#internalized stuff
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Tunisian miku 🇹🇳👍
#hatsune miku#vocaloid#international miku#miku worldwide#habiba miku if you will#my art#fennec.art#ik im a little late but a while passed wuthout seeing anything for my culture#which is to be expected but i wanted to do smth#anyway this is very simple and extremely non exhausive we have soooo many different stuff and SO much jewellery that i could not be bothered#but i kept the most recognisable silhouette#this was fun !#this trend is rly nice i think
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This friday sucks super bad so far.
#vent incoming#my boyfriend is having super bad time and it's strongly related to me yet not my direct fault and the only way i could remove#myself from the equation would be completely get out of theor life. and even then i don't believe it would help. there's so much#internalized stuff#bad family stuff#overall so many bad things pilled up one on another that are centered at the topic of identity#and such that yes. i could leave. but then will it help with the homophobia or transphobia he's facing? if he goes back into closet how#will it help if the base of the problem is still there?#i can't help if he doesnt leave and find a space where his parents have no say. i asked him over and over again to go to a psychiatrist#ive been asking him to do it for over a year. and he has a barrier that makes sharing hard for him but for the love of the saints he needs#help from someone who is qualified to do it. i asked him to choose his doctor so he can be most comfortable. i offered to pay for the doctor#in case he has no money. i try so hard to pull him out of this place of self blame and of blame he receives from his parents#from anyone else#i try so hard to let him know he can ask me for help. i try to make him feel comfortable and safe. i want future with him and he made m#me think he wanted it too but today he told me that he doesnt know if getting together woth me was a good choice. and even if he breaks up#with me i will know that all of it is going to stay the same#i really dont know what to do. how to help. how do i make everything better if i cant do anything about his family and his home? he goes#back there and i immediately start worrying about him. he told me he doesnt feel safe in that town and i cant do anything. i cant convince#him to move out. i cant convince him to drop this old life. i feel so helpless
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For International Asexuality Day, I'm hitting you all with the Ace Beam. ☺️
(This took a lot more effort than I thought it would, lol...)
Edit: 800 notes?! In less than five hours?! Thank you all so much!!
Edit 2: 2000... The most I got on any post before was just over a hundred, lol. You are all so nice!
#pixel art#sprite art#fighting games#neo geo pocket#street fighter#ryu street fighter#hadouken#asexual#asexuality#international asexuality day#i dub this move: museiai hadouken#i know i've not discussed myself on this blog much#but i am asexual!#i'm not really “out” but more in the sense that i don't really need to be#my family's pretty cool about all that stuff lol#and yes i personally headcanon ryu as ace#just hits the vibes ig
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you know the art you made of Soap "accidentally" giving Ghost a kiss before going on a mission? (before they started dating) what do you think happened when Soap came back from the mission? :3c
follow up to this post
They start dating of course! <3
#ask#anon ask#u were so right to ask for a follow up to this one#ghostsoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soap x ghost#ghoap#doodle#cod fanart#my art#soap has been mortified the whole mission#like blowing stuff up and doing his job while internally having a constant monologue of ‘why did I do that??? will everything change now??’#just gay panic while war crimin’#meanwhile ghost has just been waiting to kiss soap back 😌#this comic is the 6323489th time i've smooshed them together and made them start dating. its still fun!
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So I’ve been joking for a while about how Inko manages to afford all of Izuku’s AM merch
But I decided to nerd out and look closer, and I’m pretty sure the only expensive piece Izuku owns is the poster he got from Sir
You might think his dorm looks absolutely stacked
but that’s only because it’s a very small room and he brought every piece he owns
If you look in his old room it’s all the same posters
so he’s owned it all for at least a few years, he’s been working up to this for god knows how many years, just to be the proud owner of 5 posters so basic even he would put tape on them
All of his figures are less than 50$
One of which he’s had since he was a child
And it doesn’t look like the other unidentified figures are anything special either(except maybe AM in his yellow suit)
Izuku only has generic fanboy shit, like maybe one of the posters is a custom but I honestly I don’t think he owns a single special anything
The dead guy poster is 100% the coolest thing he has, no wonder he’s so reverent about it 💀
As for fits this is all we’ve really seen is
So yeah Inko isn’t dropping stacks on merch, I’m pretty sure those sweaters were a 2 for 1 deal because they’re almost identical 💀
#the Midoriya’s have green everywhere but their bank 🙃#he probably got all his merch at Walmart#starting a gofundme for Izuku so he can get better merch#AM is the most popular hero in their world like he has international appeal so you know his stuff is a dime a dozen#my hero academia#mha#bnha#boku no hero#deku#izuku midoriya#all might#toshinori yagi#inko midoriya#if there’s one thing I know it’s that if there’s a demand for something in both Japan and America#then you can’t throw a rock without hitting that things merch#if you create something that gets popular in both countries you get sent a lil metal that says ‘’You won capitalism!’’
