She smiled, "I'd like that very much, ser. I thank you, as does the crown."

"Your thanks is enough."

…

"You're really to go?" She asked with a frown. 

Aemond smirked, "I am needed to win this battle. Vhagar listens to no one else."

She sighed, "Aegon is furious with you, you know."

He shrugged, "So be it. I care not what he thinks anymore."

"That's your king, Aemond. Be careful with who you speak such things to."

"I am," he stated. "I'm speaking it to you, am I not?"

Her cheeks flushed, "Just don't get injured. Please. I wouldn't be able to sleep well at night if you did."

He grinned, "Promise."

…

"My queen, we must leave now!"

Her head shot up, "What? What's happened?"

…

"They mock me!" He growled.

"My love, they do not."

Aegon scoffed, "My brother and my hand makes plans without me. They do not ask me of anything."

"They mean it in good favor-"

"-What is good favor if it is not from your king!?"

She rubbed her forehead softly, "Perhaps let this one go, and reconvene when the battle is won."

"You've have me just let this go?"

"Drink some wine. Take a bath. Go see a whore. I dunno, Aegon."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, "I'm a lousy king, aren't I?"

"You're doing just fine."

"Why doesn't it feel like it then?"

She paused, unsure of what to say. 

Alicent walked in, and Y/n stood. She kissed Aegon's forehead, "Give it thought, my love. You're as fearsome as any of them."

She moved past Alicent with a glare.

…

"GET THE WOMEN TO THE WHEELHOUSE!"

Alicent grabbed Helaena's hand, helping drag her down the stairs. 

Y/n joined them not long after, leaving from a different door.

Surrounded by guards, the three were dragged through the rioting crowd, occasionally grabbed by the people.

"Tis the queen of fishes!"

Something was thrown, smacking Alicent in the face. She gasped, but was ushered further on.

Alicent's iron grip made her not lose Helaena, but Y/n was quickly lost. 

She disappeared in the crowd, pushed left and right in panic. 

She felt someone grab her chin and pull her forward. "You'll sleep with anyone with a crown, won't you, pretty girl?" The voice sneered. 

She whined out, closing her eyes as if it would will it away. 

Hands moved everywhere, one tugging at her dress, tearing it from her shoulder with a loud rip. 

Hot tears ran down her face, not stopping even when a guard found her again and pushed the others away. He paused for just a moment to access her, "My queen!"

Only then did she see the guard's wide eyes and a white hot pain moved to her cheek. 

She reached up, her fingers coming back with bright red blood. 

Black clouded her vision. 

..................................................

part 4

taglist: @p45510n4f4shi0n, @darktrashsoulbear, @vieenr0se, @pez-unicorn, @marlenees-world, @thatbabydeer

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + sixteen

authors note: healing is not linear. regression, sadly, is a part of the process. and ultimately, if someone wants to hurt themselves, they will find a way to do so.

*this chapter contains extremely triggering content. please ensure to read all content/trigger warnings to make an informed decision regarding your mental state and ability to consume the following work of fiction. your mental wellbeing is forever and always more important than any story.*

cw/tw: heavy angst, violence, torture, ptsd episode, victim blaming, reference to childhood sexual assault, thoughts and urges of self-harm, suicide attempt

gentle reminder that you can call or text the free, confidential 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 anytime, 24/7.

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 8k

“I–I just want to see him. Please—”

It’s got to be the third or even fourth time she’s tried to ask, pleading with her husband’s Wise Man to let her see her husband.

It was hard enough to get Solo to agree to take her to where Roman is, a medical clinic that’s clearly only open to tend to him and any other Bloodline member injured in the shootout. That’s evident by the lack of anyone present outside of an impressive number of Bloodline security. 

An uninjured Bayley and Naomi met her at the house shortly after she arrived with Solo, and while she was pleased to see they were okay, to hear that Jimmy and Jey also made it out uninjured, the man she cares about the most is ironically the man she seems incapable of checking on.

She can’t find a way to settle her anxiety, continuing to play the scene of him shot, outside of her head. 

That’s why she needs to see him. 

She has to see him.

Paul sighs, and there’s irritation evident both in his tone and facial expression. “Solana, I don’t think—hey!”

Fuck it.

He’s silenced by Solana rushing past him, nearly knocking him over in the process. Eyes wide with shock, he stammers, looking just as bewildered as the security guards around him. “Well, don’t just stand there, stop her!”

The men rush to run after her, Solana well aware of the fact that the likelihood of her outrunning them is slim to none. 

Doesn't mean she can’t try. 

It’s a silly thought though because of course security would be up and down every hall of the clinic, sets of hardened eyes falling on her, ready to attack when they realize who she is. It changes the dynamic a bit. Expressions still stoic and lethal but also confused.

Solana freezes only for a bit as she forces out her request, a poorly delivered demand, really to the guards that line the hall that she suspects house the room Roman is being treated in. 

“I need to see my husband.” No one says anything, two of them sharing an expression as Solana decides to try her luck again, knowing that they wouldn’t actually shoot her, trying to sprint past them.

She’s unlucky this time though because one of the guards catches her, restraining her. This makes her tense up almost immediately, fear rising up yet again for the thousandth time tonight. 

“Let go of me!” Solana tries to wiggle her way out of the iron grasp, eager and almost needing to get these strange male hands off of her, such a stark contrast to the comfort and safety she feels when it’s Roman who has his hands on her. “I need to see Roman! Please!” 

The man holding her and probably pulling her away from the direction of Roman’s room says nothing, just continues to ignore her demands to be released.

“Man, what the hell you doing!”

Solana’s head snaps to the side as she lays eyes on an enraged Jimmy who stalks over, his mere presence and tone causing the man to release her. Solana gasps a bit as Jimmy grabs the man by his collar and slams him against the wall. “Don’t you ever put your fucking hands on her again! You lucky it’s me here and not Roman cause he’d already have a bullet in your head for touching his wife!”

Jimmy looks around, shouting, “that goes to all of ya’ll asses!” He points to Solana. “She asks for Roman, you take her to fucking Roman, alright?”

Bowed heads of shame and a sudden focus on the laminate flooring of the clinic, Solana is relieved when Jimmy walks over, voice calmer, motioning her to follow him. “Come on, Soso.”

Solana wants to ask Jimmy if he’s okay, inquire about Jey, make sure that they’re okay. Bayley and Naomi already told her as such, but they don’t know that. It’s just what’s most polite and appropriate, but all she can think about is Roman and laying eyes on him.

She needs to see him.

And as awful as it may sound, she cares more about making sure her husband is okay before anyone else.

Caught up in her thoughts, she misses when Jimmy knocks on a door in a rhythmic pattern, followed by Jey cracking the door open.

Jimmy sucks his teeth. “Man, open the door. It’s Soso.”

Solana, however, has no desire to wait any longer and finds herself, pushing on the door, forcing Jey to stumble back. “Damn, girl!”

She’s not listening though, uninterested in apologizing because she’s focused on something else. 

Focused on someone else. 

An older man with blonde hair pulled back, dressed way too casually to be a medical professional seems to be finishing up bandaging her husband who stands only feet away, shirtless, revealing the shoulder tourniquet that conceals the wound. The place where he was hurt.

Where he was shot.

Emotion renews, and a new set of tears reload as she finds herself moving over to him, pressing her body into his, doing her best to avoid touching his left shoulder. Her eyes shut, tears spilling over when she feels Roman’s hand on the small of her back.

“Get out.” It’s directed to the twins and who Solana would guess is the doctor who treated his wound, that last thing being what causes her to pull away, to look over at the stranger.

“No. You—you have to help him—”

The man chuckles and removes the blue latex gloves from his hands. “Lil lady, that’s a job only the big Man Himself can handle.” She frowns a bit as the man with striking blue eyes and an almost country accent explains, “He’ll be fine. Bullet went straight through. Didn't hit any bones, artery, or organs. If he takes it easy for a couple weeks, he'll be good as new. That’s assuming, however, he actually follows the doctor’s orders for once.”

It’s that last sentence that makes Solana wonder if this is the same doctor who diagnosed Roman with high blood pressure and medicated him for it. It makes sense. 

But, it’s when they’re alone that the waterworks seem to really come out, Solana unable to hold it in any longer. “I’m sorry—this—this is all my fault.” She cries, Roman gently cradling her face as she shakes her head. “You–you got hurt because of m-me-.”

Roman looks thoroughly confused, asking, “what are you talking about?”

There’s such a heaviness in her stomach and on her chest. She doesn’t want to do this. God, she really doesn’t want to. But, it’s her not doing this in the first place that landed them where they are. 

“Roman…..” She closes her eyes. This is so much harder than she thought it would be, and she never thought it would be easy per se, but she also didn’t think it would be this damn painful. “My—my father. He…he wanted our marriage to happen so—so that I—” It’s like knives splitting and slicing the back of her throat as she forces out, “he wanted me to kill you.”

If Roman has a strong or visceral reaction to her dark confession, he doesn’t show it. His expression remains unreadable, maybe a bit of concern, but that was present the minute he laid eyes on her. 

“And he said that if I didn’t do it, then he–he would kill me, and that’s w–why you got hurt tonight, because—because of me, because I didn’t say anything.” A fresh set of tears generate as she desperately tries to help him and make him believe her as she explains, “but, I—I was never going to—I could never—I’d rather die than do anything to h–hurt you.”

And it’s the truth. 

She would have rather him let the bullet hit her than him. 

It’s not fair he had to pay for her actions. Or lack, in this case. 

“Solana.” He cuts her off, gentle, voice much calmer than she anticipated in response to such a confession. “I already knew.”

And just like that, she’s back to not breathing again, rendered nearly incapable of speech as she stammers out a response, “w–what?”

Roman sighs deeply, thumb caressing the apple of her cheek. “I always knew your father was up to something. I’m far from stupid. He was too eager and pushy to make the marriage happen. It was obvious he had ulterior motives.” His eyes squint a bit, as he asks her, “why you think one of the first things I did when we got married was cut off contact between the two of you, huh? Whatever he was planning, I wasn’t gonna let him use you to do it.”

Roman’s words together make a logical, sensical sentence, but it’s the processing of it that she struggles with. Roman knew. He knew all along that her father was planning something. 

And yet he said nothing.

He has no reaction. 

He continues, admitting, “I didn’t know specifically what he had planned, but it doesn’t really make a difference. Murder. Coup d'etat. He wasn't the first, and he won’t be the last.” It’s the casual way he says it that Solana feels so conflicted about, so stunned how he can be so calm about constant threats against his life, against his empire. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been shot, and it probably won’t be the last time.”

“Don’t say that.” She whispers. The trauma and shock of seeing him shot was bad enough, and seeing he appears okay is relieving, but the thought of it happening again feels almost unbearable.

“Solana, you know what I am and what I do. But, it’s like I told you before, I have a tendency to not die, which pisses people off.” His delivery towards the end manages to make her smile. It’s small and sad, but a smile nonetheless. “There it is….” His thumb brushes away some of her tears. “Don’t cry, baby. You know I don’t like seeing you upset.”

She noticed. The same way she doesn’t like to see him hurt. For him to be anything other than okay. 

Roman’s eyes shift into something softer as he asks, “why didn’t you tell me?” It’s a question born from curiosity versus the accusatory nature she would expect from someone who was just told their wife was sent to kill them. 

It’s a bit of a difficult one to answer too. “I was—I was scared. At the beginning of our marriage, I—I was scared what you would do to me if—if I told you.” 

There’s an almost pained look that flashes across his face as he vows, “Solana, you know I would never—”

“I know. I know that now.” She stresses, gently cutting him off. There’s not a doubt in her mind that Roman would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. “But, I—I didn’t then. And….I think I just—I didn’t want to think about it, because things were going good and—and I hadn’t seen him in so long, but I was wrong—and I should have said something sooner—”

“It doesn’t matter.” He’s the one to cut her off this time, shaking his head. “But Solana, your father has crossed a line this time. He tried to kill you.” Roman’s eyes are blazing with with the flame of anger and fury, a desire for vengeance clearly dancing at the forefront of his mind. “I know I told you I wouldn’t kill him until you told me—”

“I don’t care,” she affirms, voice darkening into something also angry. “He—he tried to take you from me. I don’t—I don’t care what happens to him anymore. Him or Wes.” 

Because while she doesn’t know the status of her brother and his recovery, Wes was just as involved with the evil plan, so what went down tonight had to have some influence from him in one way or another. It makes him just as guilty. 

Roman nods and kisses her temple. He then calls out, “Jey.” It’s loud enough for his cousin to hear, opening the door and asking, “what’s up?”

Roman doesn’t hesitate. “Get me Miller. Just Xavier.” Solana must look curious as he explains, “your brother isn’t well enough yet. I want him back to health, so I can prolong his torture.” It paints a picture of a brutal, gruesome ending, but she can’t find it in her to be repulsed. Whatever hope she had for her brother is clearly long gone, if it was ever there.

“You got it.” Jey nods and closes the door as Solana places her hand on Roman’s forearm, drawing his attention down to her. 

“I—I want to talk to him before—-” She swallows, asking, “please?”

Roman nods. “Of course.” She’s thankful for his agreement but not entirely surprised. He breaks away from her, countenance shifts into something stoic and determined. 

“This ends tonight.” 

________

Solana’s introduction to the place where her husband has probably taken and ended more lives than she’d like to admit is definitely a one and done thing. The atmosphere alone is so dark and depressing that if not for her hand in his and him walking closely alongside her, she might even find herself a bit scared.

But his presence along with her determination to get in her final words to her father manage to carry her over. 

She’s also both surprised and relieved when she sees Bayley and Naomi also present. She’s unable to ask them about their presence because Roman is already explaining, “I know you don’t want to be home alone tonight, and I’m not making it back anytime soon.”

She nods, not needing to know why. The edge in his voice is all the telling she needs.

Solana’s stomach drops a bit when she’s taken to her father, strapped to a chair, hands and wrists tied. His face is bruised up, cut, and bleeding. Her eyes must give away her curiosity, Jimmy answering, “he fell.” 

Jey suddenly punches him in the side of his head. “Ain’t that what you said when you and your boy was beating on your own fucking daughter?”

Solana swallows. Yes. That’s often what he said to cover up the result of their abuse.

Solana drops her hand and steps a bit closer to him, Roman not once moving or ripping his eyes away from them. It’s virtually impossible for Xavier to do anything to her, but she understands her husband is not willing to take any risks, regardless. 

She ignores the weapons and items around her, no doubt intended for unspeakable acts of violence and torture. She just focuses on the man before her, taking in the fact that this is the last time she’ll ever stare into his dark eyes and have to look at his evil face. 

“All—all I ever wanted….was for you to love me.” She hates the emotion that chunks up the back of her throat, making it a bit harder for her to speak. “But you never did, and you never will, and—and that’s okay.” She recalls one of the many powerful, profound quotes from her book, reciting it boldly and confidently. “Your inability to love me is not a reflection on my ability to be loved.” She’d like to say she witnesses some type of emotional reaction in her father at her powerful statement, but there’s nothing there.

There never was. 

Stepping back, she takes one final look at him, accepting this is the end of this road. The end of all the hurt and pain he’s ever caused her. After tonight, it’s all over. “Goodbye, Dad.” 

Solana is back by Roman, taking her hand in his as Xavier’s small, dark laughter draws her attention back to him. 

“Didn’t you ever wonder how they bypassed the security system? Both times?”

Solana’s brows are furrowed, confusion dancing in her eyes. Before she can say anything, Roman barks a rough order to the twins, “gag him!” 

One glance at him, and she sees something unfamiliar, something that looks strangely close to nervousness. 

To fear. 

“No,” she finds herself calling out, stopping Jey who was halfway close to doing just that, bandana in his right hand. “What—what are you talking about?”

“Solana, he’s just trying to fuck with your head.” She hears Roman, feels his slight tug on her sleeve as he tries to pull her away, but she also detects something else.

Avoidance. 

Roman is intentionally trying to divert her away from this conversation, topic, whatever it is.

Xavier chuckles cruelly, coughing up a bit of blood. “I warned that bitch. I told her what would happen if she tried to take Wesley away from me.” 

Now…now he has Solana’s full attention. 

She steps toward him, asking again, “what are you t–talking about?”

“Solana, please—”

But, she continues to ignore Roman and instead focuses on whatever it is her father is about to drop on her, something she feels is about to change everything. 

Xavier’s bloody smile is cruel and taunting as he reveals, “I was the one who ordered the hit on your mother.” And before she can even sit on that, another bomb is dropped. “And you.”

Solana staggers back, jerking away from Roman as he reaches to touch her. Her mouth is dropped, her heartbeat erratic. She all of a sudden feels dizzy, but it doesn’t stop her from asking again, “what—what did you just say?”

“Shut him up, Jey!”

