#introspection hurts

[ghxstgvrlx]

It’s so easy to criticize someone who takes risks if you never do. The safe route keeps you … safe. Lol

Someone who never is vulnerable or has less survival situations they’ve been through or big mistakes that they’ve made, the easier they feel that they can criticize you for what you’ve done or how you handle the problems in your life. Sympathy and empathy are not the same things. Sympathy is when you can recognize someone else’s pain and feel pity for them but don’t necessarily understand from your own lived experiences, empathy is the desire to 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 their pain, whether it’s a shared experience or not.

When you’ve been through some shit, you can usually recognize when someone else hasn’t or hasn’t in the way you have. I’m not trying to compare traumas or do the Trauma Olympics lol but I think it’s fair to say that you at the very least can tell through questions or even just noticing their reactions to gather that they haven’t been though what you have. Like, I’ve never fought in a war. Do I understand what that does to a human being? No, not really. I can try to sympathize and empathize with them, I can try to learn more but I can’t feel what they’ve felt. I can’t be where they’ve been, and I wouldn’t want to.

All this to say basically, don’t expect someone who’s never walked in your shoes to understand what that feels like. That’s okay, they don’t have to. Just get a really good filter for people who want to shame you and who want to understand you.

[star-struck09]

I fear the sadness will consume me alive one day.

[ruporas]

your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

[aventurineswife]

Could I request the Astral Express trio (you can choose Stelle or Caelus) with a reader (GN) who is also a member of the Express who is like an older sibling? Reprimanding them when they get hurt, or comforting them when they're upset?

No One is Alone

Summary: Life aboard the Astral Express isn't just about fighting enemies or exploring new worlds—it's also about looking out for each other. As the team's older sibling figure, you take it upon yourself to reprimand Dan Heng and Stelle after they return from a mission injured. Through scolding, comforting, and heartfelt conversations, you remind them that they're part of a team and don't have to face their struggles alone.

Tags: Astral Express Trio x Reader, Platonic, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sibling Dynamics, GN!Reader, Protective!Reader, Team Bonding, Angst with a Happy Ending.

Warnings: Mentions of injuries (non-graphic), Mild guilt/self-blame themes, Emotional vulnerability and introspection.

The hum of the Astral Express filled the air, a comforting backdrop to life aboard the interstellar train. You sat in the lounge, scanning over a datapad while keeping half an ear tuned to the faint commotion from the infirmary. It was a sound you'd become all too familiar with since joining the crew.

Dan Heng and Stelle—recovering from yet another scrape they shouldn't have gotten into.

The infirmary door swished open, and March peeked out, her expression torn between amusement and sympathy. "They're ready for the scolding..." she chirped.

You sighed, setting your datapad aside. Rising to your feet, you felt the weight of your role—neither a fighter nor a strategist, but the de facto big sibling of this unconventional family.

The scene in the infirmary was almost comical. Stelle sat on one of the cots, a bandage around her upper arm, her usual unbothered expression firmly in place. Dan Heng stood nearby, his arms crossed over his chest, looking stoic despite the gash on his shoulder that hadn't been there when the mission started.

"Care to explain?" you began, arms crossed and gaze level.

"It was just a minor miscalculation." Dan Heng replied calmly.

"A 'minor miscalculation' doesn't leave you bleeding, Dan Heng," you said pointedly, turning to Stelle. "And you—didn't I tell you to call for backup if things went south?"

Stelle gave a sheepish shrug. "I thought we could handle it."

"You thought wrong." You sighed, your tone softening as you crossed the room. Grabbing a chair, you sat between them, your expression gentler now. "I know you're both incredibly capable. But even the best make mistakes. You're part of a team—you don't have to shoulder everything alone."

Dan Heng's gaze flickered to the floor, and Stelle's shoulders slumped slightly.

"You don’t need to push yourself to the point of breaking to prove anything," you added, standing to place a reassuring hand on each of their shoulders. "We're in this together. If something happened to either of you, we’d all feel it. And you’d feel the same if it were March, right?"

Both nodded, though they didn’t meet your gaze.

"Good. Now, promise me you’ll call for help next time."

"Promise." Stelle said, a small smile tugging at her lips. Dan Heng gave a slight nod, his stoic mask cracking just enough for you to catch the faintest hint of guilt.

Later, in the privacy of the archive, you found Dan Heng surrounded by stacks of books. He looked up as you entered, his expression as composed as ever.

"You didn't just come here to read, did you?" you asked, pulling up a chair.

"...No," he admitted after a moment, his voice quiet. "I thought I could avoid putting others at risk by keeping things to myself. I didn’t think about how that might affect the team."

You smiled softly, resting a hand on his. "Dan Heng, you're not a burden. You're not just running from your past anymore—you’re building a future with all of us. And we need you to trust us enough to let us help."

He hesitated, then gave a small nod. "I'll try."

