#incorrect rocket the raccoon

[skylarinfinity]

rocket: [look at cat m/n with confused] what are you?

cat m/n: [shrugged] i name myself m/n but those nerd [point at avengers] call me cat.

rocket: [look m/n up and down] you does look like cat.

cat m/n: [raised an eyebrow] and you look like a raccoon-

rocket: [jabbing cat m/n shoulder using his gun] i am not a raccoon! or rabbit!

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: *walking into the room while yawning and stretching* Hey, guys. How’s it going?

Rocket: Where the hell have you been?

Y/N: Sleeping… why?

Gamora: Well, you’ve been sleeping these past two days straight, then

Y/N: Wow… I’m going back to sleep

Peter: *walking in and slamming the door* YOU’VE BEEN ASLEEP?!?! FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS?!?!

Peter: *angrily charging at Y/N* I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD

Y/N: OH SHIT-

[romanoffshouse]

Thor: I love you, guys. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Rocket: We're the best thing to ever happen to you?

Thor: Yes

Rocket: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

[harleyquinn-2509]

Landing on Knowhere for their first space mission

Kate: Is that-

Yelena: A dog in space?

Rocket: That's Cosmo, she'll show you around.

Cosmo: Welcome comrades!

Kate: A talking dog in space!

Yelena, looking at СССР written on the space suit: Bozhe, this can't be...

Cosmo, jumping around excitedly: You are Soviet like me!

Yelena, kneeling down to pet her: Da, I am.

Kate, taking a picture: This is going on the wall. Fanny and Lucky will be so jealous.

[incorrect-starbula]

Peter: Rocket, tap into their security cameras.

Rocket: Oh sure, lemme just load my "Tap into every security camera on the planet" app.

Rocket: *Taps on a screen*

Rocket: Sorry if that sounded like sarcasm, it wasn't. I am in.

[fandomnerd9602]

Rocket: could that douche actually create a perfect society?

Y/N: nah. An imperfect being can’t create perfection. It’s unobtainable

Adam: so a perfect being, like me, could?

Y/N: sorry Warlock. You’re a perfect specimen. There’s a difference.

Cosmo: did you just compliment and insult someone at the same time?

Rocket: that’s an art form im dying to learn! (Laughs)

[incorrectgotgquotes]

Peter: Sure, he's creepy, but we don't imprison people for being creepy

Rocket: Really? [turns on commlink] Hey Drax, you know that guy we have in the holding cell?

Drax: The creepy one?

Rocket: Yeah, you better let him go.

[incorrect-multiverse]

*At a zoo*

Rocket: What are they in for?

Peter: This isn't a prison.

Rocket: So they can leave?

Peter: No, but-

Rocket, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

[angelofthenight]

*Adam walks into a room*

Rocket: Now there’s a phenomenon. (y/n)’s shadow has arrived before (y/n)

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Rocket, about Gamora: She gave me that look that makes my ass leak.

Quill: I am familiar with that look.

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

Y/n: Rode trips with friends >>>

Rocket: We're literally on the run from the government.

[echos-scomplink]

Peter: Today at 7 am, Y/N poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing

Rocket: I watched Y/N brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm

Drax: The survivability of the terran race never fails to amaze me

[romanoffshouse]

Thor: For Christmas, I want a dinosour.

Rocket: Be realistic

Thor: Okay, I want to be happy.

Rocket: ...what color dinosour do you want?

[happylittleshrub]

I'm so sorry

[incorrect-starbula]

Cosmo: Rocket, where are the others right now?

Rocket: How should I know? D'ya think I put tracking chips on 'em or somethin'?

Cosmo:

Rocket: Yeah, okay, hold on. Lemme go get the tablet.

Cosmo: It is normal. I have one on Kraglin at all times.

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N: so can I scratch you behind the ear?

Rocket: you dare do that and I will bite off your-

Y/N scratches Rocket behind the ear, the raccoon relaxes…

Rocket: okay that actually feels pretty good.

Groot: I am Groot

Rocket: I am not a house pet! I’m a captain!