“No!” Solana shouts both at her husband and his cousin. “I want to know!”

“Your mother was planning to take you and Wesley away from me, and truth be told, if she left Wesley and just took you, I probably wouldn’t have given a fuck. But no, she wanted both of her children. She was a problem, so I got rid of her.” Each word that leaves his mouth has Solana wanting to sink further and further into the ground. “The hit was for both of you, but of course, you fucking survived.” The venom in his voice and hatred in his eyes is almost palpable, further deepening the pain of this betrayal. “I refused to pay them the full amount since they botched the job and didn’t kill you, but that still left the balance for your mother….the balance you paid for me.” And with the most vile smile of all, he adds on coarsely, “who’d have thought a kid’s virginity would sell so high?”

And it’s that statement. That cruel, vindictive statement that breaks her.

Hand to her stomach, Solana almost collapses to the floor but Roman is behind her, catching her fall. 

Now that she can focus on him, on anything other than the millions thoughts racing through her mind. Random facts and statements finally coming together, painting a horrific, grim picture.

The failure of the security system both times.

The failed pin entry of her mom’s shaking hands and two years later, Solana’s shaking hand, as they desperately tried to enter the panic room, only for it to flash a red rejection notice.

It was him the whole time.

He killed her mother. He was the one responsible for her rape.

All of it. 

Emotions erupt to the surface as Solana tries to break from Roman’s embrace and lunge for her father.

“I hate you!” She screams, unable to think and see beyond her pain. “I fucking hate you!” She can’t stop trying to break Roman’s solid grip on her. She wants to hit him. Wants to stab him. Burn him. Anything and everything that can make him feel just a fraction of her agony. “How could you do that to me!” She cries, wanting, needing an answer. Needing to know why. “I was a child!” She’s never felt something so heavy, so painful. “I was your child!” 

As her physical resolve breaks, more diminishes than anything, Solana feels Roman trying to guide her away.

But it’s a mistake, it’s a mistake because she uses that slice of an opening to break away from him and snatch one of the guns on a table, pointing it at her father’s head. But then, she’s not. She’s not because Roman is suddenly standing between her and her target.

Her resolve falters for a bit, as she shouts at him, “move!”

Jimmy’s furious voice calls out. “Man, let her do it, Roman!”

Roman’s gaze is fiery as he silences his cousin with a shout. “Shut up!” But just as quickly as he was enraged, his expression softens almost inhumanly quickly as he pleads, “Solana, listen to me—”

She’s not trying to hear it though. She can’t hear it. “He killed my mother! My mother!”

“I know,” his expression softens into something solemn and sympathetic. “But you don’t want to do this—“

She snaps, her fingers on the gun tightening, her grip firm and focused. “He needs to die!”

“And he will, I promise you that. Slowly. Gradually. In the agonizing way that he deserves, but that can only happen if you let me do this for you—”

Solana cries, shoulders dropping but her aim still intact. “He let them rape me.” Her body trembles, a combination of her heartache and inconsolable rage. “He took her from me! She was my mother!”

If not for the severity and all around heightened tensions, Solana would notice the heartbreaking and furious expressions of the twins, Bayely, and Naomi who now know the exact horror she has experienced. The reason for her disposition. The source of her trauma.

Roman, however, remains focused on de-escalating the situation. “I know, baby, but you’re not a killer, Solana, and I’m not about to let you become one.” If she was thinking straight, capable of thinking clearly in this moment, she’d know he’s only protecting her. Only trying to save her from the thing she told him not even a week ago she could never forgive herself for. Taking someone’s life. “Once you do this, there’s no turning back.”

Solana’s eyes shut as another round of tears makes its way to the surface, heavier and harder to manage with the gun in her hand.

Roman notices this and takes a tentative step forward. “Please, Solana.” His tone is almost desperate, borderline begging. “Give me the gun.”

Eyes still closed and with a weakness she hasn’t felt in years, Solana relents, loosening her grip, allowing Roman to take the gun that he quickly hands to Jey. He moves to catch her as she falls into his chest, sobbing again. Roman cradles her head and kisses the top of her hair while Jimmy and Jey move to jump Xavier, taking that opportunity to get blows in on the old man, both careful to avoid any that could be lethal.

It’s obvious this son of a bitch is in line for a world of suffering that will extend far past tonight.

“Oh, we finna take our time killing you, motherfucker.” 

Everything sounds a bit distant. The sound of the twins yelling obscenities at the demon she called a father. Roman trying to comfort her, to settle her. It’s all too much. Too overwhelming. The crying settles into something sullen and solemn, silent tears streaming down her face as she murmurs against him, “I want to go home.”

The emotion is there, but her presence and awareness of everything is diminishing. Solana knows what’s coming, has experienced this state of separation, of dissociating. 

She needs to get away.

Roman says something she can’t make out, and before she realizes it, there’s another set of arms around her. Bayley. Naomi is chatting with Roman, the only thing she’s able to make out, 

‘Don’t leave her alone.’

Alone.

She’s not sure she’s ever felt that as strongly as she does at this moment.

________

It’s all such a blur.

Such a separate thing. Emotions separate from her. Emotions that are dark, heavy, confusing, overwhelming. Fleeting. There’s an oscillation of all the feelings. Tears that accompany heartache. Sobbing that accompanies grief. Nothing that arrives with nothing. 

It’s a brutal, miserable experience of feeling the weight of the world but also the emptiness of the void.

It’s obvious that Naomi and Bayley don’t know how to help her, don’t know how to comfort her, just continue to sit with her, letting her cry when she needs to and scream when she has to. Even Dulce sits by her side, whimpering every so often and licking her.

It’s appreciated. So appreciated. 

But….it’s not enough.

Losing her mother was heartbreaking. Losing her in the way she did, so violently and graphically was torture.

Being held down and gang raped by two grown men at twelve years old nearly killed her. They nearly killed her.

But, there’s something about finding out that her father, her biological father, was responsible for those two things that’s almost impossible to believe.

She knew her father was cruel.

She just didn’t know just how cruel until this very evening. 

Escape.

Her mother was trying to escape, trying to make a better life for herself and her children. And he killed her for it.

Tried to kill Solana too, and when that didn’t work, he traded her virginity in exchange for payment. 

Flashes. Glimpses. Images. 

They’ve been hitting her nonstop since the truth came out. Playing in her mind like some kind of sick horror film. It’s torture. It’s painful. It’s unbearable.

It’s too much. 

She places her hands on the bathroom counter, having finished using the bathroom after waking up yet again from night terrors.

Her eyes shut.

Solana is tired.

So so tired. Tired of the pain. Of the lies. Of the betrayal. Everything hurts. Everything feels so heavy. She tries to escape in sleep, but the memories haunt her and suddenly, she’s reliving it all, but now with the horrific knowledge that the first man who should have ever loved and protected her was responsible for her biggest traumas.

And it’s impossible to escape those flashes, those thoughts and flashbacks becoming more frequent and intrusive by the minute. She’s suffocating.

Drowning in her own head.

Drowning in her own body. 

Solana’s eyes open and fall over to the shower where her razor would have been available if not for her earlier strength and ability to hand it and the brand new box of them over to Bayley and Naomi.

Just an hour or two ago, she was able to do that much. Able to resist that temptation and not break years of sobriety.

But, now…. now she can’t. 

She doesn’t even want to.

That would only provide a temporary escape.

She’s just….just so tired.

She wants….needs something longer.

Something more permanent. 

Unable to escape the mental anguish, Solana leans down and digs through a toiletries bag from the trip she hasn’t unpacked. 

And she pulls out the bottle of sleeping pills. 

Roman’s request from months ago returns, smacking into her. 

“Any of those thoughts come back, you tell me. I don’t care if you have to paint it on the fucking wall. I want to know.” His intense expression is set right on her, needing to make sure she understands what he’s asking of her. “Understand?”

Her eyes water.

Roman….

Even with his lack of being honest with her, of somehow knowing but not telling her the truth, there’s never been a person that she’s loved more than him. Not since her mom.

It’s why she can’t call him. Can’t continue to burden him with having to deal with all her shit.

All she’s done since entering his life is make shit difficult. She’s done it with him. Bayley. Naomi. Jimmy. Jey. 

All of them.

They’ve had to adjust so much just for her, and for what? For her to end up right back where she started?

She can’t….she can’t do that to them again.

She can’t do that to Roman again.

She loves him too much for that, loves him too much to continue to hurt him.

She just….she just needs to remove herself from the equation.

Needs to remove herself from all of their lives. 

Forever. 

Shaking hands twist off the cap as she dumps a handful of pills into her trembling palm.

There’s the briefest second of a delay, a moment where she reconsiders, where she wonders if she’s making the right decision. But another flashback hits her, the feeling of the knife slicing through her mother’s lifeless body and entering Solana ripping her away from that reconsideration.

Another thought of Roman and her friends having to help her yet again.

Save her again.

She can’t do it anymore. She doesn’t want to do it anymore.

There is no saving her anymore.

This is the only way. 

And she swallows, using the water bottle on the counter to force the excessive amount of pills down her throat. A brief glance at her reflection brings on another set of silent tears. Broken. Empty. There’s nothing left for her to do, no reason for her to exist anymore.

Not even bothering to put the pills away, Solana walks out of the bathroom and into the dark bedroom where Bayley is the first to ask, still sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, dedicated to staying awake for her ‘shift’, completely unaware of this being the last time they’ll interact. “Do you need something?”

Solana shakes her head and climbs back onto the bed. Grabbing her phone, ignoring the tears that blur her vision, she types out a simple text to the one person she’ll miss the most. 

She’ll miss them all, but none more than him.

Solana: I’m sorry. 

Sent and delivered, she locks her phone, placing it on the nightstand, closing her eyes. 

Solana just wants to go to sleep.

And this time…..not wake up.

________

Rage. 

Fury.

Wrath.

And any word synonymous to anger, yet none of them adequately describe what’s coursing all throughout Roman’s body. Years. It’s been years since he’s felt this much anger, held so much of it that he has a hard time thinking and feeling.

He’s incapable of escaping the sound of Solana’s sobbing, the way she literally fell apart in front of him, breaking before him.

And it’s all because of the son of a bitch currently underneath him on the receiving end of  devastating blow after blow of Roman’s brass knuckled fists. How long he’s been hitting the old man is beyond him. Not long enough.

It’ll never be long enough.

Never painful enough. 

Not for what he’s done.

A hand on his uninjured shoulder temporarily pulls him away from his newfound life mission to make this piece of shit feel every type of pain imaginable before he takes his last breath. 

Roman’s roar bounces off the walls. “What!”

Jey looks unfazed by Roman’s irate tone and instead advises, “he’s unconscious, Uce. Let up or you gon kill him.”

That’s the fucking goal.

But not yet. Death is too sweet for Xavier to receive at this point.

Huffing and suddenly aware of all the energy expended as well as the blood splattered all over his clothes and face, Roman tosses the knuckles to the side and issues an order to Jey even while walking, refusing to acknowledge any appreciation for his warning, “let me know when Jimmy has them.”

Them.

Them being the two men who have no idea what kind of horror awaits them. Men whose names were tortured out of Xavier pretty easily by Roman.

Rapists.

Solana’s rapists. 

Reaching the locker room  in the back, Roman easily strips himself naked and steps in the shower, allowing the water to rain down his body, red mixing with clear and disappearing down the drain. Hands against the shower wall, he shuts his eyes.

He can’t escape the sound of Solana’s wails. He’s never heard or seen her so upset. Never wanted to. It’s the exact reason he settled on not telling her the truth, because he knew this would happen.

Knew this would destroy her.

It’s just the extent of the destruction that worries him.

Just how far back this has set her that has him feeling something he hasn’t felt in years but has now experienced twice tonight. Once when he saw the hand raised and gun lifted in Solana’s direction and now her breakdown.

Fear.

It has him scared.

And Roman doesn't know what to do with that emotion, doesn’t know how to handle it outside of beating the shit out of and torturing her father and rapists. But even that only does so much.

It doesn’t do enough, because she’s hurting, more than she probably ever has, and he can’t do shit about it.

Because making the fuckers who hurt her suffer doesn’t do shit for the pain she’s experiencing now.

And he hates that shit. Hates that she’s hurting and he can’t help her, take away that pain from her.

With all the frustration in his body, Roman slams his fist into the shower wall, forcing himself to calm down just enough to get cleaned up.

He uses a fresh set of clothes in the lockers to redress himself, redoing his bandages and using a towel to dry off his hair as best as possible. 

But, it’s when Jey comes and seems to interfere with Roman starting his next round of torture, a thought of starting to skin the old man sounding more than desirable, that his frustration multiplies.

“Not now.”

Roman continues to walk when he feels Jey forcefully grab his arm, forcing him to turn around. Roman looks at his hand and then back at Jey. “Have you lost—”

“Roman.” 

But, it’s the tone that stops the Head of the Table from issuing out his threat. In all the years he’s known Jey, he’s never heard his cousin use such a heavy, spooked tone.

“What?” There’s hesitation, and that only pisses Roman off. “What!”

Jey swallows, answering with an almost pained countenance. “Solana’s at the hospital.” Jey’s frown, sadness seeped and imbued into his usual gregarious voice. “She tried to kill herself, Roman.”

________

Three.

There’s now been three separate occurrences in a single day that have caused Roman to experience the emotion most unfamiliar to him.

Fear.

And this third time, it’s the strongest it’s ever been as he marches into the hospital floor where he was informed she was.

“Where is she!”

And when his gaze lands on a clearly disturbed and crying Naomi and Bayley, the anger only grows as he moves over to them. “What the fuck happened!” Roman doesn’t give them time to respond, too consumed with his anger that’s truly a mask hiding his fear. “Why weren’t you watching her! I fucking told you to watch her!”

Bayley is the first to shoot up from her chair, eyes watery but scowl intact. “We were! She—”

But, he’s not trying to hear shit what she has to say. Not when they’ve failed him in the worst way possible. “Obviously you fucking weren’t because we’re standing in a goddamn hosptal–”

Jimmy, who Roman had completely forgotten came along with him, Jey as well, does his best to diffuse the situation, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Roman, you need to calm—”

But the Head of the Table is too far gone, harshly shrugging off his cousin’s innocent attempt at calming him down. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Roman removes himself from their presence, not even wanting to see these useless bitches as he calls out once again. “Where is she!”

It’s only then he sees a blonde woman walk out from the back, dressed in a white coat, clipboard in hand. She looks irritated which only pisses him off because how the fuck do you work at a fucking hospital and look annoyed. But, when she sees him, or maybe sees how irate he is, her gaze softens. 

She steps in his direction as Roman also steps toward her, putting some distance between himself and the group. “Mr. Reigns, can—”

“Where is my wife?” It’s the same question he will keep asking until it no longer needs to be asked because he’s taken to her.

The woman, doctor, probably, frowns, motioning to the back. “Can we talk in private?”

Roman pinches the bridge of his nose, doing his best not to violate his code of never putting his hands on a woman. But, this bitch is really fucking pushing it. 

He just wants to see Solana.

He needs to see her. 

“You’ve got three fucking seconds to take me—”

She scoffs, relenting and “Fine, we’ll do it here. Your wife is in recovery. We were able to successfully pump her stomach, but we had to sedate her because she was inconsolable upon waking up. I suspect she’s in the midst of some sort of psychotic episode.”

There’s so much in that sentence to process. Roman doesn’t even know where to begin to dissect it, so he starts with the part that pisses him off the most. “She tried to overdose on pills and your solution was to put more fucking medicine in her?”

The doctor, however, seems to show no sign of backing down. “My patient needed to be stabilized, so I stabilized her.” Her voice softens a bit as she adds, not necessarily as something to throw in his face but rather an important note he shouldn’t ignore. “If you had seen how upset she was, you would have understood.”

Roman, however, can’t think about that. Can’t think about how upset and terrified Solana must have been. Somehow a level calmer, he expresses once again, “I want to see her.”

“I understand, but—”

Right away, Roman knows his brief respite from level 10 rage is about to be broken by whatever she’s about to say. “What?”

She takes a deep breath, informing, “I’m putting her on a 5250 hold.”

Roman looks from side to side. “What the fuck does that mean?”

There’s no sign of hesitation as she explains, “it means I’m keeping her here in the hospital for two weeks on a legally mandated psychiatric hold.”

Yeah….he was absolutely right. 

Level fucking 10. 

“Like hell you are!” Roman is seeing red. Who in the flying fuck does this bitch think she is to say Solana is staying in the hospital? “She’s coming home with me. Tonight. The minute she fucking wakes up.”

And that’s a fact.

