#intense desire unhealthy obsession all consuming need

[sharky-teeth]

i'm sorry but romantic wincest will NEVER do it for me

[strwbrymlkshake]

LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere L Lawliet Headcanons (General)

"I'm always two steps ahead of you, if not more, my sweetie." — L Lawliet.

❝ 📓 — lady l: watching Death Note again and commenting with a friend, I ended up thinking about it and decided to do some L headcanons, because I love him! 🖤 ​​Hope you like it :) 🤍

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, stalking, unhealthy relationships, mention of kidnapping.

❝📓pairing: yandere!l lawliet x gender neutral!reader.

L Lawliet is very scary because he is very smart. A detective, the best detective. He is very good at reading people, at his deductions. There is no running away from him, he will always find you.

He was already stalking you before you even knew it. Before you even knew about his existence, L was already after you. Always behind you, watching you and gathering as much information about you as possible.

L knew about everything you. What was your childhood like, your fears, your desires, your dreams, everything. There is no privacy at all with him, he wants to be able to read you like a book and he does. There's nothing he can't figure out eventually.

He began to appear in your life slowly and normally, for you at least. He just seemed like an ordinary guy who needed some sleep and straightened out his back, but that was it. You had no idea who he really was, how obsessed he was with you.

L has morals that can be easily corrupted when he becomes obsessed. He believes that he is justice and he does in his way, which is not always the right way to do it. He firmly believes in justice above all else, his justice.

He doesn't believe that what he feels, that the things he did for you are considered wrong. L is delusional enough to believe he is right, but he will never do anything against your will. He respects you enough for that.

L is a natural stalker, it's one of his hobbies as a detective. Although he doesn't persecute you in the literal sense of the word, he usually sends Watari to watch you and accompany you somewhere. Whether it's going to school or work, he'll have his butler protecting you.

He won't risk your safety, especially with Kira on the loose. You're not a criminal, but L won't take any risks. He's never made a mistake before and it won't be you he makes a mistake with. Not when one mistake could cause your death.

Always very careful, L would only reveal himself to you when he was sure he would have your trust. He is very, very manipulative and will make you trust no one else but him. Not even your family could be as trustworthy as L. He would definitely lock you up at home if he could.

L has cameras in your house, all aimed at crucial points in your house. In your bedroom, in your living room, in your kitchen, everywhere there is a camera watching you. It had become a habit for him to spend hours a day looking at the images, waiting for you.

He's not the possessive type, but L has his limits and won't tolerate someone approaching you with ulterior motives. He is very quick to think, to deduce that there is someone interested in you and he will quickly push them away from you. He usually uses his manipulation for this. L is not in the habit of killing and will never do so unless it is really necessary.

Once his obsession consumed him for good, L could no longer remain but shadows. He could no longer remain in the background, watching you take risks every day, he needed to do something. And he did, during one night, you woke up in an unfamiliar room and with a pale guy, sitting in a strange way, staring at you intensely. You were finally with him.

You may think you're smarter than him, that you can get away from L, but he'll always be two steps ahead of you. You have nowhere to run. L would finally have you and he wouldn't let you go.

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

ugh I love your content, yandere marvel just gets met going like for real.

Okay so I would want to request platonic yandere hank maccoy x reader, this man is so under rated and I love him so much

SAVIOR COMPLEX

pairings ⸺ Yandere! Hank Maccoy x Fem!reader

¿Request? Yes!

This is a Headcanon!

warnings ⸺ mdni! Dark themes, violence/death, blood, insolation, Fluff, invasion of privacy, scars, delusion, Angst, ¿OOC Hank? Idk, fights, Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Gaslight, Mental Illness, Corruption, Isolation, Paranoia, Manipulation.

sinopsis ⸺Hank McCoy, the charismatic and brilliant mutant known for his intelligence and imposing appearance, hides a dark and possessive side that emerges after falling in love. His devotion to his beloved is unwavering, leading him to obsess over her well-being and safety. While his love seems genuine and protective, his need for control becomes evident in every decision he makes: restricting her freedom, driving away anyone who might threaten their relationship, and marking her with traces that demonstrate his dominance. Every smile you give him is a reminder of his fervent desire to keep you by his side, but behind his sweet facade lies a palpable fear of losing you that consumes him and transforms him into an unyielding lover.

A/N ── English is not my first language—Spanish — Well, it took me a while to upload this, but not out of laziness or anything concerning; I just went on vacation for a week to explore a bit, and since I was going to many places, I couldn't write due to exhaustion. But here is the request. Once again, I apologize for the delay.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... remembers the first moment he saw you as if it were yesterday. You arrived at the mansion, trembling and wrapped in a thin white blanket that barely covered your battered body. Outside, it was raining, and the drops tapped against the windows in the silence. Your sobs mingled with the echo of thunder. Your eyes, swollen from crying, searched for some trace of comfort in that strange and gloomy place. He felt a pang in his chest but kept a prudent distance. He knew that his appearance could be intimidating. But one of the mutants who had brought you asked him to take care of you while he went to find help.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... sat down next to you with a mix of shyness and concern. He watched you in silence, searching for the right words to comfort you. However, every time he tried to say something, your only response was sobs. Until, unexpectedly, you cuddled against his chest. He felt your body tremble against his, and his heart began to race. In that instant, he decided he would do everything in his power to protect you. No one would hurt you again.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... grew fond of you as he helped you in your recovery. He spent nights in the lab, mixing ointments and designing specific treatments for your wounds. Every time he placed the bandage on your skin, he noticed how his fingers trembled slightly, feeling a mix of tenderness and a fervent desire to be your only protector. The night you tearfully told him about your kidnapping and the trials that had turned you into a mutant, his heart hardened. A dark spark was born within him. "No one should go through that," he whispered, taking your hand. No one would touch you without his permission.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... enjoyed showing you every corner of the garden. "This place is our little refuge," he said, and you noticed how his eyes grew increasingly intense when he fixed them on you. He showed you the most hidden nooks, the secret places only he knew. "Here, we are alone," he murmured softly, while you only thought it was a kind gesture. For him, however, it was a statement: his promise that no one else would know you like he did.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... organized private dinners with you every night, a perfect excuse to have you all to himself. He lit the table with candles, and his smile seemed kind and warm. "It's perfect, isn't it?" he would ask as he served you. His eyes locked onto you every time you laughed, and in those moments, a dark satisfaction washed over him. No one else could make you smile like that. No one else could make you feel safe like he did.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... became your confidant. He never let a night pass without inviting you to talk, encouraging you to share your fears and dreams. "I will always be here for you," he whispered, and you simply nodded, grateful for his company. But every time you mentioned someone else, whether in a trivial story or in simple conversation, you noticed how his gaze darkened slightly. Sometimes, you couldn't help but feel an overprotective presence in his words, but you always attributed those thoughts to your imagination.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... felt a burn in his chest the day he saw you talking to another mutant, laughing, as if you could trust someone other than him. He approached and forced a smile. "Who is he?" he asked, keeping a casual tone, but feeling his insides boil with jealousy. When you told him he was "just a friend," he couldn't help but tense up. No one was "just a friend" to you.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... decided he had to act. He couldn't risk losing you. So, when that "friend" of yours got involved in an unfortunate accident during a training session, no one suspected Hank. He watched as they took him to the medical wing, with a dark sense of triumph pulsing in his chest. Now no one would come between you.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... always found an excuse to be near you. Every time you entered the lab, he was there, offering you help or even preparing new "experimental" treatments that ensured he saw you often. "I don't want you to feel lonely," he said, and in his voice, you could perceive something between sweetness and a strange pressure that you couldn't quite define.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... finally, one night under the stars, mustered the courage to confess his feelings to you. "You are everything to me," he whispered in an almost reverent tone, taking your hand and squeezing it. "No one else can take that place. No one else would understand the love I feel for you." His eyes, shining under the moonlight, looked at you with an intensity that seemed to possess you.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... gradually moved you into his room, first arguing that it would be easier for him to supervise your recovery. "So you can rest and not have to wander the halls at night," he explained softly, holding your hand with a mix of affection and a barely perceptible pressure. At first, he placed an extra bed next to his, assuring you it was just temporary. But night after night, he began to inch closer, until it became a routine to share his bed. You slept together as if you were a married couple already, and although you never spoke of it directly, Hank acted as if it were the most natural thing in the world. In the mornings, he would wrap his protective arm around you, holding you close while whispering, "You know? Here, in my arms, I feel like nothing could harm you." It was in those moments of silent intimacy that Hank allowed himself to imagine a future where you were his wife, his companion forever, someone whom the other X-Men would recognize as his.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... adored seeing how the other X-Men began to treat you with the same respect and deference they had for him, but now with a nuance indicating that you were someone special to Hank. He noticed the respectful glances from his teammates when you appeared by his side, and that filled his heart with a dark and possessive pride. You are mine, he thought, feeling a strange satisfaction in seeing how others accepted you in that role without questioning it. With every gesture, every smile, every knowing glance from the others, Hank felt that his dream of marrying you was ever closer to becoming a reality.

Yandere Hank McCoy who...ensured that you were comfortable and protected in his bed every time you cried from nightmares. Some nights, you would wake trembling, reliving the traumas of the past or the dangerous missions you had experienced. He would hold you tightly, cradling you against his chest, his claws gently stroking your back in an attempt to calm you. "I'm here, love. No one will hurt you," he would whisper in a hoarse voice, allowing the weight of his own body and presence to soothe your fears. In those moments, his thoughts intertwined with an intense concern and a need to protect you from everyone, even from life itself outside those walls.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... felt a deep desire to be with you in every way, but at the same time feared his own mutation. He knew that within him existed a bestial ferocity that he always tried to control. He didn't want that side of him to scare you or hurt you in a moment of intimacy. So, as much as he longed to consummate his love for you, he held back, caught between his yearning and the fear of losing control. Every night, his thoughts revolved around this internal struggle, and he often woke up in a cold sweat, desperately wishing he could love you without reservations.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... suffered deeply the day you returned injured from a Sentinel attack. It wasn't your first mission, but when he saw you stagger through the door of the mansion, supported by Ororo and covered in wounds, something within him broke. He rushed to you, his gaze tinged with desperation, holding you tightly as he took you to the infirmary. His voice trembled as he said, "You shouldn't have gone out, I shouldn't have let you go... Oh God, what would have happened if you hadn't come back?" For days, he stayed by your side, caring for each of your wounds, tormented by the idea of losing you. That experience convinced him that you would never be in danger again as long as he could prevent it.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... forbade you from going on missions after that incident. "I don't want you to suffer again," he told you, with an intensity that made it clear there was no room for negotiation. In his mind, this was the only way to protect you. He offered you an alternative, one he considered much safer and more satisfying: to become a teacher for the young mutants. Teaching them basic skills, stories of famous mutants, and values, always within the safety of the mansion. "This way you can use your abilities without risking yourself," he explained, making sure the idea seemed an act of care and not control.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... began to fantasize about the idea of having a family with you. Watching you interact with the children, hearing you laugh and care for them with such tenderness awakened a deep desire in him, a vision of a future where you and he shared something more. His relentless and obsessive mind began to draw images of children who would inherit both your sweetness and his intellect. He didn't want a large family, but a small one he could call his. In his vision, you would always be under his care, in the safety of the home he would build for you. Thus, night after night, Hank dedicated himself to his dreams and the obsession of protecting you, as his love grew darker and more possessive. Every time he held you while sleeping, his barely audible whisper sealed his intentions: "Nothing and no one will separate us, love. This is our destiny."

Yandere Hank McCoy who... finally gathered the courage to propose to you one special night. He had organized a dinner where several young X-Men, like Jubilee, Kitty, and Bobby, were present to celebrate with you. Everything had to be perfect, or at least that was his hope. But, as was customary among the young, the evening was somewhat chaotic. There were laughs, jokes, and some accidents with the food, details that could have irritated him on any other occasion. However, that night he was so focused on you, on your laughter and your smile, that nothing else mattered. At the end of dinner, with trembling hands and a gaze filled with an almost unsettling devotion, Hank knelt before you. He still remembered the pressure in his chest as, with a voice laden with emotion, he said, "Will you marry me?" Time seemed to stand still as everyone present watched, holding their breath. When you whispered a tearful "yes," Hank felt as if the entire universe was finally in harmony. He wrapped you in his arms, and that night he felt that his life finally made sense: you were his forever.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... couldn't wait another moment and soon begged Nightcrawler to marry them, eager to formalize what he considered the most sacred bond of his life. “Kurt... please, make it official,” Hank implored, his voice trembling but resolute. Kurt, holding a special license to officiate, observed the intensity in Hank's gaze. Although he had certain reservations, he agreed, touched by Hank's insistence and the depth of his feelings—or what appeared to be love— The ceremony was simple, with their mutant friends and colleagues gathered around. As you exchanged vows, Hank looked at you as if you were the light he had been seeking all his life. When the final "yes" escaped your lips, his heart surged with a potent blend of euphoria and obsession. At last, he knew, no one else could claim you, no one could approach you without his permission. You were his in both body and soul, bound to him for eternity, and he would do anything necessary to keep it that way.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... after the wedding, let his possessive and dark side flourish without restrictions. He no longer tried to hide it; every time someone approached you, he would step in with a cold glare and a low growl in his throat. At first, he only intervened subtly, but over time, he began to visibly push everyone away from you, ensuring that no other man or woman dared to even look at you with interest. The confidence with which he distanced you from any conversation or group began to unsettle you, and when you tried to discuss it with him, he would only hold you tightly, whispering reassuring words but filled with an unbreakable authority: "You are mine... I don't need to share you with anyone."

Yandere Hank McCoy who... every night, when you were with him in intimacy, let that wild side he worked so hard to hide from the rest of the world out. His need to possess you became physical, and he didn't hide the pleasure of seeing you marked with his imprints: light bruises and scratches that he saw as proof that you were his and no one else's. In those moments, his voice turned deep and dominant, his words a mix of promises and warnings: "Never forget that you belong to me, and you are mine." Although you said yes to calm him, in your mind doubts and a silent fear accumulated, fearing that this side of him would grow more than you could bear. It no longer mattered that he took you in his beastly body; he knew you loved him, so he made love to you fiercely while your nails scratched his blue back.

Yandere Hank McCoy who... began to control every aspect of your life, limiting your outings and ensuring that if you had to interact with anyone else, it was under conditions he could supervise. He only allowed you to go out on special occasions and under his watchful eye. He came to fantasize about the idea of taking you to a secluded place, away from everyone, where you could live together, where he could make love to you without fear of you crying out in pleasure, away from prying eyes. Often, he spent sleepless nights considering the possibility, imagining a life where you only existed for him, where no one else could come between his love.

In his moments of deepest obsession, he would hold you tightly while whispering, "One day, my love, we will have everything we've always desired. You will be only mine, and together, nothing and no one will be able to separate us."

A/N ─── I made it very short, but I wanted to try new things. I’m not sure if you like it when I add a bit of light NSFW to the headcanons; if so, please let me know in the comments. I’m trying to experiment a bit with different styles and themes, so your opinion would be very valuable to me.

Hank needs love ♡ I really like his personality and appearance; he's my guilty pleasure u.u Sometimes I feel a little bad about how much I admire him, but at the end of the day, we all have our secrets, right? His mix of intelligence, loyalty, and that dark side that occasionally peeks through fascinates me. I'm excited to explore more of him in my writing. Don’t forget to leave your comments because I want to know what you think and what you would like to read more of in the future.

Thank you for your constant support; it means the world to me. Love you all!

Feel free to ask me anything if you want. Just go to my profile and message me; I always read your ideas and requests.

Take a Bath!

