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hes-a-rat-whisperer · 9 months ago
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Hey Alistair Whatcha think about gaags~? ;3
Alistair sighed deeply, covering his face with his palm as he thought of how much rather he'd be dealing with Pep right now instead of these filthy cretins and their even filthier minds..
"there isn't anything that could possibly satiate the vulgar hunger for private information you people possess, is there?" he said.
"well, too bad. the only thing I am going to say on the matter is that gags are useless to me."
with one swift, far too abrupt motion, the brit seized the asker's throat with one hand, digging his nails deep into his skin. "what fun would mangling and tearing apart flesh really be, if I wasn't able to hear my victim's deafening screams, pointless pleads and desperate gurgles for breath before I see the light fade from their eyes?"
a dark chuckle passed his lips as he smiled. "if they still have their eyes through the whole procedure, of course.."
...
okay, now on to the actual information:
Alistair, fo pretty obvious reasons, used to hate gags! or rather, he was uneasy whenever he was presented with one (by Ceb and/or Fel) with the intention of having him wear it.
however, it was an unease that gradually went away with the help of his loving and patient partners
and over time, he began to like it! at first, he found it to be a pretty good solution to his own noises (because he HATES the noises he makes during lovemaking- he finds them to be horrid) but eventually he simply enjoyed having something to bite into, whilst his lovers go rather rough on him asdfghjkl
but he also just loves how excited Ceb gets about them! mind you, it's always Ceb who introduces toys and gadgets into their 'bedtime', while Alistair would never even think about something so scandalous!
but Alistair's almost pearl clutching shock over it gets replaced by curiosity and intruige VERY quickly when he sees just how enthusiastic Ceb is and even moreso when he tells him that he "picked them out just for him"
(because wow, that really gets this man's heart going!! @///u///@)
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codenamejudas · 1 year ago
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CHARACTER BIO TEMPLATE
GENERAL INFORMATION
NAME: Alexi Dauer NICKNAMES/TITLES: Agent Judas (MECH)/ Judy (Dennis)/ Red Star (Yin)/ Gingersnap (Bev) SPECIES: Human AGE: 41 PRONOUNS: He/She/They DATE OF BIRTH: 27 August 1969 NOTE-WORTHY ABILITIES: Skilled guitar player, above average immune system, lockpicking, pickpocketing, good with people. CURRENT RESIDENCE: Verse-dependent; default is in his Kia. OCCUPATION: Agent working for MECH: record-keeping, secret other thing. Busker. Bandmate. AFFILIATIONS: MECH. SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English (and German in some verses)
PERSONALITY
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic neutral ASSETS: One car, three guitars, tackle box full of cool rocks FLAWS: Reckless, liar, immature, self-destructive LIKES: Food (as long as it isn't spicy), music (he'll listen to anything; it's better than silence), soft and comforting things (pillows especially), social gatherings, birds apparently DISLIKES: Physical labour, the desert, anything that puts kids in harm's way FEARS/PHOBIAS: Earthquakes, electric shocks, wings/a very specific type of flying
CONNECTIONS
FAMILY: No surviving immediate family BUT: Jaden and Dennis/ Bev and Cora FRIENDS: Joel and Oscar (bandmate NPCs), pretty much everyone out here EXCEPT Achim ROMANTIC INTEREST: Verse-dependent! (Defaults so far are Jaden and Bev) ENEMIES: Pearson (MECH NPC), Achim
FACTS AND TRIVIA
-Judas doesn't have a Shattered Glass equivalent, nor any other human equivalent across the TF multiverse. He's one of a kind.
-his fear of earthquakes and flight are both relatively recent acquisitions. he's still fine in the work helicopters.
-if he starts talking AT you about trivia, it's because he's hiding something. usually emotions.
-his go to method when meeting people is mimicry, both verbal and physical, until he can judge what bits of himself are socially appropriate.
GENERAL INFORMATION
NAME:
NICKNAMES/TITLES:
SPECIES:
AGE:
PRONOUNS:
DATE OF BIRTH:
NOTE-WORTHY ABILITIES:
CURRENT RESIDENCE:
OCCUPATION:
AFFILIATIONS:
SPOKEN LANGUAGES:
PERSONALITY
ALIGNMENT:
ASSETS:
FLAWS:
LIKES:
DISLIKES:
FEARS/PHOBIAS:
CONNECTIONS
FAMILY:
FRIENDS:
ROMANTIC INTEREST:
ENEMIES:
OTHERS:
FACTS AND TRIVIA
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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mielmoto · 2 years ago
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excuse me, national what day?
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finally. a holiday worth celebrating.
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may you all breast boobily today. amen.
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veydris · 1 month ago
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# 🇻​​ 🇪 ​​🇾​​ 🇩 ​​🇷 ​​🇮 ​​🇸 ​dain veydris of planet ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮. warlord of the extinct people. the final man. star wars original character / lore.