“How much do you know about Solana’s psychiatric history?” A lot, and that’s why he knows she doesn’t need to stay here in this forbidding, sterile place. She needs to be home with him so he can take care of her. “This is her second suicide attempt. Now, I don’t know what the hell happened to trigger this psychotic break, but your wife is severely and actively suicidal.” She lowers her voice, softly and almost sympathetically sharing with him so only he can hear. “She was inconsolable because she was upset we saved her life. She was upset she was still alive.”

That’s it.

The thing that makes Roman’s anger crumble almost entirely. 

He wanted to believe it was a mistake, an accident of some sort. Didn’t want to believe that she truly intended to take her life tonight.

But this woman has no reason to lie, and beyond that, he’s innately adept at deciphering when someone is lying and when they’re being truthful. 

She’s not lying. 

Solana wanted to die.

Solana wanted to actually die.

And he doesn’t know what to do with that information. 

At all. 

The crack in his harsh exterior must be evident, because the doctor continues to try to convince him what he now knows probably is the right thing to do. “You can get her to sign an AMA and take her home, but I guarantee you that she’ll end up right back in this hospital for another attempt…..and the next time might be too late.”

He can’t.

Roman can’t lose her. He can’t even let himself think about what he would do if he lost her.

Especially if it was because of her own actions. 

She continues, desperate, “let us get her stabilized. On a medication regimen. As I said, this presents as a brief psychotic episode, which we can help her manage and treat but only if you let us keep her here to monitor her.” 

Roman tilts his head back, eyes closed as he scratches his beard. There’s an unfamiliar weight in his chest and stomach at the thought of having to leave this hospital tonight without Solana. But this isn’t about what he wants, it’s about what’s best for Solana. 

It’s about what she needs, and he’ll do whatever he has to do to make sure she gets the help she needs. 

“Jey.” His cousin steps up, previously keeping a respectful distance. “Get with security. I don’t want a son of a bitch that’s not Bloodline or Bloodline vetted to step foot on this floor while she’s here.”

Jey nods. “You got it.” 

Roman overhears footsteps followed by the woman speaking again, “Thank you.” She takes another deep breath and informs, “Now, it’s standard practice that we not allow visitors the first couple days—“

And just like that, the anger has returned, even more intense now that he knows Solana isn’t getting released tonight. Or anytime soon. “I don’t give a fuck about your standard practice—”

Bayley’s voice suddenly enters the conversation, Roman aware that the remaining group has stepped forward, obviously wanting to be aware of the plan and what happens now. “Roman, can you please just let Dr. Stratus do her fucking job? This isn’t about—”

Bayley, however, chose the wrong time to fuck with him. Because any filter he ever acquired because of Solana certainly won’t be used until she’s back home, with him, where she belongs.  “Like you were supposed to? Solana wouldn’t be here if you were watching her like I fucking told you to! This is your fault!”

There’s a small, minute part of him that feels bad when he sees the devastation on Bayley’s face, but it’s short lived, vastly overpowered by his tremendous anger. 

And fear.

Bayley is quick with the response though, ready and willing to aim just as low as he is. “Fuck you, Roman! You don’t get to blame this on us! You should have fucking told her! You had no right to keep the truth from her! She’s here because of you!”

The dark irony in her accusation is that It’s nothing he doesn’t already know.

Nothing he doesn’t already hate himself for.

Bayley is absolutely right.

This absolutely is on him. 

His attempts to save her only damned her. 

“Stop it! Both of ya’ll! This don’t do shit to help, and Solana wouldn’t want ya’ll fighting!” Jimmy suddenly jumps in, moving between the two highly emotional people, even if both are only expressing it as anger. He turns to his cousin first, as Naomi tries to pull Bayley away, also working to de-escalate an already tense situation. “Look, Uce, I know you want to see her, but—”

“I’m not leaving without seeing her.” Roman’s gaze is on his cousin but it’s directed toward the doctor who either takes some type of mercy on him or recognizes that Roman will literally kill everyone who gets in his way if she doesn’t give in to his demand, because she’s switching her tune.

“A couple of minutes,” she relents. “But only you.” 

Roman doesn’t care about the rest of them anyway. They can see her whenever they fucking see her. 

He’s the one who needs to see her. 

But, it’s in seeing her that a part of him wishes he didn’t. Because this isn’t right. She shouldn’t be laid up like this, unconscious, pale, such a sad expression on her sleeping face.

He hasn’t seen her like this since that first night he overheard and woke her up from her nightmare.

A nightmare. 

He’d give anything for that to be the case again. 

“I can’t lose you, Solana.” It's the first thing to leave his mouth, a plea and prayer. There’s nothing but vulnerability in his voice, and he doesn’t give a fuck. He’ll be as vulnerable as he needs to be for her. He’ll do anything for her. “I need you. I told you that, but I don’t think you understand how badly I need you.”

If there was any doubt before, it’s completely destroyed now. He doesn’t know how honest or comfortable he could be outside of these four walls, if it wasn’t just the two of them, but right now, with nothing but her steady breathing and rhythmic beating of the machines she’s plugged up to, he’ll pour his heart out.

“You can’t leave me, alright?” Roman’s hand moves to her forehead, thumb caressing her skin that feels too cold, doesn’t feel like her. “I don’t care what it takes, what you need, what I have to fucking do, but I need you to get better, and I’ll do anything to help you.” 

And he will. It’s why despite how much he hates this notion of having to leave her, the almost anxiety he has at having to leave tonight without her in his arms, he’ll do it. He’ll do it because he just wants her to be happy.

She deserves that, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it to her. 

His voice is thick with emotion. “I just need you to stay with me, baby, okay?” Not being able to see her pretty brown eyes, the curl of her full lips as she smiles, his favorite fucking thing in the world, it’s torture.

He never wants to see her like this again. 

He can’t. 

He won’t.

Roman kisses her forehead and forces himself to walk out of the hospital room, one of the hardest departures he’s ever had to do. Dr. Stratus is waiting outside the door, and just like that, the infamous stoic, unreadable expression is back.

With Solana, he’s just Roman.

But for everyone else, he’s the Tribal Chief. 

There is no other option. 

“No men on her care team. Women only.” If she’s going to be here, he’s going to make sure she

has everything she needs. “I want daily updates. Anything happens or changes with her status at all, I want to know. You understand me?”

Dr. Stratus must have also read the section in Solana’s medical records that alludes to her sexual trauma, because she doesn’t object. “Understood.” She swallows, bringing the medical chart to her chest. “You know…I head an inpatient women’s psychiatric clinic about an hour out. It’s not uncommon for patients like your wife to transition there following dis—”

“You can keep her on your two week hold, but she’s coming home with me as soon as that’s up. Try and get in my way, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

She’s wise to not push, smart to not try to stop him from leaving, because as far as Roman is concerned, there’s nothing and no one he’ll stop short from torturing, killing, and maiming if they try to get in his way of being with Solana.

He can’t live without her.

He loves her too much to live without her.

[sanakiras]

LIAR, LIAR! [TEASER]

PAIRING — kim mingyu x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.4k (full fic will be 20k+)

RELEASE DATE — TBA, will probably take a while!

SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.

TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, dark comedy if u ask me, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst

♪ aquartos - crystal city,, verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex

NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. enjoy :D

i. TWO WEEKS SINCE THE MURDER

the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair you’re seated on is uncomfortable, though it’s nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like you’re guilty of something.

“on september 2nd, sometime around six o’clock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight o’clock, the police received a call from you, saying your father’s hung himself.”

you stare at the the inspector whose name you did not bother remembering before waving with your hand. “i’m aware. i’ve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isn’t the first time i’m being interrogated, surprisingly enough.”

with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. “you don’t think you should be a suspect?”

“no, i don’t.”

“at the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, it’s hard to say what happened, since there were no witnesses.”

“do you mind me asking why you think it’s murder and not just a suicide?”

he’s intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. “your father was an important man. wouldn’t you want to know who killed him if that is the case?”

“sure. i’d thank them.” you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. “believe me, inspector — my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with other miserable people. i wasn’t there by choice.”

“did he treat you badly, then?” he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.

you can only sigh. “i was his daughter by blood only. that’s all.”

with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspector’s tone changes into something different. “aside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your father’s death.”

that sparks your interest. “who?”

the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone you’re unfortunately awfully familiar with.

“kim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?” you ask, completely in shock. ironically, he’s the last person you’d suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.

“what can you tell me about him?”

“he’s a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.”

“anything else?”

keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. “our parents are good friends. well, were, now that my father’s gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.”

“any particular reason why?”

“i’m not sure where it started… there’s just something off about him. it’s always been there. he’s—beyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply don’t get along, never have. nothing you haven’t seen before, i’m sure.”

the inspector raises his brow. “i think you may have left something out.”

“such as?”

his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. “your father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings — you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.”

your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. “don’t tell me this is the reason i’m a suspect.”

“let’s just say it doesn’t make you look good.”

“you really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? that’s pathetic and ridiculous.”

“you wouldn’t be the first. it’s a plausible story.”

scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. “we’re done here. the moment you have an actual lead, i’ll talk, but not like this. i’m still here grieving and you’re accusing me of being the culprit.” you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.

this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.

you’ve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but there’s been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen — they’re treating you like a suspect now.

which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.

your contact in the police force mentioned to you that you’re not just any suspect — you’re one of the two main suspects.

and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.

as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, who’s leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.

his lips part before he starts explaining. “they wanted to talk to me. again.”

“haven’t you heard the rumors, gyu?” you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, “they’re saying there’s a possibility you killed him.”

your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. “that’s ridiculous.”

“is it? you were always with him… it’s perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.”

he seems offended you’d even insinuate something like that. “it’s really the other way around, though. you’re the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.”

it’s true that you and your father didn’t exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didn’t cry the moment they told you he had passed away.

“no, we all know how much you liked him,” you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, “but they must not believe that, considering you’re just as much of a suspect as i am.”

he clenches his jaw. “i’m not guilty.”

“neither am i.”

it’s quiet for a moment as you’re both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.

a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair. you proceeded to laugh in his face.

mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and that’s the last thing you need in your life.

“if i find out you’re somehow involved in this—”

instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. “then what?”

you realize you need to be careful with your words here — you can’t throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. “i’ll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit don’t. i never have.”

a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. “i’d be careful with my words if i were you,” he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, “there’s always someone watching.”

only now do you take notice of how close you’re standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.

so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.

mingyu’s eyes remain on you until you move past the corner. he only moves from his spot once you’re gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.

if you’d like to be tagged in this once it’s released, leave a comment! <3

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 3 My iron lung

Chapter 3 of Sinnerwoman

A/N- Jun-ho reunion and the games!! Are you excited? cause I am!

Warning- ANGST!! Some fluff. Weapons, blood, violence and death. Suggested self harm. Spoilers for the show!

Pairing- Hwang Jun-ho x fem!reader

Episode- 2x02, 2x03 & (only part of) 2x04

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

——

Like a rebellious teenager craving chaos, you recklessly seek warmth in the fire that eats away at the painted picture of the man who called himself your father, feeling no remorse. It doesn’t eat away at you the way the fire ravenously consumes your father’s face. Angry-made tears well in your eyes, threatening to snuff the fire out, but it's quickly forgotten as a bitter coldness riddles you and keeps you from shedding a single tear.

Now you understand why some people find fire so beautiful, it’s merciless and destructive, leaving no way to salvage what was lost. It almost feels liberating seeing the flames leave no trace of your father's face on the family portrait. It tempts you to set the entire apartment ablaze, but alas, Jun-ho is here and you don’t want the fire to take him from you.

Which is why with that thought in mind, before the fire can jump to some other part of the house or eat away at the rest of the portrait, you splash water on the fire to put it out, polluting the air with smoke, and leaving a small pile of ash on the ground. Meanwhile, in the background you finally hear rustling before the sound of soft footsteps touches the ground, confirming that Jun-ho is awake.

There’s no need to look back or fill the silence with a question, you weren’t a decorated detective for nothing. You know he’s awake and trying to sneak over to you, so you hang your family portrait back over the fireplace and then look down at the contained fire as you take a deep breath and then show Jun-ho that he is not dreaming.

You stand there across from him, captivated, eyes softening as you take in every detail of each other's faces, and feel at a loss for words just like when you first met. Only this time you aren’t two strangers in the same rookie class, your souls are intertwined and share an epic past.

“Jun-ho,” you greet with bliss you can’t contain as you finally get to say his name to him and not torment your heart thinking about it over and over again.

“You,” he says breathlessly and drops every ounce of hostility to try and approach you with overwhelming relief, but just as he attempts to get closer, he also stops and bewilderment takes over the bliss that had once controlled his features.

“The man you were helping, Seong Gi-hun has re-entered the games,” you share instead of addressing the elephant in the room as if that is what he demands an explanation from. “Your team is alive but their pursuit was stopped by pink guards.”

The multitude of emotions and questions all flash in Jun-ho’s eyes, leaving him speechless.

“You…” you continue to fill the silence as you avert your gaze to avoid looking at the emotions cascading through him. “Look thinner.”

Your eyes flicker up and you note his difference once again; the exhaustion, the solemn in his dark eyes, and the definition of his face as he doesn’t carry the same weight. You also notice he looks older, but no amount of time has chipped away at how handsome he is. He’s just as beautiful if not even more so than the last time.

“You were missing for three years,” he finally manages to overcome his shock and finds his ability to speak. “I thought you were missing.”

You immediately drop your eyes to the floor out of shame as if a magnet had forced them to look down. “I disappeared,” you mumble.

Jun-ho scoffs and you hear him take a couple of footsteps back before he raises his voice. “I’ve been searching for you. I thought something terrible happened.”

“Jun-ho, we don’t have time—”

“We don’t have time?” He says back what you told him before he shouts. “I thought you were dead! How can you stand there and act like you didn’t completely turn my life upside down by making me believe something terrible happened to you!”

You begin to nervously rub your thigh and offer him the only words that feel right and are right. “I’m sorry, Jun-ho. I’m so sorry.”

He scoffs with frustration and you hear him turn away, so you slowly scale your eyes up and watch him try and process what’s unfolding before him, but you also mean what you told him so you go on as he processes. “I need to make this quick, okay, so listen. Whatever questions you have about my disappearance, shelve them for now. Please.”

He doesn’t answer, nor does he turn so you continue without even attempting to approach him. “Do you remember how I told you about my past? About the family that adopted me soon after I escaped North Korea? Well, my father. My adoptive father was one of the investors of the games as well as one of the men that helped the man who created them.”

Jun-ho goes rigid for a brief moment before he slowly turns and faces you with more shell-shock disbelief. “No,” he gasps.

You ignore his comment and continue to share a part of your past that he didn’t know. All he knew was that your family was rich, that’s all, but now he’ll learn it all. “He was The Front Man for a time, and I…didn’t know why he would leave home. Not until I was much older. And when I knew I would accompany him to the Island.”

“Why?” He mutters.

“Because all I wanted was his approval,” you explain, but that’s not the answer he’s looking for. “I wanted him to love me. That blinded me, but—”

“Why?” He says again, cutting you off before you can finish.

“Why what?” You ask as you shake your head in confusion.

He takes a couple of steps forward, making your breath hitch.

“Why didn’t you tell me? All that time we were together, why didn’t you tell me about your past?” He finally shares the rest of his question, but you just hold his gaze in silence before you step back and continue with what you had been saying.

“I saw that I was wrong. I saw that the games were wrong and that trying to get him to love me wasn’t worth sacrificing my morales—-”

“Tell me,” he cuts you off again, but you remain defiant. “Please.”

“I left that life behind. I turned my back on it and tried to pretend it didn’t exist, so I didn’t know—”

“Why?” He asks between your explanation, but you continue.

“…your brother was involved. I didn’t know he was the Front Man—”

“Why?!” He exclaims as he also shouts your name, silencing you right away as if he had stolen your breath.

“Because—because,” you stammer as your memories riddle you with pain. “I left. I saw that the games were wrong so I left and I had the intention to expose them. I was close too, but my father…would do anything to protect the games and so he did.” You sniffle as tears quickly make their way down your cheeks. “He sent people to hurt me. He’s the reason I will never be able to have children,” you pause and Jun-ho’s face falls as he hears the response he pestered you for.

“My wounds are scars now. They don’t hurt anymore, but every time I remember what he did and why he did it, I’m riddled with a sharp pain. In my heart and my scars. And even though he didn’t make this scar,” you say and point to the scar over your ear. “He was the reason it’s there. That’s why I didn’t tell you. That’s why I chose to just leave it all behind and pretend like the island and the games didn’t exist, because it hurt. Because it was a nightmare.”

Jun-ho nods softly in comprehension while his eyes glisten with tears.

“I didn’t know your brother was the Front Man,” you say again so he understands that you’re being honest about that. “I didn’t know. I didn’t have any involvement with the games before I found out you were there. You believe me right?” You ask and finally, take a step toward him to press that question.

“I do,” he says and lets you feel an ounce of relief before he makes your heart skip a beat. “But I don’t understand why you let me believe you went missing. I…loved you.”

