#instead I am here working with numbers
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mitsuki91 · 1 year ago
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Once again my mind is in full "windows error" because I want to write too much stories at the same time.
But don't worry!
I actually have to work now so I can not write anything :D
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vulpinesaint · 2 months ago
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kind of unfortunate that so many fantasy epics are also war novels because i will be honest i just do not like war novels that much... the grand clashing of forces is compelling obviously but it requires characters to talk about so much practical battle strategy and while i can get my brain to comprehend all these fantasy maps and kingdoms and borders and battalions and front lines and army movements it takes up. so much space in the book. feels like i'm fighting a war of my own trying to get through it sometimes
#this is about the witcher books rn but also about book four of the inheritance cycle#roran is hot and i like seeing him with his hammer and his dedication and love for his wife!#also i am here for dragons and it is kind of a major tonal shift watching this man try to navigate becoming a military general!#like i'll learn all the names of the witcher kings and queens and learn where their provinces are and which towns are in which kingdom#and who borders what and where and how all those political machinations work. it's important to the plot.#damn it's a lot of names though#meve is the queen of lyria and rivia is in lyria. this much i know. because she is the only queen.#completely irrelevant information most of the time.#cintra is north of nilfgaard. nilfgaard is south of fucking everything.#cintra is like? middle of the map i think? there are other southern territories that got conquered by nilfgaard before cintra fell#other southern places. um. toussaint. i know this because this location is often referenced in fanfictions about aiden thewitcher#my favorite character that does not actually appear anywhere in canon aiden thewitcher#man i'm thinking about him again... fucking miss him... (<— guy who never met that guy to begin with)#anyway. what other witcher politics do i know. i can keep the wizard politics pretty clear in my mind.#total fucking lie i just realized i've been picturing stregobor instead of vilgefortz all through the last half of blood of elves#whateverrrrrrr i'll figure it out... this is why i can't pick things up this much later. i'm not restarting this reread though#other kings. suddenly all their names are gone. demawend? he is not very important rn i don't think.#vizimir. of. redania? perchance?#yes. because i think he's who dijkstra works for. and phillipa eilhart. i think that's the redania crew.#there's the king who is caught up in. incest. foltest. that's that guy's name. fuck if i know what kingdom. triss worked with him i think#oxenfurt is an independent city-state in my mind i don't think that's actually true though#just reread the story where geralt is delivering a message for the kings that border brokilon but could not tell you for the life of me#which kings and kingdoms those actually are. nor who ciri was supposed to marry there#anyway point is. man. War Novel#lord of the rings counts for this too btw. if i have to calculate the numbers for the armies it is a war novel to me#valentine notes#witcher reread
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platypusisnotonfire · 2 months ago
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Something that you’re not prepared for when world building is that sometimes writing how a space station runs involves breaking down every single scientific, electrical, mechanical, and Human Resources parts of running a space station and logging these things over two dozen cross referenced spreadsheets and also gosh darn it you’re running on an alien time clock and calendar so you can’t use any premade employee schedulers you have to make your own which is another four spreadsheets
JUST to figure out where Corporal Cosmoulis is on Fifthday the 15th of Friass at 2830 hours.
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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year ago
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it’s all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
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“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”
“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
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in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted#and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one#and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy
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cynic-says-stuff · 11 months ago
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I have way too much studying to do. I'm fucked :)
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absolute-lithops-emotion · 10 months ago
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reading a bunch of articles on phonics and whole word reading and listening to old vi hart videos in the background and realizing that if there's an equivalent to phonics for math, i don't think we get taught it
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novelconcepts · 1 year ago
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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jorvikzelda · 2 years ago
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Sometimes you try to immerse yourself in your writing by closing your eyes and writing what you picture and sometimes it doesn't go very well.