Later that evening, Stelle found you in the lounge, sitting with a warm drink. She plopped down beside you, her usual confidence dimmed by something you couldn’t quite place.

"You were right," she said, uncharacteristically subdued.

"About what?" you asked, setting your drink down.

"About asking for help." She stared at the floor for a moment before meeting your eyes. "I’m used to going it alone. But... it’s different with you guys. It’s like, I know you’ve got my back, and that’s scary because now I care. You know?"

You smiled, ruffling her hair like a younger sibling. "That’s not a bad thing, Stelle. Caring means you’re not just surviving anymore—you’re living."

She leaned into your side, her head on your shoulder. "Thanks, big sibling."

"Anytime," you said, wrapping an arm around her. "Just stop scaring me with the near-death experiences, okay?"

"I’ll try." she mumbled, and for now, that was enough.

(yonagi on X)

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Resisting the urge to make even more bitter posts about people I expected to be better

[proshippers-against-censorship]

I do want to clarify that I do not hate children. In fact, I work quite often with children, and have for many years.

Minors are just as permitted in fandom as adults, it's a space intended for everyone.

But waaaay too many parents are really taking a hands off approach to parenting nowadays, and there's a lot of really entitled kids (aka, brats) online that trod all over everyone else, expect every space to be child friendly, and ultimately get annoyed when certain spaces are kept for adults only.

And those are the kind of kids that I want nothing to do with. Especially when they reach an age where they should 100% know better and where multiple people are trying to correct them, but they're just ignoring em to continue being disrespectful.

Be respectful, not a brat.

Please.

[antiquepearlss]

Wouldn’t it be really funny if Rapunzel just, forgot about Varian’s whole villain arc in convenient moments?

Like Varian is suspected by some villager of conspiring with criminals and she’s just like “Why would Varian be around criminals lmao?” Or he commits some petty crime (against someone who totally deserves it) and when he’s accused she’s just like “Varian has never done anything wrong in his entire life!”

Varian: pranks Frederic by putting thumbtacks on his throne, puts blue dye in Nigel’s shampoo, steals classified documents for shits and giggles, sneaks in fake documents within real documents, replaces the guards swords with inflatables, blackmails uppity nobles, goo bombs Kiera and Catalina’s treehouse, dyes all of Lance’s clothes hot pink, and steals Eugene’s makeup.

Rapunzel: Varian is such a silly little guy. What a sweet lad.

[phoenix-downer]

Love’s First Bloom

Summary: Kairi accidentally falls into a rushing river when she tries to pick a rare paopu flower. Sora and Riku work together to rescue her and realize they both have feelings for her.

Kairi likewise has a few realizations of her own.

~5000 words. Set between BBS and KH1. Love Triangle, Friendship, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Feelings Realization, Crushes, First Love, Introspection, Hurt/Comfort. POV Kairi, Riku, and Sora.

🌸🌼🌺

How quickly life can change. Like a cool breeze picking up or a slight shift in the scenery, suddenly what you took for granted can be gone in an instant. 

“C’mon, Kairi, let’s go!” Sora called. Kairi looked up from her current crafts project: a flower crown with purple asters, white chrysanthemums, blue forget-me-nots, and big red hibiscuses. Those colors were all nice together, but a yellow flower would be a nice addition. Maybe she’d find one as they went exploring. 

She tucked the flower crown in her pocket, then grabbed her straw hat and put it on. She wasn’t like Sora and Riku—they tanned easily, especially Sora, but her skin turned red so fast. And then the red turned into dozens and dozens of freckles. Redheads weren’t made for the tropical sun, and brief memories of another place flickered through her mind. A place with a big castle and lots of flowers and waterfalls. 

“Coming!” she cried as she stumbled after the boys. They were both so much faster than her, and the sand on the beach was always hard to run on. But presently the ground beneath her feet got more solid, and the boys finally slowed down as the three of them passed through the town and started climbing the hills behind it.

“Where are we going this time?” Sora asked, looking at Riku. Riku always decided what they would do. 

Riku grinned and swung his play sword. “It’s a surprise. But I think you’ll like it, Kairi.” He looked at her like he wanted her to say something. Come to think of it, he’d been looking at her a lot lately. 

“Oh, are there nice flowers?” she asked, her fingers resting on the flower crown in her pocket. She wanted to finish it as soon as she could.

Riku’s grin got bigger, and his eyes had a teasing glint in them. “Maybe.” 

“And pretty scenery?” she pressed. Every part of Destiny Islands was pretty, but Riku always knew the best spots.

“Only the best for you,” Riku said, and Kairi felt a funny feeling blooming in her chest.

Sora frowned, his face twisting into a scowl. “I know some pretty spots too, Kairi,” he said. 

Riku rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. The stuff I showed you guys last week,” he said, and Kairi giggled into her hand. 

Now Sora was pouting. “That’s not true, I know a lot of nice spots Riku doesn’t know!” 