[saylessastrology]

Obsession Indicators in Synastry 💋🔥💫

In synastry astrology, certain aspects between two individuals' birth charts can indicate a potential for obsession within a relationship. These aspects suggest an intense and all-consuming dynamic that may border on unhealthy attachment. It's important to note that the presence of these aspects does NOT guarantee obsession, but rather highlights the potential for such dynamics to manifest. Here are a few synastry aspects/astroids that may contribute to feelings of obsession:

Venus/Pluto Intense Aspects: Challenging aspects (such as conjunctions, squares, or oppositions) between Venus and Pluto in synastry can create a powerful and transformative connection. However, it may also lead to possessiveness, jealousy, and an intense need to control or possess the other person. This aspect can foster a deep emotional bond that may border on obsession.

Sun/Pluto Intense Aspects: Challenging aspects between the Sun and Pluto in synastry can create an intense and magnetic attraction. There may be a strong desire for power and control within the relationship, leading to feelings of obsession. This aspect can bring forth deep psychological transformations, but it also carries the risk of becoming possessive or manipulative.

Moon/Pluto Intense Aspects: Challenging aspects between the Moon and Pluto in synastry can bring about intense emotional experiences and a deep emotional bond. However, it may also lead to emotional manipulation, power struggles, and a tendency to become fixated on the other person's emotional state. This aspect can create an emotionally charged and potentially obsessive connection.

Mars/Pluto Intense Aspects: Challenging aspects between Mars and Pluto in synastry can generate a strong sexual attraction and a sense of intense passion. However, it may also lead to power struggles, control issues, and a tendency to become obsessed with dominance and manipulation. This aspect can create a dynamic that oscillates between intense desire and power dynamics.

Moon/Neptune Challenging Aspects: Challenging aspects between the Moon and Neptune in synastry can create a highly idealized and romanticized connection. While it may initially feel like a fairy tale, it can also foster unrealistic expectations and a tendency to become emotionally enmeshed or obsessed with the other person. This aspect can blur boundaries and lead to emotional dependency.

Amor: The asteroid Amor is often associated with deep and passionate love, which can border on obsession. When prominent in synastry, particularly through conjunctions or strong aspects to personal planets, it may indicate an intense infatuation and fixation on the other person.

Eros: Eros is an asteroid associated with erotic and sexual love. In synastry, strong Eros connections can create intense sexual attraction and desire that can sometimes verge on obsession. This asteroid's aspects to personal planets, especially Venus, Mars, and Pluto, can indicate a strong magnetic pull and a heightened intensity in the relationship.

Juno: Juno is an asteroid associated with committed partnerships and marriage. While not necessarily indicating obsession on its own, Juno's aspects to personal planets can reveal patterns of possessiveness, jealousy, and a desire to control or be controlled within the relationship. These aspects may suggest a potential for obsession to develop.

Nessus: Nessus is an asteroid associated with issues of power, control, and abuse. Its aspects in synastry can indicate unhealthy dynamics and potential for obsession, manipulation, and even abuse within the relationship. Caution should be exercised when interpreting Nessus aspects, as they can signal toxic patterns.

[tinytinyblogs]

Where do you think you're going, darling?

Running away doesn't seem like a good idea, because in the end, they will always come after you.

⚠️ Yandere theme, unhealthy obsession, Kidnapped and a lot more⚠️

ChanMin, BinHyun, HanLix, SeungIn

Stray Kids Masterlist

Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨

Changbin

Changbin's gym sessions had become a predictable routine, something you observed meticulously, committing every detail to memory. From the time he left to the exact duration of his workouts, you tracked his movements with unwavering focus. It was during these precious moments of freedom, when he was away and the oppressive weight of his presence lifted, that you dared to entertain thoughts of escape. After weeks of careful planning, you seized what you deemed to be the perfect opportunity. As Changbin headed off to the gym, you sprung into action, your heart pounding with a mixture of fear and anticipation. This was your chance, your one shot at freedom. With every ounce of determination, you raced against the clock, pushing yourself to run faster than you ever had before. Each step carried you farther away from the suffocating grasp of Changbin's control, closer to the possibility of a life without fear and confinement. The adrenaline coursing through your veins fueled your escape, propelling you forward with a sense of urgency that bordered on desperation. You didn't dare look back, afraid that any hesitation would cost you the precious seconds you needed to evade capture.

As fate would have it, a series of unfortunate events or perhaps the overwhelming surge of his emotions propelled him to abandon his customary gym routine and hasten back home with a sense of urgency that bordered on frenzy. His heart pounding with a mix of agitation and determination, he burst through the door only to witness your fleeting departure. Instantly consumed by a whirlwind of rage, his voice erupted in a primal roar that echoed through the walls, reverberating with the intensity of a thunderclap. Fuelled by a cocktail of frustration and desperation, he dashed recklessly in pursuit, his steps pounding the pavement like a drumbeat of fury, as he resolved to catch you at any cost, heedless of the chaos unfolding around him. As your feet pound against the pavement in a frantic rhythm of escape, a cold shiver dances down your spine as you sense his looming presence drawing nearer, a relentless specter of dread gaining ground with every stride. It's as if the very air thickens with his malevolent aura, amplifying your terror to feverish heights. Life's unfair hand seems to deal its cruelest blow as he effortlessly outpaces you, his form a blur of raw power and unstoppable determination, a force of nature closing in on its prey.

Your heart races like a drumbeat of desperation, each step an agonizing reminder of your dwindling hope. And then, with a suddenness that steals the very breath from your lungs, his hand clamps around your waist like an iron vice, wrenching you back with a strength that defies comprehension. You struggle against his grasp, but it's like fighting against a force of nature, futile and doomed to fail. In an instant, you find yourself hoisted over his shoulder, your world reduced to a dizzying blur of motion and fear. His laughter, a chilling symphony of dominance, echoes in your ears as you're carried back to the place he calls home—a place that now feels more like a fortress of nightmares. With a brutal thud, he casts you down onto the cold, unforgiving floor, the weight of his presence pressing down upon you like an insurmountable burden. The door slams shut behind you, sealing your fate in a chamber of dread and despair, a prisoner to his twisted desires. "I thought you loved me," he spat out, his voice a volatile cocktail of fury and wounded pride.

"Why the hell are you running away like an idiot?" his voice thundered, the sheer force of it enough to make you flinch, as if the sound itself could fill the entire room, suffocating any semblance of escape. Yet, behind the facade of his words, lay the labyrinth of his delusions, where reality twisted to fit his desires, where your every action was an affirmation of his imagined devotion. In his mind, your attempt to flee was not born of desperation or a longing for freedom, but a mere whim, a frivolous game to entertain your bored spirit. That fateful night became a twisted symphony of pain and dominance. He left behind a trail of bruises, each one a dark reminder of his power, etched onto your skin with the cruelty of his touch. With a cruel manipulation of his abilities, he twisted the very fabric of your thoughts, implanting the notion of escape as a forbidden fantasy, a whisper that would forever be drowned out by the cacophony of his control. "You better love me as much as I love you now," he declared, his voice a venomous hiss, fingers clenching around your trembling hand, nails digging into the tender flesh of your bruised skin.

"But fear not, my dear, for we are bound together for eternity." His grip tightened, the pressure of his hold a silent threat, as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. "And if you dare to forget your place," he whispered, each word dripping with malice, "I will show you the true depths of my affection. I will teach you how to love me, my dear, in ways you never thought possible." In that moment, the night became a twisted carnival of horrors, a realm where love and cruelty intertwined, and you found yourself ensnared in the web of his obsession, with no hope of escape.

Hyunjin

Amidst the fury of the storm, Hyunjin lay ensconced in the cocoon of slumber, blissfully unaware of the tempest raging outside, a cacophony of nature's wrath that served as a cloak for your desperate flight. Soaked to the bone, each step taken under the deluge felt like a battle against the elements, your body shivering with a mix of cold and fear, yet propelled forward by an unyielding resolve to break free from his suffocating hold. With the first light of dawn, Hyunjin stirred from his sleep, only to find the emptiness that now pervaded the space where your presence once dwelled. His heart, once buoyed by the illusion of your affection, now plummeted into the abyss of despair, aching with the rawness of loss. Fuelled by a toxic concoction of desperation and obsession, he embarked on a quest to reclaim what he perceived as rightfully his. With a charm as beguiling as it was deceptive, he navigated the labyrinthine streets, weaving his web of manipulation with the finesse of a seasoned predator.

Each inquiry, each whispered plea, served as a thread in the tapestry of his pursuit, drawing him ever closer to his elusive prey. And then, as if guided by some twisted fate, he stood before you once more, a sinister grin twisting his features as he watched your trembling form, the flicker of horror in your eyes igniting a primal thrill within him. In that moment, as you found yourself ensnared within the clutches of his grasp, the truth dawned upon you with chilling clarity: escape from him was not merely a physical feat, but a battle against the very fabric of reality itself, a futile endeavor doomed to end in surrender to his insatiable appetite for control. Despite your valiant efforts to wrench free from his vice-like grip, his hold remained unyielding as he dragged you back to the oppressive confines of his domain. Each struggle only seemed to fuel his determination, rendering your attempts at escape futile in the face of his relentless pursuit. With a forceful shove, he propelled you back into the room, the resounding echo of the door slamming shut behind you sealing your fate once more within its suffocating embrace.

In the eerie half-light, his figure loomed, a distorted silhouette of vulnerability and despair, tears carving rivulets down his anguished face as he confronted you with raw emotion. "Why did you leave me like that?" His voice cracked with the weight of his heartache, the pain of abandonment etched into every syllable. His eyes, once filled with adoration, now pleaded for answers amidst the chaos of his shattered reality. A chilling declaration escaped his trembling lips, each word a dagger plunged into the fragile silence between you. "I'll kill myself in front of you if you dare to leave again, If that happens, it's entirely your responsibility." he vowed, tears cascading unchecked down his cheeks, the sheer desperation in his gaze piercing your very soul. In that harrowing moment, as you stood ensnared by his torment, the lines between captor and captive blurred, intertwining in a twisted dance of obsession and despair. It became painfully clear that escape from him was not merely a physical feat but a battle against the abyss of his fractured psyche, a labyrinth of madness from which there seemed to be no escape.

Since that pivotal day, he clung to you with an almost suffocating intensity, his presence an inescapable force that enveloped you like a heavy fog. His need for control knew no bounds, manifesting in a relentless vigilance that bordered on obsession. With a manic fervor, he installed security cameras in every corner, their watchful eyes serving as a constant reminder of your dwindling autonomy. Every move you made was scrutinized, every word measured, as if you were a pawn in some twisted game of his own creation. His hands, once gentle and loving, now held you in a vice-like grip, as if afraid you might slip through his fingers like sand. But it was behind closed doors that his true nature unfurled like a poisonous flower, revealing the depths of his manipulation and deceit. When your back was turned, his smile twisted into a sneer, his eyes glinting with malice as he reveled in the power he held over you. "Damn, These locks aren't enough" he muttered darkly, his frustration boiling over as he slammed the door shut with a resounding thud.

"They'll understand their place soon enough," he vowed, his voice laced with a chilling certainty that sent shivers down your spine. In that moment, as you stood trapped in the suffocating grip of his control, the realization dawned upon you with terrifying clarity: escape from him was not merely a physical act but a battle against the very essence of his being, a battle that threatened to consume you whole if you dared to defy him.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Robb Stark Would Include:

His yandere traits are loyalty, devotion, possessiveness, and obsessive behavior. He is intensely loyal to the person he loves, he would do anything for you, he is very possessive and he does not like sharing his loved one with anyone, he is obsessed with you and he wants you to be with him all the time.

He is completely devoted to the one he's in love with and willing to do anything to ensure your safety and happiness. He will go to extreme and sometimes violent measures to protect you from any perceived threat or harm, even if it means eliminating those who stand in his way.

He may become obsessive, controlling, and even violent in his efforts to keep you all to himself. He may also exhibit a strong sense of loyalty and dedication to the person he's in love with, willing to do anything to ensure you are his even at the expense of his own well-being. He may be emotionally manipulative and even use physical violence to get what he wants, justifying it as being for the well-being of the one he loves.

He may also have a distorted sense of morality, seeing his actions as justified in order to achieve his desired outcome. He may also exhibit a desire for total control over you, believing that he knows what is best for you and being willing to do anything to ensure that you follow his plan, even against your will. He may be overly protective of the one he loves, wanting to shield you from the world and any possible harm or danger, to the point of limiting your freedom and autonomy.

He may also demonstrate a complete lack of empathy and a disregard for the feelings of others, perceiving everyone as competition for the affection and attention of the one he loves. He may become completely consumed by his obsession and resort to extreme measures such as murder, kidnapping, or imprisonment in order to protect or control you. In short, he is driven by a deep-seated love for the person he's in love with, but his actions may become irrational, even deranged at times, all in the name of protecting you and making you his.

He may also experience extreme levels of anger and anguish when you show any signs of rejecting him or showing interest in someone else. This can often lead to violent bouts of anger and sometimes even physical violence towards those who stand in the way of his love or the person he is in love with. He'll even feel the need to control and manipulate you in order to ensure your loyalty and devotion to him, even at the expense of your own agency and independence. In general, yandere have a very intense and unhealthy attachment to the object of their desire.

He has a deeply rooted fear of abandonment, causing him to become obsessive and irrational in trying to ensure that you never leave him. He tries to keep you close to him at all times. He may also demonstrate a lack of respect for boundaries and personal space, as he tries to assert his dominance over you. Furthermore, he may exhibit different extreme and unpredictable moods, ranging from extreme possessiveness and jealousy to intense feelings of love and adoration for his beloved.

He will become more possessive, possessive, and overbearing, with little regard for the feelings or desires of others the longer you are together. He may exhibit extreme paranoia, believing that others are trying to take you away from him, which can lead him to take drastic and violent measures to protect you. He may become extremely emotionally volatile, alternating between extreme love and rage, and even resort to stalking or kidnapping you. All of his actions are rooted in a twisted form of love and loyalty, with the aim of keeping you all to himself.

Most of what goes on in his head can often be difficult to control or express in a healthy manner. This can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, and even violence, as he struggles to cope with his emotions and express them in a healthy way. He'll become hyper-focus on the person he's in love with, making you his whole world and neglecting the needs of others.

He may have intense feelings of jealousy towards any person or thing that threatens to take the attention and affection he gets from you away from him. He may feel deeply insecure and threatened by the thought of you being with someone else, leading him to become possessive and even controlling in his attempts to ensure you remain focused on him. He may feel a deep sense of unease and anxiety when not with you, making it difficult to regulate his emotions and think clearly.

He may experience resistance to his actions and attempts of controlling you. Others may try to reason with him, appeal to his logic or emotions, or even resort to direct confrontation in an attempt to stop his actions. This resistance can be frustrating and difficult to manage, and it may lead him to lash out in anger or become more forceful and controlling to get what he wants.

He will be deeply passionate and affectionate with the person he loves. He'll express his affection through displays of physical affection, such as cuddling, hugging, and kissing. He'll attempt to show his affection through thoughtful gifts or gestures that demonstrate how much you mean to him. He'll also express his affection through constant attention and desire to be with you, always wanting to be close to you and wanting to spend time with you.

He'll have an exaggerated sense of entitlement towards the person he loves, feeling that you owe him your love and attention. This can lead him to exhibit manipulative and possessive behaviors, seeking to control and limit your interactions with others in an attempt to ensure your exclusivity to him. He may attempt to isolate you from your friends and family or act in a controlling manner to limit your access to other sources of support and social interaction. This excessive sense of entitlement and possessiveness can make it difficult for him to recognize your autonomy and right to your own feelings and life choices.

He may struggle with feelings of inferiority or insecurity, leading to a need for control and an excessive reliance on the person he loves for validation and reassurance. He'll become overly dependent on you for his sense of self-worth. His intense fear of abandonment or rejection can lead to emotionally manipulative behavior and controlling actions in an attempt to keep you close to him.