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foxcassius · 2 years ago
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since i cant sleep, do you guys wanna hear my new private lessons plan? as much as i would love to run the operation by myself, i think i would benefit from having a korean national help me with communicating with parents and arranging marketing and social media. i would also feel way more comfortable if someone who spoke fluent korean was in class with me to field problems and help explain particularly confusing instructions (since i want to do art and craft classes). so my plan is this: be kind of passively looking for someone i know personally beforehand who would be interested in working together with me. the arrangement i would prefer would be for us to both teach the classes together, mostly in english except where they need to give korean support to the kids. in regards to the admin work, i would ask them to do communication with parents and dealing with social media (insta is everything to the mommies these days) and i would handle most of the ordering of supplies, making the lesson plans, making the schedules, and creating samples of what we're going to make in class. we would charge around 35,000 won per kid per class, which from market research i have found to even be on the cheaper side for classes like this. from that 35,000, 5,000 would go into the business expenses (rent, utilities, upkeep, supplies, materials) and we would aplit the remaining 30,000 evenly, so we would make 15,000 per kid per class each. at 3 classes per day, 6 kids per class, 5 days per week, we would each be making like 5.6 million korean won per month, and the business would have 1.89 in revenue per month, before all taxes. just to remind everyone. i currently work 11 hours per day, teach 5 of those hours per day, doing classes that range from 7 to 10 kids per class, and i make half of that. if i could genuinely pull off teaching half the hours for double the pay? worth every ounce of extra managerial/admin work i would have to put it, considering i already DO 6 fucking hours if admin work a day as-is. so. just hoping i can meet someone in the next few years who is interested in doing this with me.
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badcountryofficial · 25 days ago
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Unfortunately something horrible happens when someone who learned love is having people cross boundaries and someone who learned love IS crossing people's boundaries get together
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mafufuu · 2 months ago
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bleh
#vent thing so if you dont wanna see scroll away#i dont. feel good#not in a sick way nessecarily but#its weird seeing my writing perform so much better than my art#often times its like i put more effort into my art and my writing is just spur of the moment. ive been doing art for even longer than ive#written i dont even try to consistently write. i want to see people articulate their praises for me or at least acknowledge my work. for#some reason seeing it done privately isnt enough. i think i just want to be enough for me but i think that requires the applause. maybe its#just me chasing trends on the writing side but i think more people have seen anything i wrote compared to any work i drew and i dont know h#how to feel about that. i get hundreds of hits for some damn reason but as of late i dont get more than thirty notes. this is all so selfis#im questioning if ive even made it anywhere. if all my work meant nothing. if im even worthy of what attention i have. i know when you thin#of it ten people can be a lot of people but just comparing the numbers leaves a foul taste in my mouth. i dont like this. i dont like being#so insecure and jealous. i see my friends getting so much more than i do and instead of being happy for them i just feel worse about myself#and then feel even worse because im supposed to be their friend. im supposed to care for them. i think i do but something in me wants to#steal their place for the sake of the recognition. i keep on reminding myself this isnt a competition but something doesnt quite click. wha#a friend i am. ive thought about just posting it on here or self reblogging but its what little ego i have left telling me not to. i can#understand and i think if i wasnt feeling like shit rn id actually agree that its valid to want my art to stand for itself and not just#try to get notes for the sake of it. i mean anyway it just gets lost among everything else here so what even is the point. im sorry for#being jealous. its okay if you dont forgive me#arte screams into the void
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bomberqueen17 · 14 days ago
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How To Shop For Fabric Online
RIP Joann's. Now many places in the US no longer have a local fabric store, such as it even was toward the end.
There are some good posts going around about where to shop for fabric and craft supplies online, like this one for example. But if you're a beginner-to-intermediate sewist, and the way you've always shopped for fabric is by going to the store and touching it, it can be a hard, even cruel adjustment to suddenly be looking at a photo online and trying to piece together from the inconsistent descriptions what you're actually looking at.