“Prove it, then,” Riku said, and Sora muttered something about how he would. At the branch in the mountain path up ahead, he led them to the right. They followed the path for a little longer until Sora took them off the path and through a clump of trees. On the other side was a beautiful clearing full of wildflowers, perfect for sparring. The sound of running water reached Kairi’s ears. There must be a branch of the river nearby. 

“Oh, this is really pretty!” Kairi exclaimed, clasping her hands together. She glanced at Sora, and he grinned and rubbed his cheek. 

“Hmmph,” Riku said. It was clear this was a place he hadn’t been before. Either that or he had but hadn’t thought to bring them here.

Sora pulled his wooden sword out. “Wanna fight?” he asked Riku, and at this Riku perked up. He loved the chance to spar with Sora. He pulled his sword out too and moved into an attack stance. 

Kairi smoothed her skirts and dutifully sat down on the grass nearby. Sora recklessly charged, and Riku carefully evaded him, then caught him in the back. Sora plunged into a roll and then sprung to his feet. He whirled around so quickly that he caught Riku by surprise, knocking Riku over. But Riku still had a trick up his sleeve; he waited a few seconds, then pushed himself up with his arms, using his momentum to kick Sora with both of his feet. Sora flinched and yelped but still clung to his sword. And so the fight continued with neither of them getting the upper hand. Riku was stronger but Sora was faster, so it wasn’t clear who would win.

After a while, Kairi got kinda bored watching the boys fight. They sparred so often that she felt like she'd seen every combination of tricks they could pull off, and there were some pretty-looking flowers over by the riverbank that she really wanted to pick. She skipped off in the direction of the river. A quick glance over her shoulder told her the boys didn’t even notice because they were so focused on their fight. Smiling to herself, she continued on. She usually enjoyed hanging out with Sora and Riku, but sometimes they were just such…boys. Lately they’d been constantly sparring and competing with each other, even when she wanted to pick flowers or go swimming or make seashell crafts. 

Besides, this way she could give them both flowers no matter who won the fight. 

The wildflowers along the riverbank were really pretty. Their petals were small and delicate, like little blue bells hanging off the stems. The river sped along nearby, deceptively calm for having such a fast current. Her parents always warned her about not swimming in the water when it looked like that. One wrong move and she would easily get swept under. 

Humming, she picked a few more flowers and tucked them into her pockets. She was always careful not to take more than she needed. Only enough for her crafts—the rest she needed to leave behind so there would still be pretty flowers in the future. That was what her parents had taught her. The flowers she did pick would make nice gifts and supplies for her crafts.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a brilliant yellow blossom. It had five petals, and the rounded shape of the petals made it look like a paopu fruit. Kairi’s breath caught. Was this the paopu flower? She’d only seen it a couple times in the wild before, and never in a place she could reach it. It was supposed to be super rare, and she hadn’t expected to see one today.

Which meant she had to pick it. Who knows when she might find one again? Edging towards the riverbank, she thought about who to give it to: Sora, or Riku. A blush crept up her cheeks. You were supposed to give the flower to someone you loved. But who did she love? She wasn’t really sure. 

Just…a little further…there. She plucked the flower and smiled, glancing back towards the boys. But the movement threw her balance off, and she gasped and dropped the flower. A clump of earth crumbled beneath her hands, and a root from a nearby tree broke off when she grabbed it. She clutched at something, anything, to keep herself from falling in, but it was too late. With a scream, she tumbled headlong into the cold, fast-moving waters of the river.

🌸🌼🌺

The moment Riku and Sora heard Kairi’s blood-curdling scream and then a loud splash, the boys dropped their swords and raced to the riverbank. Riku knew Kairi was a strong swimmer thanks to his careful lessons (well, and if he had to, he would admit Sora had helped her too), but the river was cold and the current was fast. And if she’d hit her head on anything when she’d fallen…

Riku reached the riverbank first. He yanked his shirt off and threw it on the ground. “Sora, I’m going in!” he called as Sora arrived, panting hard. “Find a branch I can hold onto and pull us out.” Sora nodded, trusting him completely, and with that Riku dove into the icy water. Man, it was cold, and the current was fast, but he had to find Kairi. She hadn’t fallen into the water much earlier than him, but—

There she was, a little further downstream. Her eyes were half-lidded and she was gripping a tree branch, but as he watched in horror, her hand went limp and she slipped back into the water. 

“KAIRI!” he shouted, then swam to her as fast as he could. This couldn't be the end of her. He wouldn't let it be. Ever since she had washed up on the shores of the Destiny Islands eight years ago, his life hadn't been the same. She'd been shy and quiet at first, her eyes always gazing off into the distance like she was searching for someone she couldn't find, but that was before she’d opened up to them. They were all friends now, and the thought of never hearing her giggle or seeing her smile or watching her eyes light up when he surprised her made his stomach churn and drove him to reach her. He had to see the way her eyes danced and her smile got playful when she teased him and Sora again. He just had to.

