#incorrect s.w.a.t. quotes

[brinleyparke]

Luca: What's a word that's a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Deacon: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated, ...

Street: Smad.

[cod-dump]

Graves: Did I ever tell you about the time my mom shot my dad dead when I was 12, and the arresting officer sat me down for a little talk?

Price: Is that where you learned to stick your nose in other people's business?

Graves: Probably. Anyway--

[jgvfhl]

Prisoner: What if someone threatened me? Put a gun to my head? They made me?

Fives: Listen we're not Jedi. We are ARC troopers. We knock down doors and tackle guys carrying DCs.

Echo: We do not have the time or the patience for whatever lie you're trying to perfect right now.

[solesommerso]

Tan: hey street I’m having a problem wi-

Street: kill them

Tan: what no-

Street: fine I’ll kill them for you

Tan: again, NO

[existential-bisis]

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Chris Alonso please come to the front desk?

Chris, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Street and Tan* I believe they belong to you?

Street and Tan, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Chris: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

[rollswat]

Street: hey babe

Chris: call me that in public again and ill end you

Street, smirking: sorry babe

Chris, blushing: STOP

[hangmanwingman]

Chris, giving Hondo advice: Sometimes you just need to ignore your problems and have a good day.

*later that day*

Street, crying: Hondo's ignoring me and I don't know why.

Chris, lying: I don't know either, bud.

[existential-bisis]

This is just Chris Alonso

lets make a new trope: gay characters who are actually seemingly impossible to kill to the point that all of their enemies are comically frustrated. functionally immortal gay characters. being gay making you immortal. unkillable gay trope.

[brinleyparke]

Street, texting Hondo: *sends a voice message*

Hondo, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Street: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Hondo: *presses play*

Street's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

[cod-dump]

Price: You'll meet us at exfil, yeah?

Nik: Of course, Captain.

Nik: *gets into a truck*

Nik: Ah... don't tell my Masha about this. She gets jealous when I take other girls for a spin.

[jgvfhl]

Anakin: Padmé wanted to thank you all for the flowers, and the cards, and  cupcakes. And the... "Senate Guard" strippergram.

Fives: Was he awesome?

Anakin: Let's just say he was well-oiled and completely inappropriate. But I haven't seen her laugh like that in a long time.

[existential-bisis]

We need a spin-off that’s just a sitcom of Street and Luca living together

Street: Luca host stopped staring through the window since the storm started.

Street: I guess I should let him back in.

[solesommerso]

Hondo answering the phone: hello?

Kidnapper: we have your daughter and-

Hondo: hold on, I don’t have a daughter

Kidnapper: well who’s this brunette who keeps muttering something about someone named Chris

Hondo: OH MY GOD YOU HAVE STREET-

[existential-bisis]

Kidnapper, negotiating: We have officer Street. Give us ten thousand dollars and he will be returned to you unharmed.

Street: Whoa whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand?

Kidnapper: Wait, what-

Street, grabbing the megaphone: MAKE IT FIFTY!

Hondo: STREET SHUT UP!

[rollswat]

Deacon: Have you seen Street?

Chris: What am I, his secretary?

Deacon: Woah.

Chris: Sorry, its this diet I think my stomach is digesting itself.

[existential-bisis]

I would literally sell my soul for this crossover

me every time they say "buck" on swat