#insurance will see it as something you don't “need”
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I come from a family riddled with chronic and congenital health issues, which wasn't THE ONLY reason I went into healthcare and public health policy, but it **helped**
Throughout my own chronic health journey two things have struck me over and over again as part of this issue are
1) medical doctors from more traditional specialties have a history of starting out *at best* vaguely compassionate, and steadily cruising through "confused and irritated" all the way into "actively coordinating with other medical providers to medically neglect you". This means that often, the only doctors who have been both compassionate, sure they could help, and willing to keep trying for YEARS on end without hesitation or frustration, WERE CONMEN
They could afford to be all of those things. Because all they needed was for me to keep showing up at their door to pay my invoices. Meanwhile, actual doctors are accountable to licensing boards, health insurance companies, and a dozen other entities for why they're spending time and money on me, and the longer they have to do those things, the more of a problem they have.
2) there comes a day, a threshold of desperation, where you just need someone to make anything even a little bit better, and if they can do that, they might as well be your god now. Everyone's threshold is different. I hit mine in my late 20s, after over 15 years of increasingly despondant care-seeking, but I know others hit it faster or slower. When this moment comes, it is very easy for a conman to roll up, do something batshit, and manage to make you feel just better enough to be willing to try whatever batshit thing they suggest next. And it doesn't hurt that these are also the only people to act like they believe me when I described the things that were happening, whereas a lot of doctors and nurses I've seen just nod and smile and cruise past it, like the ER doctor the other day who was repeatedly informed that I was having an episode of an orthostatic heart condition and A) didn't run a tilt table, B) didn't even bother to take my heart rate in more than one position, C) DIDN'T EVALUATE MY **HEART** AT ALL BECAUSE HE FOCUSED ON MY NECK AND BRAIN WHERE PAIN WAS MANIFESTING INSTEAD OF MY HEART WHICH HE WAS REPEATEDLY INFORMED WAS CAUSING THE PAIN, and D) didn't treat my dehydration AT ALL despite this being a severe flag for further episodes, and further episodes being a high head-trauma risk for me.
The cons who have "treated" me all ran the kinds of tests that my future doctors simply REFUSE to order, but are happy to hear the results from when I pass them on! Even helped me get them paid for when I couldn't afford things like genetic counseling or complex blood tests. They have all been *weirdly helpful* even when I can see how much bullshit they're also saying.
But it's taken me having multiple degrees in related specialties to be able to parse (MOSTLY) the bullshit from the valuable ideas. And the whole point of having doctors is that not everyone should HAVE to be a medical professional just to get medical care!
I don't know that I have solutions here or especially helpful observations, but I think part of the fear I've been developing about all this is "the medical system is failing so many people so often that even KNOWING someone is a quack isn't enough to stop patients from seeing them if they're a quack who can produce what looks like results"
It feels like the line between "alternative medicine scams" and legit medical info is crumbling apart and it scares the hell out of me.
I was on youtube looking up some stuff for my friend, to see what unreliable stuff they might have to watch out for, and there are a lot of scams being pushed by people who are using academic-sounding terminology and appear to the uneducated outsider (me) to actually have an understanding of the science. A lot of these people either are medical doctors or are posing as medical doctors using a sketchy bullshit degree from some obscure illegitimate institution.
What's more, there's a lot of content creators enabling this by building their channels around vague, essentially benign claims that are too unspecific to be labeled misinformation, like "Avoiding these foods could help with this condition!"
Like yeah, in the broadest sense, maybe eating less "refined sugars" could make you feel better, but once you watch this video, the algorithm immediately starts pushing other videos with similar titles making similar claims, except those claims are "Refined sugars cause disabilities and cancer," and that will bring you to "Sugar is a drug more addictive than cocaine and you can detox by eating only raw beef and butter."
I got recommended a Jordan Peterson video within 3 clicks of simply putting the name of a chronic illness into youtube search.
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Everyone is suggesting stocking up on morning after pills in case they get banned. And Yes! do that! But also if you do not plan to bare a child in the next few years look into long term birth controls.
