tickoffyourlovers

[keferon]

Let me tell you their duo WASNT something I expected to see. Like. Ever. Oh my god ahahaha

[fandoms-uniteds-blog]

My Top 10 Favorite Cartoons!

Number 10 Octonauts

What attracted me to this show when I was ten was the lessons on animals since most shows for little kids are about shapes, numbers, letter, and other boring stuff. But not the Octonauts! They talk about two of my favorite things: science and animals. And sea creatures no less. When was the last time you’ve seen a show meant for young children that educated them on the ocean and everything in it? Maybe that one show on PBS with the Cat in the Hat? But I like Octonauts better. Just look at those designs. Absolutely adorable!

It’s simple, it’s cute, and it’s surprisingly interesting sometimes.

I used to be super embarrassed for watching a show meant for toddlers since I’m in my twenties, but then I found out that their are grown adults that enjoy wholesome shows too, like Paw Patrol and PJ Masks! It was a nice relief to know that I wasn’t the only one.

Number 9 Wander over Yonder

This has got to be the sweetest show to every be put on Television. Most main characters have to be strong and cool and have an internal struggle to be impressing, but Wander doesn’t. He’s the cinnamon roll of all cinnamon rolls!

All he does is travel the universe with his bestie Sylvia (in a bubble!) and goes sightseeing. And if he happens to help people along the way, even better!

What gets me about this show is that Wonder’s optimistic and naivety doesn’t always lead to everything being hunky dory. Sometimes being nice gets him in trouble or makes even the simplest tasks harder than necessary. Heck, if Sylvia wasn’t there to have his back, his kindness would be a lot easier to take advantage of.

And I love that because it’s true that sometime being nice doesn’t feel as accomplishing as is should and can even backfire on us. But even though Wander’s experienced betrayal and hardships in his life, he still has enough hope in his heart to keep helping people.

Number 8 LEGO Ninjago

I remember when this show came out all those years ago. Back when TV’s were these big, chunky machines and you had to prop them up on tables instead of mounting them on walls.

This show is full of so much creativity and lore. From the elemental powers, to Ninjago City’s history, to the characters, and even the ideas that were dropped, it’s no wonder why the show’s still going. It’s great watching Kai, Jay, Cole, and Zane make friends, battle enemies, learn life lessons, discover secrets about themselves, and go on the craziest adventures.

I ended up being too busy because of middle school after season 3 ended and missed out of the rest of it up until Sea Bound was announced. Thanks to the birthday specials LEGO did for Ninjago’s anniversary, I learned that the show was still running and on Netflix. So me and my sister binge watched the series from the start and we fell right back in love with it.

Number 7 Transformers Animated

Out of all the Transformers series, this one is my personal favorite. Yes the other shows are pretty good too, but this one is different from all the other shows, comics, games, and movies. And I like different!

Optimus Prime has been depicted as a lot of things. A war hero that keeps his men’s spirits up with good humor and cheesy quips (G1). A powerful warrior who has become jaded after a millennia of war (Bay). A stoic leader and friend who won’t give up hope for a better future (Prime). But TFA Optimus isn’t any of that. If anything, he’s a little bit of everything but still his own thing.

And Optimus’s not the only one who’s different. Prowl is a nature loving ninja, Ratchet is a grouchy war veteran who cares about his team, Bulkhead is full of knowledge and creativity, and Bumblebee is the kid of the group with a lot to learn. The Decepticons are just as entertaining too with their own unique abilities and personalities.

All in all, there isn’t any other version of Transformers like this one and I wish more long time franchises would try something new from time to time.

Number 6 LEGO Monkie Kid

Based on one of the four classic Chinese literatures, Monkie Kid is a wonderful adaptation of a four hundred year old book that’s had a crap ton of movies, shows, and even an upcoming video game inspired by it.

I’m very picky about shows and movies based on history, mythology, or folklore. I like it when it’s accurate, but understand when things have to be changed around. It’s why I’m not the biggest Disney’s Hercules fan since they got the mythology completely and utterly wrong.

But Monkie Kid is freaking amazing. The amination is so colorful and lively and exhilarating! MK, the Monkey King, and all of their friends are so much fun to watch and I love all of them. The story is wild and mystical, which is fitting since Chinese folklore makes little to no sense but is still entertaining as heck. Don’t believe me? Read the original Journey to the West novels and just try to make logical sense out of it. Like why the dragon stays a horse for 95% of the book when he can be a huge fire breathing dragon!

I used to bug my little sister to watch this show with me all the time. And her being the little sh*t that she is always said “no” just because she has this weird habit of turning me down. But I was finally able to tie her down and force her to watch the first season! And guess what? She liked it! All this talk about NoT bEiNg InTeReStEd and now she’s getting ready to go cosplay as MK for a convention!

Number 5 Gargoyles

This has got to be Disney’s coolest show of all time. Disney usually sticks with cutey family friendly stuff like Duck Tales and Goof Troop, but they decided to take a risk and try to gain an older audience with Gargoyles. And they succeeded!

The show’s based on some of Shakespeare's books and has a good mix of fantasy and sci-fi. Especially when it takes places in 90′s New York. It also teaches a lot of mature life lessons like the importance of taking responsibility for your actions, the dangers of being stubborn and in denial, prejudice, gun safety, death, and so much more.

The characters are all lovable tropes of the 90′s, including the smart one (Lexington), the big eater (Broadway), the guy who wants to look cool but is actually a dork (Brooklyn), the dog (Bronx), the wise mentor (Hutson), the badass leader (goliath), and the girl of the group (Elisa). But their personalities and arcs are expanded on after the first few episodes. And the people they met also get a chance to shine in their own way and I appreciate that.

I’d recommend this to anyone who’s into Shakespeare or anyone who needs something to push their interest towards those kinds of stories.

Number 4 Arcane

I’m not a gamer, so I have little to no information on League of Legends. I don’t know the characters, the landscapes, the items, the history, or the lore of this world. But you don’t need to be a LoL fan to watch Arcane.

The animation? Gorgeous. The music? Amazing. The action? Thrilling! The characters? Complex. The voice acting? Impressive. And the story in general? Captivating.

I like how this show demonstrates how everyone’s actions have consequences and that there’s more to people than meets the eyes. Humans (and whatever other creatures exist in this world) are complex being and the choices we make don’t just affect our own life, but the lives of others too. Seeing the domino effect of everyone’s actions is as entertaining as it is nerve wracking since no one knows what the end results will be until it’s too late.

Another thing I love about this show is that it’s a Netflix original so it’s translated in Spanish. I was able to watch Arcane with my parents and they loved it. It was so much fun watching their reactions to the action, the conflict, and the sisters’ relationship because the two of them are very vocal and expressive. When the season one finale ended with that jaw dropper of a cliffhanger, they were both waiting for me to put on the next episode. They were devastated when I told them that that was it and had to wait for season two.

Number 3 Final Space

Like most animated series nowadays, Final Space is a mix of goofy, angsty, and lore heavy. But then, as the series progresses, the angst is doubled, if not tripled, and the side characters are given a chance to be fleshed out.

Everyone in the show has a story to tell. Gary, Mooncake, Avocato, Little Cato, Quinn, HUE, and everyone else have a past that ends with them being brought together to help each other reach their goals. Each with their own strength, weaknesses, and arcs to go through that make us love or hate them.

The first season is easily a fun space adventure with a few mysterious for us to look forward to and heart felt moments that have us sobbing. Then season two ups the stakes with the universe needing saving and more trauma for the characters to endure. And then there’s season three, which hits us in the feels in every episode and leaves us with an ending like no other.

If you're going to watch this show, then I’d advise you to prepare yourself emotionally.

Number 2 Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

If you haven’t guessed one of my guilty pleasures from my favorite Transformers shows, I like it when the usual formula is shaken up a bit.

The TMNT franchise has had dozens of shows, movies, comics, and video games dedicated to these guys. All of them about four mutant turtles in their teens being raised as ninjas by their rat father and using their skills to fight all kinds of evil lurking in New York City.

But Rise turns the sci-fi into fantasy and use that to give us something brand new. Not just rebooted, but reimagined! Each turtle is a different species, they have their own unique powers, they have different personalities from their previous incarnations, and the adventures they go on feel a lot more fun and sometimes grander than before.

And it’s not just the TMNT part that I love. The animation is jaw dropping. The voice acting is very fitting. The humor leaves me laughing every time. The action scenes are so fast and creative. The characters are likable and memorable. And the brotherly relationship of Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are put front and center for us to gush over.

I know some people have a thing about changes, but if you give this show a chance, I swear you’ll love it.

Number 1 Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart

I have never related to a fictional character before, much less three, yet here they are in the form of a grumpy cat with big dreams, a cybernetic badger with a big imagination, and a chaotic bat with a big heart.

And if you’ve watched even one episode of the show and know what I mean when I say that I relate to them, then yes, you should be very concern for my mental health.

This show is truly a treasure. It has everything I love in a cartoon and more. It has fluff, angst, mystery, comedy, friendship, bromance, humor, hurt/comfort, sci-fi, fantasy, anthro animals, and the classic found family trope all rolled into one! What else is there to say other than this show is nothing less than amazing. The characters are charming, the world is interesting, the adventures are entertaining, the visual humor is hilarious, and the main trio have their own tragic backstories that make them easy to sympathize with.

Funny story: me and my little sister were watching it together and she started laughing her butt off when Badgerclops was complaining to Mao Mao and Adorabat about having too many chores. I was glad she was enjoying herself until it got to the part where Badgerclops was says something along the lines of “It’s always Badgerclops, fix the arocycle. Badgerclops, go get groceries. It’s overwhelming dude!” Then my b*tch of a sister turns to me with a sh*t eating grin and goes “Rose, do the dishes. Rose, clean the bathroom,” and laughed in my face!

It’s not my fault I live with a bunch of gluttons who can’t put their dirty dishes in the kitchen or wipe the bathroom sink after they splash water everywhere!

...

Wait a minute, why do a lot of of my favorite shows end in tragedy?! And I don’t mean the final episode or whatever, I mean the program as a whole! Final Space was canceled after giving us a depressing season three finale, Gargoyles had a terrible season three because Disney switched their writers with people who knew nothing about the show and had to wing it, Transformers Animated was cancelled when a season four was planned, ROTTMNT was “put on hold” for years until the movie came out with hopes of bringing it back, Wander over Yonder was going to have a season three with an ever bigger baddy but was shot down, and Mao Mao was promised a season two until a certain company that will burn in hell took that away from us!

Hopefully Ninjago, Arcane, Octonauts, and Monkie Kid aren’t hit with the same bad luck.

Just how many more amazing shows were screwed over and why are they always the ones I love?!

[dragonclaw29]

Top Ten Anime (Sorta)

Hello everyone it is that time of year again, time for my annual top ten anime list. In order not to be boring I have removed any repeats from any previous years. If you want to find those you can search my blog for top ten anime and they will come up. Well I know you didn’t come for my ramblings so here is the list. 

10. Devilman Crybaby

This show I think reflects what sin actually looks like and what it does to a person. Akira is a high school boy whose friend has a mysterious past. A past which will come to dominate not only their friendship but the world as we know it. When demons are on the prowl one might find themselves stooping to their level. 

9. Erased

How does the disappearance of a girl from a mans childhood have anything to do with his mothers death. A man must find out in order to prove his name, and stop tragedy from repeating itself. I would say more but I don’t want to ruin any surprises. 

8. Darker than Black

BK201 a mysterious Contractor involved in the deaths of dozens of people. Ever since 4 gateways around the world appeared people with powers have started to manifest no more so deadly than BK201. With a great opening and a fun character cast from all over the world, Darker than black will keep you guessing and on the edge of your seat. 

7. Demi-Chan wa Kataritai

In a world where human looking monsters exist it is up to teachers and parents to make sure that they can integrate successfully into society. This show is a cute story about a group of friends trying to fit in despite their differences. Demi-chan is adorable, funny, and has a great message and is a show I could recommend to every one. 

6. Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

If you have been on tumblr for longer than six seconds and were into anime you already have heard of this show. Its great.

5. Paranoia Agent

Japanese society is thrown off its hinges when a mysterious bat wielding man starts to terrorize Tokyo. A mascot designer lies at the heart of this. This show takes no prisoners with its mystery and I am certain you will not guess the twist. Ps. Best episode is number 10, objective fact. 

4. Konosuba

If you were to actually isekai the average teenage boy this show is what I think you would get. I love this show its hilarious, the art style is great, the characters lifelike. Kazuma the main character suddenly finds himself dead and in front of a God. When asked what to bring to the other world he demands that the god comes with him, hilarity ensues. In short this two season show will make you cry laughing. 

3.  Tasogare Otome x Amnesia

The only romance anime on this list Tasogare amnesia tells the tale of a man and the ghost who fell in love with him. This show is surprisingly funny with some really emotional scenes. I fell in love with the shows heroine and her antics as she harasses the only person who can see her. 

2. Shinsekai Yori 

Oh god do I have so many thoughts about this show. I can’t sum them up in a short paragraph. If I had to say anything it would be that everything about this show is designed perfectly to have you stay up late at night thinking about it. This show is not for the faint of heart but it promises one of the best stories ever written. Only reason it wasn’t in my top ten last year was because I still wasn’t over it. 

1. Ima soko ni iru boku

Why does man do evil? That question is explored in this show as the main character Shu is thrust into a world he doesn’t understand but is very much like our own. This show gave me whiplash between the first two episodes, and if you watch it you will know what I mean. I won’t say much on it, it will ruin the effect if I do but be ready to see both the cruelty and beauty of man. 

So thats this years list done and dusted. As per usual feel free to message me to ask questions or tell me that I am wrong. If you have any anime recommendations send them my way. Big shout out to @drunkusaurelius​ for watching many of these shows with me and being just an awesome person. Also make sure to check out @sassymomfriend​ who will upload their own top ten list, tell her I say hi and that not all of my anime choices are life scaring just most of them. 

[gerbiloftriumph]

The Silence Between Snowflakes

(also on ao3) ~ 3/8 - The Stories That Really Matter

~*~*~

The storm was bigger than expected. Daventry woke to a fresh blanket of snow at least two feet high in places, and more still on the way. The guards grumbled and manned their shovels.

Rosella and Alexander sat in her room while the snow continued to fall, playing the new and improved Battle of Wits—when Valanice walked past, she could hear them laughing (laughing! Her boy, laughing!) and Alexander whimpering in pain as another arrow nicked his thumb. They were playing less to win as they were to hit each other, it sounded like.

Siblings.

After a hot lunch, Graham held his usual audience hours. He wasn’t sure if anyone would show up in this weather, but if anything major was impending he needed to know about it. Between the potential goblins and the endless snow, he was sure something would come up. Alexander quietly asked if he might try sitting in, too, to see what Graham did as a king. All those walks had done good, it seemed, sparking his curiosity. Graham was absolutely delighted, stocking the lad with blankets and hot drinks and making sure he had a good view in case people came.

And they did. Crusted with snow, peeling slushy gloves and scarves from their hands and faces, they came to make their reports. They were uneasy about the weather, primarily. It was too early in the season for this sort of thing, and Graham was quite sure it wasn’t going to ease up as the winter went on—his people felt the same.

“I just don’t know if we have enough wood stockpiled,” Amaya warned.

“Whisper is happy to collect more, but Whisper isn’t sure about being able to support the whole village,” Whisper added. “But Whisper has been emphasizing arm day, so Whisper can do it.”

Graham considered. They had some options: they should definitely cancel the annual huge marshmallow roast, that was easy enough. Perhaps they could also thin out some of the encroaching trees on Pillare Hill, if she would be amenable to that suggestion. She’d complained once about how gloomy her hill was starting to look, and clearing back some of the branches might brighten it again. He made a note to talk to her about it as soon as possible, told Whisper he wouldn’t need to do everything himself, and promised they could certainly keep warm for a good long while together no matter what.

The fear about the village roofs groaning under the snow was valid—one of the older houses on the edge of the wall had snapped under the pressure, timbers shedding snow inside the rooms. No one had been hurt, but Graham immediately dispatched a team of guards to clear the rest of the rooftops now, and invited the displaced villagers to stay in the castle.

Nervous questions about goblins were repeated again and again, and Graham listened patiently to each new worry. Concerns about consumables were constant. If they were stealing clothes, might they steal food next? What might happen if the flour ran low? If they dug their tunnels into the vegetable cellars? Graham ordered another fully updated inventory done of the castle’s holdings, and walked the villagers through the plans No1 had put together, careful to point out what each villager would find most relevant.

Bramble was especially apprehensive about the wedzels trying to break into town to escape the chill in the forests. She’d heard them howling in the forest in the night, thought she heard them prowling the streets outside her shop. Graham would have the gates reinforced and extra torches placed around the paths. He explained that they tended to scare away from blue-flamed light in particular; he had learned that in the knight tournament all those years ago. She smiled, satisfied with the response.

Hours whirled past like snowflakes. Graham stretched out the knots in his back between petitioners, glancing at Alexander to make sure he was comfortable. He was curled on the bench like a cat, watchful, with an unreadably blank expression as he absorbed everything his father did. Every word he spoke, every movement of his hand.

They were prepared. Daventry was capable of surviving even the bleakest winters, Graham knew. But it wouldn’t be easy, and the wary looks on his citizens’ faces told him they knew it wouldn’t be, either. And if the second half was worse than this first, then they would want to start getting ready now.

“What did you think?” Graham asked later, breaking open a heel of bread and dipping it in his soup. No standing on ceremony or manners on a frozen night when there was no one but his family around him. The fireplace crackled and snapped behind him, pouring blessed heat into the informal dining hall.

“Interesting,” Alexander said. “You’re...very patient.” The unspoken words: Unlike Manannan.

“I’ve got to be,” Graham said. “You’ll hear a lot of the same questions again and again, but you’ve got to give them all your full attention like they’re the first person to have brought it up. It helps them trust you, shows that you’ll listen, that you’ll care. I’m not sure every other kingdom works like that, but this one does.”

“Still,” Valanice said distractedly, swirling her spoon through her bowl, “this is the strangest winter I can remember. I wonder what the Hobblepots would have had to say about this—maybe it’s like this every hundred years?”

“They weren’t that old,” Graham protested. “Still. I’ll have a look through the history books. If there’s anything like this, it’ll be mentioned somewhere, I’m sure.” And maybe give me some clue about what might happen next.

“It’s good for snowmen,” Rosella said, mouth full of bread. “Packs together really well.”

“Hard to shovel,” No2 groaned, wincing, as he carried a pitcher of water around the table. “I’m going to feel that for a week.”

“Someone needs to make sure you stay in shape,” No1 said drily from his post near the door.

Graham smiled. “I asked Olfie about hiring him and Pillare to scoop out the main roads. That should free up the guards for patrols and other tasks.”

“I can’t imagine she was best pleased at that.” No2 gently put the pitcher back on the serving board.

“As compensation, she wants the castle to fund an order with Acorn for a new winter cap and matching gloves. She wants embroidery. Birds, is what I heard last. She keeps changing her mind. It’s going to take ‘til the end of winter to get it done, Acorn says.”

“Her hands are as big as he is!”

“It’s a good challenge, is what I told him,” Graham said. “He’s even looking forward to it, I think.”

