#insulting each other

[stephicness]

[endearingly]

[bozhenkamoya]

i just think louis and armand should fight every episode at least ones, that's when they match each other's energy best. also, they're just really good at it.

[brainrotcharacters]

TW: Wolverine Badonkas

I laughed rewatching because like

[dcxdpdabbles]

Alfred: A old contact is sending a representative on his behalf. I need you all to be on your best behavior while he is here.

Bruce: aka, do not embarrass Alfred in front of his old spy buddies

Jason: you're the most embarrassing one among us

Bruce: How so?

Jason: *gesturing to Batcave*

Bruce: Well, at least I didn't get my city dragged into a dimension of death when I was a teenager.

Jason: What?

Alfred: He's talking about Danny. He is the young ward of my old contact Clockwork. Master Bruce has a rivalry with Danny since they were both young

Bruce: It's not a rivalry. That implies he is my equal which he isn't.

Alfred: Of course, Master Bruce.

Later in the evening

Danny: Bruce.

Bruce: Danny.

Danny: Still single, I see.

Bruce: Still ugly, I see.

Danny: Whore

Bruce: Virgin

Alfred: Danny hasn't even stepped through the door yet. Master Bruce, could you please behave for one weekend?

Danny/Bruce: Sorry Alfred he just gets on my nerves-WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Alfred: *sigh* this will be a long seventy two hours.

Jason: What is going on between them?

Alfred: It's a tale as old as time young master. Spite at first sight.

[keferon]

Let me tell you their duo WASNT something I expected to see. Like. Ever. Oh my god ahahaha

[sp0o0kylights]

Grass is green, water is wet, and Jonathan Byers does not like Steve Harrington.

These are known facts in the universe.

Computers were going to take over the world, a “mobile” phone was being invented, and Steve Harrington had lost most of his hearing.

These were unknown facts--rumors even, if you will. Eddie had never seen even a grain of truth to support any of them. 

(Well, maybe the computer thing, but only because Grant and Dustin both had made a couple of convincing arguments.) 

So he doesn’t think about it, when his freshman gang up on him. 

Doesn’t even factor the “can’t hear well” thing in, when he was tasked (demanded, whined, bitched and moaned at) with helping them explain to Steve why going to the release party of the new D&D box set, located at a hobby store only a mere 2 hour drive away, was important.

Eddie’s not even sure how the little shits got him to agree to do it until he’s standing in the parking lot in front of the former King himself. 

“The store’s leading up to the release with a handful of one-shots.” He’s explaining, unsure whether to pull out the bored act or play up his court jester persona, and thus mixing and matching on the fly. 

He does not care if Harrington doesn’t know what a one-shot is. 

“They’re releasing the set at midnight. You have to be there to get it though, you can’t have someone else pick it up for you because they only got a certain amount in.” 

Harrington’s frowning (no surprise) but it’s not until Eddie is well into his spiel about how his van is already full with the elder members of Hellfire, and thus has no room for the freshmen, that he realizes Steve isn’t quite looking at him. 

Is in fact, looking over his shoulder.

Eddie stops. Follows Harrington’s gaze.

Parked across from Steve’s Beemer, is Jonathan Byer’s barely working clunker car. 

A handful of steps in front of it, and thus nearly right behind Eddie, is the man himself.

His hands are still moving, mouth shaping words silent as he goes, his gaze locked not on Eddie or the kids--but on Steve. 

Who turns back around as Harrington’s eyes slide right back to him. 

“And this is taking place next Friday?” He says, in that sort of annoyed but resigned way parents aim at their children. “After school?” 

“I’d like to go during  school, but the freshmen insist you wouldn’t let them ditch out.” Eddie tells him. “They had two separate arguments about it.” 

Loud ones, that had interrupted the game and given Eddie a migraine. 

Once again Steve’s eyes slide away from him, to Jonathan. 

“They’re not skipping school.” He says suddenly, a glare forming and Jonathan makes an annoyed noise. 

“They argued about skipping, they’re not going to.” He says aloud, and finally steps up so that he’s next to Eddie instead of behind him. 

“Munson slow down, I can’t sign as fast as you’re talking.” He adds, in the hang-dog grumble he’s notorious for. 

Eddie stares at him. 

“Can he seriously not hear me?” 

“No.” Steve and Jonathan answer together. 

“I can kind of still hear,” Steve adds, gaze returning to Eddie’s face. “But its more loud music or noises. I can lip read, but you’re also talking too fast for that.” 

Without pausing, he turns back to Jonathan and says; “Why can’t you take them?”

“It’s Friday.” Byers deadpans. 

Eddie’s not an expert on sign language, but his hands somehow looked deadpan too. 

He’s not sure how Jonathan did that. 

“So?” Steve snarks back. 

What follows is an argument that Eddie is not, at all involved in, mostly because he’s too busy handling the fact that Jonathan Byers has learned sign language, for Steve Harrington, apparently, and given the tone the argument is taking they still don’t even like each other.  

Eventually the argument ends, Steve throwing his hands in the air and demanding that Jonathan owes him. 

(Eventually Eddie will corner the ever so quiet Will Byers and ask why the hell his brother learned sign language for someone he clearly fucking hates.

