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marvelwitchergilmore · 2 months ago

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Family Tree

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> Joel is there for you when you give birth. In more ways than one.

Disclaimer: Mostly fluff, descriptions of giving birth, swearing, Joel and Reader had a one night stand. Joel being a dad to Ellie and your baby. Shirtless Joel Miller. Not Proof Read.

For what felt like the millionth time, you groaned.

Your knuckles had turned completely white as you gripped onto the door frame between your room and your bathroom.

Another contraction washed across your stomach and back once more. “Fuuuck.”

All you could do was breathe through it. And groan. How come nobody had told you childbirth would be this painful?

If Tommy didn’t hurry up soon, you might finally shoot him like you’d promised to do when you first met him.

Maybe you should have threatened to shoot Joel instead. Then you wouldn’t be in so much pain.

You could still remember when you met them, as if it was yesterday. You’d been working with the fireflies for a while. It was either them or Fedra, so…you took your chances. You’d been waiting in a building just outside of Boston waiting on two people Marlene had told you about over the radio. They’d pay you for your supplies.

Only, they got there a day late. So, as you were roaming the building for the fortieth time, you’d heard a noise. Then a male voice. One thing led to another and you ended up threatening them, stepping out as they passed you completely.

At the time, you hadn’t realised who they were. But they were definitely brothers. Same look. And you knew who was older. No man had that look in his eye if he wasn’t the asshole older brother, just trying to look out for his baby bro.

Of course, after the younger one with his hands up finally blurted out who they were, you fact checked them before lowering your weapon.

“Maybe ask us who we are before you put a gun on us.”

“Next time, don’t be late.” You told the older brother, Joel, before you walked away and picked up the supply box and dropped it at their feet.

And somewhere between then and now, you and Joel had had one too many drinks after a day of patrolling which led to a slightly regrettable, although never forgettable, one night stand.

And since that night, things had changed a lot more, too.

By the time you found out you were pregnant, you were too far along to even have a semi-safe abortion. So, you made a choice. One you never wanted to have to make because for you, no child should have to be forced into a world where they would never be safe. Even in Jackson, people could still get hurt.

And if anything happened to you, or Joel…they’d be left alone in a world without protection. At least, the kind of protection you and Joel would provide.

Joel had never run faster in his life. The moment Tommy had come running towards the back plot of land with a look on his face like he was about to pass out, Joel knew something was wrong.

“It’s Y/n…she’s…”

“Y/n? Is she okay? Tommy!” His little brother looked back at him. “Is she okay?!”

Joel couldn’t lie. Something had changed since that drunken night together. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what had changed but he’d consider going from still holding a grudge from when you nearly shot him and Tommy, to wanting to do the same to any other man who even dared to look in your direction, a change.

His nights had gone from being alone whilst his daughter slept, for the first time in her life, peacefully down the hallway to having you by his side, and Ellie having an actual family. Maybe you weren’t her mom, but you were the closest thing she had to one.

“She- she’s fine. It’s just-”

“Just what? Tommy! Tell me.”

“She’s in labour.”

One look towards the clear path and Joel took off like a shot. The hinges nearly came off the door as he burst inside, calling out your name. He heard you let out a deep groan of pain.

“Up here!”

Taking the stairs two at a time, he finally made his way into the bedroom. You’d made it from the door to the dresser by the wall, hunched over, a hand on your belly.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Hey, hey, you okay? Y/n, look at me.”

You swatted his hands away and he stood still. “I’m fine, just pushing a watermelon out of my vagina.” Another contraction. They kept getting closer.

“I’ll go and get some towel-”

As Joel turned to leave down the hall, you shook your head quickly and reached out for him. “No, no, no. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

Holding onto his hand, you squeezed it tight. He smiled and stepped closer towards you.

“We need to get you to the bed. How far apart are your contractions?”