Outside, the snow continued to drift.

~*~*~*~

“Alexander.”

He didn’t look at Rosella. His chin was in his hands, and he was staring out the window with a look of intense thoughtfulness, mulling over something. His lips were moving as he thought, but he made no sound.

“Alexaaaander.”

Still nothing.

Very quietly, not sure it would work or should even be said: “Gwydion?”

He instantly leapt to his feet and tumbled into a haphazard bow, all awkward limbs and nervous babble, “Yessir, sorry, sir, what can I do—oh. Um. Sorry, hi. Sorry.”

“Oh no, no, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t think that you’d...I’m so sorry. But. Look, Alexander, are you okay? You’ve been sitting there for at least twenty minutes. I’ve walked past twice and tried to talk to you each time and you haven’t noticed.”

It had felt like just a minute or two. “Fine.”

“You’ve got this look on your face, though. Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Yes.”

She leaned against the bookcase. “What’s the question?”

“Sorry?”

“You always have some question about Daventry when you get that look. So, what is it? I bet I know the answer.”

He looked down at his hands. “I’m trying to figure out what this means,” he admitted, and he thumped his fist into his open palm. “The king...uh, Dad does it a lot. Especially before audience hours. I just...is it some spell, or something?” It didn’t feel magical, and he was quite sure he would be able to tell, but maybe he had missed something.

“Oh! No, no, that’s an Achaka salute.”

“A...a what? Ah—chaka?”

“You’ve been here for weeks and you haven’t heard that story yet? Dad’s slipping. Here, let me introduce you.” She went to the entrance hall, Alexander lagging behind her a few paces. “This,” she said, gesturing widely, “is Achaka.”

Alexander looked around, but the only person here was Royal Guard Number Two standing post by the door, and Alexander was quite sure his name was Matt. Not that he was supposed to call the royal guards by their real names. Rosella had told him everyone’s names but had also mentioned that No1 was pretty big on formal protocol, which made Alexander immediately want to forget them so he couldn’t make a mistake. Regardless. Not Achaka. He looked again, and then realized. “The statue?”

“Well, the real Achaka died ages ago. Waaay back when Dad first came to Daventry. They met, and Achaka helped him get through the Knight Tournament that Dad needed to win if he wanted a chance at being king. So, they were looking for an eye, ‘cos Number One said they had to have one for their entrance tickets, and Achaka hadn’t come back to turn his in, and there was this dragon, and...” she stopped, and looked at the statue. “This is a boring way to tell the story. Dad does it so much better.”

“Pardon me, Princess Rosella,” No2 said, leaning forward. “I think I know a better way to tell it.”

Ten minutes later, Rosella, Alexander, and No2 were tearing the sitting room apart, putting cushions here and there to represent different cave entrances, building up a little maze of small spaces, all the while explaining the backstory of what was going on to Alexander. Rosella handed him a decorative bowl and said, “This can be a glowing mushroom, so you can put that wherever you want.”

Royal Guard Number One said from the door, “What are you doing?” Alexander froze, almost dropping the bowl in his sudden nervousness.

“Oh! Number One!” Rosella clapped her hands. “Excellent! Will you help us?”

No1 stared at the mountain of pillows they’d stacked precariously by the window. It was teetering madly, and looked like breathing on it wrong would knock the whole thing over. “Help?”

No2 got to his feet. He’d been tying curtain pulls together to make one long cord. “We need you to be Achaka,” he said.

“...I’m sorry, I must repeat myself. What are you doing?”

“Reenacting the dragon attack for Prince Alexander. We wanted to explain what an Achaka salute was, and this is a better way of doing it, we thought. More...emotional.” No2 surveyed the pillow pile, and then began climbing.

“Indeed. And you want me to play...”

No2 swayed to keep his balance while tying the rope he’d made to the top of the window frame. “Achaka, yeah. You don’t have to say anything, or really do much. Except maybe you can say ‘Achaka’ if you really want to get into it. Otherwise, you can just stand there looking stern. Pretend to shoot an arrow. That’s probably about it for the most part.”

“Right. And who are you playing in this...?”

“Young Graham, of course.” No2 slid down the pillow mountain. “For my bubbly and likeable personality and terrific bouts of energy.”

“I’m the dragon,” Rosella interjected.

“Of course you are,” No1 said.

“Raaar.” She made a face and held her fingers up like claws, then broke down giggling, enjoying herself tremendously.

No2 clasped his gauntlets together and made a pleading sort of noise. “Please, Number One, it’s for the young prince’s sake. We wouldn’t ask you otherwise.”

“Yes, Number Two, you would. And have. And I refused last time, too.”

“Yeah, but this time it’s for a good cause.”

“The radish eating contest opening ceremony was ‘for a good cause,’ too,” he said, sharply.

“It was, though.”

“Please, Number One,” Rosella added, putting on her brightest diplomatic smile.

Alexander fidgeted with the bowl behind them, watching. There was no way. He’d seen how No1 acted around the other guards. Seen how stiff and stern he was, how dry and sarcastic and...

About ten minutes later, King Graham walked past the room. He froze mid step, then walked backward past the door again, staring at the bizarre tableau in the sitting room. No1 was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed, looking like he was regretting every single decision he’d ever made in his life, while Rosella clung to his leg, pretending to bite it. No2 was running across the room holding onto a curtain rope as though he was swinging on it, and Alexander was supervising the whole thing from a pile of cushions in the corner, an audience of one.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah, Your Majesty. This...” No1 glanced at the disarray, at the princess clawing at his boot, and said, dry as bone in an unquestionable tone, “Training. We’re trying out a new form of training.”

“Rosella, is that your mother’s green eye makeup all over your cheeks?”

“No, of course not. It’s the lighting in here, it’s very dim,” Rosella said, from around No1’s leg. The room was perfectly lit with that bright, cold, sunshine-on-snow white light, what with the curtains held open with cushions. The curtain ties were all clutched in No2’s hands, a single long cord that looked like a vine in his hands. Or an escape rope.

Graham took a second look, and then dawning realization crossed his face. He grinned. “So, I’m going to guess Number Two is me?”

“Got it in one, Sire,” No2 said cheerfully. “On account of my bubbly and likeable personality and terrific bouts of energy.” (No1 couldn’t quite stop his exasperated sigh.)

“Naturally. I wouldn’t expect anyone else.” Graham looked at Alexander. “Does this...performance make any sense?”

“Um.”

“I think you need a narrator to actually explain what you’re doing to your audience,” Graham said to the three actors. “Shall we take it from the top?” He smiled. “Let me tell you a story. A story about what it means to be brave even when you don’t think you can be, even when you’re facing the biggest threat imaginable. Ready?”

~*~*~*~

A castle couldn’t be stuffy. It was huge, with spiraling passages and enormous rooms and high ceilings. It was full of the hustle and bustle of people, but it was easy enough to find quiet little corners and stay away from everyone.

But Alexander still felt hemmed in. As the weeks turned to months, as the calendar spun deeper into winter, it started feeling even more claustrophobic, somehow. Surrounded by choking tapestries and detailed paintings of people he didn’t know and endless rows of doors lining labyrinthian hallways. The walks with the king helped him feel less trapped, but he started slipping out by himself whenever he could. It was weird to have the freedom to go wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. No one ever stopped him or demanded to know what he was doing. No one ever watched him.

Except...someone was watching him now. He felt the familiar prickle on the back of his neck, a sense he’d refined over the years living with...that wizard. He pushed down the forest path a little faster, trying to act uncaring like he figured a prince probably should be. Most of the trails were too snowed under to walk, but someone had been keeping this one fairly clear—he realized he was about to find out who.

“Your form is all wrong,” a voice called out.

Alexander skidded to a stop, slipping in the snow. “I’m...sorry?”

“You’ll never manage to get to a decently paced jog with that sort of biscuit placement. You’ll trip over your toes. You must build up to the more intensive leg days, but if you haven’t got a good form, you’re defeating yourself.”

It was a booming, boisterous, braggy sort of voice. Alexander nervously stepped back a pace. “Have we met?”

“Surely you haven’t forgotten Whisper!” The voice was offended now.

“Oh. Oh!” Usually, Alexander had the shield of the king or his sister to hide behind when one of the Daventry citizens approached. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now, by himself, without their cues. “Sorry. Whisper. Of course.” He clamped his mouth shut again, afraid he was going to do something wrong.

The knight was leaning against a directional signpost. “This is Whisper’s jogging trail,” the knight said, thumbing at the well-trodden path. He had earmuffs on over his helmet, which seemed entirely to defeat the purpose of earmuffs. “Whisper is more than happy to share the traffic, but only if the traffic stays in the correct lane. You aren’t ready for the fast track yet, Prince Alexander. Not with that mediocre run.”

“Oh, please, not...not Prince. I’m just…just Alexander. And I wasn’t actually running,” Alexander said warily. “I was only walking. I can, um. Walk somewhere else, though. Good...good day?” He tried a nervous little half bow and started to creep down the path.

“Aaah, wait, wait, wait!” Whisper said, standing in Alexander’s way. “Come now, if you have forgotten Whisper, then that simply isn’t good! We have yet to exchange tales of bravery, because had you heard such a tale then you could not have forgotten me!”

“I don’t have any tales of bravery, though,” Alexander said, sidestepping into the snow. “It’s, uh, good to see you again, Whisper. I’ll just...”

“But your tale is the bravest of them all,” Whisper said, and now he seemed confused. “Isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Grand escapes, magic, dragons—”

“—there wasn’t actually a dragon. I don’t know why everyone keeps thinking there was a dragon.”

“Oh. But. Dragons add such a spice to a story. Perhaps we should add one.”

“I’d rather not.”

“I can help you pen your tale, if needed,” Whisper offered. “Whisper is good at adding outlandish details that grab your audience’s attention and whirl them through the tale!” He leapt from place to place as he spoke, making elaborate hand gestures, and then added, much more quietly, “Even if the tale isn’t strictly true.”

“I’d really rather not,” Alexander repeated. “Thank you, but another time.”

“Whisper shall be here! Whisper is always here! Unless Whisper is with Amaya, and then Whisper is in town. With Amaya. You understand, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Have you met the beautiful lady Amaya?” Whisper asked, fully distracted and starting up the conversation again as though they hadn’t just been moving through the niceties of farewell. “She is most delicate. The sweetest flower, the fluffiest cloud, the tallest peak, to be adored. The finest, most talented, most clever lady in all the lands! Her stories shall be trumpeted from the mountaintops! By yours truly, of course,” he added, pointing to himself so hard that his thumb bounced off his chest plate with a metallic ringing sound.

“Delicate,” Alexander repeated, wondering if he was thinking of someone else. Maybe there were two Amayas in town. The one he had briefly met could hammer together an iron gate without breaking a sweat. But maybe there were different types of delicate?

“I shall expect you to carry on her tale as well,” Whisper said earnestly. “A tale must be retold by many to become a legend, and once it is a legend, then it creates immortals, and my dear Amaya shall indeed be an immortal legend! Like me. But first you must hear the stories, since you have not lived them with us. And then we shall work on your own tale.”

Expectations. Stories. Things he didn’t know.

He thought about the story the king had told about Achaka. What that story had meant. Daventry, as far as Alexander could tell, thrived on the power of tales, perhaps in part because of its leader and his delight with words. But Alexander didn’t know any of the stories himself, and he didn’t want to tell the one that he had survived.

The problem was that everyone knew each other so well already. He felt like an intruder crashing in on a story in the third act, an audience member trying to fill in the gaps of a play after they’d missed most of it.  

No one had said anything to him about it yet, but he had felt a weight of expectation settling on his shoulders the moment he’d woken up in that sickbed with his family hovering over him. His family that, incidentally, happened to be royalty. He was heir to a throne he hadn’t even known about until a few months ago. Daventry had been a name written on a map in the wizard’s office with throwing darts embedded in it, and that was about it.

Until now.

Now, he could sense the confidence from its people that he would learn the stories and tend to it, like King Graham did now. That Alexander would continue his father’s legacy. His story.

He had gone outside of the castle to get away from the sense of being tied down, from the tapestries and the paintings and the weight of hundreds of years of leadership. All the stories, endless and complicated and wrapped together and important to its people.

But the expectation of stories had followed him out here, too. Whisper was certain Alexander would listen and understand. The knight was watching him with a puppy’s eagerness, excited to explain why he loved the blacksmith so much, another story to Daventry’s history, another tale that Alexander should already know. That he would have known, if he hadn’t been in Llewdor, been a different person.

There was guilt, and frustration, and a desire to know, all shoved into a box in his mind that he dared not open.

Alexander could probably understand these people and their needs, but Gwydion definitely couldn’t. He didn’t know any good tales. He wasn’t good at playing games. He wasn’t even coordinated, apparently, as Whisper had pointed out. And he was terrified everyone was going to find out that he wasn’t a prince, wasn’t even “just” Alexander, that he was still Gwydion.

After hearing Graham’s story about Achaka, Alexander had gone to the tallest tower he could find in the castle. Standing there, alone, looking out at the snow-covered country, thinking of the expectations that were starting to press on his shoulders, he had tried out the salute. It hadn’t felt like anything at all. It had felt pointless. Graham had said it was supposed to help center you and help you find courage, but he still felt lost and afraid.

If he’d been Prince Alexander, someone who belonged there, maybe things would be different. But Gwydion didn’t deserve the salute. Didn’t deserve to be in Daventry.

Still.

Whisper wanted to tell him a story right now. And enough stories, enough knowledge, could change things. He had taught himself magic and escaped the wizard’s manor. Maybe more stories about Daventry would help him escape Gwydion. And, cautiously, he nodded. He let Whisper tell him another story, and he listened, and he learned.

~*~*~*~

Gwendolyn lifted her head. “Grandpa? Did Dad really say all that?”

Graham smiled. “Later, he did mention some conversation with Whisper, and the general gist of it. I confess, I wasn’t there. Storyteller’s discretion, you know.” He sipped a glass of water and waited for her to continue. She had a look on her face that said she was possibly finally ready to explain what had been bothering her earlier.

“It’s just.” She had been sitting on the bed, holding the canopy’s bedpost and running her fingers along the carvings as she listened, but now she slipped down, wandering toward the fireplace. “It’s just. That’s. Kinda what Gart said to me.”

“What did he say?”

“That I don’t belong here.” She sank into the rocking chair and started kicking herself back and forth, back and forth, while Graham blinked, at a complete loss for words for the first time that night. “He said...that I shouldn’t be too comfortable, that I’d be going back to the Green Isles with Dad again soon. I don’t think he meant to be mean about it. I think. I don’t know what I think. I don’t think he likes me in Daventry very much.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Graham said, after a pause. There was anger in his voice, a sharpness that felt too cold for the storytime bedroom.

“Please, don’t!” Gwendolyn said, looking up quickly. “I don’t want him to know that I took it wrong. It was probably just nothing. Just talking.”

Just shouting, if I remember correctly, Graham thought.

“I do belong in the Green Isles, though, he’s right.” She drew her legs up onto the chair, squeezing herself into a little ball, and dropped her head onto her knees again, staring at the floor.

“You belong wherever you want to be, my dear,” Graham said, gently. He cursed his weak knees and broken arm and inability to rise and go to her, like he would have gone to her father. “It can be here, there, or anywhere. We Crackers are pretty good at figuring out who we are and going where we’re needed.”

She hesitated. Then, clearly wanting to go back to the story and stop talking about personal things, she said, “So...what happened after that?”

Graham distractedly pushed away thoughts of his grandson and spread his arms (arm, singular, the other being broken) wide, and said, “The snow kept on falling.” And the story continued.

~*~*~*~

“I don’t understand this,” Valanice sighed, standing by the bedroom window and rubbing her arms through her night robe.

As the days faded and weeks stretched, the blanket of snow grew yet deeper. The trolls were making good on their promise to keep the main roads clear, but it was like walking through gray tunnels to get anywhere. Graham felt like his castle tower was an island above puffy clouds. This reminded him of the tower he’d been trapped in with Valanice and...well, Valanice, the two princesses who shared the same name. The day the tower had walked through a cloud and soaked them all had been quite an experience, leaving all three spluttering and shivering and laughing. He missed the warmth of those spring days.

“Maybe the villagers should all come here,” he said, wrapping his arm around her and squeezing her close in front of him, his chin resting on her shoulder as he studied the white expanse. The clouds had broken and the sun was peeking over the horizon, making the whole thing blindingly glittery. But rather than feel cheered by it, Graham felt apprehension in his stomach. The clouds would roll in again, as they had for days. This wouldn’t even begin to melt before another layer would come down. “I don’t want anyone to get snowed in to the point where they can’t take care of themselves.”

“I’m not sure they’ll agree to that,” Valanice said. “That feels like giving up.”

“It’s weather. There’s nothing to fight, and the only puzzle is how we shore up our own supplies,” Graham pointed out. He reached toward the window panes with his free hand, feeling the icy chill against his skin.

“They won’t feel that way, and you know it.”

“Soon, though, I might have to make that decision for them.”

“At least the goblins can’t strike in this,” she said, sighing. “Their escape tunnels are probably all plugged up with snow.”

“Small blessings,” Graham said, and kissed her cheek.

It had been cold (of course it had been, it was winter), but Graham's breath caught as soon as he stepped outside. The chill was so much more than expected, a bone deep ache. Despite the weak sunlight, the cold sank into his chest and made him want to cough. His breath appeared as dragon-smoke, white bellows preceding his every step. He tugged a scarf over his nose, which helped a little bit, and went to find No1.

More than the cold, more than the daily snow: the silence unnerved him most. Graham felt the stillness like a blanket around his ears. The recent threat of goblins had roused up old nightmares, and the silence of his beloved kingdom, normally so crowded with birdsong, squirrel chatter, music, life, even in winter—it reminded him of his goblin cell. Of the shadows and the stillness. Of the fear that laced his every echoing step. Of impossibilities and distress.

Valanice was right: so far, the only good result from this weather was a lack of goblins. There hadn’t been any signs of attack since the missing winter clothes and ice picks. Which meant that Graham hadn’t needed to travel down those tunnels to see the goblin king. At least, not yet. Should another instance happen, Graham knew he would have to set that appointment, and the very idea made his throat threaten to close. But he would do it, if he needed to.

Stars, I hope I don’t need to.

“Report, Number One?” Graham said, once he’d found the guard huddled over a cup of tea near the drawbridge. His mittened hands clutched the mug like someone was trying to take it from him, and he was curled over it to hold in every trace of warmth. His earmuffs were slipping.

“Not much to report, Sire. Just snow. Incredibly unexpected and surprising, I’m sure.” No1 sighed, his breath mingling with the steam of his tea and creating a white cloud that instantly froze in his mustache. “I rather think—” He cut himself off and saluted stiffly, “Sir, apologies, the cold makes me forget myself. I was thinking aloud.”

“Feels like?” Graham pressed. No1’s intuition was always sharp and frequently accurate.

“It’s nonsense, hardly worth the effort of saying it. And yet. It feels like something’s coming, Your Majesty. There’s a center to this storm, and it’s getting closer. Which is ridiculous, and I’ll thank you for not repeating it. The sort of fanciful thinking one of the younger staff might have. Who ever heard of menacing weather?”