Faster, he had to go faster. His senses sharpened, and his feelings were as clear as the river rushing to take her away from him: he couldn't bear for her to slip out of his life just as suddenly as she'd entered it. Her head briefly popped out of the water again, and relief flooded him at the side of her familiar red hair. He reached towards her, he was almost there, just a little farther—

“Kairi, grab my hand!” he shouted.

She latched onto his arm with far more strength than he expected, and he knew Sora had to act quickly, or they would both drown. In her desperate state, Kairi wouldn't remember to avoid dragging Riku under the water with her. It was something all parents told their children on Destiny Islands, and the warning rang clear through Riku's mind.

“Riku, grab the stick!” 

Never had he been so relieved to hear his best friend's voice. Sora had tied himself to a tree with some spare rope and was holding out a tree branch to him, his eyes filled with panic and worry. Riku grabbed on, and the unwanted thought flashed through his mind that Sora might not be strong enough to pull them both out. He was still pretty scrawny and small. But a determined glint was in his friend’s eyes now, and Sora braced himself and pulled with far more strength than Riku thought he was capable of. The muscles in his arms strained and shook, and he gritted his teeth and groaned loudly, but he refused to let go. For a split second, Riku thought he saw a blond boy several years older than him in Sora's place, but then he was gone and it was just Sora. Slowly, inch by inch, he pulled Riku and Kairi out of the river.

Sheesh. Riku must've been seeing things with how stressed out he was. He turned his attention to Kairi. She gasped and coughed, and at last enough of Riku was on the bank to pull and drag her the rest of the way up. She was shivering, soaking wet, and now covered in mud from the bank, but she was alive. He suddenly felt very, very weak, and as he glanced at Sora, he was shocked to see tears dripping down his cheeks.

“Thank goodness,” Sora said, sniffing and rubbing his red eyes, his voice filled with relief. “I thought I was gonna lose you both.”

Riku was irritated at how much of a crybaby Sora was being. Again. Seriously, he'd been such a crybaby ever since they were kids, and even at twelve years old, he still cried shamelessly in front of other people. Then Riku was annoyed at how little faith Sora had in him. Did Sora really think he wouldn't save Kairi? 

But when Sora smiled at them both and knelt to hug them, all of that melted away.

We really matter that much to him, don't we? A pang of guilt shot through Riku at how he'd been treating Sora lately. Putting him down in front of Kairi to try to impress her. Goading him and teasing him when he reacted and got upset. Turning everything into a competition because a tiny, green-eyed voice deep down wondered if Kairi liked Sora more.

Not that Sora noticed. The idiot was still so oblivious to his own feelings, let alone Kairi’s.

But Riku didn't push Sora away or tell him not to hug them. He didn't like how clingy Sora was being, but after what they’d all just been through, he would allow Sora to be clingy. Just this once.

“Kairi, you’re as cold as ice,” Sora said. He pulled away from them and frowned. He was right. When Riku touched her arm, it was way colder than it should've been. She coughed and wouldn't stop shivering, and when Sora said her name again, she didn't respond. 

“Kairi, wake up,” Sora begged, but she still wouldn't respond.

“I think she needs to see a doctor,” Riku said. “Hang on, let me grab my shirt so you can put it over her, then I'll go get her parents.”

He found his shirt upriver a little ways away from them, right where he’d left it, and brought it back. He tossed it to Sora and took off running, following the path of the river. He had to make it back to town as quickly as possible. But he was tired, so tired from going after Kairi. Would she really be okay? If only he were stronger, he could carry her all the way back to her parents or to the doctor himself.

Another pang of guilt shot through him. He needed more strength. More strength to protect her. His body was growing every day, but it still wasn't fast enough or strong enough. He still had to rely on adults for help. One day, he would have the strength to protect his friends himself. He had to. 

The thought urged him forward even as his legs ached and his lungs burned. Strength, to protect what matters. That was what he wanted, more than anything else.

🌸🌼🌺

Sora didn't know what to do. Even though he’d wrapped Riku’s shirt around Kairi, she kept getting colder and colder. She wasn't responding to him anymore, like she'd fallen into a deep deep sleep. She was still breathing, but her face was as pale as a ghost’s.

His heart was thundering in his chest, and his head swam. His arms ached from lifting Riku and Kairi out of the water, and he felt so useless. What good was it that he'd gotten her out of the water if she died here?

“Riku, hurry," he pleaded, but he knew he had to do something before his friend returned with help. It would still be a while yet before anyone else came. So he pulled Kairi close to his body and held her tight, hoping with all his heart that his warmth would make her body warm up again.

This was the closest he'd ever been to her, but all he could think about was how cold she was, how limp she was, how he wanted nothing more than for her to open her eyes again. Her eyes were so pretty. Blue like the sea with just a hint of purple, her favorite color. How did he not notice how pretty they were before? And now she might never open them again.

