#insert cannon joke here

[cry-ptidd]

Bang bang bang ‼️

[theforesteldritch]

Reading the wikipedia page and man. There's a reason why star forts were fairly similar around the world and it's not an empire that never existed. It's because star forts were the pinnacle of defensive fortifications at the time they were popularized against this newfangled tech known today as cannons. I get that it's a conspiracy theory because it goes against historical fact but god why do people ignore cool history stuff for this. Is a bunch of people going 'hey that guy's fort is pretty good against artillery, let's copy it' not good enough for you??? Is responses to the popularization of black powder artillery in Europe not cool enough for you??? Aughhhhhh

What the heck *is* tartaria? I saw a tiktok comment about it on a video of a man who sits in a pond with an aligator and it sounded like such an odd conspiricy

It's basically the theory that somewhere around 100bce to 400ad there was a massive empire spanning from the Cape of Gibraltar to what is now Russia. But, this empire was buried by a catastrophic mud flood. The theory goes that many ancient buildings are actually just the top floors of significantly larger more impressive buildings that stretch deep within the earth.

Evidence of the theory is architectural similarities in many famous building around Europe and Asia. Which is true. Both Spanish cathedrals and the Kremlin hare distant architectural relations. The only thing this proves, however, is the existence of the Roman empire.

[vexwerewolf]

If I could ask you for some advice, what do you think helps the flavour text of a mech or piece of equipment sell a player on the fantasy of using it?

I'm finding it frustratingly difficult to do so with my own homebrew content: I can come up with lore and backstory easily enough, but re-reading it feels dry, and I can't help but contrast it with how the descrptions in official content and other supplements is more evocative, at least for mechs.

Let's observe some corebook Lancer flavour text and examine the various varieties it comes in.

Purely Functional

While it's usually not the most fun type of flavour text, this just tells us what the weapon is, and - if it has any particular tags or on-hit effects - why it's like that. The Hand Cannon is a good example: here's what it is (modified pistol), here's why it does more damage, and here's why it has Loading.

The main advantage of Purely Functional flavour text is that it provides space for other types of flavour text to breathe. Flavour text is a great place for jokes, but it's not good for every piece of flavour text to be a joke - the pauses between notes in music are just as important as the notes.

Obfuscating Vendorspeak

The Bristlecrown Flechette Launcher this is a great example of dark humour that Lancer uses quite often: marketing fast-talk to cover up something really unpleasant. The joke here is based on us understanding precisely what the equipment does mechanically, and then seeing how the manufacturer tries to sell it. There's a bunch of dense technobabble here meant to obfuscate the fact that this weapon fires knives in every direction specifically designed to kill infantry.

Deadpan Weirdness

The joke here relies on describing something extremely weird like it's the most natural thing in the world. Wait, you're telling me that in a world where I can just print new parts if the old ones break, they put DRM on my fucking knife and I have to apologise to the fucking knife maker to get a new one? What the fuck, dude? Why are you acting like this makes any sense?!

My sword uploads fucking what to the Space Internet?!

Third-Act Twist

This type of flavour text disguises itself as something else - most often Purely Functional - and then hits you with Third Act Twist. It makes you go "wait, what?!" It's very classic setup-punchline stuff. You're telling me my mech can rot?!

As a side note, Lancer loves to use this for its NHPs.

WHY DID YOU PUT THAT IN SCARE QUOTES, LUCIFER

Worldbuilding

This is similar to the Purely Functional, but instead of just describing technical specifications of the weapons, it puts the weapon in the broader context of the setting's history. Okay, so we know what this weapon is and what it does - why was it built? What was the original use case, and why? Most importantly, what can the existence of this weapon tell us about the world that build it?

Whimsical Aside

This is the insertion of a light-hearted, humanising little insertion regarding how this piece of equipment gets used in the field. This serves to remind us that soldiers aren't cold, unfeeling killing machines: they can be as emotional, irreverent and silly as the rest of us, and they do things like name their mobile bombs...

... or call resupply drones "mech snacks."

The Ominous Out-Of-Context Quote That Explains Nothing And Only Raises More Questions

As I've said in multiple textmash memes, this is basically Tom and Miguel's shorthand for "this technology is Intensely Fucked Up in a way that it is more fun and scary not to explain." This is essentially Lancer's version of SCP's [REDACTED].

You might think this is the domain of HORUS, and you'd be right, but every single manufacturer indulges in these - although IPS-N had to wait until NRFaW to get theirs:

What the fuck do you mean by that, Lancer?

[slutforguns]

What sort of dates would the guys prefer to go on/do?

Yes I can 😙😙

Date night with the boys || any reader <3

Can be seen as epilogue or teen version since it's sfw

Bill dickey:

He'd probably just take you to the movies and call it a day.

He loves you, he rlly does, he's just lazy as hell

Would buy you a snack you want

Would be talking shit abt the movie the entire time, even if it's a good movie

Jerry Stokes:

Any date that involves staying home and doing stuff with you

Cuddle dates, arts and crafts dates, cooking dates

As long as he doesn't have to go out

If you beg him enough he might have a picnic

Social anxiety Jerry cannon idc

Josh Levy:

Dinner dates

*insert fat joke here*

No but fr, he'd wanna take you out on a really nice dinner date

It doesn't have to be expensive it just has to be a nice place with good food

Will ask to split the bill if y'all have been dating for a while tho

Pete DiNunzio:

Cooking dates

He'd put some cheesy romance song on while he stands behind you as you cook, giving you some pointers along the way

He's a fucking cornball idk what to tell you

He likes simple dates

Kinda like Jerry where he likes to stay inside but he'll go out if you want to

[evilminji]

You know? I kinda wonder...

In a Self Insert type scenario, in Star Wars?

They would be MUCH more open to listening to "buddy, a storm's comin'" type warnings. Their Cannon knowledge, even if spotty, would probably echo with the Force and draw its attention to them somewhat. Because they KNOW.

KNOW what is going to happen. Not guess. Not assume. KNOW. Like the Force does. And that? Coupled with their inherent strangeness? Would make them the oddly colored duck of the flock, as it were. Not Super Important... buuuut? Easy to spot.

One of the Force's Blorbos.

Just cause, really. Cause they look funny. The Force doesn't even have a plan for um! But they turned up, ate the Force's food, and look at their wittle faaaace~☆! So it's keeping them. You know... assuming they survive.