Even Missouri never banned long term birth controls. They just make you take a pregnancy test before being prescribed it. So as long as you are not currently pregnant and want to avoid having a child during the next 4 years get on long term birth control.
Call Planned Parenthood today because the wait list is usually a month out for the earliest appointment. If they plan to attack abortion and birth control options day one you want to get prescribed them before jan. In case they make it incredibly hard to get prescribed it. But one doctor visit and they can prescribe you the Depo shot for a year. Depo is the least invasive option. If you go for one of the inserts those last years on their own. They just have the risk of slipping and you not know it until after you've become pregnant.
Depo; lasts 3 months, stops or lightens most periods, and income based PP charge 0-20 dollars for low income people to get it every 3 months. You qualify for low income even/especially without insurance. At full price it's 70-90 dollars every 3 months. but if you make less than 30k a year you qualify as low income.
TLDR: Long term birth controls are less likely to be banned and at least will take longer to ban compared to abortion pills. Conservatives don't want to "kill the embryo" which is what they see morning after pills as doing. Long term birth controls stop the embryo from even forming. Look into the Depo or other options before Jan and get prescribed it so you are at least set for the next year.
#politics#us politics#birth control#planned parenthood#election 2024#I know some are looking into surgery's to get their tubes tied#but that's expensive#and even if you find a doctor that will perform it on someone under 40#that doesn't mean insurance will cover it if you are under 40#insurance will see it as something you don't “need”#Depo is far cheaper and at the very least not permanent#i don't want a large chunk of the queer community voluntarily sterilizing themselves#you do know sterilizing the gays is one of the Right's goals right?#don't do something permanent when there are still other options
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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I see people in the comments are confused about this so allow me, a trans masc with chest dysphoria, to explain a bit more.
Several of my family members have had different kinds of cancer with varying symptoms, severities, and complications. So I knew how horrible it was to have, even if when I was younger I didn't fully get what was happening.
That said, yes I have 'fantasized' about getting breast cancer. It's less of the romanticizing that people tend to imagine and more 'I didn't have another word for imagining a reality where the end result is something I really want/need'. It's not that I wanted cancer and what came with it. It's that I wanted top surgery, and as a 14 year old without trans friendly insurance and no parental consent, there was no way I was getting anything beyond talk therapy for my gender dysphoria until I was the age of majority.
And that's exactly what happened. I finally got HRT at 19. But even as an adult, I can't access top surgery through insurance until I'm 21. So I'm still stuck in this weird limbo of 'if I had a life-threatening disease, maybe insurance would actually help me find someone qualified for these surgeries' and 'I don't want a life threatening disease in order to get the care I need'.
If you want to help actually, you can donate to my GoFundMe.
Gofundme
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
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i like to think of myself who's relatively normal about holding grudges and the like but. i'm also still incredibly upset about something that happened in... february, i'd wager. especially given that it's relatively minor and i don't think anyone except for me is physically capable of taking seriously
#whenever i fight with my family i am not only fighting about the current topic but also the Pie Thing (except for my brother. i don't think#was there)#they don't know that though#it's about the betrayal of it all! my trust in others is perhaps naive#sigh#i need to yell at somebody about it but that really is not something that comes up naturally#“hey remember when you ate my pie two months ago and didn't tell me”#i was very dramatic about it. unfortunately the situation has not been resolved and so i am unable to see the humor in my lighting a single#candle on a single slice of pie and then blowing it out and also crying the entire time#it will be funny someday though. i can feel it#finn says shit#ventposting. or whatever#oh also the car thing turned out fine. the lady got my insurance and my parents aren't even mad at me which is fascinating. parenting W
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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by
#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about#but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were#and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat#as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like#a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain#it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot#i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds#i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh#political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore#they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get#but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk#i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers#here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now#it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths#i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how#burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that#i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up#could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me#coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage#you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao#i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now#bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will#i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail#also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e#no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it#i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course#idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do#anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand#shai speaks
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Search history full of "how to do therapy by yourself" ahahaha
#i don't have the guts to see a therapist and it would be much too stressful and difficult to even get it approved by health insurance etc#but i guess the good thing is i'm willing to do something? and work on myself?#because i think i've been getting worse in the last two years and i wanna get rid of this shit or at least make it better#i had a Realization Moment earlier which finally made me see what's wrong with me and i feel like i had a marian apparition or smth#anyways feel free to help if you have any tips or know of good free resources#still not entirely sure what the problem is but it's depression attachment issues abandonment issues anxiety and the like#don't know if it's something like bpd too but i need to delve deeper into that stuff anyway#mel talks
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Kade was starting to get a little antsy at the prodding but he wasn't blaming Chloe for it. She had every right to be curious, to worry about him. Last night's episode centered around her and it would make sense to any logical person that she would blame herself even if it wasn't her fault. And it wasn't. "I've been neglecting things for awhile. Even before you and I..." How did he describe the change between her winning a drinking contest between the two of them and what had happened in the bathtub? They weren't dating, even though he would absolutely consider her his girlfriend if he was given permission. But they were something, right? "Seeing my therapist might have helped..." He'd neglected that too, thinking if he just buried himself in work that he'd be too busy for his mind to catch up with him. Unfortunately that seemed to play a big part in his downfall.