You try hard. You try to fight hard, but tears still stream down your cheeks as you feel your heart get crushed at the sound of him using past tense.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you just stay with me and tell me the truth?” He continues to inquire in search of an answer to all those years he spent searching for someone who was never missing, just gone from his life.

“Because…I didn’t want you to die,” you tell him without trying to find a way around it. “Because I couldn’t put your life at risk by telling you.”

“So you left? And what? Joined my brother? You became one of them?” He interjects and points to the silver mask on the coffee table, making you take a deep breath before you finally approach him after having a gap keeping you apart.

“Jun-ho I went back because I didn’t want to put your life at risk. I didn’t want to see you die—”

“But,” he cuts you off before you put your hand over his mouth to shut him up so you can continue your explanation, causing him to hold your gaze with a piercing confused look.

“Listen. Just listen. I wanted to disappear to keep you safe because I know you. You’re persistent. Stubborn. And you would have gotten hurt or died and I couldn’t fathom losing you, so I left with the intention of just lying under the radar, but your brother found me. He called me and offered me a spot at his side. So I took it. I’ve been there for two years trying to gain their trust to destroy them from the inside. That’s my plan.”

He blinks repeatedly as he takes in what you said, so you slowly pull your hand off of his mouth and continue to hold his gaze, feeling butterflies and a dancing heart as he doesn’t look away.

“You’re doing it alone?” Is all that he can think of asking first.

You nod stiffly. “It’s not a new thing. I may not like it, but I’m used to being alone.” You shrug nonchalantly.

He shakes his head and pushes his face closer to you to the point it’s almost like you’re sharing breaths. “But it doesn’t have to be that way. That man. Seong Gi-hun is going back to try and stop the games from the inside too. He has a tracker in a fake tooth that a few other men and I will follow to help him,” he explains without so much as doubting you because he knows you. He knows every part of you now and he knows that you aren’t being deceitful about your plans.

“We can work together.”

You smile at the sound of his words and have the courage to cup his cheek and tilt your face so your lips are brushing. “You are my life, Hwang Jun-ho. And you will be my life until the end of the line…” you trail off and his eyebrows furrow as he fights every muscle in his body in an attempt to not ignore all his anger and finally connect to what he's been missing for three years.

“Oh, my Jun-ho,” you whisper as you smile at the feeling of his cheek against your palm once again

He stays still, unable to fight off the need to feel the warmth of your flesh on his, or the ache that unfurls in your proximity as if you were meant to be molded together as one. It’s why it’s easy to sneak out your taser from your pocket and bring it close to the back of his neck without him seeing.

“You trust me right?” You ask for reassurance, and without a doubt, even though you’ve hurt him, he nods.

“Good.” You smile softly. “I’ll take care of things. I will put an end to those games.”

He takes in what you say without adding anything, so once again you taze him until he falls unconscious because you know otherwise, he will follow you whether you want it or not. And you can’t have him following you just yet. After all, there’s no way Player 456 will still have that tracker hidden in his tooth and you can’t put Jun-ho’s life at risk, so it’s a necessary evil knocking him out.

Helping Player 456 will be hard with In-ho planning to be in the games trying to sabotage him, but you will try without abandoning your own selfish plan that is.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“I’m sorry I had to taze you. I couldn’t have you following me just yet. Simple as that.

I do hope you believe what I said nevertheless. I do want to bring an end to those games, so I will try and help your friend. Don’t worry.

I hope I won’t see you soon, but knowing you, you’ll be searching relentlessly, so be careful and maybe I will see you.

-Yours truly”

A knock raps on your door, putting an end to the mental loop of the note you left Jun-ho before you left him unconscious in your abandoned family apartment, and pulling all your attention to the intruder.

“Come in,” you announce with your voice all muffled because of the blanket you have covering your mouth.

The door proceeds to open but no one walks in. In-ho, the person you expected to be your morning intruder simply interjects through a creak. “Your alarm has been on a loop for the past ten minutes. Turn it off.”

In response you turn around on your bed to put an end to the looping alarm playing your favorite western song by an old and long-dead famous singer; Elvis Presley.

“People are starting to wake up and gather in the middle of the room,” In-ho adds whilst you return to lay on your side—“and you’re late.”

“Uh-huh,” you brush him off, making him sigh in annoyance before he closes the door, leaving you to remain in the same position you’ve been in for the past couple of hours. Unfortunately, you couldn’t take advantage of the fact that last night would be the last night in a while that you would be able to get a good night's sleep without having to be wary of your surroundings constantly so you don’t get potentially stabbed by a ravenous player. You were wide-eyed awake almost all night replaying the reunion you had with Jun-ho.

After three years of yearning. After three years of watching over him from the shadows, and after three years of only being able to be close through old pictures, you finally were able to look him in the eyes and feel his warmth even if it was just trickles of it.

You couldn’t tell him the long thought-out apology you conjured in your mind, and played over and over again until remembering every word felt as simple as breathing. You couldn’t embrace him, or feel the rhythm of his beating heart. And you couldn’t ask him about your dog, but simply being able to stand under the same roof and share a few words was enough to drive you mad and have you like a love-sick fool, explaining the looping alarm that plays a song you both cherish. Or one you cherish, maybe it doesn’t hold the same value within him anymore.

Who knows, all you know is you couldn’t stop thinking about him and you wanted to let the song play before you had to start a bloody day that will lead to a tougher week, but alas, with the alarm turned off because of the morning intruder, you’re forced to start the bloody day.

Whereas In-ho as the Front Man is enveloped by dark colors, you don a purely white uniform that stands out just like him amongst a sea of pink guards and green players.

The mask you wear may not cover the entirety of your face like In-ho’s, but your silver mask in shape like a crane’s face, and the important meaning behind an animal mask is able to steal all the attention from your exposed lips and chin.

Furthermore, wearing the mask not only hides your identity but hiding under the mask from the world within the island makes it easier to play a character that is far from who you really are. You’re a changed person. You are the Crane that eludes everything you are not. That’s why it’s easy to stride out proudly and demand all the attention in the control room. Or so that’s what you tell yourself to make the pill easier to swallow…

Nevertheless, late as you are, you aren’t ashamed of it. You don’t cower in In-ho’s presence, even as he looks up from the floor to pierce his intimidating screened eyes into you. Anyone working under you and him would feel small under the gaze of such a terrifying presence, but you don’t falter. You tower just as tall as him and make light out of the situation by raising your mug full of spiked coffee and shoot him a teasing smirk.

In-ho most likely sighs in annoyance behind his mask knowing him, before he turns and continues to look at one spot on the floor. You grow curious as to what has his attention so captivated, so you slowly make your way toward him, seeing pictures pop up one by one on the floor under you as the players take pictures for identification.

However, just as you’re about to reach the Front Man, he walks away to another corner. He can’t hide what he was seeing so you catch it just under your nose, the picture of Player 456, his obsession that will have him enter the games, and the one person you have an interest in too. Which is funny, really, In-ho has tasked himself with sabotaging him and you have set yourself to try and help him.

It’s almost so poetic that you can’t help the faint smile that slowly tugs on your lips.

Before someone can catch you smiling to yourself like some crazy person though, you turn around and stand on the tile at the end of the floor and watch as the players make their way to the first game, unaware of what horror awaits them.

It’s always the same thing. They all carry the same curiosity as they ascend the multitude of stairs, just like they all have the same questions after they wake up and the pink guards give their introduction, “What are we doing here?” “Why were we practically kidnapped?” “Why do you hide your face?” “Can we leave?” Etc, etc. It’s a dread watching all that so you skipped it this year. Besides, you realized that it’s better to scout the players while they’re playing the first game.

If someone freaks out and dies trying to run after the first kill, then it would have been a waste of time looking into them at the beginning. Watching the first game lets you read every player like open books; if they’re cowards, brave, determined, morbid, and challenged. Of course, you won’t know who to use in your fight to end these games just yet, you’ll know when you’re one of the players, but watching the first game is the first step to the end.

“Close the doors,” you tell one of the pink guards after you double-check that every player has filed in the first stage. You then grab your walkie without looking to check on the pink guards in charge of taking out every loser. “Is everyone in their rooms ready to shoot?”

You take a sip of your coffee from a straw while you scan every pink guard behind a screen to make sure there's no technical errors that could interrupt the games.

“Every player is in position and ready,” a guard confirms, letting you return the walkie to where you keep it and then take another sip before you watch everyone position themselves behind the white line as you walk up to In-ho.

“We are ready to start the game,” you let him know.

He keeps his face pointed to the screens and nods lightly before he tilts his head slightly. “Don’t be late this time.”

You hum and watch him leave his spot to go watch the game from the privacy of your shared hall. Once he’s out of the room you face the screens and give your first command. “Start.”

“Cross the finish line without getting caught in five minutes. If you do, you pass.” The woman from the PA system lets the players know without actually telling them the consequences of…well, everything that can get them killed to avoid freaking them out.

“Everyone!” A different voice shouts from inside the stage, causing your eyes to search the screens until the middle screen displays a view of player 456 standing in front of every player.

“Here we go,” you almost let out a laugh.

“Everyone, listen up!” Player 456 continues to proclaim. “Pay attention! Listen carefully! This is not just a game!”

Well, you see why Jun-ho chose to work with him. He’s already trying to help everyone.

“If you lose the game, you die!”

Cameras pan over the different shocked and amused reactions of every player having to listen to every word player 456 is shouting, while in the room with you, footsteps approach you before a distorted voice fills the silence of the room. “Should we silence him?” The guard asks.

You bring the straw to your lips and think. This is the first call you have to make as the one in charge. In-ho and every VIP watching this will watch whether you choose to silence player 456 or let him make the other players uneasy, so you feel the weight of pressure already closing in on you like water slowly swallowing you.

“Hey!” A different player's voice breaks through the commotion. “What are you talking about?! We’re going to die playing Red Light, Green Light?”

“Yes, that’s right! If they catch you moving, they will kill you! They will shoot you from somewhere! Stay on your toes”

Confusion is shared amongst the players as well as an uneasiness that makes them all rowdy as they question the crazy man amongst themselves. And it’s while you see every player seem unaware of the truth that the pressure is lifted off as you make your first decision.

“Leave him,” you finally give your response as you steal a glimpse at the black-suited guard with a pink square mask. The man that will be left in charge when In-ho and you are on the other side of that screen. “Let’s see how long the players go without realizing he’s actually right. It’ll make for a more amusing game.”

You look back at the screen and drink from your coffee before you give a different command. “Start now.”

“You have to believe me!” Player 456 shouts desperately moments before finally, the giant doll on the stage turns to face the tree and start the first game.

“Don’t be alarmed or panic! No matter what happens do not panic and start running!”

You scoff and continue to drink from your coffee.

“Let the game begin,” the PA finally announces before the timer starts and the doll starts singing.

“Green light…”

People start moving past Player 456 and then the doll ends the first round. “…red light.”

“Freeze!” Player 456 warns the group with his hands out, and as you watch the screens you’re amused by the fact that every player survived.

It’s typical, but was it also Player 456’s influence?

“Well done! You just need to stay calm like this! We just have to move and stop at the right time. Then we can all win! We can survive together!”

After a calm first round, the doll sings the second round and more players move while Player 456 stays to try and continue helping those who are still in front of him with more or less of the same words he’s been shouting.

A third round then passes and Player 456 still remains in the same spot trying to help. Once everyone is past him for the fourth round he finally turns, but simply covers his mouth to continue shouting his commands, and with time ticking down, threatening to end his life, you can’t help but genuinely smile in admiration.

A few more rounds come and go and the amount of players remains the same. It’s not until player 196 starts frantically screaming and moving out of place as she’s meant to be frozen that the chance to keep all the players alive for the first game is destroyed.

“Nobody move!” Player 456 warns everyone behind his elbow while you make a sharp turn to stride to a podium with a tablet on it to avoid watching the amusement and confusion end and realization set as the bloodbath begins with a song of panicked screams and gunshots.

“Let me repeat. You can move forward while the tagger shouts “Green light, red light.” If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated,” the PA repeats, but now everyone knows what the real meaning behind being eliminated is. And as a result of Player 456 being proved right, you notice that the players don’t move now when the doll sings again.

Another round passes and the only one who moves forward is Player 456.

A third round passes and again there’s no movement. Will he be the sole winner again?

“You will also die if you don’t make it there in time! The doll is a motion detector!” Player 456 lets them know. “But it can’t detect motion that is not visible to it. Get behind someone bigger than you! Like you’re doing, follow the leader! We’re running out of time! We’ve got to move!”

With two minutes left on the timer, people start moving and scrambling behind someone bigger than they are. And once they’re all frozen your eyes find the tallest woman you’ve seen, Player 120, so you click on their profile on the player roster out of curiosity, discovering that she used to be known as a man. They were also in the special forces but got booted because they chose to transition into a woman—which is the army's loss, but alas, you imagine their transition is why she has crippling debt and why she’s here, but also if she was let go from the army and didn’t leave it could mean she is dependent. She’s also highly skilled given what she was a part of, and through all the chaos she still doesn’t let fear show on her face. Hm.

You’ll keep an eye on her.

The next player that catches your attention is player 230. Not out of curiosity to know more, but because you’re instantly disgusted by the fact that he pushes players out of line and has them killed for what? The fun of it?

He’s acting like it's some party with all his jumping and flaying of arms. What a joke.

You can’t have him killed so you move on to a different player as they come to another stop, player 380. Not because she’s tall, or does anything besides survive. She’s simply cool looking. Plus, you can see through her fear that she wears her defiance on her sleeve. That is what is keeping her alive.

The next player you find, player 246, doesn’t seem so defiant. You can see the horror in their eyes as well as the timidness that he bears. Much like every other player, he has a debt, but not out because he’s addicted to something, lost, or struggling. He has medical bills from his young daughter, meaning a few things, but you like to think he’s here to try and help her, so he could be useful.

Lastly, the last player you check out isn’t one you find interesting. You gravitate towards player 222 because when you catch a glimpse of her behind an elder woman, you’re reminded of your older sister. The one you lost when you were a little girl. The one who loved you despite not being biologically related. The one who took care of you in that orphanage you were brought to when you were a baby. The one who died trying to get you to a better place. Player 222 dons the same softness in her eyes that your sister had. She’s much younger than your sister would have been, but she still reminds you of her…

“Crane,” In-ho’s distorted voice breaks you from your stupor. “It’s time. The players will start crossing the line soon,” he reminds you regardless of the warning he had given you before he left.

“Understood,” you respond curtly before you leave your cup on the podium and leave without a word, leaving the guard in all black in charge.

Yet the fact that you’ll be one of the players doesn’t set when you leave the control room. You don’t realize that your plans will finally be set in motion when you don the player uniform and trace the numbers “002,” on your sweater. You come across In-ho after you both finish changing into your costume and find amusement in his attire, but yet realization doesn’t set in.

“Are you sure you’ll keep your name?” In-ho asks as you start to make your way to the player's floor.

“Yes. Someone might recognize me from when I used to be a detective so it’s better this way, Young-il.” You tease his choice of name, making him scoff and roll his head away—“Are you okay with us knowing each other in there?” You try to make sure to ask, making In-ho turn his head back to face you and give you a rather mean response, but it’s immediate nonetheless.

“I doubt you’ll be able to pretend you don’t know me for too long. You like to talk.”

You scoff. “Excuse me I can seriously act. I was a detective. Decorated at that.”

He nods stiffly as he has to hear you remind him of the same things you like to tell him over and over again.

“And…” you start to say but trail off right away.

In-ho lets his eyes linger on you to wait for what you want to say, but you drop your head and shake it before you dismiss yourself. “Never mind.”

Without stopping you to question you, In-ho probes. “What? Spit it out.”

You let out a deep breath before you hesitantly share your concern. “There’s so many men in there. I know what to expect on a certain night, but…you don’t think that they’ll let them—”

“No,” In-ho cuts you off before you can finish as if he knows what terrifies you.

“Okay,” you mutter as you reach the picture station and miss the way you’re being watched as if already on guard as you step up to get your picture taken.

“Smile,” the camera instructs as you set yourself in front of its view, but you’re far from smiling. You treat it like you’re getting a mugshot instead. And once the light flashes and you’re left blinded for a few seconds, realization finally sets in that what you got yourself into is no easy task. No matter what happens at the end you will have to face consequences like…having to turn on In-ho—but…maybe unlike your father he won’t choose this, these games and the island.

He’s a better person than your father was. He did shoot his brother rather than choosing to go with him, but he didn’t kill him like your father tried to kill you. In-ho is different, so maybe he will turn against the island too.

“You’re not regretting your decision, are you?” In-ho breaks you from your train of thought while you continue toward the player's hall, making you steal a glance at him and shake your head.