Which?

Brings me to my point?

Since they LISTEN? The Force probably chatters like a mofo. Since a Self Insert would be anxious and constantly ASKING for wisdom. For help. A friend. Guidance of any kind. The Force would be draped around them like a particularly pleased with itself shoulder cat. A hovering backseat driver.

Because you DO keep asking, after all.

It's like muscle memory. Building strength. Not... not GREAT, in all actuality? Because Self Insert is avoiding making their OWN choices, probably out of fear? But on the OTHER hand? Both of them KNOW that there is literally a Sith Master like... less then 5 minutes away from where they live. Constantly.

And they are a Youngling.

So???

At What Point?? Does the Force? Engage "Fuck it, we take our baby and run" protocols?

Just? FULL ON "you stop midway through making your dinner, turn off the soup, pick up your kids, leave the house, and NEVER LOOK BACK". Because? Yes. The Jedi KNIGHTS and MASTERS may have vows to try and protect the people of the Republic?

BUT THE YOUNGLINGS DO NOT.

They, in fact, need to be PROTECTED.

And if the Force itself? Says "if you stay here, they WILL die."? You gotta go. Hopefully? You have enough warning to like... pack a ship. But, ya might NOT. Might just be "aaaand, everybody put down your pads! Suprise field trip to Anywhere Else! IMMEDIATELY. Single file, younglings. No running!" Like?

What would you do?

I kinda wanna see it.

Just this somber, vaguely haunted, crechling walking up to import figures like Madam Nu and Yoda going "if I tell you The Force told me we have to take the younglings, ALL OF THEM, and any history we think is worth preserving, and LEAVE... would you listen? Or would you let us die here?" With their tiny lil face and to serious expression.

Like a prophet of Doom.

And WHERE? Exactly? Are they supposed to go? Oh, simple. They are to Trust In The Force. And let it guide them. Out IN THE UNKNOWN REGIONS of wild space! Because THATS fine! Is this a joke?

No.

No the youngling is dead serious. Terrifyingly serious. Has been studying how to pilot a shop like they will have to do so THEMSELF. Asking questions that paint a concerning portrait of a child that fully intends to take their peers on this journey, with or without them.

And the Force? The Force says they MUST. That it is impossibly important they DO.

WELL THEN....

Do they... TELL anybody?

No. Not a single soul. Specifically, not a single soul In The Senate. Ah. Concerning! Guess we're? "Losing" a ship in the war? Oh dear. Such casualties. All those lives. Oh noooooo, and such and so forth. UNRELATED note! It's been FAR too long since this temple was cleaned! Unacceptable. You, random clones definitely not assigned to that ship we definitely just lost! Help us... clean!

Just?

The power of "fuck it, we took our ball and went home/left"? Should be USED more in fics. The Force TOTALLY knows where some sweet, sweet habitable planets are. You'll NEVER fuckin find them if they don't want you too! An entire temple of Jedi asking for the SAME thing? Versus a crusty lil shit?

They asked first. And nicely!

With THIS, balance is maintained. Not through FORCE. But through walking away for a bit. Allowing OTHERS to decide if this is what THEY want for themselves. Order 66 may or may not still happen? But? At most? All you would kill is the current fighting adults. Not the teachers. Not the elders. And CERTAINLY not the young.

They? Are far away. Where the Force is still clear and the light is strong. Growing up. Reflecting on what went wrong. Farming. Building a new temple with the Clones. You know, the ones who didn't have their comms. Never GOT that dreaded order. Get to live free men on a peaceful planet.

Cause historically? You send your kids AWAY from active wars zones. Places that are priority targets for your enemies. And if the Force itself is saying "move the babies"? Welp! Guess you gotta move um, don't ya? It's scary. Uncertain.

But it is an act of faith.

And I just? Wanna see Sith's plans just COMPLETELY fuckin implode? Because they could not plan for Faith. For Trust and Community and Hope. All the things they believe so trite. So worthless. The very things that would lead grown adults, POWERFUL PEOPLE, to actually? LISTEN to a mere youngling. Then follow their lead.

It would be?

Inconceivable to them.

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @hypewinter @babbling-babull @hdgnj @starwarsblr @starwars

[bendableperformer]

Ranking Popee The Performer Ships!!

(Also a “what your favorite ship says about you”)

Please don’t kill me.

Popee x Kedamono: 1/10

If you ship this, you’re either a child who doesn’t know better or a maniac who will only settle for the most toxic, acidic sludge of yaoi.

Firstly, there’s an age gap between 7-10 years. Secondly, Popee’s a minor and any sort of sexualization of him makes me deeply uncomfortable so all ships involving him get docked points. Thirdly, there’s a beastiality argument floating around but that doesn’t count because Kedamono is definitely sentient so…. No. My answer is still no. Fuck you.

You get a 1/10 because it is a perfect setup for some toxic yaoi it’s just the wrong characters and the wrong context.

Also, if you want the concept of two guys killing each other over and over again in the desert forever and they have this crazy forbidden fucked up toxic yaoi relationship, AND they’re both legal adults? Have I got the fandom for you. (It’s TF2)

…as for shipping them in chinchirukin only? *dissapointed sigh* fine. But I’m fucking watching you.

Popee x Eepop: 3/10

You wanted a “cleaner” Popeemono.

It’s quite literally the same dynamic as Popeemono but it’s straight and also they’re the same age and both humans. So. That’s cool I guess.

I really don’t care though. Like I said, any sexualization of Popee makes me deeply uncomfortable.

“What if it’s only romantic?” you ask. To that I say: Yeah right. As if you’re only shipping them so they can be in a stable, loving and healthy relationship. I know you want yandere Popee so bad. I know you want that fucked up boy.

Also this ship does tend to be depicted in a very binary-gendered way. Almost all art depicting Popee and Eepop force the two of them further into their gender roles (ex: Eepop has boobs and eyelashes and a skirt or something) even though they canonically look FUCKING IDENTICAL.

Kedamono x Pink bitch Wolf: 4/10

God I do not care about these fuckass genderbends. Same as the above ship.

A little better because we love a girlboss but man. I just do not care. Kedamono deserves better I think.