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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DP x DC prompt [16]
Danny has been with the Wayne’s for a while now and his status as a halfa is starting to affect some things he comes in contact with a little bit.
At first he thought this only happened back in his old home in Amity Park because the ectoplasm samples were kept in the fridge, and though that does speed up the process, it turns out Danny causes the same things to happen just fine on his own. It just takes a lot longer.
This means he now occasionally has to replace or decontaminate some of his things every once in a while. and with the electronics the same applies but usually the protections that Tucker has made do the trick too.
Danny has been very careful, he never borrows anything that’s highly susceptible to ecto-contamination from the others and whenever he needs something from the kitchen he just goes to Alfred (he really doesn’t want to see how the old man might react to the coffee machine starting to act weird because of Danny). Just, the last thing Danny wants to do is inconvenience the Wayne’s by ecto-contaminating something of theirs.
It’s really only when Danny slips back into vigilante-ism that things go sideways.
And Danny really tried. His obsession is space, not heroism, so he figured he’d be fine just focussing on his education. But he kinda forgot about the fact that he just really really loves being a hero.
He loves the thrill, the danger. He loves giving a smackdown and just in general having a good fight, he loves helping people, he loves being a force of good. And yeah, he kinda also likes the praise, but nothing weird and overbearing (some people go way too far in their hero worship, but that’s a story for another day)
So after some back and forth and arguments with Bruce who, contrary to popular belief, was absolutely not thrilled that his latest traumatized kid who was being kept safe in the mansion so far now decided that no, he wants to be part of the family business too please.
Danny eventually threatens to just go out anyway without any of his help and that just gives Bruce flashbacks to the time when he had just taken Dick as his ward. Not to mention some of his other kids and… dammit.
Well then… Danny can go explain things to Jason himself once he finds out and is probably going to be mad about it, Bruce is not taking the blame this time.
So Danny (name pending, he could just go with Phantom again, but he also wouldn’t mind using something bird or bat related) gets back into the game once again! And that’s fine that’s cool. But back to the original point.
Danny figured that he would just do what he’s been doing so far with any bat gadgets as well, and maybe it would be even less of a problem cause he’s pretty sure that these things break a lot more often because of all the fights and stuff.
What Danny had not really thought about though is potential intense high emotion situations. Like for very specific example; Scarecrow taking an obsessive interest in him because of Danny’s ghostly ability to feed on fear (somewhat) and the situation getting out of hand, him getting very hurt, Batman having to carry him out of there while Danny was kinda bleeding a bit (a lot). Bruce being worried and Danny wanting to be anywhere but there anymore and-
Well, you get the point.
So, take all that and add high tech bat armor and what you get is suddenly sentient batsuit.
It actually took a bit for anyone to catch on that something was going on, but it was eventually figured out. and once that was the case Danny couldn’t really help his seemingly endless stream of apologies.
But how can anyone ever blame him for bleeding out on Bruce and the weird reanimative properties of said blood making it so Bruce’s suit can now “talk”
Bruce described it more as like a martian mind link, which would explain why only he could hear things. it’s probably only for the wearer.
It can’t move on it’s own, it needs someone to wear it. But it can sense things and react for the wearer and honestly all that alone is more than enough reason to find a way to exorcise it… if not for the whole,
“but if it’s a sentient ecto entity now we can’t just ‘kill’ it, we literally abolished the anti ecto acts just so that can’t be done anymore”
it’s probably a good thing the suit has grabbed all the ‘Batman’ and made that what it is. All the core values are there, so there isn’t going to be any risk of it killing someone at least.
