#incorrect squad

[sunseekerchild]

Dorcas: Why would you give a knife to regulus?

Barty: he said he felt unsafe.

Dorcas: Now I feel unsafe.

Barty: Would you like a knife?

[daddiesdrarryy]

Harry: So the thing is, I’m kind of crushing on someone right now, but I’m afraid to tell you guys, because you’re not gonna like it

Hermione: Just say it, Harry, rip off the bandaid

Harry: It’s Malfoy

Ron: Put the bandaid back on

[cryptid-wizard]

Athur: Has anyone seen Merlin?

Lancelot, fully aware Merlin is doing magic stuff trying to save Camelot: He’s at the tavern

Arthur: I just came from the tavern Gwaine said he just left to find Gaius

Lancelot: Gaius is at the other tavern

Arthur: there’s another tavern??

Lancelot: at the next village there is

Arthur: and Merlin went there

Lancelot: yes

Arthur: Because Gaius is there

Lancelot: yes

*later at the next villages tavern*

Arthur: has anyone seen Merlin?

Merlin, slightly out of breath: hi

Arthur: where’s Gaius?

Merlin: You just missed him

Arthur:

Arthur: is this a physician thing? disappearing right before i come in?

Merlin: *shrugs*

Arthur: ok fine come on we’re going back.

Merlin: ah ok i’ll be right out

*Arthur goes out to get his horse*

Merlin, to Gwaine and Lancelot hiding under the table: thanks

Gwaine: how did you two manage to not get caught this long

Lancelot: Merlin told everyone once, they didn’t believe him

[not-rab]

Pandora: You shouldn’t have messed with the dream team. Now we’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Barty: And this knife I found

[mxrcusflint]

daggers (this is how the movie went, right?)

[tattycoram]

Fives: Shit! Rex is going to kill us! Echo: No he wont just follow my lead *later* Rex: WHAT TH- Echo: Sorry dad Fives: Yeah, sorry dad Rex: Rex, staring at the burning barracks: It's fine

[incorrect-seafam-quotes]

Poseidon: The sea does not like to be restrained.

Percy: Ok.

Percy: *fights Ares's godly son, wins and scares him*

Percy: *fights Hades in his own domain, destroys his army and sends Hades fleeing*

Percy: *calls the Olympians out on their bullshit and forces them into an oath on the styx*

Percy: *falls into Tartarus and strangles Akhkys with her own poison*

Poseidon, cheering from the sidelines: I love him so much!! That's my favorite son!!

Poseidon, looking at Athena & Zeus: And if you even think of touching a hair on his head I'll show you who he gets those powers and fighting skills from.

[kuuuuro]

From here!

Nightmare belongs to @jokublog

Killer belongs to @rahafwabas

Horror belongs to @horrortalecomic

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair, bitter youngest child: Are we seriously going to let Hunter keep Omega?

Tech, not looking up from his work: We let you keep Echo.

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

i can’t stop. more hatchetfield incorrect quotes.

bonus TCB ones;

[brewed-pangolin]

In the mess hall:

Laswell: Choose your best sex song.

Price: 'Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe' by Barry White.

Gaz: 'Mr. Bombastic' by Shaggy.

Ghost: 'Yellow' by Coldplay.

Soap: '1812 Overture' by Tchaikovsky.

Price/Gaz/Ghost in unison: What?

Soap: What? The first fifteen minutes are all foreplay. That's the most important part.

[daddiesdrarryy]

*7th Year Party*

Regulus: Okay, now this time, Potter, you’re going to lick the salt off my neck, do the shot, and then bite the lime, okay?

James: …

James: I’m sorry, I didn’t hear anything after lick

[fxiryeon]

Reyna: You got a taco ??

Percy: Yep

Reyna: From the same truck that hit Octavian ??

Percy, with a mouthful of taco: Well me starving sure isn’t going to help him, not that i was planning on actually helping-

[raphael-angele]

Nico's Big Sisters

I have this headcanon that while Bianca is away, the cabins take turns looking after Nico and he gets to stay with them.

Nico, crying: Thaliaaa!!!

Thalia: Nico? What's wrong?

Nico: *incomprehensible babble*

Thalia: Okay, okay, calm down. Tell me what happened

Nico, pointing to some Hermes kids: Tho- Those boys stole Three.

