#to spite someone. but also for self destructive reasons. <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[cryolyst]

~

[l0vem41l]

mean when i'm nervous.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited as BAWLS, dc writer newbie but im very enthusiastic abt the comics and shows and movies, dog metaphor but insane and unsubtle, explicitly vigilante!reader in dick grayson’s part, dramatic asf but not really angst 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. bruce wayne, clark kent, richard "dick" grayson, and john constantine

author's note: so. we all know what my favourite thing right now is (⌒_⌒;) i still adore everything i used to write for,,, but i’ve been on my comic motives recently (*ﾟｰﾟ*) ! reading dc mostly but spider-noir and deadpool have been picked up along the way!!! um. anyways. if i get comfy enough, i might do more dc stuff but i get that this isn't my exact audience on this blog— sorry my loves (´＿｀。) </3 might write a part two cuz i love jason. and booster gold. and like every single one of them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) halfway through writing this i realized everything feels very literal, so i feel the need to mention that this is not dog hybrid reader stuff but if u fw that u can imagine it that way

perhaps the habit of burning bridges you’re actively crossing isn’t a good idea. and you’re not an idiot, not in the slightest— but even if you were, everyone knows that needless self destruction when developing relationships is counterproductive.

you strike the match anyways, like it’s just a force of habit. another instinct.

if you spent life knowing that the hand only beats. why would you expect it to do anything else when it’s lowered towards you?

you learn to keep your hopes down, ears alert, and teeth sharp. you learn to get used to the taste of blood. to make things messy and complicated, and to end things when they need to be ended, because god knows it’s only self preservation when you do it.

you learn that the only way to survive is to bite— to hurt before something hurts you.

and one day, an unfamiliar hand that extends towards you decides to feed instead.

why do you still bare your teeth?

▸ BRUCE is unsure why he sticks around. he’s understanding, but also reasonably frustrated with your antics. it doesn’t evade him that they stem from something deeply rooted in your past— but he doesn’t know what to do about it. if there is anything to do.

at his core, he's a detective. he's got an eye for digging into strange pasts and a knack for knowing things he isn't supposed to. but in spite of his paranoia and hunger to know, bruce doesn't pry too much. he can do research on his own, without you ever having to realize.

you’re self-sufficient, he’ll give you that. you’re unsure sometimes of whether he’s proud that you can take care of yourself or irritated that you consistently insist on doing so. he’s unsure too. not like he lets you know.

it’s a mutual understanding the two of you share— he stays, you bite. yet bruce, unsurprisingly, doesn’t mind being bitten. he’d hope that the reason he’s sticking around is for the selfless reason of making sure you’re alright. though, the reality is, you’ve grown on him, whether you realize or not.

bruce has always been fond of strays.

▸ CLARK is nothing but patient. and that scares you beyond reason.

he sees the way you bare your teeth whenever someone gets too close for comfort to you. he knows when to back away, when to speak, when not to— he’s always attempting to never make you feel backed into a corner.

somehow, it makes you more anxious seeing just how much he understands about you. he knows just how to coax you out of the corner of your cage, how to bring you in closer, and it almost, almost convinces you to let your guard down.

the thought of that is terrifying.

you try barking, you try biting— and none of it works. clark doesn’t coddle you when you’re wrong— but he’s absolutely nothing but gentle. patient and understanding, sometimes you wonder how a man of steel can be so soft for someone like you.

▸ DICK isn’t dumb. it’s fairly easy for him to put two and two together. quickly, he figures out what he’s dealing with when he encounters you.

his conversations with you are never without a note of levity— a deliberate action on his end, you’re certain. he knows, you know, and because of it, everything feels oddly tense around him, even with the attempts to banter.

it’s too late to run. his observant gaze has caught a glimpse of you through your one way glass, and he’s chosen to meet your eyes with a smile. there's a sense of foreboding that gnaws at your gut, anxiously anticipating what might be lurking under that grin of his.

on his end, there are no malicious intentions. he doesn’t really have ulterior motives when it comes to you.

most times, he chooses to defend you and be the one standing at your side when no one else does. you don't understand why he insists on offering you friendship when all you do is pull away.

after a long night of patrolling the streets of gotham, you find the two of you leaning on the railing of a rooftop side by side. your eyes are on this cityscape of gotham. his are on you.

“you keep on insisting i’m not as bad as i seem,” you mutter under your breath.

late nights make for loose lips. he’s pleasantly surprised to hear you continue the thought instead of attempting to take it back.

“do you just hate being right?” you snort, allowing your gaze to flit over to him just for a second.

"no." dick smiles, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “i think you just hate the fact that i could be.”

▸ you tried not to bother with CONSTANTINE. the day the two of you met, you didn’t even introduce yourself.

john constantine’s presence alone reeks of trouble, as acrid and suffocating as the cigarette smoke that clings to his tan trenchcoat. you are attuned to things like that. he notices.

one thing you actually enjoy about him? he doesn’t chase. he’s a nosy one, for certain, sticking his nose into places no one in their right mind would— but for the most part, he steers clear of yours. initially, you think it’s because your urge to be left alone by him is so prevalent that he’s just chosen to heed the warning and not approach when unwanted.

but he’s not a man known for abiding by rules. he’s much more curious with you than you notice or prefer. in a way, your distance has made you more myth than man, more tale than tangible— you are a rumor passed through whispers between lips, a silent shadow lurking in the corner of the room… and he loves a good mystery.

“c’mon. you're actin’ like ‘m gonna bite your head off, luv,” he chuckles, lighting up the cigarette between his fingers.

i'd probably be the one doing that if i got any closer. you keep that thought in your head, standing with a gap between the two of you as always.

he doesn't miss how you avoid looking into his eyes like his gaze could murder, instead, focusing your gaze on the cherry of the cig, burning bright red.

“not much for a wee natter, hm?”

the quick shake of your head only makes his smirk grow. you could just walk away… so why exactly were you sticking around?

“fine by me. quiet company’s welcome.” that’s a sentence he’d probably never say to anyone else. in a strange way, he feels like he knows you well enough to be comfortable with the words that hang in the air.

it’s weird. you’re completely unknown, and yet, an irrational part of his mind keeps nagging at him to look just a little closer at you. sometimes, when he listens to it, he catches a glimpse of something silent in your eyes— an all too familiar pain of a person who can’t help but hurt the things that they cling onto.

so that’s why you’re keen on keeping everyone at arms length. it almost makes him laugh to think how similar the two of you are, plain as day, and yet unnoticed by you— a person who won’t even meet his eyes.

— reblogs always appreciated!

[jakkon-and-rose-topic]

MASTER POST - Chronological Order :]

Here's my new master post!

[NEWS: THIS WRITING AND BLOG ARE OUTDATED AND NEED TO BE FIXED, BUT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO READ ANYWAY]

My main blog & Where the story has transitioned to is @the-ellia-west

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Characters

Ronan Calderis - A young male elf who wants to reinstate the true king on the throne because he hates the current Tyrant's guts and wants to say fuck you to Mangrove (he wants to find the true king out of spite basically) 17 in human years

Mangrove - A lower god of Stories, legends, chance, and lies who is a huge fan of gambling, pulling pranks, and switching or subverting fate. (Has a huge rivalry with Ronan for some reason) 18 in human years

Finn - A Harpy messenger who doesn't have a lot to do and wants to help anywhere he can. The default leader of the group. 31 in human years

Morena - An elven witch who is kind and formal to everyone, trying to help wherever she can with her magic and potions. She has a major crush on Finn. 30 in human years

Wildrun (Wild) - A Phantom, A Noble's son, who really dislikes his adoptive abusive family. He just wants to be free and alone. 17 in human years

Phenik - A Chimera Prince who was cast from his home for some fate thing he was never told about, so he became a wandering traveller on search of a purpose in his life. 17 in human years

Jakkon (Jak, Horns) - A Satyr and certified Whumpee who's been through hell and back and isn't done suffering. Needs hugs but won't take them. Very self-destructive. 31 in human years (not the MC but I'm obsessed with him)

Rosenia (Rose, Petals) - A Female Rose-themed Fae and Jak's sister-in-law. She's tired and stressed and wants to help make the world a better place. 29 in Human years.

Eveny (Evie, Ev) - Jak's wife. Female Lilac-themed Fae Who was 2 years younger than Rose. She was very adorable and sweet before she died.

Rune (Runie) - Eveny and Jak's son. He was about 3 or 4 in human years when he died and was a very sweet, innocent little baby.

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PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS

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Scenes (More to be added) - They're in Chronological order here, but a few of them have large time skips due to me not writing the scenes between them

(No longer Canon to the up-coming comic at this point in time)

Love - Jak and Eveny Just after their Wedding

Grief - Jak after Eveny's death

Gone - Jak and Rose at Eveny's Funeral

Injuryyyy - Jak's Return after TRAUMA

Forget - Jak's intro to Alchoholism After TRAUMA

Empty - Is Life worth living anymore?

History - This one takes place on a mundane evening before the inciting incident

- (Flashbacks stop here)

Arena - Jak and Rose's intro from someone else's POV

Morena - Jak talks to Morena after Rose left to Help Finn with Something

Phenik - Phenik joins the crew

Rivalry - Jak and Wild's Rivalry

Prank - Jak's first Good night of sleep in a while

Eynalis - The party

-[The Loss]

A Night out #1 - Half the Crew go into town

A Night out #2 - >:]]

Defense - Jak kills a guy

Gift - Rose & Jak Wholesome Moment

-[The Scene I'm still putting off]

Letting go - Jak Tells Rose To forget him

Argument - Tension

Anniversary - Jak and Eveny's Anniversary was also Eveny's Birthday

Immortality - The Story only ends when they're forgotten

(Other Stuff)

A Memory

What Used to Be

Rune's Fate

Eveny's Fate

Jak's Fate (?)

Fae and Nonhuman Details

How everybody met

Jak's Psychology #1

Jak's Psychology #2

Jak being a Dick Compilation

Surprisingly accurate Picrew

Description of Jak from Eveny's eyes

Dialogue Test Sheets

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Go follow @corinneglass @i-hate-happy-endings @fantasy-things-and-such @cybercelestian @pastellbg

@nkikio @darkandstormydolls @aalinaaaaaa @thelazywitchphotographer @ash1223456

[cluescorner]

Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:

Steph (25):

Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)

Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)

Her worst trait really is her spitefulness

Cass (26)

Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 

Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 

Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)

Tim (24)

Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)

Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)

His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)

Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)

Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 

Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)

His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)

Dick (17) 

Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)

Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)

His worst trait actually is his anger issues.

Barbara (18)

Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  

Thinks her worst trait is her disability 

Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)

Damian (16)

Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)

Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 

His worst trait actually is his perfectionism

Duke (16)

Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)

Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)

His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words

Jason (14)

Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 

Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)

His worst trait actually is his reactiveness

[brain-rot-central]

I just want to say I really loved how you wrote Tav and Astarion. Tav despite in a fragile position she is still determine to do stressful things for the sake of the safety of the people. For Astarion, I really liked that he is very morally conflicted which makes his past journey doesn’t feel wasted. And his obsessiveness is very intense.

Thank you!! Despite her being Durge, I do see Tavaria as being diplomatic. Perhaps she helped organize Ketheric's army during, or gave planning advice to Gortash. Who knows! But I do see her as being able to find common ground in most situations and essentially being the one to "do what's right," even if it's controversial or the more difficult decision. The fact that it's right is what matters.

Astarion, on the other hand...

Now that it's been almost 11 months post release, I have a few bones to pick with Astarion's endings. I will preface this by saying that I respect both endings and love and accept them (long time followers know how I push for tolerance of both and this is a welcome space for all), but I have to be honest.

I don't think the spawn ending would actually happen if you apply real world logic to someone like Astarion. He would pick ascension. I'm like 90% sure he would, especially if the game only spans 2-3 months.

Characters, and people, honestly, have an arc. Very rarely does the "rags to riches" trope ever pan out the way it does for the spawn ending. More often than not, people are down on their luck and often slip down further until they hit nothing.

Astarion ascending is him choosing himself and his fear of his independence being stripped away. When you're in a situation like that, that's all that matters to you. I speak from personal experience -- you literally do not give a shit if the world burns down around you. You may love and care for people, but you matter more.

Your ability to be safe and free from abuse in all forms matters most to you. Your ability to stop yourself from being taken advantage of in all situations matters most to you. Your ability to have control over almost every aspect of your life matters more to you than literally anything else. The alternative to any of that is akin to death itself.