Popee x Pink bitch Wolf: 0/10

You want to see this twink get ravaged so bad. WELL GUESS WHAT?? He may be physically ALMOST 18 but MENTALLY. HE IS A CHILD. HE IS NOT A TWINK HE IS AN ANDROGYNOUS CHILD PLEASE LEAVE HIM ALONEEEEEEE.

Kedamono x Eepop: 0/10

You want the weird fucked up age gap and human/furry relationship but you don’t want the toxic yaoi. You pathetic wimp. At least commit if you’re gonna be a degenerate.

Papi x Alien: 7/10

The fandom was so desperate to pair characters off that I’m sure this started as a joke. But honestly?

It’s really fucking funny to me. Especially if it’s one sided. Papi is absolutely enamored with this random fuckass Alien and said Alien does not give two shits about him. It’s just so silly.

Papi x Kedamono: 4/10

….Honest to god I don’t hate this one. They really seem to get along sometimes. They’re both legal adults. In the context of my headcannon backstory it becomes weird, but in cannon material? I dunno. I kind of like it. It’s a little silly.

Especially when you realize what Popee’s reaction would be. That boy is gonna be Third Wheeling FOREVER.

Papi x Popee: 0/10

If you ship this please get therapy.

Popee x Marifa: 0/10

You really like fucked up sibling incest, don’t you? You fucking loser. Go touch grass

Kedamono x UFO girls: 10/10

Ideal PTP ship. You KNOW Kedamono wants this. I think Kedamono needs some forehead kisses from these lovely ladies.

Kedamono x Alien: 5/10

*Cough* *wheeze* I don’t even know what to say here…. Um…. Yeah.

Papi x OC/Self Insert: 9/10

No comment.

Popee x OC/Self Insert: 8/10

*takes drag of cigarette.*

I was like you once…..

Kedamono x OC/Self Insert: 9/10

Yeah. I get it. I understand. You just want good things for this dog.

….Honestly this fandom is just….. Not good for shipping.

(Unlike TF2 lol)

[dhampling]

I've had this idea in my head ever since I first played as a Dragonborn or Tiefling in BG3, and I have no idea why it isn't discussed more. But what if a Tiefling! (Or Dragonborn, whichever you prefer) Tav shows affection by coiling their tail around their s/o? Like they're close by and are just overwhlemed with love and adoration, and their tail just kinda wraps around their lovers leg? Or wrist or anywhere they can reach! Like Tav is hugging Astarion and then without really realizing it, their tail coils around him as well? Idk, I just think the concept is super sweet/cute. I would love to see this as a small story, or even just head cannons if you want to explore the idea as well. No pressure, obviously, ignore it if you wish to ❤️ hope you're doing well!

a tail of... insert pun here! tavs with TAILS. tails with tav. tav tails with dal.

hello sweetling! can i start by saying that i loved this - genuinely, absolutely loved this. i started by writing HCs and got a bit carried away, so i hope you enjoy the little bit of both here! thank you for giving me something different - this is absolutely not something i'd have thought of and i had SO MUCH FUN. a/n: species isn't mentioned, and I've tried to keep it as generic as possible so it could be applicable for tiefs or dragonborn tavs!

headcanons;

As far back as you can recall you’ve been particularly expressive

It’s not something that you’ve ever seen as an issue, beyond the occasional mishap you can laugh over with any tail-whipped parties later

Frantic little licks of excitement when playing with your peers as a youngling come to mind as an immediate example

Running amok and jumping with the widest of smiles as your tail oscillates behind you

Your family chiding you playfully whilst rubbing their stinging ankles after a particularly jovial day in your presence

Your parents holding you whilst you were still small enough to be held

Your tail bony and light, and yet tightly winding around their forearms as you rested on their torso like a twisting vine

A sign of comfort, safety

A sign that hasn’t lost any significance as you’ve aged

Many a time you’ve run into an old friend and accidentally lashed them in sheer glee, loosely wrapping your tail to whichever limb you can to keep them close as you agree to wander the local bustling market together

And so when you begin to bond with your fellow escapists as you search for a cure for your unfortunate parasite problem, it’s inevitable

It doesn’t even cross your mind

Not until the day where everything just went right 

For the first time since your abduction you’ve emerged your battles all victorious, casualties kept to a minimum, and with enough variety in supplies to have a proper meal 

Spirits are high, wine is flowing; and your party has a real energy of optimism

Your tail flitters back and forth like a moth to a flame as your take to your feet and search for the one who has captured your attention

fool's errand;

It takes Astarion a little aback when the wine steers you towards him.

A few weeks in each others’ presence, sure. A night or two; possibly three, maybe even four at this point, of mutual enjoyment under the stars. Frequent back and forth exchanges while on the road, bantering like old friends. You give him your neck, he offers you moral support.

But on a night where the joy is positively spilling from every cup in camp, you step to him?

He’s unsure whether to be flattered or cautious.

If you’re to end your arrangement, surely tonight - where the conversation is so effusive, so effortless across your party - would be the optimal time to do so. Laugh it away as a lapse in judgement between ‘old friends’, as you often joke, and drift from him to a more viable prospect as the coming days pass. Leave him as the least amicable in camp once more. He’d understand.

Not that he’d like it.

But he’d understand.

Or, he’d try to. He might be a little upset if Lae’zel wins Lady Congeniality over him, but it’s not the end of the world.

He’d have to hope the group still would still want to keep him around of course. Be a little nicer to Gale. Offer to help Karlach carry your packs between camps. 

What is he offering you if not his nimble fingers? Maybe he went too hard on gunning for you. Or not hard enough, perhaps?

You quirk a brow as you snap your fingers in his face, wine sloshing gently in your other hand.

Clearly his face is now showing his displeasure.

“You ok? Hello?”

“Oh! Yes, my sweet. Lost in thought.” 

He waggles his fingers and lifts his goblet to toast alongside yours. To new friends.

“I must say - you being lost in thought is entirely unusual. Still wondering about the left handed tongs Gale sent you searching for earlier?” You laugh warmly. He scowls.

“I don’t eat! I haven’t eaten for two hundred years. What use would I have for tongs in a dungeon, darling?’

He sips.

‘A fool’s errand in very poor taste, if you ask me.”

You still. He pauses.

He’s feeling sour, and he’s ruined it for you. Sapped the joy from your evening. Gods.

He wracks his brain for ways he can come back into favour. 