“Uhhh,” you kept your eyes shut and swayed on the spot. If you could have ran away from your contractions, you would have done. “Maybe, like, seven-ish minutes. I don’t know. Just as one stops, I feel like I can’t recover in time.”

Joel nodded. “Okay. Think you can walk?”

You hummed as you nodded. “But quickly.”

“Okay.”

Joel tried his best to get you over to the bed as quickly as he could and helped you sit down on the edge. “I’m just gonna get some extra towels and things. I’ll be right back. I promise.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head. He’d be less than 10 normal steps away. He wasn’t leaving. But you still called after him. “Joel…”

“Yeah?”

You looked up at him. “I’m really scared.”

Joel read your expression for a moment. A lot of the time you could be harsh, or stand off-ish. That was part of the reason you and him got placed together on the patrol team. Neither of you could really stomach the others. Plus, you knew each other. You had a history.

He leaned forward, a hand in your hair and his other in your own. He kissed your head. “I know, but you’re gonna be okay. I’ll make sure of it. I promise.”

“Okay.” You believed him. You trusted him.

“I’ll be back. Just right down there.” You looked behind you before nodding and squeezing his hand once more. Then some more sets of boots tramped through the house from downstairs. Tommy and Maria.

“Joel?!” Tommy called out for his brother. “Joel? Joel! Thank fuck. We brought what we could.”

“Have you called the doctor?”

“He’s on the other side of town but we’ve sent word.” Maria told him. Joel just nodded a thankyou. “Joel?”

He looked back at his sister-in-law.

“She’ll be okay. This happens to a lot of women. And Y/n is one of the strongest. And so are you. Just be with her and you’ll both be okay.”

For some reason, that eased Joel’s mind a little. The last time he’d been in this position was when Sarah was born, and that was in a hospital surrounded by midwives, doctors and nurses. Not in the middle of the world ending.

Entering back into the room, Tommy and Maria followed. “How are you feeling?”

You laughed. “Like I’m pushing a bowling ball out of my ass.”

Maria laughed. “It’ll be all worth it. You’ll have your baby in your arms before you know it.”

“I don’t know whether to be excited by that or not.” One thing that played on your mind a lot during the sleepless nights was how childbirth would go. The act of actually pushing a human out of your body seemed way more daunting the closer your contractions got.

But you also didn’t want the contractions to continue. They were fucking killing.

“Can I feel? Just to see where the baby’s head is at?” You nodded and Maria started to press around your stomach. “How far apart are your contractions?”

“Seven-ish, ow, minutes.”

“Six.” Joel corrected as he watched another one wash over you.

“Sounds like you’re still early.”

“Early?!”

Maria chuckled a little, remembering having the same reaction the first time she gave birth. “It can take a while, especially for a first time mom.”

You looked at Joel and groaned, “Oh, fuck you. You know, why can’t we just be like seahorses? Give all the pain to the men. We go through everything else.”

“We do. We really, really do. But they wouldn’t be able to handle it. Hell, they can barely handle a cold.”

Joel and Tommy just shared a look; scared and confused if they should be slightly offended.

“What was it like with yours?”

Maria took the time to explain as she crouched in front of you. “With my second, it was a little quicker. A lot more painful, but quicker. But my first? Thankfully I was able to have an epidural so it made it easier for me, but it took a while. I didn’t even know I was in labour for the first few days.”

“Days?!”

Maria chuckled. “Braxton hicks and labour pains kinda feel the same. I’d been so panicked when I had the first lot thinking I was going into early labour that I was too embarrassed to go in again when the second round came through. Turns out they were the real ones though. Have your waters broken?”

You nodded. Then unsure of yourself. “Yes. Well, I think so. In the bathroom.”

Maria stood for a moment and walked into the bathroom, seeing the puddle on the floor. “I kinda just sat on the toilet with the rest.”

Maria nodded and came back. “Yeah, they’ve broken so that should speed things up a little at least. All we can do now is wait. Hopefully the doc gets here before your baby does. You guys thought of a name yet?”