            ᴸᴬᵂ ᴵᴺᶠᴼᴿᴹᴬᵀᴵᴼᴺ
dain  veydris  is  a  former  inhabitant  of  the  extinct  planet  of  vharnis—a  barren  ice  planet  within  the  outer  rim  best  identified  by  the  mining  of  its  precious  metals.  the  grandson  of  ronon  veydris,  a  jedi  master  who  chose  to  abstain  himself  of  his  fame,  dain  veydris  was  always  burdened  with  power.  the  boy  grew  up  beneath  the  ruling  hand  of  the  empire,  as  did  his  parents  before  him.  his  father  worked  the  mines  while  his  mother  did  her  best  at  home.  with  the  destruction  of  the  empire,  the  tyranny  was  thought  to  lift.  vharnis,  a  forgotten  planet,  was  not  eliminated  of  their  government,  instead  reinhabited  by  the  surviving  members  of  the  empire  extremists—who  soon  transitioned  into  the  founders  of  the  first  order.
veydris,  a  young  man,  gathered  men  of  the  mines.  younger  than  he,  and  those  as  old  as  his  father.  under  his  command  a  group  of  revolutionists  formed.  the  revolution  was  successful  for  nearly  twelve  years  before  the  public  announcement  of  the  first  order.  deemed  a  liberation  of  the  planet  vharnis,  a  detroyer  squadron  landed  amongst  the  mines,  effectively  wiping  out  the  majority  of  the  men  that  stood  against  them.  dain  veydris  was  made  to  watch,  taken  into  custody  and  removed  from  his  planet.  he  is  brought  to  his  knees  and  forced  upon  his  fate,  watching  as  a  major  fleet  decimated  the  planet.
held  in  a  minor  prisoner  of  war  vessel  of  the  fleet,  dain  finds  his  opportunity  to  escape,  murdering  her  crew  and  taking  control.  once  complete,  he  flew  to  the  planet  of  vardos,  docking  her  amongst  other  military  and  political  fleets.  he  detonated  the  ship  and  made  his  escape,  where  he  disappeared  into  the  depths  of  the  planet  and  next  the  galaxy.  he  would  later  track  down  his  grandfather's  lightsaber,  previously  stolen  from  him  by  a  rear  admiral,  slaughtering  the  crew  to  score  the  weapon  back,  which  he  would  later  use  in  his  bounty  hunting  efforts,  effectively  named  warlord  of  the  extinct  peoples.
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kachikirby · 6 months ago
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IF YOU LIVE IN THE US, PLEASE READ THIS
Posting this from the bird app since I hope it can help people.
People have been contacting the White House directly to demand a recount, especially since there has been evidence that not every ballot has been counted and will be thrown away if it hasn't been cured.
The link to contact the White House is here!
The following screenshot comes from here!
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If you need help writing something, check under the cut! I've provided a prewritten response from one of the replies!
"I am a concerned citizen, and I need you to hear me. I urge you to recount the ballots from this election and investigate election interference. Bomb threats have been called into multiple polling locations, causing some to close early. Domestic terrorists have burned ballot boxes. An unprecedented number of ballots have been rejected and require curing. There have been reports of polling officers allowing voter intimidation in and outside of polling places across the country and an estimated 20 million mail in ballots are unaccounted for. In addition, many people have reported that ballots were not counted for suspicious reasons such as signature invalidation which is information that vote counters do not have access to. These events have occurred in swing states such as Pennsylvania, Nevada, and Georgia, for instance."
Feel free to add and change what you want, this is just a base for you to work off of.
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lakecountylibrary · 10 months ago
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We don’t have a uniform, why do you ask?
Inspired by our friends at Rapid City Public Library (link goes to TikTok). Music only - sound not needed.
[Video Description: A librarian with glasses wearing a polo shirt and shelving books answers an unheard question from someone offscreen. His words are inaudible but the caption reads "The librarian wearing the cardigan and glasses will be able to help you." Video cuts to an information desk where four librarians wearing cardigans and glasses are working. They all turn and wave as four more librarians wearing cardigans and glasses pop out from behind the desk and wave. The librarian from the beginning walks on screen and puts on his own cardigan. And waves.]
Music credit: George Street Shuffle Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
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babezoi · 4 months ago
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how to draw horses(for the discerning horse girl)
i spent two years working in barns to give you this information. use it wisely
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view all 16 parts under the cut!
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hopefully this guide will inspire you to draw the cowboys you've always dreamed of
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sexybread-png · 4 months ago
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happy new yuri!!
more information under the cut
- first drawing of the year, gelphie kiss from urs truly
- elphaba craddling gelphie baby
- gelphie for wicked themed magma with moots
- little comic of vampalinda:))
- vampalinda with a little bit of blood oops
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saipoms · 5 months ago
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           ℂ𝔸ℝℝ𝔻.   ℙ𝕃𝔸𝕐𝕃𝕀𝕊𝕋.
  ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩  a  woman   as   acquainted  with   death  as   it  is  with   her .  katie   hogan .  original  character  set  in  lore  loosely  based  on  the  idea  of  the  psychopomp  from  various  mythologies .  independent,  private  and  mutuals   only .  please  read  all  provided  information  and  rules,  triggering  content  present  but  not  overwhelming .   a  blatant  study  of  nostalgia ,   the  loneliness  of  the   arkansas  daughter,  the long  term  coping of depression ,  the  ironically  alive  psychopomp  and  watching  fear  grip  the  world .
         ────── ა ♡ ໒ ──────
name: katie  olive  hogan. alias:  olive  oil  (  by  her  father  ). parents: thomas hogan ( father ), rachel hogan ( mother ). siblings: evelyn hogan † ( sister ).
birthday:  november  29th,  1993 age:  29  (  in  primary  verses  ).  place  of  birth:  hot  springs,  arkansas. current  residence:  jasper,  arkansas  (  verse  dependent  ).
gender:  cisgender  female. orientation: bisexual,  with  a  male  preference.
occupation:  owns  her  own  diner  in  jasper,  arkansas,  named  after  her  sister,  evelyn. previous  jobs:  worked  in  oklahoma  for  a  brief  time,  pushing  cattle.  before,  had  numerous  jobs  waiting  or  bussing  tables.  later, worked breaking horses for a small community ranch in texas.
tattoos:  one,  the  greek  god  thanatos  on  her  left  calf.  scars: multiple  in  different  locations,  from  different  causes.  physical  ailments:  diagnosed  bipolar  (  type  II  )  disorder.
education:  obtained  her  high  school  diploma,  college  was  never  completed. religion:  southern  baptist. criminal  record:  none.