"You're not a loser," he argued. "I think we both have a lot of shit we deal with inside of us that comes from different places. I know you don't feel that way but I let the tiny worry that you might not want anything to do with me because of who I am and what I deal with be louder than the voice that knows better." That part of him knew she cared, couldn't deny it. Couldn't let her deny it either, really. It was too obvious. "Can we talk about that stuff later?" If there needed to be more conversation about it, anyway. Kade just needed a break. "If it was an expense to begin with I'm sure we had insurance on it. Shouldn't be hard to get you a new one today." He could see that the conversation was bothering her but he wasn't letting it go just yet. "Hey - this isn't the same as me getting you a gift. Strictly from a business standpoint, you need a new phone. My company pays for that. That's not even really just me. The whole Conroy family operates out of the same company. Makes it easier for us. It's a business expense. Easy to fix. Had to replace my own three times last year."
"Spare sheets are in the linen closet in the hall. I'll help you make the bed. Not that you would know," he teased. "But the spare room is freezing. If we stay in my room I'll let you turn on the floors."
That image of hime will never leave her mind. She knows it's a bold thing to say, but she knows in her gut, it will stay with her. Letting out a small sigh, she hated herself for playing with his mind and emotions. "In what way? If you were to be honest now, what would you say about where you were mentally?" She knew Grace said he couldn't be pushed, but she needed to try. "And would this have built up the way it did if you were seeing your therapist more regularly?" She didn't want to scold him, but she wanted to support him, which means scheduling therapy appointments, both as his assistant and his girlfriend- whoa. The subtlety that thought came to her stunned her for a second, abort, abort, abort. Looking back at him forcefully focusing on him to deter her own inner spiral.
Smiling and letting out a soft chuckle at the thought of slapping him across the face, her facial expression soured the more he divulged his inner thoughts. "Wow, those thoughts either really hate me or are out to get you." She tried to joke. She could see he was embarrassed and her heart hurt for him because he had no reason for it. "You know I don't feel that way right?" She knew he admitted it was a stupid thought, but she wanted him to hear it from her. "Especially when I'm not 'dealing' with you. If anything, you're 'dealing' with me. You have a legitimate diagnosis to back up your stuff, I'm just... a naive and gullible idiot." Chuckling at her own expense. "I don't know," She said awkwardly disliking any talk around money, specifically someone else buying her anything. "It is an expense, technically, but I can get my own phone. You pay be very well to be able to afford a new one." She felt so awkward as if she had insects crawling underneath her skin, "It's fine, I can buy it." She said quickly, desperate for this conversation to be over, "I'll buy it later, or tomorrow, or whenever." She nodded. "You know, I really like getting back into bed idea. Where are your spare sheets? I can go make the bed, or we can use that guest room I've been neglecting."