“Wake up, please,“ he begged, and the words sounded strangled and choked. “Kairi, you have to open your eyes!”

How could he have been so stupid? The thought of losing her made him realize just how much she meant to him. She was such an important part of his life, woven into so many memories as tightly as she wove her flower crowns and daisy chains together into beautiful creations. He couldn't imagine the future without her. In his mind, he'd arrogantly acted like she would always be there. But today had shown him he couldn't ever take a single moment with her for granted.

So he willed with all his heart that she would live, that his warmth would be enough. If it was, he would be sure to treasure every memory with her from now on.

After what was probably only minutes but felt like hours of agonized waiting, her skin felt ever so slightly warmer. At first he thought it was his overactive imagination, but no, a slight flush had returned to her cheeks. He gripped her even more tightly. A minute passed, and then another, and at last she stirred and opened her eyes.

“Sora?” she said weakly. Her voice sounded more like the croaks of the frogs they liked to catch in the pool on the Play Island, but to him it was the most wonderful sound in the world.

“You're awake!” He smiled, and in that moment he thought his heart would leap out of his chest. A warm, tingly sensation tumbled through him, but it wasn't a bad feeling. Just exciting and new. He would think about it later.

She smiled back. “You saved me. Thank you.”

He couldn't help himself. He hugged her tightly, and a moment later, he felt her arms wrapping around him. This was a very different hug from the quick hug he’d given her and Riku earlier. She was close, closer than she'd ever been, and something stirred deep inside him. His face, no, his entire body felt warm. He’d never been so aware of his body like this before, let alone hers. He was embarrassed by what he was feeling, but at the same time, he didn't want to let go of her either. It was like he couldn't move and didn't want to. She wasn't pulling away either. Did she like hugging him? He sure liked hugging her.

What was all this? He’d never felt like this before. Before he could make heads or tails of it, Riku returned with the grownups. 

The look on Riku's face was strange. Like Sora had just said something awful and punched him. Sora felt oddly…guilty. Like he shouldn't be hugging Kairi like this in front of Riku, even though it felt better than he could've imagined. So he pulled away from her even though he could've sat there hugging her for hours.

“Kairi, are you okay?" her mother asked, holding a blanket out to her daughter. The grownups took over from that point, and Sora just sort of watched everything in a daze.

Until Kairi wondered whose T-shirt she was wearing, and Riku shyly said that it was his. Kairi thanked him and tried to give it back to him, her cheeks pink as she avoided looking at his bare chest. Riku shook his head and insisted she keep it, and his cheeks were flushed too.

Sora felt like someone had kicked him in the gut. The breeze that had felt pleasant earlier felt cold now. Like the world was strange and different and off kilter because he knew something he wished he didn't. 

He understood now why Riku had given him that strange look. A tiny green-eyed monster reared its ugly head inside him. A creature of shadow that whispered Kairi's mine. Sora pushed the creature deep down to where he couldn't hear it anymore. Kairi wasn't a possession to own, she was a person. She was his friend. How could he even think something like that?

But a part of him didn't want her hugging anyone else the way she'd hugged him. And that part of him did not like the way she had looked at Riku, or the way Riku had looked at her.

Sora had stepped into a storybook he didn't want to be any part of. Riku was his best friend. Kairi was also his friend. He didn't want to hurt Riku, and he couldn't bear to watch Kairi smile at Riku or blush because of something Riku had said or giggle because of something Riku had done. He had the funny sense that the little green-eyed monster would grow bigger and stronger every time she did.

So when the grownups took Kairi back to the town, Sora stayed behind. She looked disappointed but didn't argue, and he promised he'd see her tomorrow. Now he was wandering back and forth by the river and kicking clumps of grass. He didn't think he could be around Riku or Kairi right now. He was relieved she was okay, but he had no idea what was going on with himself. The three of them were friends. They would always be friends. Right?

He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Things had been fine this morning. Sure, Riku liked to tease him, and Kairi liked to tease him too, but he knew where his place was in that world. This new world, with these confusing new feelings? He had no idea. All he was sure of was that he wanted to hug Kairi again like that, but he didn't want to hurt Riku's feelings. And he knew that if Kairi ever hugged Riku the way she had hugged him, the monster might destroy him from the inside.

Not that he could ever let either of them know that. All of this felt so wrong and so complicated. 

He wandered over to the spot where Kairi had fallen in the river. A yellow flower with five petals caught his eye. Huh. The rounded shape of the petals kinda made it look like a paopu fruit. He picked it up and carefully tucked it in his pocket. It was a nice flower, and for some reason, he felt like it should stay with him. Maybe it was a token of good luck that had kept Kairi safe. He would take it home and put it in a vase. That would help it live for a while longer.