Suggest other things he’d like to taste in order to clear his palate. He hasn’t eaten in two hundred years, and he’s absolutely famished. Whet your appetite a little. Win you back round.

“I can hear your brain whirring, you know.” You whisper, leaning close.

He freezes. Can you see it? Through the tadpole? His horrid scheming?

And you do the most unexpected thing.

Your arms come around his torso to envelop him in a tight hug.

You aren’t fervently clutching at his waist, running fevered hands over his abdomen or pulling yourself close just to feel his body against yours.

It’s soft. Clandestine almost. He doesn’t know how to react. 

“I do so adore you, you know? You make this sordid little adventure a little more enjoyable each day.’ 

You hum. Your head falls to his chest, your tail wrapping around his leg steadily.

‘You can talk to me about these things if you want to. If you figure out what you want to say. I’m here.”

He wouldn’t have anticipated a single one of your actions in the face of his sullen behaviour this evening.

Yet the one that touches him most is the tail now secure around his leg. 

A reminder of every tired day you flit joyously against him as you trek together, the curiosity and jubilee when he powers through a wholly trapped room with nothing but a single tool and a flourish - for good measure, of course.

Your little happy whips as you stumble on dire-needed pouches of gold alongside him. His lockpicking skill that you find oh-so enthralling, providing for the party in making use of his talent.

And every once in a while when you’re aside him, the way this happens.

A moment that reminds him of the beauty within bodies past their use for sexuality. How genuinely happy those little mindless touches make him. How his undead heart could maybe be cajoled into beating again over this one.

He coughs. Smiles. Brings his arms around you, though delayed.

Head resting atop yours. 

“You’re full of surprises aren’t you, treasure?”

Your tail flits against his leg in a happy shiver.

“Naturally, darling.”

You imitate him in a way that makes you both laugh like fools. Toast once again.

"To us."

[percy-puppy]

Headcanon: Dick Piercings

About: CoD Men || Gaz, König, Keegan, Soap

A/N: Bestie and I talked about the CoD men and if any of them have a piercing in their special area. It ended with me researching for an hour and coming to these conclusions. @mothymunson caused it with this! ↓

TW: 18+ Blog/Post | MDNI, Piercings (duh.), DICK DIAGRAMS (plural), Me thirsting, talk about dicks/masochism/lil sex talk focused on vagina owners since I wrote this to self-indulge.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick

Ampallang Piercing.

✿ It's pretty subtle compared to the others, but still some bling (his piercing is made from gold), and I think it suits Gaz's personality, too. Also, it doesn't just feel good for you, cause many men report increased sexual pleasure with this piercing. He definitely got it for this reason.

Keegan P. Russ

Reverse Prince Albert.

✿ “Just the tip,” has such a nice drag with that piercing. He also has a tongue piercing. He isn't even half in, and he doesn't need to, tbh. That piercing is the g-spot magic wand.

König

Prince Albert. (classic)

✿ This had me drooling, and I didn't even know what got me so hard at first, but here is why: It's quite a thick ring and just gives bull vibes, which matches him wholeheartedly. He is a massive man and cannonically couldn't be a sniper because of it. He was later assigned as an insertion specialist and served as a battering ram. So, he is a breeding bull — breeding kink, size kink, mating press… It’s once again a piercing both sides get increased pleasure from.

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish

TOP: 3 Top Ladders. Dydoe/King’s Crown. (Pierced through the ridge vertically at the penis's head base.)

BOTTOM: 3 Bottom Ladders. Hafada/Scrotal. (He is pierced there 1x (ring piercing). It sits right in the middle. During doggy, it smacks your clit.)

✿ Listen… he likes some pain, he is a little nuts—the chaotic middle-child energy just manifested like that. He has multiple dick piercings. He enjoys the modification of his cock, and getting them was fun for him, too. He definitely makes jokes that sound like condom sale slogans, like, “✨Ribbed for her Pleasure✨”. He got them for your pleasure, but he gets off on getting you off, so it's a double-win.

[thefallenangel2008]

I came up with new stuff about my take on the Relativity Falls AU! Ok, so, I talked about it here (and here are some design choices in case y'all are interested). Although these are with Bill like he is in cannon because I hadn't come up with that idea yet but these were mostly concept plans for this AU, SO IT'S OK.

ANYWAY, so, at first I thought about leaving Bill kinda the same, but at school I was blessed with enlightenment by the gods of hyperfixation and I realized. I COULD SWAP HIM WITH CANDY. AND HERE'S WHY.

Okay, so, I think you remember that in the show there was an episode in season 2 where Stan took the twins plus Candy and Grenda on a road trip and Candy had a crush on Dipper which was one-sided on her part. And it reminded me of how in Billford the feelings are one-sided on Bill's side after the betrayal (whether those feelings are romantic or pet-owner thing is unclear, but yeah). So I thought to myself "What if Candy saw Dipper, was fascinated by him and his nerdiness and also figured he could help her with her plans for Weirdmageddon (of whichever the motives I'm still trying to think)?" And then Candy would actually fall in love with Dipper while Dipper stayed the same. He would of course be fascinated by her but he wouldn't have developed any romantic feelings towards her. Just admiration.

I feel like she would also like pain like Bill but because humans feel pain differently than her kind does, it would be mostly because of interest and for experiments. She would be mad at Dipper after the portal incident and him giving up but would try not to show it (much), so when Dipper would fall asleep she would possess his body and work on repairing the portal (and maybe slap his face and stab a few objects on his arms for leaving her after he found out her plans) until Dipper got that metal plate inserted.

Also Candy would be a circle. I came up with that thing mostly so that Mabel can joke about knowing that her brother liked curves, lol. Btw Dipcifica is happening because I swapped Pacifica and Fiddleford together (and in this after the Northwest family kicked Pacifica out they left Gravity Falls out of shame that one of them lost her mind, and the mansion was empty until the Mcgucket family, a rich, country family moved in. I might change that bit, idk).