It takes so much time to break out of that mindset. Once the hopelessness of a situation wears off, anger usually sets in. Resentment, spite, unrest -- sometimes at yourself for allowing a situation to go on for as long as you did. You're angry you didn't speak up and chose to let someone control you for so long, because it was the safer solution. You're angry you were forced into surviving a situation.

You feel ashamed of the person you were reduced to. Rather than meet them with kindness and grace, you spit on them, vowing to never allow yourself to sink to that level ever again. You will never let anyone put you there again.

But, that mindset is self-destructive in many ways. It chips into your personal relationships, because you're now fishing for any hint of someone trying to take advantage of you. You become paranoid, unreasonable. Prone to outbursts if things aren't going your way.

Inevitably, everyone leaves. And all you're left with is yourself, and your thoughts. You have no choice but to confront them, and apply logic and reasoning to them.

That's my logic when it comes to the ascension for Astarion. The ascension is his true "dark" arc, where he's fighting to save himself. It's not pretty, it doesn't make sense to everyone, but it works for him.

And Tav is there to help him, because she gets it. She's been through it herself, remembering all she's done and was likely forced to do. She understands how to put words to the raging inferno within him. But she also feels responsible for allowing him to slip down this path. She's a little further along on her own healing journey, and will try helping him anyway she can.

Love is the ultimate form of vulnerability, and they both struggle with expressing that. To love someone is to be vulnerable -- you accept the possibility that this person may rip your heart out and ground it into the pavement. You accept the possibility that this person will leave a permanent imprint on your heart, and hope to whatever higher being there is that it doesn't become a scar. Doesn't become something else you'll have to survive. To love someone is accepting that this person may forever change your life. And that's scary fucking shit.

Sorry for the impromptu character study on your ask, anon. I just really love their dynamic so much lmao

[toomanyfandomsthings]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

OOOO thank you so much for asking, I've never been asked that before! ✨️😃✨️ It's not a top 10 in any particular order (except for number 1, that one is number 1 😂), but mostly the characters who have impacted me a lot or have a special place in my heart right now. Also I'm terribly ineloquent, so please bear with my while I try to make sense -

1.) Aki Hayakawa (Chainsaw Man)

Oooooh my God, where do I start? XD This one was easy because Aki is like my favorite of favorite characters in anything 😁 Such a sweet, caring, protective figure who doesn't see himself as any of those things. He's such a heartbreakingly realistic portrayal of how someone can be self-destructive and I love seeing his dynamics with the cast start to change the way he views and values himself. I love how his instinct to be a big brother shows itself in small ways that don't get directly pointed out - to avoid manga spoilers, I'll point to the scene with Denji in the hospital where Aki makes him the apple bunnies - and just the little ways that he shows he cares for people. I think stuff with him later on in the story is some of the most well written and heartbreaking stuff I've ever read, and I genuinely think he's a wonderfully different take on the revenge plot line. I also have like...way too many figures of him...and plushies...and acrylic stands...and key chains.....and a snow globe I got from Hot Topic- I just love him a lot! 😂💕

2.) Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul)

I have a little less to say on this one because I haven't read Tokyo Ghoul in a long time so I'm a bit fuzzy on plot details. 😅 But I read Tokyo Ghoul in college at a time where I really needed it and saw a lot of myself in Kaneki. He's such a sweetheart and such a deeply lonely character, and the ways he changes over the course of the story, for better and for worse, are absolutely brilliant and tragic 🥲💕 And I love how, throughout all of these shifts in personality and role in the story, he still feels so distinctly Kaneki. Like, in spite of how cruel and difficult things get, the sweet, book-loving college student is still recognizably there. Kaneki Ken did nothing wrong 😂 Also I wrote a far more eloquent 35 page paper on Kaneki as my final thesis paper for college, soooo that speaks to my affection for him 😂

3.) Felix Hugo Fraldarius (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

There's gonna be a lot of Fire Emblem characters here, I'm so sorry XD But I love Felix so so much! He's a tough personality and admittedly can be incredibly harsh when it's not called for, but he's given so much reasoning as to why he has this attitude and it makes him such an engaging character to watch. He cares so much for everyone around him and just for the life of him cannot communicate that, nor does he want to admit it to himself for fear of losing them like he did his brother. He works so hard to be stronger than his brother so he can protect everyone, to the point where, definitely post-timeskip, he's long since reached that goal but still refuses to believe it. He's a caring soul who's taken on a lot at a young age and has suffered a lot more than he cares to acknowledge. He's also insanely smart (which he is never given credit for in-game which is a crime) and an absolute monster of a unit and is good at basically anything you try to teach him, so he's also just objectively cool 😂

4.) Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

Same as Felix, I love Dimitri so so so much 🥲 I think his character arc is so beautifully written (if you couldn't tell, I favor the Blue Lions quite a bit XD) and he's just such an absolute sweetie who's been through entirely too much. I love how protective he is of his loved ones and how the weight of all that he's been through wears on him in big and small ways (I think of little things like his lack of a sense of taste, which you only find out in his support with Flayn, which then recontextualizes little moments like Felix commenting on Dimitri acting like he dislikes the food at meal times and ahhh the character writing in 3H is so good). Also, I am partial to sweet characters becoming absolutely unhinged (see #2 😂) so I knew I'd like Dimitri almost immediately XD Didn't know he'd break my heart as much as he did though 😂

5.) Kaoru Sakurayashiki/Cherry Blossom (SK8 the Infinity)

Cherry is so great, what a truly insufferable person (affectionate) 😂 He's such a brat and I love his dynamic with Joe so much. They argue in the kind of way you only could with someone you've known your whole life, and they clearly love each other and always look out for one another. Also, the interviews with Utsumi which say that he's also anxious and a generally lonely person break my heart, and also inform why he's *always* at Joe's restaurant. He also clearly cares for the little skateboarder family they've made and i love that he takes on a sort of mentor/parental role for the kids. Also what an absolutely chaotic idea for a character - a formerly emo/punk, professional calligrapher who also designs robots and helped establish an illegal skating competition to which he attends in a ninja costume with his AI skateboard - I love him 😂💕 He's also got an amazing character design, like, I want to be him 😂

6.) Zelkov (Fire Emblem Engage)

ZELKOVV I love him so much, he is the character currently occupying my brain the most. 💕 Much of what I've said before, such a sweetheart. I love the way the portray his mental health struggles through his need to constantly have a pursuit or task or hobby to keep his mind occupied, and how it eventually resolves with him opening an orphanage (which is such a perfect resolution for his character 🥲) He's such a caretaker at heart, and I think it's so interesting how that is juxtaposed with his past as an assassin. Plus I think coming into a revenge plotline 10 years after the revenge has been had is just such an interesting take on it. I dunno I just love him so much I could go on for ages but I'll stop here...kinda

7.) Kagetsu (Fire Emblem Engage)

And I say kinda because Zelkov and Kagetsu are inseparable in my mind 😂 I love Kagestu, what an absolute cinnamon roll! 💕 Such a sweet, silly little friend! He's so eager to make friends, almost to a fault. I'd hazard a guess that after leaving his family, not knowing if he could ever go back or if they'd even want him to come back, the eagerness to make friends is sort of a coping thing - trying to reaffirm that he's not alone and that there are people who like him. I love his dynamic with Zelkov and Ivy - he draws the two of them out of their shells and gives them the direct and clear love and affection they need, and in turn they reassure him that he is cared for and give him a place where he is truly content and happy 🥲 He's just a genuine ray of sunshine with more depth than you'd think at first glance.

8.) Yuki Soma (Fruits Basket)

Yet another character that I feel directly called out by 😂 I love him so much, I love that he's such a kind person but doesn't view himself as such because he way overthinks about the nature of what "being kind" is. I love his arc about learning how to better yourself little by little and taking small steps to change; I really find it so inspiring 💕 His backstory episode ruined me for the rest of the day, I literally couldn't sleep that night after I watched it.

9.) Lukas (Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

This is my weird pick, but I still think about Lukas and the game came out when I was just starting college XD So kind and so caring, but still very pragmatic and reliable. I think his self reflection on how he feels he may be emotionally broken is so fascinating and relatable, and I love how his support with Python and his ending resolve it in a very satisfying way (I teared up when I saw his ending when I beat the game, though I also may have been going through something at the time XD) His big brother energy to Alm and the kids is also very endearing (especially him and Alm in the Drama CD oh my God) I'm not explaining it well, but I need to give this sweet depressed fellow a hug! 💕

10.) Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Ahhhh my son, my sweet boy who can't catch a break 🥲 So kind, so caring, so unable to see his own self worth 🥲 Like Aki, I like how the show points out his character flaw maybe once or twice, but it's showed off in dozens of more subtle ways if you pay close attention. I love how kind he is, how much he cares even though he struggles to display it, how he's got a self-admitted flawed sense of what justice is and how, like Kaneki and Dimitri, he's also sliiiightly unhinged XD

Hugs, hugs for all of these characters 😂❤️ Also sorry, I kind of went off, iiiiii got excited 😂 I also left out a bunch of characters because I didn't want it all to be Fire Emblem characters 😂 Thank you so much for asking!!

[yurious-george]

what's going to happen in ultrakill act III?

i'm on the final fight in act 2 and musing on where the plot might go, despite not having finished the fight, Just Because

gabriel is going to die. he already has less than 24 hours to live and v1 killed v2 with no hesitation. as fun as it is there's no sign v1 would feel terribly strongly about gabriel other than 'damn. i'm sad he died now that i've killed him.' even if v1 spared him he is sooo doomed. we have to be realistic here

between mirage's whole... (gestures vaguely) and common sense logic, hell will run out of blood and v1 knows it, effectively putting them on a self-imposed suicide mission in its quest for survival. (is that why levels are called missions? dang.)

if act 1's title was about v1 (infinite hyperdeath) and act 2 was about gabriel (imperfect hatred) it seems most fitting act 3's title (godfist suicide) would be about both of them

i'm going to assume satan is down there and has a good chance of being the final boss. this will be important later

so, godfist suicide, huh. a suicide not only means killing one's self; it can also mean knowingly getting into a fight or mission where someone will almost certainly die. this will also be an important distinction for speculation reasons

'go down fighting, even if it won't change the outcome' is a major theme of this game, so i doubt gabriel will just die to v1 or skewer himself out of spite. like he would not do that

i expect an over the top all out bloodbath for the final challenge, that's what this game is all about and i can't imagine it ending any other way

so, assuming satan is down there, there are three options for the boss order:

a. Gabriel -> Satan b. Satan -> Gabriel c. secret 3rd option??

these also really decide the tone of the game. if it's gabriel first and then satan, v1 will just have to sit there and watch itself slowly die, knowing it's possibly the only thing alive in the universe (aside from some of heaven I suppose?) If it's satan first and then gabriel, it will probably be a mutually assured destruction, dying at each other's hands and all. secret third option gabriel will go "fuck it, let's team up and kill satan and/or all of heaven too" which makes the order matter less.

I don't know if any of these will seem more likely than the other once I finish the gabe heresy fight, but gabe get worse arc would be really something. I want to see him stoop to v1's level <3

[sebastianravkin]

October book recommendations

As All Hallow's Read approaches, here are some spooky book recommendations that I have enjoyed from around the web:

1. Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier (1938)

Daphne du Maurier's ghost-less ghost story about a haunted marriage is on everyone's best scary books list for a reason: Rebecca is utterly chilling. In every scene the unnamed narrator is in the dark, surrounded by fog, or being startled by someone sneaking up on her (in the foggy dark). The literal and psychological miasma grows thicker and thicker as the second Mrs. de Winter explains how she was nearly driven insane at Manderley, her husband's estate where his first wife died under mysterious circumstances.

2. Silver: My Own Tale as Written by Me With a Goodly Amount of Murder, by Edward Chupack (2008)

Edward Chupack started with Long John Silver, the dastardly pirate of Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, and spun this rollicking story of terror on the high seas. Silver is deliciously creepy, full of adventure, loads of murder, and an elaborate, well-crafted mystery. Silver the pirate makes no apologies for the lives he ruins on his quest for treasure, and by the end, you'll fear and respect him as much as his crew does. Well, some of his crew.