He could be prone to engaging in unhealthy and maladaptive behaviors that are destructive to himself and the person he loves. This could include self-harm, substance abuse, excessive spending, or other risky and self-sabotaging behavior. He becomes obsessed with his idea of the person he loves and struggles to accept or see you for who you really are. This could lead him to have unrealistic expectations, setting himself up for disappointment and further hurting himself and the person he loves. Ultimately, he will exhibit unhealthy and potentially harmful behaviors that are detrimental to his mental, emotional, and physical health

He may have difficulty forming healthy relationships with others, due to his extreme attachment and possessiveness towards you. He may find it difficult to trust others or let them get too close to him, for fear of them taking him away from you. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness and can be further exacerbated if the object of his love is unwilling or unable to reciprocate his feelings. This can lead to a vicious cycle of unhealthy behavior and emotions, further fueling his desire to control and possess the one he loves.

He'll exhibit stalker-like behavior, following and shadowing you. He will constantly keep tabs on your whereabouts and activities, trying to control and monitor your actions. He will become obsessed with understanding your thoughts and feelings, going to extreme lengths to gain access to your personal belongings or accounts. Even if you express a desire for privacy.

He'll experience intense feelings of anxiety and insecurity when separated from you. He will seek constant reassurance about the stability and security of your relationship and may not be able to function or make decisions without first consulting you. He may constantly fear that you are not as invested in your relationship as he is and may become overly suspicious of your motives and behaviors when you are not around. While this can sometimes be beneficial if it leads him to notice something that may be harmful to the relationship, it can also lead to accusations and suspicions that harm your emotional connection.

In the beginning, he may experience a distorted sense of reality and a warped understanding of what love is. He'll slowly use fear, manipulation, and even violence to control and possess you, believing that these actions are necessary for your safety and protection. He will use emotional blackmail and guilt-tripping to control you, conditioning you to accept and even feel happy or grateful for his controlling behavior. This can damage your sense of self and self-worth, as you are made to believe that your only value is in pleasing and providing for him.

Voyeurism: He enjoys seeing you in vulnerable and intimate moments, such as when you are changing clothes, using the bathroom, or sleeping. He seeks out opportunities to spy on these precious moments, either by installing cameras in private spaces or by trying to sneak a peek when you are not expecting it. The thrill of getting caught or discovered may also be enjoyable to him.

Dominance/Submission: He wants control over you and the power to make you submit to his will. He takes on a dominant role in your relationship and uses a range of tactics to control and manipulate you, he may also derive pleasure from seeing you in submissive positions, such as kneeling before him or taking on submissive roles in sexual acts. The sense of ownership and control over you can be immensely thrilling to him.

Sadism/Masochism: He may enjoy seeing you in pain or discomfort, either physically or emotionally. He may seek out opportunities to inflict pain or discomfort on you, in the form of hitting, beating, whipping, or even emotionally abusing or bullying them. The pleasure he gains from seeing your suffering can be erotic and arousing to him. He may also be willing to inflict pain or discomfort on himself, either because it feels good or because it helps him to express himself.

Bondage/Discipline: He may be turned on by the idea of physically restraining or disciplining his love. The sight of you in chains, ropes, or other restraints can be arousing and exciting to him.

Fear Play: He also enjoys seeing you experiencing fear or anxiety, such as when you are nervous or shy about something or when you are faced with a dangerous or uncertain situation. Seeing you in this state can make him feel powerful and in control of you, and the thought of protecting you from the fear or dangers of the world can make him feel possessive and dominant.

[limerence-lovee]

Limerence Unveiled: The Science of Passion's Spell

In the realm of human emotions, there exists a phenomenon that transcends mere infatuation or admiration. It's a state of mind so intense, it can be likened to a spellbinding force—this is limerence. Delving into the intricate web of emotions and psychology, this article aims to unveil the science behind limerence, its manifestations, impacts, and the fascinating interplay between the brain and the heart.

What is Limerence?

Limerence, often described as an overwhelming and obsessive form of romantic attraction, goes beyond conventional infatuation. Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, limerence encapsulates the state of being consumed by thoughts of a specific person, often accompanied by a deep longing for reciprocation. In essence, it's an intense emotional experience characterized by euphoria, anxiety, and an insatiable desire for emotional reciprocation.

The Science Behind Limerence:

At its core, limerence is deeply rooted in neurobiology and psychology. Research suggests that limerence activates areas of the brain associated with reward, motivation, and addiction, such as the ventral tegmental area (VTA) and the nucleus accumbens. These regions release neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which contribute to the euphoric sensations and intense attachment experienced during limerence.

Moreover, studies utilizing neuroimaging techniques have revealed that individuals experiencing limerence exhibit heightened activity in brain regions associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), further highlighting the obsessive nature of this phenomenon. This hyperfocus on the object of affection often leads to intrusive thoughts, rumination, and an overwhelming need for proximity and validation.

Also Read - Limerence Unleashed: The Magnetic Charm of Passion

Manifestations of Limerence:

Limerence manifests itself through a myriad of behaviors and emotions, each serving as a testament to the profound impact it has on an individual's psyche. These manifestations may include:

Intrusive Thoughts: Individuals experiencing limerence often find themselves consumed by intrusive thoughts revolving around the object of their affection. These thoughts can be incessant and intrusive, disrupting daily life and productivity.

Emotional Turmoil: Limerence is characterized by a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from euphoria and elation to anxiety and despair. The intense highs and lows experienced during limerence can be emotionally exhausting and overwhelming.

Idealization and Obsession: The object of limerence is idealized to an extraordinary degree, often perceived as flawless and possessing divine qualities. This idealization fuels the obsessive nature of limerence, driving the individual to seek constant validation and proximity.

Fear of Rejection: Despite the intense longing for reciprocation, individuals experiencing limerence often grapple with a profound fear of rejection. This fear can stem from a deep-seated insecurity and the belief that their worth is contingent upon the approval of the object of their affection.

Impact of Limerence:

While limerence can be exhilarating and all-consuming, it also carries profound implications for emotional well-being and interpersonal relationships. The relentless pursuit of validation and reciprocation can lead to unhealthy behaviors, codependency, and an inability to form meaningful connections outside of the limerent relationship.

Furthermore, the transient nature of limerence often gives way to disillusionment and heartache when the object of affection fails to meet the idealized expectations. This disillusionment can trigger a downward spiral of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt, exacerbating the emotional turmoil experienced during limerence.

Understand This:

limerence represents a captivating yet complex facet of human emotion, offering insight into the intricate interplay between biology, psychology, and interpersonal dynamics. By unraveling the science behind limerence, we gain a deeper understanding of its profound impact on individuals and relationships. Ultimately, acknowledging and navigating limerence with empathy and self-awareness is essential for fostering healthy emotional connections and personal growth in the realm of love and romance.

[princessmia-tarot]

Hi Mia, how are you? I was wondering if I can get a reading on my love life in the near future? And also what my next relationship will be like? Thank you! - JD

Hello JD,

I'm here to assist you. Let's explore your love life in the near future and what your next relationship might be like, using the Devil card. Please note that the Devil card is often associated with temptation, bondage, and materialism, but it can have different interpretations in the context of love and relationships:

Love Life in the Near Future (The Devil):

The Devil card suggests that there may be some complexities and challenges in your love life in the near future. It's possible that you could encounter a relationship or situation that feels intense or even a bit addictive. Here are some key points to consider:

Intense Attraction: You may find yourself drawn to someone with whom you share a powerful and magnetic attraction. This connection could be both exciting and all-consuming.

Cautionary Note: The Devil card also serves as a cautionary symbol. It suggests that you should be mindful of any tendencies to become overly obsessed or fixated on someone or something in your love life. It's important to maintain your independence and not lose yourself in the relationship.

Challenges to Overcome: This card can indicate that there might be some challenges or obstacles in the relationship. These challenges could be related to issues of control, possessiveness, or unhealthy attachments.

Personal Growth: While the Devil card can indicate difficulties, it also presents an opportunity for personal growth and transformation. It suggests that you may need to confront and overcome certain inner demons or patterns that have been holding you back in your love life.

Breaking Free: Ultimately, the Devil card encourages you to break free from any unhealthy patterns or attachments. It's a reminder to prioritize your well-being and ensure that your relationships are based on mutual respect, trust, and freedom.

Next Relationship (The Devil):

Your next relationship might have elements of intensity and passion. However, it's essential to approach it with caution and awareness of potential pitfalls. Here's what your next relationship might be like:

Intense Connection: You could experience a deep and intense connection with your next partner. The chemistry between you two might be undeniable.

Challenges to Navigate: There may be challenges in the relationship that require careful navigation. These challenges could be related to power dynamics, jealousy, or control issues.

Transformational: The relationship could lead to personal transformation. You might confront and overcome your own inner demons or limiting beliefs as you navigate the complexities of the connection.

Freedom and Balance: It's crucial to prioritize freedom and maintain a healthy balance in the relationship. Avoid becoming overly fixated or obsessed and ensure that both you and your partner have the space to grow individually.

Self-Awareness: This relationship might bring a heightened sense of self-awareness. You'll need to be honest with yourself about your desires and boundaries.

Remember that the Devil card doesn't necessarily imply a negative outcome but serves as a reminder to approach your love life with awareness and mindfulness. By recognizing and addressing any potential challenges, you can work toward a more balanced and fulfilling relationship in the future.

xx

Mia💗

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[mbti-mom]

Myers Briggs Cognitive Functions (How To Figure Out Your Myers Briggs Type)

It’s been awhile since I posted on here, but I wanted to post something that would be helpful. Often on the internet I see a lot of misconceptions about the Jungian cognitive functions, so I wanted to try and create more compact summaries of the functions as Jung described them. I’m currently waiting for my WikiHow article on how to figure out your cognitive functions to get approved (if it ever will), so for now I’ll just write out what I wrote for the article here.

I also added some extra notes for beginners on the bottom if you are completely new to typology and confused about what any of this means.

Without further ado, I’ll now get into the summaries.

Introverted Feeling. Jung describes introverted feelers as 'Still waters run deep' type of people. They are quite silent and inaccessible, and can be rather difficult to understand. They often act childishly or banal, and sometimes quite melancholic. They don't tend to shine, and rather keep a type of concealed air about themselves. They don't wish to change others or affect others and don't care to impress. People see them as having a sense of indifference or coldness to their behaviors. They prefer not to be emotional, but their emotions often end up infiltrating their unconscious mind. People may see them and not think that they are feeling, but their feelings are intensive rather than extensive. They develop into their depth. When they try to express sympathy, it often looks like coldness despite their intentions, due to it doing nothing visibly. They may express their aim in inconspicuous ways, preferring to put their passions into things silently. Due to this, this type may often be drawn to the arts. This type of person may particularly draw in extraverted types of people. When they are unhealthy, they may become mischievously cruel or unscrupulous in their ambition.

Extraverted Feeling. Jung describes extraverted feelers as people who follow the guiding lines of their feeling. Their personality often adjusts to external conditions, such as the people that they are talking to. Their feelings correspond with objective situations and generalized values. They often have requirements for the people that they tend to date, and these tend to be things that can be measured on an external level. People who value this function highly often repress their logic to make room for their feelings. This does not mean that this person does not think logically at all, and they could easily think a great deal. They just prefer to use their feelings as a guideline and use their logic to back up what they feel. This type of person would be described in the phrase "I cannot think what I don't feel."  When this individual is unhealthy, they tend to become a servant to their feelings. These people may have the most obsessive and hideous thoughts during this time, which breeds even further doubt in them therefore furthering the control of emotions onto them.

Introverted Thinking. Jung describes introverted thinking types as being influenced by their subjective logical ideas. They will follow their ideas internally, seeking to understand their logic with intensity. This person may have a distinct feeling that they only matter in a negative way. They often will have an indifference to objective sources and prefer to stick to their subjective ideas. With this person, everything about them externally remains concealed. Their judgment appears cold, obstinate, arbitrary, and inconsiderate, simply because they are less interested in the objective reality than the subjective thoughts. Courtesy, amiability, and friendliness may be present in their behaviors, but they often display this with uneasiness. When it comes time for them to transplant their ideas into the world, they merely expose them and are annoyed when their ideas fail to thrive in objective reality. This person often lacks practical ability, and may even have an aversion to practical matters. If in their eyes their idea seems subjectively correct and true, it must also be in practice, and others have to bow to that truth. Hardly will they ever go out of their way to win anyone's appreciation of their ideas, especially if it be anyone of influence. At their unhealthiest, they may allow themselves to be exploited in negative ways if it means that they can continue their internal pursuit of ideas. Their convictions may become rigid and unbending, and they may become incredibly isolated and dependent on their internal world.

Extraverted Thinking. Jung describes extraverted thinkers as people whose constant aim is to bring their total life activities into relation with their intellectual conclusions. These intellectual conclusions are always oriented by objective facts or generally valid ideas. This type of person gives the deciding voice to objective reality, not only to themselves but to people around them as well. They determine good and evil through this measurement, as well as beauty and ugliness. All is right that corresponds with this formula, and all is wrong that contradicts it, and everything that is neutral to it is purely accidental. The person who refuses to obey this law is unreasonable or immoral in their eyes, and without a doubt has no conscience. Purely ethical aims may lead these individuals into critical situations, which sometimes have more than a semblance of being decided by quite other than ethical motives. These people may find themselves in deplorably compromising situations, or in dire need of rescue in this case. Their resolve to save often leads to them employing means which only tend to precipitate what they most desire to avoid. At their unhealthiest points, their desire to advance the salvation of man is so consuming that they will not shrink from any lying and dishonest means in pursuit of their ideal. They may neglect their health in pursuit of their ideals, even neglecting their family or the people that they care about. They may also become incredibly dogmatic, to a rigid extent.

Introverted Sensing. Jung describes introverted sensing as a type characterized by their peculiarities. They are an irrational type, as they are guided simply by what happens to them. They may stand out by the calmness and passivity of their demeanor, or by their rational self-control. They may have an illusory conception of reality, and in the worst-case scenario may even reach a complete inability to discriminate between reality and their subjective perception of reality. Due to their lack of knowledge of objective reality, they can often appear quite strange and odd in character due to their differing perception from objective reality. When others treat them badly, they may prefer to take a position of stubbornness and resistance than to full out aggressiveness. At their unhealthiest, they are incredibly aware of every ambiguous, gloomy, and dangerous possibility in their reality.

Extraverted Sensing. Jung describes extraverted sensing as a type characterized by their attentiveness to reality. Their sense of objective facts is extraordinarily developed. Their life is an accumulation of actual experience with concrete reality. This person does not believe themselves to be subject to sensation. They would actually ridicule that statement as being inconclusive since, from their standpoint, sensation is the concrete manifestation of life. Their aim is concrete enjoyment in objective reality, and their morality is similarly orientated. For in their eyes, true enjoyment has its own special morality, its own moderation and lawfulness, its own unselfishness and devotedness. This person may have little tendency for either reflection or commanding purpose. When they wish to create in objective reality, they do so aiming to fill their senses. They may be incredibly good at putting together aesthetics, or creating great sensational experiences. At their unhealthiest, they become crude pleasure-seekers or unscrupulous hedonists. They don't see reality as a beautiful thing anymore, but rather something to use to solely feed the endless need for new sensations. They may become incredibly jealous individuals running off of high anxiety. They may even turn morbidly primitive, or extremists in behavior.