“No. Besides,” you mention and look ahead “there’s nowhere to go but ahead, right?”

“Well that’s not true,” he argues. “You can always turn back. There’s still time. My plans don’t rely on you.”

You scoff. “And miss out on the fun?”

In-ho glances at the floor and mutters. “You sound like the old host.”

You gasp as you come to a halt and look at him with disbelief as he’s offended you. “Well. That’s mean.”

In-ho keeps walking without peering back but you know you’ve amused him with your dramatics.

“So you’re saying I’m like a cancer-ridden old man?” You grumble and continue to drag your feet forward.

“Don’t be disrespectful,” he retorts and you roll your eyes before you skip forward to fall at his side. “Now try to blend in,” he adds. “Hide in the bathroom until you hear the players walking by.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you brush him off and don’t take long to come across the bathrooms, so you walk into the women’s bathroom and wait against a sink, choosing to give your back to the door, and the mirror on the wall.

In the silence, while you wait to hear the commotion of the players, you dig your hand in your pocket and pull out a picture of Jun-ho that you chose to bring with you.

There’s no doubt he’s already trying to look for his friend, Player 456. Whatever plan they conjured must be in motion even if they must have no idea how to get to the Island, so that does leave you wondering about him. As selfish as it sounds you think about whether whatever you had is truly over?

If you make it out alive. If you cross paths when this is over will he be able to forgive you and welcome you back to his life? You’re not asking for things to be as they were, you’re asking to work through this obstacle and come out stronger because if you don’t have him then who do you have? If In-ho chooses the Island, if Jun-ho can’t forgive you, and if you make it out alive, who will you have?

You thought you were used to being alone and unwanted, but after missing Jun-ho for three years, and spending two years with In-ho on the Island, you have realized that being alone also terrifies you just as much as the sea, the rivers, and the lakes. And thinking that you might live in solitude scares you more than any deadly game you’re going to play.

Then again if that's the fate you’re meant to live, why fight it? Fate, or whatever god exists, saved you from trying to put an end to that life once so maybe it’s what is meant for you.

In any case, the players finally start to file into the room, so you wait for the crowd to grow before you finally slip out of the bathroom and try to blend in with the crowd, but you accidentally bump into a player.

“Sorry,” you quickly throw out while sparing a glance at them. That’s when you catch that you bumped into player 222. She lived, and as you take her in with your eyes you notice a bulge under her sweater too.

“I’m sorry,” you offer her an apology again while you find a place to hide within the crowd.

“It's okay,” she assures you right away with only a quick glance.

You offer her a thankful nod without adding anything else. You simply spare discreet glances at her and take note of how funny she’s walking too while she’s pressing her belly as if that’s what is making her walk that way…

Is she…pregnant?

She looks so young, and if she is, what is she doing in a place like this? Or why are you assuming she is pregnant…maybe she’s just…in pain from the game and maybe she's always walked that way…

You can’t ask her. Everyone is so shaken up now after living through the first game and you’re supposed to be one of them so you have to be rattled too. However, if anyone really looked into your eyes they would see that you don’t look traumatized like they do so they would know that you’re either crazy or lying.

It’s a good thing no one finds you suspicious then. You’re able to blend in with them and enter the player hall, parting sides with player 222 in the meanwhile, but not losing sight of her. You let your eyes linger on her as the memory of your sister is sparked to life like a match coming to life in a dark room.

When you do eventually lose sight of player 222 in the crowd, you start to search the room for In-ho instead, but there’s so many players walking in that you start to feel desperate and hopeless though. You even go on your tiptoes to try and see every number in hopes you find his, but you can’t find him.

Is this where you start to relive it again?

Alas, just as you start to find a place to sit a hand falls on your shoulder, causing you to come to a quick halt and look back, noticing In-ho. “Hey,” you breathe out with relief.

He drops his hand to his side and points his head to the beds and the stairs where everyone starts to gather. “Let’s find a place to sit,” he says and leads the way to open spaces on some stairs and coincidentally you’re next to player 230, the guy with purple hair, and guilty of pushing others for the fun of it.

“So,” you whisper and lean toward In-ho so he’s the only one who can hear you in the morbidly quiet room. “Did he make it out? Did you find him?”

In-ho snaps his gaze to you and shoots you a piercing look, letting you know to not bring it up again to avoid being caught, so you pull back and assume Player 456 is alive. It would suck if he came and died at the first game while In-ho has all these great plans.

Albeit you can’t stay quiet for long, so you lean back toward him, making him sigh. “I think player 222 is pregnant.”

This time when In-ho looks over at you he doesn’t tell you to shut up with a piercing look, there’s a spark of curiosity in his nonchalance.

“She had a tiny bulge under her sweater and she was walking funny,” you share what you noticed, making him shift in his seat and lean in to whisper back.

“You noticed this in the first five seconds you came across her?” He asks in a judgy tone that you don’t give any importance to. You simply flash him a proud smirk before you nod.

“I mean—”

“Don’t say it,” In-ho cuts you off before you can finish and leans away from you.

You smile and want to laugh so you prop your elbows on your knees and bend over to hide your face in your hands to pretend to be utterly wrecked by the game.

You continue to be like that until you hear the doors open and a wave of fearful gasps fills the room. When you sit up you see that everyone is beginning to freak out over the group of pink guards stomping in and taking command of the room.

“Congratulations for making it through the first game. Here are the results of the first game.” The square guard speaks up like they’re supposed to, and without a second to spare the screen above changes the number of players.

“Out of 456 players, 91 players have been eliminated. Three hundred sixty-five players have completed the first game.”

That’s more than you thought would make it out. You’re surprised but also asking yourself again if it was because of player 456 or just luck.

“Congratulations again for making it through the first game.”

“Sir!” Someone interjects loudly as they show themselves in the middle of the room along with a curly-haired man attached at her side. “Please don’t kill us!” The elderly woman begs and gets on her knees. “Please don’t kill us. I beg you! As for my son's debt, I will do whatever it takes to pay you back! Please forgive us! Don’t just stand there. Beg for his forgiveness.” She cries and pulls her son down to get on his knees with her, but you can’t stand looking at her anymore so you avert your gaze, knowing it won’t help because you can still hear her crying along with her son, but it stings a little less when you’re not looking.

“There seems to be a misunderstanding,” the square guard interjects again, but more people start to crawl forward to ask for the same thing mercy.

“Excuse me,” a voice next to you directs at you, letting you find an excuse to avoid looking at the crowd and instead find the widened eyes of the purple-haired guy next to you.

“Why are you not running out there begging for mercy?” He asks and the skinny guy with longer dark hair pokes out from his side to start gawking too.

“You look like the fragile type.”

You scoff and share an annoyed glance with In-ho before you look back at player 230, noticing his shaky hands and his fidgety leg “Are you?” You ask while the guards try to calm the players down.

“Tsk,” Player 230 huffs and tilts his head up. “I’m capable of protecting you while also playing the next round.”

You look at him nonchalantly and he leans forward, making you reel back.

“Just say the word, my girl.”

You nod and then quip with nonchalance. “I’d rather get stabbed in my uterus again, thank you though.” You flash him a sweet smile and try to turn away as he works through his wounded ego, but then player 124 next to him claps and points at you.

“I know,” he says, making you stiffen. “You’re that missing detective the news likes talking about. I knew I recognized you from somewhere. That’s you, huh?”

You sigh deeply and hum in agreement. “It is, but I’m not missing now am I?” You remark and finally look away so they know not to talk to you anymore and instead focus on the talking guards in front of the room.

“But first,” you pay attention to the guards once again. “Let me announce the prize amount that’s been accumulated.”

The bright lights proceed to turn off and dim yellow lights turn on as the ceiling rumbles and a tube enters the giant pig above your heads, summoning everyone under it like moths to a flame as money starts to accumulate inside. In-ho and you stay where you are while people make their way around you and that fear that held them captive slowly washes away with every dollar they can see.

“The number of players eliminated in the first game is 91. Therefore a total of 9.1 billion won has been accumulated. If you quit the games now, the 365 of you can equally divide the 9.1 billion won and leave with your share.”

“How much is that?” You hear a player ask and you know that what follows is disappointment. Rather than being eager to leave, you’ll hear disappointment.

It’s rather pathetic.

“Each person's share would be 24,931,500 won,” the square guard shares and just as you expected, you hear the pathetic sounds of players being disappointed about the amount of money.

“Twenty million?” You recognize player 230 ask what everyone is wondering. “You said 45.6 billion!”

“The rule is that a hundred million won will be accumulated for each eliminated player,” the square guard clarifies. “If you choose to play the next game and more players get eliminated, the prize amount will increase accordingly.”

“How much will it be if you survive until the end?” A player queries and all you can think about is if he’s stupid. You almost want to repeat what has already been said, but you bite your tongue and remain seated as the same questions get asked. You know them by heart, every variation of it, so you tune it out until finally it comes to vote.

First, the last number goes up first, making that player 456. However, as he makes his way with his head held high, a woman on the highest bed breaks the silence built as every player wants to know whether the first vote would be an X or an O.

“It's all pointless!”

Player 456 comes to a stop and everyone, including you, looks up at the woman.

“You didn’t decide when to come into this world and you can't decide when you leave it either. When and where you die were already decided by the gods the moment you were born. No matter how hard you try, you can never escape it.”

You swallow nervously. You may not be a believer, but there’s something about the way she says it that makes you feel uneasy.

Nonetheless, with nothing to do about it but pass her off as crazy, you watch player 456 press X (as you expected) and be given a patch with the choice he made in order to have everyone stand out and be divided. Not just on the floor but later on too.

After player 456 more and more players cast their vote, with every single one having to wear a patch on their right side and move to their chosen side on the floor. The numbers to stay or leave are never too far apart, making for a very thrilling process.

They all have a choice and the chance to leave with a good amount of money that could help them, but will they give up their greed, or risk their lives?

So far you’re disappointed and rather annoyed that people would choose to risk their lives after what they’ve seen. Even if it meant spoiling your plan, you’re disappointed. And it seems you’re not the only one, after player 230 casts his vote to stay, Player 456 runs to the middle of the room yelling.

“Wait a minute, everyone! You can’t do this. Come to your senses! Don’t you see? These aren’t just any games. We will all die if we keep playing! We have to get out of here now. With a majority vote, we can! We must stop here!”

“Why should we though?!” You speak up in order to play your part and convince the players to stay. “I just risked my life playing this game, why should I go home with just 24 million won after it, huh? Is my life not worth more?”

“What will your life be worth once you’re dead?” Player 456 rebuttals and all eyes dart back to you to hear your response, but alas, someone else counterattacks

“Who do you think you are? Why do you keep egging people on like that?” They demand to know as they push through the crowd that has yet to vote. “You scared us by saying they’d shoot us before the game even began!”

“That’s right!” A lady who already voted speaks up. “He was going on about how we’d die, and I almost did because I got so nervous!”

You roll your eyes in response but also find her accusing player 456 of her mistakes funny.

“How did you know they were going to shoot us?” A third player now joins in the conversation. “Are you one of them?”

“Are you conning us all by pretending to be a player?” The first player who you can now see is player 100, bounces off that question before he barges past player 456 to speak at the guards. “Who is this guy? Did you plant him to mess with our heads?”

There’s no need for that.

“That’s uncalled for,” another player who also already voted cuts in as he walks toward the growing group. “We wouldn’t have won the game and survived if it weren’t for him!” He points at player 456 and a lot of people agree—“And you!” He points at someone else. “I saw how scared you were. Your legs were shaking.”

You snicker.

“You should thank him, not treat him like a fraud!”

“And who the hell are you?” They snap back. “Are you conspiring with him?”

“Rude. How old are you?”

“Older than you. What are you going to do? What?”

“Come on now!” You see the same old lady from before joining them too. “Please don’t do this. Listen. None of us would be alive if it weren’t for this gentleman.” She points to player 456. “So enough with greed. Let’s put our lives first and get out of this place! Okay?”

More and more people now start giving their opinion. Each one speaking over the other and creating a ruckus that raises the already sensitive tension in the room. You assume the guards will finally put an end to this dread, but alas, Player 456 shouts and makes the room go quiet.

“I have played these games before! I have done this before! I had known about the first game because I had played it before!”

You pass In-ho a surprised look, but he keeps his eyes on player 456.

“I played the games here three years ago!” Said player continues. “And everyone with me…died here!”

Murmurs and gasps pass throughout the crowd before questions are asked.

“No way. If they all died, how did you survive alone? Wait, are you saying you were the sole winner?”

There’s a second of silence before player 456 responds. “That’s right. I was the final winner.”

The murmurs grow louder and you have the nerve to speak up against him, but he goes on. “If we continue the games, every single person here, just like all the people back then, will die in the end.”

“Bullshit,” Player 100 counters him. “If you were the sole winner, it means you won 45.6 billion won. If you really did, why would you come back here?” He asks and more people speak up against player 456, calling him a liar, so you interject too to fan the flames of greed.

“He might not be a liar. He won before and came back. What's keeping us from winning too?”

“She’s right,” Player 230 says after you as he walks toward the group in the middle. “If you really won, it actually works better for us. You can give us tips on how to beat these games.”

“That’s right!” Player 100 interjects again. “We have a previous winner with us, so what do we have to worry about? Come on, let's do this!” He shouts and people start to agree with him, but again Player 456 tries to insist only this time the guards aren’t taking it. Without warning a triangle guard starts to make his way through the crowd too.

“Players, I’m begging you. We have to get out now! If we keep playing, more people will die. That could be you. We have to stop this now and get out of here.”

Finally, the guard reaches player 456, bringing him to a sudden stop.

“From here on,” the square guard speaks up at long last. “We will not tolerate actions that disrupt the voting process. Now, let’s resume the vote.”

With player 456 back in his place and everyone else who fell out of line back where they’re meant to be, the voting process continues with both sides rising and neither one dwindling and showing off an obvious winner. The tying numbers could mean that what Player 456 had to say affected their choice or they heard and didn’t care. Either way, the numbers are close and when it’s finally down to you, the tension is incredibly high as it falls to 182-181.

You can either make a tie or give those who want to leave the chance to do so regardless of what In-ho will choose.

Alas, as sorry as you are. As much mercy as you do want to show those who want to leave. Your plan depends on the games to go on. Even if it means damming them.

“Player 002.”

You take a deep breath and without looking at In-ho you stride down the middle, feeling every pair of eyes on you as you make it to the box.

Each team does try to persuade you to pick them, but neither side affects your cemented choice, so you raise your hand from your side, and without hesitation, you make a tie by picking O.

Cheering as well as disappointment booms while you take your patch and stick it on your right side before you make your way to the side you chose.

“Lastly player 001,” the guard makes his final announcement and again the shouts of persuasion blares through the room, but much like you, his mind is made, so after some pretend hesitation that creates a thick tension, In-ho breaks the tie by clicking O, forcing everyone to stay for another round.

——

*LATER*

“Thanks,” you direct at the pink guard after they handed you the food for the day, letting you get out of line quickly and try to find somewhere to sit or someone to talk to. Not just for the sake of your plan, but because you genuinely want to talk to someone.

Yet when you pass the line of players waiting to get their food, you see everyone eating at their beds or some free space they could find. Some are already talking to someone, while others don’t seem to mind being by their lonesome. In any case, the room full of strangers intimidates you, dimming that need to go up to someone. And it wouldn’t be the first time.

It happens frequently in bigger social settings. It explains your lack of friends, and it’s not that you’re shy or hate people. You're just hesitant and cautious. Too many people you love have died, and some others have hurt you for you to be any other way, so like you’ve done before, you avoid the crowds and go sit against a wall covered by the shadows of the room to eat your food.

After a few bites in footsteps approach and as you’re going to look up, In-ho identifies himself. “Where is he?”

You meet his gaze and raise your eyebrow while you chew fast, making him press his impatient gaze into you.

“Who?” You ask once you've swallowed.

“Player 456,” he reveals and honestly, yeah, you should’ve known he was going to ask that.

“Oh. I don’t know, I’ve been eating. I was hungry.”

In-ho rolls his eyes. “Well if you hadn’t acted like a teenager in the morning you would’ve gotten to eat breakfast.”

You chuckle and look at his closed container. “You’re not going to eat?” You probe and scoot down to make room for him. “You should. It’ll be a while before we eat again.”

In-ho sighs and chooses to sit across from you instead without trying to open his container. “I’m not hungry. Do you want it?”

You hold his gaze and shake your head before you point at him with your utensil. “Eat, man.”

In-ho doesn’t appreciate your word usage, but as if persuaded by your push he crosses his legs on the floor and opens his container to start eating along with you, there, in some secluded corner covered by the shadows of the room.

Silence is far from attainable surrounded by more than three hundred players stuck in the same room, but that comfort you usually feel together is accompanying you.