         ────── ა ♡ ໒ ──────
katie  hogan  isn't  sure  if  she  was  born  the  way  she  turns  out  —  clinging  to  questions  about  the  morbidity  of  death.  the  church  wanted  her  to  believe  a  certain  simplicity  in  it,  and  as  a  girl  she  was  gullible.  raised  by  a  god  fearing  father  and  complacent  mother,  never  was  there  an  option  to  question  the  things  she  wasn't  so  sure  made  sense.  she  felt  even  apprehensive  towards  her  sister,  who  was  three  years  her  senior.  the  two  girls  were  raised  strictly,  albeit  lovingly,  two  sets  of  grandparents  to  share  christmases  with,  the  american  dream  acreage  in  their  backyard,  horses,  a  dog  that  sometimes  barked  too  loud  at  night,  and  many,  many  multiplying  kittens  under  the  porch.
her  sister  would  not  come  home  one  night.  katie  hogan  was  sixteen  when  she  heard  her  mother  scream  at  first  responders  over  the  phone.  rachel  left  in  a  hurry,  leaving  katie  behind  to  wonder.  she  practically  paced  the  walls  of  their  living  room  in  wait,  hearing  no  news  from  her  mother  and  feeling  no  comfort  from  her  father's  absence.  she  would  get  the  call  eight  hours  later  that  evelyn  hogan  had  been  pronounced  dead  on  arrival  to  the  st.  vincent's  hospital  at  10:37pm.
evelyn  would  visit  her  sister,  however.  the  night  of  her  passing,  she  joined  katie  at  the  edge  of  her  bed,  cradling  her  shoulder  while  she  sobbed.  in  one  sudden  moment,  she  was  imbued  by  death.  her  heart  broke  for  a  final  time  as  she  forced  away  the  presence  of  her  older  sister  in  fear.  she  knew  not  the  source  of  her  gooseflesh,  why  the  hairs  at  the  edge  of  her  neck  stood,  why  her  tears  felt  washed  away  by  an  overwhelming  force.  the  feeling  felt  like  listening  to  a  voicemail  for  the  final  time.  but  a  sixteen  year  old  girl's  fear  was  powerful,  and  her  sister's  presence  faded  as  rejected.  the  atmospheric  emptiness  was  felt.
it  wasn't  very  long  after  evelyn's  death  that  her  father  left  —  a  shell  of  the  ball  throwing,  horse  riding,  loving  father  he  had  been  over  the  years  —  and  katie's  mother  never  made  a  full  recovery.  after  his  withdrawal,  rachel  moved  her  then  eighteen  year  old  daughter  to  a  small  town  outside  of  the  city.  katie  would  finish  high  school  with  lackluster  grades,  and  would  attempt  college  the  following  year,  but  would  not  complete  a  full  year  before  dropping  out  abruptly.
distant  then  from  her  mother,  she  chose  at  twenty  years  old  to  join  a  group  of  cowboys  on  their  way  back  to  oklahoma,  where  they  promised  to  teach  her  enough  to  make  it  a  career.  she  would  do  as  told,  learning  quick.  she  learned,  however,  she  was  unable  to  stomach  the  deaths  on  the  property.  often  she  would  sit  with  the  animals,  awaiting  their  passing  before  burying  them  herself,  unforgetting  the  work  of  art  that  death  can  be.  the  serenity  in  a  peaceful  passing.  all  the  things  her  sister  did  not  get.  regrets  settle,  and  she  calls  her  mom.
she  returns  home  after  a  year,  embracing  her  mother  with  an  earth  shattering  cry.  the  two  share  their  memories  of  the  past  year,  her  mother's  grown  old.  rachel  asks  her  to  aid  in  flipping  an  old  gas  station  that  hadn't  seen  a  customer  since  the  late  nineties.  she  agrees,  and  the  two  of  them  transform  it  into  a  lovely  diner  named  for  their  lovely  evelyn.
katie  struggled  largely  with  mental  health  for  those  first  few  years,  flitting  between  her  mother's  diner  and  the  road.  she  would  spend  half  a  year  down  in  the  throes  of  west  texas,  working  on  a  small  community  ranch  breaking  colts.  on  one  of  her  many  expeditions,  she  encountered  a  kitten  on  the  side  of  the  road.  the  day  was  hot,  the  road  boiling,  the  baby  companionless,  and  katie  abruptly  received  the  same  feeling  she  did  when  evelyn  died.  except  this  time,  she  did  not  shove  it  away.  she  understood,  getting  out  of  her  truck  to  approach  the  mewling  thing  in  the  road,  scooping  him  up  in  her  hand.  her  hatred  of  death  returned  to  her.  she  would  not  let  this  baby  die.  scared  and  crying,  the  kitten  gazed  up  at  her,  head  wobbling  with  his  age,  she  recounted  that  he  suddenly  was  not  so  scared.  she  would  not  let  him  die.  she  named  him  monkey,  and  he  did  not  die.
when  she  returned  home  for  a  final  time,  her  mother  came  down  ill.  she  found  ghosts  were  real  after  rachel  hogan  passed  after  five  months  of  fighting  congestive  heart  failure.  katie,  twenty-five,  was  gifted  the  diner  through  her  mother's  will,  where  she  would  remain.