Introverted Intuition. Jung describes introverted intuition as producing a peculiar type of person. This person may be a mystical dreamer and seer on one hand, and a fantastical crank and artist on the other. There is a general tendency of this type to confine themselves into the perceptive character of intuition. The intensification of their intuition naturally often results in an extraordinary aloofness of the individual from tangible reality, they may even be a complete enigma to their own immediate social circle. If they are an artist, they reveal extraordinary, remote things in their art. Their art may be lovely and grotesque, or whimsical and sublime. They may have visions, where they think to themselves "What does this thought mean for me and the world? What emerges from this vision for me and the world?" The pure intuitive who represses judgment will never meet this question fundamentally, because their only problem is the how of perception. They concern themselves with the meanings of their visions, and troubles less about its further aesthetic possibilities than about the possible moral effects which emerge from its intrinsic significance. At their unhealthiest, they may become quite impulsive, and struggle with unrestraint. They may also have issues talking to people about their visions, as they are often arguments without convincing reason.

Extraverted Intuition. Jung describes extraverted intuition as producing a person who is always aware where possibilities exist. They have a keen nose for things that have a promising future. They can never exist in stable, long-established conditions because they are always looking for new possibilities. Stable conditions often feel suffocating to them. They take on new subjects with extreme enthusiasm and intensity, only to abandon them cold-bloodedly and seemingly out of nowhere. As long as a possibility exists, this person feels bound to it. They have their own characteristic morality, which consists in a loyalty to their intuitive view of things. At their unhealthiest, they may rely entirely upon a perception of chance and possibilities. They may become incredibly attuned to hazards in their life. They may also become a hypochondriac as their fears and phobias increase.

What do I do now?

Order your functions. You will now need to order your functions from most used to least used. You will want to choose one thinking function, one feeling function, one sensing function, and one intuition function. Then order these based on the amount that you use each of them, from most to least.

In Jungian cognitive functions, there is a rule that each function in your stack has an opposite opposing it.

These opposing functions are thinking & feeling and sensing & intuition. Each person will have one of each function, and they can only have two introverted functions and two extraverted functions. You can't have two extraverted opposing functions, nor can you have two introverted opposing functions. You also can't have two extraverted functions paired right next to each other, or two introverted functions paired next to each other.

An example of this would be the function stack of ISTJ: They lead with introverted sensing, then their auxiliary function is extraverted thinking, then their tertiary function is introverted feeling, then finally their inferior function is extraverted intuition.

Another example is the function stack of ENFP. They lead with extraverted intuition, then their auxiliary function is introverted feeling, their tertiary function is extraverted thinking, and their inferior function is introverted sensing.

Remember that lesser valued functions will not be as apparent in your life. A high introverted thinking user may not relate to the extraverted feeling description of preferring emotion over logic, and that is to be expected. The function you value less is often suppressed for the greater function until you learn to use them in harmony.

Know the names of the cognitive functions.

Each function has a name as well as an abbreviation that is commonly used.

Introverted Feeling, also commonly referred to as Fi.

Extroverted Feeling, also commonly referred to as Fe.

Introverted Thinking, also commonly referred to as Ti.

Extroverted Thinking, also commonly referred to as Te.

Introverted Sensing, also commonly referred to as Si.

Extroverted Sensing, also commonly referred to as Se.

Introverted Intuition, also commonly referred to as Ni.

Extroverted Intuition, also commonly referred to as Ne.

The Types:

ISTJ - Si-Te-Fi-Ne

ISFJ - Si-Fe-Ti-Ne

ESTJ - Te-Si-Ne-Fi

ESFJ - Fe-Si-Ne-Ti

ISTP - Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

ISFP - Fi-Se-Ni-Te

ESTP - Se-Ti-Fe-Ni

ESFP - Se-Fi-Te-Ni

INTJ - Ni-Te-Fi-Se

INFJ - Ni-Fe-Ti-Se

ENTJ - Te-Ni-Se-Fi

ENFJ - Fe-Ni-Se-Ti

INTP - Ti-Ne-Si-Fe

INFP - Fi-Ne-Si-Te

ENTP - Ne-Ti-Fe-Si

ENFP - Ne-Fi-Te-Si

Learning how to narrow types. If you find that you have a function stack that is oddly laid out, such as Ni-Ti-Fe-Se, determine the closest likely type. In the case of those functions, the closest match would be INFJ. In the case where you relate to two extraverted functions of opposing function groups, you must determine which of the two you relate to more. For example, if you relate to both Te and Fe, try to narrow down which you think describes you better and choose the introverted function for the other one.

If you need any further help, feel free to shoot me an ask at any time.

[yahboobeh]

Miss Independent

Spring really was the perfect season, Tenten mused. The climate was ideal for training, and even the sweet scent of hydrangeas managed to poke through the odors of sweat, weapons polish, and upturned dirt. There were no hydrangeas in the fall. 

She would never admit to Lee and Guy just how much she loved a good spring day for fear she would never hear the end of it. 

Above her, the sky was clear and blue. The breeze rustled the leaves, and birds sang, darting across the horizon. 

Below her, the grass was lush and green, pockmarked with weapons spent from her arsenal. 

And on top of her prone form was Neji, claiming victory over their spar, a confident smirk splayed across his face. 

He said nothing before settling into his reward - their reward - for a successful training session. 

Neji kissed Tenten on her lips, her face, her jaw. She gasped and rolled her head to the side, exposing more of her neck. 

She both loved and hated this part of their relationship. 

Tenten hadn’t truly realized the extent of her feelings for Neji until she’d almost lost him on the battlefield. 

In everything he did, Neji was practical and diligent. Tenten was unsurprised that he approached love with the same careful dedication. Each part of her that Neji touched or kissed was with a purpose as if he’d deliberately planned out each caress beforehand. Even something as simple as holding hands seemed to be weighted with consideration. 

Tenten loved it.

Neji somehow managed to transform his practical nature into intense bouts of passion that left Tenten’s knees weak. He paid attention to what she liked, whether it was her favorite foods, training exercises, or places to kiss, Neji seemed to know it all. He studied her reactions, how she liked to be touched and where; quelling the parts of her that burned for his touch. 

She was wholly and utterly consumed by him, and that was the problem.

Tenten felt any remaining tendrils of control slowly slip away. He was slowly stripping her bare of the walls she had built. Tenten hated the woman she became whenever Neji turned his attention to her.

She tried to resist the urge to be consumed, staring at a kunai sunk partway into the ground. It jutted out, the cool grey steel harsh against the lush green grass as Neji’s hand started its journey under her skirt to cup her bottom. 

The sound that Tenten made was something between a moan of pleasure and a frustrated grunt. 

“Wait!” she gasped, surprising herself. 

Neji stopped, pulling away from her neck to look down at her, brows wrinkled with concern. 

“Is something wrong?”

Moments ago, Neji’s voice had been low and dripping with desire. Now, it was lighter, speckled with concern. Tenten looked up at his perfect face. His jawline was somehow both sharp and soft. The crinkle in his brow would smooth away with the slightest press of her fingers. And his eyes told her all of his secrets. His emotions passed freely across them, but somehow only Tenten could pluck them out and give them a name. 

Love. Worry. Desire. 

She saw them all. 

His hair tickled her cheek, and between the press of Neji’s body against her own, Tenten could confirm the speck of desire she’d seen. 

Everything about him was perfect. This moment was perfect. 

The problem wasn’t Neji; it never would be. 

“Tenten?”

Her name on his lips made her entire body buzz. Her heart pounded unevenly, and she felt light-headed. 

“I have a problem.”

Tenten tried to state this as delicately as possible while guiding Neji’s hand off of her bottom. 

She saw a flash of anxiety before Neji sat back on his knees, giving her space. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

Tenten’s body felt heavy, like moving was more effort than it was worth. She stayed on her back, her legs open to him. 

She managed to shake her head.

“No, you’re amazing. Perfect even. Jerk.”

A cocky smile flashed briefly across his face. 

“What’s bothering you?”

Tenten sighed, trying to find the right words to describe her struggle best. How could she continue on her own while feeling like she was obsessed?

“I’ve always thought one of the greatest weaknesses of my fellow kunoichi was their obsession with boys.”

Neji cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to elaborate. 

“I mean, how could Sakura, Ino, and Hinata achieve their potential when they were always so distracted? It’s annoying. Be more independent!”

“I’m not sure I understand where this is going, Tenten.”

“Towards an existential crisis!” she said with a frustrated huff. “I mean, how can I call myself independent or a feminist when all I can think about is your stupid, perfect face?”

Neji laughed at her, earning a sharp glare. 

“I’m serious, Neji! I feel like all I think about is you! ‘What’s Neji doing right now? Does he really like me? When can we have sex again?’ It’s driving me insane!”

Neji curled back over Tenten, kissing her softly before looking into her eyes. He pushed a stray bang back into place while he picked his next words. 

“Do you think that our relationship takes away some of your own agency?”

“I don’t know… Sometimes I do. I don’t feel like an adult in a relationship. I feel like a hormone-fueled teenager with an unhealthy obsession.”

Neji considered her statement for a moment before speaking. 

“I feel similar.”

Tenten’s brows shot up.

“You do?”

“Do I come across as the type of person who would have sex in an open field in the middle of the day?”

Tenten laughed.

“No, not at all.”

“And yet, here we are.”

“But you still go home and do your own thing. You’re still your own person.”

She felt her eyes burn and resisted the urge to cry. She felt Neji’s thumb swipe across her cheek, a soothing gesture of affection he reserved just for her.

“So are you, Tenten.”

Tenten scoffed. 

“I think that it’s normal for people to experience so much infatuation at first.”

“I don’t know, Neji. Maybe, but it feels like so much more. When I thought you were… I-I couldn’t do anything.” One tear, two tears, and then the stream. She wept freely under him. “I was so pathetic, a shell of a person. My existence stopped when I thought yours did.”

Neji kissed her forehead and diligently wiped away her tears. He let her cry uninterrupted until she had calmed down enough to listen.

“Tenten, that’s not an obsessive crush, that’s grief. They’re different.”

“I felt like I couldn’t live without you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But grieving doesn’t make you weak or less independent.”

Tenten looked away, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. 

“Listen to me, Tenten. Feeling like your whole world has been turned upsidedown... like you’ll never be happy again, that’s normal. It’s part of the process.” 

Neji wiped away another tear.

“You know everything,” she teased.

“I wish this was something I didn’t know. You feel helpless at first. It’s normal. I promise.” 

Neji kissed her briefly on the lips.

“As for our current situation, tell me; if you were asked to go on a mission without me, would you?”

Tenten nodded. 

“Of course.”

“Do you still go home and work on your scrolls? Do you research new weapons and techniques?” 

Another nod.

“And even though you claim to think about me all day, are you still doing your normal routine?”

“Yes.”

“And do you still know your goals? Your dreams?”

“I think so.”

“I don’t think being infatuated with someone makes you any less independent. And you’re definitely the strongest, fiercest, most independent woman I know.”

Tenten’s heart fluttered. She touched his cheek and smiled.

“Thanks, Neji.” She smiled up at him. “But you better not just be saying that to get me out of my dress.” 

He frowned. 

“It was genuine, besides,” he pressed a series of kisses to her neck, and she giggled, “I don’t need to go out of my way with compliments for you to take your clothes off.”

“Neji!” 

Her laughs melted into gasps. She struggled to hold onto any sense of reality. 

“You arrogant-”

He cut her off with a deep and needy kiss. 

“Stop talking,” he whispered between kisses.

Tenten pushed him off of her. Neji rolled over and onto his back, and she quickly climbed on top of him, swelling with triumph and pride over her small victory. 

She leaned forward and kissed him, pressing her hips back to extract a well earned gasp from her partner. 

“Fine, I’ll stop talking,” she said between kisses, “but not because you want me to.”

Neji grinned up at her, hands reaching for her waist, pulling her in closer.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 FFN | AO3

[thealiaamir]

Lilith

History:

Lilith was the original Eve, created from the same soil as Adam. Her name comes from the Babylonian “Lilitu” meaning “female demon” or “wind spirit”. When Adam insisted that he should be dominant, Lilith dared to question him. After all, they were crafted from the same Earth. She wished only to be equal, but was demonized for this. She was, thus, cast out of Eden. Allegedly, she created thousands of demon spawn and devoured infants by the bucketful. These accusations are falsehoods, crafted by those fearful of her righteous autonomy. Any havoc Lilith wrought was only out of woundedness, like the actions of a feral animal. She was shunned for speaking truth.

The “me too” movement is an expression of Lilith, where women show solidarity for the abuses they’ve suffered in silence. It is Lilith who exposes patriarchal corruption. Women become likened to banshees when they dare show rage. However, it would be limited to interpret Lilith only from the perspective of gender-based conflict. She is pure gut-instinct and extends far beyond sexual independence.

Lilith represents one’s ability to say “no” to what doesn’t feel right. She is pure root-chakra wisdom. The knowledge of the earth, muddy and messy. In one’s chart, she shows where you can become in-touch with your own body-wisdom. It’s this feeling in your stomach that says “heck yes!!!” or “this person makes my skin crawl.” Such intuition doesn’t align with left-brained, scientific modes of analysis.

The Signs/Houses:

Much like the asteroid chiron, Lilith represents a rejection wound in one’s chart. It’s where you speak your truth and no one wants to hear it. You put your heart on the line, but your desire for connection made someone cringe. You state your needs, and people ask “why do you have to be so difficult???” All you want is for someone to see the ferocious warmth beneath your intensity.

*if you have Lilith aspecting a planet, read the description for the sign it rules. Ex: sun would be Leo, Mercury would be Virgo or Gemini*

Aries/1st house: Daring to express oneself. The human embodiment of Lilith. Carnal. Someone who is known for butting heads with others. Notorious warrior. Fighting for the underdog is a part of one’s identity. Poster-boy of rejection wounds. Someone who feels like they’re “too much”, either bottling themselves up or living up to the expectation. Starting fights and then running to lick your wounds. Riling people up to get the negative attention you’re accustomed to. Truthfully, desiring authentic love that’s not based on filtering your personality into something more palatable.

Taurus/2nd house: someone who was told their desires are wrong. Being told you’re gluttonous for taking care of basic needs. Primal, all-consuming hunger. Eating disorders and shameful indulgence. A desire to consume one thing until you get sick of it. Ferociously guarding personal belongings and beliefs. Hoarding. A strong need to listing to one’s body, even if what it asks for doesn’t match conventional wisdom. Bullied for one’s weight. Earthly intuition. An unadulterated love for oneself that makes others uncomfortable. Intoxicatingly stubborn. Harsh & deep-set standards of morality.

Gemini/3rd house: saying things about people that hit a little too close to home. The thought process is primal. Knowing why people say the things they say. Reading people like a book. Ruthlessly pointing out falsehoods. Lilith is the trickster here, wearing many masks. Infamous for being inconsistent. Obsession with social dynamics, due to past rejection by “the tribe”. An outcast during school years. Extreme fear of missing out. Hiding taboo thoughts for fear of rejection. Unable to learn in a conventional fashion. Reading about the occult, depth psychology, myths, and anything else focusing on the core of human nature.

Cancer/4th house: the mother as an untamable Lilith figure. Standing up for one’s relatives. Someone with a dubious past. Mother was deemed insane or illogical. Black sheep. Feral obsession with comfort. Finding comfort in brutal honesty and ruthless emotional depth. Being deemed “impossible to live with”. High standard of living. Needing to set boundaries with one’s family and living situation. Controversial self-care. Knowing what truly matters. Fierce protector of the young and helpless. Savage goddess of the hearth. Periodic seclusion within one’s cave. Emotions take on a life of their own, going in bestial rampages.

Leo/5th house: Being ruthless becomes a game. The sin of unfiltered selfhood, becoming demonized for having fun. Toying with people’s hearts. Love/hate relationships. Compulsive validation needs. Hobbies may be taboo or the parents could’ve encouraged them to keep to themselves. Flames of desire emanate, pulsing like pyrotechnics. Rejected during childhood games. If they have kids, they’re likely the brutally honest sort. Children provide surprising bits of wisdom. This is someone who feels guilt for wanting to live a little. Unfiltered emotional expression can be too much for others. Heart swells at the slightest provocation. Needs to do what is simply in their nature, as those who matter will honor their authenticity.