3. The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman with illustrations by Dave McKean (2008)

Nobody Owens is a perfectly normal boy. Well, he would be perfectly normal if he didn't live in a graveyard, being raised and educated by ghosts, with a solitary guardian who belongs to neither the world of the living nor the world of the dead. There are dangers and adventures for Nobody in the graveyard: the strange and terrible menace of the Sleer; a gravestone entrance to a desert that leads to the city of ghouls; friendship with a witch, and so much more. But it is in the land of the living that real danger lurks, for it is there that the man Jack lives and he has already killed Nobody's family.

4. Grotesque, by Natsuo Kirino, translated by Rebecca Copeland (2007)

Sometimes the worst part of a story isn't its graphic violence but its characters' reactions to it. In Grotesque, prolific Japanese crime writer Natsuo Kirino gets the murders and the mystery out of the way, instead ceding the story to the unnamed female narrator who has connections to the two sex worker victims. The narrator talks about the two dead women from her own, twisted perspective — she hated them; she hated all their classmates at their elite private school; she hated her parents. The power of the narrator's spite, her utter disdain for everyone and everything, is so compelling you might find yourself agreeing with her, and then immediately recoiling in horror at how seductive hatred can be.

5. Zone One, by Colson Whitehead (2011)

With the many iterations of The Walking Dead, Zombieland, Resident Evil, Shawn of the Dead, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies — what more is there to say about humanity's apparently imminent self-destruction? In Colson Whitehead's skilled hands, however, the end of the world is just the beginning. Zone One is as scary and horrible and creepy as you'd expect from a story about a man calling himself Mark Spitz who's just trying to stay alive. It's also quite moving. Whitehead is particularly good at world-building; here, people cling to their last shreds of humanity as they try to reestablish civilization among the ruins of New York City.

[stellocchia]

Okay, now that I have a bit of time it’s time to analize that disaster of a custody battle stream, also known as Tommy and Wilbur visiting Las Nevadas!

As always this is gonna be quite long so I’ll put everything under the cut and remember that I’ll only be talking about the characters. Also for the dialogues the colors are: Quackity, Tommy and Wilbur

One thing that I would like to point out before we get into it is that c!Tommy is pretty much spiraling throughout this stream (he dissociates and shows his suicidal tendencies more clearly) so it’s good to keep this in mind when analizing his actions and words. 

First of all here’s Wilbur’s pov of it: Wilbur's POV

And here’s Tommy’s: Tommy's POV

I’ll be using both for this.

One thing that is immediately interesting to notice is that, despite supposedly living with Phil we mostly see Wilbur around L’Manhole.

“Have you been sewing? Knitting? That can be a dangerous sport if done too quickly” (just wanted to point out the tailor!Tommy bit)

So first of all is the confirmation that the stone never had a use beyond keeping Tommy occupied back when Wilbur asked for it. The task of gathering the stone could also have been a test on Wilbur’s part to test Tommy’s obedience considering that it was a tedious and apparently sensless task that most people would not have taken on.

Afterwards we have an interesting little bit where Wilbur demonstrates that he is still extremely knowledgable when it comes to tnt, knowing which blocks are more resistent to it and even being able to deduce that the ufo was blown up from the inside (something he’ll lie about later). 

“Someone’s a little copycat. Hey tommy someone’s a little copycat~” (in reference to what happened to Purpled’s ufo. This could be interpreted as derogatory we’ll have to see if Wilbur appreciates someone imitating his work)

Quackity’s book is then introduced, though at first Wilbur is very vague about it’s contents before straight up lying about them (saying that it said: “My dearest friend Wilbur, I’ve really missed seeing you, come to project Nevadas your best friend Quackity”), here’s the actual contents of it:

It is possible that he didn’t mention the actual content to Tommy because he was afraid Tommy would have kept him from meeting Quackity if he knew that he seemingly agreed with Wilbur’s ideology, though this is just a theory. 

Another interesting thing is that Wilbur keeps referring to Ghostbur’s resurrection site as his “tombstone” despite Tommy having already told him last time that he didn’t get one. Perhaps this is a show of Wilbur’s own fear of being forgotten or of having been inconsequential to the bigger narrative (his continued search for the confirmation that he did have a big impact would seem to point to this).

“Will, I’m accustomed to people lying to me. Just tell me: will the book, whatever is in there, bring us more primes?” (this is an interesting way for Tommy to let Wilbur know that he knows he’s lying while still trying to keep the conversation more light herted)

On their way to Las Nevadas there is an interesting instance of Wilbur standing still near a creeper instead of trying to protect himself so that Tommy has to intervene (similar instances happen multiple times throughout the stream) which could be a portrayal of his self-destructive tendencies and kinda mirrors Tommy's behaviour in exile. 

“Every person we’ve spoken to aside from say, I don’t know, Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too, and you actually! Come to think of it the 3 people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you and Phil, have been the nicest to me”

There are a few things I wanna say here: first of all there is one manipulation tactic that consists of making yourself out to be the victim in a certain situation in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion in the other and that’s what Wilbur has been doing both in this stream and in the past when mentioning that people hate him despite every single person he met (aside from Tommy himself) actually being rather kind and accomodating. This does probably come from Wilbur’s own self-hatred and his view of himself as a villain but, once again, I would like to remind you that manipulation is still manipulation even if you believe in what you’re saying. 

The second point I wanted to talk about briefly was the line about only caring about the 3 people he mentioned. Aside from how truthful he is about all 3 of them (I’m sorry but I have a hard time believing that he cares deeply for Jack Manifold when he didn’t even used to remember who he was) he also later mentions that there are other people he would like to see, basically it’s like the L’Manburg situation: just because Wilbur says he doesn’t care about something it doesn’t mean that it’s true.

“They told me it was like a small little town where Big Q sells funny potions and liquids from his van” (so from Tommy’s understanding Las Nevadas was a mix between the drug van and og L’Manburg. I wonder if we’ll find out who gave him this idea)

Little note about Wilbur throwing Linda (Tommy’s prized shovel) away twice during this stream almost casually.

“Tommy stand back. Tommy stand back” (Wilbur interposing himself between Tommy and a situation that might be dangerous, I’ll talk about this a bit later but keep it in mind)

“I’ll tell you what: it’s nice to see you out of that stupid vice president shirt. You know I never thought you were fit for that vice president thing anyway, I think that this is- this is- what- what are you like the concierge of this area? Like the cleaner?” “This is so nice!” “I don’t know what to call it Wilbur all I know is that this is my place. This is mine. I own this place”

It is interesting to note that Wilbur apparently did not think too highly of Quackity, immediately assuming he must be and employee rather then having a leading position, he even expresses that he didn’t think Quackity was fit to even be vice president. It’s also interesting to point out that Tommy gets immediately uncomfortable with where the conversation is going and splits off from the two to explore while also being extra obnoxious in an attempt to split up the fight he knew to be coming (he is always rather perceptive), to which Quackity responds only with amusement (actually humouring Tommy), while Wilbur simply ignores it for the time being. 

“If I’d known there was a place I could align myself to as quickly as this I would have done it sooner” (could be both a search for community as well as him generally prefering being aligned to a country as he comments later on that he’s not a fan of anarchy by mentioning that him and Phil don’t see eye to eye on this)

This is when Wilbur brings up Quackity’s book for the second time mentioning that he assumed it was an invite to joing Quackity in Las Nevadas, which turns out it wasn’t. 

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you I assume, I- I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in” “Big Q I also wanted... can I move into the big- the big penis?” “*laugh* No Tommy. Wilbur, Wilbur” “Yeah?” “No? No?” “That was... that was not an invitation I’m sorry Wilbur” *Wilbur checks the book again* “That’s not an invitation. Wilbur, Wilbur, my nation will not be subject to your... unpredictability, alright? Thank you so much for coming, thank you so much for visiting Wilbur but, uhm... I don’t need any- I don’t need any extra members right now” 

So taking this conversation a bit at a time: Quackity is the first person since Wilbur has come back (aside from Tommy, but Tommy’s opinion really doesn’t matter to Wilbur) who hasn’t tried to accomodate him. He set his own rules and stuck by them not willing to budge on it at all. Also it is interesting to note that Quackity so far doesn’t seem to be interested in letting Tommy join either, only changing his demeanour later after Tommy calls Wilbur out on his lying. This change of mind could both be tied to a crack he noticed in Tommy’s loyalty to Wilbur as well as done to spite Wilbur himself. Or both really. 

“[Las Nevadas] It’s like one of those visions you have after being in the mines for several hours” (Tommy mentioning having hallucinations once again)

“No... no, you’ve got it all wrong. You’ve got it all wrong man. Okay okay, maybe, maybe I was unprdictable in the past” “But it’s really nice...” “But I’ve turned over a new leaf Quackity! I don’t lie anymore, I don’t- I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I know nothing about tnt anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about tnt, it’s ridiculous I-” “*snicker* Ok- mmm, well... Will, well” “Is he lying Tommy?”

Also here we have a clearer example of Wilbur lying and deceiving right after asserting that he doesn’t do it anymore (he deceived Tommy on the book and lied about his knowledge on tnt) together with Tommy calling him out on it.

“This is the best place on the server! This is like heaven! Paradise!” “Quackity we can stay, right?” “You seem to like it a lot Tommy” 

Immediately afterwards there’s where Quackity seems to change his mind about letting Tommy stay while also ignoring Wilbur in the process. Again we really don’t have any definitive indication for the reason why he changes his mind, it could be because he saw how much Tommy liked it here as much as it could be to spite Wilbur. Any conclusion for either is pure speculation.

“Quackity look at me, look at me in the eyes. I. Am. Your. Servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership! I can- I can be, you know, assistent to president”

Another less known form of manipulation. Wilbur wants power within this new country so he offers to cover a more “subservient” position to have Quackity let his guard down so that he can achieve his role. 

“Will this is so cool!” “Tommy SHUT UP!” “Hey! What a fu- hey what a fuck?!” (a bit of Wilbur’s “affable” persona slipping away paired up with Tommy immediately noticing that that was not okay and calling Wilbur out on it)

“Wilbur listen to me: I saw what you did to L’Manburg and I’m not letting Las Nevadas have the same fate as L’Manburg. I appreciate Tommy here, I appreciate you checking this place out Wilbur but, I don’t need your services, I don’t need your presence, you’re very unpredictable” (Quackity once more standing his ground and repeating that he does not trust Wilbur in the slightest and also reaffirming that he does want Tommy there instead)

It’s interesting to notice that all throughout this exchange, while Tommy was off exploring Quackity was the one often paying attention to him while Wilbur ignored him the whole time before snapping.

“So we’re not allowed?” “Tommy, I need to talk to you Tommy” “Am I allowed? Or is it just Will?” “Well, I’d love to discuss it with you” (Quackity is the first person that actually directly addressed Tommy while ignoring Wilbur since Wilbur’s resurrection and that’s quite interesting. It could be that perhaps he noticed that Wilbur seems to consider Tommy almost like an extension of himself and that he tried to drive a wedge into that)

The next few minutes are spent with Wilbur trying to find out exactly where the confines of Las Nevadas are.

“Tommy come with me. Tommy at my side please” (addressing him like a soldier again)

There is a back and forth between Wilbur and Quackity where Quackity tries to deflect Wilbur’s question about his ownership of the adiacent forest multiple times, but Wilbur does end up finding out that it’s not Quackity’s land. (Wilbur also has a throwaway comment about that forest being Paradise in response to Tommy calling Las Nevadas that which Tommy disagrees on).

“What’s the point in capitalism without healthy competition?” (Wilbur announcing he wants to create a country next to Quackity’s)

“Wait, where are you going?” “Just over here Tommy. Stay by my side, by my side” (once again an emphasis on wanting Tommy nearby, which isn’t new)

“You know what Wilbur? You’re right: capitalism strives on competition and I’m ready for all the competition you can bring me” (Wilbur is positively giddy at this declaration, which makes me think that he does truly see this competition mostly as a game)

“Will I don’t want to start a country, I very much like that country there” *Tommy points at Las Nevadas* “With the stone-” “Tommy we- we’ll discuss this in a minute” “No...” “No no no, Tommy seems to have some concerns about building a country from the ground up” (Tommy under) “Listen, listen, guys, guys, I was over there” (Quackity over) “So how about you take Tommy’s opinion into consideration? For once, for once in your life since you’ve never done so before” (Tommy under) “Can we please listen to me? You [Quackity] are not lis- you’re not lis- you’re actually speaking over me”

This is the first one of many conversations this stream where the fight has moved from the power pissing context Wilbur and Quackity had going on to Tommy. It’s also where they starting weaponizing him more and more (his traumas as well as the other’s treatment of him) while each trying to prove that they’re better for him then the other. Of course this isn’t actually about Tommy, it’s about power once again. Quackity has undeniably noticed by now how Wilbur treats Tommy (aka as an extension of himself) together with being pissed that Wilbur challenged him on his own territory (challenging Las Nevadas which is Quackity’s most prized possession) so he decided to repay him in kind. 