“Stranger things have probably happened,” Graham said. “I wonder...”

“It’s colder today than it was yesterday. And there’s more snow than there was the day before. Keeping this only between us, Sire, it’s keeping me awake at night wondering if maybe I’m right.”

“You know, I really, really hope you aren’t,” Graham said, and the two men stared out across the snow hiding everything as far as the eye could see.

[wfdwqfw]

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[shikai-the-storyteller]

WFC: Siege watch!

Part 1: Episodes 1, 2, and 3

[Part 2] (Linking because Tumblr isn’t even showing the post on my blog or on my dash 🙄)

As a side note: every single person in this fandom is horrible at tagging their spoilers, you guys really need to do a better job at that because I’ve got a bunch of blockers on and I was STILL almost spoiled multiple times. Come on you guys...it literally came out today, be better about this.

Alright going to try and keep expectations low because I feel like the target audience for this is G1 dudebros who take a series about transforming cars way too seriously, but I’m still cautiously optimistic because a friend vetted for the dudes working on this show so WE”LL SEE

Episode 1

Aw man there’s only 6 episodes??? Bummer, I wonder if they’re already working on Season 2 or if they’re going to see how this does and let it die in the water if it’s not popular enough.

Things I know going in: Skyfire / Jetfire is in this, Megatron has big lips, and Elita is in it. That’s literally it, I’ve managed to avoid spoilers thusfar (though a few of the promo images implied Skyfire’s a Decepticon, so you KNOW that’s gonna break bad eventually)

WHEELJACK Wednesday THURSDAY

OH MYG OSH IS THAT SKYWARP??? EXPECTATIONS ARE NOW SKY-HIGH

The transformation sequences look so reminiscent of those stop-motion videos people do of their Transformer toys transforming. This isn’t a dig at the animation style, I think that’s rather charming and I wonder if it’s intentional.

Wow Bumblebee sounds like a jerk. I’m instantly on-edge, please don’t make all the characters ~hyper-masculine mean guys who don’t know how to have fun or talk about their emotions~

“The Autobots aint paying you for attitude” YOU TELL HIM WHEELJACK

Yooo Velocitron exists!

Ahh so Bumblebee IS just a mercenary, not an Autobot

OHOHO HERE”S JETFIRE

Wow Jetfire you’re really going the bad dude route huh

Ayyyyyy there’s Starscream

YOOO THERE”S THUNDERCRACKER

Thundercracker I appreciate that you’re using fancy tech to identify wheeljack but his Autobot badge is literally Right There

WTF

WELL THAT DIDN”T LAST LONG HUH...that’s a bit disappointing

OH NVM THAT WASN”T A HEEL-TURN THAT WAS JUST A STRAIGHT UP “I”M THE BOSS” MOVE

huh so they’re making Skyfire the target of Starscream’s desire for power. hmm

WHY ARE YOU GUYS RUNNING JUST TRANSFORM INTO CARS unless they’re too low on energon to do it??

There he is...Mr. Big Lips

Well that’s a surprising take Megatron

Isn’t that Cybertron and Luna 1 in the sky though?? Are they on Cybertron rn or not??

Megatron’s voice is really throwing me off, if it weren’t for his helmet and color I’d really think that was Overlord

ITS TRUCK DAD

OHOHO HE SAID THE THING!!!!

Why does bumblebee have lips too

“What do you know of slavery?” Alright that line did make me go “OHHHH”

“Alpha Trion would be ashamed!” “Of us both, I think” ouch, but nice to see Alpha “Grandpa” Trion back in a series

Megatron PLEASE don’t say “I’m enjoying this, Prime” in that voice while I can hear Optimus groaning in the background

AYYY ELITAAAAAA

Why are the Seekers chasing these guys, who are running on foot, ON FOOT??? CHANGE INTO YOUR DANG ALT MODE

WHEELJACK SWORE

man I’m only like a few minutes in and I’m already bored. I’m going to watch the whole thing, but I feel like this is really lacking soul or personality so far. It very much feels like the script was written by people who aren’t familiar with these characters, so they’re writing them how they EXPECT them to sound, not writing them as they actually are. It’s more than a little disappointing, but this is only the first episode, so I’ll keep going and see if this is consistent throughout the series.

Oh man, just listening to Elita you can tell she was written by a dude. Oof.

There’s the Ark!

Dang everyone’s running low

Jeez Optimus and Elita wouldn’t just walk by all these injured Autobots!

And Optimus wouldn’t brush off his officers!! Agh!!!

YO Ultra Magnus!

Chromia!!!!!

oh my gosh is THAT Red Alert??

Hey where’s Ratchet though

Gosh the writing is so STIFF!!!! I can’t stand this, if I wasn’t a die-hard Transformers fan I would’ve bounced a few minutes ago

 It might also be the way the VAs pause between words, please speak normally, these constant pauses between words are frustrating

Ok but where the frick is Soundwave

“His arrogance I actually like” pfft

Annnnd here comes Ultra Magnus to accept the treaty on Prime’s behalf, where he’ll get held hostage and probably wind up beefing it.

Episode 2

SOUNDWAVE!!!! BABY

And Shockwave!!! 

YO SKYWARP ACTUALLY GOT A SPEAKING LINE

I want to know where Megatron got all this fabric for those stupid flags and where Ultra magnus got that cloak

Is. Is that Prowl with a weird paint job

Wow bad aim dude

Ultra Magnus you dummy....

Ok but if it was a battle then who were they fighting against???

Wow you’re really just gonna stand there and take that Magnus?

I know they’re on a time-crunch because they only have 6 episodes, but they have to do more to make me care about the characters. I’m inclined to care about them already because I’m familiar with the series and because as a stand-alone, even I’m like “Ok. So?” whenever new problems come up for them. I’m not invested!

Not to compare the two, because I feel like this entire liveblog will turn into a comparative essay, but Cyberverse got me invested in characters within the first episode! They were on an even TIGHTER time-crunch because their episodes were only 10 minutes, and yet they did a great job weaving a tight narrative and making good use of their time to tell a story and have characters charm the audience.

Optimus: Til All Are One Rodimus, coming out of nowhere: TIL ALL ARE ONE

WELL THAT”S NOT THE VOICE I WAS EXPECTING FOR SHOCKWAVE he sounds a bit reminiscent of his TFA version

What does de-rez mean

Ok but that’s assuming that this thing will automatically reprogram them?? Reformatting doesn’t automatically mean someone will turn into a Decepticon!

You know, there’s a lot of talking in the show but the dialogue doesn’t actually say a lot. It doesn’t reveal much about the characters or tell me who they are.

YOOO THERE”S SOUNDWAVE

AUDIO BOOB

It really annoys me that characters always pause after saying “I”. It’s always “I.........[long pause] rest of their sentence.”

what do you mean “Teams” Optimus there’s like 5 of you guys

I love you Soundwave!!!

Whoa wait was that Impactor in the background?

ughHHHHHH I HATE THAT MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS “what have you done?” SAID UTTERLY MONOTONE WHEN IT’S NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL!!! YOU CAN”T FLIP THAT LINE OUT WITHOUT ACTUALLY PUTTING IN THE FOOTWORK TO EARN IT!!! AGH!!!

Again, it feels very much like the writers read the wikipedia page for Transformers and maybe the first sentence of each character’s bio page and then wrote the entire script from there. It’s frustrating. I hate being so severe in my reviews because I hate dunking on my fellow writers because they don’t always have final say in what happens, but this is astonishingly poor writing.

Like, I can see what they’re TRYING to accomplish, but it feels like they whiff so badly.

YO IT IS IMPACTOR

oh thats Barricade that’s why I thought that was Prowl

Chromia!!!! My darling!!!! I can’t believe there’s only two girls in this show so far

Oh that’s Cog, I wasn’t sure if that was Beachcomber or what

Nice one Chromia

Oh is that Mirage?

Ugh ANOTHER WRITING PET PEEVE: Constantly having characters start to say something but then then their dialogue gets cut off. It’s fine if it’s once in a while but over and over it’s annoying

I also feel like a lot of the VAs lack...emotion. They don’t emphasize the lines. Like, “Get him into the repair bay” is one example. Depending on how you emphasize certain words in that sentence, you can infer a lot! Emotion, the state of mind of the character, etc. But when it’s delivered in such a bland way, it’s a bit like “ok whatever”, which is how I’m starting to feel about this whole show. This doesn’t go for all the VAs or all lines, but it’s consistent enough that my mind’s wandering.

RAVAGE??? RAVAGE???? RAVAGE?!?!?!??!?!

It was probably Bumblebee.

Not to be nitpicky but it should be “Neither we nor the Autobots”

The idea of reformatting is so stupid!!! It implies that Autobots and Decepticons are inherently different, which is stupid!! It’s so dumb WHY DO YOU GOTTA GO THAT ROUTE IT”S SO STUPID (ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY”RE TACKLING THE TOPIC OF OPPRESSION??? THEY”RE SAYING THEY”RE LITERALLY DIFFERENT SPECIES AND USING IT AS A PLATFORM TO SAY ONE GROUP IS INHERENTLY BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THAT SUCKS)

Episode 3

RATCHET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao love your lipgloss Megatron

Ohh is Ratchet going to fix Impactor??

PROWL??? HE”S SO SHORT

Gosh please, please don’t have humans in this show

lmao Skyfire called Starscream a tool

RATCHET!!! :D

I’d like to see who was on the writing team of this show

Isn’t that Mirage?

YEAH THAT IS MIRAGE

Again with the sentences consistently being cut off....

Is that Sunstorm?

Points to Chromia and Mirage for showing the first bitof personality in this show.

Yooo Ratchet! Oof he’s not chummy with Prime huh

YOO CAMINUS EXISTS TOO

LMAO FEISTY GRANDPA

Oh Mirage come on

Actually no, don’t shut Impactor up he’s right

“I didn’t patch you up just so you could blow a valve here” *snorts*

Wouldn’t it be frickin hilarious if Magnus just popped open a panel and Minimus came out and just dipped outta there

lmao nice lightsaber Jetfire

LMAO “PULL THE TRIGGER MAGNUS”

JEEZ JUST PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE WHY DON”T YOU 

Ratchet is the ONLY character they’ve given personality in this show so far.

Jeez Mirage cool your jets

Oh for frick’s sake Optimus be cool

Megatron please stop torturing your ex boyfriend

Ok but who did they rise against??? Were there Quintessons in this universe too?

oh come on you guys

Oh boy something tells me Skywarp isn’t going to survive the rest of this episode

Oh jk, Skyfire just let him go. Well alrighty then

I’m not sure how they found the Autobot base, they implied that it was because of Impactor but that doesn’t make sense

This post is getting long so I’m going to spit it between two posts

[penniesforthestorm]

Twin Peaks Recap, Special Edition: “...Fire Walk With Me“

Greetings, friends, and welcome to a special one-off edition of my ongoing Twin Peaks recaps. This will cover the events of the 1992 film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, in its original theatrical cut. I wrote two pages’ worth of notes for this; I’m not going to copy everything here because, even though this is largely a self-indulgent project, I do want to make it at least somewhat intelligible. For those who haven’t been following along, here’s a link to my recaps for Season 2 of the original series. I will be continuing in the same format for The Return. I’m not overly concerned with “solving” anything, necessarily, but there are certain patterns I want to follow, and one or two theories I’m developing, which should play out over the course of all of this. I’ll place a general spoiler warning here-- if you’re new to the series, I highly, highly recommend watching Seasons 1 & 2 of the show first, with Fire Walk With Me serving as a bridge between those and The Return. I think that covers it; now, to the business at hand...

Part One: “Are you talking about that little girl who got murdered?”

-The film opens with a TV set falling to the floor and breaking- this calls to mind the mysterious ‘black box’ in The Return

-Gordon Cole calls FBI Agents Chet Desmond (Chris Isaak) and Sam Stanley (Kiefer Sutherland) to Deer Meadow, Oregon, to investigate the murder of Teresa Banks, and via the coded instructions of Lil the Dancer, we learn that they won’t have much help once they get there. Unlike the relative efficiency and civic-mindedness of the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department, the Deer Meadow office is under an almost impenetrable malaise- the deputy, the receptionist, & the sheriff all being in cahoots.

-Desmond & Stanley conduct Teresa’s autopsy themselves, discovering her now-missing ring and the scrap of paper under her fingernail. Off to Hap’s Diner, again, a kind of “dark mirror” to the cozy RR. In the entryway, under a flashing striplight, we can see the figures of two Woodsmen. They do get a few answers about Teresa- she had a cocaine habit, and before her death, complained of numbness in her left arm.

-Off to the Fat Trout Trailer Park, with its exasperated owner Carl Rodd (Harry Dean Stanton, my one true love). He shows them Teresa’s trailer, seeming more nervous and upset by the minute. “I’ve already gone places. I just wanna stay where I am.” Later, Desmond returns, and finds Teresa’s ring under her trailer. He reaches for it, and disappears.

Part Two: “We’re not gonna talk about Judy at all.”

-At the FBI office in Philadelphia, it’s 10:10 a.m. on February 16th, and Special Agent Dale Cooper is worried. “It’s about that dream I had,” he explains to Gordon.

-Enter Philip Jeffries (David Bowie), an agent who has been MIA for some time. He indicates Cooper- “Who do you think this is, there?” and we are taken into a vision: a room “above the store” populated by familiar figures-- old Mrs. Tremond and her grandson, the Man from Another Place, Mike, the Woodsmen, and BOB. Then, we see the red-curtained “waiting room” of the Black Lodge. Somehow, Jeffries passed through both of these places. He, too, vanishes.

-Cole sends Coop to Deer Meadow, to track down the missing Agent Desmond. Cooper has a bit of an easier time with Carl-- he knows how to appreciate a cup of “Good mornin’ America”. They find Desmond’s car, with “Let’s Rock” scrawled on the windshield. Coop is curious about a nearby empty lot-- “An old woman and her grandson,” Carl tells him. “Chalfont.” (Side note: for a while, there was a band in my hometown called The Chalfonts; I didn’t know the reference then, but I wish I had.)

-And with that, suddenly, we’re in Twin Peaks, WA, one year later, and somehow, in this part of the Pacific Northwest in the middle of February, the deciduous trees have all their leaves and the grass is green...

-Donna Heyward is played here by Moira Kelly, replacing Lara Flynn Boyle. She does a great job, and is arguably more believable as a high-school student, but I kinda miss Boyle’s icy edge. I do love the way she talks about James Hurley, wistfully saying how true his love for Laura is...

-Key moments: 1) Laura giving the diary, and trying to explain BOB, to poor Harold Smith, who isn’t equipped to handle any of this. 2) Cooper, in conversation with Albert Rosenfield, theorizing that Teresa Banks’ killer will strike again, and describing his next potential victim in ways that parallel Laura’s situation. (Albert: “You’re describing half the teenage girls in America.”) 3) Laura meeting Mrs. Tremond/Chalfont and her grandson, which leads her to the discovery that BOB is possessing her father Leland.

Part Three: “The football is empty.”

-Laura’s dream: On the table in the Red Room, she sees Teresa Banks’ jade ring. The Man from Another Place is there, and so is Agent Cooper. Coop warns her, “Don’t take the ring, Laura.” Then she finds herself back in her own bed, with Annie Blackburn laying next to her, covered in blood but alive. Annie explains that “the good Dale” is trapped in the Lodge, telling Laura to write it in her diary. Just before Laura wakes up, she sees herself in the doorway of the room “above the store”, shown in the photograph Mrs. Tremond gave her.

-Bobby Briggs sets up his next score, calling Leo Johnson and Jacques Renault.

-Laura is off to drown her sorrows at the Roadhouse/Bang Bang Bar, where she meets the Log Lady. (I love that Margaret is apparently a regular at the Roadhouse.) Log Lady places her hand on Laura’s forehead, and tells her: “When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out. The tender boughs of innocence burn first, and the wind rises, and then all goodness is in jeopardy.” Inside, Laura weeps as Julee Cruise sings.

-Donna, angry at being shut out, has followed her here. I noticed, standing next to her at the bar, James Hurley’s biker friend Joey Paulsen, who makes a few appearances in the series.

-Jacques Renault sends two punters to Laura’s table, and Donna follows. Laura tries to get rid of her, but then lets her join in. All four, plus Jacques, leave the Roadhouse for a place across the Canadian border. Ronette Pulaski is here, and the link is established between Laura, Ronette, and Teresa Banks. Ronette laughingly points out poor Donna, who has picked up Laura’s jacket, laying over a table as one of Laura’s “customers” has his way with her. Laura immediately rushes to her rescue, screaming, “Don’t ever wear my stuff!” (If only Donna had stayed with the nice biker boy...) As they leave, there is a shot of cigarette butts and empty bottles piled all over the floor.

Part Four: “You always hurt the ones you love.”

-Leland picks Laura up from Donna’s house, and Mike the One-Armed Man nearly crashes into their car on the highway, shouting at Laura. On his hand is the jade ring. Leland flashes back to his meetings with Teresa Banks, his discovery that Laura and Ronette were her ‘friends’, and his subsequent slaying of Teresa.

-Bobby and Laura, drunk and high in the woods, are met by none other than the deputy from Deer Meadow. He reaches into his jacket and Bobby panics and shoots him. Laura, completely out of it, keeps repeating, “You killed Mike!”

-That night, Sarah Palmer has a vision of a white horse. She knows something is wrong, but she has been powerless to stop it.

-At school, Laura is utterly miserable; by the end of the afternoon, she is sobbing quietly at her desk. When she gets up to leave, the camera lingers on the empty seat.

-That night, James takes Laura into the woods. She tries to push him away, to break everything off, but he keeps coming back. This is the heart of it: Laura believes that she is evil, that she is unworthy of love, but James, solid-gold sweet James, loves her anyway, even as he watches her run away into the trees.

-A few notable things about the final sequence: Leo refusing to untie either girl as he leaves; the One-Armed Man prowling around the train car; and Ronette Pulaski seeing the vision of the angel from the painting in Laura’s room. Also interesting in that it’s much more “abstract” than, for example, Maddy Ferguson’s murder in S2:E8. I’m not sure which is worse.

-And we end with Laura in the Lodge, in her beautiful black gown, with Agent Dale Cooper comforting her as the angel hovers above. Sheryl Lee’s face is absolutely heartbreaking--’ecstasy’ not in the popular sense of ‘extreme happiness’, but actual catharsis, as she passes from one world to the next.

[pastiche-comic]

Fun and Entertainment

By Keith W. Horowitz

Cheesy brochures tout Indisclosednia as a perpetual party and adventure archipelago on the South Pacific. “Fun” is something almost synonymous with this sunny slice of paradise. If it sounds touristy, it’s because it is. Tourism’s the country’s biggest industry, and it shows: the crowds swell at tourist season in summer.

There is a kernel of truth in the stereotype. Given half the chance, locals really can be as laid-back and leisurely as the brochures suggest.

Seasonal fun

The seasons, however, play a role in exactly how we spend our leisure time.

For most of the southern summer, we keep ourselves entertained in indoor venues with air conditioning. We leave the mostly outdoor tourist destinations to the tourists on holiday. And while it’s true that we tend to pass on the tourist spots for most of the summer (we couldn’t if we wanted to), we don’t live our lives around a holiday spot without getting in on the action.