As he walked home, the future didn't seem so scary anymore. Those strange thoughts he had had earlier, those weird new feelings…it all felt a little silly now. He and Riku and Kairi would always be friends. He put his hands behind his neck and whistled as he walked the path home.

A tiny part of him, not the little green-eyed monster but something smaller and more delicate and yet harder to kill, hoped that someday, Kairi would hug him again like that, and that Riku wouldn't hate him for it.

🌸🌼🌺

The next day, Kairi was feeling much better. A good night’s sleep, her mother's miso soup, and the day off from school had worked wonders. Still, that had been an awfully close call, and she promised her parents never to do something so foolish again just to try to get a flower.

She sighed sadly. She'd been so close to having a legendary paopu flower of her own. Imagine what she could've done with it! Oh well. It certainly wasn't worth her life, and she knew she would find another one eventually.

The weather was perfect today. She happily skipped down the path to the main part of town, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Her father was the mayor, and her family lived in a big special house on a hill overlooking the town. Sora and Riku's families lived in town, so it was a bit of a walk to reach them, but she didn't mind.

She decided to stop by Sora's house first. It was a little closer, and he'd acted strange after their hug yesterday, and she wanted to know why. He’d gotten all quiet and thoughtful, which wasn't like him at all. She was a little bummed out he hadn't walked her home along with the grownups and Riku. But he’d said he wanted to stay behind a little longer, and she’d been too tired to argue.

She knocked on the door, then rocked up and down on her heels as she waited for him to answer, her hands behind her back. His mom opened the door instead and invited her in, and she greeted her politely and took off her shoes. Then she took the stairs two at a time and burst into his room. He was lying on his bed with his hands behind his neck, and he sat up, surprise written on his features until he realized it was her. His face lit up and then softened into a smile.

“Hey, Kairi! I'm glad you're feeling better.”

She tilted her head and leaned closer, which made his breath catch in an adorable way and a flush creep up his cheeks. “It's all thanks to you and—“

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a brilliant yellow blossom carefully placed in a simple glass vase on his bedside table. It had five round petals, and Kairi’s breath caught. Was this the paopu flower she’d picked yesterday? 

“Sora, where did you find that flower?” 

He grinned. “Oh, that? It's pretty, isn't it? I found it on the riverbank yesterday and brought it home because I liked it.” He paused for a moment, studying her face. “Do you want it?”

She just stared at him for a few moments. You were supposed to give the flower to someone you loved. By fate or by chance, the flower had made its way to Sora. And in that moment, her feelings became crystal clear. The flower was a sign, but it hadn’t made up her mind. No, it was simply confirmation of what she already knew, deep down inside her heart.

She was very grateful to Riku for saving her from the river and for his friendship over the years, and like every other girl on the islands, she thought he was attractive, so of course she had blushed at seeing him shirtless yesterday. But she'd also realized something very important, something that had taken her by complete surprise.

Sora was the one she had a crush on. Sora. On paper she should prefer Riku. He was older, he was more mature, he was stronger and faster and good-looking. So why didn't she like him like that?

The answer was Sora. As she gazed at him, her heart grew warm and a blush spread across her cheeks. She couldn't stop thinking about the tender way he’d hugged her yesterday. How safe and gentle his arms were. How he had warmed her cold, shivering body up. The smile on his face that was meant only for her. It had lit up his eyes when she woke up and transformed his entire appearance. And his eyes were so pretty. How had she never noticed before? They were as blue as the sky at midday without a cloud to shroud them. She loved his messy mop of spiky brown hair and his dorky clothes, too. 

He was so brave and kind and goodhearted. Finding the strength from deep in his heart to rescue both her and Riku from the river, even though it must've been really difficult to pull them both out of it.

Sora was a good person. And knowing he was a good person, that he would go to any length to save her, painted him in a different light. Or maybe she was finally seeing what had been there all along.

She suddenly felt bad about the look on his face yesterday when she’d tried to give Riku back his T-shirt. He looked so hurt in a way she hadn't ever seen before, but he’d quickly masked it. Was it possible he was jealous? The thought sent a little thrill through her.

He had nothing to be jealous of. The paopu flower was only confirmation of something that had been growing and growing until today it had burst into bloom. Its yellow petals cast everything in a different light, like rays of the sun showing her Sora’s true self.

He tilted his head, a faint smile twitching at his lips. “Kairi? Everything okay?”

“Yes, sorry! I just got lost in thought, that's all.”

He just shook his head and grinned. “And you give me such a hard time about daydreaming,” he teased, putting his hands behind his neck. Then his expression softened and he lowered them. “But seriously, do you want the flower? You can have it.”

“Oh! No, no I want you to keep it. It suits you, and it suits that spot on the window.”

Still…The fact that he’d offered her the flower…was that confirmation he had feelings for her, too? 

No, he didn't know what it meant. She wasn't even sure he knew what his feelings were. But maybe one day he would. And then maybe he would tell her.