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it is the dreadposting hours ur honor
#we're in the cutting corners to survive era of our life rn and that's why we're looking for new insurance.. these past few years we've#hardly done medical things beyond the standard doctor/allergist/dentist visits so i'm partial to getting a plan with#low premiums bc 1. we can't afford to spend too much on it and 2. we haven't really needed it#BUT. while i'm looking at all of this the evil anxiety bug in my brain is like ah but. what if you were suddenly#diagnosed with.. THE DISEASE... i would like to pretend i do not see it#i'm nervous because. my dad puts my mom through so much shit that i worry something Could happen to her just on the basis of blood pressure#and stuff.. but i also worry that thinking about that kind of stuff makes it more likely to come true#fears aside.. girl i don't think any of my medications are approved under the plan i'm looking at which </3 agonies.. i think i would just#have to write to the insurance company or have a pcp write for me to get it approved? which hopefully isn't a big deal#but What If It Is.. i would die without fluocinolone O_O; i'm trying to get myself off of triam before my skin becomes addicted to it so#honestly it'd probably be more incentive to get off of it if i didn't have access to it.. but fluo is the only thing keeping me stable#right naurw ur honor <3 i should see if i can find my old receipts from the pharmacy to see how much it is without insurance#i remember when i used to get eucrisa.. it was like $900 without insurance and i was like. Ah. That's a Nightmare. :D so i hope the fluo#is cheaper.. i think it would be since the price was the original reason i got onto it anyways... :o much to consider#sriracha.txt#sorry for clogging up the dash i just have a lot of thoughts and fears wrt this stuff.. it feels a Lot More Adult than i am comfortable#handling if that makes sense?
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#ok rant cause i want to rant. im so tired my health is shit my iron levels are so low that my doctor prescribed it to be endovenous#for 5 months and my health insurance is trying to clown me and i want to scream i also just want to take a nap and have everything to be ok#but it's impossible lately cause when you're and adult there's always something happening and you don't get peace#and i just want five minutes of peace inside my head and i haven't been able to see my psychiatrist for what 4 months so far#and i also need to go back to therapy and yeah. that's it i guess.#youre an* also my keyboard is messing with me. or is it my fingers?#and imma keep complaining a little bit my hair is like SHIT no joking is so dry and nothing is working#because of the iron and the vitamin b that im lacking that i will also have to take shots to replenish it and aaaaaaa im just a baby i guess
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man it just feels kind of... i don't know. mean that with everything lately we're adding mystery joint pain, most persistently in my hands, to the pile.
like come on. come on. i can't even have this?!
#this seems somehow metaphysically spiteful#i know it's the luck of the fucking draw but god#i'm just trying to carve a little horse from wood#you don't even let me carve a little horse without my hands hurting (god i haven't even tried archery since i started hurting...)#meanwhile i'm fighting for my fucking life trying to get in with physical therapy for something that is NOT pain related#and they don't know what the fuck i'm talking about#was about to [REDACTED] on the phone with this girl who kept being like. okay but what PART of your body. like what HURTS.#i'm like there is no combination of words that is going to impart to you 'i have dysautonomia and people go to physical therapy for that'#you say on your WEBSITE that you have options for cardiac rehabilitation. i literally don't know what you need me to say.#(they didn't take my insurance anyway. lmao.)#sorry i'm feeling a little whiney this evening#i am so fucking sick of my doctors giving me a referral for something and then not giving me a location#'idk just find somewhere'#man i don't know what i'm doing wrong#it's all grinding me to dust and i can't even say this to people#at least tumblr i can just shout to the ether and be safely ignored (i mean this genuinely)#people don't feel compelled to give me shitty obvious advice the moment i think about expressing literally any discomfort#or give me the Weird Pity#literally had my dad once tell me 'you should try seeing a doctor'#like truly i live in a fucking sitcom#prattling about the self
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so in addition to the massive ringworm rashes on my lower legs, now some completely different mystery rashes are showing up here and there on me, too.