“What you said during the voting process,” In-ho breaks his silence, making your eyes flicker to him but focus back on your food. “It was smart.”

You falter with surprise and find yourself slowly lifting your eyes to look at him with that same surprise still painted on your face.

“Do you believe it?” He queries, causing you to look down quickly and grow tense. “What you said about yourself?”

You scoff and part your lips, but you can’t muster anything right away. Which is a mistake on your part, you don’t want him to look too deeply into your battered soul.

“Of course not,” you rebuttal and scrape up more rice. “I felt like I needed to say something to play my part. That’s all.”

In-ho’s eyes linger on you as you look at your food hoping he won’t dig too deep, but maybe you’ve been too intertwined already because he can read you like an open book.

“What is your part?” He probes without touching on the matter he had started with. “What do you truly gain out of playing?”

You set your container down along with your utensil and rub your hands on your thighs as you finish chewing the last bite of your food and get ready to offer him a practiced response.

Thankfully though, a person wanders over to an empty bed, interrupting your private moment.

“I’m done. We can go now.” You avoid the question and collect your things before you get up. “Are you done? I can throw it away and catch up with you.”

In-ho follows you up and hands you his barely eaten food, letting you walk off before he can interrogate you further.

He probably won’t pester you about it later because thankfully he’s not like his brother in that aspect. If he was, what would you have said? No matter how memorized you have your practiced response, would he have believed you when you said that you want to know what every player feels as a result of the games your father betrayed you for? Or that you want to prove your dead father something by winning game after game?

It’s hard to know but either way, you’re glad he didn’t get to hear it.

Now, after dumping the trash at one end of the room, you find In-ho approaching player 456 at the opposite end with people swarming around him as if taking advantage that he’s brave enough to approach a previous winner.

You join the group too, but don’t stay in the back, you push through the gathered crowd to fall by In-ho’s side.

“…You said you’ve played these games,” you catch In-ho tell Player 456. “I pressed the O button because of you.”

Player 456 snaps his head up with surprise in response to what In-ho says before he continues.

“Honestly, I was scared, I wanted to quit and leave. But you made me think maybe I could play just one more game.”

People behind you and In-ho agree whilst you ascend one metal step to get closer to the infamous player. “Same here,” you lie, gaining the man’s attention. “I mean if you made it out what’s stopping me from doing the same and making this all worth it?”

Player 456 sighs and drops his head without adding anything, making In-ho step forward to continue. “Sir. You know which games next, don’t you?” He probes.

“That’s right,” the player sitting next to player 456 says. “You’re a previous winner, so you should know. What are we playing next?”

Without hesitation, Player 456 offers his response. “The second game was Dalgona.”

After he gives his response you’re startled as a player on a bunk above your heads drags himself to the end of the bed to include himself in the conversation. “Dalgona?” He says and you look up at him, seeing that he’s player 388. “The sugar candy with a snape you can carve out?”

“That’s right,” Player 456 confirms. “We had to choose one of our four shapes and carve it out.

“Four shapes?” Player 390, next to him chimes in. “Which was the easiest one?”

“Triangle.”

You scoff softly and look down.

“Which was the hardest one?” Player 390 asks now.

“Umbrella.”

You snicker while In-ho pretends to be shocked. “Umbrella? Some people chose Umbrella?” He scoffs. “Those unlucky bastards must have bitten the dust.”

Player 456 holds his gaze for a moment and one of his eyebrows rises before he looks away and player 388 interjects.

“So that means we should all just pick triangle. Everyone could probably pass the round.”

“The umbrella is not that hard,” you offer some consolation, gaining the attention of player 388 along with a question.

“Is that so?”

You grab the metal pillar of his bed and look up at him with a hint of cockiness. “It is. I would compete with my brother too to see who could carve out the shape first. I would pick the umbrella all the time and win. It’s all about licking the candy until it’s thin and soft enough to carve out.”

Player 388 scoffs with an impressed look on his face. “Well then maybe I’ll have to copy your technique.”

You nod and offer him a smile. “Just don’t blame me if you can’t make it work.”

Player 388 flashes you a smile. “I’m sure I will if you’re here to tell us.”

You part your lips but before you can say anything a voice interrupts you before someone pushes you against the bed as they barge themself between you and In-ho. “Hush now!”

You scowl at the player and realize it’s none other than player 100.

“If all 365 of us survive, the prize money won’t go up at all,” he argues. “Then we’ll have risked our lives again for nothing.”

With no surprise whatsoever people agree with the stinky old man.

“Listen,” Player 100 whispers. “We should probably keep this information to ourselves. What do you say?”

People around you agree, but you’re about to rebuttal. However, player 456 cuts in. “We can’t do that. I’m telling you this to save everyone’s lives. If it’s confirmed that the next game is Dalgona, I’m going to tell everyone what I know.”

Player 100 scoffs in protest before he storms off, taking the crowd with him except for In-ho and you.

“So which shape did you pick?” Player 390 asks, but gets no response, making you assume that he picked the hardest shape.

You could’ve known since there’s recordings of previous games, but alas, no matter what In-ho said you did not do any studying on player 456.

“So, player 002,” you hear 388 direct you, making you crane your neck to look up at him—“Is what you said true? Is it really that easy?”

You snicker and walk up to stand higher up so you don’t have to keep hurting your neck, and he follows your every moment by turning around on his bed to keep holding your gaze. “It is. My brother would get too impatient so it would never work for him, but I always made it work.”

He hums and adds a quiet comment. “I should have thought about that.”

“It’s okay,” you retort lightheartedly. “You’ll get it next time.”

“Well, hopefully, it is that easy. What if it’s an impossible shape, or worse, a difficult game.”

“Well,” you sigh. “We just played red light, green light, a kid's game. We should hope they’re all kid's games. I mean just look at this room.”

Player 388 looks around and nods softly. “Look at that. I didn’t even realize. Nice observation.”

The corner of your lips lifts to offer him a faint half-smile before your lips fall as he drags himself closer to the edge of his bed and narrows his eyes on you. “This might sound crazy or maybe rude, but…”

You swallow thickly and glance nervously at In-ho before looking back at player 388.

“…do I know you?”

You blink repeatedly and slowly let out a small breath of relief. “I don’t think so. I’m sure I would know if I knew you.”

He hums softly and gently shakes his head. “You just seem oddly familiar.”

The corner of your lips lifts and you step forward to tease him. “Is that so? Maybe I’m famous.”

He snorts. “If you were, I would know. Trust me. You’re…” he pauses and bats his eyes while you raise your eyebrow to press him.

“My sisters follow the celebrity life. They would have mentioned you.” He doesn’t say what he started off saying, so you can't help but smile shyly at your feet.

“May I ask you something,” In-ho speaks up and when you look over you see him addressing Player 456 as he sits below Player 390 –“why did you come back to this place? You said you won and made it out. Then you must have received 45.6 billion. Did you spend it all?”

“Did you bet on horses again?” Player 390 remarks, making you assume they’re familiar with each other.

“That money doesn’t belong to me,” Player 456 argues. “It’s blood money for the people who died here. The same goes for the money up there.” He points to the piggy bank above.

“You don’t have to think of it that way,” In-ho tries to contest him. “It’s not like you killed those people, and saving that money won’t bring them back to life.”

“If you had pressed the X,” Player 456 quickly snaps. “Everyone here would’ve made it out alive.”

In-ho nods. “That’s right. I was the last to press the O button. But there were 182 more people who wanted to stay.”

“And there were also 182 people who wanted to leave,” player 456 counters, and In-ho doesn’t give up either.

“Let’s say I pressed X and we all left. Would everyone have been happy? Do you think if they ran into me later, they’d thank me for saving their lives and tell me they’re happy now?”

Player 456 sighs while his eyes remain on In-ho. You can’t see if he seems defeated or not because you’re behind him, but you know he wouldn't have quit if it wasn’t for his friend jumping in between the two men.

“All right. There’s no point in placing blame now. You know the saying goes, a widow understands a widower best. Let’s focus on tomorrow's game, okay?”

You nod. “He’s right,” you agree as you lean against the bed. “The choice has been made too. There’s no point in arguing. The best thing to do is work together and try to make it out. I mean player 456 has won before. That means you can help us make it out, sir.”

“She’s right, sirs,” Player 388 says before he jumps down from his bed and exhales loudly after drinking the rest of his water. “We have to stick together. I’ll be with you all the way.”

“Who are you?” Player 390 quickly probes.

“My good sir,” Player 388 exclaims and walks over to be in the center of the group. “I’m Dae-ho.” He points at himself. “Kang Dae-ho.”

Said man puts his hands out to offer them to 390 first, but the man just leaves him hanging as he presses him. “Oh, Mr. Dae-ho.”

“Yes.”

“Have we met?” Player 390 asks, making Dae-ho chuckle awkwardly before he points to Player 456 and drops his hands to the side.

“Earlier during the game Mr. 456 here was like, Freeze!” He mimics him with the arm gesture and everything. “And I became his fan. I'd like to get to know you, sirs…and lady.” He lastly directs at you before once again addressing the whole group. “Please give me the chance!” He bows.

Player 390 gets up and starts to walk down the stairs whilst Dae-ho continues to praise Player 456.

“Freeze! That was so cool.”

You can’t help but smile with amusement. In-ho catches you and you notice him judge you for finding something so silly amusing, so you look away from him and smile wider whilst Player 390 approaches Dae-ho.

“Hang on!”

“Yes, sir?”

You look over and see Player 390 lifting up Dae-ho’s sleeve to show off the Marine’s tattoo on his arm.

“You were in the Marines?” The man asks and Dae-ho responds.

“Yes, why?”

“Class number?”

Dae-ho chuckles and Player 390 takes his sweater off to roll up his sleeve and show off the same tattoo Dae-ho has on his arm, making the young man straighten up and exclaim with a salute. “Victory at all costs! I was in class 1140, sir!”

You watch with confusion whilst Player 390 proceeds to salute back. “At ease!” He assures Dae-ho. “Dae-ho! I knew there was something about you.” He says and smacks his arm playfully making Dae-ho shout.

“Sir!”

“Class 746 here. Let’s make a good team.” Player 390 says and Dae-ho responds loudly again.

“I won’t let you down!”

Player 390 laughs and smacks Dae-ho’s arm again, making him exclaim again and again as they keep repeating the same silly process.

“You’re full of spirit!” Player 390 muses.

You find it all silly but maybe that’s why you feel yourself smiling at the interaction.

“Excuse me,” someone behind you says as they tap your shoulder, making you move aside without looking back to make room for them to pass.

Yet just as you expect to see them pass by, suddenly something slimy is smashed on your head, causing you to gasp, and making Dae-ho and Player 390 go quiet and still as they watch the scene unfold.

“What the hell?” You remark, making In-ho and Player 456 look back to follow the commotion.

“Pigs like scraps don’t they?” The person counters and finally walks by with a snarky smirk on her face.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Player 390 remarks but the woman ignores him while she rubs the sticky rice off her palms.

“It’s okay, she obviously has something to say,” you grumble as you step down one step.

“What?” The woman quips. “You don’t remember me? Then again I can’t say I’m surprised when all you would do is look for people to lock away.”

Dae-ho gasps behind the woman but doesn’t add to the matter, instead, he backs up while you pierce a fierce scowl on the bold woman.

“My friend got life in prison because of you. And I got five years and a lifetime of debt.”

The corner of your lips twitch up, making the woman falter but not stand down so you step closer and snap back nonchalantly. “Well, maybe you and your friend deserve it.” You snicker and flash her a malicious smile that triggers her and makes her want to tackle you, but In-ho is quick to get in the middle and stop her as he catches her intent.

“Enough. Leave her be,” In-ho interjects nonchalantly, but with his chest puffed out and his hand back to keep you back. “She’s here and so are you. Now move along and behave like an adult.”

You hold the woman’s gaze and let your smirk deepen, aggravating her more, but In-ho pushes her back by walking forward so she ends up walking off, leaving an awkward air in the group.

“Are you okay?” Dae-ho is the first and only one to ask you.

“Yeah,” you nod. “It’s okay. I expected something like this would happen.” You sigh and wipe off the chunk of rice the woman had smashed on your head. “I’ll be back.”

You groan and before you can walk off, In-ho turns around and you meet his gaze, but he doesn’t say anything. His eyes find the pieces of rice still stuck to your head and then meets your gaze again nonchalantly before he moves to the side to let you pass.

Thankfully, you’re able to access the restrooms so you go in and try to wash off the stragglers still stuck to you.

Honestly, if someone were to ask if the woman offended you, you would say no. First, because you’ve been called a pig more times than you can count. And second, you felt a thrill provoking that woman knowing where you really stand on this Island, and knowing what to expect from these games while she doesn’t.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” You breathe out and pull the last grain of rice off your head as you look over and catch player 222 at the sink next to yours.

You had been so focused on your own business that you didn’t check if there was someone else in the bathroom.

“Oh. Yeah,” you let her know as you turn the faucet on to wash your hands. “Some bitch thought we were back in the school playard and smashed rice on my head. It’s whatever,” you sigh and discreetly check her out, realizing that her belly is way more prominent now. “I’m used to it. I was a detective.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” she says before she points to your shoulder. “You still have some.”

You chuckle awkwardly and flick the rice off your shoulder before you retort. “It's cool until you get rice smashed on your face.”

Player 222 scoffs with a hint of amusement and you take this time to study her face now that you’re face to face and not behind a screen. And yes, what you saw was right. She does carry the same gentleness your sister did.

“Are you…okay?” You now redirect at her as her pregnancy is actually obvious.

Player 222 glances at her belly and grabs it before she nods stiffly. “I’m alright. Thanks.”

You offer a small smile and keep your eyes on her face as if hoping she would fuse into your sister.

“Well if someone gives you shit, find me,” you tell her with no ill intent, just sincerity. “Or if anything hurts. I can help with that too. I’m player 002,” you share along with your name.

She gently bows her head and offers you a rather timid smile. “Thank you,” she mutters.

You offer her a wider smile before you walk out with her trailing behind you since she was done too. When you return to the player hall though, there in the center is a group of men fighting, and one happens to be In-ho.

Albeit In-ho seems to be winning the fight with the way neither Player 124 nor Player 333 is trying to counterattack or stop him as he kicks Player 230 down on his back.

After that instead of letting Player 230 go as he drags himself away, In-ho grabs him by the throat and reels his fist back, threatening to punch him. However, his fist never goes down nor does he let go. He keeps holding player 230 by the throat for a tense-filled minute before finally releasing his grasp from the player's throat, earning thunderous applause and praises.

You watch him offer the crowd an awkward smile and an awkward head bow before he walks away. You wait for the commotion to die down before you break into a little jog to catch up to him.

“Hey,” you catch his attention. “What just happened? You got into a fight?”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Some punks were fighting so I stopped them.”

You click your tongue. “Damn. I missed it.”

He sighs and you have the intention to thank him for standing up for you. You really should thank him, but rather than doing so, you watch him as if lingering stares would say the words you need to tell him.

And he’s no different. Days are short here when the games are done for the day and when the people in control don’t have something up their sleeve, so bedtime comes soon after dinner. And it’s when everyone’s in bed asleep that all these words come to In-ho’s mind. Words he intended to share with you, but you fell asleep after lacking sleep after a previous restless night, so he used that as an excuse not to tell you a thing.

Instead, he kept watch. While you caught sleep and drifted into a deeper slumber, he looked out for those lurkers that you had told him you were worried about before. And it’s while he kept watch when he couldn’t help his eyes from lingering on you as he wondered again why you bothered to risk your life playing these games.

Are you looking for a swift death? Is that what you want? He wonders as he looks at the scar above your ear because that scar was self-inflicted. Was it not?

So are you looking to get yourself killed here? Don’t you not have more to live for?

Or are you alike?

.

.

.

.

A/N- ☹️

[matan4il]

Buddie 610 meta

Holy shit, this ep.