Still though… what to do now?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#dp x dc#batman#bruce wayne#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#I love living armor situations in fics#maybe they can move BAT from the suit and just put him in the computer instead#Jason probably had a internal screaming moment when he saw the white eyes of Batman's cowl glow Lazarus green instead#maybe way later he figures out that the reason why it's always such a relief to put on a new Red Hood helmet after he breaks the last one#is cause he keeps ecto contaminating his own stuff
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Anyway, here's Bashkir Miku 🐎
#vocaloid#hatsune miku#international miku#art challenge#bashkortostan#i'm probably late to the trend but this was fun and reminded me that i like the folk costumes of my republic a lot <3#used to wear this stuff as a kid for dance performances and i kinda miss the boots ngl#folk clothing#artists on tumblr#krita#digital art#eye contact
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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I spent too much time on this.
"Arm chopping is not a love language." - Nimona Movie
#he's not fine#internal monologue#solas#veilguard#meme#nimona movie#watched it last night#could not get this out of my head#my stuff#comic#arm chopping is not a love language
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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#BundesTag#headlines#german stuff#(news in short for the international followers: There's a lion on the loose in Berlin. no it didn't escape the zoo no one knows where from)
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When I said Spain were violating child Labour regulations I didn’t think they actually were 😭
#lamine yamal#sure someone’s already shared this but help 💀#just rest him for the game man let him do his homework 😭#euro 2024#spain nt#I’ve actually looked more into this and it is a real law albeit unlikely to be enforced and €30k is a pittance in international football#just funny that if he plays it IS technically against German child Labour laws#but then again so was his debut for Barcelona’s 1st team when he was 15 so ! carries.#<- not to be misconstrued as being a hater I’m being tongue in cheek#wish all the best to him he’s a great young talent etc etc but yeah. Barcelona and Spain’s track record wirh teenage players does irk me#a little. hope we see some global restriction on professional minutes for minors but that’ll never happen 🤷♀️#it all feels great doing stuff young for your age when you’re 16 but then you turn around a few years down the line and realised it was#fucked up and you missed up on so much social development#praga
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When I was a child, I watched an episode of Criminal Minds where a man had a split personality. A woman who killed other women who threatened the man she formed to protect. I remember her sitting in the dark on a couch, a cigarette in hand beside a lamp, as she spoke to an Agent about why she had to kill them, that it was to protect him. It was her entire purpose for existing.
As a child, I used to pace empty halls in the middle of the night and lay in bed, repeating in my mind that I would be the only being in my body. I will not break into multiple people. I will be in control. I have to be because, at the time, I believed I could break into those monstrous plurals you see on TV. The ones that killed their family after years of neglect, abuse, and wrongdoing. The ones you should be afraid of ever becoming, no matter who you are or your situation.
So I became terrified.
And yet, nearly every night, I'd look up at the sky or the ceiling and beg for something to change—to not be alone. I was stuck pretending I was a different character, a type of escapism that sometimes got out of hand, lost in an identity that wasn't my own. Looking up and imagining being taken away, every character I adored was by my side, caring for me in return. I had to keep going, be them, and exist in a world with them.
I'd made up stories, different realities, and places in my mind to escape to, as well as explanations for things my underdeveloped brain couldn't comprehend in the place I found myself within. I clung to concepts, characters, and situations that reflected my own, and soon, I no longer felt alone—not with all the escapism I conjured up, not with the different identities to help me face what was happening.
But I was in control. I was one being. No matter what. I had to be a single being because that was good. I had to be good.
I would never hurt anyone, and being many meant being bad. I couldn't be bad.
When I was a teenager, I started researching and getting involved in minority and disabled spaces. I loved being informed, the stories, the many perspectives, and the complexity of humanity. So it was no surprise when I shared a plural headcanon with a friend, and they felt safe coming out to me. They were many. They took my hand and guided me through a community I was fascinated with and wanted to aid and represent like so many others.