From here on out Tommy seems to spiral more, standing up for himself less, looking more and more uncomfortable (especially when the other two start bringing up his traumatic experiences) and slipping back into dissociation and self-loathing behaviour.

“You showed great interest for my country Tommy and I would like to speak to you about that” “Yes” “Wilbur I don’t think you’ll hold Tommy down and make him join your country” “I have utter fate that Tommy will make the right decision” (both of them starting to put pressure on him, subtly influencing him with their wording) 

Tommy and Quackity have a chat together alone (though Wilbur is listening in). 

First thing that happens is Quackity bringing up the hotel which Wilbur implies later was done maliciously, though we don’t know if Quackity knew that the ownership of it didn’t go back to Tommy once he came back to life.

Afterwards Tommy asks Quackity about his scar. 

“If I’m gonna speak to you I want you to be honest with me, ‘cause I’ve spent quite a lot of time with people who just bullshit me, they lie to me and I’m not doing that anymore” (this is one of Tommy’s 2 priorities in life right now. What he wants can be boiled down to honesty and safety)

Quackity does explain honestly what happened, though the information that they spent their time hunting down Techno while Tommy was in exile instead of trying to help him does understandably upset Tommy quite a bit. (Also Wilbur finally makes himself a sword).

“But if this [butcher army] was while I was in exile you’re meaning to tell me that you put in all of the effort to kill Techno instead of helping me?” (...) “You know I needed help and no one came to see me” (this set back his mentality regarding exile quite a bit I’d guess. The anger is more then understandable)

Quackity doesn’t deny the accusations but he does deflect a bit saying that they can talk about it another time and that he is not Tommy’s enemy to which Tommy agrees.

“How would you like to run the official food business of Las Nevadas” (this is Quackity’s big offer for Tommy)

(Wilbur putting pressure on Tommy in the meantime)

After this Wilbur intervenes directly inquiring on wether or not they were done. Quackity tries to get in a last minute sale pitch to Tommy who is getting quite overwhelmed and asks for some time to think (which he is now given by Quackity, but not later by Wilbur)

Wilbur also expresses worry for Tommy’s safety while they’re coming back, though how sincere it is it’s unknown (I think it's at least partially sincere worry, but I doubt that's all there is to it). That said I want to say that multiple times in this stream Wilbur has seemingly shown to be protective of Tommy when it comes to Quackity, often almost treating him as if he was incapable of defending himself (as if he couldn’t 1v2 the two of them easily). For example here, even though Tommy said that he can take care of himself Wilbur immediately responds out loud with an: “okay I’m coming” and bringing out his sword.

“Listen Tommy I heard what he was saying to you man and you don’t seriously believe that do you?” (keeping the question very open so that Tommy can interject his own doubts. Also Quackity technically didn’t lie once to Tommy and, while there was a bit of deflection on his part so far he hasn’t been all that manipulative if I’m being honest)

Wilbur proceeds to tell Tommy that if he stays with Quackity he’ll be nothing more then a caterer (strongly implying that that’s not something he wants) and Tommy chimes in saying that that’s not for him.

“Listen Tommy I’m not gonna stop you but, I’ll be honest with you man, you’re all I’ve got” (set up for the guilt tripping later as well as once again putting himself in the position of the victim so that Tommy won’t leave him. Also he denies that Jack and Phil count as well because the first is too busy and he doesn’t agree with the political views of the latter)

“I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy it’s been so long since we felt safe and man you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much, Tommy you’ve changed the world! And all you’ve got to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy you deserve this safety and this sanctuary and that’s why I wanna make it with you and you won’t get it over there”

Now this should sound familiar to quite a few people, mostly because it’s pretty similar to the tactic that Quackity himself uses. First identify the victim’s vulnerabilities and their desires (Tommy only wants 2 things and only one is connected to physical places so safety it is). Second relate to the victims experiences repeating that they do deserve to get what they so desperately want (check back Quackity’s conversation with Fundy if you want to see that done really well). And lastly emphasise that you’re the only one who can give them what they want.

“You know what has substance Tommy? Family. Blood” (what sparked back the canon sbi discourse)

“I haven’t- I don’t wanna make my mind now ‘cause it’s- it feels like-” “Tommy you need to make your mind now” (putting a ton of pressure onto Tommy, enough that Tommy is reminded of his time in prison)

“Tommy I love a challenge” (considering the context and the fact that this is in response to Tommy hesitating on who to join this is most definitely about him. Wilbur definitely still considers this, at least partially, part of his and Quackity’s game)

“If you pick Las Nevadas what am I gonna do? Man, what am I gonna do? I’d never hurt you. I’d never want anything bad for you Tommy” (mixing in a bit of guilt tripping with a bit of lies. Now, it’s probably not a lie that he wouldn’t want something bad for Tommy, but the thing about never hurting him? I mean, this stream is a proof of the cotrary)

“You can go with whatever you want, but just know what you’d do to me” (once again painting himself as the victim while guilt tripping Tommy)

“I put a lot of things to the side that I shouldn’t of. I prioritized the wrong things, I put revenge over humanity. I guess all I’m seeking right now is someone who’ll be honest with me and a place where I can feel safe”

Here it is, we got Tommy’s desire spelled out by him. This is what makes him so vulnerable to Wilbur’s manipulation, the fact that Wilbur knows how to pretend that he can offer this. Also the first part of this is another recognition of how unhealthy his mindset was while he was with Technoblade, which makes him saying that he betrayed Techno and feels guilty about that afterwards even more sad because he recognizes that being with Techno was not good for him but still bashes himself over leaving him even if he really didn’t have any other choice if he wanted to stay true to himself. It’s quite tragic and it’s once more a show of his self-loathing. 

“This can be a safe place for them [Techno and Tubbo]” (Wilbur is using the informations Tommy provided him in a moment of open vulnerability to manipulate him further)

Tommy then agrees to stay with Wilbur though he seems far from enthusiastic about it. He seems to believe Wilbur when he says he's gonna make a safe space for him and the people he cares about, but also seems hesitant to fully trust him.

“Big Q is gonna wish he never fucked with me” (still in regard to challenging Wilbur’s perceived ownership of Tommy)

The stream is far from over though. After that conversation between Wilbur and Tommy they start to build a stone penis over the lake and Wilbur and Quackity get in a very heated argument that leaves Tommy incredibly uncomfortable. The whole conversation consists in Wilbur and Quackity shouting at each other about things the other has done to Tommy (all traumatic for him) while Tommy makes himself smaller and shuts down. First Qauckity accuses Wilbur of emotionally manipulating Tommy (which is true), then Wilbur accuses Quackity of using the hotel against Tommy (which wasn’t actually true) and they keep going like that. 

“The one thing [the hotel] Tommy’s tried to do was a failure” (way to undermine achievements like putting Dream behind bars there... however to be exact this is a manipulation tactic known as “shaming” which consists in undermining the victim’s worth to foster feelings of inadequacy which makes them more vulnerable. It’s a tactic Wilbur has used quite often since Pogtopia)

“Great job Wilbur of doing to Tomminnit what you’ve done your entire fucking life” (Quackity does sound actually upset) 

“Don’t try to compare me to you Wilbur, me and you are not the same” (this does align to Quackity’s desire to not live in other people shadows any longer)

“Hey hey hey hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy” “Will, Will, hey hey, let me speak! This is about me so let me speak! I don’t know I-” “I just don’t want him to hurt you. I just don’t want him to hurt you” “I can fend for myself. You weren’t here for a long time. I thought, I thought you [Wilbur] were gonna make me feel a little bit safer, let me tell you now either of you-” “Fellas fellas” “No shut the fuck up! I didn’t feel- that didn’t make me feel- that was weird, I didn’t- don’t do that either of you” 

Now this is both Wilbur once again babying Tommy and treating him as if he’s not capable of taking care of himself (it could be done out of sincere care, but that doesn’t make it any less patronizing) and Tommy actually standing up for himself. Tommy made himself as little as possible during their confrontation and didn’t utter a word and now he finally got a bit of confidence back to say that he didn’t like that and both of them still tried to interrupt him. And Wilbur immediately went to say that he won’t do it again, but Quackity will as if he didn’t listen to a word Tommy just said. That said after that Quackity does apologize to Tommy specifically (though how sincere that was is debatable and Wilbur also accepts the apology as well even if it wasn’t directed at him) and invites the both of them to have a tour of Las Nevadas. Tommy wanted to refuse the tour because he was already visibly overwhelmed, but Wilbur ignores him and proceeds to accept anyway. 

“Quackity I wanna say from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here man I- we gotta leave Tommy out of this” (they don’t)

“Tommy I’ll take it back, I’m fine with you working here and still being, you know, as long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own I have no problems with you working here man” (except they both already put an incredible amount of pressure on him and Will in partucular already made him feel guilty for even considering sort of leaving him)

“At the end of the day it’s okay Tommy, you make your own decisions, but let me keep showing you around the TommyInnit res- uh, I mean the restourant” (very sneaky there Quackity. Naming things creates attachment btw) 

Btw, Quackity and Wilbur are still very tense, but they both put their differences aside in a split second to get Tommy away from the strip club, which honestly is just funny. Also once again Wilbur goes before Tommy inside the casino in case it’s dangerous.

They then gamble for a bit and Tommy bets Linda away and looses it. They then go up in the white tower. 

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it. Woah” “no no no Tommy get down!” “Tommy get down from the rail” (casual reminder that Tommy is still extremely suicidal, though at least this time there was someone there to get him down)

Quackity and Wilbur have a small conversation while Tommy is still checking out the view which mostly consist in Quackity trying to find out more about the Revival Book (while feigning complete ignorance about it). 

Meanwhile while dissociating Tommy puts down some water to the side of the tower and then jumps in it while taking it away (therefore technically jumipng off, but not dying because his fall was slowed down). Quackity notices and immediately panics, while Wilbur places some water down for him so he can get back up. 

“Tommy come here, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you” (both helping and emphasizing his wish for Tommy to depend on him as much as he does on Tommy)

After that they talk for a while and Quackity brings up the conversation that he had with Wilbur which is the moment Wilbur realizes that the “You were right” in the book was referring to the pre-Pogtopia him. Also Wilbur talks about the things he’s lost (years of his life and people are the two things he mentioned). 

“There’s lots of people I wish I could see. Like I wish I could just tell them ‘I’m alive’ and apologize and also thank them” (I do think he’s sincere, but it does make me a bit sad that Tommy was not in the list of people who deserved an apology in Wilbur’s mind)

After that Quackity seems to take an interest in Wilbur’s plans specifically, but, before he can investigate further, Tommy gives him his own answer and declines his offer of manning the restaurant saying that that life is not for him, it’s too relaxed (Wilbur's reaction to it is also worth notice). 

“I don’t wanna run a food stand. Wilbur gets things done” (sorry to Tommy here, but, genuinely, when’s the last time Wilbur got something done without Dream’s or Tommy’s help?)

After this they get back on the topic of the Revive Book and Wilbur reveals that Dream is the one who brought him back. He also admits that he wants to thank Dream for saving him and describes him as his “hero” again. Quackity himself reveals that he has been visiting Dream.

“Oh who cares about Ghostbur?” “Don’t fucking say- don’t- he killed Ghostbur” (once again Tommy should not be here for this conversation considering how triggering the subject is for him)

“I can’t believe- you’re like a misinformed parent, you’re just wrong” (Tommy both pointing out that Wilbur is wrong and admitting that that’s due to a lack of information)

“The prison is not just this thing, this dandelion. No no no, the prison-” “How are you back then Tommy? If you died” “Dream killed me to prove a point. That he- (continues under) he’s omnipotent, he’s got this God complex” “Quackity I need to get in there”

Once again not letting Tommy speak even if Wilbur himself asked the question, though this time it may be because if he listened to Tommy’s story and his experience with Dream he would realize that there are some incongruences between the version of Dream he created in his mind and the real Dream. Between his hero and Tommy’s abuser who beat him to death to prove a point. This split in his mind in how he views Dream was already evident in the last stream with him fip flopping between wanting him dead or not. 