The end of the tourist season means that we’ve the resorts and destinations mostly to ourselves. To cope with the decline in business, venues start offering local discounts aplenty.

However, we’re left with the small window for summertime fun before monsoon season. The afternoon showers can quickly put the kibosh on any fun outdoor activity after 3 o’clock. The cool season is often sunny enough that many people schedule outdoor activities early in the day.

Indoors

Summer is the season where we go indoors. Shopaholics prowl the malls. Adolescents and children flock to the gaming arcades. Gamers host LAN parties in Internet cafes. Middle-aged adults hold bowling tournaments. Groups of friends take pot-shots of each other at karaoke night. Basically, if it’s air conditioned and weather-protected, we will be there.

People also start flocking to indoor venues every afternoon during the cool season when the rain starts to fall at around 4 P.M.

We don’t have the indoors to ourselves, though. Casinos are some of the indoor places where the crowds are just as likely to be a mix of locals and tourists. Fiscal irresponsibility knows no borders.

In the Water

The water’s great when the sun’s out and we’re never short of things to do in the water. Many Indisclosedneans are fond of water sports, among them parasailing, jet skiing, and kitesurfing. Even locals would often brave the summer heat for a chance to book a rental at peak season. Surfing is a perennial pastime and the presence of the surf community might explain the strong association with the 1990s.

There are also plenty of spectacular snorkelling and scuba diving spots off the coast and away from the cities, including the reefs around the atolls and the shallow sandy seagrass beds in the north lagoon.

Swimming is one activity enjoyed year-round in the country, but again there’s a huge contrast between the locals and the tourists at summertime. Tourists tend to flock to the pools and the beach at peak season, whereas locals huddle in covered community pools. Water parks are a perennial favourite among young people.

Outdoor Relaxation

Like the travelogue says, there’s a multitude of things you can do here for leisure on a warm day.  And this includes “doing nothing.”

Tourists on holiday get lots of R&R, usually while lounging in a poolside beach chair with a tropical drink on hand as tourists normally do. Locals with decks, hammocks, and some culinary skill are usually more than happy to recreate this experience at home—a “staycation” that feels more real than most.

There’s a multitude of nightlife partying in the beaches of East Baywood. Most dance clubs and venues are outdoors; most indoor clubs are the domain of the country’s small rave scene, though they predictably fill up quickly during the cool season. (Heh.)

Sports

Sports are a popular diversion for people of all ages in this country. At heart, Indisclosednia’s a soccer playing nation and few other team sports are anywhere near as prominent. These other sports of note are basketball and beach volleyball.

Golf is more popular among retirees and businesspeople. The country only has one major golf course, the John Olmstead Executive Golf Club.

Adrenaline junkies also get their fix further inland. Thrill-seeking activities like bungee jumping and ziplining are common in the foothills on the outskirts of Baywood. The country has a flourishing extreme sports community that is especially prominent in Baywood, which has a designated skate park, and has left a mark that’s more than just another snide “Heh, ‘90s” comment. Adolescent skaters and cyclists are a common sight in the city in the mid-afternoon.

(Heh. ‘90s.)

Prominent sporting events include the Academy Association Football Cup, the Baywood Beach Volleyball Cup, the extreme-sports oriented Spectrum Games, and the Olmstead Founders Golf Tournament.  

Back to Nature

Much of the country’s natural beauty has been preserved, so nature lovers have a lot to do. Birdwatchers have a plethora of opportunities to look for birds in the mountain rainforests and on the coasts. Hikers can traverse the challenging trail at Mount Balder.

And if you like marine mammals but aren’t keen on the prospect of whale watching in the open sea, there’s a sea lion colony just outside Hoonoisweir; if you’re lucky, you may be able to spot Rascal, a rescued sea lion and the country’s unofficial conservation mascot.

Fishing is a popular activity, and anglers can be seen prowling the lagoons, estuaries, and the open sea for their catch. Many sport fish—marlin, especially—are seasonal and any caught out of season are strictly for catch-and-release; endangered species are strictly for catch and release only. 

[true-halloween-tales]

2018: #2-GUIDE TO DOCTOR WHO

Previously, cult horror-related tv series such as The Night Stalker, Dark Shadows, and the Outer Limits have been examined. Even though Doctor Who is primarily a science fiction tv series, over its 55 year history it has delved into horror many times. After Darren McGavin’s The Night Stalker series was cancelled in 1975, I sadly still tuned in at the same day and time in case it ever came back (see 2015: #5-GUIDE TO THE NIGHT STALKER). Weepers! Eventually it was recommended to me to watch this Doctor Who show, but I was not interested in another Marcus Welby, MD series at age 6. I tuned in anyways to find an argumentative older man yelling at people, and I soon became bored and quit watching the series. However, I was encouraged to persist and watch further episodes, so I did. One twenty-two minute episode was shown a day. A few episodes later and the older argumentative man was now in an apocalyptic world with people devolving into monstrous green werewolves! It was terrifying! I was hooked!

Doctor Who was scheduled to premier on November 22, 1963, but it was delayed until the following day due to the assassination of President Kennedy. It features an alien, a Timelord, who can change its body, and currently the Doctor’s latest body is female as played by Jodie Whitaker, with her debut episode appearing for the first time this Sunday afternoon! This alien serves often as the savior of the Earth as well as the closest the universe has to being a good, near-godlike force. The original series ran from 1963-1989 featuring the Doctors’s first seven bodies or “regenerations.” In 1996 Doctor Who returned in a U.S. production with a new regeneration of both the Doctor and his primary villain, the Master. In 2005 the new series continued with a new regeneration, but in later seasons it is revealed that one regeneration was skipped between the tv movie and the new series. This regeneration, technically the ninth, played by John Hurt, renamed himself the War Doctor. The new series has also featured the Eleventh Doctor, played by David Tennant, who consumed a regeneration to heal himself, and eventually the Doctor used all of his thirteen regenerations. But he got more, and he even doesn’t know how many.

There are a variety of rare facts about Doctor Who. A spacesuit costume from the series was reused in the Empire Strikes Back and worn by the scaly bounty hunter, Bossk. Peter Cushing starred as Doctor Who in two movies in the 1960’s (see 2018: #1-GREAT HORROR FILM ACTORS). The two color movies are remakes of popular televised stories featuring the evil alien race, the Daleks. One of the films, 1966’s Dalek’s Invasion Earth 2150 AD, included British comedian Bernard Cribbins as a police officer, and he joined the tv series in 2007 as another character. The movies differed from the tv series by Cushing portraying the character as a human, not an alien. There is an original pilot of the series from 1963 that had a significant scene removed from the first story, An Unearthly Child. The First Doctor, portrayed by William Hartnell, shares that he and his granddaughter are from the year 5,000 and may be humans. By cutting that from the final broadcast, it made alien bodily regeneration a much more plausible concept. The Doctor also is not always the benevolent good guy. In An Unearthly Child, the Doctor prepares to cut the throat of an unconscious caveman because he is annoyed and wants to leave prehistoric Earth. In Doctor Who canon, there is still at loose a future evil incarnation of the Doctor, once known as the Valeyard. Big Finish has dozens of the continued audio adventures of previous regenerations of the Doctor including many of the surviving actors who played the Doctor as well as supporting cast members.

There is much written about Doctor Who, but for the purposes of Halloween we are primarily interested in horror episodes as well as potential crazy costumes that could be made based on aliens in the series. If you have a spare plunger and a box, you can make a Dalek costume. Dressing as one of the regenerations of the Doctor is easy if you have any of the specific costume elements. The easiest is probably to dress as the Third Doctor with a velvet smoking jacket. A lot depends upon if you require your costume to be widely recognizable to not. Don’t dress as the Doctor’s time and space vehicle, a blue police box, the Tardis; that is stupid. The three best aliens to create costumes for include: Alpha Centauri, appearing as a green, hermaphroditic, one-eyed Beholder from Dungeons & Dragons with a high pitched voice (see 2015: #3-STRANGE MONSTERS FROM DUNGEONS & DRAGONS). Alpha Centauri is one of the few characters from the original series that have reappeared in the new series. Another amusing costume option is the Face of Boe, a large sleepy head resembling a Japanese Nuppeppo yokai (see 2018: #10-YOKAI). Or perhaps an alien from the planet Vortis which are large, vaguely humanoid insects, such as the Menoptra bee/butterfly people. Doctor Who is a series that offers cosplayers a huge amount of possible costumes as well. The series is a wealth of creativity.

Doctor Who has a lot of episodes, and out of the entire series, here are the ten best horror-related stories:

10-The Chase: features the First Doctor encountering Dracula and the Frankenstein monster.

9-The Unquiet Dead: Christopher Eccelston, technically the Tenth Doctor, finds zombies and dead ghost-like aliens possessing bodies.

8-The Pyramids of Mars: the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker, has major problems with an Egyptian god and his mummy servants.

7-The Brain of Morbius: Baker’s Frankenstein episode, but featuring a Hitler-like Timelord trying to be more than just a brain in a jar.

6-Midnight: Tennant in a tense, claustrophobic episode about a telepathic thing outside of a stalled tour bus on a deadly planet.

5-State of Decay: Baker versus a giant vampire, the ancient enemy of the Timelords, on a planet ruled by vampires.

4-The Daemons: The Third Doctor, Jon Pertwee, dealing with a giant horned demon running across the English countryside, summoned up by a satanic cult led by The Master.

3-The Impossible Planet / The Satan Pit: Tennant discovers the physical, Godzilla-sized body of the Devil himself, a being from the universe that existed before this one.

2-The Seeds of Doom: Baker meets The Thing, including in a polar setting.

1-Inferno: Pertwee popped into a parallel world and is faced with a dreadful apocalypse with the planet rapidly being destroyed, people devolving into green werewolves, the world is ending and there is nothing he can do. This scared the crap out of me when I was six years old. The episode set a Guinness Book of Worlds Record for the longest drop by a stuntman. It is also one of the longest complete stories.

There are many other Halloween-worthy episodes of Doctor Who. The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances are two very popular episodes with Eccleston in WW2 investigating very creepy unexplained phenomenon, and he also meets John Barrowman’s very popular assistant, Captain Jack, in that story. The Caves of the Androzani is an acclaimed Phantom of the Opera story with the Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison. Werewolves appeared in Tennant’s second story, Tooth and Claw. An infamous mummy appeared in Mummy on a Train with the Thirteenth Doctor, Peter Capaldi. Many of Patrick Troughton’s episodes, who is the Second Doctor, are lost and missing. But there is surviving footage of his stories versus the Abominable Snowmen, who were quite frightening skulking about in the London sewers. A prehistoric lizardman species is discovered on Earth in Pertwee’s The Silurians, and an aquatic version of the species is encountered in Pertwee’s The Sea Devils, one of my all-time favorite stories of the series. The Master as virtually an undead lich appears in Baker’s The Deadly Assassin (see 2013: #10-LICHES). Baker’s The Horror of Fang Rock flows just like a horror film, with people barricaded in a lighthouse to escape a prowling monster. The largest monster that has appeared in the series was a tentacled, Lovecraftian swamp monster the size of a city in Baker’s The Power of Kroll. Doctor Who tends to be at its best when delving into horror.

There are some noteworthy Doctor Who stories that were planned or written, but they were not made. The adventures that almost happened! Pertwee’s Third Doctor was planned to start the tenth season with “Deathworld.” It was about the President of the Timelords basically playing chess with Death, and he summoned up the first three Doctors to be pawns in his game. The Doctors were to materialize in the Underworld to face the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as well as personification of the Seven Deadly Sins. Content from the plot seems to have drifted into the stories: The Three Doctors and The Five Doctors. Pertwee’s final story had to be changed because the actor portraying the First Master, Roger Delgado, was killed in a car accident. “The Final Game” was planned to reveal that the Doctor and the Master just were not brothers, but they were the same person – divided into two halves – with the Doctor effectively being a Freudian ego and the Master as the id. Both the Master and the Doctor were planned to die in “The Final Game.” The Master was going to permanently die saving the Doctor, yet the Doctor would regenerate. There was also a second U.S. tv movie planned with McGann’s Eighth Doctor which would have included a major redesign of the Daleks. A third Peter Cushing film was planned but cancelled, Daleks vs. Mechons, based on the story, The Chase.

I have attended some science fiction conventions and have had correspondences with some of the stars of the series. I met Pertwee several times, including once with Elizabeth Sladden, aka the assistant, Sarah Jane Smith, at the Granada Theatre in Chicago in 1989. I met and chatted with Tom Baker who is really tall, about the various death scenes he had in various roles. But I spent an entire morning with Peter Davison, Sandra Dickinson, his then wife who appeared in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, and the series producer, John Nathan Turner, wearing a bad Hawaiian shirt. We all sat together with less than ten others and watched Davison’s excellent Cyberman story, Earthshock, more than a year before it aired in the United States. There is nothing better than sitting next to the lead actor in Doctor Who and watching them star in the series in a great story. I had correspondence with the Sixth Doctor, Collin Baker, who wrote me that he was not sure how much longer the BBC would keep him in the role, and he was fired shortly later. I also ran into the enigmatic Seventh Doctor, Sylvester McCoy at a bar the night before a convention. I was sitting with the stars of the cult British science fiction series, Blakes 7 including Gareth Thomas, Paul Darrow, and Brian Blessed (see 2011: #7-SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTIONS). Over the shoulder of Gareth Thomas could be seen Sylvester McCoy sitting at the bar by himself, silently and sadly meditating on his ale. I had correspondence with another Master, Anthony Ainley, one of my favorite actors in Doctor Who, and he wrote back to me on his wonderful Master stationery.

Doctor Who offers a wealth of treasures for Halloween. If not costume ideas, then sheer entertainment. I am very much looking forward to the new season starting this weekend. Not only has the lead actor changed but so has the entire production team, sets, producers, etc. I was totally turned off by the previous Steven Moffat production team, so I am looking forward to the new Chris Chibnall team. It’s one of the only series that regularly reinvents itself, and few series exceed being fifty years old. Just about anything goes in Doctor Who, from very odd aliens to all sorts of monsters – even McCoy’s Seventh Doctor encounters a dragon in one story (on Monday see 2018: #3-DRAGONS)…

[silkygoldmilkweed]

SanSan Is Everything and Everything Is SanSan, 3/?

Previous installments: THE BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR (Season 3) | THE RED WOMAN (Season 6)

Basically any episode that has even the slightest connection to a SanSan moment or a big Sansa or Sandor character shift is littered with other scenes and scenarios that relate to love, marriage, warrior of light, hearts of fire and their arcs through the series. Episode four of season two, “Garden of Bones,” is no exception.

"Garden of Bones” is known among SanSan fans as the episode where the Hound cloaks Sansa in the Red Keep. 

But that’s later. Let’s start with House Stark on the battlefield.

Our story begins with a couple of unremarkable Lannister soldiers on watch at night in the rain doing what ASOIAF/GOT fans do online all day everyday: Debate who is the best fighter in the story.

Lannister #1: Well it’s got to be the Mountain. He’s the biggest, the strongest. Lannister #2: Bulls are bigger than lions. Doesn’t mean I’d pick a bull in a fight. Lannister #1: Well if the bull had claws and fangs I would. All right. The Mountain. Our man Jaime.

[Editorial interruption: The Hound is basically a bull with claws and fangs. He’s that big and aggressive and he’s got sharp weapons.]

Lannister #2: If he ever gets out. Loras Tyrell? Lannister #1: Loras Tyrell! He’s prettier than the queen. Lannister #2: I don’t care about pretty. He’s better with a sword than any of them. Lannister #1: How good could he be? He’s been stabbing Renly Baratheon for years, and Renly ain’t dead.

Just another reminder that the sword is the cock and the cock is the sword. George and Shakespeare looooove their sex jokes. But don’t we all?

Enter the wolves.

Grey Wind and Robb Stark were the best and I miss them. (ROBB STARK DID NOTHING WRONG!)

We aren’t shown the battle but we are shown that nice jokey Lannister soldier with his intestines hanging out. The wolves disemboweled him.

What happens two episodes later when someone attacks Sansa? The Hound makes a point to disembowel her primary attacker in the course of killing him. It’s not just a death, the method of the death a statement. He will tear you apart. (Insert quotes from the Ramsay storyline about what hounds do to a body.)

And then in the aftermath of the battle, Robb and Talisa meet for the first time. And what does Robb, the Young Wolf, find attractive about this strange girl from Volantis? The woman is covered in blood and ichor and fierce enough to take off someone’s leg without flinching. The blood is sexually enticing for the Young Wolf.

This is not a mistake. This is a setup for, again, two episodes later, the Hound uses his teeth and his claws, and it’s a turn-on for Sansa, although she hardly knows bloodlust yet herself. But the fact that he’s covered in blood constantly when they are alone together is a big deal. Her still-repressed wolf self sniffs the air and likes the scent of blood.

(Their first meeting at the Inn at the Crossroads was basically him smelling her, as dogs do when they meet on the road. And later he tells the Brotherhood that he “never smelled” the Targaryen babes. And Ser Alliser once said to Jon, “Blood will always tell.” We’re merely mammals, after all.)

Anyway, this whole season is about Sansa and the Hound imprinting on each other, both sexually and emotionally. And then the feelings not only endure all the years through, but grow.

Back in King’s Landing, Joffrey is being a cunt. Lancel delivers a battle report: “Using some vile sorcery, your brother fell on Stafford Lannister with an army of wolves. Thousands of good men were butchered. After the slaughter, the Northmen feasted on the flesh of the slain.”

The language here is really important because Lancel is spreading propaganda, but it’s also correct. The Starks are wolves. The warging is real. There is sorcery afoot, but not the way the Lannisters think or most people understand.

I’m not even going to address the cloaking scene, because if you’re reading the SanSan tag, you got it already.

I’ll just point out that Sansa looks like a queen and/or a bride in that filthy cloak.

Next is the famous “there’s no cure for being a cunt” exchange and Tyrion decides to send some prostitutes to Joffrey. This is a disaster, of course.

Who escorts the prostitutes to Joffrey’s room? The Hound.

Here’s Joffrey pointing that crossbow at more defenseless girls.

And then when the abuse begins and Ros tries to de-escalate by saying Tyrion won’t like it if he hears, Joffrey says, “Oh, I want him to find out. You will bring her to his chambers when you’re finished, and show him what you’ve done, or the same thing will happen to you. Begin.”

The scene ends there, but let’s presume that the king’s commands are carried out. Ros savages the other prostitute with that antler-head baton. She’s bruised and bloodied. Joffrey gets off or doesn’t or whatever. Then Joffrey throws them out.

We don’t know if the Hound is still outside, but I personally got the impression that he was charged with chaperoning the whores to and from Joffrey’s chambers. I think it is at least somewhat likely that Joffrey flings open the door, says, “Dog, take these two women to my uncle and show him what I think of his meddling.”

I think this scene is structured as it is to establish that the Hound is being made aware of Joffrey’s sexuality expressing itself as abuse. He enjoys pain. It’s Joff’s kink. There will be no mercy for Sansa is she marries him. She will be destroyed, slowly and painfully.