“Okay!” He glanced out the window looking out over the area in front of the house, where Riku was now waiting for them. “C’mon, Riku’s here.”

“I'll be right down,” she told him. With that he took off and clambered down the stairs while she lingered, staring in awe at the flower. It had found its way to Sora like it was supposed to and had revealed her feelings to her. Her heart.

This was all so strange and sudden and new. She needed time to think, to process her feelings before she went downstairs and joined the boys. A blush crept up her face, and she giggled into her hand. Sora! She liked Sora! Selphie would tease her endlessly about it if she knew.

But she didn't have to know yet. For now, this was Kairi's precious, private secret. She didn't have to tell anyone until she was ready. How this would all unfold was uncertain, but these new feelings were wonderful, and she would treasure them in her heart just like she treasured Sora in her heart.

And, when the time was right, she would tell him. Glancing at the flower one final time, she knew how she would do it. It was all in the flower’s namesake. She descended the stairs with a smile, looking forward to the day her daydreaming would become a reality.

🌸🌼🌺

A/N: Happy birthday to @hollypollly! 🥳 She gave me a very detailed prompt and outline for the story which was a lot of fun to write ❤️ Thank you so much for everything, Holley, and I hope you have a wonderful day and a fantastic year ❤️ I'm really grateful we met, and I'm glad you're a part of my life 🥺❤️

And thank you all for reading ❤️ I really enjoyed exploring how each of the characters felt in this situation because I do think they would all be feeling conflicting emotions, and it was fun to put that Ventus cameo in there too. I also really enjoyed exploring the world of Destiny Islands more and expounding on the paopu flower concept Holley came up with. Hope you all enjoyed!

[shyjusticewarrior]

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[melancholyclover]

no grave can hold my body down

-

“What’s the matter with havin’ a little fun, darlin’?” He grins at her, sharp teeth glinting in starlight. “Don’t tell me I need to play the corrupt criminal that steals you away for some excitement?”

[alienoresimagines]

Part of growing up is realizing that the people you vibe with might not vibe with you just as much and that it's okay, even if it hurts. It's no one's fault so you should stop hurting yourself by having grand expectations of how your friendship should be because that's how you imagined it when you started talking.

It doesn't mean you're not friends or that you have to let go of that person. It just means you have to let go of the idealized version of that person and of your friendship that you had, and everythings feels much better when you realize no one's at fault for it. Maybe you just weren't made to be best friends or friends who talk to each other at all times but it isn't fair of you to push those expectations on the other person.

You didn't fail at making the friendship blossom. You will find your people who'll vibe with you as much as you vibe with them <3

[star-struck09]

I say I understand but what I really mean is that I would never do this to you.

[blossoms-phan]

will never pass up the opportunity, so! i am asking. what are your phanfic recommendations?

ask (honoured!) and you shall receive bestie! quick preface: i returned to the wonderful world of reading phanfic around the start of this year and have admittedly missed out on years of incredible work i am now catching up on! also in terms of what i read i generally lean towards current-era fics, canon compliant/fluff/smut- although i'm always taking recs from lovely moots/whoever, you may find this isn't the largest range (no aus/long chapter fics or whatever) but this is just a selection of what i've discovered/loved in the past few months and i hope to make more of these as i discover more writings!

shoutout to everyone on here for their recs, all the incredible fanfic writers and the peeps at @phanfictioncatalogue for their work and accessibility and being the reason i discovered so many new fics/tropes i now love <3 ok lets get into ittttttttt

"you look at my face a lot" by natigail: i credit this fic for getting me into reading phanfic again in 2024 <3 one of the first ones i read post-hiatus and i've returned to it countless times! it makes my heart jump, just so sweet and so them. the slittening(s) were such an iconic moment i can't believe it's been 6+ months since them but i love the little moments like dan describing phil's hair colour to a sephora worker, always wanting to know more about each other and the soft intimacy.

"the angel in the marble" by ivylakes: OHH MY GOODNESS this one is artttt. this one is my fave of the post-phlondeing fics i can just see and feel everything that happens, the loving, lazy intimacy, and following this week's t-shirt events it absolutely cements my HC that angel is a nickname for our philly. introspection, hair-kissing, body worship- i eat it up (im having a thing for mirrors in fics rn so there's also that)

"slumber party" by possumdnp: if i wasn't already clear reality-based fics really just do it for me and i love this one!! slumber party is one of my favourite recent-ish gaming vids and i just love the cozy comfort vibes of having a sleepover and getting a little flirty with your best friend/crush going on 15 years <3

"after the birthday stream" by trashcanfromgallifrey: the birthday stream ignited something in all of us but this is just such a perfect depiction of (possible) events after hehe. feels so them, just love the loving intimacy and shower activities and fluffy endings with cake <3 (shoutout hannah ily!!)