“Tommy, Tommy, I’m not gonna talk shit about them [Sam] without their presence here alright?” (Quackity being protective of his own business patners)

Also Tommy manages to deduce on his own what Quackity has been doing to Dream, though he gets to the conclusion with the wrong clues. Either way after finding out how to visit the prison Wilbur leaves in a hurry telling Tommy to go with him as well.

“I’m a big boy Tommy, I’m a big boy, I’ll be fine” “Wilbur I’m a big man, but I was not fine” (Tommy tries to explain Dream’s danger to Wilbur by making himself vulnerable again, but it doesn’t work as Wilbur doesn’t listen)

Afterwards Wilbur tells Tommy that he is going to the prison and ignores any of Tommy’s concerns on the matter.

“Tommy listen, I didn’t wanna spring things on you because I’m really trying not to be a shit person to you Tommy, right? I’m really really trying. And it’s easy, it’s easy not to be a shit person to you, right? Because we got people like Quackity over there who are just- you know he said it best I’m not gonna talk shit about him behind his back"

If he’s not trying to be a sh*t person to Tommy he is failing miserably. Truly this whole stream he either ignored him, talked over him, talked about incredibly triggering stuff in front of him or tried manipulating him. This was all their interactions summarized. Pettiness aside though, he still badmouths Quackity by handing Tommy the book and telling him that Quackity agreed with the “old Wilbur” (not specifying that he is referring to pre-Pogtopia Wilbur and that he himself still agrees with the “old him”) to villainize him. He also acts like Tommy is being unreasonable for not wanting him to go, despite having died there and having seen Ghostbur die there. Wilbur does say that he won’t go if Tommy really doesn’t want him to, but he leaves telling him they’ll talk about it again right after Tommy tells him this: 

“I don’t think you should do that, he’s more powerful then you think you are”

Left on his own Tommy reminisces of when he went to the prison looking for closure as well. He then borrows an ender chest from Quackity for his and Wilbur’s little stone shack and then goes to the middle of the lake to listen to cat. 

[randomfandomskillme]

DSMP Steven Universe AU made by me and my friend at 2 am

Based half on character gems and half on their canonical reasons for creation

WARNING: MADE AT 3 AM WHILE ZOOTED OUT OUR MINDS Eret: Blue Diamond

- royalty, calm, empathetic but self-preservative

Dream: White Diamond

- tyrranical, emotionless, all about power, manupulative

Technoblade: Yellow Diamond

- powerful, vengeful, warrior for war, logical

Foolish: Pink Diamond

- destroyer turned healer, powerful, caring towards others but can be scary when mad

Sapnap: Ruby

- chaotic, fiesty, fire, soldier

Quackity: Zircon

- lawyer moment, a thinker, political, a fighter through words

Karl: Sapphire

- time powers, comforter, trying to help people

Karlnapity: Sardonyx

- lol

George: Padparadscha

- never in the present, hindsight is 2020, sort of just there, made for support and fails. just a friendly dude

Captain Puffy: Blue Jasper

- strong willed, a fighter, mom energy, leader

Niki: Pearl

- soft but can learn how to fight, used to follow but takes her own path, helpful

Jack Manifold: Ruby

- tempermental, feisty, momentary villain arc, spiteful, was a also a soldier

Awesamdude: Bismuth

- epic builder, very strong, intimidating, stubborn

Ranboo: (Fusion defect) White Pearl - Black Nephrite (main state)

- defect makes two personalities, black nephrite is usually in control (people oriented, neutral but fights for their home) and white pearl is ranboo’s “enderwalk” (follows White diamond [dre], tactful, information gatherer)

Fundy: Peridot

- looking for companionship/attention/approval, can work with tech, a follower, knows how to fight but is nervous about confrontation

Tommy: Spinel

- annoying, chaotic, wants somewhere to belong, was alone/abandoned, goofy

Tubbo: Amethyst (defective)

- soldier turned hardened veteran, never had much power by himself, was given high expectations but couldnt meet them, loud

Jschlatt: Hessonite

- mean, angry, controlling, wants power 

Callahan: Earth Beetle

- silent, been in the background, support character

Ponk: Rose Quartz

- healer type, wholesome but manipulated, betrayed

Antfrost: Red Pearl

- a support character, follows orders, loyal

Skeppy: Lapis Lazuli

- mischievous, blue, chaotic, we know hes technically diamond already but shut up, follows his own agenda

Punz: Topaz 

- fighter, mercenary, works for other people

Wilbur: (half-corrupted) Sapphire

- logical, corruption led to distorted future sight of disaster that he felt compelled to make happen, wanted to create a better future for others

Purpled: Amethyst

- soldier, PURPLE, what else is there to say

Philza: emerald

- important presence, not much of a fighter but still intimidating

Connor: Zirconnor

- he’s just vibin man and its a pun idk what you want from us (also blue), chaotic messy version of a put together zircon, he was supposed to be put together but now hes just doing his best

Badboyhalo: Rose Quartz

- kind and sweet presence that gets corrupted

Hannah: Rose Quartz

-she has rose in the name was there any other option

HBomb: Spinel

- an entertainer/clown, funny, just messes around, a good guy :}

Michaelmcchill: Lapis Lazuli

- causes a lot of destruction, impulsive

Slimecicle: Green (altered??) spinel

- melts instead of stretches, also an entertainer/supporter/hype man, oblivious, naive, funny

*made by me and a friend

*anyone who is a guest on the smp or otherwise not listed are humans, if we missed someone important idc

*feel free to discuss in the comments but we will probably not change anything lol

[erosia-rhodes]

Speculation: The Big Bad of the Loki series is…

…someone I will reveal after the jump, because I’m not a total jerk, even if I'm only speculating and have no more knowledge than anyone else with a Disney Plus account, an intermediate understanding of storytelling techniques, and a God of mischief or two living inside my head rent free. So, here we go.

*cough, cough*

 The master villain of the Loki series is…

…Loki.

It’s an obvious choice, which could have been an argument against it at the start of the series, but after episode 5 he’s the only person who makes sense. The structure of this show is character driven above all else. The overarching question of the series has been, "What makes Loki a Loki?" We've been taking a deep dive into who Loki is, why he does the things he does, and why he's so unhappy. Thus, the big bad has to be a Loki variant because…

1) Loki's worst enemy is himself. Loki's the one holding himself back. Loki's the reason he's so unhappy. Loki's the one preventing himself from becoming a better person. And it will turn out he's been doing this literally, not just figuratively!

But our Loki is going to change because he's been forced to confront who he is in various ways, leading to growth: The memory theater showed him the consequences of his choices in the sacred timeline, the worst of which was getting his mother killed; Mobius analyzed him like a therapist and forced Loki to self-reflect until he eventually confessed his faults; Loki became friends with Mobius who believes Loki could be a better person and that “it’s never too late to change”; Loki's relationship with Sylvie led him to truly trust someone for the first time; it's also symbolic of letting go of his self-loathing; and most recently, Loki felt exasperated watching all the Lokis fight in the Void world, an indicator that he doesn't want to be like that anymore.

The final way Loki will be forced to confront himself will be literal. That's why he must be the secret head of the TVA, the Boss Loki. In order to truly change and grow as a character, he has to defeat the version of himself that is holding him back, the version that is pruning any variant that tries to end their self-sabotaging, destructive ways.

After that, he'll also have to reject the temptation of taking over the TVA himself. That will show he's truly changed as a person. After all, another reason Loki has to be the villain is because…

2) Loki already wanted to take over the TVA. When Loki saw that the TVA made the infinity stones nothing more than paperweights, he decided to overthrow the Timekeepers and take over, but he didn't know that another Loki variant had already beaten him to it. There probably was a trio of lizard people in charge of the TVA at one point, but a Loki variant killed them, took over, and became Boss Loki.

3) That's the reason the TVA has pruned more Loki's than any other person The biggest threat to Boss Loki is another variant of himself coming for the throne. The Boss Loki is getting rid of the other variants so none of them have a chance to overthrow him.

4) That's also why Loki and Sylvie created a nexus event If Loki and Sylvie let go of their self-loathing and become real friends who trust each other and work together, they'd be a huge threat to Boss Loki, which they proved by making it past the guard dog Alioth together. Has anyone else gotten that far before? That's why their connection on Lamentis created a nexus event. The Sacred Timeline is a timeline where Boss Loki stays in power, so any threats to that need to be pruned, even if they're happening during an apocalypse.

5) If the most-speculated villain, Kang, is the big bad, it would have no emotional payoff. I mean, episode five ended with an old man clad in a yellow diaper saving the day in a way that was truly cathartic and moving. If the writers are capable of creating an emotional moment like that, imagine how it will feel if we get to the final episode and the villain is…some dude most people have never heard of. This has no emotional resonance at all. That's why it's not Kang.

Most of my Marvel knowledge comes from the MCU and some animated shows from the 90′s, so I’d never heard of Kang until people online started talking about him in regards to the show. And even though he might have a larger part to play in the MCU, I don't think it's as the head of the TVA. If Kang is involved at all, he's just working with Boss Loki in some function and his presence won't be revealed until an end credits tease.

Bonus speculation) Sylvie's nexus event would have made her a Valkyrie Since I'm speculating, I also think Sylvie's nexus event was that fact that she chose to become a girl, which would have allowed her to become a badass Valkyrie sorceress. When we see her at the beginning of episode 4, she's playing with a Valkyrie toy, which means she admires them. It was also revealed in Thor: Ragnorak that Thor wanted to be a Valkyrie until he learned only girls were allowed to do that. It's easy to imagine Loki taunting his brother, telling Thor he would never be a Valkyrie because he's not a girl, but Loki could be one because he could become a girl. Then Loki might have become a Valkyrie just to spite his brother.

Also, Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner plays at the end of episode 5, but this seems to ramp up when Classic Loki is doing his thing, not when Sylvie is using her magic, so I don't know if that's a clue or not.

I guess we'll see if I'm right about any of this a week from now!

[crystalkleure]

I have a Concept.

BeyBurst beyblades are supposed to burst. As in, it’s actually a necessity. In spite of the Exploding Beyblade mechanic potentially causing sharp little bits of spintop to go flying everywhere and hit people, what if it’s actually a safety feature?

If I recall correctly, all the way back in s1 territory [specifically in the manga though, can’t remember if we saw it in the anime or not], Valt and Shu just straight-up got their original beys from a store. And there are also all of those Unimportant Characters running around with different-coloured versions of preexisting beys. This indicates that beyblades are, in fact, mass-produced and sold in stores, and those are all built to be able to burst. In fact, I still haven’t seen the newest two seasons of the Burst anime yet, but I’m pretty sure super special fancy custom beys, that some important character explicitly made themself, that have some really creative [and strong] anti-burst features built into them, don’t ever show up as NPC recolour beys? In spite of the trend of “random background characters in new season use recoloured versions of Prominent Character beys from LAST season” to me seeming to indicate that those new recolour beys are either bootleg copycats, or those actual official shelf models have just suddenly started selling really well, due to someone having just recently done something cool with one in a tournament/on TV lol. [Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong on which beys get NPC recolours, I don’t exactly actually, uh, pay attention to all the random background scrubs. That point’s not particularly important anyway because I’m sure unofficial bootlegs are a thing that exists, mmmm delicious plagiarism. The point is the stores seem to sell beys with the normal level of burstability. And so I’m only caring about the everyday random NPCs with no names or anything, if another important character specifically goes and painstakingly recreates a bey similar or identical to another important character’s bey just because they idolize that other character, that doesn’t count. That’s not important here, implication-wise.] So...

What if it’s actually a really bad thing that people keep making their own custom beys now that are increasingly more and more ludicrously difficult -- or even near-impossible -- to burst?

What if the self-destruct mechanic is intended to be an emergency shutdown switch, and actually really needs to not be subverted? We’ve seen what an adept beyblader can do while running at full-throttle -- they’re dangerous, to themselves and their surroundings. Beys have the power to be obscenely destructive...while they’re spinning and battling, primarily. They are by far the most potent while actively in use. But if they hit things too hard like 3-4 times or so...they burst. Their locks disengage, they fall apart, and thus they are forced to abruptly stop. That makes them theoretically incapable of just rampaging indefinitely.