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girlwithrituals · 6 months ago
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GLOW UP GUIDE FOR 2025⠀
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READ: On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And considering that 2025 is precisely these many days away, why not start with our glow up plan already?
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Physical Glow Up-
BODY
— 5-10K steps a day.
— 7-8 hours of sleep.
— workout everyday for 1 hr atleast- yoga/stretching/pilates/cardio/lifting weights. a workout may take one hour, but your mood will be boosted for the next 12 hours.
— posture training.
— sunlight exposure after waking up for at least 10 minutes.
NUTRITION
— 2-3 liters of water every day.
— limit your caffeine intake.
— avoid sugars as much as you can.
— high protein diet, pre and probiotics.
— more fruits and veggies (+ green smoothies if you like).
— no junk/processed food/trans fat.
— no eating after 8 pm.
SKINCARE
— be clear on your skin type (oily, dry, combination, sensitive).
— once you're clear, use these accordingly- cleanser, toner, targeted serum, eye cream, moisturizer, sunscreen (≥50 spf).
— keep your bedding clean as well.
— no picking of skin on your lips, cuticle etc.
— gua sha to help improve blood circulation and lessen toxins.
— cold therapy may take three to five minutes of being uncomfortable, but your energy levels will be boosted for the rest of the day.
— remove makeup before you go to bed.
BODY CARE
— shower every day.
— exfoliate 2x a week.
— use body lotion (shea butter/aloe vera gel/coconut oil).
HAIR CARE
— wash hair 2-3x a week
— oil your scalp 2x a week, at least 3 hours before shampoo.
— hair mask 1x per week.
— never brush wet hair.
— use silk pillow case.
HYGIENE
— brush your teeth 2x a day, clean tongue and the roof of the mouth daily.
— floss daily.
— cut your nails 1x a week, never remove the cuticles.
— glycolic acid under arm for odor and discoloration.
— never use soap on your coochie.
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Mental Glow Up-
MINDSET
— set clear goals- define and breakdown your aspirations.
— start your mornings with positive affirmations.
— surround yourself with uplifting content and people.
— be shamelessly selfish to your career and mental health, remove anyone or anything that doesn't align with your priorities and wellbeing.
— boost your brain health by these 4 neuroscience tools:
difficult first: start your day with the most difficult task (cortisol and dopamine are high in the body meaning that your body/mind is primed to work).
rest your eyes: introduce a micro-pause after learning by resting/closing your eyes - will help retain information better.
tomorrow's worries: write tomorrow's to-do list before bed as it is proven to be effective in helping you fall asleep.
find time to play: engage in low-stake play. can be anything you find fun but where the outcome doesn't matter (induces neuroplasticity + reduces stress).
MIND
— meditation might take as low as ten minutes, but your focus will be improved for the rest of the day.
— no social media after waking up and at least an hour before bed.
— keep aside 1 hr of time to read daily! reading a new book may take five hours, but you will keep the knowledge forever.
— journaling, gratitude.
— digital detox once a week or for 12 hours.
— limit unnecessary screentime, unfollow or cut off people you don't want to see.
JOURNALING
— choose a regular time each day to journal, making it a part of your routine.
— find a quiet, comfortable place free from distractions. light a candle if you want.
— allow your thoughts to flow without censoring or editing.
— write about your feelings and emotions to understand them better. write about things you are thankful for to boost your mood. write about your short-term and long-term goals. identify what triggers certain emotions or reactions
— set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write continuously during that time.
— reflect on both positive experiences and challenges.
— make lists, journal your thoughts on these questions.
— journal at night to clear your mind before bedtime, because emotions and thoughts lose their power once we acknowledge them.
— a gratitude practice may take five minutes, but your mindset will be shifted for the rest of the day.
AFFIRMATIONS
— customise affirmations to your needs.
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Personal Life-
WEEKLY TASKS
— initiate small changes: begin with small, manageable tasks such as making your bed or cleaning your room every sunday.
— celebrate your success: reward yourself when you achieve your goals or have a consistently productive week. consider treats like buying flowers for yourself or watching your favorite show.
DAILY WORK
— set achievable goals: establish realistic goals for the day, week, or month ahead.
— track your progress.
— organise your work space, declutter your shelves etc.
— embrace the power of lists: keep a list of tasks to be done and their deadlines. this way, you start each day with a clear plan. to make it visually appealing and motivating, consider using productivity apps like evernote, habit tracker, or notion.
PRODUCTIVITY TIPS
— wake up early.
— plan ahead everything, do scheduling. you can use:
google calendar / notion / tasks .
— if the task takes less than 2 minutes to finish, do it immediately.
— countdown rule, if you are procrastinating, count 1-2-3-4-5 and jump.
— start slow, don't rush and try to do everything at one time.
— follow a proper routine, use app locks based on screentime.
— pomodoro technique, 25 min work, and 5 min break.
— schedule longer break times as well e.g 30 min nap.
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golyhawhaw · 1 month ago
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Metropolitan Facial Hair
Greetings everyone. Here is a bog-standard medium length beard for your sims! The beard shape reminds me of a city-goer hence the given name. Download and other information under the cut.
Included Files:
Metropolitan Facial Hair(.package)
Additional Details:
HQ Mod Compatible
644 Polygons
24 Swatches(Maxis)
Download
Public Access 20th of April 2025
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queriesntheories · 2 years ago
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REBLOGS ARE OFF CAUSE THIS GUIDE IS TERRIBLE AND YOU DESERVE BETTER
I will instead redirect you to THIS more comprehensive guide, and cobalt.tools. Cobalt solves the problem of low quality video when you're done with VLC, and it can also take videos from a dozen other social media platforms.