So I'm going to just try to bang together a little primer on What Things Are Called, and how to educate yourself, so that you don't have to do what I did and just buy a ton of inappropriate stuff you wound up not being able to use for what you'd thought. And I will link to some resources that will help with this. This will be garment-sewing-centric but will, I think, be fairly broadly applicable.
The first thing is to look carefully at your desired project. If it is a commercial pattern, it will usually tell you what kind of fabric you need, but it will describe it in not the same words it's often sold under. If it is NOT a commercial pattern and you're kind of winging it, it's even harder. So here is how to start figuring out what you need.
Number one: Knit or Woven?
Quilting fabric is woven. If you are making a quilt, you want a woven. Most craft projects are made with woven fabric-- tote bags, upholstery, you name it.
Many garments are knits. T-shirts, yoga pants, cardigans. It is easy to know, because knits stretch. They can either stretch both ways (along the length and along the width) or just one way (usually along the width); this is confusingly either called 2-way stretch or 4-way stretch. Yes, stores are inconsistent. Look carefully at the description, and they will usually specify-- "along the grain" or "in all directions". Some garments require stretch only around the body-- maxi skirts, knit dresses etc-- while some absolutely need stretch both ways, like bathing suits.
No, you absolutely cannot clone your favorite knit t-shirt in quilting cotton. It will not fit. Most knit garments have "negative ease", meaning they are smaller than your body and stretch to fit. All woven garments have "positive ease", meaning they are larger than your body, unless very firm shaping undergarments are used.
SMALL EXCEPTION: There exist "stretch wovens", which are woven fabrics made with elastic fibers. These will be labeled as such. They are actually harder to sew with than regular wovens because they almost never have their stretch percentage labeled; they are NOT suitable for knit patterns. Avoid them, until you are more advanced and know how to accomodate them, is my advice!
Number two: WEIGHT.
How heavy is the fabric? How thick? How thin? This is measured in two main ways-- ounces per yard (denim is often 8oz, 10 oz, 12 oz) or grams per square meter. But many fabric retailers do not tell you a weight, they use words like "bottomweight" or "dress-weight", and you have to learn to figure out what they mean by that.
My lifehack for learning these has been go to go to ready-to-wear clothing retailers and see if they give the weights of the fabric their garments are made from. (Yes, I learned how to shop for clothes online instead of in-store years ago, because I am fat; some of us have had to do this a long time.)
If you are making a pair of trousers, you need heavier fabric than if you are making a blouse. Do not buy a floaty translucent chiffon to make your work trousers, it will not work no matter how cute the color is. Learn how the different weights of fabric are described, and you will improve your odds of finding what you need.
Number three: DRAPE.
Is it stiff? Is it fluid? Is it soft? is it firm? There are a lot of very artsy words used for this, and you may find yourself puzzling over things with a fluid hand, or a dry, crisp hand, or "a lot of drape", or maybe the listing doesn't describe it at all. This segues neatly into another technical thing, which is the WEAVE of the fabric. There is a dizzying array of words that tell you what kind of fabric it is-- twill, tabby, challis, chiffon, crepe, organza, georgette. And these will give you insight into the drape, and thus into the texture/usability of this fabric, and how suitable it may or may not be for your project.
I know it's a lot to think about but I am now going to give you resources for where to see all this stuff.
Number one is Mood Fabrics, which I can't believe hasn't been in any of the posts I've seen so far. They are a huge store in NYC's Fashion District and yes you can go there, but when I went there it overwhelmed me so much I left empty-handed. But what they have is AN INCREDIBLE WEBSITE. They have everything on there, and what's most important for you, their listings are INCREDIBLY consistent. They have VIDEOS of many of the fabrics, where a sales associate will hold it, wave it, stretch it, and tell you verbally what it is and what it's for, in about thirty seconds. HUNDREDS of these videos.
Whether you want to buy from them or not, go to Mood Fabrics, click around, find their listings, and read them. They will tell you fabric content, weight (usually gsm), often weave, they have little graphics that show you if it's for pants, dresses, shirts. And they have those videos. Look at the listings, watch the videos, and you will leave knowing a lot more about how to look at an online listing of fabric and know what you're getting.