Okay, what shall we start with? Maybe with what 911 itself starts, lots of foreshadowing. At the beach call, we have Eddie looking at Buck and replying to him (about the lightning), “I really hope it doesn’t strike twice, though.” Which, of course we know it will. But the foreshadowing continues, as Buck talks to Omar about unexpected things in life coming out of nowhere. That suggests we need to pay extra attention to other elements in this ep that might act as foreshadowing for later events along 6b. ~~

That kind of connects to me with Buck being closely tied to Ely, the pregnant lady (he saves the day there twice, first by realizing the oil is dripping and if they use the saw, it might prove fatal, then by helping Bobby with the baby). First off, it made me chuckle when we learned that, despite being driven to the hospital by a man, he’s actually not her partner. 911 made sure we knew Ely has a wife, and that she has another kid with her. Is it a coincidence when Buck, who practically has a husband and a kid with him already, is the main firefighter taking care of her? Maybe, but it still amused me. What really made me take note is when he told her not to push, trying to stall her childbirth, and she replied that it doesn’t depend on her. That made me wonder if perhaps this is also in a way foreshadowing what we might end up seeing with the sperm donation storyline. I’m not sure, I can’t be, but I was not surprised to see that storyline brought up later in the ep. ~~

In general, this ep’s title, “In a Flash,” might seem to refer to the lightning storm the team experiences, but the real tempest is the havoc our families can wreak on us, tied to the unexpected nature change can sometimes take on. Chim’s dad suddenly shows up, raining on his parade. Albert suddenly thinks Chim should give their dad a chance to be Jee Yun’s grandpa, but decides against giving his brother a warning. The Buckley parents are suddenly making an effort, yet leaving everyone suspicious and unnerved. Albert suddenly leaks Buck’s sperm donation to everyone and unleashes hell between the in-laws. Denny’s changes, probably influenced by getting in touch with his dad, come as a surprise to Hen. And of course, at the climax of the ep, Bobby as the unofficial adoptive father of Buck might lose his son in a flash. The whole ep is filled with these parallels of abrupt familial disquiet, especially in relation to dads, on all 118 fronts. And as Buck deals with maybe the biggest of these questions, because he doesn’t even yet know what he wants for himself and how does the life he helped create (but only as a donor) fit into that, it’s no wonder his life ends up hanging literally in the balance. ~~

One of the most painful things in this ep for me was seeing how much Buck’s parents are willing to accept him as a donor, because not for a second do they think he can be a father. That would be the natural conclusion from him looking at a sonogram on his phone, but his parents find it easier to believe their daughter is pregnant again than to think Buck would be a dad (ironic, because he already is one. Just not to the baby in the sonogram). It reminded me of how Eddie’s parents also didn’t believe in his ability to be a dad, and actively petitioned to have Chris taken from him to be raised by them in 315. It amazes me every time anew just how much Buddie are compatible, because their stories parallel so much that they can understand each other in ways most other people can’t. ~~

And it gets to me that this whole episode also insists on reminding us how good Buck is with kids, first with the ones on the beach, calming them down and answering their questions to help them make sense of the whole ordeal. Then with Ely’s baby, a callback to how we saw him with the pipe baby in 101. It connects to him looking at the baby sonogram, all excited, once again acting so much like an expectant dad would (parallel to him and the firefighter onesie in 609), when we know he’s not actually going to be that baby’s father. It very much does feel like 911 is signaling to us Buck has some realizations coming his way in this context. ~~

Speaking of the kids on the beach, Buck telling the boy he wants to fix everything, then adding that Buck gets it, had me screaming into my fists, because hey, remember who said that to Buck? That’s right, his Eddie, back in 504. A reminder of how much Eddie sees Buck, accepts him and allows him to be himself, enabling Buck in turn to reflect that back to that kid. Of course, in the context of the sperm donation, Buck’s tendency made him want to help “fix” things for Connor and Kameron, and we might learn in 6b that Buck comes to realize he sometimes lets this tendency take him to places that aren’t actually good for him, without fully considering the consequences, and then hopefully, he’ll get to find a way to balance this, to be himself, but not derailed from his life goals by this part of himself. ~~

At the same time that the ep shows us how good Buck is with kids, it also serves to remind us of the one kid that we’ve seen him co-parent all along, the one who has always demonstrated what a good, loving dad Buck is, Christopher. Yes, when we see Buck working on his cooking with Bobby, it’s a part of the many parallels revolving around dads in this ep, so Buck and Bobby’s r/s is the immediate focus, but at the same time, we know who Buck is learning this FOR. Lazania kitchen scene from 601, anyone? Oh, but the best part? It’s when Buck tells Bobby, “Something’s missing.” He can’t quite put the finger on what, but he knows something in his domesticity isn’t fully there. I wonder what, Buck... And this is again in an ep full of foreshadowing! ~~

It may seem like a minor thing, but remember how in my past meta, I was more or less losing it over the many times Buck and Eddie did rope rescues together as their own team within the 118 team, even having their assigned roles where Eddie connects Buck to the line and then becomes an anchor himself to keep Buck safe, to the point where I wrote a smut fic involving this very meaningful act? Yeah, so imagine me seeing that the most intense Buddie call we’ve had since the end of 413 starts with them doing this subtextually intimate thing, Eddie hooking Buck up to the rope, becoming his literal life line, and even teasingly calling him “cowboy” while at it. No, I was not breathing for a full minute at least. ~~

But since I brought up the shooting in 413, can we talk about the insanity of the parallels? Take the meaningful staring once disaster strikes. Back in s4, it was mutual, right before Eddie collapsed. In 610, Buck is unconscious, so you wouldn’t think they could stare at each other at this moment, right? Plus, back in 413, it was just the two of them present at the scene out of the 118, the other members of the team weren’t there. The lightning strike seems a lot less intimate in comparison... But in this ep, the camera plays a role in recreating that same dynamic, singling out the connection between Buddie. Because when Buck is hit by lightning, we get shots of every 118 member looking up and being terrified of what just happened to their friend.

The only exception in terms of this shot? Eddie. He’s the only one that isn’t being filmed from the side as he looks up, he’s filmed from above as he looks straight into the camera. Essentially, the shot recreates Buck’s POV for Eddie, and for him alone. It shows us what Buck would see and how he would stare down, back at Eddie, if he only could. The fact that the camera has to do this instead of Buck himself further emphasizes the horror of Buck being unconscious, but the choice to do this only with Eddie highlights their connection and makes it clear that Buddie’s bond IS different to what the other team members have with Buck, no matter how close the others are to him or how much they love him. What’s insane is that DESPITE having all of the 118 there, there is still a bubble within this whole situation that is Buddie and Buddie’s alone, even as Buck himself is unconscious. It’s no wonder Eddie jumps up that electrocuted ladder without even thinking about it, it’s no wonder no one even tries to stop him or warn him of the danger in that. That is a man on a mission to save the other half of him, and the show tells us that in more than one way.

That’s gonna continue through Eddie’s attempts (and eventual success) in getting Buck away from immediate danger, as well as when the team tries but then fails to revive Buck, because Eddie will be the one to push past Bobby to see Buck, and Eddie will be the one Bobby has to keep in line by assigning him driving duty, maybe the most important thing anyone can do for Buck once all the medical assistance they can give him in the field is of no further use. ~~

One more thing regarding the comparison with the shooting arc in s4, as well as talking about camera shots, is that we get to see the difference between a platonic friend resuscitating his teammate and a man desperately trying to keep the love of his life alive. If you look at Chim doing compressions on Buck, he’s giving it his all, because he DOES love Buck, Chim’s doing his best for his friend and brother in law. But the shot is not an intimate one, we don’t get close ups, we don’t get to focus on the eyes and see the frantic look of a man who knows he CAN’T fail, we don’t see the intimate touch of a hand laying a gauze on an exposed chest and trying to keep this treasured body together, we do get “come on, Buck,” but we don’t get personal speech, begging the other man to hold on and just “stay with me.” While back in 414, in the ambulance, we had ALL of those as Buck, almost on the verge of losing his sanity, fought for Eddie’s life. ~~

Lastly, I’ve made in the past a gifset of times when we’ve seen Buck screaming Eddie’s name in horror at the face of danger (including in 413), and I love that we can finally add to that Eddie doing the same thing for Buck. But I think it’s particularly meaningful that it happened not as a matter of when Buck would be in danger, but rather it was a question of just how significant Buck had to become to Eddie for this former, highly decorated soldier to go from the stoic man he was in 218 to what we see in 610 (as seen in my latest weekly gifset). Because Eddie WAS incredibly worried back in the s2 finale. He was gritting his teeth, you can see the tension on his face, and the second it was safe, he sprang to Buck’s side. Eddie also held on to him while everyone else was lifting the truck (even though Chim, as a medic, would have been a more natural choice to hold on to Buck, while Eddie the firefighter helps lift engine 118). And Eddie wouldn’t even let go of Buck’s hand on the way to the truck. HE WAS DISTRAUGHT. But the man who kept his facade up in the hospital after Shannon, his wife and mother of his son, died just one ep earlier, did the same thing with Buck. What I find so telling is that he can no longer do that by 610. Buck has become such an integral part of his life, of his family, of who Eddie is as a person and how he deals with life, way more than even Shannon managed to be. And that’s why Eddie loses it, confirming what we’ve known for a while: Buddie are life partners. ~~

I now have direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Loads of love to @whosoldherout​​ for making unbelievable gifs for my very unique requests. You’re a star! Tag list will follow in the reblog. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on 1.5 hours of sleep to get this posted ASAP, so I really appreciate any and all encouragement to keep doing this. xoxox

[shhrrroooommmmmyyyyyy]

HB Generational Trauma: Paimon → Stolas

→ Octavia

*Before I get attacked, nothing I say is to defend the actions described. I am simply trying to explain and make sense of it.*

Many fans approach the topic of Stolas being a good or bad father with either black and white-good or bad or completely gray answers. The black and white are pretty straightforward, usually going something like "he says this but does this anyway" or "he's neglectful", which are all valid opinions here. As well as the gray opinions, usually saying "he really tries, he just doesn't get it right".

Honesty, I can't say I disagree with any of these opinions honestly. I don't have evidence to back this up, but I have a feeling I know where the writers are going with this. I think they will, maybe sometime soon after hearing via's line in the trailer, have Stolas sort of "wake up" in a sense and realize what exactly he does. Get hit by the good ol' self awareness train, if you will. It's called character development.

I've seen many people call this bad writing but I disagree. I think that's the direction they're going for Stolas's character development. I think with the episodes so spread out, people forget we're only three episodes away from only being halfway through the series as a whole. There's still plenty of room for development.

Anyways, back on topic. Let's look at Paimon and Stolas from the Circus episode. I love the Loo Loo Land parallel with it.

Paimon enjoying himself from home while Stolas is miserable and clearly doesn't want to be there. The only thing that gets him through it without crashing out is Blitzø. Paimon seems to not notice he's even there at all until he starts enjoying himself watching Blitzø. And when he figures out what's making him so happy, he literally buys Blitzø later to keep himself from having to deal with him all day. Of course Stolas is too oblivious and distracted by Blitzø to realize, but that makes complete sense seeing how oblivious he is as an adult.

So now let's look at Stolas and Octavia in the Loo Loo Land episode.

Stolas is enjoying himself, but actually present. Him actually being there is an improvement; however, Octavia's not enjoying herself. She already didn't want to go because she was too old to enjoy it. And on top of that, Stolas flirting with Blitzø the whole time made her uncomfortable (which he was also too oblivious to realize).

I think the parallels here are interesting. Overall I think the writers ave done an excellent job of writing generational trauma, hence the title of this post. Now let's look at Stolas' line from Western Energy:

This line made a slight change in their dynamic from my perspective. It's clear he loves her and would do anything to protect her. Much different from Paimon. I think he tries so hard to be better than Paimon that he subconsciously ends up doing what Paimon does. This is called the ironic process theory or ironic rebound (psychology nerd here, as you can tell). However, the difference between him and Paimon is that he apologizes and recognizes that he made a mistake. He's trying. And even so, what examples of a good dad would he have had growing up that would've guided him in the right direction?

Although he keeps making mistakes, he is still trying. He's not prefect. I think Via knows this; nevertheless, it's hard for her not to get frustrated at him for making them sometimes. Especially when he promised he would do something with her and didn't in Seeing Stars.

No matter the extremity of the efforts made toward doing so, generational trauma will never be completely healed in one generation (look at me using smart words). While Stolas has made a pretty big dent in the healing process, it takes more than one person to erase the trauma. Although Via is as far as the line will go with her being confirmed asexual, I think Stolas has done a lot more for Via than people realize.

I have a few notes about Blitz and Loona on this topic as well. I might wait till after Ghostfuckers in case it gives more info to put in that post

[judasgot-it]

Kaldo x Reader - Can I kiss you?

Side note - WHEN IS HE GETTING HIS ANIME EPISODES are not ENOUGH IMAGES OF HIM OMG

word count - 1.5 k

It first started when you were paired up for potions class, paired up with the mysterious boy from the powerful Ghenna family.

You heard a lot about him, how he was excellent with fire magic - how he was guranteed the position of the Fire Cane, just like his mother before him had. Everyone had known this about him though, he wasn't exactly hard to spot, with his rather noteable hairstyle and weird hobby of carrying a giant sword with him.

“So, is it true that you put honey on your sushi?”

His face stayed concentrated, trying to remain hard at the task at hand - his hand expertly waving his wand as if he had done this spell thousands of times before. He probably had, considering his lineage and all. You didn't even bother to participate, seeing as he had rather handled it all himself.

“Where did you hear that?” His voice was deep for you would have thought, rather smoothe and thick than what his stature gave the impression of. Kind of like honey. Ironic.

“I heard it from your roommate. But do you?“ You had taken your nails and started to draw simple patterns on the desk, making little animals made of light that danced along the wood. They entertained you in the lieu of the awkward silence.

”So what if I do? It's not weird.“

He had mumbled the last word, his closed eyelids twitching as he somehow watched your 'group project' bubble over into a perfect reaction. It was an easy A, wasn't it.

“No, it's not. I think it's kind of cute how sweet you like everything, actually.”

You had gone back to watching your little light animals dance around each other, too distracted too see how Kaldo's face flushed. That had been the first time he had heard himself be called 'cute' let alone his 'weird' eating habits.

It was something about being called that, in his mind, would never be replacable.

-

After that project, what you had once known as the rather intimidating 'kid from the Ghenna family' had become some weird shadow that wouldn't leave your side no matter what you did.

Even when he became the Fire Cane, or when you had both graduated - he hadn't ever left your side, running back to you every moment he could.

He was still cute, drenching his sushi in honey every chance he got. Although now he was half a foot taller and had a new outfit, it still made you giggle watching him eat with honey smeared all over his face.

“Kaldo, you kind of look like a cute bear.” Reaching over, you wiped the honey off of his face with your thumb, giving it a taste yourself. It was strangly salty as well, although that was probably blamed by the mixed-in soy sauce.

”Wh' d' m'een k'nd 'f?“ Whatever Kaldo had said, you didn't understand a word of it. Simply nodding, you went and took a sip of your water, watching as he had no trouble swallowing the swathes of honey and bits of fish in his mouth.

“You know, Y/n - you've always called me cute.“

He was serious, facing his entire body towards you. His posture was relaxed, although you've known him long enough to see how his eyebrows crinkled in a sort of nervous tension.

“Do you ever…mean, anything by that?“

The pearl haired man swallowed nervously after saying this, trying to stay calm as his eyes watched for your reaction. You simply blinked back, taking all of him in at the moment.

The Fire Cane, one of the most powerful magic users in the continent, was torn to shreds by flirting. His face said it all to you.

”Kaldo, what do you think I mean by it.“

He looked down to his plate as if it was the most interesting thing in the world - as if the well dead fish had miraculously could answer for him.

“Um. I don't know, it's why I asked. I've been wondering, it just seems, you know…“

”You know? What?“ A smirk pulled across your face as Kaldo struggled to say the word out loud. Romantic. Like a child who just learned a naughty word and was too scared to hear it out loud.

Maybe you should go easy on him, though. Afterall, you did like him. Even if he was taken down so easily by mere words, it seemed. And had more than strange tastes.

”I'm flirting with you. I've been doing it since highschool, actually. Did you just notice?”

The great Fire Cane himself had curled into himself, his tall figure trying to hide into bar seat as best as he could. It didn't work, but seeing a peak of his bright red face and mock of white hair was more than entertaining for you.

It took him a while to bring his composure back, his face still flushed and his posture still taught as he looked down at you. Hard to believe he could be embarrassed so easily.

”So does that mean you like me?“

”I thought it was obvious. Do let anyone else lick honey off of your face?“

”No, but you aren't just anyone.“

Kaldo tried to keep his face serious despite how his embarrassment was still very evident on his face.

”And what do you mean by that?“

You leaned over, your nose almost touching his as you enjoyed watching him fall apart at the realization. He only leaned away slightly, not enough to have your shoulders no longer touch his chest though.

His body was warm, even through his layers of clothes. It made you press up closer against him, continueing your teasing tirade. You had never gone this far before, and you could feel your own blush creep along your cheeks as you felt his hand brush along the back of your neck, pulling you closer-

”Are you going to pay for that, sir?“

The both of you jumped, staring at the disgruntled chef who was glaring at Kaldo's honey covered sushi. His eye's were dark and cold as he watched the two of you awkwardly unentangle from one-another - you even having to scoot back into your chair, after having almost sitting in Kaldo's lap for that near kiss.

You were now the one embarassed, trying to hide your face by staring at the table and hoping no one would notice as Kaldo smoothely paid for both of your orders, as if it made what happened between the two of you any better.