Also, since I swapped Candy and Bill, I thought about Bill and Stan being friends, but their canon rivalry is just too funny to pass up so maybe whoever swaps with Grenda (maybe Pyronica? I low-key like that. If I keep that idea her name will change to Veronica or Pyronica is gonna be a nickname cause she would like arson) will be trying to make them boys get along, and the only reason Bill wouldn't leave would be because that person is his only friend. One reason why Stan would hate Bill (other than him being a spoiled little brat) is because he likes his brother and Stan KNOWS he's gonna be a bad boyfriend for Ford. Also Bill and Fidds would have some beef (Robbie and Dipper kinda vibes) because they would be both crushing on Ford while Ford would remain completely oblivious and be head over heels for Manly Dan (who is swapped with Wendy).

But Ford would be fascinated by Bill because he would know how to do magic tricks. Bill in this is VERY Helga Pataki codded because his parents would be mostly focused on his successful, normal, with-no-eye-deformities older brother Steve (yes, I came up with it rn while writing it, and yes, I'm putting Pyramid Steve there CAUSE I CAN) and because he would hide his true feelings for Ford (everyone knows but Ford). Bill wouldn't outright bully Ford, but sometimes Ford would wonder if Bill likes him or pretends to because he's "friends" with Stan due to the jokes he makes.

Bill would come from a kinda wealthy family and his parents would give him everything he wanted (except their attention) which is why Stan calls him spoiled. Bill here also has a false schizophrenia diagnosis because when he was little he would say he saw some weird stuff (they're real cause, yk, it's Gravity Falls) and he takes a bunch of medicine, both for schizophrenia and anophthalmia (which is a rare condition where you're born with only one eye. Bill hides his missing eye behind his hair). The medicines make him feel drowsy, and like he's not really there, but he's good at masking it behind a wide smile and a cocky personality.

At some point Bill will come to the conclusion that he doesn't deserve Ford because he can be so kind, and sweet, and understanding (everything that he's not) so he would (begrudgingly) let Fidds have Ford and step out of the unofficial "contest".

One last thing, I'm swapping Soos with Durland and Melody with Blubs.

[darkluminosity]

I've never mentioned this before, but my husband has a crazy habit of intentionally saying names and certain words wrong, in an effort to get people to say them wrong with him. (It drives one of his coworkers absolutely crazy in the best way lol.) But he's caught himself before, saying the wrong name when he meant to say the right one (like "Girl's Feet Line 2" instead of "Girl's Frontline 2" because the creator legit has a foot fetish).

So he has nicknames for a lot of the Genshin characters too...

Kaeya: he pronounces it as "Kay-ah"

Diluc: he either says "Die-luck" or sometimes "Die-lotted" (don't ask why) and if he's feeling especially crazy he'll just randomly say "FOR MONDSTADT" in a Batman voice

Eula: it's either "Eula honey" (since Eula is his main) or "End User License Agreement"

Albedo: how Jean pronounces his name in her voicelines... "Al-bed-oh" instead of "Al-bay-dough"

Ayaka: AYAYA!!!

Childe: Tartar Sauce (derived from Tartaglia)

EDIT: Here's more that I just thought of (and ended up asking him about because I couldn't remember):

Bennett: Eggs Benedict

Thoma: Thomas the Engine

Kazuha: Canadian Windblade

Navia: Tay-tay (cause she reminds him of Taylor Swift 🤣)

Collei: Cauliflower

Wriothesley: Worcestershire (funny how a lot of these nicknames are food themed 🤔)

Yanfei: Yan-fi-fi (pronounced Yah-n-fee-fee)

Chevreuse: Chevrolet

Ororon: Oreo

Arlecchino: OG Dom Mom

Yelan: Dom Mom

Neuvillette: Dolphin Noises

Shenhe: Shen-he-he

Venti: Venti Caramel Mocha Frapp, Light Milk, No Whip

Zhongli: Rock Dad

Kaveh: Tortured Artist

Lisa: Ara Ara~

Chasca: Yeehaw Flying Gun

Mavuika: Super Saiyan/SSJ3 (now with less eyebrows)

Chlorinde: Chlorine

Cyno: Insert Dad Joke Here

Dehya: Dehya Ex Machina (at least she's trying)

Ganyu: Glass Cannon or Super Dimensional Fortress Ganyu Cannon

Hu Tao: Who? (Tao, yey)

Kinich: Super Game Boy Advanced

Jean: he pronounces it "Jaune"

Klee: Bomb has been planted

We also picked up the habit of greeting each other with "Hello-nen" instead, ever since Xilonen came out lol.

There's others but I'm too lazy to share at the moment. Let me know if you have a certain character in mind and I can share it. 😆

[ladymorghul]

My Brackwood modern AU head cannons:

Vet Aeron - Davos routinely comes home to find that there’s an injured penguin in the bathtub and an orphaned fox resting by the fireplace.

Artist Davos - he makes really intense metalwork sculptures

Vegan Aeron - Davos struggling through various tofu dishes that he hates because he’s so down bad for that boy

Virgin Davos - his jealousy hits its peak when he finds out that Aeron has slept with someone before him

Aeron being in a bible study club with Aemond but really they just hang out, smoke and complain about their families.

More than one person has mistaken Aeron for a girl. Davos finds this hilarious

Davos saving all the cute animal videos he finds on TikTok to send to Aeron.

Epileptic Aeron and Davos going from freaking out and having no idea what to do when he has a seizure to being fully prepared and not letting anyone else help

oh these are so cute!!

Vet Aeron - Davos routinely comes home to find that there’s an injured penguin in the bathtub and an orphaned fox resting by the fireplace.

one thing about vet aeron is there's never a dull day with him and his small army of rescues. davos groans and acts annoyed sometimes but he does find it cute.

Artist Davos - he makes really intense metalwork sculptures

love this. can totally see davos as an artist, including sculpting. you know those hands know how to work! 👀

Vegan Aeron - Davos struggling through various tofu dishes that he hates because he’s so down bad for that boy

bless him, he's so far gone for aeron that even though he likes eating meat he'll try what aeron's eating and they do find stuff that davos really likes a lot. aeron slowly almost completely converts him. the blackwoods aren't happy with a bracken converting their boy! lol

Virgin Davos - his jealousy hits its peak when he finds out that Aeron has slept with someone before him

tbh one of my headcanons is that aeron was aware of his sexuality earlier than davos so he did experience a bit more than him (whether he had good or bad experiences, or both, it's up to the reader) before meeting davos and it's aeron that sometimes guides davos towards what feels best for both of them.