Joel shook his head. “Not yet.”

“I kept changing my mind,” you admitted.

“Well, you guys better hurry. She’ll be here soon.”

You looked from Joel to Maria. “How’d you know it’s gonna be a girl?”

She just shrugged with a content smile. “I’m good at these things.”

“Have you guys at least decided on a last name?” Tommy asked. “I know you guys aren’t exactly together but, maybe we can just go off that?”

Joel looked to you and you looked to Joel.

“Suppose Y/l/n-”

You shook your head and cut him off. “Miller. I want them to have Miller. If that’s alright with you, at least?”

You didn’t fail to notice the look in Joel’s eye as you stood your ground for your baby to take his name. “Yeah, that’s okay. I’d like that.”

You smiled and reached out for his hand just before another contraction shot up and around your back.

“Baby Miller it is, then.” Maria smiled. “We’ll give you two a minute. Get some things ready for you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at Maria as Joel squatted down to the floor in front of you. Maria just nodded a kind smile before dragging her husband out with her. Finally, you looked back at Joel whose hand was tracing yours.

“If you’re just doing it for me, you don’t have to call her Miller. If you want to give her your last name-”

You shook your head. “I want her to have your name, Joel. Mine isn’t all that important to me anymore. But what is, is her, and Ellie, and you. You’re important to me, Joel. And I want her to know that, too.”

Joel gave a warm, teary-eyed smile before kissing your hand and enclosing it in his own. “Besides, if anything happens to me, at least she’ll have a family. She won’t be alone. I know what it’s like to be alone in this world Joel. I never want that for her.”

Joel shook his head. “Nothing is going to happen to you. And she would have a family anyway. God knows Ellie is gonna protect this kid something fierce.”

You chuckled and leaned forward a little towards him. “She is, isn’t she?”

“I know it’s uncertain between you and me, but I know you mean a lot to Ellie. You’re the first…” Joel swallowed thickly before finally looking at you. “You’re the first person, outside of me, that she’s trusted in the same way.”

“I don’t take it for granted, Joel.”

“No, I know. I know. I just…you’ve got a family with us, too, Y/n. I just wanted you to know that.”

You smiled. “Thank you, Joel.”

As Joel looked at you with that same smile you always seemed to find on his lips whenever he looked at you like that, you pulled at his hand to bring him closer. It was just a pity that as he kneeled in front of you, his hands settling on either side of your face, a set of heavy footsteps interrupted the moment.

“I’ve found some fresh towels and a hot cloth.” Maria didn’t seem to notice the moment she’d interpreted as, by the time she looked up, Joel was already on his feet.

Time just felt like it passed slowly after that. Your contractions got closer and closer, until they just didn’t seem to get any closer.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Not much should change in the meantime.” That was what the doctor had told you before he left. Maria ignored him.

“They all say that and then show back up after you’ve caught the baby in your hands. I’ll stay for a while if you’d like.”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll be okay. I think he might actually be right on this one.”

“Okay, but if something happens just send Ellie over. And I’ll be over in a second.”

You nodded, gripping Joel’s hand again leaving him to answer for you. “Thank you, Maria.”

As Maria left, Ellie came back inside with another hot cloth and handed it to Joel.

“I never want to have kids.” Ellie said as she took in the sight before her. “It looks fucking painful.”

“Ellie.” Joel said.

“What? It does.”

Joel wrung out the cloth over the cold bowl of water beside him before he pressed it around your face and down the back of your neck. “You need to try and get some sleep.”

You nodded, already feeling exhausted. You doubted you’d be able to sleep through any of the pain you were experiencing at that moment. Maybe you’d just pass out finally.

“So should you.” Joel said, turning to Ellie.

“But I wanna stay.”

“Ellie, I’d only keep you up. You’ll know when I’m giving birth.”

Ellie groaned and eventually Joel got her into bed. “Are you sure Y/n will be okay? Aren’t there meant to be doctors and things at one of these?”