“Oh they don’t hate each other.” Baby Byers would say, in that shy, quiet way of his. “I think they’re actually friends now?” 

“You think?”

“Well--you’ve seen them.” Will shrugs. “I think being mean to each other is kinda their thing.” 

‘What the hell.’ Eddie would think, right up until he stumbled across one of the kids sign language books. 

Byers the Elder, he decides, isn’t the only person who should learn sign language to chew out Harrington properly.

The pay off is immediate. 

Or at least, the pay off of watching Steve’s shocked face the first time Eddie signs something vulgar at him is, anyway.)

[elainiisms]

i only like couples where they are both just losers. like absolutely pathetically embarrassing. they are sooo lucky they found each other bc everyone else on the planet would rather be shot than be shackled to either of them

[inkyrainstorms]

based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)

This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer

And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors

And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit

Transcript and full image under cut

Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac

Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me

[chiyana]

this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor

yes that House

why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.

House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.

in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.

He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.

admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")

but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.

also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it

[the-inner-musings-of-a-worm]

i bet the aftg universe youtube videos of "neil josten and kevin day having the greatest exy friendship for 12 minutes" slapped severely

[vivenecii]

"Did you, uh... ever meet him?"

"Yes. Seemed a very bright young man. I showed him all the kingdoms of the world."

"Why?"

"He's a carpenter from Galilee. His travel opportunities are limited. [...] That's got to hurt. What was it he said that got everyone so upset?"

"'Be kind to each other.'"

"Oh, yeah. That'll do it."

[varpusvaras]

Imagine you're a common criminal in Gotham, okay. Just a regular old goon. Not particularly devoted to any of the rogues or anything, sometimes you just rob a car or somehing on your own. But the times are tough, so you take a job from one of the bigger names. Just a really simple job, standing in guard on one of the rooftop doors. Easy peasy.

Of course you know about the Batman at this point, but hey, he's just one man. One very scary man who could probably kick your ass, but still, just one man, and you have like, ten fellow goons around you. So you're good.

And then you see something land on the roof next to you and do a ridiculously high spinning kick right towards your head and you go oh, that's not the Batman.

As you lie there on the roof, with your ears ringing, you see a tiny little child dressed in the most bright primary colors ever, and what is he doing here? That is a whole child. Where are his parents? Where are his pants?

And then Batman comes, and he says something to the child, and you can't really hear it because your ears are still ringing, but you can see the child smile, real wide and real charming, and you can see the Batman sigh and then call him a dick. And you think oh wow, Batman here really is dragging a kid along with him in the middle of the night, not giving him pants and then insulting him to his face. And you don't have kids of your own, but you do have nieces and nephews, and that's not okay. That's not okay. You can't even be mad at the kid for kicking you, because that's not okay.

And so, Batman becomes your number one enemy. Not because he prevents you from getting paid, but for being mean to a kid.

Over ten years later and you are laying on a roof again, your ears ringing, and you are watching Batman and Nightwing talk, and you watch Nightwing laugh and smile, real wide and real charming, and hey. You know that smile.

Batman sighs.

"Dick", he says.

It's been over ten years, but you have not been able to let it go.

So despite the ringing in your ears and the fact that you got the air punched out of you not too long ago, you push yourself up.

"Don't you talk to him like that", you say, and based on the reactions of both Nightwing and Batman, they most likely thought that you were unconscious, because they're staring at you like deer in the headlights.

"What?" Batman growls, in a way that would be indimitating any other night, but the probable concussion combined with the righteous anger is making you very bold at that moment.

"You heard me", you say. "Don't you talk to him like that. Between the two of you, you are the bigger dick here."

Batman looks...honestly stupified. Nightwing looks at you with his mouth open, and then he starts laughing again. Really laughing. Doubling over laughing.

Batman is starting to look a bit resigned, and you are starting to think that maybe you had missed something.

You get carried of to the hospital, and the next day you get told that all of your medical expenses have been paid off by a generous donation by the Wayne Foundation, in order to prevent criminals from reoffending by erasing their medical debt. Something about that smells, but you are not going to look the gift horse in the mouth. You like Bruce Wayne better than Batman, anyway. He does a lot for the city, and at least he isn't walking around calling his child a dick.

[my-name-is-apollo]

One thing I like about Apollo in Hades 2 is that he is usually polite, especially respectful towards his elders, but if they provoke him he will get back at them. But in a subtle manner, and only after a few seconds will you realise that he was throwing shade.

I'm paraphrasing here but here are two examples:

Hera: you are just like Zeus (derogatory)

Apollo: did you just compare me to your husband ? How awfully kind of you :)

Poseidon: haha Apollo has finally decided to join the war because he couldn't withstand the pressure from his dear mortals anymore

Apollo: it's because I want to help you, uncle! since I know that you guys cannot handle this situation on your own :)

[kurara-black-blog]

Lucifer: You're just dollar store Dr. Facilier, shut your mouth—

Alastor: Stop using your God forsaken knowledge of modern media to insult me in ways I don't understand, I will not "Voogle it"

Lucifer: You're not even an interesting bootleg— you're in Hell because of low quality plagiarism, I'm pretty sure—

Alastor: I'm going to chew on your kidneys—

[ktmy-tf2]

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