Aeron being in a bible study club with Aemond but really they just hang out, smoke and complain about their families.

it's so funny to imagine cute aeron sitting next to aemond who looks completely unhinged to everyone around them.

as a helaemond i have to insert this joke here but aemond just saying "fuck she's really beautiful" with aeron saying "dude that's your sister"

More than one person has mistaken Aeron for a girl. Davos finds this hilarious

it's not his fault he's a pretty boy!!

Davos saving all the cute animal videos he finds on TikTok to send to Aeron.

i just know davos is the type to send 20 tiktoks and make sure aeron watches them all

Epileptic Aeron and Davos going from freaking out and having no idea what to do when he has a seizure to being fully prepared and not letting anyone else help

davos learning how to take care of him when he has a seizure? aeron knowing he can count on davos to help? oof i love it

[luzwastaken]

my pokemon SV self insert and intro post ig :33

UPDATED REF SHEET :DD

guess i'll write more about myself here:

⭐️i have a pinterest !!! i usually post there first !!! (@ thecoolerluz) (might change @ idk yet it's a TOH joke LMAO)

⭐️i go by Luz and i hope to make it my legal name one day :-)

⭐️i use she/her pronouns cus idk i just know im comfy with those, i am also very much a huge lesbian LMAO

⭐️my favorite pokemon is Lucario cus them XY episodes with Korrina's in it changed my brain chemistry forever, though i love every pokemon. my fave gens are 5, 6, and 9 but i've played almost every gen except gen one. my fave seasons of the anime are XY and Horizons (I LOVE HORIZONS DUDE)

⭐️i am a yume/self shipper and my romantic f/o is Nemona, and my platonic f/o's are Arven and Penny, and my familial f/o is mc's Mom form SV !, people sharing my f/o's interacting is fine ! (Nemona cannon x cannon your on THIN ICE but still cool)

⭐️i age regress sometimes though i've been doing it more often as of this post and Nemona is my caregiver :3

⭐️my little age is 1-5 :)

⭐️i try to keep my blog as sfw as possible

⭐️i used to be heavily into the reality shifting community but i left it and now im just a respawner (take a wild guess as to what my DR is 💀)

⭐️i REALLY wanna learn how to skateboard LMAO

⭐️i have AuDHD and hypochondria/health anxiety and social anxiety so that's fun (and sorry if you wanna be like actual friends i get actually really uncomfortable with making friends, so it'll probably take me a while to warm up to you if i even try 💀)

⭐️my interests/fixations (but they get progressively weirder): Pokemon, Splatoon, OMORI, Bluey, Steven Universe, Subnautica (but only the first game), any music artist i like (mostly Gorillaz and Surf Curse), skateboarding, the Australian Football League, korean skincare, leather shoe care.

dni idk basic stuff like homoph0bia and transph0bia, rac!sm, pr0ship, z!onist if you don't like age regression or see it as a k!nk or mix it with NSFW, if you don't like self shipping, if you hate Nemona beyond that idc as long as your nice and treat people with basic human respect !!!

be cringe be free~✨

(FUNKY LIL NEMONA DIVIDERS BY @ferocioustrout !!! ) (i edit this often lmao)

(last updated 1/10/25)

[chaiandsage]

I was thinking about Trust Life (when am I not, I am insane and obsessed, I swear) and how it would fit into the larger canon of the life series as a whole, and two major things have always stuck out to me.

1) Limited Life, what with Jimmy being a Bad Boy and not saying I love you back to Scott (bc bad boys only love their moms) and how Scott would react to that through the lense of a post Trust Life game - I imagine him going back to visit Tango at TIES and just acting over the top about it like "How dare he not say he loves me back! Evil! Jail! Jail for Jimmy for ten thousand years!"

2) What healing happened between Scott and Impuse between the end of Trust Life and the start of the Secret Life games, because Scott was so ride or die for Impuse that season, Gem and the Scotts were all so close, but like, he and Impulse had MATCHING SKINS. And I mean, I know that it's difficult to say because Secret Life was only coming out around the time you finished TL and so it wasn't exactly something to factor in while it was being planned/written, but as established I am crazy and so I'm going to be fitting the TL lense over every life series that happens for the rest of forever and it's just funny trying to fit it together.

Anyways, that is all. Just weird thoughts with me.

Omg. Okay, so I too have considered this and first of all, for the record, I'm pretty sure I did come up with the outline and story idea for the fic long before LL and SL came out. I did try my best to alter things as new stuff happened, like for example, most of the interactions between Scott, Tango, and Jimmy after Trust Life (the game) were going to take place in Rivendell rather than a mix between Chromia, Tumble Town, and the Citadel--but I'm getting off track here. My point is that while LL does still take place after TL, if a bit later than it did in cannon, whatever happens during that game is still up for interpretation. Like that whole "Say it back" interaction between Scott and Jimmy could have still happened, or it could not have because the offshoot events of TL made things happen differently later. It's completely up to you what you would like to believe happened.

That being said, assuming that interaction did still take place between Jimmy and Scott, that whole "jail for then thousand years" bit is hilarious, but my take on it would be more like: Maybe Scott takes it for the joke that it is at first, but later, it slowly starts to eat at him the more he thinks about it. Same with Jimmy. Like in the moment he probably assumed that Scott would understand that he was doing it for a bit (which he did) but then starts to question if Scott really did understand that--and oh god, it's such a small thing to worry over and Scott seemed perfectly fine when he left but what if he really did take him seriously?? Maybe the worry keeps Jimmy up one night and he snaps, deciding to run over to Scott's base at (insert crazy late hour here) in the morning, knock on his door, grab him into a hug the moment he answers, and ramble about how sorry he is and that he was only joking and how he really, truly does love him and Tango more than anything in the world, and "please don't be sad, I will always love you I promise"-- And Scott just reassures him that he understood he didn't mean it (even though it did bother him a little, but he decides he'll just mention that later). Maybe they message Tango to come over and they all just fall asleep together that night only for Martyn to wake up and find them sleeping soundly in a tangled pile, thinking to himself 'How the heck did Scott's bfs break into our base am I really that heavy of a sleeper?' In conclusion, they're all idiots in love.