If I’m Sandor Clegane, I realize that Tyrion has gravely miscalculated. Whereas Joffrey previously got off shooting birds and cats, he’s not found a new quarry: women. Sansa Stark is marginally under the Queen and Tyrion’s protection until Jaime Lannister is recovered. But if that falls apart or something changes or she is actually married off to Joffrey, she will be eaten alive by the lions. There is nothing anyone can do to protect the King’s own bride, cf Aerys and Rhaella.

Except the Hound is starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, he is Sansa’s best chance. If he doesn’t do something, who else will?

Sidebar: In season three, much is made of the Brotherhood stealing the Hound’s gold. They give him an IOU. He’s enraged but there’s nothing he can do about it. My question is this: If the Hound fled King’s Landing almost on a whim the night of Stannis’ attack, whhhhhhyyyy was he carrying gold? We do not know how much it was, but it’s enough that he’s livid about losing it. So...maybe more than pocket change? So...maybe as early as this point in the story, he’s starting to formulate a plan to free Sansa Stark? Like maybe he has money and supplies packed, and he is ready to go at a moment’s notice? But then he gets so fucked up and scared and angry and drunk and consumed with lust and rage and jealousy the night of the battle that he completely fucks it up and she rejects him and then he’s off to drink for weeks straight to drown out the little bird’s voice in his head?

IDK IDK, just spitballing here.

Cut to the Stormlands. Renly tells Littlefinger that true knight Brienne’s loyalty “comes without charge,” unlike Littlefinger only thinks about money and is a whore monger and a money lender, etc.

There’s some business in re the War of the Five Kings, but then Littlefinger starts prowling and catches up to Margery Tyrell, and he’s nasty about the Marge-Renly-Loras threesome.

“Your marriage is quite interesting, not only to me, but to the realm. The marriage of a wealthy girl always breeds interest--if nothing else.”

OK, this is one of those amazing lines they bury in weird camera angles and low tones. The marriage of a wealthy girl always breeds interest--if nothing else. First of all, the double entendre about money/interest, and then the use of the word “breeds” and the implication that Marge’s marriage to Renly is unlikely to produce heirs. Clever indeed, Littlefinger.

Long story short, the marriage of a wealthy girl named Sansa Stark is a plot for the next five seasons. Joffrey, Tyrion, Loras Tyrell, Ramsay, Littlefinger, the list goes on and on. They only want her for her claim and her name and the Northern tax base.

Anyway, Marge has no trouble handing the likes of Littlefinger.

Marge: You’ve never married, have you? Littlefinger: I’ve been unlucky in my affections.

No one loves you, asshole, and you’ll never get anywhere near the highborn ladies you want, and you’re disgusting. (I hate him sooo much guys.)

Marge: That is sad. Although perhaps it’s for the best. The whole notion of marriage seems to confuse you. So allow me to explain. My husband is my king, and my king is my husband.

[screams] [screams again] This, in the episode where the Hound cloaks Sansa in front of the gods and the crown, is a hell of a line.

Because the reverse is true.

“My wife is my queen, and my queen is my wife.” Sansa may never be the queen, as Marge says at another point, but if she is a wife, a good man’s wife, she is a queen. Robb says something similar to Talisa in season three. Also, man’s home is his castle. (“Do you want to go home?”)

And then Littlefinger finds Catelyn Stark and goes to work on her. Note: Every word Lord Baelish speaks in this scene is a manipulative lie or totally delusional. After you read this, watch the scene where Sansa and Arya execute him years later. It’s the only correct palate cleanser after this filth.

Catelyn: How dare you? Littlefinger: You may have heard false reports. Catelyn: You betrayed Ned. Littlefinger: Betrayed? I wanted him to serve as Protector of the Realm. I begged him to seize the moment. Catelyn: I trusted you. My husband trusted you. And you repaid our faith with treachery. Get out! [faith is such a religious word and there’s a lot of talk of priestesses hereabouts.] Littlefinger: I’ve loved you since I was a boy. It seems to me that...fate has given us this chance. Catelyn: Have you lost your mind? Get out! Littlefinger: Do you want to see your girls again? Sansa, more beautiful than ever. And Arya, just as wild as ever? Catelyn: You have Arya too? Littlefinger: Both girls are healthy and safe, for now. But you know the Queen, and you know Joffrey. I fear for their longevity if they remain in the capital. Catelyn: What do you want? Littlefinger: The Lannisters will trade your daughters for the Kingslayer. Catelyn: Of course they will. Jaime Lannister for two girls. Robb will never agree to those terms. [Girls are worthless in this market exchange?] Littlefinger: I’m not bringing them to him. I’m bringing them to you. Catelyn: You think I keep secrets from my son. Littlefinger: Robb has surprised them all with his skills in battle. But he’s not a mother. Consider it, Cat? You may not get another chance. I’ve brought you a gift. Catelyn: I don’t want your gifts. [It’s not hunting if you pay for it; loyalty and love cannot be bought for any amount of gold.] Littlefinger: A token of Tyrion Lannister’s goodwill. He wants you to understand that this exchange of prisoners is offered in good faith. Catelyn: Good faith? Littlefinger: Your husband was an honorable man. He should rest beside his family in the crypts at Winterfell. You may not believe-- Catelyn: Get out.

Catelyn says “Get out” to Littlefinger not once, not twice, but three times in one scene. She pulls a knife on him and he sees very clearly that she is a wolf’s bride and she will use it on him. That’s when he plays on her position as a mother and brings up Arya and Sansa. This is a SanSan-oriented post so if we look at this in light of the notion that Littlefinger is the anti-Sandor (as explored in depth in my post Petyr Baelish vs Sandor Clegane: A Tale of Two Suitors), this is even more interesting. Littlefinger claims “fate has offered us a second chance” but (1) Catelyn has never expressed the slightest reciprocal interest in him over decades, (2) it wasn’t fate, you intentionally killed her husband and the father of her children and started a war or two so you could try to fuck her. Like, what?

Littlefinger reruns this entire script with Sansa over the next several seasons, but she, too, is not having it. Littlefinger isn’t in their league. He’s dirt.

Finally, I’ll note that this scene, with Cat and her red hair, is shot so that it has a very red, fire-lit look. Mumble *red woman* *kissed by fire* mumble.

“Joffrey...Cersei...Ilyn Payne...the Hound.” Baby Arya is out here at Harrenhal suffering atrocities. It’s a concentration camp. 

And then we move on to more War of the Five Kings business. 

Renly: Why is your stag on fire? Melisandre: The King has taken for his sigil the fiery heart of the Lord of Light.

Hearts of fire. Hearts on fire. Kissed by fire.

Then Renly calls Mel a “fire priestess,” and I realize it’s interesting that if I’m right about ice and fire, she really should be an ice priestess, because it’s the Hero with the heart of fire, not his wife.

“You never wanted any friends, brother, but a man without friends is a man without power.”

Interesting to contrast this with “You’ve got friends, Clegane?” “Not anymore.” Is this still the case circa season eight? Sandor Clegane doesn’t want to be king. He doesn’t want power. And Jon has many allies and friends. This where George was very clever to conflate the hero and king plots to confuse us. He can illustrate the king through the hero business and visa versa. I do think that by season eight Sandor will have friends, but again, it’s less of an issue because this dialogue is about being a king, not about being the savior.

I’ll also just note here, since the topic is allies, that in addition to Jon Snow having a stronger claim than Dany, just by patrilineal primogeniture, he also has Sansa and Arya, who are blood-kin to the Lords Paramount of the Riverlands and the Vale. The “good” Lannisters are even tied to Sansa by marriage (Tyrion) and fealty (Brienne brings Jaime to the party), and Baratheon bastard Gendry has a distant tie to the Stormlands and is connected to Arya. Pondering, pondering.

“I’ll even name you my heir, until a son is born to me.” I quote this just because it reiterates the obsession with sons and legacy. It’s also foreshadowing that Stannis’ shadow son kills Renly; typical kinslaying over moneys and titles, with a blood-magic twist.

But it’s also important that not one of the Baratheons were able to produce a true-born son to carry on the family legacy. That’s crucial in this world.

Look at this gorgeous image of Dany in the Red Waste, under the Red Comet, IIRC. This is Dany at one of her lowest points, begging for shelter, begging food and water for her people. The Beggar Queen is a survivor, because she always believed in Daenerys Targaryen. Love her.

And then back to the Red Keep.

Lancel: Your own father, Lord Tywin, when I was named the King’s squire, he told me to obey her in everything! Tyrion: Did he tell you to fuck her, too? Lancel: I only meant, I did as I was bid. Tyrion: Hated every moment of it, is that what you’ll have me believe? A high place in court, a knighthood, my sister’s legs spreading open for you at night. Oh yes, it must have been terrible.

Tyrion gets Lancel to inform on Cersei for him. But what bothers me about this exchange is “I did as I was bid,” which is too close for my liking to “It’s not my place to question princes.” Anyone in similar circumstances might have been similarly rewarded with “a high place in court” (like on the Kingsguard?!?) and Cersei’s spread legs. Then Tyrion says, “My sister is a beautiful woman. And it’s all for the good of the realm.”

Most men might tell themselves the same thing. Sure she’s an evil bitch, but she’s a beautiful woman and you are serving the crown.

Ugh. I! Have! Concerns! (I truly hope that I’m wrong that Cersei x Sandor is a thing, but I do suspect that was the second forging of the “sword” Lightbringer. He was trying to find his place/home/family/cause but of course the lions were wrong in every way so the sword/his heart broke.)

And last but not least, noted crazy person Melisandre is up to no good.

“I’m a knight of sorts, myself; a champion of light and life.” Mmmmkay.

As I look at this, an odd line echoes in my head. It’s something Lysa says to Sansa later, when she’s at the Vale. Lysa tells Sansa, “I am telling you all this so you will understand how much we love each other, how long we have suffered and dreamed of one another. We made a baby together, a precious little baby.”

I think that given Sansa’s character arc, dropping the word dreams is not a mistake. I think George is doing his usual thing of hiding his positive, unironic assertions about what’s good in the speeches of bad characters.

Also, being able to make baby boys is a big deal on the show. Carice later tells Stannis they can’t make another one because it would kill him. “The seed is strong.” “...always he found the gold yielding before the coal.” There’s more to come on this front in the story, but anytime fecundity and virility come up so explicitly, we best pay attention.

Anyway, kudos to Carice for making her labor noises sound supersexual. I’m sure it was on purpose and it’s right on target for all the themes of the series.

So, in conclusion, this is the episode where Sansa and Sandor get married but neither of them know it yet, although the fate of the whole realm depends on their love and the eventual consummation of the marriage, which at this point is a marriage in the eyes of the gods but not yet a marriage under the law of the land.

Plus without the fucking, there can be no new life. Here’s to a dream of spring. Cheers gang.

[verdigrisprowl]

July 6 Bevel’s Movie Night - Star Trek TNG: The Best Of Both Worlds

Prowl spent the entire show with his avatar on autopilot so that in his other body he could grab at his own neck and quietly panic without anybody seeing.

Bevel *She's been so busy lately that it's taken ages to finally get the time to actually have one of these nights again. But it does mean she has more Starfleet records to share finally* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave tromps in and immediately pulls a tarp out of subspace as he drops onto his usual couch. Over his frame it goes.* VProwl *appears, looks around for a seat—immediately focuses on Soundwave's tarp.* @S «Are you cold?» Bevel Hey, Soundwave. Hey, Prowl. ((gonna get started in a short bit if anyone need food or whatever Ratchet *pops in* Bevel Hi, Ratchet! Ratchet Heya, Bevel! *aaand head count. 1, 2, 3, how many of Soundwave's kids are about?* VProwl ((gonna grab a food real quick)) ItsyBitsySpyers @P: [[No, he simply felt like being comfortable. There are fewer mechs here than at his own, and he doubts Ratchet is going to do something with the sight.]] *The only one of Soundwave's 'kids' around tonight is Chimera, who is stretched across the back of his couch as a snake.* Bevel *speaking of Chimera, Bevel wiggles her fingers happily at them and whispers* Hi~ Ratchet *okay, so 3. Chimera doesn't get one of these treats. the good news is, that means Ratchet has enough for two for everyone else!* Ratchet *or extras for soundwave to take home for the older kids, however you wanna look at it. they're the treats from Groove that did not get shared on Monday. last Monday, maybe.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Chimera picks up their head and beams a weird open-mouthed smile at Bevel. She's always so nice to them.* Bevel *grins back* Do you mind being pet tonight, Chimera? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave nods at Ratchet over the tarp and stretches his legs. Ah. Toasty and cozy. The way every head of intelligence should be.* VProwl (( back )) Ratchet Evening, Soundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers ((i was trying to figure out what you were telling us to put back)) VProwl ((rabbit is2g when i say "back" in parentheses that doesn't mean i want an emoji)) ItsyBitsySpyers <<Chimera does not mind. Can Chimera sit with the Prime creation?>> VProwl *... sits on ratchet's couch* *now that he knows soundwave isn't sick.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Is in no way surprised by that.* Bevel Yeah! Any time you want. *she's gonna sit down on the floor like she usually does* Ratchet *grins and nudges Prowl* Heya! VProwl *starts at the nudge* ... Hello. Ratchet I got some of Groove's FUN goodies, if you want one. For later. You can take stuff home, right? Bevel Oh! Oh! This is Starfleet stuff about the Borg again. Not nice stuff either. ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave turns and nods at Chimera. Go on.*

*They'll slither down, over, and pop apart in front of Bevel.*

*They'll also stay scattered on the floor for a few seconds longer than normal while deciding what form to take. Looks like a bird tonight.* [[...Ah.]] VProwl ... Oh. Bevel ((Warnings: Brainwashing, needles kinda, 90s television, death, violence, and all the stuff that comes with the Borg being the Borg VProwl *dammit. if he'd known before he'd come...* @Ratchet «... You've been here before on Borg nights, haven't you?» *no no wait no wait we're starting already prowl didn't have time to brace himself* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave makes a note to himself: make DAMN SURE there's no rough content for his next night.* Bevel *she watches Chimera transform with unrestrained interest. once they've decided on something and settled, she pets them* Ratchet @Prowl ::Yeah, I have. Are you gonna be alright?:: VProwl @Ratchet «I was just double-checking to make sure you knew what to prepare for.» ItsyBitsySpyers *Pings Prowl. He'll let Prowl decide how to answer it, if he does at all.* VProwl *casually doesn't answer the question* Bevel *Bevel's slightly caught on that she should make sure to tell some folks about the Borg, but not exactly how bad a time they actually have dealing with them* Ratchet [[ i can't even remember if Ratchet sat through the whole Borg thing last time or if that was one he noped out on ]] VProwl *casually doesn't answer the ping, either* ItsyBitsySpyers *Chimera closes their optics and fluffs their wings. Pets. Attention. Very nice.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave takes the lack of response that Prowl does not need or want anything and simply wraps the tarp a little tighter. These horrible creatures again.* [[What was that about Groove, earlier?]] Bevel There are a lot of Starfleet records about the Borg. I found some about a ship called Voyager too. VProwl *oh, data playing cards* *can they have more of data playing cards?* *and less of the borg?* Bevel *Bevel has non-Borg Data episodes, hopefully there's Poker!* VProwl *THEN FOR GOODNESS SAKE WHY AREN'T WE WATCHING THOSE?* Bevel *...Because it's important to know thy enemy?* VProwl *............... IT'S HARD TO ARGUE WITH THAT REASONING* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He's gained sense.]] Ratchet Ah! I've got some of Groove's good stuff! Got enough for, uh, one for everyone if you wanna take some for the kids, Soundwave. Or two for everyone if we wanna make them miss out for not being here. 😉 ItsyBitsySpyers *Looks at Ratchet from one side of his visor. Turns his head and looks from the other side. Is this a trap.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[...Perhaps he should take some, yes. If Groove's]] [][][]good stuff[][][] [[is as good as that, his deployers will never forgive him for denying them.]] *And he can always have them scanned.* Ratchet *yeah, yeah. they're fine. just get Ravage to sniff them or something* Bevel Uh-oh. VProwl *momentarily pauses his avatar to conceal his shudder* Bevel *sits forward enraptured* VProwl *aaaaaand suppresses another shudder* *all those voices. so many trapped together.* ItsyBitsySpyers *It's rare that he doesn't like the sound of unified speaking voices. This is one of those exceptions.* VProwl ((that was such a dramatic roll, he could've just ducked under the door)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[...That move was completely unnecessary.]] Bevel But it looked cool. VProwl It looked unnecessary. ItsyBitsySpyers [[He is sure the security team in charge of cameras in that deck appreciated it. And then called it unnecessary.]] Bevel *giggles* ItsyBitsySpyers *Shakes his head.* [[They had best prepare fast. A failure to adapt is not one of their enemy's weaknesses.]] VProwl ... That's terrible encouragement. Bevel Really terrible. Maybe it helps her feel better about what happened with her people? VProwl *avatar freezes* Bevel *sorry, Prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers *Oh, Primus. It was the back of the head, too. That probably didn't go over well.* Bevel ((i love that painting so much, it's so creepy and awful ItsyBitsySpyers *Slight shiver. Suddenly extra satisfied with the presence of his tarp.* VProwl *he's going to leave his avatar in autopilot mode. just enough motion so that he doesn't look like a statue but it won't show him lacing his hands over the back of his neck* ((riker ur not doing it right you're supposed to say "make it so" after someone ELSE says something)) ItsyBitsySpyers [[A space bridge would be very useful right now.]] VProwl *... it's already too late for him, isn't it* *braces himself for it.* (("the bad news is, the captain is naked")) ItsyBitsySpyers [[...He wonders if the Borg are going to adapt to disallow transportation in and off ship.]] Bevel That would be really bad. Aw no! ItsyBitsySpyers *It's always worse seeing than hearing about it.* VProwl *still on autopilot* VProwl ((oh, NOW she's advocating caution)) ((i'm beginning to strongly suspect that she is not, in fact, an independent character with her own characterization, but a mere foil designed to pettily disagree with every decision riker makes)) Bevel ((and that is how they ended the season all those years back because they're rude af Ratchet [[ hgghgghghgggg "Number One" i physically shuddered no i hate this ]] Bevel ((I'm so sorry, Fabu 😔 VProwl *they're stealing his data, they're stealing his mind, using his knowledge against his own friends and allies—* Ratchet [[ i'm out i'm sorry i can't. too much borg. u all have a god night ilu <3 ]] ItsyBitsySpyers *Is getting worried, but... Prowl has the Constructicons there, and isn't glass, and can ping him if he needs something. Right? Messages from someone like him are probably not helpful right now.* VProwl *BUT AT LEAST THEY KNOW. Prowl can cling to that. At least they KNOW it's not him. They KNOW he would never do this. THEY KNOW.* ItsyBitsySpyers ((night fabu ;; )) Bevel ((It's ok <3 VProwl ((gnight)) VProwl *... somehow it's a great comfort to hear this admiral talking about picard like he's already dead.* *THERE IS A NEEDLE IN HIS HEAD prowl's out of his body it's hollow good bye he's not gonna be back for five minutes.* Bevel *Bevel would feel so terrible if she were in a position to notice Prowl's status* VProwl *Prowl would feel terrible if she WERE able to notice his status.* Bevel *then she'll remain oblivious and fully into the tragedy that's happening in these records* ItsyBitsySpyers [[Hm. This must be when the Sisko loses his conjunx.]] Bevel *glances at Soundwave and then back at the screen, even more tragedy, this is terrible* ItsyBitsySpyers *Bevel has no idea.* *Chimera flaps a little and settles into power reserve mode.* Bevel *pets Chimera gently* 😔 VProwl *it was a little longer than five minutes. Prowl's back. he doesn't regret missing all these ships getting wrecked.* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He wondered when they would.]] Bevel Noooooo. VProwl *oh no. not data. don't lose data too.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Please do not infect Data. He does not think Prowl could stand it. And he does not want to see it, himself.* VProwl *please not data* VProwl *Prowl's avatar is unchanged, but in his head his optics are glued to the screen. fight it, Picard.* ItsyBitsySpyers *Scoots forward on his seat.* Bevel *silently cheering Picard and Data on* ItsyBitsySpyers [[He hopes their presence does not wake them up.]] Bevel Picard! *whines happily* VProwl *that was completely awful.* Bevel *she's just glad Picard and Data are both ok* ItsyBitsySpyers *Gently falls back into the couch. So tense. And he's still so very, very concerned.* [[That was - most educational.]] Bevel I have other records too. For later. I think I want to show more of the funny cops again next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[And unsettling. May they all self-destruct and never reform.]]