Joel nodded as he tucked her in. “Usually. But a lot of women, you know, have home births. Do it all naturally. No painkillers or anything.”

“Really?” Ellie grimaced. “Why?”

Joel shrugged. “Some just didn’t want them. Others believed it made them stronger, or made their baby healthier.”

Ellie thought about her next question before she asked it. “Did Sarah’s mom have painkillers?”

There was a question Joel never thought he’d be asked. Especially by Ellie.

But Joel answered honestly anyway. “I think she asked for them to give her all the drugs they had. I just remember the hospital calling me telling me to get there quickly.”

“Did you get there in time?”

Joel nodded, a distant smile on his face. “Yeah. Saw her come into the world. Then it finally hit me that I was a dad. Remember holdin’ her for the first time, too. She was so tiny. Had a pair of lungs on her, too. And when the nurse came in, she told me to take off my shirt. Something about skin to skin contact.”

Ellie chuckled. “Yeah, sure that was the only reason.”

Joel rolled his eyes and gave her the look, even if part of him agreed with her.

“But she’ll be okay?”

Joel nodded. “She’ll be okay.”

Ellie relaxed a little. “Okay.”

“Now get some sleep. You might not be getting any for a while with a newborn in the house.”

She nodded and Joel switched off her light before pressing a kiss to her head as he stood and tucked the covers around her some more. “G’night.”

“Night.”

By the time Joel made it back into your bedroom, he found you sat up against the headboard, your leg bent up as the other lay flat and your hands holding onto your belly as you breathed out.

“It took me since you went with Ellie but I’m a little comfortable.”

Joel smiled. “I’m glad. You need anything?”

You shook your head and breathed out. “No. Just sit with me?”

“I can do that.”

Kicking off his boots, Joel walked across the room and sat next to you, placing an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him. Then you reached for his hand and placed it at the bottom of your belly.

“That’ ‘er head?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

Joel smiled. Then he admitted something to you he hadn’t really said to himself out loud before.

“I never thought this would happen again. Having a kid.”

You looked at him, a slight sadness in your eyes. “Really?”

He shook his head and leaned back, your hand still over his on your belly. “After Sarah…hell, even before. I remember holding her and just never wanting to take her outside of the hospital. She was my whole world. And after her mom left us, I was her’s.”

You leaned back yourself and watched Joel as he talked about his daughter. It was rare he ever talked about her, rarer when you first met him.

“Guess I was happy with how things were for us, I never…never considered having a family bigger than me and her. And after she…” You could see him getting choked up. You held onto his hand.

“After she died, it never crossed my mind again. Guess I found a family in Tess but I could never bring myself to tell her as much. But…I dunno. I just never saw this happening.”

You chuckled a little. “What? Having a one night stand with a woman who once threatened to shoot you and it resulting in a child?”

Joel chuckled, too. “Yeah, guess so.”

Silence washed over you both for a minute and then you let a question fall from your lips that you’d been thinking about for a while.

“Do you regret it? What happened?”

“No.” Joel didn’t even have to think about his answer. “Not for a second. Do you?”

You answered honestly. “In the beginning, kinda. Not us. Just…I suppose not being careful. I never wanted to raise a baby in a world like this. Constantly on edge, fearful of leaving them alone and defenceless. But…I don’t know. I know the world won’t ever be cured but…I’m glad this is happening. For both of us.”

A contraction shot through you.

“Even if it means dealing with this shit.” You leaned forward and Joel’s hand came to your lower back, rubbing light circles.

“If only we were seahorses.”

You laughed but hit him on the arm. “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts already.”

“Sorry,” Joel held back his own laugh.

The next few hours passed very much in the same way. Truthful conversation and contractions. Until you gripped onto Joel’s hand.

“Joel. Joel, Joel, Joel.”

“Hey, okay, take it easy? What is it?”

“I feel like I need to push.”

He shot up. “What?”