It did not, as the chef's eyes were still felt even as you walked far out of his line of sight.

-

”You know, we should do this again sometime.“

The two of you were walking the same as you always had, side by side - Kaldo slowing his steps to match yours, while you stayed just close to his shoulder, letting his mere status clear your path.

“That chef was so mad at us, though!” You were still freaked out about the look in his eyes - how you had almost kissed Kaldo, had it not been for that guy. You could still imagine the warmth of his gloved hand along your neck, and it made you feel even colder as the wind blew against your face.

Kaldo just laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. His confidence had returned, the embarrassment from earlier only seen by the small blush still visible in his cheeks.

”No, I mean, this. I think we should go out again. Like this.“ He shook your shoulders for emphasis, groaning as if to shake sense in your head.

”We do go out like this.“ You were fighting a blush on your cheeks, as well as trying to keep your walking even with his as he pressed his weight on top of yours. He was heavier than it seemed.

”No, but not in this way. Telling each other things, and when before the chef came over. It's nice.“

”Do you just want to kiss me?“

Kaldo blinked his eyes open, staring right at you. His face had turned into the same color as the ribbons in his hair, although you were not one to talk - saying that sentence had made you so weak in the knees you had started to rest your weight against Kaldo's chest, greatful he worked out.

His arm pulled you in closer by the shoulders, forcing you to stop in your tracks. His eyes nearly glowed in the dim streetlights, scanning your every feature.

“I can't help it. You look kissable.”

“Well, I was going to kiss you before, wasn't I? So do it now.“

He didn't need to be told twice, his gloved hand taking your face and pressing it against his. It was messy, your noses mashed against one another and his teeth gnashing against your lips.

You took your hand to card through his ivory hair, thumbing over the red ribbon holding it all together. You gave yourselves room to breathe, and moved against his frozen face as you tried to salvage the awkward kiss.

Kaldo pulled away first, heaving a large breath and eyes wide and blown out. He looked as if he had ran a marathon in that moment.

You tried to catch your breath as well, gaining your footing again as you still felt his warm body pressing against yours. It was either that or the kiss, that had started to make you sweat.

”That was great.“ Kaldo looked insane, coming down from a high that had essentially left breathless. His hair was messy, and his face was broken into one of the widest smiles you had seen in a while.

Sorry y'all, not my best but I think there's some demon that's taken over me and it made me write for Kaldo. Also sorry to the Mashle community.

[accioepiphany]

I've come to peace with the way I feel about season 3. And I think it's still glorious at times and if you take each episode by itself, quite great. But as a whole, and as a series that needs to follow a group of characters it does gets lost and erases some of the characters' traits and progress that we had already seen, which by the end produces an accumulation of disappointment that is hard to rub off.

I do think its main issues could be summarized in three of the non-negotiables Carmy kept breaking throughout the season:

Focus

Carmy clearly gets out of the walk-in with the goal in mind to fix all his wrongs and he thinks the way to do that is by hyper focusing on his wrongdoings. Somehow, if he is aware of his mistakes he will be able to be one step ahead of them. Or at least that is what he thinks… you have him asking Ebra if he is fucking up, he takes Syd’s notes on a dish he creates as if it is his mistake that he didn't think of it better. But that's where he is wrong. This is not about him. And Syd calls him out on it in episode two, when she tells him that he is making it again about himself. He is so focused on himself that he fails to see everyone else's suggestions and attempts at collaborating with him. He is unfocused on the team…

And so is the show. It lacks so much focus on where the characters should go, it's part of why it feels so aimless. It's trying to do ten things at the same time and none truly. It´s trying to make Claire happen while never really giving it space and actual scenes. Just a bunch of flashbacks. It wants to take us into Carmy's brain without being too certain of what's in there, hyper focusing on his trauma and forgetting the Carmy we met on season 1 who was an asshole, but one that cared. So the focus is not on the people, which is so ironic with having Chef Terry say people forget the food but not the people they had it with.

Which brings me to the second point:

Vibrant Collaboration

Carmy’s non-negotiables have trapped him in a prison of his own that has closed up any attempt anyone might have of actually collaborating with him. So his vibrant collaboration is actually him imposing his ideas on everyone and maybe letting them work over them. Which is why we don't see many of the scenes we had in season 2 of him brainstorming with Syd. Just him being stubborn.

And the show also lacks a proper integration of its characters. Giving way too many screen time to the Faks, the people less integrated to the kitchen. Failing to incorporate Tina's and Marcus' ideas, which they are so enthusiastically developing, but never even get the chance to share. except for sparse acknowledgements by Syd, Nat and each other, that doesn't really take them anywhere. We get beautiful conversations among some characters that lead to nowhere, no consequence, and just because of that, makes them feel repetitive and a waste of time...

Every Second Counts

Which leads me to one of the prime phrases of The Bear, one with so many layers, that is what made it such a protagonist last season and what made Forks so poignant. It's the embodiment of being in the present, and not wasting time, because every second it's precious, which is why if you are not living it, consciously, to its fullest, then what are you doing?

And Carmy is so trapped in his past, thinking this is what will make him not waste time, that it ends up being the opposite, because he cannot just be in the moment and enjoy what he currently has at all.

Sadly, this season has a similar problem and has too many flashbacks and side-plots that drag and just doesn't move forward and kind of waste the very valuable seconds each episode has.

I still love this show and its characters, and I still truly believe it can pivot in season 4, specially if the creators were trying to set the ground with season 3 for maybe more action in season 4. But, I think it's also important to point out when it doesn't go well, as everyone did this season with Carmy, trying to tell him his non-negotiables where ruining everything. I just hope, different from Carmy, the creators of The Bear can listen and change.

[yume-writes]

HIIII its me again, here to share some TFP x MCB stuff. Im the anon who wrote the 'OP and Blue cop bonding/Adoption' I've got more stuff for today yipee :)

Okkk i have a lot of notes for today so get ready huehuehue. I'm just gonna barf it all here and wait for your humble reply. First up, What would be the TFP bots and the MCB bots first reaction/meet be like? Lets say its the MCB season 1 crew that landed into the TFP world, and to me i like to think that they all appear in different locations from each other, maybe some in pairs or groups like Jun, Blue Cop and perhaps Mega Trucker? Black Hook and his crew. Crest and Wild Guardy. (Honestly its for the fanfic writers to have more chapters for their fics instead of a whole grp appearing together and make it very crowded. But who's to say?) ohh and maybe Heavy Iron near the Decepticons lmao. Here the thing that gets me thinking, the MCB crew, they are kinda terrible in being discreet, they are gonna reveal themselves the minute they appear. But lets say (again) that they have braincells and they know that they aren't in their world anymore and decided to go into their alt mode.

However, if you compare the cybertronians alt modes, human vehicles and the cardbots, you can see that the Cardbots are quite futuristic i.e their eyes on the window shied or the internal structure of of their insides. They are also quite expressive anyways.

Im gonna use Blue Cop and Knockout to state some examples.

When you see the cybertronians scan their alt modes, they can replicate exactly what they are scanning. Interior and all. KO's alt mode is an Aston Martin (?) and we get to see his interior in the episodes "Speed Metal" and "Plus One" and tbh it looks like an exact replica of the car he scanned (at least close enough to fool humans as it actually looks like a earth vehicle interior)

Now looking at the Blue cop, his alt mode to me just screams 'not this era', futuristic even. Window eyes? Making them quite expressive even in their alt modes. Blue Cops interior, from the first episode where Jun first meet him, it already looks quite alien and different from a standard cop car. (maybe its the different show styles but i digress) It would kinda raise some flags to people, especially in a small town in Jasper Nevada where word gets around fast. Seeing an unknown, unlicenced and morden looking cop car driving around and only a child that is in the car would raise some questions (especially if they got a peak inside). And comparing their own law enforcement cars to Blue cop? That is not their town cop or any cop for that matter cause he would look sooo different.

Generally, the cardbots would just give off a vibe that just makes people look at them like "tf is that vehicle? never in my life have i seen that kind off vehicle before." Agent Fowler would get calls from his superiors saying there are 'interesting' vehicles roaming around Jasper (ahem, the cardbots) with children and would send team prime to handle it or their own scanners picked up unusual activity somewhere. Que the meet ups where the autobots and cardbots meet or the decepticons taking the cardbots in. Just that the cardbots are gonna get discovered pretty quick. Seeing a flying pirate ship is wild ngl.

Would it be peaceful meetings or would a fight go down? Perchance. Second, Heavy Iron looks like MEGOP love child. OMG the i saw a post on tiktok and another on here, i can't get rid off that image. Miko would deff see the resemblance and now Team Prime can't get it out of their head. Third, TFP has this called the uhhh cortical psychic patch. Do you think it will work on the cardbots? If it does, maybe Megs or Soundwave could like kidnapped Blue cop or something and try to use this patch on him to learn more about the cardbots yk since he is the equivalent of a prime. I know the patch thing can lead to serious consequences (i think, correct me if im wrong) perhaps Blue cop could go through an amnesia arc? or like in an episode in TFP similar to when Megs possessed Bee but its Blue cop.

Lastly, I just want more Blue Cop angst cause he is my pookie and i wanna see my babygirl cry. (sorry not sorry) Let's say the Con's manages to find an iacon artifact/relic or smth (If shockwave is in this maybe he would create it?) that is able to like control someone, bend them to the user's will. Megatron would get it and use it in Blue cop (other cardbots like Fleta Z and Black Hook's crew too?) as like a Star Guardian is like equivalent to a Prime and like Blue cop is quite powerful in his own right so Megs would use him against his own team. It also showcases Blue Cop's actual skills when he is not holding back (He is so smol but soooo vicious when fights, i mean he is a guardian for a reason right?)

The relic/creation could be like a head gear (matching crowns?) or something similar to a broach that magnetizes itself to their chest plate? And the best part, it interferes with the Metal Breath so Blue Cop can't be sealed and the others basically can't do anything but to get the relic/creation off Blue. TADA!!!! I AM DONE YIPPEEE apologies for all that info dumped into one ask. Take your time for the reply! this is like one of my longest asks.

MCB x TFP crossover

Never apologized for info dumping!! I love getting long asks like this!!! Also thank you for sending more asks!!

I know that in the MCB universe, earth vehicles are based on the cardbots alt modes so they are similar. I mean, if I remember correctly, the police use the same model of police car as Blue Cop. So in their universe they can blend in well. But that's in their universe, they would stick out like a sore thumb in the tfp universe

Like you said, they have more futuristic and modern alt modes, so people would pay more attention to them. Along with that Jasper, Nevada is a small town, everyone knows each other there, there would be a very small number of cops in the town, they would know all the police in town. So seeing this cop car, that doesn't look like any in town, would bring up suspicion

Also that whole thing about the cardbots alt mode looking different just reminds me of Mega Ambler's alt mode. Forget Blue Cop being found out first, Mega Ambler has his scope on his alt mode, what ambulance has that?! Also this is all considering that Black Hook doesn't show up, which would be highly unlikely considering he showed up above Jun's neighborhood

The MCB bots getting split up would be very interesting because of the different ways they would interact. Blue Cop and Jun could meet the tfp kids first and their guardians because of them driving through the town trying to figure out where they are. And the kids see this and realize that they have to be a bot, and taking them out of town to talk

They wouldn't fight each other, but the same can't be said for the others. In the fic, Metal Card-Autobot by Hunterhummingbird on ao3, they had Mega Ambler and Ratchet fight each other. Mega Ambler would, probably, be one of the ones to be more likely to fight. Phoenix Fire would be paranoid, extremely so, being in another universe. Dexter would be on edge as well, I kinda want him to end up near MECH, just because of his previous distrust of humans. Listen I love putting all my favorite characters through trauma

I know that in a previous ask someone said something about Heavy Iron ending up near the cons, like you said, and I want him to end up near Megatron. All the cons would be on edge and would try fighting him, of course the vehicons are destroyed which leads to Megatron coming to see what is happening, who is this strange bot. Megatron could see how strong Heavy Iron is and plan to use him, telling him to join the cons. Heavy Iron tells him to frag off and they start fighting. The amount of fighting and the numerous cannon shots tips off the Bot and the cardbots they have with them. So they show up and take Heavy Iron with them

So many people have said that Heavy Iron is MegOp's child, and I agree with that. All the bots and cons see that as well but never really say anything, that would be extremely awkward to mention so they just don't. Miko takes one look at him and blurts it out, Heavy Iron just side eyes her and doesn't answer

I do think that the patch could work on the Cardbots, I mean even if it doesn't work this is Shockwave we're talking about, he'll find a way to make it work. I don't know much about the consequences of the patch, the wiki doesn't really say anything, but one thing I see is that the victim can remember all their memories at once, and that includes all the traumatic ones. Also in Cyberverse it can cause extreme pain for them, not sure if it's the same in tfp

But during Tfp Megatron can get into Bee's mind and even take over his body due to the patch, so it wouldn't be weird to imagine it can cause Blue Cop to lose his memories. The poor guy still believes that Machina is alive and that the Star Guardians are still alive as well. No one wants to tell him the truth, but they do, and he just goes through denial for a long time. He can't believe his home is gone and that his friends are dead. The knowledge they're in another universe is insane to him as well. They do eventually get his memories back, but it's concerning seeing him grieving

Also I have had so many thoughts about Blue Cop being controlled and forced to fight his friends. I know I've talked about it in a previous ask but the knowledge that Blue Cop has been holding back, to not hurt them, would scare them. Blue Cop is beating them up like it's nothing, even Heavy Iron and Black Hook are having trouble keeping up with him. It really puts into perspective what a Star Guardian is, someone who was chosen to protect Deus Maxhina

Maybe the relic would be similar to a broach, like the ones used in Earthspark, like the one to control Hashtag. Also how about Blue Cop knowing and seeing everything he's doing while being controlled, but he can't do anything about it. Just crying and begging him to stop, to stop attacking his family, trying to take control but he can't, and begging the others to stop him, to make sure he doesn't hurt anymore, especially Jun.

[vampyrhics]

i know that people are somewhat nervous about how in ep 10, guillermo is still at cannon capital. i myself, am not all that concerned, because there's some groundwork in these episodes that i am paying a lot of attention to as we continue through the season. a few things:

one being that jordan uses the family language that we have seen used by guillermo in previous seasons, but never outwardly returned by the vampires. this to me signals that cannon capital are using his needs to take advantage of him (jordan also mentions how he shows up early and stays late, and it's obvious that this job is changing guillermo as a person in a bad way). guillermo, more than anything, has wanted a place to belong, but i think his arc is realizing that the vampires are his actual family, not this soul sucking workplace. there's a lot of capitalism red flags floating around in this season that are making me nervous, because the company obviously views guillermo as expendable (where the vampires begin to work with him because they view him as not expendable -- they all fight over his room, showing they miss him, and they all show up because they're afraid of guillermo losing his mind being in the normal human world).

on top of this, it is obvious that jordan is just fulfilling the place of nandor, which guillermo has been trying to find since no longer being a part of the vampire residence full-time (calling him "master" accidentally, arguing with nandor he's not at jordan's beck and call and then answering his literal phone call). which is ironic, because this also mirrors nandor's arc in the season, with the desperation of filling the hole of guillermo in his life (which we have witnessed many times before). they are still all about each other, even when desperately focusing on other things. this applies to the relationship that nandor is trying to have with the guide, especially since it's been established that she is no longer attracted to him (s3 wedding), thought he was the conquerer but realized he wasn't (s6, ep1), and overall has not been very receptive to this change in nandor (s6, ep3) when she tells him "bye" in an irritated tone. i don't think this will work out, just like all other relationships for nandor that are not guillermo.

lastly, they are on equal footing this season more than ever before. there is no longer any "professional" involvement between them, they are just two people who were a part of each other's life for a long time, and all the complications of that. also, i think it is fair to note that kayvan has stated that they're acting a lot like exes -- how nandor can't accept that guillermo's new way of life does not include him, and in nandor's mind, it has to. he can't let guillermo go, and he doesn't want to either, and i think deep down -- guillermo is in the same boat. he helps fix vampire problems still despite saying that he wouldn't, offers a place for nandor to sit and talk when he's clearly upset (also that richard nixon speech says some things about how he feels about guillermo leaving him, even in a very fucked up roundabout way), and tries to keep nandor from being fired because he knows it will hurt nandor's feelings. is this aligned with someone who is truly over the vampires? i think not!

anyway, i have a feeling this will come to a head at some point, and it seems the promotion is going to be when that happens. also, to be noted -- that's not the last episode of the season, so chances are, we will see where the fallout goes. but how will that shake out? i don't know, but i do hope that all this setup is going somewhere because there's a ton of it this season whereas we used to not get any except a few moments here and there. this season's soul is literally the dynamic between nandor and guillermo, so i assume that this will pay off (we hope).