Support the cobalt dev and the better guide writer, not me. I'm just a person who boiled down a wikihow guide and a youtube tutorial into a TLDR. I did not do very much work. They have.
I might turn reblogs back on, but for now I implore you to put your attention where it's needed most. Thanks for understanding. (original post under the cut)
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alright i am sick of yt to mp4 sites being shady and full of viruses and finding websites that seem to be working and then don't work
so HERE'S HOW YOU DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS WITH VLC!! VLC FREAKIN RULES!!
get your youtube link
open vlc, go to media > open network stream
paste your url in the box and PRESS PLAY!
wait for the video to open then go to tools > codec information
copy the entire file location (click the box, then ctrl-a to select all, then ctrl-c to copy)
paste into your browser of choice (i use firefox)
right click video and press "save video as", choose your file format if you want
DONE! NO VIRUSES OR SKETCHY STUFF!
the quality might be a little crummy but if you don't mind that, then shabam! video on your computer! then you can email it to yourself and have it on your phone too if you want! if you need a guide with pictures wikihow has you covered my friends
happy downloading and stay safe on the internet :D
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sabertoothwalrus · 3 months ago
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Ace Attorney: Trials in Paradise 🌅
— an AA7 fan concept —
Initial Premise:
Since it’s designed for the Switch 2 (and thus made for a larger screen), the game will almost always have 2-3 characters on screen at a time, and will feature dozens of unique interaction animations between all sorts of character combos.
There has been another 7 year timeskip.
The old judge retired, and the new judge is his granddaughter!
The jurist system is featured.
This concept is heavily based around these designs.
The characters would have multiple outfits throughout the game, which become unlockable costumes, much like the DLC costumes of DD, SoJ, and TGAA games.
While this is way too specific to truly be a "prediction" of what aa7 could be, I tried to keep it (mostly) realistic to what I thought could actually be in an ace attorney game!
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📦 Case 1: Turnabout Homecoming
Trucy left the nest and Phoenix doesn’t like living alone anymore, so Phoenix is moving into Edgeworth’s house. Apollo— who recently got his driver's license— was driving the moving van, and was accused because a body had been found in the vehicle. The true killer was one of the movers. I like the idea that you'd have to look through boxes for evidence, maybe the murder weapon was hidden within their belongings.
Defendant: Apollo Defense: Phoenix Weird Girl: Edgeworth Prosecutor: Diana Payne (Winston’s daughter) Detective: (drumroll…) Godot!! Witnesses: Larry (he was helping with the move), Leslie (one of the movers) Victim: Bee(another one of the movers) Killer: Anne(third mover)
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(rest of the cases and a lotttt more art under the cut ↓ )
🎢 Case 2: Rollercoaster Turnabout
Maya and Pearl are on vacation at Blue Badger Land. Pearl is accused of murder after a body is found on an unpopular attraction that only Pearl enjoys going on. As an aside, Gumshoe is retired from detective work, and now works as a dog trainer. He trained Armando's service dog, Spot O'Coffee. Wendy Oldbag also serves as a witness, but she's pretty old at this point. Her memory has become fuzzy with age, and her testimonies begin to mix up information from other trials (which will be little references to previous games).
Defendant: Pearl Defense: Apollo Weird Girl: Maya Prosecutor: Klavier Detective: Godot Witnesses: Gumshoe (and his kids, Callum & Beau), Wendy Oldbag, Ride Operator Victim: Ride Safety Inspector Killer: Park Manager
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💍 Case 3: My Love, Turnabout
Klavier has arranged a collab performance between Trucy and Lamiroir. Hugh Dini, Trucy's assistant and boyfriend, is accused when his stunt double is found dead. Hugh is very cagey about his alibi, but it's because he was planning to propose and didn't want Trucy to know yet. Franziska takes this and spins it into a jealousy plot, and insinuates he killed his stunt double out of envy. Because Hugh is actually pretty shy, he has a habit of not speaking up, which only incriminates him further. A twist in the case is revealed during a cross-examination when it turns out the "gold band" the witness is referring to wasn't Hugh's engagement ring, but instead about a gold bangle. This immediately puts Apollo under suspicion, until Phoenix drops a hint that someone else (Lamiroir) has a gold bracelet as well. The truth about Trucy and Apollo's sibling relationship is revealed when Athena finds an unexpected emotion in Phoenix's mood matrix, and Lamiroir decides it’s time to break the news.
Defendant: Hugh Dini Defense: Athena Weird Girl: Phoenix, Apollo (← steps in when Phoenix has to get cross-examined) Prosecutor: Franziska Detective: Ema Witnesses: Lamiroir, Trucy, Hugh Dini Fangirl Victim: Hugh's Stunt Double Killer: Jealous Trucy Stan
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🏝️ Case 4: The Getaway
This one isn’t a traditional case.
After Manfred Von Karma divorced his first wife, Bianka, he moved to Europe, and his previous home was left uninhabited until his eldest daughter, Karla Von Karma, discovers she has inherited it. She decides to turn the beachside property into a bed & breakfast, and invites her half-sister Franziska and adoptive brother Edgeworth to give the manor a trial run and let her know if it’s suitable for visitors. Edgeworth brings along Wright Anything Agency, because… why not treat them to a break?
But of course, their vacation quickly takes a turn when they find a literal skeleton in the closet.