“I-I need to push. I – ahhh. Jesus, fuck.” Your hand slapped against his as you reached out to hold onto him. The contraction died away but you could already feel another one building. “You, fuck. You need to look.”

“I-”

“Just look.”

“Okay.”

Getting up, Joel rounded the bed and flicked the light on before helping you bend your knees. Pushing up the gown Maria had helped you into, he examined you as best as he could. “Oh, shit.”

“Oh, shit? What ‘oh, shit’? Oh, shit. Is something wrong?”

Joel shook his head, trying his best to remain calm. “No- sorry, wrong…wrong words. But you’re crowing. She’s crowing? You’re in labour.”

“What?”

“Give me your hand.”

You did so and Joel guided it to touch where your baby’s head was already showing.

“Oh, shit,” you looked at Joel. “Oh, shit. Maria. Get Maria.”

“ELLIE!”

The teen came tumbling out of her bedroom instantly. “Go and get Maria!”

“Already there!” Ellie yelled as she tumbled down the stairs and towards the front door.

You cried out in pain as a contraction built up again. “Oww, Joel.”

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay.”

“Joel, you’re gonna have to deliver her.”

Joel didn’t know whether to beg you to cross your legs or agree. Thankfully he, in fear, went with the second option.

“Okay.”

“Hold my hand.”

It all seemed to happen in a matter of seconds. Joel held onto your hand as you gave the last couple of pushes before he helped pull your baby the rest of the way out of the birth canal. Reaching over and grabbing a fresh towel, he gently patted her dry whilst she cried out, clearing her lungs completely.

“Hey,” Joel was already crying. “Hey, I know. I know, baby girl. You can see your momma soon.”

Joel did everything he could from what Maria had told him a few hours prior. You just cried.

“Baby girl? It’s a girl? We have a girl?”

Joel looked up at you and nodded, a wide smile on his face. “We have a girl.”

You cried even more.

Tying off the umbilical cord before cutting it, Joel then carefully lifted his daughter in his hands before handing her over to you. Neither you or Joel could see clearly from the amount of happy tears.

“We have a daughter.” Joel told you as you finally held her in your arms for the first time. “I’m so proud of you.”

For as much as you wanted to look up at Joel, you couldn’t tear your eyes from her face. You always wondered how people could tell who a baby looked like more, so early after they were born. But you just saw Joel.

“Hello, you.” You pressed a gentle kiss to her head, hearing her cries settle as she listened to your voice. “I’m sorry if you heard a lot of swearing. Me and your dad are kinda new to this whole part of the process.”

Joel chuckles as he knelt by the bed, his arms around both of you before pressing a kiss to your temple. Then you had visitors. Ellie rushed in first, then Maria, then Tommy.

“Wait, we missed it?”

“Guess she just wanted to say hi to everybody.”

Maria walked slowly over before sitting by your legs. “Oh, she’s gorgeous, Y/n.”

Tommy came and clapped his brother on the back, tears in his own eyes. “Man, how’d you feel?”

Joel couldn’t find the words, then he saw Ellie. “It’s okay. You can come and sit down.”

“I…I don’t wanna hurt anybody.”

You and Joel shook your heads. “You won’t hurt anybody. Ellie, look at me. I promise.”

You gestured to the empty spot of the bed beside you. “Come and sit with me.”

She looked to Joel for final confirmation and he nodded, so, being extra careful as she did so, she joined you by your side.

“She’s so tiny. And red. Is that normal?”

All the adults nodded. “It’s the pressure, from being pushed.” Maria explained. “It’ll go down in a little bit.”

The next couple of hours was spent dealing with the shocks of afterbirth that nobody decided to tell you about, the doctor checking you over and giving you advice (Maria’s was better) before it was finally just you, Joel, Ellie and your little girl in your arms.

“How do you feel about being a big sister, Ellie?”

“Scary. She’s so small.”

Joel smiled, his hand reaching over your shoulders and stroking the back of her head. “Crazy to think you were that small once.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

A few more moments passed in silence before Ellie got up and asked you and Joel to stay in your room.