[[Ah, good. He likes the Captain.]] VProwl /Please./ Bevel *nods enthusiastically* I will, promise! It will be a little bit though. I am gonna go get my Star Saber back so we have to miss next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[You /finally/ found it?]] VProwl *oh. the other show. no. nope. nope. no. prowl can take no more tonight.* *disappears* Bevel ((Ok, since I'm gonna show these for Fabu and Cro is exhausted and so am I tbh, let's just watch SU tomorrow? ItsyBitsySpyers (plz) Bevel I found it ages ago. I had to get ready though. I gotta fight some--*she definitely noticed Prowl left*--do you wanna check on Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers *Soundwave sits up.*

[[Why do you ask that?]] VProwl ((let's watch twice as much su)) Bevel ((You got it! Because he left and you two care about each other. *had her head in a space ship engine for the last several weeks, she might have missed the rumors going around* ItsyBitsySpyers *...Oh, right. She pretended to be him that time and...*

[[Ah. Yes. He should, then. But you will tell him about your plans soon. We should go over them.]] Bevel *and that time she heard them have a meaningful feelings conversation while they watched the Titanic sink...* ItsyBitsySpyers *Who taught her to spy so well? Did he have alternates at Axiom Nexus?* Bevel *he has many alternates in Axiom Nexus* Yeah sure! I wanted to have Prowl look at them but I think she would get mad since it's kinda stealing and... and stuff. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Yes. Best she doesn't know.]] Bevel *nods* ItsyBitsySpyers [[But he should go for now. If you'll pardon him?]] Bevel Ok! I hope Prowl is ok and I promise it will the funny cop documentaries next time. ItsyBitsySpyers [[Thank you. He looks forward to them.]] Bevel *pets Chimera one last time, expecting they'll leave with Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers *Surprise. Chimera is staying with Bevel for the night again.* Bevel *yay!* ItsyBitsySpyers *He nods, buzzes a quick set of rules to Chimera for the night, and - after folding and subspacing the tarp - heads out for one final check ping and a night's rest.* Bevel *hope Chimera likes watching someone build weapons because that's what's on her agenda for tonight*

[aion-rsa]

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News

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This The Simpsons review contains spoilers.

The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6

Without dipping into political waters, The Simpsons season 32, episode 6, “Podcast News,” rides the wave of fake news into a less likely swamp: True crime reporting, and the amateur sleuths who’ve gone pro broadcasting it. Not on broadcast stations, though, those are outdated, and rely on the painstaking drudgery of the finding of facts, which are terrible for ratings. The episode opens in a state of frantic paranoia, eschewing the couch gag entirely, which always bodes well.

It’s 2 a.m., time for Homer’s ham in the Springfield household, but unease is in every shadow. A wide-eyed Lisa is prowling the house looking terrified. “So many lies, so many lies,” she says, setting the tone for the entire episode. When Marge comments that Lisa looks tired, the girl adds to the suspense and confusion by revealing “Looks are deceiving. Nothing is as it seems.” These are all delicious clues, and while they seem to grow in the dire severity of Lisa’s situation, they are also like the string on a bow being drawn back on the arrow of a punchline. “Did they change climate change again,” Homer asks, but sadly, no, it’s still a horrid torrid zone of pain outside. Perfect for that 2 a.m. ham.

The Simpsons routinely open their episodes strong, but this is a particularly suspenseful one. Lisa compounds it by trying to confound her parents, which lets the show weigh in on ASMR. It works, the mere crinkle of paper sends Homer into a deep sleep. This also lets the audience know Lisa’s paranoia is coming from the internet, and not the usual suspect of social media. If that’s not enough, Marge notices the music coming out of Lisa’s buds is in a minor key. Marge’s connections of logic always come on a satisfyingly skewered path. Her conclusions may or may not be correct, but the journey through her thought process is always a worthy trek.

Lisa is exhibiting signs of true crime podcast addiction long before she confesses her need “to know who killed everybody.” The buildup is executed so well by the time she’s all murdered out, everyone watching is ready to go along for the ride-along. And with titles like “Murder Most Stabby” and “Killing Her Softly,” who could blame us? By morning, Marge is hooked. “We have much to discuss,” Lisa says, welcoming her to the genre’s dark web.

Marge and Lisa hysterically, on both senses of the word, capture the true crime obsession. Lines like “Drops of blood you can explain, but drops of brain?” and “How could a woman with four PhDs be so dumb?,” Simpsonized they may be, sound like the kinds of things people scream at their devices while watching these shows. Some people will look at a neck and wonder what ties goes on it, other people look at a neck and say I’d like to choke that.

Abe’s introduction is also a different twist on his usual character, and slightly unexpected. Homer is just finishing telling Bart about how lonely and boring grandpa is, when Abe proves him wrong.  Most of the audience knows the tie on the doorknob is a sign against intruders before Homer and Bart are averting their eyes from octogenarian canoodling behind it but it is worth the payoff.  “If the bolo is hanging, the dentures be clanging,” Abe’s explanation, is hackneyed but clever.

Morgan Fairchild is the perfect choice for Vivienne St. Charmaine, and the “Falcon Landing” title of the former superstar actress’ most famous show is a good play on Fairchild’s best-known nighttime soap. Vivienne, who is drawn to resemble Morgan, appears to really like Abe, and not just for his long and drawn out stories. She calls him her senile old sex machine, and says he’s so sweet he “should come with an insulin pump.” The episode also pokes at old people romance, suggesting a couples’ colonoscopy and a romantic dinner cruise make for a perfect evening. Lucky for the audience, it actually sets up an ideal scene for a crime which can pull the two narratives together.

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Abe becomes the subject of a slew of podcasts after Vivienne disappears with a splash. This isn’t the first time the weight of the media has settled on a member of the Simpson family. “Homer Badman,” from season 6, culminated in a mock TV-crime reenactment show called “Homer Simpsons: Portrait of an Ass Grabber,” when all he wanted was the prized Gummy de Milo candy stuck on a young woman’s jeans. We believed him then, thousands didn’t, but he is, after all, the kind of guy who falls asleep at the sound of crinkled paper. Abe doesn’t even need that. It makes sense he’s so suggestible he’d believe other people’s testimony over his own memories, just like he believes Shampoo Shuttle is the future of hair care. That and because he’s forgotten most of his memories along with his hair.

Chief Wiggum delivers a great deadpan saying how rude it is that Abe won’t confess. But the line about Springfield Police force’s Hand Push Test registering the result as “No Such Test” is the subtle winner. Also, his theory positing to “catch a murderer, you have to set them free to murder again” is both ridiculous, and frightening.

It is sad the only reason we know Grandpa didn’t do the actual murder is because he doesn’t have that kind of follow through. Homer starts off with disbelief, but only because fathom Abe ever being a person of interest, never, not once. But after he thinks about it, Homer begins to think his father is “capable of doing anything up to and including murder.” The podcasts are insidious, and their influence comes in very subliminally. Their force is almost portrayed as an unseen enemy.

It is very funny how Abe is convinced of his own guilt by episode 9 of Kent Brockman’s podcast “Guilty Grandpa,” although in episode 6, he thought it might have been a hot-headed deckhand. But it feels good to know he was actually more of a dupe than a criminal. If he was a better criminal, he would have remembered his crime at least. It is also very poignant when Abe says how he believes Vivienne is going to be the last love of his life

The reason “Podcast News” works has less to do with The Simpsons staying up to date with entertainment technology and more with what they are tackling. They have been hit and miss with some of their political humor, as the show’s been walking its own landmine between what pushes boundaries and what hits the wrong buttons, but they are always spot on with social commentary.

The kinds of paranoia which are so addictive in the true crime genre hook people from both sides of the scale. Yes, there is always good evidence ignored, and bad cops to ignore it. And, yes, hosts like Tabitha Shingle (Christine Nangle) are so dry the audience is constantly parched for any wet, bloody detail. But the episode is also a cautionary tale.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The nightly reports from anchors like Kent Brockman are becoming yesterday’s news. We get this inadvertently from Yeardley Smith, who plays herself as the host of the podcast “Smalltown Dicks” and nowhere else. They are very self-conscious about using her, and get in some self-referential wordplay, but her concerns are valid. The podcasts can tout doubt with statements like “90-year-old people don’t just stop breathing,” or use Abe’s World War II heroics, as Johnny Flamethrower who said the fires were telling him who to burn, against him.

Of course, everyone loves DNA swabs, and spatter analysis, but every quickie podcast dramatization starring Stellan Skarsgård is at the cost of “painstakingly accumulated uncertainties.” And with that, out-of-touch news anchors like Kent Brockman can bid farewell to relevancy. The episode also gets in a dig at NPR, which they say means No Possible Revenue.

“Podcast News,” named for the comedy drama Broadcast News, is a good parody of the podcast craze. In spite of its similarity to “Bad Homer,” the episode is very current, a little tricky, and comes at us from a different kind of angle. The Simpsons have given us stories about Abe’s shady pasts. He’s been around almost longer than anyone but Monty Burns, so he has a lot more past to shade. It’s to his credit, Abe can bear the weight of the blame, especially at his age. The most frightening concept of the episode, however, is the level of personal information can be gleaned from colonoscopy technology. Filled with singularly funny one liners, “Podcast News” manages to keep a sense of tension throughout, and ends on a satisfying morally ambiguous note.

The post The Simpsons Season 32 Episode 6 Review: Podcast News appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/32NsBjb

[stacks-reviews]

New Releases 10/17/17

Happy New Release Day! 

In Books --Nekogahara: Stray Cat Samurai Volume 3 by Hiroyuki Takei “Stray cat samurai Norachiyo wants nothing more than to leave his cruel past behind and live his nine lives in peace, but there are some cats he just can’t get off his tail. After joining forces with an unlikely duo—the son of a catnip drug lord and his fellow feline warrior-in-training—Norachiyo comes face-to-face with an old foe: Shiriya Abyhei, the malicious member of the secret police who’s been in pursuit of Norachiyo from the very start. Can the three samurai make it out with their tails intact, or is it purr-tains for them…?”

It is exactly what it sounds like: Samurai Cats. It is surprisingly violent. I enjoyed reading the first two volumes; though there was a moment in volume two that I wish I could forget and hope to never see again. But aside from that it feels like a cross between Lone Wolf and Cub and Samurai Champloo.

The main character is a stray who was once a ‘kept cat’ until the death of his master. All the characters are cats except for their masters who are referenced to as humans though no humans have yet to make an official appearance. And yes. There is much word play involved.

--Rat Queens Volume 4 by Kurtis J. Wiebe, illustrated by Owen Gieni “The Queens are back! Palisade is still a rat infested hell hole and the only hope of saving it are Violet, Hannah, Dee, Betty and the brand new Queen, Braga! It’s been a long time since they’ve done a good slaughter, so join them as they get back to the basics of killing monsters and drinking away the profits!”

The first full volume of the Rat Queens soft reboot with the new artist, Owen Gieni. The Rat Queens have returned to Palisade after the events in volume 3. There’s a new cult in town, Hannah’s father is currently crashing with the Queens and Violet’s brother stops in for a visit. 

I really enjoyed the new volume. If you haven’t checked out the series yet I would highly recommend you do. It’s a hilarious, violent, and just fantastic series.

--Tokyo Ghoul: re Volume 1 by Sui Ishida “The Commission of Counter Ghoul is the only organization fighting the Ghoul menace, and they will use every tool at their disposal to protect humanity from its ultimate predator. Their newest weapon in this hidden war is an experimental procedure that implants human investigators with a Ghoul’s Kagune, giving them Ghoul powers and abilities. But both the procedure and the newly formed Qs Squad are untested. Will they become heroes…or monsters?!

Haise Sasaki has been tasked with teaching Qs Squad how to be outstanding Investigators, but his assignment is complicated by the troublesome personalities of his subordinates and his own uncertain grasp of his Ghoul powers. Can he pull this ragtag group together as a team, or will Qs Squad’s first assignment be their last?”

The first volume of the second series and it’s a good start. I do have several questions which I’m sure will slowly be answered. Though right now I’m mainly wondering how much time has passed in the world. I’m guessing at least a few years. And what happened to everyone who was alive at the end of volume 14 of the first series. 

In Movies --Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Kiki’s Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro, and Ponyo. The first wave of the Studio Ghibli rereleases by GKids and Shout Factory. I’m pretty excited for these though I’m going to start with the ones I don’t own yet. In this wave that would be Spirited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and Ponyo.

--American Gods S1 “Ex-convict Shadow Moon roams a world he doesn't understand, left adrift by the recent, tragic death of his wife. Little does he know his life is about to change after he meets a crafty, charismatic con man named Mr. Wednesday, who offers Shadow a job as his bodyguard. As their journey begins, Shadow encounters a hidden America where magic is real and fear grows over the ascending power of New Gods like Technology and Media. In a grand plan to combat the threat, Mr. Wednesday attempts to unite the Old Gods to defend their existence and rebuild the influence that they've lost, leaving Shadow struggling to accept this new world and his place in it.”

I still need to check out this show. I read the book in 2016, I think, so I was pretty happy to hear that it kept pretty close to the book. Though it did deviate later on. Though to be honest about the book. I was a little disappointed it in. I expected more. I really need to give it a reread sometime. I think I had its rep. built up pretty high so maybe next time I’ll like more.

--Hunter x Hunter P3 “Gon and Killua head to Heaven’s Arena to train the higher a fighter advances there, the tougher their opponents become! Moving up quickly, the two friends soon meet Zushi, who tells them about the power of Nen, and they begin training under his mentor, Wing, to harness their potential. But the duo hits a wall on the 200th floor of the tower their Nen-using foes are strong, and soon Gon is injured. Will Gon and Killua gain the strength they need to advance further?”

Episodes 27-50 of Hunter x Hunter. It covers all of the Heaven’s Arena arc and part of or half of the Phantom Troupe arc. I’ve really been enjoying this series though I’ve only seen a few episodes past where P3 ends. As with the first and second parts if you order from Rightstuf it comes with a replica of the Hunter License. Though this one looks similar to the one that comes with the second part. The first part license has a different look than both of them.

--Samurai Jack S5 and the complete series box set “Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.”

The final season of the hit series Samurai Jack. I deeply regret not watching this show when it first aired. I caught a few episodes here and there but just didn’t fall into it. I did start watching it on Netflix, at least until it disappeared, and understood just how good it is. 

--Spider-Man Homecoming “Peter Parker balances his life as an ordinary high school student in Queens with his superhero alter-ego Spider-Man, and finds himself on the trail of a new menace prowling the skies of New York City.”

A pretty enjoyable Spidey standalone film. Peter and Ned are just so pure, we must protect them. I am really happy that Tony was kept out of the limelight, giving most of the screen time to Spider-man.

In Video Games --South Park: The  Fractured but Whole “In the quiet mountain town of South Park, darkness has spread across the land. An entire squad of superheroes will rise to combat this evil, led by a nocturnal scavenger sworn to clean the trash can of South Park society.”

I still need to play The Stick of Truth. It’s been on my list for a while but I haven’t picked it up yet. Still trying to cut back on some of my game purchases until I can beat some of my other games I haven’t even started yet. I will probably pick up this one sometime soon, soon-ish, since it comes with a free download of The Stick of Truth. Or at least it did. I’m not positive if that was for all copies; now and future, or just when it first came out.

[mylittleredgirl]

What are your thoughts on the Xindi arc in Season 3 of Enterprise? (I was away from internet for a month but I'm back at my marathon!)

Oh man, I have a whole library of thoughts about the Xindi arc and they’re gonna be full of spoilers so, go watch the season before reading my reply but short version: I both screamingly love it and have Strong Other Feelings about it, but my love and appreciation for the Xindi arc has increased with time. 

When it aired, I was Against It until Trip and T’Pol started banging. First of all, I didn’t want Star Trek to do a narrative parallel of 9/11 while the US was righteously invading Iraq to look for WMDs (the warp trail in “The Xindi” is red white and blue!! go america!!! our only hope!!). And the Enterprise production and writing team like… did not have my full confidence, let’s say. They would go rabbiting after ratings and this one time they put T’Pol in a tank top and had her prowl the ship out of desperate horniness (let! t’pol! have! some dignity!!)! These were not the frat boys I trusted to write a nuanced take on post-9/11 current events! Friends, it was a S T R E S S F U L time to be a ride-or-die Star Trek fan.

Enterprise is a much better show on Netflix than it was on TV. In writing this post, I realized how much of my original Enterprise experience was colored by the stress of negative reviews and ratings and the cringeworthy UPN previews that regularly spoiled all the plot twists. So I was really worried about Season 3: America’s Revenge. But! It ended up being pretty amazing!! I’ve watched it half a dozen times since and probably enjoy it more each time.

HERE ARE SOME OF MY FEELINGS: 

Top five likes:

The Xindi!!!! What a cool idea. I LOVE non-monolithic alien cultures on Star Trek whenever we get them, and I am an absolute slut for alien politicking. 

The aesthetic. Shit gets broken and stays broken. Everyone is DIRTY and BEAUTIFUL and in DRAMATIC LIGHTING all season and they’re all SO FUCKING HOT 10/10 sexiest season of Star Trek.

Gratuitous naked massage. give me all that ship goodness and let me make out with it with my fACE.

The spheres!! Season-long mystery!! Space grilled cheese effects!

Just some good damn writing thANK U ENTERPRISE, WE ARE DELIVERÉD. “North Star” “Twilight” “Carpenter Street” “Similitude” … I prayed for this, Enterprise. I prayed. 