Another really excellent website for this is Stonemountain & Daughter. I've actually not bought anything from them yet (they came highly recommended, but they're not cheap), but their online listings are, again, very thorough and very detailed. They always have a picture of the fabric with a fold in it held in place by a pin, which does more to help you understand the weight and drape of a fabric than any other static image ever could-- that visual, combined with how informative the listings are, has helped me learn to estimate fabric weights on other sites very effectively.
And here is a page that's ostensibly about how to wash silk, but I found it so useful because it gives such a clear image of what each weave/type of silk fabric looks and drapes like. I've never bought anything from these guys either, but this is a good resource.
Learn a little bit about fabric so you know what you're looking for, and you can begin to replace some of that "i just have to go and feel it in person" problem. There will still be trial and error, but you'll have a better starting place at least.
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aboudalhaj · 4 months ago
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Help My Family Escape the Devastation in Gaza
🚨Urgent Appeal 🚨
I am Abdullah Al-Hajj, 25 years old. I graduated from high school with big dreams of earning a university degree, but life took a different turn. Due to the difficult circumstances we faced, I couldn’t pursue my academic aspirations. Instead, I joined my brother in the field of chemical manufacturing, and I quickly learned the craft. It became the primary source of income for our family. Through this work, I was able to get married and start building my own life.
But everything changed when the war broke out in Gaza. The relentless bombings destroyed not just our workplace, but also every hope and dream we had built. The factory that had provided for our family was reduced to rubble. I found myself struggling to provide for even the most basic necessities—food, water, and medical care for my pregnant wife, who is expecting our first child.
As the war intensified and the destruction spread to our neighborhood, we were forced to flee to a safer area. We found shelter in a makeshift tent, which barely protected us from the scorching summer heat or the bitter winter cold. Life in the tent has been harsh, and survival has become a daily struggle.
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My younger brother, Bilal Al-Hajj, always had big dreams. From a young age, he aspired to become a professional football player. Recently, Bilal graduated from high school and enrolled in university, determined to balance his education with his passion for football. His dream was to play for one of the major football clubs, a goal he had worked tirelessly toward for years.
But the war shattered Bilal’s dreams as well. The harsh realities of our situation—the struggle for food, water, and basic medical care—have made it impossible for him to chase his passion. The war has not only destroyed homes and buildings but also ambitions, hopes, and the future we once envisioned.
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🎯Campaign Goal:
Your donations can make a life-changing difference for my family. We need to evacuate my family of six from Gaza, and the cost of permits and coordination to leave is about $5,000 per person. Once we reach Egypt, your support will help secure shelter and cover initial living expenses as we adjust to a new life. The ongoing siege in Gaza has made survival increasingly difficult, with skyrocketing prices and severe shortages of food and water. Your generous contributions will help us meet immediate needs and begin rebuilding our lives. Please consider donating through the link below—your help can offer us a chance for safety, stability, and hope.
Donation Link: https://gofund.me/40968e1f
Your kindness can give my family a chance to escape the devastation, protect the next generation, and reignite hope for a peaceful and dignified life. 
Thank you for standing with us in these difficult times.
Warm regards, Abdullah Al-Hajj
��� My Campaign ✅ 🔍Vetted by @90-ghost here 🔍✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #300 )✅️ here
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missdynamighttt · 2 months ago
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random idea: the paparazzi take photos of Bakugou while he is naked in the courtyard of his mansion. The photos are viral all around the world, trends everywhere (imagine PopCrave tweeting about that, lol). The it tophic with the most viral tweet exceeds 600,000 likes since obviously what caught the most attention was the immense, almost inhuman Bakugou's cock size: almost 8 inches without even being hard. The only question everyone is asking is how the hell it will be while being hard.
