#incorrect swat

[brinleyparke]

Luca: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Deacon: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated, ...

Street: Smad.

[thearunadragon]

Okay, I’m sorry, but Oromis POISONING Eragon is so messed up that poor boy

Do Arya and Orik know about this

Because they should

Not even Islanzadí would ever thumbs-up that. She would be horrified.

Eragon, back in the Varden after Roran asked him what he was doing to his food: Checking it for poison

Roran: …where did you learn that?

Eragon: my teacher poisoned me until I figured it out

Nasuada, Arya, and Orik collectively: (spits out tea) WHAT?!

Don’t poison minors, y’all. Especially ones with CHRONIC PAIN AND SEIZURES??? OROMIS WTF

[autistic-brushstrokes]

Tan: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!

Hondo: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.

Tan: But pink.

Jessica: And it's hot.

Tan: PINK!

[autistic--brushstrokes]

At the stris wedding*

Chris: What the hell were you thinking?

Luca: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!

Chris: You released OSTRICHES!

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Vriska: Im the type of friend to say “think fast” AFTER I’ve thrown a 21 pound 8oulder at your head

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

If y'all want to date anyone 5'4 and under I'm going to need you to recognize that there is effort involved. They need their outside time, but you have to be willing to stand there with them too because you never know what birds of prey are in the area and it is your responsibility as their partner to make sure they don't get scooped up. Like. That is the bare minimum. C'mon.

Mirax Terrik

[marvel-lous-guy]

Tony: I can't believe I lost my wedding ring. It's the one thing I can't replace.

Peter: Don't worry, Mr Stark. We'll find it before Pepper finds out. We'll just have to retrace your steps.

Harley: Or we could hire a metal detector and comb the entire city. That's what I did when I lost my cufflinks.

Tony: I don't think that's very practical

Harley: Hey, I found them, didn't I? And not everyone can afford unlimited cufflinks old man

[bibannana]

Echo *handing Rex a booklet*: Oh yeah, I forgot to give you this.

Rex *looks down at the booklet*: ......Domino Twins Operating Manual: Does and Do Nots. What?

Fives *slings his arm over Rex's shoulder*: Operating manual. For us. Hevy forced us both to carry around a copy incase we ever got of that kriffing moon.

Rex *flips through the rather large booklet (more like an extended novel really)*: Right.....why am I just now getting this?

Echo *shrugs*: Found my copy amongst my things. Figured I should pass it on to you.

Rex *nods*: I see. Though this might have been helpful when you first joined the 501st two years ago.

Fives *smiles*: You never know it may still be of some use.

[rm14hitman]

Pulse : Miles isn't answering his phone

Ash : I'll call

Thermite : Jack and I both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Castle : Hello ?

[brinleyparke]

Street, texting Hondo: *sends a voice message*

Hondo, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Street: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Hondo: *presses play*

Street's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

[mooseonahunt]

Sixty’s about to ruin someone’s night.

[autistic-brushstrokes]

Chris : Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have street periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’

Chris : It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going

[autistic--brushstrokes]

Street: you're supposed to forgive and forget. Not hold grudges

Chris: I'll get over it and forgive in hell

Annie glaring*

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

Colress: *out shopping and sees "forbidden rice"*

Colress: . . . *reaches for the rice*

Looker: *swats his hand away* Can’t you read?!

[avictimofthejazz]

Face: I'm content with my position, you know what I mean? I mean, I'm happy to be the sexiest member of the team. I don't want the added responsibility or authority of increased rank. Just being loveable and popular is enough for me.

[iloveitxwhenaplanxcomestogether]

Swat Incorrect Dates

Street: Hey dom, having fun on your date?????????

 Luca: does being a little tied up look like FUN to you?