Top five reservations:

I don’t love Archer’s descending arc into obsessive rage and justifications. It’s realistic that he’d be broken by the extreme pressure put on him to save Earth amid all this wacky shit, don’t get me wrong, but I wish it were written more consistently.

let!!! t’pol!!!!! have some fucking dignity!!!!!!!!!!! x 200,000 like I remember watching “Damage” and it goes to commercial and I turn to my friend and I’m just STUNNED like how… you had her HUMP A SPACESUIT LAST SEASON, i thought we’d hit bottom here, we’d taken T’Pol as low as we were gonna, and then she shoots up into her neck. (Note: I love T’Pol and everything about her including the drug arc, but FOR FUCK’S SAKE.)

I’m still crying about the Avians and I never even MET ONE

Night of the Living Vulcans. I don’t think I can over-stress to you how strongly anti-Zombie I am as a person.

I don’t have a fifth reservation but I thought of another top Like and that’s that SHRAN SHOWS UP AND IT’S FUCKING AMAZING. that’s not a reservation that’s just a fact. JEFFREY COOOOOMBS.

[ramajmedia]

Stranger Things: All The Monsters Hawkins Has Dealt With, Ranked

Hawkins, Indiana has one helluva monster problem. Ever since Eleven accidentally opened an inter-dimensional gateway to the freakish world of the Upside Down, smalltown USA has become the port of call for all things that go bump in the night. Together with her pals Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Will, she's faced everything from prowling packs of demodogs to towering demogorgons.

Now finished with its third season, Stranger Things has boasted a wide variety of monsters over the years. The series started off with several mysterious entities like the demogorgon, finally graduating to full on creature-feature when it introduced the dreaded Mind Flayer in Season 2. Luckily Eleven and her friends got some reinforcements, because by Season 3, the Mind Flayer was closer than ever to coming through the Gate and wiping Hawkins off the map. Lets see how the monsters in Hawkins measure up against one another.

9 D'ARTAGNAN

If there was a category for cutest instead of the stuff of nightmares, D'Artagnan might be a contender for best in show. An adolescent version of the terrifying Demogorgons the crew face later in Season 2, this little guy began as a slug-like creature found by Dustin.

His curiosity one Halloween night led him to place the slug in his turtle's tank and feed Three Musketeer bars (hence its deceptively altruistic name). "Dart" soon grew from the size of Dustin's hand to the size of a small dog, escaped, and terrorized the crew later on in the tunnels. It could recognize Dustin, however, and block out the Mind Flayer's influence allowing them to escape.

RELATED: Stranger Things: 5 Reasons Seasons 1 & 2 Were Better (5 Why Season 3 Is The Best)

8 THE HAWKINS TUNNEL SYSTEM

When a gateway was opened beneath the Hawkins National Laboratory, a biological growth began to transform the tunnels under the lab, spreading out in all directions underneath the outskirts of the town. Chief Hopper first discovered an area of the tunnels by digging up an area of a pumpkin patch.

The tunnels intersected in a point called the "hub", which was an important area where the Mind Flayer's sentinels, the demodogs and demogorgons, gathered and coordinated their next attacks. Strewn with the bones of the dead, it also is full of mysterious eggs.

7 VINES

Often referred to as "vines" by the main characters in Stranger Things, the snake-like tendrils that corrupted the tunnels under Hawkins have a sentience. They are seen covering the Hawkins Public Library in Season 1, and crawling out of the Gate itself.

When Will Byers is abducted into the Upside Down, the tendrils wrap around his body holding him in place, while another tendril goes down his trachea. When Jim Hopper investigates the tunnels for himself, a multitude of tendrils attack him. He discovers they're vulnerability to fire and creates a makeshift torch.

6 DEMODOG

The demodog was the penultimate stage a member of the Demogorgon species reached before molting into a final adult form. The demodog was so nicknamed by Dustin because of its quadrupedal nature and resemblance to a large dog. Dustin's pet "Dart" reached this stage in development when the crew met him again, belonging to a pack of demodogs.

Demodogs are extremely strong, fast, and agile. They possess the "petal mouth" that their species is known for, with rows of sharp teeth. Demodogs are known to be exceptional diggers, a fact the crew finds out when they face them in the Hawkins junkyard, and Steve beats one with a nail-encrusted baseball bat.

5 THE FLAYED

The antagonists and precursors of the Mind Flayer's dreaded appearance, the Flayed were members of Hawkins' community that were corrupted by the Mind Flayer's mental power. When it could no longer control Will Byers, it chose Billy to be its emissary of doom.

It took over Billy's mind and used him as an instrument of its will, as well as a means to spy on the movements of Eleven and her friends. He was able to take over other citizens, and like a zombie outbreak, dozens became mindless zombies that eventually sacrificed themselves to the Mind Flayer.

4 THE DEMOGORGON

Standing anywhere from six feet to ten feet tall, the Demogorgon was the most terrifying creature to affect Hawkins in Season 1. Referred to simply as "the Monster" until Dustin and the gang came up with a name derived from the famed Dungeons and Dragons antagonist, it was unleashed when Eleven accidentally opened the Upside Down with her mind.

The Demogorgon abducted various citizens of Hawkins, including Will Byers, kidnapping him to be placed in the Upside Down and used to breed more of its kind. It had incredible strength, skin that could resist bullets, and a "petal mouth" full of sharp teeth. Eleven finally stopped its rampage in a showdown at Hawkins Middle School.

3 THE HOSPITAL MONSTER

Much like the creature in The Thing (a sci-fi '80s classic), the Hospital Monster was a horrible amalgamation of pieces of human tissue. This abomination was then given the mental acuity of the Mind Flayer, making it in essence a mini-version of the much larger creature.

It was made from the Flayed members Bruce Lowe and Tom Holloway, both employees of the local Hawkins newspaper. When Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers killed them in the Hawkins Memorial Hospital, their bodies turned into a bloody pulp that attacked them savagely, until Eleven arrived to kill it. It was later reabsorbed into the Mind Flayer.

RELATED: Stranger Things: 10 Awesome 80s Movies It Should Draw Inspiration From

2 THE SPIDER  MONSTER

The hulking monstrosity that attacked Eleven and her friends in the Starcourt Mall at the end of Season 3 was the largest embodiment of the Mind Flayer yet. It had grown from the dormant particulate inside Will Byers to the gargantuan spider-beast by using the bodies of the Flayed to construct a physical body.

The Spider Monster was the only piece of the Mind Flayer that didn't get destroyed when Eleven closed the gate, allowing it to watch (through its connection with Will Byers) and wait for its opportunity to strike. Its methodical consumption of Hawkins' citizens permitted it to do this in secret.

1 THE MIND FLAYER

The Mind Flayer is the ultimate antagonist in Stranger Things, the ruler of the Upside Down and introduced in Season 2 as the "Shadow Monster." Will is able to communicate to Eleven and his friends that because of his return from the Upside Down, he shares a link with its hideous ruler, a creature with spider-like legs that towers over its domain and wants nothing more than to take over Hawkins.

The Mind Flayer has mental control of the Hawkins tunnel system, vines, demogorgons, the Flayed, and the Spider- Monster. He uses them as instruments of destruction on Hawkins, and hopes to eventually conquer the world, unless he's stopped.

NEXT: Stranger Things: 6 Characters Who Could Return In Season 4 (& 4 Characters We Hope Don't)

  source https://screenrant.com/stranger-things-monsters-hawkins-dealt-ranked/

[coeurdastronaute]

Giant: Ch. 3

Pack yourself a toothbrush dear Pack yourself a favorite blouse Take a withdrawal slip Take all of your savings out 'Cause if we don't leave this town We might never make it out.

Previously on Giant

There were still visits. Still calls, texts at all hours, weekends spent at home, weekends spent visiting. It was not as much as they’d like, but still, the friends kept in touch as much as they could, or hope. Kara didn’t regret her decision as much as she thought she would, only realizing into their first holiday without her father that she needed the time at home to fix herself and grieve properly that she wouldn’t have gotten if she’d gone away to school.

A new, simple routine developed that kept her sane, until she only felt the gentle tug of sadness on her leg every so often instead of the overbearing weight of sorrow upon her shoulders. She had more dinners with her mom, took her to movies and gets her to hang out with her friends. Kara split her time between studying and working as an assistant for one of the doctor’s offices in town, her sunny demeanor an instant hit with the kids that have to come in for shots. At night, she spent more time prowling, and hoping to help. Her sister, radio silent and upset, felt like she abandoned her, and Kara tried to hide behind her side job.

Lena didn’t regret her choice either. Her father’s alma mater became a safe haven for her, one she never knew she needed, surrounded by walls made of nothing but books and learning, with paths that stretched in millions of directions, that she could pursue to her heart’s content. She works hard and toward the second half of the season, even manages to start a few games for the soccer team. Her father and mother, even Lex make a few appearances at the games, decked out in all manner of red plaid and face paint to support her.

A new picture takes a spot next to her favorite of them when she was a kid, one where they are all dressed in the best cheering attire and she is muddy from a rather tough match. Beside it on her desk in her dorm sits one she tries not to look at too often, of Kara and herself at the beach, Lena on Kara’s shoulders, somehow able to be held up as the waves come down around them.

It’s almost holiday break, the end of the first semester, before Lena tells Kara about Bree, the pretty sophomore art student who kisses a little sloppy and smokes too much weed, but is kind and gentle. Kara takes a few extra moments to respond to the text, asking a million questions and trying to be happy for her friend.

Winter break was spent doing all of their favorite things, spent locked in Lena’s living room watching the snow fall and catch up with each other, spent with Kara dragging Lena into the snow and sledding or to look at lights as she pedals on her bike with the Luthor on her handlebars, relishing in the cold and quiet.

They exchanged gifts before Lena disappeared for a few days with her family to the cabin. She promises to wear the sweater Kara bought her, and she felt like her chest would explode when she gave Kara the new sketchbook and expensive pencils. She accepted the hug eagerly, soaked it up as best she could to hold away for when things were hard.

On New Years’ Eve, Lena looked away when Kara kissed someone else, her gut turning over into knots at the sight.

By second semester, not long after her return to school, Bree was gone, and Kara smiled when she saw the text. Lena was not as upset about it as Kara would have imagined, but she puts on her supportive face, and cheered her up anyway, promising to be there that weekend for junk food and movies.

The first sighting of Superman came just before spring break. Kara couldn’t help but stare at the blurry picture on the front page, the same one carried around the country, even the world. She called her cousin as soon as she saw it. Pacing through her room, she picked up the paper again and shook her head.

“Hey,” he coughed, his voice still tainted with sleep.

“Superman!” Kara shouted, unable to keep her voice down.

“Kara, listen--”

“Keep your powers secret, Kara,” she repeated the boring and tired lines she’d been told her entire life on earth. “Don’t you dare show yourself. Be human, forget about what you are capable of being. Those are what you told me my entire life and now you’re… you’re… you’re in a cape!”

“There were extenuating circumstances,” Clarke murmured, sitting up in his bed and stretching slightly.

“That you had an outfit laying around waiting, just in case of these circumstances?”

“The rules still apply,” he warned her. “You’re just a kid, Kara. I know what I’m doing, and I’ve seen what can happen if I sit back--”

“If you can do this, why can’t I? Why can’t we team up? I can help!” she jumped up and down, her eagerness betraying her own point.

“You have a chance at a normal life, Kara. I had to… I had to save someone. That plane held… Just. Be a kid, okay? You were supposed to protect me, but let me be the big cousin that protects you.”

“Clarke, this is ridiculous. A double standard!”

“There are bad things out there, and I’m not going to subject you to them--”

“Just yourself? So you can get killed and leave me behind.”

“I’ve never heard you yell so much. Not since I took you to that unlimited ice cream bar,” he chuckled.

“This isn’t funny, Clarke. I’m being serious. You just… you went back on everything. And then I’m not allowed to do anything at all, when I’m just as strong as you, just as fast.”

“I’m twenty-nine, Kara. I know a few more things. And I’ve been investigating some--”

“Kal! This is not about--”

“Don’t think I don’t know about what you’ve been doing at night. Fires, accidents, robberies, I bet you even rescued a kitten from a tree. We agreed that you wouldn’t jeopardize yourself.”

“But you can?”

“Kara,” he sighed and hung his head. Kara slumped onto her bed in much the same position. “You have a family and a life. Please, just be normal, for me? Let me be the one who gives it all up to keep everything turning.”

“What if I don’t want normal?”

“Please. I don’t think Alex and Eliza could handle another loss. I don’t think I could,” he confessed. “We tell you these things to protect you.”

For a long second, Kara was quiet, feels the guilt, knew how cheap it was, that it was his last resort. It worked and she hated it. With a groan, she lays back in the bed and covers her eyes with her arm.

“What was it like?”

“Carrying a plane?”

“Yeah.”

“I smell like fuel and my shoulders hurt. Would not recommend it.”

“I’ll make a note of that.”

In Metropolis, Clark stood and stretched, surveying the new world. He smiled slightly, glad to have won, at least for the moment.

“I know it feels like you’ve stuck out your whole life, but I swear, Kara, there will be a place that makes you feel completely comfortable, and like yourself, and when you find it, you won’t want to lose it for anything. You won’t want to have this responsibility getting in the way.”

“I always thought if I just… did that, came out to the world, I could live, at least as myself, even if it was short. Hiding feels.... wrong. Like I’m lying.”

“You don’t expose yourself just because you’re sick of things. You are safest when you’re hidden.”

“I want to be normal, and not act like it.”

“You’ll find it.”

“And if not, I can help you.”

“We’ll discuss that much, much, much later.”

Part of her knew that her cousin was right, that she wanted to help just to get rid of this secret. Not long after her call, Kara threw the mask away, electing to embrace herself, as Clarke told her to try. It wasn’t as easy as she thought it should have been, but it was well worth it.

By the time the summer came in, she was yearning for adventure, yearning to be… something, eager for it to end so she could start over in school, in a new city. Of course, summer itself was a gift and an escape.

“Finally!” Kara yelped, hugging her best friend tightly as she appeared at the front door. The dog barked and danced around the reunion. “I’ve been waiting for hours. I’m starving. Did you know that?”

“You’re always starving,” Lena laughed and hugged her back. “Mom wanted to go shopping to welcome me back, and I saw you two weeks ago anyway.”

“But now you’re back for twelve weeks. It’s going to be great.”

Lena shook her head and rubbed the belly of the other, actual, puppy who welcomed her as well.

“Let her in the house before you threaten her with fun,” Eliza chided from somewhere in the house.

Like they were still seniors, Lena made her way into the house that welcomed her eagerly. After a year away, Kara felt different, Lena felt different.

As they ate pizza and relaxed on the couch, Lena caught Kara’s face, how her cheeks changed, how her jaw looked different, how her shoulders were wider, how her legs seemed longer. Kara caught herself gazing at Lena as the movie flashed across her face. Hair up, shorts betraying soccer muscles, hips curving as she bent over to rub Boomer. It was different, they were different. They felt older.

Long after Eliza bids them goodnight, and lets them have the living room to reconnect, long after the movie is nothing but a faint murmur, Lena drapes her legs over Kara’s lap and yawns, lazy and content and almost feeling that perfect kind of feeling she often chased, but never found.

“So you and QB didn’t make it?” she observed.

“We just got really bland, really quick,” Kara shrugged. “It’s only been a few days. I think I’m sad?”

“Sounds like it.”

“It wasn’t a surprise, if that makes sense.”

“Definitely.”

“What about you? You working at LuthorCorp this summer again? Or breaking hearts like the softball team at college?” Kara teased, earning almost a blush, a rarity from a Luthor.

“I’m interning in the lab this year,” Lena smiled. “Dad was so excited when I told him I was going to go engineering for a major. Mom told me I’ll never find a husband, but I told her those were overrated anyway.”

“Which she appreciated.”

“Naturally.”

“I can’t believe you’re graduating next year. You’re going to be the youngest one of us with a degree.”

“Lex beat me by a semester, but I chalk it up to the move.”

Her hands roamed along the sleeping dogs head just below her on the floor. Lena stretched and Kara adjusted with her, both sinking deeper in the the couch.

“Any word from Alex?” It was a delicate subject, but they never shied away from each other before, and they weren’t about to start.

“She got recruited for some government agency. She’s been really busy, but she sounds a bit better. She calls more,” Kara said, happy at the small victory. “We’re… the past few weeks, we’ve been trying.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s something.”

“At least you don’t have to work with your sibling,” Lena yawned. “Lex has been my dad’s shadow lately. It’s crazy. He’s been pushing for alien research.”

“Alien?”

“Superman, to be more precise.”

“Oh?” Kara gulped and tensed.

“A creature… who looks like us, blends in, but can shoot lasers out of his eyes, fly at the speed of sound, freeze things with his breath, lift entire jumbo jets, survive buildings crumbling…” Kara found herself smiling at the list. “Take being shot, and for all we know, has no natural weakness. It’s a terrifying entity.”

“You think Superman is… could be… bad?” she asked, adjusting her glasses and sitting up straighter.

“I think he’s not human, and as good as he seems now, who is to say that he won’t decide to level a city tomorrow or next week,” Lena reasoned. “Lex just wants a contingency plan, a safeguard.”

“I don’t know, he seems to stand for hope, and righteousness, and justice. That has to be good, right?”

“I agree. It’s nice to have someone to help someone getting mugged, or a crashing plane, but I didn’t vote, did you? No one entrusted him to enact our justice.”

“Maybe he’s just trying to help.”

“He’s going to make my brother go crazy. He’s obsessed with his powers,” Lena yawned again and rolled over. “And Dad’s obsessed with fat government contracts for defense. They’re flying to DC every other day it seems like.”

Kara made a note to call Clarke as soon as she could. She furrowed and wondered what Lena would think of her, a question she never thought to ask herself, seeing as Lena had never been anything but madly supportive.

“What about aliens though? Think he’s the only one?”

“Weird things have happened forever in human history. I mean, look at that thing Superman fought a few months ago, and the things Batman catches. There has to be more. The universe is too huge to be just us.”

“That’d be kind of cool though.”

“Dangerous, but so much information. It’d be interesting.”

“So you like Superman.”

“I’d like to be able to fly,” Lena smiled and closed her eyes, the long day finally catch up with her. “That must feel…”

“Incredible,” Kara supplied, making them as cozy as possible.

While Lena dozed, the alien twisted her words around in her head and wondered if it would be possible for the girl she told all of her secrets to, to hate her and think she was a monster. It made her bones hurt at the very notion.

High atop the water tower, the two friends look out at the ocean, at the world, at the blinking lights and moving beams of the world happening below, and with little regard for their eyes at all.

Lena made sure not to even bring her flask; she wanted to be sober for it. She wanted to be the person Kara thought she could be. And so she didn’t drink and she sighed and felt her stomach flip as she attempted to build some kind of courage.

“This is my favorite night of the year,” Kara finally whispered. “You and me, and I just feel... I feel... I feel very normal.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe this year will be a good one,” she reasoned, as much for Lena as it was a wish for herself.

“Maybe,” Lena nodded, inching closer.

“Maybe things will work out.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe we’re allowed to--”

Before she could finish the thought, lips touched her own, and Kara didn’t care about anything else in the world, let the meteor crash down and wipe out the entire concept of civilization, let the floods come, let it all just go to heck, and none of it would matter.

Lena didn’t stop when she pulled away to catch her breath. She kissed her harder just a second later.

“Maybe,” Lena nodded with a smile before Kara kissed her back.