But Bakugou is surprisingly chill about this, proud even. He logs into his Twitter account for the first time ever, which was created and managed by his public relations team (I don't know how it's called) and simply tweets:
"My wife owns that." The bastard even has it pinned on his profile. It doesn't take long for it to be his most liked tweet and with the time reach one million likes. Other weeks of trends about him...But also about his girl. She's lucky asf.
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ SHAMELESS KATSUKI ENJOYERRR!! happy chinese new year to anyone who celebrates it btw 💜💜
you storm into the living room, phone clutched in your hand, cheeks burning as you glare at your husband lounging on the couch, scrolling through his own phone like he didn’t just set the internet on fire over his soft, 8 inch dick.
“you—” you point at him accusingly, eyes wild. “you absolute fucking bastard.”
katsuki glances up from his phone, his expression is the definition of being so fucking smug. “what is it, sweetheart?”
“oh, i don't know, katsuki. maybe its the fact that the entire world just saw your dick, and instead of just, oh, i don’t know, taking legal action or being embarrassed, you tweeted—” you glance at your phone to quote him exactly, voice going pitches higher with each word. “‘my wife owns that.’ and pinned it.”
his lips twitch, but he keeps it cool. “and?"
you gape at him. “and?! katsuki, the world has seen you naked! and instead of being mad or contacting your pr team about this, you’re out here, tweeting this shit, like you’re proud of it!”
his smirk only widens. “tch, ‘cause i am proud.” he leans back, stretching, muscles flexing like he knows exactly what he’s doing. “not my fault the whole world can’t handle what you get every night.”
your brain short-circuits. “oh my god.”
you knew he was shameless, but this? this is a whole new level. and what makes it worse are the comments. thousands of people speculating, thirsting, straight-up praying to be in your place.
you whimper dramatically. “the comments, katsuki. the comments.”
he tilts his head, feigning innocence. “what about ‘em?”
“people keep saying i must be the luckiest woman alive,” you mutter, glancing at other tweets with an ungodly number of likes, like ”his wife must be the happiest woman on earth” or "the girl must’ve saved a nation in her past life", followed by an entire thread of inappropriate lewd theories (some were true).
katsuki snickers. “well, they ain’t wrong.”
you slap his arm, face on fire. “stop! have you really no shame?"
“none,” he grins before finally putting his phone down, sitting up, his arms resting on his knees. “why? you mad, sugar?”
“no! i mean—well, i should be! do you have any idea what people are saying about me?"
“yeah, they’re saying you’re lucky as fuck. and they’re right.”
you groan, rubbing your temples in frustration. “they’re also saying things like ‘she must be getting split in half every night’ or ‘"his wife must be in heaven every night'."
he throws his head back in a full laugh. “good. let ‘em know.”
you smack his arm. “katsuki!”
he chuckles and reaches for you, catching your wrist and tugging you down onto his lap with such ridiculous ease. “why’re you gettin’ so worked up, huh? it’s the truth.” his voice drops lower as he leans in. “and they don’t even know half of it.”
you groan, burying your face again in his chest. “i hate you.”
“nah,” he murmurs, nipping at your neck. “you know you love me, sugar.”
and damn it, you do. but you’ll never admit it right now—not when he's kissing you down your neck, pressing what the internet has been buzzing about against your damp panties. especially not when he’s being the most shameless, loving husband on the planet.
‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
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korattata · 1 year ago
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Why is it called slow burn anyway
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medicinemane · 1 year ago
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I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)
I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever
I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad
I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with
I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things
So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here
#mm tag so i can find things later#also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy#in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need#like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down#and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok#although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things#regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation#so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health#may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business#cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?#not that anyone will read this or particularly care#not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction#it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do#well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here#...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help#I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again#but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens#I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support#and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it#that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things#...no one ever hears or listens#anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help#...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day#probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out#at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better#like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure...#but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too#so I've given up; you know?#this is the best I can muster#don't say I didn't tell you
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