"lovers, keep on the road you're on" by possumdnp: another personal fave. japhan 2019 is EVERYTHING to me, this is so lovely and well-researched and i just go in between reading this and watching the stories from it when i want to cry and book a flight to tokyo

"welcome home! (never leave that long again)" by natigail: this one is just soooooo soft and sweet and fluffy. so heartwarming and one of the many wad reunion fics that has my heart <3

ok i'm going to end up including all 40+ of my bookmarks (not a lot. but working on it hehe) if i don't stop myself so as much as i could write paragraphs about all of these just know that my PPA test is positive and i was probably sweating/giggling/kicking my feet at all of these so here's a speedrun list of pure smut (sorry it's a lot of what i read lmao):

"juxtaposition", "slow down", "sensitive", "some kind of mood" and literally everything written by the force that is intoapuddle

"come light me up" by JudeAraya (perhap not pure smut but I loveeee the teasing and characterization in this so so dan ugh)

"appreciation" by Scuddleduck

"a little vitamin D" by Spring_Haze

"good for you, good for you" and "under my thumb" by dvp_95

"lucky" by iihappydaysii

i could keep going but for now i'm going to stop here! i'm sorry if this is messy i have no idea what i'm doing with linking and stuff but i hope this introduces at least one person to a new fic they end up loving! i lurked/read sooo many fics before finally creating an a03 account only a little over a month ago so i def might be missing some i've forgotten to go back and bookmark! shoutout to all of these writers (i could include multiple works from them all u ppl are amazing)- again i'm soo open to discovering more phanfic and want to expand my horizons, i've started to read some chaptered fics i didn't include on here but will reblog more current reads where i can! also if we're moots pls shamelessly promote your works i'd love to check them out! need to start commenting more too but ok ok wrapping it up

[aventurineswife]

The weight of the sky seemed endless as the two of you sat in silence, the gentle hum of the Astral Express vibrating beneath your feet. Sunday’s gaze was cast toward the swirling cosmos outside the window, his eyes softened by the vastness before him. His wings fluttered ever so slightly, a subtle sign of something unspoken, something held close within his heart. His halo hovered faintly above him, the eyes etched within it flickering in time with the distant stars.

Beside him, you, a fallen angel, watched as the space between the two of you expanded and contracted, as if the universe itself was breathing in sync with your hesitant connection. Once, you had both been celestial beings, bathed in light and purpose. But now, the wings that had once been a symbol of grace hung heavier, tarnished by the fall, by the choices that had been made. Your shared past was no longer a dream of peace, but an echo of something more complicated—something fractured.

It was the stillness between you that felt the loudest. Sunday’s usual calm demeanor, always so composed, now seemed like a fragile facade, as if his very presence was too delicate to bear the weight of both his idealism and his doubts. And you—your once-vibrant wings were now a muted reflection of their former glory, the loss of innocence still fresh on your soul. You had fallen, yes, but in your heart, you both knew it wasn’t just the fall that kept you grounded. It was the constant struggle to rise again, together or apart.

You had loved him once, and perhaps still did, despite the years of separation, despite the wounds that had never fully healed. His soft gaze met yours briefly, and for a moment, the distance between the two of you seemed to vanish. But only for a moment. The coldness of his self-imposed solitude crept back in, shrouding him in the same protective shell that had kept him isolated for so long.

He, the protector of dreams, the idealist who wished to escape suffering, now seemed caught between worlds—the one that was real and the one he so desperately wanted to create. You understood that pain; it resonated within you, reverberating through every fiber of your being. The loss of your wings had not been a simple fall; it had been a choice, a fracture of ideals, a departure from a reality too painful to face.

Yet in that fleeting look, you saw him—the Sunday you had known before everything had fallen apart. The one who still clung to hope, however fragile, despite the weight of his guilt. The one who believed in redemption, in healing, even when the path forward was cloaked in shadows. He was still searching, still yearning for something better, but it was unclear whether he was doing it for the world or for himself.

Your wings, though broken, still yearned to reach him. To soothe the turmoil that clouded his thoughts, to whisper the truth that you both were more than the sum of your pasts. You had fallen, yes, but you had also risen, over and over. And so had he, in his own way, struggling with his own fall.

But it was the fall that had changed you both. The quiet way you drifted into each other's orbit, two souls bound by the same celestial ache, yet bound by the knowledge that redemption wasn’t a place—it was a journey. Together, but apart, your connection remained fragile, and yet undeniable, like the stars that burned dimly yet persistently in the void.

As the train drifted further into the unknown, you sat beside him, not speaking, but knowing. Knowing that no matter how far the distance stretched between your hearts, there would always be something that tethered you both together—a shared past, a shared longing, a shared, quiet hope.

Originally was requested by someone on Wattpad but I wanted to post here too because I can and I will 🧍‍♀️🫶

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

I think one of the most important aspects of the c!tntduo dynamic is that at the end of the day, they’re both just a couple of losers