Scott and Impulse... yeah, that's a tough one. I would imagine that they'd heal eventually and start being friends again, but as you said, the speed and intensity at which that happens in SL would not make much sense when applied to the TL universe. And it wouldn't make sense for someone to pressure them into being on a team together since not doing THAT again was suppose to be Grian's entire takeaway after TL. So with all that in mind, here's the best take on this I can come up with:

Tango is very understanding about Scott's dislike for Impulse. He still hangs out with him, but constantly lets his boyfriend know that he is under no obligation to hang out with them or befriend Impulse just because he's someone close to him. Scott is fine with this at first, but later, he starts to view it as a challenge. He thinks back to what Cleo said to him during TL, how back then, she suggested that he try to get along with Jimmy since even though they'd broken up at the time, they weren't leaving each other's lives completely any time soon. He thinks the same applies to Impulse and how if he and Tango's friendship was able to make it through the mess that was Trust Life, then Impulse probably isn't going anywhere either.

Impulse still feels genuinely sorry and regretful for everything he did and said to Scott. He's spent some time before SL making up with Jimmy, but has made little headway with Scott. Scott doesn't outright hate him anymore but they're still far from friends. Impulse continues to feel guilty for his actions all the way till SL and he spends the beginning of that game quietly approaching Scott and trying to make conversation with him. Scott doesn't push him away, but he is still hesitant to stick around him. Nevertheless, Impulse continues to help him out occasionally during that first day, leaves little things for him like iron or food, asks him if he needs anything or if he could get him something, maybe shoves him out of the way and takes an unexpected headbutt from a stray mountain goat for him at one point... But sometime later, Impulse gets his secret task that says he needs to "make cherrywood his entire personality." He sees that Scott and Gem have decided to build their bases in the only cherrywood biome on the server, so now he's gone and made things even more awkward by being forced to do the same through his task. He continues to hang around them in the same biome while being entirely unable to explain that he's not trying to be weird, he's just doing it for his task and Scott just happened to want to set up his base in the one biome he really needed to be surrounded by for the day. So ensues some very awkward tension that carries on throughout the day where Scott feels as though it would be too harsh of him to outright ask Impulse to leave while Impulse continues to panic internally and Gem tries her best as a mutual friend of them to lighten the atmosphere a little and defuse the tension. Surprisingly, it works and the three of them end up having a little fun.

At the end of the day, when Impulse is FINALLY able to reveal his task, Scott is the first one to burst out laughing at how ridiculous it is--"THAT was why you wanted to build in that biome? Ha! Oh my god-!"--Any lingering discomfort between them is effectively broken and Scott decides that he's alright having Impulse stick around the same biome as he and Gem for the rest of the game. He wouldn't just force the guy to build an entirely new base somewhere else, would he? That would just be overly petty. They continue to talk throughout the game, grow a little closer, Gem continues to mediate between the two of them and tries to get them to see the good in each other. Maybe she has a few one-on-one conversations with each of them about this when they're alone and the timing calls for it. Meanwhile Jimmy and Tango (Tango especially) start to wonder how the heck these two are so okay with each other now. Scott tells them about it later. But yeah, that's about the best I can do for how wild their situation is. Would love to hear some of your ideas if you have any or ever come up with some!

[nothingbuthorn]

Bullfrog Head cannons

(New account version)

Pt.1

Some are reader insert some are just general

I have seen no fics of this beautiful French man so I have done it myself

Just my thoughts in bullet point form

———————

he is an american bullfrog, he not only looks like one but also despite the name there are tons in France

He enjoys warmth and gets grumpy if he is too cold

I feel like he doesn’t touch you all that much but adores cuddling

If given the opportunity he will burry himself in pillows and blankets ( bonus if they are weighted) especially during winter cuz of his hibernation instinct

He will insist you join him and promise it’s very comfortable

He isn’t slimy like his real world counterpart but his skin feels very moisturized

He gets cold super easy and shove himself under your shirt or jacket to soak up your natural body heat

You also don’t have to worry about it being too hot to cuddle as he is cool to the touch

He will insist you let him put his cold ass hands on your bare back to warm them up , he will pout if you don’t let him

Letting him do this will more then likely result in him having his head under your shirt and his face pressed into your back and his hands on your upper stomach

He usually avoids conventional touch based pda, the most normal pda youlll get out of under normal circumstances is a peck on the cheek

Instead the way he shows touch based pda is by sitting on your shoulders

Although if he is super cold he won’t care all that much

And Unless your in a situation where being partners with him would put you in danger, he will be fairly vocaly affectionate

He will call you his beloved and other “refined” pet names

As well as praise, flirt and compliment you, though he sometimes gets shy after( especially if he fumbles the line)

He seems like a darling, my dear, love type of person

He will jokingly call you stupid ones as well

He has a lot of running jokes with you and will tease and joke around with you all the time, he just likes laughing with you in general

Some of your jokes might take a second to land with him in the beginning but as your relationship continues he will pick up almost immediately

He tries really hard to be cool cuz he wants to make friends but everyone being stuck on him being a frog annoys him a lil

He will complain about this to you at least once

He is trying to be cool and Poetic!

He is just in general, just a huge over dramatic dork

When he is mad he will begin to speak in a mix of French and English but he doesn’t really yell at all, he does talk faster tho

He will bath for hours but doesn’t like to shower

He cannot use certain soaps or he will get sick because he will absorb the chemicals through his skin

He likes the look of bubble baths but if he sits in them he gets sick cuz of the soap In the water

Given his accent I assume he speaks French but I think he can speak multiple European language, due to his job

He is very adverse to the idea of eating bugs, he isn’t scared of them but if someone offers him a bug he will be grossed out.

He is the kind of person to not only catch and release bugs he finds inside but he will have little convos with them too

You’ll hear in the other room “hello there my miniature friend.’’ And as he takes them outside “I’m very sorry but you cannot stay here.”

His approach to flying bugs is far different, he will take NO PRISONERS

He is very efficient with a fly swatter and knows all the concoctions to lure and kill fruit flys or other wise

He avoids using his hands cuz of the bug guts

If you are afraid of bugs he will find it amusing but he won’t tease or torment you, he will just chuckle at how ridiculous you look up on the counter while he captures the invader.

He is very polite and kind to everyone he interacts with unless they have done something to warrant other wise

He will use French sayings in English instead of the English version because he is convinced that “they are far superior”

Pins and needles are now ants, it’s raining ropes not animals, forget apples falling from trees, dogs don’t make cats.