Thalia: *looks over at the Hermes kids tossing around a dog stuffie with three heads*

Nico: I told them to give it back but they wont. And they kept making fun of it

Thalia, rolling up her sleeves: Just a sec

Later:

Thalia with dirt all over her and slightly bloodied fists: Here you go, Nico. *hands over Three*

Nico: YAAAAY! THANK YOU, THALIA!

---

Nico: Reyna...

Reyna: Yes, Nico?

Nico: I fell down the track and I scraped my knee and hands *shows his hands*

Reyna, sees his injuries: Aww, c'mon let's go get them treated.

Dakota: OW! FUCK! REYNA! ONE OF THE HUNTERS JUST SHOT ME ON THE SHOULDER WITH AN ARROW

Reyna: WALK IT OFF!

---

If Zoë lived:

Bianca: Zoë

Zoë: Bianca, hello.

Bianca: You remember my little brother, Nico.

Zoë: Oh, yes, of course. Nice to see you again, little one

Nico, standing next to Bianca: *shyly waves*

Bianca: Nico made something for you. *whispers to Nico* come on, you can give it to her.

Nico, slowly approaches her: *hands over a jar of paper stars*

Zoë: *takes jar of paper stars*

Nico: Thank you for looking after my sister

Zoë: Well, you're very welcome, Nico. This is a very beautiful gift.

---

Nico, entering the Aphrodite Cabin: Piper...

Piper: Hm? Oh, hey, Nico. What's up?

Nico, shyly whispers to her: Can you make me look pretty?

Piper: Why do you want me to make you look pretty?

Nico, fidgeting with his fingers: Will asked me out on a date

Piper and almost all of the Aphrodite Cabin: *gasp*

Piper: Alright girls, we got a code Apollo! Let's move! Move! Move! Let's get this baby ready for his first date!

---

Annabeth: Alright. C'mon, Nico. Time for bed

Nico: Aw, okay. *climbs into bed*

Annabeth, sitting beside him: What story do you want me to read to you today?

Nico: We haven't finished the one about the big cat, the mean old lady, and the box yet.

Annabeth: ...you mean The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe?

Nico: Mhm. We stopped when Edmund went to the mean old lady's castle.

Annabeth: Ah! Then The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe it is!

---

Nico: Rachel!

Rachel: Oh, hey, Nico. Did you need something?

Nico: No, not really. I was making something and Percy said that you might like it. *hands over a box*

Rachel: *takes box and opens it* What is it?

Nico: It's paint! The Demeter kids let me plant sometimes in their garden and I get the flowers and I made them into paint!

Rachel:

Nico: See? The blue one is from Morning Glory flowers, the red one is made from Roses, the yellow one is made out of Marigolds, the orange one is made from Poppies, the purple one is made from the Lilacs, and the green one I made from Leaves!

Rachel:

Nico: :D Do you like it?

Rachel: This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me ༼☯﹏☯༽

---

Mark, training Nico: Alright. Here's what's gonna happen. You want a candy bar?

Nico: *nods*

Mark: It's on that table over there. *points to table behind him* To get it, you need to get past me first.

Nico:

Mark: Now, I'm bigger than you. So you need to be smart and think of how-

Nico: *punches Mark in the groin, and pushes him to the side, then goes over to the candy bar*

Mark, on the floor, clutching his groin: Oh, good gods!

Nico, can't open the candy bar: *goes over to Clarisse and shows her the candy bar* Open, please

Clarisse:

Nico: (´｡• ◡ •｡`)

Later during Capture the Flag:

Clarisse: Alright, listen up! If anyone wants to mess with this kid, know that he is under my protection. You wanna mess with him, you go through me first!

Nico: *holding Clarisse's hand, eating a candy bar*

[theprinceofdarknesssquad]

Will: Can you cut me some slack, Nico? I’m sort of in love.

Nico: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Will: I’m in love with you.

Nico: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

[tattycoram]

Fives, writing: How I defeated Palpatine and saved the Jedi with the power of love Fives: Chapter 1: The Power of Love Fives: The first step on my journey was realising that it is impossible to beat Palpatine with the power of love Fives: Chapter 2: The Power of Incredible Violence