Virgo/6th house: Compulsive organizational systems that seem illogical to others. Angry cleaning. Power of the gut-brain connection. Nature’s way of healing itself, clashing with the business of modern medicine. Disagreeable coworkers, or disagreeing with them yourself. Infamous at your place of work. The intestines strongly reject certain foods, so that you have to listen carefully. The diet may fluctuate daily. Acquired knowledge about nutrition and health may be of the controversial variety (carnivore diet, intuitive medicine, low oxalates, etc). Routines which may appear feral, but ground one in their body. People may take your high strandards personally, as they don’t know how to set boundaries themselves. A knot in your stomach tells you if something isn’t good for you.

Libra/7th house: Others are a mirror for the part of you that possesses unabated self-knowledge. Attracted to people ruled by irrational instinct. Must be careful to set clear boundaries in interactions with others. Compulsive need to interact and form partnerships, which may overwhelm others. Wild charm. Demonizing others. Wanting someone to teach you how to think for yourself. Partner helps you return to & nourish your body. Guttural wisdom exchanged in daily interactions. Best friend is someone incredibly grounded, who lives authentically. You demonize or idolize those who think for themselves.

Scorpio/8th house: psychoanalyzing others before they can do they same to you. A lifestyle that allows for a great deal of secrecy. Obscure & impenetrable. Unreavealing of cavernous depths of feeling, because they fear no one is brave enough to explore these shadows. Making people uncomfortable by purging every secret at once. Being abandoned once you reveal your true self. People offering “gifts” with treacherous strings attached. Unhealthy relationship dynamics- one person is running while the other is chasing. Being stalked or doing the stalking. Unearthing other’s rejection wounds. Shamanic. Concealed impulses. Instinctual need for closeness, where everything is shared. Their “soul mate” is someone ruthless.

Sagittarius/9th house: Too much to handle. Cycles of binging and purging. Living a life of excess. May attract questionable travel companions. Worldview is based on sharing hard truths to all who will listen. This is not someone who minces their words, though they’ve been told time and time again to keep their mouths shut. Their opinions are of the controversial variety, though they are rarely wrong. Arguments are a playground. Saying “no” to the religious doctrine pushed upon you as a child. A skeptic, because they know better in their gut. Higher education brings out compulsive tendencies. May confront teachers & all traditional knowledge. Tearing self-proclaimed gurus down with sharp wit.

Capricorn/10th house: Social pariah. Sex symbol. Businesses that involve female empowerment. Glitzy. Destined to become infamous. Dense and frenzied energy remains when you leave the room. Man-eater. Insatiable need for recognition, tearing one’s way through the corporate ladder. Symbol of truth. Breaking out of the box society has placed you in. The father/dominant parent may have been a “difficult” person. Lack of respect for false or corrupt authority. Innate power. “Bad cop”. Sticking it to the man. Fear of subordination. Intimidating competence and confidence. Cimmerian. Public symbol of authenticity. Honest evaluation of societal structures. Organized chaos.

Aquarius/11th house: Friendship isn’t taken lightly. May associate with controversial people. Freaks. Love/hate relationship towards humanity. Scaring aqaintances. Inundating society with knowledge they’re not yet ready for. Untethered. Jealousy towards those who meld into groups, causing them to further isolate. A reject, estranged from reality. Diabolical. Deep desire to be included. Obsession with what everyone else is doing. Violent subcultures. Strangers invading the native’s personal space, or vice versa. Electric compulsions, jolting the native out of old ways of being. These sudden consciousness shifts perturb others. Radical awareness of the body. They’ve been told to keep their visions of the future to themselves. The divine feminine is crowned in a fluorescent blue halo, lifted above the earth by undulating nimbus clouds.

Pisces/12th house: Beastial dreamscape. The Feminine Wild is both feared and revered. Fantasies of standing up for yourself. Trouble accessing your instinctive and earthy side. Conduit for collective delirium. Dissolution. Substance abuse. Ignoring instinct is your self-undoing. Surrendering autonomy. Deemed too hysterical, sensitive, and irresponsible. Freedom comes from claiming spiritual dominion. Knowing what your dreams and subconscious yearnings mean, becoming defensive when people dismiss your interpretations. Crawling out of your skin. Arcane knowledge via escapism. Odd methods of psychological mending.

[hvilested]

Infatuation Is a Temporary Illusion: How to Escape the Pain

LucyJul 14, 2020

As a neuroscientist, I am fascinated by infatuation; it's such a strong, mysterious phenomenon, yet is entirely scientifically-explainable.

This Too Shall Pass

I will start this by saying that however deep and impossible your situation feels, you will leave this infatuated state. There will be a day when you can think about this special person without any type of pain or passion. You will remember how strongly you felt towards them while they didn't have the same feelings for you, and it will seem completely crazy that you were so stuck in limerence.

Albeit cliché, the concept that time is the only thing that will make you feel less magnetically drawn to someone who you cannot be with is true. You cannot magic away these feelings, because they are a strong illusion created by chemicals in your brain. Over time, your neurobiology will balance out again and this person, who is acting as a potent stimulus, will no longer inspire the same physiological response in you. Thinking about your situation scientifically helps, as it steers you away from thinking in terms of romance and delusion.

What Is an Infatuation?

Are you currently struggling with huge, incredibly deep feelings for someone that you will never be with? We use the term 'infatuation' (also limerence) to describe the state of being utterly enamored by and obsessed with someone; it is the wildest thing that a human can experience in the sober, baseline state. The invisible pull that you feel will seem so novel and colossal in strength that, if experiencing infatuation for the first time, you will be certain that you will 'never feel this again', and that this person is 'the one'. After all, your body and mind react so strongly and surely to them that it is impossible to imagine a life worth living that doesn't have them at the center of it. This is not the case, as you will experience several infatuations in your life if you are prone to them.

Due to differing genetics and brain chemistry, some people are more prone to entering limerence than others; in fact, some will never experience this roller coaster of euphoria and insecurity. Unrequited crushes are normal and not too much of an issue; unrequited infatuation not only encompasses incredibly powerful attraction, admiration and a general feeling of 'love' towards the subject, but is also agonizing and depressive by nature.

If the infatuated cannot be with the person that they desire, they will likely enter a deep depression and will feel completely out of order for weeks or months, until the feelings fade or they gain closure. Irrational thoughts and misery normally accompany this rollercoaster experience, as well as physical symptoms such as elevated libido and lack of appetite (due to an excess of dopamine in the brain).

Is It a Normal Crush or an Infatuation?

You may wonder how we can define things as vague and fluid as romantic feelings. However, the line between a healthy crush and a problematic infatuation is not as thin as it seems. Crushes can be unwanted and painful, bringing ups and downs into our lives, but a true infatuation blows a crush out of the water. If deeply infatuated with someone that you cannot be with, you will think irrational thoughts such as 'I want to die - X isn't in my life and everything else makes me miserable'.

These thoughts are falsehoods, for the world is so open that you will definitely encounter other people (as well as places, music and even fashion trends) that you find fascinating.

If you are simply experiencing a romantic crush, you will find the person very appealing and may intensely want to date them, but there will be less feeling than there is in limerence - less hormonal influence, less joy, and less crying. The highs will be less euphoric, sure, but the lows will not be nearly as crushing as those experienced in the limerent state.

The difference between a crush and an infatuation is that the former allows you to enjoy the warm feelings and be in control of your emotions, while the latter is extremely unhealthy and causes the sufferer a lot of pain if they cannot be with the person they desire. A crush may feel very strong and you may want to act differently to charm the subject of your feelings, but it will never be as delusional., destructive and fantasy-based as a true infatuation is.

So, how does one differentiate between the two? In short, if you feel so distraught that you cannot be with the person that you are googling for solutions, crying before bed and upon waking, losing interest in activities that you normally love, struggling to imagine a future without the person in your life, you are definitely infatuated and not crushing. If you treat this emotional conundrum as if it were a drug addiction, you will stop feeling this way in a matter of weeks or months.

Why Do People Become Infatuated in the First Place?

Most people go through their lives organically forming healthy 'crushes'; even when not actively seeking a partner, they will encounter a few people a year that will grab their attention and seem irresistible. After all, this is biologically advantageous; we are mammals and are meant to pursue, and eventually reproduce with, those that we deem physically and emotionally intriguing.

Having said this, I will clarify that your sexual orientation is totally unimportant in your ability to develop all-consuming, raging feelings for someone. This level of feeling is just as prevalent between people of the same gender as it is between those of opposite genders. However, we are wired to pursue, bond with and care for other human beings for the sole reason of reproduction and the survival of our species. If someone is infatuated with someone of the same gender, they will experience the same concoction of erratic emotions as a straight person. Neurochemical changes will temporarily dominate your life regardless of the perceived likelihood of the passing on of your genes.

infatuations

Rupi Kaur

What to Do? Understand That Your Feelings Are Scientifically-Explainable and Never Permanent

The wild array of feelings that come along with any form of attraction may seem intangible and wondrous, but they are caused by altered levels of different neurotransmitters. Focusing on the science behind such a strong human experience is crucial in dealing with the pain that it can cause you.

Reject dwelling in the infatuation too much. It's incredibly tempting to spend hours writing and lamenting about the subject of your "love", only to enter an even more heightened state of delusion. Even if this isn't your first infatuation and you saw that you got over your last one, remember that, naturally, you will be convinced that this person is the one and that you are ruining your life by missing out on being with them.This is nonsense and is your brain tricking you!

The best way to avoid falling into this nauseating, fantasy-driven loop of obsessing and fantasising and despairing is to understand the science behind this crazy human experience.

It is also incredibly comforting to know that unrequited infatuation very rarely lasts for more than 6-8 months, and often will fizzle out incredibly suddenly and much earlier than this. This is because infatuation is neither logical nor grounded at all. It is so, so ephemeral by nature; one day you will look back at this period of your life and it will seem like a wild but distant dream. Trust me on that one.

However, to break this person-addiction habit and ensure you never, ever cry over unrequited love again, you'll need to dig very deep and be committed to recovery. Your external world is a mere reflection of your beliefs and what you allow to imprint itself into your subconscious mind. By meeting your psychological needs healthily and treating unhealed wounds, you will become completely, 100% immune to infatuation/limerence. Potential partners will sparkle to you, make your heart sing and you'll be able to transition into real relationships with them instead of you manifesting unrequited love and crying spells. I promise you this.

infatuations

Feeling Something Intensely Doesn't Mean It's Permanent

Don't get confused and think that, just because you feel such strong passion for this person, your feelings will 'last forever' and you will 'never get over them'. For some reason, when us humans experience something intense or profound, we do what no other animals do and we introduce a poignant aspect of eternality to the situation. It's a huge logical fallacy to think 'I feel strongly about X, hence I will ALWAYS feel this way', yet we all do it. Our tragic flaw is, in many ways, that we are aware of time and the future and cannot simply live in the moment and deal with whatever strong feelings we are experiencing as they come and go.

If you think about, a large part of your pain is that you feel that you won't ever have a happy, fulfilled, exciting life without this individual. After all, they've inspired so much energy in you and you haven't felt this way with anyone else before. The truth is that, no, your infatuation will not last long and will certainly not be permanent.

Infatuation has a shelf-life because it is based in the fantasy and reality cannot maintain it. It is such idealisation and irrationality that, once the real world creeps in and you become aware that your feelings are unfounded and inappropriate, they will naturally dissipate. It is for this reason that couples who feel 'infatuated' often become bored after around 6 months. They aren't experiencing that surge of initial attraction or the wondrous mystery that their partner made them feel when they first met, because they were simply infatuated then and didn't really know their partner.

What Does It Mean If You're Prone To Infatuation?

Being a neuroscientist, my attention has been drawn to the fact that those of us who fall into infatuations are 1. prone to this state (experience it over and over again until they learn precisely how to treat the root cause, even if each "episode" feels novel and "different this time"), and 2. we are people who feel things very intensely.

Now, I am aware that virtually every single person on this planet feels certain things strongly and irrationally, but a limerence really is at the top of the scale in terms of intensity, especially since mental illness is usually thrown into the mix. Nearly every single person who I have seen who has fallen into a deep infatuation has been on the spectrum for severe depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD) or OCD (meaning, they could obtain a psychiatric diagnosis for one of these illnesses).

I don't want to scare you; I am a firm believer that we all sit on spectrums for most mental health conditions, and that there should be no fear or taboo enshrouding this type of information. Many of us could be diagnosed with different things and obtain certain psychiatric labels, but I don't think we should strive to do this unless our mental health is affecting our quality of life extremely negatively. However, I do have to tell you: infatuation at its worst is not neurotypical.

If you tend to live your life emptily, only motivated and made to feel emotion by unobtainable people who you think can make everything okay, then you are most probably mentally ill (by society's definition, at least). If your self-esteem was moderately high and you were mainly mentally healthy (no depressive episodes, no propensity to obsession, no episodes of mania) then it is highly unlikely that you would fall into an illusion so controlling as infatuation.

As I have mentioned and will continue mentioning in this article, infatuation is a deceitful trick. It's your brain's way of latching onto something that could, in theory, make you happy and take away all your troubles. For this reason, if you are infatuated with someone, you are not happy with your current life. You might want to tell me "I am happy and confident, this person is just so special/beautiful that I need them", but that statement would be yet another dopamine-driven delusion.

If you are prone to infatuation/limerence:

you have a lot of love to give to people, whether platonic or romantic (this is a blessing). I suggest that you utilise this in the healthiest possible way and focus on solidifying strong, platonic friendships. You won't feel the high of infatuation and attraction, but you won't experience the horrible lows either, and you will be immensely satisfied because you'll form close bonds and feel understood by people who want to be in your life for genuine reasons, other than desire.

as mentioned above, you are probably mentally ill in some way, and could most likely be diagnosed with OCD, depression, anxiety, BPD, or bipolar disorder. Don't let this scare you. A diagnosis would just be putting a label on what you've felt your entire life.

you will fall into more of these miserable infatuations if you do not treat the root-cause, which is unmet psychological needs and limiting beliefs regarding yourself and your worth. Don't let them shape your months and years, and don't let your life be a string of feelings for different people with you making no advancements in your own life. Even if you don't feel sound enough on a psychological level, force yourself to make friends, to exercise, to work and to read books. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you actually make new brain pathways and *escape* this hell.

you're very prone to fantasising about ideas, people and concepts that could, in theory, help you "escape" the current life or situation that you are in. Use this to your advantage - it just means that your brain is prone to creating dopaminergic pathways to motivate you. Currently, you're motivated to get this person into your life, but you can use this mental tactic to enjoy other things intensely, like academics, hobbies, pets etc. Become obsessed with another country, and make it your mission to learn the language fluently and move there within the next 8 years. Grab onto something other than a person that sparks your interest and get you thinking "my life would be amazing IF ...", whether it be the idea of gaining muscle at the gym, redecorating your house or writing a novel. Some would advise against this, but I have evidence to prove that it's a healthy way to cope with a propensity to idolising people. Hobbies/pets/languages/exercise won't turn you limerent, so obsess over them instead.

unless you work hard on yourself to recover from this susceptibility to falling hard and selflessly for people, your partners will never be on the same page as you. They will never love you as fiercely as you "love" them, because they will never be consumed by someone in the way that people consume and fill your existence. This may fill you with sadness but is reality; the fact that you have developed the behavioural pattern of limerence isn't their problem, nor is it something that many people will relate to. Wishing for someone to fall for you in this lovesick, bittersweet way is going to align you with reactive, toxic people who are generally unstable and enmesh with you too quickly.

the best comes last: you can become immune to infatuation/limerence! You'll need to do a lot of research on how to attack your subconscious mind and alter your brain's fundamental wirings, but it's surprisingly simpler than it sounds and the only path to complete emotional freedom.

infatuations

Rupi Kaur

Yes, This Is Just One of Your Many Phases!