too bad i can't see a dermatologist without completely losing my health insurance 🙃🙃🙃
#i want to RIP OFF ALL MY SKIN#FIVE FUCKING MONTHS OF THIS SHIT#FIVE FUCKING MONTHS OF SOMETHING MY REGULAR DOCTOR CAN'T FIGURE OUT#SOMETHING THAT I *NEED* TO SEE A DERMATOLOGIST ABOUT#BUT THERE ARE *LITERALLY NONE* IN MY STATE THAT TAKE MY INSURANCE#AND IF WE TRY TO PAY FOR IT OURSELVES THEN I LOSE MY INSURANCE CAUSE#''OH I SEE YOU CAN PAY FOR DOCTORS YOURSELF I GUESS YOU DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE!!!''#I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY AND IN PAIN AND ITCHY AND I WANT TO CRY#if i lose my insurance then we'd never be able to pay for the many medications i need so really i'm just shit outta luck#guess i just gotta rip my skin off#maybe my insurance can pay for *that* hospital bill at least
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So Ang aka Recapkid aka Handsome Hugs aka whatever the fuck they calling themselves now* poisoning the discourse while doing exactly in rl what his art portrayed (allegedly) is why we don't get to have nice shit in ZADR fandom anymore, huh.
*My knowledge of Rek/Recapkid saga ended initially when they first made their first dramatic exit in fandom. Everything after is what I had to track down to verify tonight.
#there'll always be wolves among the sheep and obviously fuck your fandom if it hurts people yada yada#idk what to believe but it is apparent something is not right with ang beyond drawing sick cartoons#i've seen them get harassed and bullied years ago and they were toted as a fandom martyr#but i don't have a reason anymore to think the alleged abuse accusations about them is false anymore#and perhaps their victims did retaliate in such a way to ruin their life and have them lose their job health insurence#but by not taking the end of life care and persist to taunt them and play victim ang has made their case look worse and indefensible#that no matter how you slice it no matter what ang has went through and what they did or didn't do to these people they created bad optics#i predict we're going to get another monster ballooned into a bigger monster here and no apology or accountability#this person is like if chris chan had gotten nearly as far as john k. in terms of legitimacy and cult of personality#i'm not being glib if the full story is true#they were exposed time after time but kept muddying the waters like an abuser does by calling their victims the abusers#and people eat it up as lies spread around the world before the truth can put its shoes on#and then leave truth freezing in the rain when it's already not welcomed as lies makes itself at home with your hot cocoa and blanket#i was never invested in rek as i knew od rhen as a person like i saw so many in fandom were#but i see what looks like a bullying campaign and condemned that#but now i have to question if they staged the bullying and exit for sympathy points to fit a narrative#because no former child turned adult would doggedly follow around their abuser from account to account#because they stumbled upon or hacked their adult account and were traumatized to vengeance and decided they need to ruin lives#no it is because ang or rek or whatever couldn't fucking disappear for real and stop bothering these people and prey upon some new ones#again allegedly and just my opinion#idk the real facts than the they said she said of it all
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if i were not on T I'd be on my period right now
#tmi i know but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i was considering why i had such an intense craving for chocolate#and my (abnormaly) fucked sleep schedule and the increase in feeling like my skin is too small for my flesh#oh. yeah it's around the middle of the month#i had to miss like a week and a half of T last month while waiting on my new insurance#and i missed a few days at the beginning of October bc i was sick#so now my hormones are all fucked up#anyways. I've been up all night and i don't have go into work until 2. (it's 5:19. i have a four hour shift.)#i think I'll just bite the bullet and stay up because I'm off tomorrow#and obviously i need another day to sleep in because i have the past two days#see this is why i think i dislike night shifts now#yeah I'm not a morning person (store opens at fucking EIGHT. we have to be there at 7:45)#and it's a good two hours before you can expect me to be fully functional#but at least i have something i need to wake up for#otherwise I'm easily sleeping until eleven#i need to find a new job anyways#because I'm getting increasingly annoyed with this one#and i need something that pays better#(ive already gotten a rent notice from my landlord. if we don't pay the back-due 1020 and change we'll receive a 3-day on November 3rd)#but the only fucking things actually hiring around here are either jobs I'm incredibly not qualified for (nursing/trucking) or like. cashier#wich i HAVE been applying for even though i really don't want to#because i was a cashier for four and a half years#and while I'm not fond of being a floor/dept. associate i hate being at a register#(in large part because i can move around to mediate the pain while working the floor#but at a register i just have to grit my teeth and bare it)#this has turned into a vent / life updat now. I'm going to make coffee.#if you know like. online jobs someone with only a ged can do please send them my way#crow.txt
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I don't know... just the utter insanity of being like "I don't trust the government" only to put your full faith in the government cause you've decided that this punitive law is one you like and could totally never be used in an inappropriate way
Never trust the government man
Government needs to be forced to have full transparency and accountability and have a boot kept on it's neck at all times to make sure it's doing what we need it to... and we're not there yet, not even close. DOD can't even pass an audit man, and so many of the governmental systems as so clearly just kind of broken
So why on earth would you ever trust some new law to only be used in positive ways and not as a tool of suppression?
