idunnodudeijustwokeup

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

the Justice League's identities all get publically leaked but before the dust has settled someone on twitter is like 'OMG i can't believe you guys are actually buying this obviously fake leak. look at this 'Billy Batson' person's birthday, he would only have been 11 years old when Captain Marvel started operating? how are you people so dumb'

immediately throws the whole thing into doubt. everyone going over the other ID information looking for other potential discrepancies. 'they expect us to believe Superman is some journalist called Clark Kent? they don't even look alike' and 'look at this Hal Jordan guy next to Green Lantern their facial structures aren't the same at all' and 'this Diana Prince woman has NO web presence, I don't think she's a real person'

'Bruce Wayne? c'monn how stupid do these peple think we are' etc etc

someone brings up that Wally West is clearly too young to have been operating as the Flash the entire time but then people from Central City are like no no that one might be legit, it's common knowledge locally that there's been more than one Flash.

this sparks the idea that perhaps the original Captain Marvel died or retired and was replaced with a new guy at some point. another whole group of people now scrutinising images of him trying to identify when the '''''switch'''' happened.

someone doing a deep local newspaper archive sweep turns up a photo of CC Batson accompanying a story abt his archaeology work, everyone agrees that Captain Marvel has his exact face, takes 0.2 seconds to join the dots that he officially died not long before Captain Marvel first appeared and Billy is his son. 2 Captain Marvels theory, previously dismissed as nonsense by most reasonable people, now looking very plausible.

whatever group leaked the identities absolutely steaming bcos their data is good damn it, everything in there is 100% factually correct and no-one is buying it ):<

Justice League and associates (initially sweating) now just pouring fuel on the fire. Oracle has made dozens of sockpuppet accounts to spread chaos and discord. official Flash account insisting that actually everyone is mistaken and he's definitely 100% been one guy this whole time. Lois Lane on twitter like 'do you guys think I wouldn't know if my husband was Superman'.

absolute pandemonium.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Titans #21 (DC, March 2025) variant cover by Amy Reeder

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

tegoroczne faworyty nie wszystkie i nie po równo ale tak taki highlight na 2024

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

On a battlefield, for one reason or the next Barry has lost his powers temporarily

Barry: Fuck, the fight is way over there *squints into the distance*

Bruce: Now you know how I feel, let’s get going

Barry: Can we hold hands?

Bruce: …

Bruce: Sure

Barry: *happily humming as they walk toward the battlefield, holding hands with Batman*

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

obsessed w jason as robin refusing to snitch to cops 😭

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Whenever his kids are being little shits, more so than usual, Bruce will definitely go on social media and make problems

The public loves the batboys but Bruce Wayne will always be their #1

They rally around him immediately and in 2.5 seconds all the batboys being canceled is trending on Twitter

Bruce enjoys it a lot but shuts down any posts that are genuinely offensive, racist, or suggest that Bruce should’ve never adopted them

But other than that, he loves seeing his kids annoyed faces when people online are telling them to be nice to their Dad.

——

Bruce: *posts a video to Twitter. He’s sniffling and teary eyed with a wobbly smile on his face, obviously trying not to break down and cry* Hey Twitter… d-does anyone know how to make your kids n-nicer to you *sob* n-nothing happened… I just… never mind I’m sorry about this. T-they’ll be mad at me if they find out. I don’t want them mad again *phone falls onto the bed and muffled sobbing is heard before the video abruptly ends with the sound of the the batboys busting in and yelling at Bruce*

Dick: Bruce! I lost over 10 thousand followers! What did you do!?

Bruce: *wiping his tears away with a stoic face* What do you mean Chum? I haven’t done anything

Tim: *screech from the ether* BRUCE! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Bruce: You’re all so mean to me *surpressing a grin*

Jason: This is exactly why I deleted my account

——

This happens like twice a year. Sometimes more if they’ve really been pissing him off.

On the downside, all of his kids refuse to go to any Gala with him, so he’s gotta suffer alone. They refuse to be in front of the media until it all dies down

Bruce makes them some brownies and allows them to pick their patrol route for the next week for forgiveness

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

I am of the firm belief that Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen are genuine best friends and have been since high school so I’m picturing, when Bruce first becomes Batman, he has a meeting with Oliver to discuss ‘Brucie’

Bruce: Oliver?