Picture this: One day, in the probably-decently-distant history of the BeyBurst world, a kid has a spintop. Probably made that spintop themself. This kid, it turns out, happens to be one of the Super Special Powerful Kids, who’s not only REALLY GOOD at using that spintop, they also possess that funny little supernatural ability to accidentally create an incredibly powerful incorporeal monster ghost creature thing with their brain. And because they love playing with their little spintop so much, that spintop becomes the vessel for this Terrifying Monster-Shaped Culmination Of Spiritual Elemental Energy or whatever that they’ve manifested. That’s...good, probably, because at least that means the Scary Monster Thing isn’t 1. just stuck in the kid’s brain with nowhere else to go, which would lead to possession that would decidedly be incredibly difficult to deal with without harming the kid, or 2. funneled into something more dangerous to control, like a car or a nuclear warhead or some shit. But then it turns out that the kid is ABSOLUTELY still able to wreak impressive havoc and cause Large Amounts Of Destruction, even accidentally...until the spintop stops spinning. The Power Level drops dramatically as soon as the demon top is still, and it takes a little while for it to build back up once it’s launched again. But what if a feature is implemented into the spintop that allows it to keep spinning for much, much longer? Or just The Supernatural Monster Power itself becomes capable of sustaining it, through wind manipulation or something?

Now, imagine you’re idk, the government or something, someone with Power and Influence over the masses, and you see THAT happen. Shit, that was just a random kid that did that! Looked like any other kid, acted like any other kid! There is no feasible way to tell a kid with Brain Monster potential apart from other kids who are NOT That Powerful, until a brain monster happens. So, if you can’t predict it, and thus can’t do anything to mitigate the potential destruction on a case-by-case basis...well, how about you convince ALL the little kiddies that spintops are just the greatest thing ever, everyone should play with spintops, AND you ensure those spintops are mass-manufactured specifically to not be able to Hold A Charge for too long because...they burst! You’ve designed them so that violence itself causes them to fall apart and stop to cool down! It’s perfect! That way, anytime an odd mutant child with Brain Monster powers comes along, the chance of them funneling their Brain Monster into their spintop is now Very High, meaning that all the Brain Monsters will hopefully end up inhabiting these little plastic toys that actively inhibit them instead of possessing children or nukes. It’s brilliant!

This does raise some questions, though:

1. What happens when someone’s spintop breaks, and they DON’T get it repaired, after they’ve already manifested a Brain Monster to live in it? Where would the Brain Monster go in that case? Uh oh, demon on the loose? Exactly what we were trying to avoid? Shu’s change between Legend Spriggan and Spriggan Requiem in God does seem to indicate that the Brain Monster probably 1. by default, does just camp out in its blader’s brain until a new Spintop Vessel is created for it, and 2. the Brain Monster itself is probably not actually completely strictly sealed into any bey, because it doesn’t disappear as soon as the bey is destroyed, and it doesn’t stay with an old/broken bey that’s been discarded when a new bey has been made for it. Legend Spriggan was discarded and left on the riverbed, and Spriggan Requiem was then made from scratch, seemingly using no recycled physical parts from Legend Spriggan, but Spriggan Requiem’s bitbeast looks only very slightly different from Legend Spriggan’s. All of Shu’s Spriggans are honestly probably still the same creature, just progressively evolved. I don’t think we’ve ever seen somebody make an entirely NEW Brain Monster that does not resemble their original one, it seems the original simply gets developed more and more. One person apparently only possesses the ability to make a single individual Brain Monster. You Get One (1), but you can upgrade it. But what about Hearts? His Dead Hades, which very much had a Brain Ghost in it, was not only destroyed, but assimilated into Phi’s Revive Phoenix, to make Dead Phoenix. What happened to that situation, over time? We haven’t gotten to see. Is Hearts’ Hades truly actually fused with Phi’s Phoenix, ceasing to be its own entity anymore, or does Phoenix simply very slightly resemble Hades now due to its bey being upgraded with physical bits of Hades’ bey? What if it’s not even POSSIBLE to truly fuse Brain Ghosts, especially without consent? In which case...is Hades itself just lingering around back in Hearts’ brain, waiting for a new bey to inhabit, and Hearts isn’t making one because he doesn’t realize Hades isn’t just Part Of Phoenix now? That sounds potentially dangerous, there’s no more outlet for your Brain Ghost, buddy. I want to see Phi and Hearts again, to know what eventually happened there.

2. Why do the tournaments not actually enforce a rule that says “Your bey HAS to be able to be reasonably burstable”? Chouzetsu Wings and the Mugen Lock System did not equal disqualifications. Has it maybe, over time, been forgotten exactly WHY we Need Beys To Burst? Well, that’s a ticking time bomb, then. How difficult a bey is to burst does seem to directly cause its Potential Destructiveness Levels to scale accordingly. [With somewhat of an exception of Pot and his Pegasus, but it should be noted that Pot was not exactly terribly serious about beyblade initially and yet was STILL considered one of the strongest ‘bladers in the world, GT3 iirc, AND he’s very into the whole “Love and light, chillax, be in-tune with yourself and all the energy in and around you, etc.” peaceful thing.] This HAS To Be A Problem. Why is nobody concerned.

3. ...What is causing the general public not to panic about this? Why are people okay with Brain Ghost and Mass Spintop Destruction happening, instead of terrified? This shit is broadcast on TV. The stands during tournaments are packed with spectators. It may be that perhaps not everybody can SEE the Brain Ghosts themselves [and I’m skeptical about that, because there have absolutely been MANY indications that other people know what someone’s bitbeast looks like], but the Big Bada Booms they cause are DAMN sure Highly Visible. Aiga’s father seems to be the only one truly properly concerned about the incredible mass-destructive potential of the spintops. Realistically, The Salem With Trials 2: Electric Boogaloo should be happening due to the Scary Spintop Kids being Fucking Scary, and sometimes quite clearly even out-of-control of themselves.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure this is not a direction canon will ever go in, or I think it would have already done it. I don’t think they’re going to explore this route. It’s a shame I don’t have the chops for writing long-haul fanfiction, because if I did I would absolutely be hardcore capitalizing on this idea. This has incredible Worldbuilding Lore Potential.

[sunriseseance]

please,,, even if you dont answer this publicly i wanna know your In Depth Thoughts on fanon klaus and the issues w him bc i also have issues w fanon klaus but i cant put it in words

This got SO LONG, so I hope you meant it when you said you wanted in depth! Holy shit I sorta lost my mind on this.

In my early days as a bear-poker in this fandom, I described fanon!Klaus as that person who gets resurrected in a horror movie and comes back different. As an audience member, I can tell he's wrong, but nobody interacting with him directly seems to know this. I've also talked a little bit about Klaus and intelligence before, which plays into any discussion about fanon!Klaus, but I'll be more specific here. Before I get started, I wanna say that fandom is a fun space and I don't think anyone is *bad* for creating/enjoying fanon!Klaus, especially not for the third reason I lay out. I just think he's awful, and has some harmful roots that I doubt the people writing him even know about on a conscious level.

Okay, let's get into this. Because I'm me and Wittgenstein's early work that he later disagreed with has changed my entire way of interacting with the world, I'm gonna define my terms. Let's talk about what fanon!Klaus is LIKE before we talk about why I REALLY DON'T LIKE HIM. Fanon!Klaus is a happy, stupid, sweet, childish, bubbly, luminous free spirit. He wears bubblegum pink skirts and he cries when Diego eats his cookies. He doesn't know what numbers are, he can't count, he can't walk and chew gum, he thinks that Africa is a country, he forgets that homophobia exists, he doesn't know that drugs are bad for him, the list goes on (These are all real examples. Can you tell what part of fanon annoys me the most?). He cries at the drop of a hat, and doesn't understand his place in the family. He'd move heaven and earth to help the people around him, and he'd never be mean to anyone but Luther (and even then just barely) He constantly needs attention, supervision, etc. He makes jokes about modern memes and listens exclusively to pop music. He's really damaged but it's only because nobody Took Care Of Him and he needs someone to Rescue Him.

Canon Klaus is mean, and quick, and sharp, and miserable, and hiding, and funny because you're laughing WITH him, and an old soul, and a goth, and chronically apathetic, and selfish, and so fucking smart, and acutely aware of just how much he matters to other people. He makes rape jokes, he figures out how to get info on the eye while high out of his mind, he speaks like 10 languages, he listens to Nina Simone, he uses people's inherent fear of the dead to buy himself time, he finds the perfect story within the dead to cause a rift, he tells Luther TO HIS FACE that he doesn't care if the world ends. Klaus is a fascinating study in queer trauma, and robbing him of these traits is a complete disservice to yourself AND the character.

I say this often about fanon!Klaus, but WHO IS THIS??? Like…. Okay, if I gave you this list and you didn't know it was about Klaus, would you think it was? I think he's literally unrecognizable. He's not any of the things I know or love about Klaus. He's nobody to me, except a nuisance wearing the same skin suit and clogging the tags. He is also, weirdly, the most popular character in the entire fandom. I wanna think about why, and I have 3 theories that I think can all be true separately or simultaneously instance to instance.

First, fanon!Klaus exists because of internalized homophobia, classism, and anti-addict rhetoric. I think that on some level people don't believe addicts, feminine queer men, or homeless people are capable of intelligence. I think people see Klaus's canonical positive traits and they sort of throw them out the window because they don't make sense with their world view. A queer addict is a helpless tragedy, and he's someone that needs rescuing by Kind Strong Dave. A queer addict can't be smart, because then he wouldn't be an addict. A queer addict can't be wily, or interesting, because then he wouldn't be an addict. Fandom sees a feminine queer mlm and knows he should be in a sparkly bubblegum pink skirt, and saying "dahling" or "wig" or whatever else all the time. They know he should be bashful and submissive and always falling into the arms of Kind Strong Dave who protects him from Evil. They also know he should really, really like Britney Spears, and not give a shit about Nina Simone.

Second, fanon!Klaus exists because people want to excuse negative behavior in their favorite characters. Klaus is selfish and mean and apathetic. He just is. These are flaws that haunt him, and define a lot of his interactions. These are, also, pretty tough flaws to excuse (which… Hey…. I have a solution for that). I think that fanon Klaus, who just doesn't GET that he's being mean, and is too stupid not to become an addict (I don't think addiction is a flaw, but I do think that addiction plays into this), and is too out of touch and childish to understand that he shouldn't just fucking leave, comes from a place of wanting Klaus to be a good person who does good things. I'm sorry, but he isn't. Not always. I think the impulse to make him constantly sweet and constantly stupid comes from wanting Klaus's actions to be fundamentally excusable. He can't help it! He's just too much of a useless twink to know that it's bad to lie! (also, side note, fanon!Ben comes from this side of fanon!Klaus. In canon, Klaus is self destructing on purpose and Ben's presence helps…. Maybe, possibly, twice. In fanon, Klaus is just stupid and he needs a babysitter and that is Ben, the motiveless, endlessly loving but Exhausted braincell holder. This is fucked up on many levels. Ben is an asshole, and we all need to get used to that idea quick).

The third and final reason is that fanon!Klaus is… More fun, in the traditional sense of the word. Fanon!Klaus seems like he comes from a very emotional romcom or sitcom or something. He's like a barbie. He's fun to play dress-up with. He's fun to make incorrect quotes about. He's fun to write about, especially when it's about his siblings herding him or coddling him. Good ol' useless, loveable Klaus. I think this is partially because Klaus is a pretty fucking heavy character. He's a traumatized homeless queer drug addict, and that's sort of hard to make jokey fandom content about. Not impossible, I don't think, but not easy. This isn't to say that angsty fandom content isn't guilty of fanon!Klaus, though. It absolutely is. Often when Klaus willingly shares his feelings, or cries in front of someone, or asks for help for something more intense than tying him to a chair, it's fanon!Klaus. Hell, any time he GETS rescued it's teetering into that territory. He's still completely devoid of all of the grit and intrigue of canon, but he's fun to write about, and fun to project onto, and fun to rescue. He's also EASIER to write. People know that Klaus is a funny character, they know they laugh when he's on screen, but it is WAY harder to write a character you're laughing with than it is to write a character you're laughing at. It's WAY easier to write a character who moves your angst plot on by asking for help, or necessitating rescuing, than it is to work out how these things would happen without initiation. I get it, and in spite of the length of this, I don't think it's the end of the world.

I guess as I close this out, I would remind everyone that Klaus is smart, and mean, and over 30 years old. He's not a babe in the woods, or a damsel in distress, or a useless silly junkie twink. I promise that the real Klaus is worth the time and effort it takes to engage with him.