Not all of the rooms in the estate had been searched. Manfred’s study has a large, padlocked safe, and Karla hadn’t gotten around to hiring a locksmith to open it for her. Phoenix tries “0001” for the hell of it, and the only thing more surprising than that combination successfully opening the safe is the body folded up inside.
They can’t imagine the killer was anyone other than Manfred Von Karma, but— since he’s already been executed— they’re not sure if a trial even needs to be held. They need to investigate the situation to determine with absolute certainty it was, in fact, Von Karma, because otherwise they’d need to find a new suspect. Obviously, the group of criminal justice lawyers aren’t not going to get to the bottom of it.
Except Apollo, who has decided he wants nothing to do with solving the murder. He came on this trip for a vacation, dammit, and that's exactly what he's gonna do. He heads back outside to the beach, and leaves everyone else to the investigation.
The first mystery is figuring out when the murder happened. The police arrive, and Ema estimates that the remains are about 30-40 years old, which is around the time the Von Karma family moved out. Since Manfred & Bianka had divorced in 1999, they start to wonder if Manfred had even still been residing here when the murder took place, but the body is found with a train ticket dated for January of 2002. A time period that just so happens to line up with the one singular vacation Manfred took during his entire career— to recover from a gunshot wound that he couldn’t even trust a doctor with knowing about.
The body is wearing a housekeeper's uniform, and they identify her as Ophelia Falsch. They conclude that she was killed because she had discovered Manfred’s injury, and he wanted to eliminate the witness. They think they have the case over and done with, but then Ema comes back with the dental analysis. She explains there was no dental record of an "Ophelia Falsch", but the teeth did match Bianka Von Karma.
This raises some questions. Why was Bianka dressed as Ophelia? Was there a more personal reason Manfred could have killed his ex-wife? Could Ophelia have been involved as well?
Since the murder happened so long ago, they don't even know where to begin with finding witnesses. Karla was 18 at the time of the murder, and had just moved out, so she wasn't present. Edgeworth, of all people, is the one to suggest an unconventional idea: why not ask Von Karma himself?
The manor is in a remote location that's only accessible by train or boat, and since it's late, Maya won't be able to get there until the next morning. In the meantime, they check up on Apollo, only to find him getting scolded by a woman about having his chair on the beach. She explains that she's Karla's daughter, Angelika Von Karma, and that she's impassioned about marine ecology. She just discovered the beach had become a nesting site for an endangered species of sea turtles, and is worried about disrupting it.
The next morning, Maya arrives, and Phoenix and Edgeworth hold a mock trial in the foyer. Manfred is channeled, but is uncooperative, so they try... a different method. Phoenix and Edgeworth perform a reenactment of how they think the murder happened, while Trucy and Athena watch Manfred to see if they can glean any information based on his reactions.
Manfred breaks down and confesses to the murder, but is telling the truth when he says that he didn't know the victim was Bianka; he did, in fact, think he had killed a housekeeper who found out about his gunshot wound. After this, his spirit is released.
As puzzling as this is— who was Ophelia, anyway?— they can't do anymore investigating because Karla has become very upset. The whole ordeal has caused long-repressed emotions to resurface. She's always felt a little bit resentful towards Franziska because their father left Bianka for Franziska's mother, Levina, and always felt like she had her family taken from her. On top of that, Manfred had done everything he could to get full custody of Karla in the divorce, and she never saw her mother again. She's angry that that wasn't enough— he'd gone and killed her too.
Karla and Franziska get into a big fight, and the whole trip ends up cancelled.
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🚂 Case 5: Turnabout Train Car
They all board the train to head home. The mood is really awkward and it's kind of a bummer. Since the train is only way out of the area, Karla has to board as well, albeit in another car.
And because nothing is ever easy, there’s a murder on the train.
The victim was the owner of the train, Diesel Porter. He was found in his private sleeping room, and the only other room on that train car was being occupied by Karla, so naturally, she is accused.
Since Ema and the police are already on the train, they’re able to take control of the situation until the train makes it back to town. The Wright Anything Agency isn’t allowed to investigate the crime scene much, so they opt to interrogate the other odd passengers.
They get a helpful tip from the train’s bartender that Cole Porter, son of Diesel Porter, had been making plans to build a resort. They also find out that the train company had been losing money, since they weren’t getting many passengers.
The next day in court, Phoenix claims Cole killed his father to inherit the company, but Cole denies it because, why would he want to inherit a dying company? And Phoenix turns it around by bringing up the resort plans and how he wanted to build it on Karla’s property. He couldn’t just kill Karla, because then they’d have to take care of Angelika and Franziska too, so they needed Karla to feel like she had no choice but to sell it.
The trial goes to recess and Cole is apprehended for questioning, but at that moment they get word that someone else has just been murdered on the train— the bartender from before.
Phoenix goes back to the train investigate and boards when it’s stopped on the mountaintop station. While he’s investigating the train’s caboose, Cole’s wife, Electra, detaches it from the rest of the train. Cole and his wife were in cahoots! Phoenix is sent hurtling backwards down the mountain in the runaway car, and manages to pull the emergency brake just before reaching the bottom. He’s ended up back by the manor, and calls to have a boat sent to pick him up.
While he waits, he finds Angelika is still here studying the turtles. She gives him permission to go inside the manor again to investigate. He finds the deed to the house, along with an old photo that has a letter written on the back. It’s addressed to Bianka from Levina (Franziska’s mother).
The case is solved when Phoenix proves that both Cole & Electra Porter were involved in the murders. The land becomes protected by the government in order to keep the sea turtles safe, since they are endangered.