And part of it is about looking at laws, looking at what they say and do, looking at their scope. Like yeah, I'm pro right to repair laws because they mostly say companies can't stop me from fixing my own shit and need to make parts available (which they demonstrably don't do otherwise, which is the only reason I even want a law about it)
But like... there's a bit of a difference between the scope of a right to repair bill vs something on surveillance, or banning something like tiktok, or making it so police can arrest you for something new... never trust that stuff's going to be applied how they say it will, assume they've slipped massive overreach in the fine print, and assume that even if it's technically the most restrained bill that the feds might ignore that and use it as an excuse to trample all over your rights despite technically not being allowed to
Doesn't matter if the cop technically isn't supposed to arrest you for it, we see cases all the time where cops do shit they're not supposed to do and go after people not doing anything wrong
#'yeah; but you think that social welfare programs are good and that's government'#I think that they're needed to address problems and both individual action lacks the scale and also I'd like taxes to at least do something#but I also fully admit that they're ripe for abuse; but I'll be straight with you...#think the best way to minimize abuse with them is to do away with a lot of the 'you must be this poor to qualify'#cause attempting to enforce that is where I see (and have suffered) the most abuse#stop nickle and diming people on disability; if someone gets rich off $900 a month congratz to their savant ass#save money by not paying for nosy bureaucrats and just focus on if the person is disabled or not#like my uncle shouldn't be risking losing his disability insurance after getting injured on the job as a fire paramedic#just because he's doing 30 hours of teaching instead of 20#it shouldn't be contingent on people lying like lumps in poverty; it should be contingent on the fact he received a disability at work#(I don't know that that insurance is government; but point kind of still stands; and I kinda think it is)#but anyway... that's not what this is really about; this about seeing people cheer on laws where it's like...#you really should fucking know better than this; like you specifically should have more hate in your heart for the government#what are you doing trusting them here just cause this falls in line with what you like?#like not to be bold; but there's kind of a difference between a welfare program and a new law that says you can be locked up for something#and it's something broad and it's something that totally never has pointed the finger at innocent people on shaky evidence#and that's while other laws are simultaneously cropping up that make the definition even more nebulous#...listen... I'm kind of bouncing between talking about at least 2-3 laws minimum here without feeling like naming any outright#both cause I don't want discourse and because as always I'd rather talk in general terms and let people apply shit themselves#so some of what I say applies more to one law; some to another; if we were talking about any of these laws I'd point to specifics#but just for real; don't trust the government; limit it's punitive powers; demand transparency and accountability#sadly I don't think getting rid of it is a functional option for reasons ranging from#the fact I think it serves a purpose in being a bigger pot of money; cause like... imagine if roads were a private issue#it would be an even bigger shit show that it already is; some things require a big pot of money (though don't trust it; audit that shit)#second is gov and corps need to be pitted against each other because they're both too big to trust either#we demonstrably can't leave companies unregulated; like I was a pharm tech; I hate the FDA; think they're both bad and corrupt#but I also think you need to have something in place to make sure your food and meds are what they say they are#and it's better to reform the FDA then move towards total deregulation#finally; don't think you can get rid of the gov; think people always form govs once there's enough of us#anarchy is like communism; work ok sometimes so long as there's less than like 50 people
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