[technospotatoes]

FUNDY LORE ANALYSIS

Howdy, howdy friends! After about 6 hours of pure thinking, I have more Dream SMP brain rot-theory-analysis stuff for you! This week I’m on spring break, so unfortunately I’m not prolonging any assignments haha! Today my focus is FUNDY LORE >:) and I’ve sprinkled in a little IRL factoids for ya to enjoy! 

Please lemme know your thoughts, opinions and theories-- and as always, it’s gonna be a long one! 

Enjoy <3

TW/CW for brief mentions of derealization-- nothing in detail, just thought I’d let y’all know. Please be safe ily.

Fundy’s lore stream took place today, 3/30/2021. It's roughly 45 minutes, so if you have some time to kill, go watch it! It’s really well done, and his acting is incredible. I will give you a warning; it contains derealization. If you choose not to watch it, here’s a summary from Twitter! link

First, let’s talk about what we know of Fundy’s character so far. 

Fundy’s story throughout the events of the SMP are quite tragic. A few key staples are...

1: the death and betrayals of both Wilbur and Schlatt, as well as the absence of Eret-- all of whom he viewed as father figures (Wilbur being his biological father, and Eret his adopted father who failed to show up at his adoption ceremony. Schlatt was a source of validation and approval for Fundy). 

2: Jealousy of Tommy and Tubbo-- These two replaced Fundy’s position as Wilbur’s son during the L’Manburg eras, and Fundy became rightfully jealous towards them. He no longer felt valued by his father, and was only more negatively impacted when Wilbur made an attempt to mend that rift. 

3: witnessing the rise and ultimate fall of L’Manburg-- and even assisting in its destruction with Niki. 

Along with some other rocky encounters with his family members in the timeline, Fundy can be simply boiled down as a character with no stable relationships to his family, or those whom he considers family. However, he does deeply value his friends and the fun that he has with them-- which we can assume is one of his attachments (this will be important later). He takes pride in making mischief and carries a friendly persona… which makes him easily approachable. 

He does carry valid reasons to instigate villainous acts-- but he instead chooses to remain neutral due to his fear of losing something else close to him. 

I have a number of thoughts regarding Fundy’s character and his current lore, so enough stalling from me, and let's get into it!

Analysis of Stream:

The desert

When Fundy leaves his tower for the first time during the dream sequence, the world is no longer the SMP, but is replaced with a barren desert. From the title of the stream, we can infer that this desert represents Fundy’s Mind and contains the majority of what he thinks about. Deserts often symbolize loneliness or emptiness, and can also be synonymized with brutal honesty or survival. Fundy’s character is indeed alone (in terms of family), and has fought for his survival by being sly and mischievous through Schlatt’s reign of Manburg. Sand itself symbolizes the passage of time, or in other words, the inevitability of the future or truth. As we see in each of the 3 dream sequences, the mysterious bunker containing “truth” appears closer and closer to Fundy’s tower and also becomes more withered and worn on the inside, implying that Fundy cannot escape the coming of truth and future as time passes. 

The desert itself contains a replica of the Camarvan from the old L’Manburg days-- likely a representation of Fundy’s childhood that he holds onto dearly, in spite of his past trauma. During the first dream sequence, the van even contains Wilbur-- perhaps to mock Fundy’s pain, or remind him of it. During the second sequence, Wilbur is gone, likely referencing Wilbur’s absence in Fundy’s life, or his death. During the 3rd dream sequence, the Camarvan is replaced with what looks to be a crater, or the aftermath of an explosion. This could possibly reference the ultimate destruction of L’Manburg (and the destruction of the van), or it could be foreshadowing of the destruction in the future… 

Side theory, here! Tubbo just lost a nuke, and multiple people have vendettas against Dream / want him dead. The pit seemed like it was made out of black stone and obsidian, the same materials as the prison, so it is likely that this is an allusion to Dream’s possible escape.

Who is “He”?

On his 3rd visit to the odd bunker in his dream world, Fundy reads the 3rd book in the chest. Towards the end, this book warns him of a vague male character that Fundy should not join, or avoid at all costs. To quote the book…

“Do not join him. Whatever he asks of you. Do NOT join him. His plans aren’t as nice as they sound. His intentions aren’t what you think they are. He will use you. He will destroy you. Everything you ever loved, everyone you ever cared about. Do not join him.” 

I bet a few characters instantly came to your mind as to who this person that Future Fundy is warning us about, and I’m going to list who I first thought it could be below: 

Technoblade and the Syndicate. Now, I disagree with this option, even though Techno has the outright power to destroy anything and everything like he’s done before. However, because of the creation of the Anarchist Syndicate and their accommodating ideals, it would be out of his character or set of ideals to suddenly destroy Fundy’s attachments to purely demonstrate his power. Also, Fundy no longer represents any forms of government, so he does not pose a threat to the Syndicate. 

I did theorize here that Fundy could be Harpocrates, but that would imply that he goes against the warnings of his future self. (Also not to mention the placement of this stream in the timeline would have to be much later in the past.) But the more that I think about it, the more likely it could be. It wouldn’t necessarily be out of character for Fundy to join the Syndicate and side with Techno against the warnings of his inner voice, but he has been a spy before… 

BBH / the Eggpire. This is also not a likely option for our “he” character, because it is more likely that this dangerous person is not associated with a group such as the Syndicate or Eggpire-- in other words, he operates alone. The Eggpire has plenty of members and those who oppose it, even BBH tried to recruit Fundy and failed. Our “he” has not had an interaction with Fundy yet, and I don’t think that the Eggpire would make an effort to reach out to him again. 

My theory is that Quackity is our “he” figure. As I’ve stated before (see my C!Sam post here), Quackity has proven himself to be an effective manipulator, and could easily persuade Fundy to join his side. Quackity has power over Dream at this time in the plot, and is using it to gain knowledge about revival. He could use his acquired learning from Dream to make a deal with Fundy through using Wilbur’s revival to appease his interest (and provide a chance at healing, given his tough past). Not to mention his cameo at the end of Fundy’s lore stream-- There’s plenty more involvement in the lore that we are going to see from Q. 

The Mysterious Figure

During the final dream sequence of Fundy’s lore stream, he opens the door to his tower, only to see a dark figure, staring into the world… or rather, the absence thereof. This Figure has no other significant character details besides the black hood/cloak and no ign, so we have no evidence as to who it is. I’ve seen plenty of people theorize that this person could be BBH (because of the similarities in cloak design) or they could be the “he” Fundy’s logs are warning him about. But I disagree-- I strongly believe that this mysterious figure is neither of those options, rather, The Mysterious Figure is someone completely separate in this story. Here are a few people I think it could be: 

Wilbur/Schlatt-- both of whom are dead, and could manifest inside Fundy’s mind as spirits or ghosts. 

Dream-- he causes paranoia in many of the younger characters of the SMP, so I wouldn’t put it past him to haunt Fundy like he did Ranboo (the voice in his head). 

Fundy-- a form of himself from the future, or a representation of his conscience (wants, desires, etc). 

Or a guide/protector to Fundy’s mind-- we could see more of this figure if episodes like this stream occur in the future. A character similar to that of the Inbetween or Other Side.

It is important to note that at the end of the sequence, the Mysterious Figure chased Fundy up the tower in fear, causing him to sleep and escape the dream world. I think Fundy would only react this way if he felt directly threatened, so this figure is likely someone unknown and intimidating, or familiar and repulsive enough to cause behaviour akin to a sort of PTSD. It is possible that this figure doesn’t have malicious intent, because there was a bed placed on top of Fundy’s tower. The figure was likely supposed to guide Fundy to this bed to escape the dream world, but this encounter probably did not go according to plan, due to Fundy’s reaction. 

His Internal Monologue

Through the presence of fear and doubt we can learn about the deeper parts and truths of a character. This is the case with Fundy: while he is distressed and afraid in his dream world, through the provided angst we learn about what Fundy truly wants. Fundy states that he wants this dream to end, and he wants to go back to his friends and his old life. He longs for the times where he can just have fun again and prank people, when his friends were there for him. Except, sometimes they weren’t. He states he would join parties and join groups only to watch them disappear as he started to get attached to them. Now, whenever the word “attachment” is uttered anywhere I immediately think back to Dream’s speech, perhaps Fundy is becoming more aware of what he could be endangered by.

Deja Reve

There’s no theory attached to this, just some super cool stuff I found. :)

The reveal of Fundy’s powers instantly set off a flag in my mind the second I heard it. His “powerset” or ability is one of foreshadowing, whatever he dreams about, could happen or is linked to the future. Now, the reason I bring this up is partly because I think it is cool, and it is actually a REAL thing. And I’ve experienced it. Let me introduce you to Deja Reve. 

Deja Reve isn’t really a condition or illness, rather it is a “creepier” form of its more popular counterpart, Deja Vu. When translated directly from French, Deja Reve means “already dreamed.” This word is a descriptor for a specific sequence of events: you dream something, and it happens later, in real life. No, I’m not making this up, and yes, it is real. I’ve had this happen to me multiple times. 

Deja Reve isn’t so simple as “i dreamt this so it will happen tomorrow”. In my case, I would have a particular dream, for example, I went to a Subway with my mom and she discussed with the manager about having my sister work at that location. The morning after I would forget the dream like any other, but many weeks later the exact event I dreamt would happen. I can remember it now, right down to the sandwich I ordered and the way my mom moved across the establishment to talk to the manager-- it was word for word, vision for vision. Each time Deja Reve occurs, I freeze, and I think I’m experiencing a second copy of life, or rewatching a movie. It's super weird, but cool. If something like this has ever happened to you, leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your experiences!

Now I bring this up because many people mistake these sorts of things as having foresight or being able to prophesize-- but it's not the same thing. Deja Reve occurs more often in the younger population, and becomes less and less active as one gets older. Because Fundy is still relatively young in the SMP timeline, I think that not only is this a cool ability set for him to have, but it makes sense for him psychologically as well. There is no clear cause or reason behind why individuals experience Deja Reve, but personally, I believe it has to do with the condition of your brain and it’s experiences to past trauma. Kids who experience trauma find elaborate ways to cope, and usually defer to their imagination. Due to the fact that most of Fundy’s trauma occurred while he was very young in the SMP lore, it is definitely plausible that his amplified, or “more woke” application of Deja Reve, is a product of his past. 

Number Symbolism

I’ll keep this section short, because this post is already miles long, but similar to the previous section, this is something SUPER COOL that I noticed :]

Each book that Fundy reads has a specific number of pages… haha big whoop, Biz, that’s not weird. But did you know that some numbers have symbolism? Did you notice that the 3 books in each dream sequence each had 87 pages, which symbolize family, organization, and idealism? That number symbolizes what Fundy WANTS, but also what he’ll never get if he’s not careful. The first two times he read that book he didn’t finish it… He didn’t achieve his goal? 

Did you also notice that the signed book had 22 pages? That number symbolizes redemption, intuition, emotions, duty and diplomacy-- qualities that oddly correlate to warnings. This number represents what Fundy will NEED to be, in order to survive his future. Also, a Catch 22… take that as you will ;) 

Sidenote… 

Ok this is the last mini section before the end, but another thing that immediately popped into my head during Fundy’s lore was the factor of derealization. Nothing major, but the other times we’ve seen this storytelling or manipulation technique used was during...

Ranboo’s Panic Room / Prison Visit-- believes derealization

Karl and escaping the In Between-- fights against derealization

Fundy’s notebooks-- questions derealization

I have a feeling that whenever derealization is being used, it’s intended to distract the character from the true evil, to prevent them from tracking their own course or fulfilling their own story… So I’ll be excited to see where Fundy takes his. 

GAAAAAAAAAH IT’S DONE, FINALLY. And Congratulations! You made it to the end!! If you have any thoughts or theories, comment below, shoot me an ask or DM, I’d love to discuss with you! Follow me for more in-depth analysis content, I will be doing as many of these as I feel inspired to do in the future. :] 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING <3

[medusinestories]

Aaa Miranda is in this ep and so of course this got Long!

Black Sails, III (S1 ep03)

- I just LOVE the domestic scenes of Flint waking up at home, surrounded by white crisp linen, wearing an oversized shirt, and going straight to a pot of something that smells good (I'm guessing it's tea or a spice he intends to use afterwards). And also how, outside of the rough life at sea, he's actually delicate, wincing when Miranda tends to him a bit roughly.