I spent years learning, staying silent as others spoke, just listening to everything I could. But then, one day, like so many others, I spoke through a different facet, a different identity I had created as a child. The many faces of me represented things I could not be, I could not hold, nor could I handle. I was struggling; some of me wanted to lash out. So she did. She lashed out.
As always, I was faced with kindness, listening ears, and aid that then pushed me more to the surface from drowning. But I never left; just another part of me was lost, right? Of course. People are complex. I deal with my emotions in a complex way. Of course.
My plurally disabled friend watched as I became more comfortable speaking through the identities I had, whether they were facets of myself or characters that helped me. Soon enough, the continuous "role-play" and "emotional processing" developed into normal conversation, a comfort, a relief.
They kindly approached me and asked if I was a system, too. They had never met anyone who spoke to themselves like I do, definitely not any singlets. None of our other friends did, in person or not, not even people in our families. It was just us.
The fear from my childhood arose. I couldn't be multiple; I couldn't be more than one. It was bad. But hadn't I learned about Plurality? All its ups and downs? Its complexities and nuances? I accepted it wholeheartedly; I learned and evolved from the demonized perception I was given as a child. So, why was it still bad?
Because I must be lying; I must be a fake, a poser. It was the only reason, wasn't it? I had seen so many conversations and arguments about fakes, those who wished to be special. Had I somehow become the harm they spoke of? How could I do this to a community I swore to listen to and fight for?
I obsessed over it, forcing the panic, dissociation, habit, and ease of speaking in multiple identities and beings of myself away. I buried it as deep as I could for the betterment of everyone else. The community didn't deserve such harm, and I wouldn't bring it to their doorstep if I claimed it to be something I'm not.
The loathing became so present it formed into tics that caused aches and disruptions in my life. Multiple stressors--along with an identity crisis--will do that to someone. So my shoulder and neck muscles ached from shrugging, flexing, and all the repetitive movements I couldn't stop without crying from the suppression. So I didn't. I let it disrupt and hurt.
Then, one day, someone, some random, unknown system to me out in the world, spoke about how it didn't matter what was real or not; it didn't hurt anyone. Plurality and the belief of it didn't hurt anyone. It hurt no one to discover themselves, to test the waters, to simply pry into yourself and learn. There was no shame in figuring yourself, or yourselves, out. There was no right or wrong, nothing to be ashamed of or fearful of. Just another part of living.
So I did. I poked and prodded. I gave my parts names, spoke to them in the middle of the night, asked questions, got to know them, and learned we couldn't talk through words at first but could emotions and sensations. I realized I couldn't find where my Plurality started or where it ended, that we—oh god, we—the idea was so surreal but...comforting—were so combined, living without specific individuality outside of me that there was no separation in sight. Not that I could figure out. For so long, I believed everything was just me. Only me.
But now it was someone else, too. These things that made no sense, these things that felt out of place or special, unique, and ever-changing could be someone else.
Someone else.
The more I reflected, learned, applied, and prodded, the more things made sense. Until one day, I looked at my friends, held my breath, and spoke. Stated that it like it was a sin for me of all people to say.
I was plural.
No one blinked an eye. No one questioned it outside of boundaries and clarification. It wasn't surprising that their childhood friend was many. How surprising could it be when they used so many different names for different parts of themselves to express hard things?
It was astonishing.
And here we are, years and years later, grown and still learning, living, fighting, but more in touch with ourselves than ever before with so many more sys friends and aquatints. More experiences, a better understanding.
It's not shameful to learn, apply, and reflect. You take nothing from anyone but your time and open-minded exploration of the world and yourself(ves). There is no evil in being human, living life, phase or not. There is nothing wrong with you, any of you, for existing or living. You just are. I embrace you, I embrace us, and I embrace everything that comes with a life of many.
So, if you're struggling, just know you're not alone outside the body. We know, and so do many others. It's going to be okay; you'll find yourself in time. Don't rush it. There will always be time.
#🪶: atreus#🕯️: orange solace#sysconversation#plurality#plural system#endo safe#syscussion#plural pride#plural community#actually plural#system pride#system things#system stuff#tw // internalized pluralphobia#ask to tag#We are heavily dissociating writing all this out#We hope someone benefits from us sharing this
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