Live in the moment and deal with any false, irrational thoughts like 'this will last forever'. Every time you think that, correct yourself and remember that you're feeling something very strong and unpleasant, but that's all it is and in no way does this equate to any form of permanence.

You can feel things strongly without them lasting forever! I don't know why we, as humans, struggle with this idea so much. There are so many sensory afflictions that come and go. For example, think of a terrible illness where you're vomiting constantly and can barely walk. You feel like you're never going to feel well again, but days later, you bounce back. The illness is just a faint memory that doesn't even inspire much emotion in you. Similarly, sometimes we come across music that we love and then can barely stand to hear it a month later.

We, as humans, go through many phases in our life. Phases are definitely valid life experiences, but find comfort in their ephemerality! This boy or girl is a phase in your life, albeit an intense one. One day, you will look back and associate them with whatever music you're currently listening to, the clothes you're currently wearing and the way that you feel. That is because those aspects of your life are also a phase. This person won't make your heart skip forever. If you take one thing from this article, let it be that. You won't believe me now, but there will come a time when you don't care who they date, and their name won't even stand out to you in a list. Human emotions are weird, huh?

Remember: You Love Your Brain's Chemicals, Not This Person

Unless you are experiencing a healthy crush within reality (just attraction and the feeling of connection), your infatuation is a result of an unhealthy dopamine reward circuit that your brain has essentially created as a survival mechanism. You are so depressed/unfulfilled/lonely that your brain knows that real life isn't offering much for you in terms of incentive to live, so it creates its own happiness in order to temporarily relieve you from unhappiness, nihilism and lack of focus.

Infatuation is the brain making its own fun through a 'fantasy bond'. Your brain provides you with a sugary high full of wonder and hope and promises for the future, and then when real life doesn't follow the illusion (e.g. when the person unsurprisingly doesn't devote their entire life to you because they have their own life/feelings), you will experience the consequent crash. There is a duality to every strong psychological experience, and what goes up always comes down.

Mocking yourself slightly and realising that your brain is 'glitching' in this way is imperative. Tell yourself, "I love dopamine, not him/her!". If the attraction wasn't there, and you knew their personality inside out, would you still 'need' them? It's almost impossible that you would. You might love them in a genuine, affectionate way, just like some elderly couples love each other after years of commitment, but it wouldn't be delightful and euphoric, nor would it be what you're craving now.

Find comfort in the above. If you find yourself thinking "I've met him at the wrong point in my life, we could have grown old together etc." remember that the romance wouldn't feel like this for more than a few months anyway. Yes, maybe if you had met this man in 5 years time you'd date and then marry him and be happy (in the stable sense of the word, with no thrill), but the truth is that that's not even what you want. You want to be able to act on the passionate feelings that you currently have, and for those to last forever, which is why the supposed "missed connection" is so tragic and hard for you to cope with. The thing is, as I've explained, the sheer concept of living with them forever and feeling this way with them forever is a fairytale that your brain has created.

In short: your brain has messed up here, and is misunderstanding the situation. We are animals at the end of the day, and our bodies function to promote survival, often not bothering about our feelings. If your life is lacking authenticity, excitement and motivation, your brain may work to ensure the survival of your genes by creating its own goals. Don't listen to everything that your mind is telling you and try not to crave the highs that it is offering you!

Neuroscience: What Causes Infatuation?

Understanding the science behind this turbulent experience is crucial, and is the only way to think practically without being nihilistic and numbing yourself to your feelings. This area of neuroscience is fascinating, as it deals with human experiences that seem so spiritual and magical that it's hard to believe that they are caused and controlled by relatively simple chemicals. However, a handful of neurotransmitters control all aspects of your mood and mental health, and therefore can explain every thought and motive that an infatuation will cause you to experience.

1. Dopamine is the 'pleasure chemical', and relates to euphoria, addiction and craving. It can also inspire goal-based behaviour, e.g. wanting to save money to plan an elaborate trip, or, more relevantly, wanting that "perfect life" with someone you have recently met where you two are alone and free, revelling in each other's happiness. When you first fall into infatuation and you cannot imagine happiness with anyone else but this individual, it is dopamine acting... and boy, is dopamine a powerful neurotransmitter! It gives us momentum in life and quite literally drives humanity, but in the case of infatuation, it is a delightful yet dangerous substance.

When noradrenaline is also released, the two neurotransmitters can undergo a reaction and produce not only an elated mood, but also focused attention, hyper-activity and loss of appetite. All of these changes can be witnessed in the "lovesick"; you develop tunnel vision during these biochemical changes. You are greatly inspired by anything to do with the other person, and bored at the rest of the world, for it all seems so dull compared to the object of your passion. While noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter and adrenaline a hormone, the two contribute synergistically to a racing heart and the novel excitement associated with love.

2. Serotonin is low when you are infatuated, which is counterintuitive, as high levels of serotonin are also commonly associated with "lovey-dovey" feelings. In fact, taking ecstasy causes a great release of this neurotransmitter, and depression is caused by low levels of it. However, the infatuated brain shows the same low serotonin levels as someone with OCD, which explains the obsessive nature of infatuation, and hence why you should avoid romanticizing your state and realize that you are essentially mentally ill while in the throes of this level of passion.

3. Adrenaline activates stress responses in the body, and is involved with the physiological signs of infatuation. It activates the levels of other hormones like cortisol, which all activate the sympathetic nervous system in a cascade-like manner, causing trembling, sweating and an increased heart rate.

4. Oxytocin is released during intimate acts, cuddling and other forms of close, trust-based contact. It is slightly different to the others, as it does not directly cause "infatuation". In other words, it does not contribute to the insanely powerful passion that one feels while infatuated. Rather, it adds to the experience by increasing the sweet feelings of trust and fondness. For this reason, it is also extremely important in relationships after the infatuation and hence the craving (caused by dopamine) wears off. If the people in the relationship do not possess adequate amounts of oxytocin (and vasopressin), it is unlikely that the relationship will last once they have passed through the drugged-up stage of infatuation and are suddenly aware of each other's flaws.

I urge you to think about the science behind your feelings, as it will help you rationalise what you feel. Allow yourself to cry but don't let yourself romanticise this 'missed connection', because it was never there in the first place. Your neurobiology has temporarily gone awry and taken control of your feelings, but this level of misery cannot and will not last.

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Have you ever wonder what each of the main four would be like as yandere? Sorry, I’m just soo curious.😋

Gon

No onethat has met Gon would ever think he can become a yandere… Him? A yandere?Impossible. He’s such a dear person and has a certain innocence that appears tohave remained even when he got older. Besides, he has morals. Certainly this alsoprevents him from developing this sort of sick obsession as well, right? And ifhe ever did, he would realize this issue and seek a way of healthy dealing withit, right?

 Wrong in all accounts.                    

 Regardlessof how you two met (if he approached you after a brief meeting and wanted tobecome your friend, you just crossed paths, so on) or for how long you’ve beenfriends, you feel you can trust him with all your heart. It’s not so different fromhow it tends to be with other people Gon has befriended. After all, he is akind man, he is gentle and sweet. Heck, even if you didn’t want to befriend himwhen you two met, he has that special way of getting in someone’s heart. In theend, you’re glad you’re friends!

 And becauseof this, chances are you won’t realize what is going on until it is too late.

 Gon’sfeelings for you will start innocently enough and even he might notnotice them at first. He just knows that he enjoys being with you! You’re niceand fun! Yes, of course, he likes you, I mean, you’re friends… So, it’s alsonatural that he starts to feel bad when you’re not there… It’s natural that heworries… He… He needs you. Of course he doesn’t like the way that personlooked at you, it was outright staring! There are many dangerous peoplein the world, he knows, he met quite a few. He is just being a good friend and lookingout for you! There is nothing wrong with that…

 He justdoesn’t want to fail with you like once failed with Kite.

 Gon’sbehaviour starts to change in response to his feelings increasing… It is slow,it is insidious, but a few signals start to pile up. The way he places his arm aroundyour shoulders. The way he stares at people who are a little too friendly withyou. It doesn’t get to the point of being suffocating, but there is somethingthat just feels wrong about his presence… And you don’t want to considerthis, even feeling ashamed of such impressions. For crying out loud, this is Gon!Your friend! You shouldn’t feel like this about him, ever!

 Actually,yes. Yes, you should.

 His feelingsbecome so intense that he can’t be unaware of them forever (not that itwould’ve been of much help anyway). He may just see you laughing with someoneelse… And then he thinks how you could get involved with someone someday. How youcan leave him someday. And the mere thought is more than he can bear.

 And theidea of losing you in one way leads to another. Regardless of what happened afterwards,Gon never forgot when he failed to help Kite. And it was one of those things aperson may never fully get over. No matter in what way, the idea of losing youincites more than mere fear in him. He… He can’t take it… No. No. NO!You can’t leave him, you just can’t!

 Speakingof Kite, if you get hurt, this will likely be also the moment when he goes overthe edge (if he hasn’t already).

 If you’realready together, that’s when things go overboard. If he hasn’t realized hisfeelings yet, that’s the moment when it hits him: This must be love, right? Thedesire to be with you all times, to protect you from all harm and to be theonly one to see your smile… Isn’t this what people call love? The moment thethought crosses his mind, he realizes that this is what he is feeling. And you…You must love him as well, right? You’ve spent so many good times together, surelyyou love him. And if you don’t, you can. Someday.

 How Gondecides to deal with this depends on how things are between the two of you atthe moment. He may just go ahead and confess, or he may jump straight to the next“solution” (extreme likely to happen if you got injured somehow, which, in theworld of Hunter is easy to happen). Even your reaction to his confession is, inthe end, unimportant. You accepting Gon and starting to date him, no matter evenwhen, won’t soothe his obsession or make things easier. The only thing itwill do will be giving you a window to his actual mental state. The uncertaintyyou felt before was your instinct reacting and if you date Gon, his obsessionwill slowly become more obvious until it finally reaches a crucial point.

 He won’t everbe violent, but there will always be something in the sweetness of his voice.In how “protective” he acts… He doesn’t outright forbid you from seeing yourold friends, but he seems to prefer to be there when you meet them… He neverseems to ask for more than you’re willing to do/give, he is never abusive, but…There is still something that makes you unsure. Things being said underneaththe spoken words and done underneath the acts. It’s almost imperceptible and whileit can last, eventually, you can’t fool yourself by saying this is normal.Or that you’re completely comfortable in this relationship.

 And by thistime, it is too late.

 It has always been too late, ever since Gon fell in love with you.

 His senseof protection regarding those he cares about is very high and, while this tendsto be a great thing in a friend, it is another matter when obsession is addedto the mix. Because he wants to keep you safe… And with him. It’s a dangerousworld, after all.

 So, if hehas to throw you in a cage to keep you safe, well, so be it.

 Well, ofcourse it won’t be a cage. That would be too cruel! He has a nice little house,all prepared, just for you. Why he is doing this? Silly, because he loves you.And you don’t have to cry, he will take good care of you, he promises! He cangive you anything you want, so you won’t ever wish for anything! Food, clothes.He’ll even give you books and games, so you won’t be bored when he is not athome! See, he can make you happy! And keep you safe! All you have to do is staywith him.

 Everygood quality can become a negative if twisted enough and this is the case withGon. Everything about him becomes a nightmare: His innocence blinds himto how what he is doing is messed up. His protectiveness becomes a cage beyondthe house he put you in. His sweetness is poisonous.

 And oneof the worst things of all? Gon won’t ever realize that he’s become a monster.

 Killua

WhileKillua is a tsundere and might prefer to have a certain degree of control overhis emotions, it doesn’t mean they are lacking in intensity. But still, (andhis training to be a “perfect assassin” might come in play here as well), hewill be able to keep his feelings hidden for a while, even though he will becomeaware of them very early on. And while there is nothing wrong with an intenselove, it is a serious problem when it crosses the line.

 He willprobably already know you for a while before a deeper interest is born (maybehe met you while travelling with Gon, maybe you crossed paths somewhere andbecame friends, etc). Whether or not he will confess right away will depend on certaincircumstances: It might happen if you’re travelling together (or at least seeingeach other often), if his emotions take a longer time to become more disturbing,so on. You might even notice it (or at least in some level) soon if you’re perceptiveenough. The way he blushes, the way he compliments you and tries to act as ifit’s nothing…

 His love is likely to start pure and perhaps might even remain genuine as hedescents into yandere-ism (which can be a rare occurrence when dealing with yanderes),but this doesn’t imply control over the darker impulses… Oh, he may tryat first, remind himself of his own family and how those thoughts are not healthy…

 Thingswill seem normal for a while, regardless if you become a couple or not. It’sfun to be with him, he is a nice guy… But meanwhile, Killua’s natural feelings ofcare and protectiveness are slowly gaining more obsessive undertones. Heworries about you being hurt. About Illumi finding out about you (whateverhappens then, he doubts it would be good). About his parents using you… And whilenormally Killua would indeed worry about such things, the problem hereis, again, his state of mind.

 The problemhere is the darkness consuming his heart.

 Thoughtsof (over) protectiveness return, along with others that are quite dark. As hisfeelings cross the lines towards obsession, his mind somehow follows. Many ofthose impulses will soon appear to be fairly logical and, as unpleasant as theycan be, a necessary evil in order to keep you safe. And with him.

 Becausein the end, that’s all that matters to Killua. And while a part of him mightrealize how unhealthy this is, he won’t be able to fight it, even if he tries.

 Once hereaches a certain point, nothing else matters. Whether you’re in a relationshipor not (with him or not), whether you notice the small signals ofobsession in his behaviour (like with Gon, you might feel bad for thinking heis becoming unsettling or even be hesitant to draw a line), there is little tobe done. In the end, if you don’t find some excuse to go away for a long, longtime (and if this might not work since Killua would have no issue with followingyou – once he falls in love, he falls hard), you’re all but already caged.

 He willfind a way to keep you with him. If he has to threaten your family, so be it.If he has to destroy your previous life, so be it. If he has to place a goddamncollar around your neck, so be it. On this point, let it be noted that Killuawon’t need a house to keep you in, preferring to… “Persuade” you to travel withhim and Alluka. It will be easy to “convince” you with some veiled threats towardsyour family or anyone you care about. It’s not something he likes to do, but ifit means keeping you with him… Once you realize you two are meant for eachother, it will be alright.

 If you’re hoping this means you’ll have a chance of escaping someday, you’re mistaken. Thereis a reason why Killua was picked to be the Zolcyk heir instead of Illumi and,in certain areas, he is as good as his brother. He has means of keeping youwith him, without needing to resort to a physical chain (though he won’t beagainst it, should you prove it necessary). Even when you think you have a chance,he will be there. His reactions may vary from treating your attempt like agame, as if you’re just some adorable little kitty, to being upset or evenangered. He loves you. He is just doing what is best for you.

You maycry. You may beg. You may point out how he’s hurting you and how this can’t becalled “love” anymore… But by this time, Killua will believe that you’re justnervous and doesn’t know any better. It isn’t just a matter of keeping yousafe: He knows everything about you, what you like, what you hate. He understandsyou better than anyone else, you are perfect for each other and he won’t letanyone hurt you.

 He justwishes you would understand this…

 But you will.You will have time… And he will do whatever he can in order to keep you safefrom anyone, including yourself. Even if you cry now, there will come a daywhen you’ll understand and realize how much he loves you. And that you actuallylove him as well. He knows you do.

 Those arethings Killua will be telling himself a lot. Even in the chance a part of himstill recognizes he is being cruel to you, he won’t be able to stop himself anymore,his feelings far too strong for him to fight against.