- I think a reason why I didn't really understand Miranda on my first watch is because she's sulking in a very cool/restrained way in these scenes. She's relieved that Flint's back, but finds small ways to put him down (commenting on the blood on her floor, chiding him for not telling her about the wound, stinging him with disinfectant) that express that she's not altogether happy with him/his behaviour.

- In the meanwhile, Flint's back to being Captain Oblivious. In spite of Miranda's little digs he's so smug about having found the schedule that he doesn't notice that she's unhappy. It's only when she doesn't jump for joy when he gives her the Middleton book that he cottons on that she’s not in a great mood.

- Also, I'll die on the "Flint is bi" hill, and to me the way Flint looks at Miranda when she's fixing his bandages is not only smug but also seductive - she’s the one who’s not receptive in this moment. But the fact that Miranda talks of "having you all to myself" in the same conversation also suggests that their relationship is (still) romantic/sexual. (and while I’m on my unpopular opinion spree, I don’t want to hear anything about “straightbaiting”: reducing Flint and Miranda’s relationship to a trick used by the creators to make the audience think Flint is straight is deeply disrespectful of whatever these two characters share)

- We get to see a lot of Silver writing out the contents of the stolen page, and boy is he proficient with a quill and ink. Where/how/why did a little thief he learn to read and write? This definitely isn't the typical education of a London orphan.

- "Don't torture me, my pain threshold is very low, and I'd say anything to make it stop"... so Silver is threatening to be incoherent and/or inaccurate under torture? A pretty weak argument when faced with someone who wants to torture you for information. And this reminds me that Gates (and Flint, and Billy though he looked very ill at ease) was ready to torture Max in the previous episode to get information, though he presented it as a last resort. And yet here Flint snorts and walks away when Billy suggests torture decides to take Silver along with their crew. So how is Silver different from Max, here? Could it possibly be related to the fact that he and Flint eyesex stare at each other all through the conversation, hmm?

- Back to Breaking Billy: Billy wants to do everything in his power to prevent the crew from finding out that Silver is the actual thief, imo mostly because he doesn't want the crew to find out that he lied to them about Singleton. Billy is shown to be a terrible liar: when he brings Silver to Randall, saying Silver lost a bet to him, Randall immediately tells him that there's no betting onboard, catching him out and putting him in an awkward situation. Gates also warned Billy off canvassing to find out if the crew is still angry with Flint, and was quite right: Morley and Turk immediately figure out what he's doing. However, by the end of the episode, he also uses his reputation of being honest to convince Morley that Singleton was, indeed, a thief. I wonder how he feels about using his reputation of honesty to cover up a lie.

- In the meantime Silver actually does what Billy was trying to do very badly: he finds out who's still against Flint. Unlike Captain Oblivious, Silver has somehow intuited that Billy needed to find the dissenters, possibly because he's figured out that Billy hates keeping up the lie. In any case, he plays double agent in order to gain Billy’s trust (perhaps a bad strategy to gain an honest man’s trust... just saying).

- Hornigold, after an incredibly pompous tirade about the noble origins of the chair he’s sitting on, has the gall to call Flint arrogant and presumptuous. Apparently, arrogant and presumptuous is the kind of people who Gates is friends with/drawn to. I also can't help but wonder why Gates believes that Hornigold's crew knows and trusts him and that it'll be easy for him to captain them. I wonder if Hornigold used to have Gates as a Quartermaster, pre-Flint. The fact that Hornigold tells Gates that he's starting to speak like Flint, in a reproachful tone, could also  be a clue.

- Gates' advancing age is a major subject in this episode, with Hornigold saying that Gates is one of the rare people who's actually getting dumber with age, and Rackham playing on Gates' doubts about his physical condition and mental alertness to convince him to enrol Vane in their capture of the Urca. Gates himself mentioned previously that he doesn’t plan on pirating all his life. Interestingly, Flint doesn't once suggest that he has any doubt about Gates’ ability to captain a ship, and I really don’t think he has (both a sign of great trust, but also a Captain Oblivious trait, as he’s seemingly blind to Gates’ anxiety and possibly the reality of Rackham’s comment about Gates’ physical condition).

- In this episode, Miranda hands her copy of Meditations to Richard Guthrie. Some people have asked why she'd hand something so revealing about Flint to someone like Guthrie. At the point where she gives the book to him, he: 1) doesn't know who she is (she refuses to answer when asked) 2) is supposedly bedridden and being guarded by an armed man, and therefore 3) wouldn't be able to guess who "T.H." is with the information that he currently has. She didn't expect Richard Guthrie that would be a sneaky bastard who was less wounded than he appeared to be and who’d go snooping around her house at the first occasion (btw, snooping parallel: Guthrie in Flint’s house finds out personal information and Silver in Flint’s cabin finds out strategic information). I think that what Miranda wanted was to have someone she could talk to about Meditations, a book that she, her husband, and Flint had all enjoyed, and that she likely couldn’t share with Flint anymore because it’s too painful a subject for him.

- Which brings me to Miranda's situation: her loneliness and the precariousness of her life is already framed quite clearly in this episode. The pastor sends spies to watch her house when Flint is around, and openly asks her to join his congregation so that he can save her from Flint and the impending arrival of the Navy. In the meantime, the crew believe she's at the centre of Flint's "evil": some believe that she's a witch who controls Flint, and Morley tells Billy that she's the reason why Flint treats the crew like pawns.

- The whole Flint/Gates workplace comedy scenes never fail to crack me up. Flint laughing at the suggestion Vane should captain the second ship, followed by "you're serious", and Gates doing damage control in a very restrained tone at first, then the second time screaming insults at Flint... just... *chef's kiss*

- Rackham is shown to be incredibly devious and persuasive in this episode. He manages to convince Gates to convince Flint to take on his worst enemy as a work partner (in a moment when he's getting into Gates' head, he goes as far as to imitate his Yorkshire accent!). He's also extremely aware that Vane isn't all that interested in money, but definitely interested in what Eleanor will think of him. I’d also note that if someone is callous about Max in this episode, it’s him: he sends Vane to “deal with her”, expecting him to kill her off.

- As much as we know that Flint's "tough captain" behaviour is partly an act, we tend to forget that Vane is also shown to be keeping up appearances in order to remain a leader of an extremely difficult/unruly crew. I didn't address the punch in the face he gives Eleanor in ep 1, but he explicitly says this was to avoid losing face in front of his men after she punched him. The same goes for the capture/beating/rape of Max: "what you did required an answer", he tells her. But then chooses to secretly set her free rather than rape/kill her as he’s expected to do. He's obviously smitten with Eleanor, and is the one who initiates tender moments after sex. This is why I can never really dislike this ship, because it's between two very damaged people who are at odds mostly because they’re in a power struggle where they each have to look strong/powerful.

- I hate hate hate the whole Max-rape plot, as I'm sure most of the fandom also does. I do get that Max is furious with Eleanor, and possibly extra-furious because Eleanor instantly turns saving Max from Vane's crew into a strategic move where she punishes Vane (ironically, the one who wanted to let Max go) by forcing Vane’s crew into joining Flint, rather than focusing on, say, Max’s wellbeing. But "Max wants to hurt Eleanor/is hurting from the breakup so badly that she willingly submits to being raped/beaten by the crew, AGAIN"... hrm. I have trouble connecting this self-destructive side of Max's personality with the character we see after her ordeal. Again, opinions welcome because I may be missing/misunderstanding something, but I feel like the writers didn’t really know what they were doing with her character at this point.

[scarletarosa]

What to Know Before Training in Witchcraft (part 3)

You need to learn to question everything. Learn as much as possible, yet question it all until satisfied with sufficient proof. This goes for magick spells you read in books, religions/mythology, and even your current beliefs. Your current self must be destroyed before you can be reborn, and only then will you be ready to carry the burden that this path will bring you. Do not be fooled into thinking that witchcraft is only for having fun, it is a spiritual science that will get you noticed by deities who will test you to see if you are worthy of the power you are seeking. Advancement on this path can only be gained through suffering, so if you want a simple life, this will not work out for you. As mentioned in the first post, witchcraft begins with the Spirit Death, and the death lasts for years until you finally are awoken. But when this happens, you will not be the same at all.

Crystals are talismans and amulets. There are many books on the properties of crystals and rocks, but make sure to question them and experiment for yourself. In order to use them, you either carry them with you, wear them as jewelry, or place them at a certain part of your body (if using them to heal). For example, black tourmaline placed on one’s stomach can be slowly turned in circles in order to release built up toxic energy, and carrying star sapphire allows the energy to act as a protector against malicious attacks (from people’s negative energy, such as envy or spite). If you wish to keep yourself grounded and not lose energy, carry a snowflake obsidian in your pocket, and touch it while asking for it to protect your energy. If a crystal is on a piece of jewelry, this jewelry must be ritually blessed in order for it to allow the crystal to function. 

There are no ingredients that can replace all other ingredients. Just because some people some time ago started the rumour that “white candles replace all candles” or “rosemary can replace all other herbs” does not mean that these are true. One of the greatest things to learn before training to be a witch is to think critically and not follow herds. Experiment for yourself so you can truly learn and become wise. As for these ingredients, the reason why it does not work this way is because everything has its own energy (like DNA) and it cannot be manipulated or be so complex that it represents all things (not even gods are like that). 

Invocations are powered by passion, not by the words themselves. When using invocations, it does not matter whether they rhyme or not (as popularized by media), but what matters is the passion and will you put into them. You need to actually understand how invocations work in order to use them properly; otherwise, you are simply speaking and nothing more. So in order to use this ability better, you can study ancient cultures’ magick such as Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Aztec. Additionally, do not recite any invocation you do not understand, this can sometimes lead to trouble. 

Be cautious about the incense you offer to gods. Every scent has a different frequency, and each deity has a specific frequency that they match with. For instance, do not offer rose incense to Ares or myrrh to Set. If this is done, the deity will become offended due to your lack of effort and consideration put into this offering. Each offering is meant to be a form of sacrifice, so put thought into it and even just ask the god if what you have in mind would be acceptable. Incense may seem like a simple thing to people nowadays, but in ancient times, it was taken very seriously as an offering and that is how the gods expect it. 

Learn how to ward yourself. In order to avoid malicious entities coming up to you or receiving intakes of toxic energy from other people, you need to know how to make wards in the astral. To do this, visualize and deeply focus on a cocoon of protective energy or fire forming around you. It will take practice to perfect this, but it is well worth it. Just remember that the ward will fade over some short time, so it needs to be remade. 

Higher Selves and the Shadow. Both of these are present in every person: the higher self is the soul (or Ba, our eternal self who we become after death). In most of the population, peoples’ higher selves are human, but some others may have different entities within them (such as angelic, demonic, elven, draconic, etc). As for the Shadow, this is the accumulation of one’s trauma, negative emotions, and insecurities. It forms into its own entity in your mind and attempts to sabotage you and manipulate you into submitting into self-destruction. In order to fight against your Shadow, you must work on your will-power and the ability to analyze and understand who you are and your traumas. Just make sure that you do not interact with your Shadow, since developing a connection with them puts you in danger.

Sigils need to be created on planetary squares. Sigils are a very old practice in magick that requires the witch to use a tablet of spiritual power to numerically infuse that into a design. There are instructions on how to do this online, though make certain that you use the proper square in regards to what you are needing (ex: sigil for help strengthening psychic powers- use the square of Luna). Once the sigil is made, you need to meditate upon it without any distractions for at least 20 minutes. Then continue doing this for about a week (with more complex desires, such as developing astral abilities, the meditations should need to last a month at least). Overall, one should study planetary magick and learn to recognize the energies of each celestial sphere so you can sense which of them effect certain plants and rocks. This skill will allow you to better understand the properties of each object before utilizing it (each object is connected to more than one planet- ex: avocados are linked to both Earth and Venus).

Magick is far more complex than you think. The abilities one can have through magick after decades of training can be vast and even terrifying, which is why witches were feared in the first place. An advanced witch is capable of healing illness, exorcising spirits, spirit communication, astral travel, calling upon storms, and even cursing someone to die with barely any effort. All of these and more are possible, but it takes years upon years of diligent effort, patience, humility, will-power, and study. It is a craft like any other, though perhaps one of the most difficult things to achieve. Due to this, it is highly recommended that any witch seek out an experienced and trustworthy mentor who can guide them. And if possible, it is best to also become initiated into a certain path such as Hermeticism, which will put the witch through trials of struggle in order to grant their Rebirth. 

Part 1 | Part 2