After the trial, Phoenix shows Karla and Franziska the letter he’d found. It turns out Levina hired Bianka as a housekeeper under the alias “Ophelia” so that she could still see her daughter Karla. The photo depicts a teenage Karla playing with a baby Franziska. Levina and Bianka had a good relationship, and had made efforts to keep their families together.
Karla and Franziska apologize to each other, and agree to get along better.
Defendant: Karla Von Karma Defense: Phoenix Weird Girl: Athena & Apollo Prosecutor: Franziska Detective: Ema & Godot Witnesses: Train Conductor, Old Passenger, Tain Bartender Victim: Diesel Porter Killer: Cole & Electra Porter
💃 (DLC) Case 6: Turnabout Runway
Klavier has been invited as a guest judge for a fashion tv competition. He invites Pearl (and Apollo) to the shooting as an apology for accusing her for murder & because of their shared interest in fashion. "Lip sync for your life" but literally.
Defendant: Lady Killer Defense: Athena Weird Girl: Pearl Prosecutor: Blackquill Detective: Ema Witnesses: ensemble of drag queens/models, Klavier Victim: Taxi Macabre Killer: Paul Rue
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kkusuka · 20 days ago
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this is in the "141 and john price's wife" universe. still gn pronouns. i also don't think price texts that much- old man syndrome.
the 141 absolutely have a group chat dedicated to pictures and information (porn) about their little wife.
it starts, as many silly things do, with johnny and a picture of you asleep on the couch. cuddled into the armrest covered in the tortilla blanket he'd gotten you as a gag gift, and it was just too good not to share. (although he only sent one of the thirty he actually took, he's gotta keep as much of you to himself as he can.)
then it was kyle with you in the yard, laying in the grass after cutting down branches in the sweltering heat (something john would never let you do if he'd know about it, but he appreciates the flush of your cheeks and the angle of the photo makes it seem as if you were under him doing another strenuous activity.)
and it continues like that for months, cute little pictures of you gardening with price, walking with simon, watching tv between kyle and johnny- just sharing the daily life of their pretty bird.
but the real nature of the group chat doesn’t start until simon sends a picture of you bent over, putting something in the oven, in the tiny, red daisy duke shorts that are only just long enough to be considered inappropriate for the public.
sr: fuckin' lucky that shit only takes 10 minutes to cook or we'd be in the kitchen all day.
soap: fuuuuuuuuckin' hell
kyle: don't rub it in simon, we'll be home in two days
sr: don't worry, i'll warm 'em up for you
price: Behave yourselves.
and it all just unravels from there.
john's the next culprit. he has loads and loads of less than decent pictures of you, perks of being the first husband, but he's not reaching into the stash for this one. he has a point to make: if anyone's getting off to pictures of his wife, he's gonna be the one sending them.
it's barely two hours after the other three left that something is sent into the chat. face down, ass up, cunt dripping with cum as price uses his thumb to keep your pussy open to the camera, the rest of his hand palm down on your ass, the ring on his finger glistening in the flash.
sr: fuckin' filthy captain
soap: BRING ME BACK, PUT ME IN CAPTAIN
kyle: tell 'em i said thank you
it's not surprising that the minute he comes back, johnny's on you. methodically placing the camera, making sure it captures all of you and his face buried between your thighs. it wasn't the first video sent into the chat but it's definitely one of the best ones.
your head thrown back, hands in his hair, gripping what you can so you can grind your pussy on his tongue. his phone is just close enough to hear your small pants and groans as he sucks on your swollen clit.
soap: i could spend the rest of my life right there
sr: you let 'em fuck yer face like that?
soap: lt i'd let 'em gag me
soap: then step on my dick
soap: then leave me on the floor to rot
*kyle, price, and sr disliked three messages*
soap: like you fuckers wouldn't
and kyle is not a man to be left out, but he is also not as keen on sharing his private time with you as johnny is. so there aren't videos coming from him, instead he has 4k close ups of your tits after he spent almost an hour sucking hickeys into every part of your chest he could reach.
and kyle is like an artist, he makes sure your hair is splayed out perfectly, and that you're just fucked out enough to give him a bright smile. he also makes sure that the locket they gave you, the one that's has their names engraved on the inside, sits perfectly above the swell of your boobs. and goddamn is he proud of his pictures. (it's not hard for you to look pretty in pictures because you're already pretty but kyle thinks he's the best at actually capturing it).
soap: another two things i would put my face between until i suffocate
*sr, price, and kyle disliked a message*
soap: go fuck urselves
and simon is just mean, fingers peaking under your panties, finding your clit just to sit there, finger pressed on your bud, only moving for a few seconds before falling still again; his other hand hold your hips down so you can't do anything but wait for him to move again. and he does it the entire length of the manchester game until your panties are completely soaked through.
soap: stone cold, lt. stone cold.
but before he can do anything, he has to take his picture so the other fools can remember what a whore you are for him. and because it's between games he'll let you sit on his dick and grind into him during commercial breaks. maybe he'll even film in and send it to the guys, let them see you drip all over his lap whole stretching to fit him in your cunt.
but whether his team loses or wins, he'll flip you over and fuck you into the couch cushions, so at least you get that!
then they're all away on a mission, and you know about their little chat (it's hard not to when suddenly they have a camera out every time you're in their vicinity.) so you take it upon yourself to give them their fix. and why not play around with them well you're ar it?
it starts when you go shopping merely three days after they left. they tear up your bras and underwear so obviously you would need to buy more eventually. but usually when you go shopping one of them is with you to share their opinions, but since they're away, you just have to send pictures instead!
a whole catalog, in facts. you've got angles, dressing room lighting, and a whole lot of time on your hands.