If you use the English versions he will argue the French version is better

“bolt of lightning explains the felling of it, love at first sight is so bland.’’

Please convert he will find it unendingly adorable every time

He does get cuteness aggression and will randomly shove his face into your chest and aggressively nuzzle into you whist squeezing you and violently kicking his legs and making a happy humming

He will be embarrassed the first few times he does this

He will get cuteness aggression from your cuteness aggression

(the inescapable loop)

If you bite him he will be very confused but won’t care all that much so long as you aren’t hurting him

You will probably be taller then him and honestly he likes it that way because when you hug him he feels like momentarily he is a totally encased by you

You can carry him but only certain ways

No toddler hold, with one arm and him on your hip

Piggy backs, shoulder sitting and standing are encouraged

You can only sling him over your shoulder in emergency’s

Same with under your arm

He doesn’t like princess carry’s cuz he can’t hold on to much and he wants to touch with max surface area

He also doesn’t like the instability

Carrying him by his armpits away from you has the same problem, he will struggle

He does enjoy if you hug carry him with both arms, either his face in on your chest or resting on your shoulder

I have made a helpful diagram in case my descriptions made no sense ( I can draw but it’s just stick men cuz I’m lazy)

He will randomly start monologueing if given the opportunity

He will tell you about being an assassin but only if you ask

( please ask, his creed and brothers mean so much too him, and he want a too them with you)

I think he is more likely to be with Someone who has prior experience with fighting

He feels nauseous after producing bubbles

He will lean on or try to be touching you while he recovers

You cannot truly surprise him, he will know something is up the moment you even begin to plan

He knows because you act slightly different

And hiding or sneaking something past him is also impossible

He has to actively try to avoid finding out what your doing

You’ve snuck something into the garage? I guess he isn’t going In There for a while

Hiding something behind your back, he isn’t even gonna face your direction while you hide it

You cannot sneak up on him either

When you try he will scare you by suddenly turning around and grabbing you

On the other hand he has scared and surprised you accidentally many times by just quietly existing

if you hug him against your chest and look down at him You’ll be able to see him melt and look at you with the most lovesick look you’ve ever seen

He will also grow to enjoy you squishing his face

(He is sooo squishy)

He doesn’t understand what you mean when you tell him he has a squishable face but he enjoys the attention it gets him

——————

hope you enjoy and this inspires more fic to be written of bullfrog

[bees-fnaf-au]

-Hey everyone! Bee Here!-(intro post)

HEY! Im Bee! I’m the creator of this little AU. I uh- don’t actually know how to do these-

Uhhhh a bit about me I guess!

I’m Bee! I love fnaf (obviously), undertale, cult of the lamb, and Minecraft! I’m 16 and probably have AuDHD, though I’m only diagnosed with ADHD- (I say this because fnaf is probably some sort of special interest-)

About The AU

This is my head-cannon fueled, self inserting (/j), hurt/comfort fic come to life, and lovely little Alternative Universe! I try not to change much about the known lore, just mostly pile on my design head cannons-

My oc of sorts that I popped into here is my baby, I love him so- said baby vvv

Nathan here, was actually a joke Oc before I decided to fully flesh him out. Originally, he was just “oh what if little ginger man?” And turned into “I will give this man my heart and soul.” Uh, yeah. I’ve had him for over two years now, drawn much art of him, some fics too. I just really want to share him and yap about him- he’s my boy!

I’d love to open an ask thingy for my AU, or if anyone just has questions about/for me I’d love to answer them!!

There’s probably a whole lot more I forgot, but will add on later. Next post will be all the Afton ref sheets, currently working on the Emily’s as of writing

(Thank you to sorrowfulwill here on tumblr for the lil image strip thingys-)

[sloshed-cinema]

Red Sun (1971)

A samurai and an outlaw walk into a saloon… The setup for Terence Young’s Red Sun feels like it was engineered to be every dad’s favorite dumb joke setup, and yet somehow the film managed to pull in quite the slate of names. Helmed by action star and Cannon darling Charles Bronson as the gruff roughneck Link, he has the show pretty much stolen from him by Toshiro Mifune’s turn as Kuroda. But that’s not all: Alain Delon appears as the steely-gazed Gauche, joined by his devotee Cristina, with Young dipping back into his pool of Bond actors with Ursula Andress. The reluctant partnership between Link and Kuroda, shifting from Link attempting to shrug off his responsibilities at any turn to relying on one another and even coming to respect each other, is played with an assured hand by both. And the film has a wry wit, both Mifune and Bronson tossing off one-liners and standard issue action movie punchlines like seasoned experts. However, given his Bond pedigree, it’s almost hilarious how reluctant the film’s attempts at sexuality are. “Oh, do you want to see my boooooobs? Sigh, well, I guess that can be arranged, oh wait the camera is already fading to black well you get the point byeeee” I guess they figured they could coast off the raw appeal of Delon, Andress and Mifune, and Bronson’s weird ‘stache.

From its opening Coplandesque strains and harmonica ditties to the clapboard saloon where Kuroda and Link find Cristina, it’s almost quaint how hard this film was trying to dip into the success of Spaghetti westerns like those created by Sergio Leone. Shot in Spain, this does boast some striking landscape photography, and the film really does make a meal out of insert shots of the sun blazing in the sky overhead. Some brilliant screenwriter really came to the conclusion that the sun emblem on the Japanese flag could have a double in its literal sense here and ran with it. But elsewhere it’s almost cute to see the movie trying so hard. Bright scarlet tempera paint spatters actors taken out by gunfire or katana, the film in parts becoming something of a hybrid jidaigeki as Kuroda hacks through baddies by the score. Westerns’ tendencies to use various indigenous tribes as MCU faceless baddies is always gauche, but here it is rather amusing that whoever was in charge of wardrobe and hair for the Comanche found a bunch of Raggedy Ann-ass braided wigs and was like “this is fine.” Is this one of the all-time greats as far as the Western is concerned? Ehhh… But it’s a fun cultural exchange romp with plenty of enjoyable action.

THE RULES

PICK ONE

Select either THE PRESIDENT or THE EMPEROR/MIKADO and sip whenever that leader is mentioned.

SIP

Someone gets shot.

Gauche is name-dropped.

Image of the Sun.

BIG DRINK

Kuroda unties a knot.

Someone tumbles down a slope.