 It seemsthat he is more of a Zoldyck that he ever wished to be…

 Kurapika

Among the“main four”, Kurapika is easily one of the best when it comes down to keep hisfeelings hidden, for the most part. As such, if you don’t spend a long timewith him or aren’t incredibly perceptive, you might not notice when he startsto fall in love with you. Sadly, this also means you might have trouble seeinghim becoming a yandere towards you, while with some other characters, there mightbe at least some subtle signs…

 BecauseKurapika takes time allowing people to get close to him, the development of hisinterest and eventual change into yandere might take a while and you might not evenknow that he is in love with you when he takes some drastic action tokeep you with him. Even being already together will do little to prevent hislove from crossing a line (the most it will do will buy you a little extratime), but once it does, you’re in serious trouble.

 One ofthe “main roots” of this development (if we can use such terms) is in his desire to protect you and his trauma of losing his clan. He knows you can takecare of yourself, but the fear of seeing you hurt is still present (like withmost yanderes, seeing you seriously hurt might be what sets him off) and while,in any other scenario, he would find a way to deal with it healthily, this isn’tthe case here.

 In hismind, he needs to keep you safe, no matter what. He can’t bear to lose someonehe cares about again, let alone someone he loves.

 Asmentioned, you might not even know he was even in love with you until he callsyou over and confesses… Or better saying it, reveals how obsessed he is. And ifyou’re dating him already, what you’ll see when he “decides to take better careof you” is how twisted he can be. In a way or another, there is nothing you cando at this point. You just need to look in his eyes to know it… Even if you trybegging or fighting, Kurapika will merely look upset for a moment before makingsure you understand you won’t be leaving, you can’t change hismind and, most important, you can’t win against him.

 Please, don’tcry. It’s for your own good. He loves you, he won’t do anything to hurtyou! He is just doing this so no one will harm you, try to understand.

 Due tohis work, he might prefer to find a way to keep you with him rather thanleaving you in a house somewhere (and he has quite a few means to make sure youwon’t leave, trust me), to the point others will easily assume you’re eitherpartners or a real couple, working together. Those comments often make thecorners of Kurapika’s lips twitch in an almost smile (this pleases his greatly,because, in a way, he thinks this is not that much of a stretch. Why, in a way,it’s actually true, isn’t it?) while you always feel like you could puke as youwant to scream how he is keeping you against his will.

 Not that thiswould help. You could say that to the Zodiac, to Cheadle, hell, even to Leorio,Gon and Killua and still, somehow, Kurapika would find a way to twistthe situation and nothing would be done. And although he sincerely believes heloves you and is doing what is best, this doesn’t mean he won’t find a way topunish you if you test his patience too much. If you keep this up, he may haveto come up with a more drastic way to ensure you behave.

 Remember,this isn’t the Kurapika you know: This is someone lost to obsession.

 When you’re“working”, Kurapika keeps his “professional” stance, but you always notice hissmall glances, the way he brushes his hand against yours at times… He may evenkiss your cheek at times. To bystanders, those small gestures always seem caringand gentle. To you, they feel like being brushed with needles. They are remindersthat you’re his and for you to not try anything funny (even Kurapika’s intentionsare not like that… Well… Not completely).

Thingsdon’t get better when you’re alone.

 Whilemany yanderes cross the line way into sexual abuse, it’s hard to say if itwould be the case with Kurapika (well, any of the main four) or at what levelof obsession, he would need to be for that to happen (if it did, Kurapika would completelybelieve this is love, that he is merely showing you how much he loves you and helpingyou to settle in your new life together). However, even if he doesn’t everreach that point, it doesn’t mean things are that much better or that he leavesyou alone: He insists you sleep in the same bed as him, he frequently holds youclose… And those displays of affection are absolutely sickening for how wrongthey feel.

 You can begand cry as much as you want, it won’t change anything. It breaks his heart, butKurapika rationalizes how this is for your own good. Oh, dear, he knows this isnot ideal, but once he gets rid of the Spiders (and anyone who might be athreat to your relationship), everything will be better, he promises. Like Killua,Kurapika might retain enough sanity to be aware of how his actions are hurting you,but at the same time, he will be at that point when he can’t fight against it…Or merely doesn’t care anymore, telling himself this is just for now and,eventually, you’ll come to accept him and love him back.

 He willkeep you safe, no matter what.

 Leorio

When youthink of Leorio, the Leorio everyone knows, that kind man who cares so much forhis friends, whom you can trust to always help them and think about the man hebecomes when he turns into a yandere, it’s like comparing two people whosedifferences are frightening and whose similarities make the time you have tospend together all the more painful.

 It doesn’teven matter how you crossed paths, if he fell in love as soon as he met you or aftera while, if you two are in a relationship or not, though with the former, youmay have a few indications… Not that they will make much of a difference. First,because they will be very subtle. Leorio is not the type who’ll go into ajealous fit over nothing or be controlling. Second, because he’ll do his bestto apologize if he realizes he upset you or was irrational. Of course, norelationship is perfect, but in any case, you won’t have any reason to think youmight be dating/friends with a dangerous person.

 If onlyyou knew…

 And whileit’s obvious he’ll act soon if you’re not with him, don’t think that already beingin a relationship with him will prevent this, either.

 As Leorio’sfeelings increase in intensity (and not in a good way), he starts to struggleto control certain impulses, at least at first, before his mind starts torationalize them, to the point they feel completely natural. He can’t help but toworry about you, especially if you’re involved in a dangerous job or when he hasto leave you due to his work. Even if he knows you can take care of yourself (makeno mistake, he is aware of your strength), he can’t help it. No more than hecan help how much he wants to be with you always…

 And if you’renot together, the idea of you being with someone else starts to burn him… Yes,he thought it was alright, that as long as you’re happy, that’s all thatmatters, but… It’s not so. It’s not okay. His entire being seems to be on firewhen he thinks about it and he closes his fists so hard that his nails cut hispalms.

 Well,that’s how love it, right? He loves you and when you love someone, you want tobe with them and make sure they are happy. It’s only natural… And you’re such agreat person, so many cruel things could happen to you… But you don’t have toworry. You don’t have to ever be sad. He can take care of you! He loves you somuch, surely he can make you happy!

 And, asmentioned, even if you’re already in a relationship with him, it won’t matter inthe end. Feelings of this nature are not going to be hidden for long, not withLeorio. But by the time you’re forced to face them, it will be too late.

Don’tbother protesting: Leorio will make sure you understand you’re his. As much ashe wants your acceptance, it’s something that he knows he will have with time.

 Leoriomight be contrary to threatening your loved ones, but it doesn’t mean he won’tdo so, should he consider it necessary (after all, the pain of those we careabout is always efficient to ensure “cooperation”)… Of course, he actually has other resources available you wouldn’t expect before resorting to this. And hewill make sure you have no loopholes, no opportunities, no chances of ever leavinghim, so even when you’re out in public, you’re still under his control.

 Not thathe would ever allow you to go anywhere without him.

 As caringas Leorio can be, crying won’t help you. It will break his heart to see yourtears, no doubt, but he considers them a necessary evil. They’ll only make himhold you close, whispering sickening words of comfort and of how much he lovesyou. Arguing that this isn’t love will only make him twist your words. He doeslove you and someday you’ll understand this. Trying to fight back willupset him and also be of little result. Leorio might not seem the most powerfulman around, but you’ll be surprised if you try to use force (and depending onhow he uses against you as a means to control you, you might decide it’s notworth the risk).

 Escaping?Impossible.

 Perhaps,one of the worst things, is how Leorio somehow keeps being his usual selfenough for you to remember who he is (or you thought he was), what you likedabout him and the good times you had together. The way he acts as if this is anormal relationship doesn’t help it.

 But atthe same time, you can’t fool yourself. You don’t need to push much to see thatglint in his eyes, hinting to what he believes to be love (and might be, butcertainly not the healthy kind) and every time he holds you close, as gentle ashe is, you feel as if you’re being hurt. Even if you cry that he is abusingyou, Leorio will just ask how he’s abusing you. Come now, dear, has he ever hurtyou or forced himself upon you? All he is doing is to make sure you’re safe.

 As soonas you accept your new life, you’ll see how happy you can be! After all, you’lllearn to love him in time.

 It’s notlike you have much of a choice, now, is there?

[canvasofthecosmos]

Lilith- Truth Coming out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

(Painting by Jean-Léon Gérôme)

History:

Lilith was the original Eve, created from the same soil as Adam. Her name comes from the Babylonian “Lilitu” meaning “female demon” or “wind spirit”. When Adam insisted that he should be dominant, Lilith dared to question him. After all, they were crafted from the same Earth. She wished only to be equal, but was demonized for this. She was, thus, cast out of Eden. Allegedly, she created thousands of demon spawn and devoured infants by the bucketful. These accusations are falsehoods, crafted by those fearful of her righteous autonomy. Any havoc Lilith wrought was only out of woundedness, like the actions of a feral animal. She was shunned for speaking truth.

The “me too” movement is an expression of Lilith, where women show solidarity for the abuses they’ve suffered in silence. It is Lilith who exposes patriarchal corruption. Women become likened to banshees when they dare show rage. However, it would be limited to interpret Lilith only from the perspective of gender-based conflict. She is pure gut-instinct and extends far beyond sexual independence.

Lilith represents one’s ability to say “no” to what doesn’t feel right. She is pure root-chakra wisdom. The knowledge of the earth, muddy and messy. In one’s chart, she shows where you can become in-touch with your own body-wisdom. It’s this feeling in your stomach that says “heck yes!!!” or “this person makes my skin crawl.” Such intuition doesn’t align with left-brained, scientific modes of analysis.

The Signs/Houses:

Much like the asteroid chiron, Lilith represents a rejection wound in one’s chart. It’s where you speak your truth and no one wants to hear it. You put your heart on the line, but your desire for connection made someone cringe. You state your needs, and people ask “why do you have to be so difficult???” All you want is for someone to see the ferocious warmth beneath your intensity.

*if you have Lilith aspecting a planet, read the description for the sign it rules. Ex: sun would be Leo, Mercury would be Virgo or Gemini*

Aries/1st house: Daring to express oneself. The human embodiment of Lilith. Carnal. Someone who is known for butting heads with others. Notorious warrior. Fighting for the underdog is a part of one’s identity. Poster-boy of rejection wounds. Someone who feels like they’re “too much”, either bottling themselves up or living up to the expectation. Starting fights and then running to lick your wounds. Riling people up to get the negative attention you’re accustomed to. Truthfully, desiring authentic love that’s not based on filtering your personality into something more palatable.

Taurus/2nd house: someone who was told their desires are wrong. Being told you’re gluttonous for taking care of basic needs. Primal, all-consuming hunger. Eating disorders and shameful indulgence. A desire to consume one thing until you get sick of it. Ferociously guarding personal belongings and beliefs. Hoarding. A strong need to listing to one’s body, even if what it asks for doesn’t match conventional wisdom. Bullied for one’s weight. Earthly intuition. An unadulterated love for oneself that makes others uncomfortable. Intoxicatingly stubborn. Harsh & deep-set standards of morality.

Gemini/3rd house: saying things about people that hit a little too close to home. The thought process is primal. Knowing why people say the things they say. Reading people like a book. Ruthlessly pointing out falsehoods. Lilith is the trickster here, wearing many masks. Infamous for being inconsistent. Obsession with social dynamics, due to past rejection by “the tribe”. An outcast during school years. Extreme fear of missing out. Hiding taboo thoughts for fear of rejection. Unable to learn in a conventional fashion. Reading about the occult, depth psychology, myths, and anything else focusing on the core of human nature.

Cancer/4th house: the mother as an untamable Lilith figure. Standing up for one’s relatives. Someone with a dubious past. Mother was deemed insane or illogical. Black sheep. Feral obsession with comfort. Finding comfort in brutal honesty and ruthless emotional depth. Being deemed “impossible to live with”. High standard of living. Needing to set boundaries with one’s family and living situation. Controversial self-care. Knowing what truly matters. Fierce protector of the young and helpless. Savage goddess of the hearth. Periodic seclusion within one’s cave. Emotions take on a life of their own, going in bestial rampages.

Leo/5th house: Being ruthless becomes a game. The sin of unfiltered selfhood, becoming demonized for having fun. Toying with people’s hearts. Love/hate relationships. Compulsive validation needs. Hobbies may be taboo or the parents could’ve encouraged them to keep to themselves. Flames of desire emanate, pulsing like pyrotechnics. Rejected during childhood games. If they have kids, they’re likely the brutally honest sort. Children provide surprising bits of wisdom. This is someone who feels guilt for wanting to live a little. Unfiltered emotional expression can be too much for others. Heart swells at the slightest provocation. Needs to do what is simply in their nature, as those who matter will honor their authenticity.

Virgo/6th house: Compulsive organizational systems that seem illogical to others. Angry cleaning. Power of the gut-brain connection. Nature’s way of healing itself, clashing with the business of modern medicine. Disagreeable coworkers, or disagreeing with them yourself. Infamous at your place of work. The intestines strongly reject certain foods, so that you have to listen carefully. The diet may fluctuate daily. Acquired knowledge about nutrition and health may be of the controversial variety (carnivore diet, intuitive medicine, low oxalates, etc). Routines which may appear feral, but ground one in their body. People may take your high strandards personally, as they don’t know how to set boundaries themselves. A knot in your stomach tells you if something isn’t good for you.

Libra/7th house: Others are a mirror for the part of you that possesses unabated self-knowledge. Attracted to people ruled by irrational instinct. Must be careful to set clear boundaries in interactions with others. Compulsive need to interact and form partnerships, which may overwhelm others. Wild charm. Demonizing others. Wanting someone to teach you how to think for yourself. Partner helps you return to & nourish your body. Guttural wisdom exchanged in daily interactions. Best friend is someone incredibly grounded, who lives authentically. You demonize or idolize those who think for themselves.

Scorpio/8th house: psychoanalyzing others before they can do they same to you. A lifestyle that allows for a great deal of secrecy. Obscure & impenetrable. Unreavealing of cavernous depths of feeling, because they fear no one is brave enough to explore these shadows. Making people uncomfortable by purging every secret at once. Being abandoned once you reveal your true self. People offering “gifts” with treacherous strings attached. Unhealthy relationship dynamics- one person is running while the other is chasing. Being stalked or doing the stalking. Unearthing other’s rejection wounds. Shamanic. Concealed impulses. Instinctual need for closeness, where everything is shared. Their “soul mate” is someone ruthless.

Sagittarius/9th house: Too much to handle. Cycles of binging and purging. Living a life of excess. May attract questionable travel companions. Worldview is based on sharing hard truths to all who will listen. This is not someone who minces their words, though they’ve been told time and time again to keep their mouths shut. Their opinions are of the controversial variety, though they are rarely wrong. Arguments are a playground. Saying “no” to the religious doctrine pushed upon you as a child. A skeptic, because they know better in their gut. Higher education brings out compulsive tendencies. May confront teachers & all traditional knowledge. Tearing self-proclaimed gurus down with sharp wit.

Capricorn/10th house: Social pariah. Sex symbol. Businesses that involve female empowerment. Glitzy. Destined to become infamous. Dense and frenzied energy remains when you leave the room. Man-eater. Insatiable need for recognition, tearing one’s way through the corporate ladder. Symbol of truth. Breaking out of the box society has placed you in. The father/dominant parent may have been a “difficult” person. Lack of respect for false or corrupt authority. Innate power. “Bad cop”. Sticking it to the man. Fear of subordination. Intimidating competence and confidence. Cimmerian. Public symbol of authenticity. Honest evaluation of societal structures. Organized chaos.

Aquarius/11th house: Friendship isn’t taken lightly. May associate with controversial people. Freaks. Love/hate relationship towards humanity. Scaring aqaintances. Inundating society with knowledge they’re not yet ready for. Untethered. Jealousy towards those who meld into groups, causing them to further isolate. A reject, estranged from reality. Diabolical. Deep desire to be included. Obsession with what everyone else is doing. Violent subcultures. Strangers invading the native’s personal space, or vice versa. Electric compulsions, jolting the native out of old ways of being. These sudden consciousness shifts perturb others. Radical awareness of the body. They’ve been told to keep their visions of the future to themselves. The divine feminine is crowned in a fluorescent blue halo, lifted above the earth by undulating nimbus clouds.