Even though they lived in the same city, real life made them busier than ever. Kara embraced her new chance at life, her new mission, and she had a small job and classes. She rode with the chance she had, and took every opportunity to do anything new.

Being busy helped distract her from the last night back home, the annual drink atop the water tower. The night Kara kissed Lena so hard she thought she’d rip the entire tower down herself. Her friend patted her cheek after and smiled, whispering the word perfect before she laughed and laid back, to look at the stars.

Busy meant accepting every blind date she could find in hopes of not ruining the one relationship in her life that was stable and good and honest. Lena was Lena, was so far out of reach, was too… too important to lose over something as trivial as a crush.

Busy meant casually avoiding Lena, which proved easy, since she seemed set on avoiding Kara just as much.

It was the reason the news was so surprising, came from out of nowhere. Eliza casually mentioned what a shame it was that Lillian would come down with such an aggressive cancer, and Kara finds herself agreeing with half an ear as she juggles a bag of groceries up the steps, until the words make sense, and she pauses.

Not even the donation Lionel made to Tora and Eliza’s research could rush it, could make it arrive quicker. Kara sits at her desk as if she’d been sucker punched, and calls Lena as soon as she hangs up with her mother.

When no answer comes, she decides these are desperate times. Sneaking into a back alley, Kara took off and searched for a familiar smell, a familiar heartbeat, a familiar voice. It wasn’t until she was over their home, that she caught wind of Lena Luthor once again.

Suddenly, she found herself standing on a familiar balcony, staring at a familiar sight just beyond the window. Lena Luthor with a book in her lap. Lena Luthor, staring at the page and not reading a single word. Kara didn’t realize she was holding her breath until it came out in a fog of ice. Once, twice, by the fourth time Lena picked up her phone, Kara was curious. She watched her scroll and hover over her own name before shaking her head and throwing the phone on the coffee table. It felt like a semi right to the chest.

Kara took a step, raised her hand to knock but stopped, unable to really do it, unsure as to why. Right there sat the one person who made her feel human, normal. It was a very violent thing to confront, for anyone.

Just inside the familiar room, the one she spent the past few years getting to know, making herself at home it, it felt foreign, unwelcoming. They were fast friends, things just clicked. Now, she couldn’t find the proper station.

There, just inside, there sat Lena, the girl who flirted with her the first time she met her, who held her hand when she broke up with her first boyfriend, who threatened to beat up one of Jack’s friends if he didn’t watch his mouth. There, just inside, book in her lap and ignored, sat the girl who was a grouch in the mornings, passionate about everything, smart as hell, and just plain quiet, when the world was so very, very loud.

And Kara ruined it with a stupid kiss.

Her cousin was a hero, who put bad guys in jail and saved busloads of kids. Kara could knock on her friends door when she was in need. That was the talk she gave herself as she squared her shoulders and knocked.

Green eyes snapped to her own, and Kara thought about her mother’s earrings back on Krypton. At first worry, then surprise, then almost resolve appears on Lena’s face as she finally sets down the book and opens the door quietly.

Kara smiled at the old high school hoodie she wore for comfort, at the Kingsmont sweats she wore to feel safe.

“How did you get here?”

“My mom told me about your mom,” Kara offered, fidgeting with her hands before she gave up and decided to be a hero. She took the few steps and wrapped Lena in a hug.

The moment it happened, Lena tensed before melting into Kara’s chest. If, in the history of the world, they offered awards for hugs, for comfort, Lena would bribe every judge to give the award to the girl that squeezed her just enough to make her feel real.

“I’m so sorry, Lee,” she whispered.

“I didn’t have time to call...  It just... “

“Three months you’ve been doing this, since before Christmas.” Kara hadn’t meant it to be so accusatory, but she was hurt and not the perfect hero just yet. “You could have said something.”

“How? When? Your dad died, and your sister is barely around. You just went off to school and were so damn happy… I. I could have a not perfect little while so you could have perfection a little longer.”

“You’re frustrating, you know that?”

“I’ve heard that a few times.”

Kara finally decided she could let go after a few more minutes, though Lena suddenly clung to her tighter, hiding her head in Kara’s neck, hiding completely so she couldn’t be heard. Her hands were claws, digging into the muscle there, clinging as deep as they could. She inhaled that smell, that Kara smell, that honey and sunlight and dew and dirt and stars that slumbered in her shirt and skin. It was a salve for the wounds of the past few months.

“I’m so sorry,” Kara whispered again, cradling Lena’s head to her, resting her cheek on the top of her head. “It’s going to be okay.”

“She’s real sick, Kara.”

“Yeah.”

Neither moved.

“Dad is flying all over the world… but, I don’t think there’s a cure.”

“Yeah.”

“She’s the person I want to be when I grow up,” Lena confessed. “Everyone thinks it’s my dad, just because I like what our family does. But Mom… she’s. She picked up an ugly little kid and decided to love her. She made people with money give it away to people who needed it, and she smirked and wore heels and no one knew she did it.”

“Yeah.”

“She can’t go. I need her to show me so many things.”

“Yeah.”

“Stop saying that,” Lena growled, pushing against Kara’s chest, her anger finally coming. Kara didn’t budge, just held her tighter. “Stop!”

“It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be terrible for a while. But you will survive. I know it. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

There, with the door open and the not quite spring air breezing through, they stood and Lena did her best not to cry. Instead she just stood there and tried to get her brain to catch up with the world. Eyes wide and very tiny, she hid.

She cried once. No one saw it, but Lena allowed herself that. Tears setting her cheeks, blotches underneath, eyes red and throat raw, she stared at herself in the mirror, putting the image of weakness to memory before running the water and letting the cold splash wash it all away.

Head held high, she clasped her mother’s pearls around her neck and smoothed the slender black dress across her hips. Her skin looked pale against the dark color.

In the end, she was almost grateful it happened so quickly. Her mother suffered long enough, and Lena couldn’t stand another day. But her mother kissed her cheeks and told her how special and good and important she was, how Lena was the best decision of her life, how she was grateful the world brought them together, how she was certain her daughter would do big things, how she should promise to fall in love every day, and that a smile was the best armor. In the last few weeks, Lillian imparted everything she could upon Lena, attempting to make up for missing so much. It was a kind of apology, the attention and advice and promises she made Lena swear to adhere. It was exhausting.

Every night that Lena listened to her mother breath in her sleep, that she’d sneak a few minutes and curl against her side and breathe in the perfume and soap, she was caught praying for two distinct and vastly different things. Either take her quick and stop the suffering, or heal her now and give her back. Lena knew which one was coming. She didn’t sleep for weeks.

The house filled with people, and even more than every other time, she hated it. The conversations were worse, now. The drinking was lonelier. The world felt empty with memories of her mother lurking around every corner. Lena half waited for her to pop out and scold a waiter with a crooked tie before fixing it for him and making him blush.

“That was a really nice speech,” Kara offered as Lena finally found her gazing at pictures, sipping her wine gently. She smiled warmly and Lena felt a heavy thud of a heart in her chest. “Eulogy, I mean. You know. At the… It was nice.”

“Thank you for coming. I thought you would miss exams or something.”

“I took them early.”

“Seems we’re even in the funeral department,” Lena sighed, looking around at the room.

“Yeah, isn’t that a shame?”

“It is,” she nodded. “Let’s not do this again.”

Somewhere upstairs, her father locked himself in a room and refused to leave. He would be pacing, she knew. He would be feral, and she didn’t know what to do to help him. Across the room, her brother emptied another scotch glass, and she didn’t know how to help him either. Lena could barely help herself, and yet she felt the weight of her blood to help them, to become the matriarch.

“You carry yourself like her, you know?” Kara observed. “Shoulders back, chin up. The first time I saw Lillian, she had this natural grace that me… well.. You know me…” she chuckled and earned a small smile from her friend. “I envied it. And then I saw you walk in, and it was… beauty and grace and just like your mother.”

“Thank you,” Lena sighed and swallowed a lump. It was exactly what she wanted to hear, but sometimes that is the worst kind of pain one can inflict upon themselves.

Before Kara could try something else, a voice rang out, attached to the lanky body that stood atop the baby grand in the corner. She felt Lena tense and flinch beside her, knowing full well it was nothing good to come.

“Thank you all for coming,” he lifts his overfilled tumbler of carmel brown liquid that sloshed slightly until he slurped and hissed. “I can think of no better way for you to honor my mother than by enjoying one more party thrown by the Luthors.” His smile was sardonic, angry and wrathful and pained. “Always good for a party, huh?” he asked no one in particular. “My mother was the kindest, best person, and you all just sucked her dry, took what you could, were nowhere to be seen when tumors gnawed on her organs.”

“Lex,” Lena moved through the crowd and tried to reach him. “Lex!”

Obediently, without an invitation, Kara followed.

“And my sister. My mom wanted a piece of living proof of her superhuman good will,” he sneered. “Like a shelter cat, we picked one up. And for what? For her to be killed? Do you know what killed her?” he accused the air, drinking another large gulp. “Superman. The aliens. Their alien rocks. Kryptonite exposure at the hands of my dear, old, dad’s research.”

“Lex. Come down.”

“Isn’t that great, Sis?” he shook his head and hopped down onto the bench. “Government contracts to protect us from Superman, researching weapons, it killed our mother. The first casualty of that demon from space.”

“Please, Lex, let’s go upstairs and talk.”

“I didn’t mean that shelter stuff,” he smiled, a genuine, good, smile before patting her cheek and leaning his forehead against her own. “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. He took our mother, Lena. I’m going to kill him.”

“Let’s get some food, okay?” she begged, fake smile and all. “I’m sorry. The day,” she gestured toward the house guests who politely pretended to ignore it.

“Nonsense. I’m fine,” he smiled brightly. “Never been better, actually.” With a flourish, he sat at the piano and ran his hands along it. “What do you say we have ourselves a real party?”

The noise that came was an off beat medley of whatever Lex could remember from his distant education in the instrument. When no one moved, he played harder and louder before slamming his fists down in a loud bang. He picked up his glass and threw it across the room, flipped the bench against the wall.

Instinctively, Kara put herself in front of Lena, not completely, but enough to help if she had to, though she didn’t know what that might mean.

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” he repeated, jamming his finger in the air. “Get the fuck out of my house!” Lex yelled, tossing his head back and bellowing it at the ceiling.

“Mom would be embarrassed by you right now,” Lena sneered as she watched her brother. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“I’m going to kill him, Lena,” he repeated, laughing and grabbing the decanter.

Kara stood beside her friend as the crowds cleared out. Her brother sat in the chair in the study beside the almost broken piano, as if it were a regular day, and he was simply pondering life and literature in front of the fire.

The only other soul left, once the door shut, was the patriarch, standing in the doorway with his hands behind his back, face grim and eyes weighed down by bags.

“Lena, will you excuse your brother and I?” he asked politely. “Kara, thank you for coming. I apologize for this outburst.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Mr. Luthor,” Kara nodded. “I’m very sorry for your lost. Your wife was very kind to me.” He nodded curtly as she walked by toward the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Lena whispered, pausing beside him, ducking her head. He tilted her chin up and gave her a small smile.

“Your mother always said you would be one of her brightest, lasting legacies. Remember that.”

Kara watched him kiss his daughter’s forehead before she hugged him tightly, and pulled herself away just as quick.

By the time they made it to the top of the steps, the yelling began, and Lena shook her head, stomping practically toward her room, tossing her heels in the hall as she went, as they were not conducive to how she was feeling.

Kara worked in double time to keep up with the ball of rage.

“Fucking idiot,” she flared. “He thinks… It’s. It’s all about him! He’s the one hurting! I had to do all of it. I planned it all for them because that is what we do. We keep going. I didn’t get to… feel! I had to pick out the fucking casket and hor d'oeuvres.”

Kara didn’t have time to add anything, just tried to stay out of her way. She let her rant for as long as possible, wondering to herself if she were ever going tire herself out. Her brain worked in overtime to find a solution. Lena knew how to help Kara. Kara had no idea how to calm this ball of rage and grief, at least she couldn’t come up with one quick enough, until she realized she didn’t have to.

“Let’s go,” Kara decided, stopping her mid sentence in some language Kara was not too certain about its origins.

“What?”

“Let’s go,” she repeated with a smile, walking toward the door. “Let’s just go.”

“We can’t-- What are you talking about?”

Hands on her hips, jaw tight and pointed, Kara knew she would have fallen in love with her if she wasn’t the most important person in her life.

“Shut up, Luthor, and let’s go,” she laughed, opening the door to the balcony.

The summer was coming, the spring was raging, and despite the fact that it was the day of a sad funeral, the sun was shining and happy to do so. Kara kicked off her heels as well and tilted her face like a flower towards the brightness of the afternoon.

“Unless you’re scared.”

“I’m not afraid,” Lena challenged, following quickly.

Kara climbed up on the railing and stood there for a moment, hands on her hips and confident. She knew how to tame a Luthor; misdirection.

“You wanted to know how I get in here, right?”

In an instant, she dropped, hands grabbing the marble before slipping off to the next. Lena yelped and sprinted toward the edge, leaning over to find a cheesy grinned girl standing in the same position as a minute ago, but on the ground.

“Come on, Lena. We’re making a break for it.”

From atop her little world, Lena looked over the edge and took a deep breath, willing to follow that voice farther than she was willing to admit.

“If I break my neck, you’ll be in trouble, Danvers,” she called as she saddled the railing, carefully working her footing to try to figure out how this kept happening.

“I can see your underwear,” Kara giggled.

“Not helping,” she huffed, moving slowly. “I don’t habitually trespass.”

“It’s only trespassing if it’s unwanted.”

“Clever thing you are.”

It takes a little longer, but Lena makes it down, and Kara is beyond impressed. It was easy when all she had to do was hover. She could barely imagine it as a human.

“Enjoy the view?”

“No… I mean… I was kidding,” Kara’s ears burned bright as she adjusted her glasses and looked away.

“Well, now what?” she asked, brushing clean her hands and smoothing her dress, adjusting her pearls.

Even after scaling a house, she was a Luthor, and it was endearing.

Barefoot and all, they start walking, out the backside of the property, through a large, ten foot hole in the wall that never got fixed. They stole bikes outside of a playground, and carelessly wove down hills toward the beach, each racing and veering as best they could.

They stole apples from the stand on the corner. They stole sandwiches from the deli. They stole a bottle of wine from a table at a restaurant as they zoomed by on their bikes, the baskets full of contraband and two women who were too old for pegs and such, in black dressed and mourning torn stockings. Kara dropped the money from her pocket at each location, apologizing as Lena rolled away with a laugh that was as carefree as she could have remembered.

By the time they made it to the sea, they were exhausted and the sun began to set. They tossed their new bikes down and loaded up their arms before finding a spot to enjoy the spoils of their heists.

Gone was the earlier morning, gone was Lex, gone was the funeral, gone was her father, gone was the idea of evil aliens and hunting them. Both ran from the world.

“Did you see that guy's face when I swiped this bottle?” Lena laughed, popping the cork after tugging it loose with her teeth.

“You are a master thief, Lena Luthor.”

“That was… so much fun,” she decided, laughing as the sunglasses in the shape of hearts she stole from the drugstore fell back onto her face from her hair with the pop of the cork. “I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you, girl scout.”

“You knew what I needed. I knew what you needed,” Kara shrugged and unwrapped a sandwich.

“What do you mean?”

“When my dad… you helped. Not much, but more than anything else. I know this won’t fix anything--”

“For a minute, I forgot,” Lena smiled sadly. More and more those were her go-to smiles, and it broke Kara’s heart. “I had a thought, that I couldn’t wait to tell my mom about this afternoon, how she’d get a kick out of it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t--”

“No, no. It’s… reality now.”

“Not for tonight,” Kara handed food to Lena. “Tonight we’re in a parallel world. Perfect World.”

“My kind of place,” she smiled, adjusting her sunglasses like a movie star before drinking the wine straight from the bottle. “We wont’ fit in well. We’re far too imperfect, far too often.”

“We’ll fake it.”

They watched the sunset and created an entire world full of perfect moments. Milk that never expired. Pizza that never burned. Technology that never failed. Parents who never died. Nights that never ended. Days that could be paused and stretched apart like the cotton candy clouds they watched over the waves.

Lena pulled her knees up and rested her chin on it while Kara stretched out, the wind rustling her sandy blond curls. Lena sighed and watched the night appear on her face.

“Let’s run, Kara,” she whispered, earning a golly kind of smile. “I mean it. Let’s just go. I have some money saved up, get on my plane, wake up in Argentina, or Dubai, or Kenya, or Nepal. Let’s just go.”

It was an earnest request, an honest wish, and Kara yearned to say yes, to hop up and take her up on the offer. It would be so simple to escape with Lena, keep running whenever someone caught a whiff of them.

“Your dad needs you. My mom… Boomer.”

“Bring Boomer, of course.”

“Of course,” Kara laughed and laid back in the sand.

“I mean it, Kara. Think about it. We don’t need it, all this, all them. You can walk dogs in Paris, and I’ll work in a café.”

“Can I scoop gelato in Venice?” Kara played along.

“I’ll be one of those boat rower people, who wears those hats and sings,” she offered, drinking again.

“In London, you can be a star on the stage, Ophelia and Cleopatra and whatever else up and coming playwrights decide you’d be perfect for.”

“And you can work in a florist, and bring home fresh flowers every day.”

“My favorite would be Buenos Aires,” Kara whispered, enjoying the cool sand on her warm skin. “You’d be a poet. Write poems on the walls and roof, fill up the world with poems. Steal my hand and write poems on it when we’re out having coffee.”

“And you’d work in a daycare, and come home exhausted from the kids climbing on you, and with flowers knit like a crown in your hair.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Kara laughed.

“I’m being serious, Kara,” Lena muttered, her voice quite stern. She earned a smile and deep breath from the girl who looked as if she really was dreaming right there in the sand.

Instead of answering, Kara squinted and reached up, stealing the sunglasses and slipping them on herself.

“We can’t, Lena.”

“Why can’t we? We just did. Jumped the wall, sprinted like the dogs were on us, stole some bikes. It’s that simple sometimes.”

“You know we can’t,” Kara whispered, running her hand along Lena’s forearm. “I’d give my right arm to have the ability to leave everyone, my life, and do that. You have to know that.”

Once more, Lena looked out at the ocean, at the gentle waves, at the sun and the colors that came as the night welcomed itself again with stars and a great display. She inhaled the smell and held her breath, closing her eyes, willing herself to be the person who could run, who could just go, take the easy way out of her future. A tear slid down her cheek and she let it hang there before it fell to her knee.

“Everything’s going to be fine, Lee. I swear.”

Lena smiled despite it all and slid beside her friend, lying against her side, stealing her warmth and comfort. She wrapped her arm around Kara’s ribs and rested her forehead against her cheek.

“I have a feeling, that if we don’t leave now, tonight, this minute,” Lena shook her head. “We’ll never escape it all. It’s just going to get harder.”

“Never escape?”

“If we were really brave, we’d do it.”

“Yeah,” Kara swallowed, eyes open as she stared hard at the sky. For reasons unbeknownst to her, she felt a tear fall down her temple, into her hair, gone as quick as it came.

“Thank you, for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me for anything.”

“I really do,” Lena sighed and closed her eyes tightly.

NEXT