*you sent 22 photos to 'the bird house'*
you: i can't choose :(((
you: help me out?
kyle: give me 6 hours to fly home and i'll help you with anything
price: Looks great. But I can't tell from the pictures, you'll have to try them all on again when I get home.
soap: licking the screen isn't working, captain i think i need to go home.
*sr saved 22 photos to Camera Roll*
kyle: smooth riley, real smooth.
and of course it doesn't end there. you have a chance to torture them a little bit with zero consequences and you're going to take it.
but it takes a while for you to send videos, usually you send  your outfits, or the tiny bathing suit top you wear while tanning, even one of you in the kitchen in nothing but your tiny apron. (it's the only one that john does not appreciate, popping a boner between briefings as a captain is not hie proudest moment.)
but as the months go longer and longer, you get more and more desperate. your toys are reserved for times like this, a small bullet vibrator and a thick 8-inch dildo. it's nowhere near as nice as fucking your men but it'll have to do for the time being.
and you know them being away is not their fault and they'd be home in an instant if they could choose to be; but if you have to deal with your pent-upness, so do they.
so you set up your phone, leaning it on the lamp that sits on your bedside table, so it captures your entire body, covered only by sheer light-blue lingerie and your locket, as you sink down the length of your dildo, vibrator pressed to your clit. you send four different videos, one for each of them, in the order they came into your life (you think it's cute, they're one picture away from firebombing the whole country they're in and flying home).
you: just something to hold you over until you get back!
kyle: so good for us babe.
soap: yer evil bonnie.
soap: my arm can't keep up with this
sr: birdie thinks it's real funny now
you: i do
sr: not gonna be so funny when we get home, yeah? might have to give you a refresher about what happens teasing birds.
price: 6:30am tomorrow, get everything you need in order because you aren't moving for the foreseeable future.
*you loved a message*
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thebibliosphere · 8 days ago
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My husband and I were discussing how the first felon is defending the FDA and how the quality control of our food is gonna basically disappear and I proceeded to have so much anxiety about it that I didn't sleep last night. How do we prepare for this? Is there a way to make food safe at home? How can we avoid getting poisoned from the grocery store? Sorry for bringing this anxiety to your inbox but I'm exhausted and scared and I'm hoping you've come up with food safety tips what with your general food complications.
I’m afraid I don’t have a solution for something of this scale and am just as equally terrified, but that said:
Check your local state regulations. Some states actually have strict testing that the FDA when it comes to certain things like milk. See if they are listing any recalls.
Stop eating things raw for the foreseeable future. Wash and cook everything thoroughly, even if the bag claims it’s pre-washed, wash it again. Cooking will also help eliminate any remaining pathogens. It means no more salads for a while but that’s okay.
For things like fruit, try to go with things that have an outer skin that can be taken off. If it requires you to cut into it with a knife, give the outer skin a scrub and rinse to reduce the chances of your knife being contaminated by anything like e-coli and then contaminating the insides by cutting it up.
For fruit that can’t be peeled, make sure to inspect and wash them thoroughly. If you are immunocompromised like me, consider cooking it down into a jam or pie filling to reduce further risk. Not as fun as eating it fresh for some people, but it’s a valid way of still getting the flavor and nutrients.
For things like milk, only drink pasteurized and ultra pasteurized. Try to get pasteurized eggs if you can too.
If you don’t have a meat thermometer, now is the time to get one. Make sore everything is cooked to its required internal temperature. For poultry, the recommended temperature is 165°F (74°C), while for beef and pork, the recommended temperature is 145°F (63°C) with a 3-minute rest time. Ground meats should be cooked to 160°F (71°C). Eggs should be cooked until the yolk is set. No more runny egg yolks for a bit until we get a competent source of information back about bird flu.
For things like flour, try to go for reputable brands that have their own independent testing facilities for things like gluten. They also usually test for other things and clean their facilities thoroughly. My go to is King Arthur atm.
Also, stop eating raw cookie dough if you’re not going to toast the flour in the oven first. That’s how a lot of people get sick, not necessarily from the raw egg, though stop eating raw egg right now if you do. Again, bird flu. [Addendum] I learned the flour trick in a job I used to work, but apparently, the pre-defunded FDA didn't think toasting the flour made it safe, so maybe just don't eat raw cookie dough. And I know someone's going to be a cunt in the notes like "I don't care I do what I want" good for you, hope saying that made you feel better.]
This is a dwindling possibility with the tariffs but try to buy food imported from other countries that still have food quality control. I get my masa harina from a small company that imports directly from Colombia. They can’t afford the gluten free label required to be classified as such in the USA, but considering Cheerios in the USA can afford to buy that label and the celiac foundation certification logo and still routinely sells contaminated produce due to not using gluten free oats and a mechanical sorting system that can’t be certified gluten free (1) (2) (3), I’m more inclined to go with other countries labeling right now.
With clean water under threat, use a filter for your drinking water. We currently use the ones by Life Straw. They don’t fit into your faucet but the LS filters are better than most of the ones that can be attached that way and the housing of the jugs and countertop filters are easy to clean. Make sure you do so once a week and change the filters as directed.
Most of this is just basic food hygiene stuff combined with what it’s like to be immunocompromised, but it’s always worth repeating in case someone didn’t know, but especially worth repeating right now with all our rules and regulating bodies going out the window 😞
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