Pisces/12th house: Beastial dreamscape. The Feminine Wild is both feared and revered. Fantasies of standing up for yourself. Trouble accessing your instinctive and earthy side. Conduit for collective delirium. Dissolution. Substance abuse. Ignoring instinct is your self-undoing. Surrendering autonomy. Deemed too hysterical, sensitive, and irresponsible. Freedom comes from claiming spiritual dominion. Knowing what your dreams and subconscious yearnings mean, becoming defensive when people dismiss your interpretations. Crawling out of your skin. Arcane knowledge via escapism. Odd methods of psychological mending.

[lotornomiko]

The Broken Hearted Comfort Chapter Two (Not safe for work at times)

Finished tweaking two. (More than a tweak actually.) Some...dark content warning for Hook's fantasizing at the end....it was naughty and not necessarily nice in nature! ^^;'

Hook Belle Pairing, Once Upon A Time

He would not last even two days, before he was back at the tavern. Not even a full forty eight hours had gone by, and yet Hook was there, actively looking for the woman. She however, was not found at what had been deemed her customary seat at the tavern's bar, that little stool long left vacant before the pirate had ever stalked in. That alone was odd and telling, the pattern the young woman had maintained now broken, and no one could say for sure why. No one save the pirate, and he wasn’t offering up his sin for the gossips’ tongues to wag with.

Desperate to find her, and made agitated when the hours passed, and her seat still remained empty, it was all that Hook could do, to not turn a suspicious eye at the other men in this tavern. More than once had he scanned each table, even the ones in the darker corners of this grand room, hoping to catch sign of the woman playing court with another. Not that such an idea fit the image that he had of her, for though she had been led to ruin at his hands, the young lass was still an innocent at heart. Pure and relatively untouched, Hook doubted she would sit with another, regardless of the fact so many of the men here would have likely killed for the chance to have such a lush beauty join them. It wasn’t as uncharitable thought as he might have meant it to be, not when Hook couldn’t blame them, not when he felt that same killing urge for the just the chance of her.

It was enough to have made him almost laugh then, if only there was even the slightest thing amusing about the situation. But there wasn't, Hook dreadfully sober, driven to needs he didn't quite understand or like. But the fact still remained, he needed to see that woman again. Hook wished it was for an unselfish reason, almost wished he was driven by the need to make amends for what he had done to her that other night. He wasn't, Hook driven solely by the desire to find and fuck that woman again, to have her bring him to that quiet place where nothing else mattered except the few minutes of pleasure he had gotten from pounding into her body.

It still took him aback, that need, and the discovery he had inadvertently chanced upon, the woman having had some strange, almost magical kind of effect on him. She had let him feel a pleasure like no other, not just that of a sexual satisfaction, but that of a kind of mind’s quiet, the memory of her, and the guilt, leaving the pirate focused on something other than the potent thoughts that had lingered for so many years like some ghostly terror intent on his every waking minute and then some, wallowing in an eternal torment. Instead, since that night in the alleyway, he had been distracted, from it, from Milah, even from his revenge, Hook finding himself consumed with what he had first thought was an uncharacteristic guilt. Focused unwavering on the woman, on the quiet those thoughts of her had given him in turn, Hook had finally felt able to breathe. To be something other than a tortured soul intent on revenge and suicide, that quiet earned, had been nothing short of an unasked for blessing. One he was ready to do just about anything for, feeling less reckless, less wild, but also made desperate, needing that peace, that quiet in his head.

To a man as tortured as Hook, that quiet, that peace, was a blessing that was secondary to any bodily pleasure he could have gotten from her. He still found himself craving both, that of the woman’s body, and the exaggerated effect she had seemingly had on him. He was desperate for it, for her, that magic an effect that was fading the longer he went without, his memories starting to seep back in, manifesting in dreams and visions that stalked and haunted him as the most extreme of nightmares. His life spiking to new levels of intensity when it came to such suffering, such grief and such sorrow, only thoughts of seeing that woman again could hold it all at bay, Hook needing the break she offered from it all.

Wanting to exist for more than a handful of seconds without those memories, without recalling how quickly Milah’s eyes had gone dim, her brutal slaying at the hands of the coward, the monster, had been the only thing truly fueling him, truly motivating the pirate to press on. Damaged by the memories, of his inability to prevent the murder from happening, from not even being able to whisper to her one last “I love you” before she had gone to the great beyond, he had always thought himself cursed with so much of the impossible, and that including the inability to let go and move on. He had tried, for more lifetimes than should have been his, and yet nothing and no one had ever come close to making him want to move on. Perhaps nothing ever would, that moment and a few hundred others, forever seared into his mind, both the good and the bad times blurring together into one painful throbbing wound that lay naked and exposed even now.

Unwell, he had latched onto the only port in the storm. To a woman who was suffering in so similar a manner to Hook. He was halfway to the point of an unhealthy obsession, Hook half hoping it had been a fluke for what had happened. Half hoping but terrified to find out either way, Hook not knowing what he'd do if it didn't work, if the quiet didn't come and maintain. Worse yet was what he would do if it did keep on happening, concerned over the lengths he would go to, to make sure that it continued.

Not sure what outcome to pray for, Hook would stay seated at the corner table. It was in direct line of the tavern's two entrances, Hook watching stone faced in the hopes that each new arrival would be HER. It never was, yet another hour passing. His table became littered with drinks, all untouched. The tavern waitress could only shake her head in bemusement, not understanding the point to Hook wasting his gold on something that he refused to actually drink.

It was a small price to pay, if Hook could remain in the tavern, the drinks just an excuse to keep the table reserved for his use alone. He had a feeling he'd be there for hours more, and yet still the woman did not show, Hook wondering why. Growing angry with frustration, and wondering just how badly had he hurt her that she now chose to avoid the one and only place that they had in common.

The next hour would see Smee's arrival, the short, older man making a beeline for Hook's table. He wouldn't wait for permission, taking hold of one of the drink mugs and plopping his fat ass down on a stool.

"Her name is Belle." Smee announced before taking a big swallow of the drink. Immediately, Hook's attention was all for the red cap wearing man, anticipation and that need stirring within him. "She hasn't been back to this place since."

Hook frowned. Was he that distasteful to her, that she'd alter her nights, change her routine so completely? Even after she had liked his kisses, if not the outcome that they had led to? He nearly groaned out loud, Hook coming closer to realizing just how thoroughly he had butchered things with her. Treating her little better than a whore, using her with no regard to the fact that before she had met him, she had been a complete innocent.

"I'd ask what went on between you two...." Smee began, in between drinks. "But I hazard I can guess."

"The details are not any of your concern." growled Hook in warning. "You need only to locate her."

"Ah that..." Smee kept him waiting, savoring Hook's impatience more than the drink in his hands.

"Yes that." Hook grit out, having to remind himself that Smee was useful and for that reason alone he should not throttle him. After all, Smee had a talent for finding that which was lost. Be it information, items, or even people.

"I must say, Belle is proving almost harder to locate than any information on your OTHER quarry."

Hook felt an irrational rage at hearing her name on Smee's lip. The older man seemed to read the anger in Hook's eyes, nervously setting down his drink.

"I found a room." Smee finally revealed. "She's been staying at a nearby inn."

Something closer to relief starting to flood through him, and then the rest of what Smee had said, registered.

"Been staying? As in she's no longer there?"

"It's the strangest thing really..." Smee stated. "Seems she's up and disappeared."

"Disappeared? Nonsense." Hook scoffed even as his stomach clenched in unease.

"People are unexpectedly uncooperative, on revealing just what has happened." Smee continued. "I've heard several stories, all remaining unconfirmed on just where she could have gone. Anything from her leaving to track down some beast terrorizing a town, to her having gotten a job cleaning for some rich noble."

Both seemed equally absurd, Hook unable to imagine her as a hunter of monsters, or even as just a servant.

"What do you believe to be the truth?"

"Couldn't really say." Smee offered apologetically. "The only thing is, she left in such a hurry, she didn't take the time to gather her things."

A spark of interest filled Hook. "They're still at the inn?"

"Every last one." Smee confirmed. Hook abruptly stood, tossing enough coins on the table to cover the rest of the drinks. "Captain?"

"Keep your eyes and ears sharp Mr. Smee." Hook told him.

"That goes without saying. But..." A worried Smee frowned. "What do you intend to do?"

"I'm going to do a bit of snooping of my own." retorted Hook, something that could almost be an unpleasant smile crossing his lips.

Smee seemed to shiver to see it. "All right...but..." Hook gestured impatiently for Smee to continue. "Has....our focus changed?" He hastened to explain. "I mean....for over a year now, you've been obsessed with tracking HIM down. Now all of a sudden, you have me break from searching out info about HIM, to look for some girl? I just wonder why."

"I think I might have lost my mind..." A wry look then. "Or whatever of it was left. But no, Mr. Smee. My focus remains the same. I will find the crocodile, and I will have my revenge. One way or the other."

"But the girl?"

"Have you ever been in love Mr. Smee?" The older man shook his head no. "Then you wouldn't possibly understand what moves me now."

"I suppose you're right. But really...love seems to be nothing but trouble."

"That we can both agree on, Mr. Smee." Hook said without any real amusement. He'd pause only long enough to get the name of the inn from Smee, then hurried to it. Located a few blocks from the tavern, it was one of the more reputable inns. A finer class of building then even Hook was used to staying in. Not that he couldn't afford such a place, but Hook had never been one for sleeping in such establishments. Not when brothels offered a cheaper and more satisfying solution to the one need he'd have for an inn.

He couldn't even imagine bringing a whore to a place this nice. Hell, he couldn't even imagine them renting out the rooms by the hour, not in a place so clean and well cared for. A family establishment, both in the people who ran it and the customers who used it.

And yet the desk clerk wasn't above being bribed, not only telling Hook what little he knew of the woman, but letting him into her room. A few more gold coins got Hook the privacy that he required, the pirate feeling like some kind of stalker as he moved about the bedroom, touching her things. She had enough dresses for every day of the week and then some, the woman clearly well off financially. He wondered about that, wondered about a woman that rich traveling on her own.

She should have been surrounded by attendants, by servants and body guards. She should have been treated like a princess, not frequenting some tavern to fall prey to the first pirate that came along. Even if that pirate had been him, Hook knowing what an effect he was prone to having on ladies.

Frowning, he walked around her room, trying to learn more about her. Finding a surprising number of books, the woman well educated enough to be able to read. In the bathroom, he found her pretty blue dress, the laces still damaged, the skirts stained with some spots of her blood and his come. He should have cringed with guilt, instead a sensory memory came to him, Hook remembering how it had felt inside her, with his mind blessedly focused on nothing but pleasing himself.

His fingers turned crushing on the dress' bodice, and then he abruptly jerked back as if stung. Stumbling back into the bedroom, knowing he would find no real clues, and yet lingering anyway. Ending up by the bed, pulling the sheets back, and smelling them. Smelling her, her sweet scent still lingering faintly there. It was different from the other night. Then the rain had clung to her skin, fresh and overpowering much of her sweetness.

Inhaling deeply, the scent of strawberries and cream coming to mind, Hook groaned and laid down flat on the bed. Stretching his arms out, imagining what it would be like to have her resting against him. To have her in this bed with him, Hook actually showing her the care and tenderness a woman like her was entitled too.

Groaning, Hook rolled onto his stomach. He got a face full of pillow, smelling the scent of her hair there. Another sensory memory, Hook remember when he had bit the woman's shoulder. She had cried out, Hook breathing in the scent of her hair as he moved his tongue over the bite mark in apology. But he hadn't really been sorry, Hook having worked on instincts alone. Now that he was here, and could think about it, it was arousing to think the woman was walking around marked so by him.

It'd be even better if she was here now, where Hook could look upon the bite mark with pride and possession in his eyes. Where he could cover her with similar, biting down on that tender flesh to make her cry out like that again. Her cries of the other night seemed to echo in his mind, Hook shifting, finding his arousal reaching that uncomfortable state.

There was no one around to see, to hear, Hook lifting up enough to get the front of his pants undone. He kept his face down on the pillow, nostrils flaring to get more of her scent. He really was going crazy to even think about stroking himself off in the stranger's rented room at the inn. And yet here he was, his remaining hand grabbing almost roughly at his stiffening length.

A few strokes back and forth along his length, and his cock stiffened further. His fingers tightened their grip, his hand making a squeezing fist. He didn't start moving his hips right away, just using his hand, a teasing he almost never engaged in. But he was too busy calling to mind the memory of that rain soaked night, remembering the kisses that had been shared, and the sweet, enveloping heat that had coiled tight around his cock. Remembering the near mindless pleasure, and the way the woman had been crying out, the memory of her sounds goading him on, and then Hook was pumping, hips moving like a mad thing. Frenzied and frantic, Hook trying to make his fist as tight as the woman's virginal body had been. Failing, almost cursing over the fact he couldn't replicate the sensations of her all too pleasing body, Hook was growling into the pillow one minute, then breathing deeply the next.

Wilder yet, thrusting as violently as he could into his moving fist, Hook couldn't come fast enough. Literally, the climax drifting just out of reach, taunting him. He bit down on a pillow to hold in his infuriated scream, Hook half crazed and knowing if the woman were to walk in on him at right this moment, he'd have pounced on her like some wild animal.

No worse than a wild animal, Hook having a clear purpose in mind. Throwing her down onto the bed, not even taking the time to rip her out of her clothes. Just throwing one of those lacy skirts over her head, finding the slit in her panties, and digging his tongue in. Working that muscle until she was as desperate with need as he was, her body soaked in the liquid proof.

And then later, when he had calmed down, when he wasn't so blinded by lust, he'd spend the time needed to learn everything about her body. To learn just how to lick her to make her squeal, to find just the spot to touch with his fingers that would send her arching up off the bed. So many things to try out, Hook knowing that every woman was different, and having enough variation in his skills to believe he could satisfy every single one, even one he had hurt, like he had hurt Belle.

“Belle!”

It was the first time he had actually used her name, and now it was like a mantra, whispered over and over to the pillow. He was sweating, panting, moisture beading on the tip of his cock. It was actually painful, the skin red and throbbing. He began pounding his hook on the mattress, tearing up the sheets. Shouting her name, hips giving a mighty seize forward and instant before he jettisoned come all over the sheets.

His body gave a few more spastic thrusts forward, but there was nothing left to shoot, Hook empty for the moment. Empty in more ways than one, the lustful haze receding to the realization that he hadn't been thinking about Milah, about her murder, or about Rumplestiltskin. Not in the minutes that had just happened, or the time before it, when Hook had gone through the woman's things. Hell, even at the tavern, the instant Smee had announced her name, Hook had been too focused on finding her, to think about anything else. Let alone let his grief and anger consume him.

But here now they came, brought to life by the mere realization of the lack of them. Catching him in their grip, making him rage, Hook choking back an infuriated sound. Wondering what was wrong with him, what spell had the woman managed to cast over him to make him forget such pain when she wasn't even in the room with him. Feeling shame faced that just thoughts of her could make him so crazed, and feeling worse guilt as Hook realized he really would do just about anything to have her. To force her to stay by his side, and in his bed.

It wasn't love. It was desperation through and through. It was crazy, it was wild, and yet she, Belle, made everything seem all right for just a while. For a man like Hook, who hadn't had real peace of mind in over many a year's time, she was everything that he needed. A need Hook was finding, that would justify any means....

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To Be Continued....

8/24/2021 Updated! This one, the opening got more than just a tweaking. I actually did a fair bit of rewriting that I hope proves for the better!

----Michelle