“What for?”

“I have a surprise, but it’s not ready yet. Just…don’t come out until I say, okay?”

You and Joel looked at each other and back to her. “Okay.”

And as the door shut, you eventually turned to Joel. “Wanna hold her? Maybe skin to skin? Maria said it helps with their happiness levels or something.”

Joel nodded before sitting up and removing his shirt. Carefully, you handed your daughter over to him and watched as he walked over towards the window with her laying on his chest.

It was the most wholesome and somehow the hottest sight you had ever seen.

Joel Miller, shirtless, rocking his newborn daughter into a peaceful calmness as she slept. Very carefully, you reached over and told Joel to stay put as you grabbed the camera from the bedside table and snapped a picture of them both.

“Do you think I’ll be okay at this?” You asked Joel after a moment or two. “You’ve got two daughters already, but I’ve never actually had to raise a baby before. Do you think-”

Joel walked back over to the bed before sitting down to face you. “I think you’re a great mom. You’ve just given birth without any help. It’s gonna take some time getting used to everything, but that’s what Ellie and I are here for.”

“What if I screw up? The world is bad enough as it is.”

Joel shook his head. “Not one person knows how to be a parent when they first become one. Each kid is different, each baby is different. Even with Sarah it took me months before I thought I was doing something right. Trust me, you’re already doing great.”

Holding onto Joel's hand, you smiled.

“Looks like we know who’s putting her down for a nap.”

Still on Joel’s chest, you saw the first little smile grace your daughter’s lips as her little lungs let out a content sigh against her dad’s chest.

“You’re like a walking, talking, human heater.” You added.

And for the next ten minutes, you just sat there, watching Joel hold onto his daughter as she slept soundly on his chest. An image that would never leave your mind for as long as you lived, but would also update as time went on.

By the time Ellie opened the door, she took one look at Joel and gave a small laugh. “Not just the nurses then, huh.”

You were a little confused but Joel just smiled. “You finished yet? Or do we still have to wait?”

She smiled. “No, you can come and see now.”

“I might be a while.”

Ellie rushed forward. “Let me help you.”

And she did.

It might have taken twenty minutes to get out of bed and down the hallway towards the baby’s nursery, but you all got there eventually.

Ellie kept the door shut and turned around before helping Joel fix the blanket draped over his shoulder and chest, keeping your daughter warm.

“If you don’t like it, I can take it down or redo it.”

“I’m sure we’ll all love it.” You smiled at her, and she smiled back as she looked across her family.

“Okay.” She went to open the door but closed it once more. “Close your eyes? I’ll guide you inside.”

Joel had to turn around as she guided you inside before he closed his eyes and let Ellie very carefully lead him to your side. You could both hear her shuffling around the place, making sure everything was tidy.

“Okay, now…open.”

Both you and Joel did so before taking in what was in front of you.

On a shelf that Joel had put up less than two days ago, sat a freshly carved and burnt family tree. Each root led from the bottom of the tree to its own branch with a name on it. Joel, Y/n, Sarah, Ellie and in the middle was your baby girl’s name.

“I-I know we’re not all blood but, I-I just wanted her to have something that showed she has a family.”

You were already crying, and when Ellie looked at Joel, she couldn’t gauge his reaction. “I…If you don’t like it-”

Joel was quick to shake his head. “I love it, Ellie. Thank you.”

Reaching over, you pulled Ellie into a hug that at first she was reluctant to return, she quickly melted into. “Sweetheart, it’s beautiful.”

“She’d love it, too.” Joel told Ellie and she awkwardly nodded with a smile. Neither father nor daughter had to exchange any more words than that. They both knew.

They also knew that, every time they walked into the nursery, that tree was more than proof that you were all a family. Maybe you weren’t all blood. Maybe you and Joel hadn’t gotten together in the most conventional way, but you were all a family.

And nothing would ever change that.

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