Oliver: Hmmm?

B: Oliver I need to tell you something.

O: Shoot

B: For the rest of my life, I’m going to convince the public that I’m a total idiot

O: Won’t need to do much convincing but sure…

B: 😐

O: 🥱💅

B: 😑

O: Oh! Your serious???? Why?????

B: 😓🤔🤗🦇

O: ???? Bruce?

B: oh no reason *just fucking leaves*

O: What- Bruce! Why?!

The next day Bruce Wayne makes out with someone in public, comments on Lex Luther’s ass and nearly gets hit with a bus

No one is more confused than Oliver

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

We know how Dick would react to Donna's death, there is an entire run on how Dick would react to Donna's death: badly. But how do we think Donna would react to Dick's death ?

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

when they put babies in little sleeping bags... petition to make the entire world colder... we need to stop global warming

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Bat Drabble - "Fallen Through the Ice"

((Day 26 of @fluff-cember, a little more Dick and Donna for @idunnodudeijustwokeup!))

Donna saw Dick drop when part of the bridge collapsed, but knew better than to immediately worry. Dick Grayson spent half his life falling, and only sometimes on purpose. There was no major cause for concern in him doing so now, or even in him delaying using his grapple until he had grabbed an imperiled civilian first.

The worrying part was when he let go of the grapple, leaving the civilian safe but him headed straight towards the icy river with no obvious means of escape.

Donna dove hard and managed to grab him right as his feet went through the ice.

“Nice catch,” she said sarcastically as she headed for more solid ground.

“The support wouldn’t hold both of us,” Dick said matter-of-factly. She had figured as much, assuming Dick wouldn’t just let go without a good reason, but that didn’t make it less hearstopping to witness.

“So what was your plan? Do not say me,” she added before he could answer.

“Well I thought joining the Polar Bear Club would be fun, but turns out I got cold feet.”

Donna did not feel remotely sorry about dropping him back on the bridge, especially when Kory caught him instead.

((Crossposted to AO3))

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Dick has the skills of various circus artists. Of course, not at the level of professionalism that he has with the trapeze, for example, but still, he has many other skills that he learned as a child.

We know from a comic that he has "fast hands", he can practically steal anything if the other person is distracted enough.

His ability to escape the sight of others? He must have learned it from an illusionist.

Surely Batman already had a base on which to work with his aim. Obviously Dick practiced knife throwing in the circus.

Some things are useful in battle, and others are just for fun (like him juggling to entertain Jon, and probably many other kids). Maybe he also knows how to make shapes with balloons? (His siblings probably loved watching him do circus acts, even if they would never admit it).

Let's not even talk about his uncanny ability to stuff things into the non-existent pockets of his suit. ✨M A G I C✨

You can't tell me that he stopped practicing everything that wasn't useful to him in combat.

He just kept practicing every single thing his first family taught him, his way of staying close to them.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

love when you stop a cat from doing something and instead of understanding that they shouldnt be doing that theyre just like. ah sorry my good sir you seem to have interrupted me. no worries let me just shimmy past you and get a taste of that pan of hot oil. please.

[idunnodudeijustwokeup]

Dick is a pretty boy. Everyone knows it, except him.

There is an unwritten rule about not hitting him in the face, everyone follows it, (even from his time as Robin some people already followed this rule). His siblings when by miracle they train together. His team when they get together to practice strategies and fighting methods. Even the damned villains and evildoers know not to hit the pretty bird in the face.

Dick never finds it strange. Somehow, he thinks it's simply because people have learned that punching him in the face isn't really going to stop him, if they're looking to confuse him, hitting the back of his head is more effective.

It's not until a drug dealer accidentally hits him in the nose for the first time in years, breaking it, that he notices something strange. How could he not? The battle stops for a moment because his companions start yelling at him, telling him that his face is off limits, and the dealer apologizes.

Dick barely blinks and stops them, then goes to his apartment to clean up the blood, the pain not even bothering him at this point. That's why he doesn't understand why not only his team makes a fuss about it the next day, but they even call his siblings to tell them what happened. He's not even that hurt ??????

The only other person who doesn't make a fuss about it is Batman, who has punched Dick in the face enough times to find it odd. Nobody is happy with Batman upon discovering that fact.