#incapable of focusing
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Happy #ArtMonday, everyone!
Today, I'm thrilled to share the story behind a logo I completed two weeks ago. It all began during a creative session while I was working on my "workspace" piece, listening to "Making of a Legend" by The Phantoms. The music sparked a surge of inspiration, prompting me to pause and sketch out the initial concept for this logo. You can even catch a glimpse of this moment in the time-lapse of my "workspace" piece on Instagram.
But later that same day, fate dealt a cruel blow. In the midst of my hyperfocus, I accidentally closed the project without saving, losing hours of work. Yet, I managed to salvage fragments of the design—just enough to piece together the essence of the final logo.
Despite the setback, I chose to persevere. Typically, I would shelve such projects indefinitely, but this time, I embraced resilience and dove back into the creative process with renewed determination. And you know what? I couldn't be happier with the outcome.
Of course, every journey has its setbacks, and losing the original time-lapse was a bitter pill to swallow. It captured the logo's evolution, each idea unfolding in real-time. Nonetheless, I find solace in the fact that the end result surpasses the previous version in every aspect.
This project also marked my venture into working with vectors—a new frontier promising smoother results for future designs. It's a learning curve, to be sure, but one I'm eager to tackle head-on.
So what is this logo about? It's the symbol of one of my OCs from an original story called "Nexus Connection." Meet Alex, also known as Ikaros in the streaming world. He's not the protagonist, but a vital character nonetheless. Alex is a renowned streamer, celebrated for his gaming prowess and commitment to gender equity in gaming—a central theme in our story.
His pseudonym and logo, inspired by the Greek myth of Icarus, symbolize the dangers of unchecked passion. Just as Icarus flew too close to the sun and fell, Alex's journey serves as a cautionary tale about the perils of obsession. It's a reminder that even our deepest passions can consume us if we're not careful.
Reflecting on my recent setback, losing hours of work to hyperfocus, I'm reminded of the importance of balance in all things. Funny how life imitates art, isn't it?
In essence, this logo embodies resilience, creativity, and the power of embracing imperfection, ultimately leading to growth and improvement.
Speaking about all those things, I also wanted to give you a heads-up. I've been off my focus meds for a few days now due to some health issues, and it's been very challenging. Until I'm in the clear, I can't take them anymore (and there's a possibility I might not be cleared, ever). So because of that, my whole creative process is going to be much slower than usual.
My husband and I are going to stay at my parents' house in the south of France for a week, and I'm going to take this time to get better and try to refocus myself, but it might not be enough.
We'll see how this goes. Take care and see you next Monday.
#isilrinart#logo design#my ocs#oc:Ikaros#streamer oc#burning passion#orginal story#nexus connection#creation spark#the phantoms#making of a legend#ctrl s saves lives#greek myth inspired#Icarus#adhd issues#incapable of focusing#slower creative process#vacation
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The greatest insult I’ve ever been dealt was my father-in-law dismissively telling me, a born and bred Pacific Northwester, that there was nothing interesting to photograph in forests.
���It’s all just green,” he complained.
Every patient my betrothed has relayed this to has audibly gasped in outrage.
#ramblies#funny#we took him on a hike and he just complained that nothing was photogenic#he only cares about vista landscapes and is incapable of focusing on small beautiful mushrooms or the graceful unfurling of a new fern#get good at photography before you tell me the forest doesn’t make pretty photos
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Obviously this sketch is from an AU where he grew up with regular dental care and also the ability to smile without Vibes of Impending Doom
#darth maul#darth maul fanart#maul#probably not darth with that carefree countenance tbh#thank u young ray park for yr blurry 90s photos#i am a luddite; i am incapable of digital art and i usually don't post what i make but#there needs to be more fanart focusing on those fuckin smile brackets lol#the man has some form of dimples let's take advantage of that fact in every maul-centric fan work whether it's art or writing#star wars darth maul#sith#sith LITE i should say#perhaps Diet Sith?#Sugar Free Low Carb Decaffeinated- no i can't do it it's too gross
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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WE MODDED MORE STOATS INTO INSCRYPTION
#year of the stoat#<- au tag#im physically incapable of making more g0lly and p03 sibling dynamic focused aus#very unfortunate#yourself pre transition could be a sibling#g0lly#inscryption#my art#not tagging peepaw since hes barely there
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It was actually extremely fucked up of Herbert to immediately call Dan “Danny” after hearing Megan use it in an attempt to emotionally sway him. Such a transparent imitation of intimacy. And yet Dan still sides with him. So who’s to say.
#he’d have sex with Dan if he thought it would help keep Dan focused#sometimes I think Herbert regrets his hysto solely bc he can’t baby trap Dan (as easily) anymore#he’d take Dan’s semen while he’s sleeping and inseminate himself too just so he can’t give Dan the satisfaction#and then he’d throw a pregnancy test at Dan 6 weeks later and say ‘it’s yours’ before walking out of the room#(they haven’t even kissed yet)#this is Herbert incapable of admitting his feelings#and this way Dan can’t leave him bc he’s pregnant#reanimator#danbert
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where's that "there was someone wrong on the internet yesterday and i'm being so brave about it" post when I need it
#this post brought to you by#someone was wrong on the internet yesterday#and i am being SO BRAVE ABOUT IT#not just wrong wrong and racist in a way that is like... either it's bait to engage with people who will correct them and won't listen to#or they genuinely did not realize that it could come off super fucking racist#and like idk how becuase it was pretty goddamn blatant#and also facebook is the WORST place to try and correct that shit#you have to be SO BRAVE when you're on facebook about the wrongness of people#one day i will be able to act with more grace in a more timely fashion but until then#i will go back to focusing on how wrong those people were about motorized wheeled shoes instead#because that's from twothousandfucking eight and ''standing is so lazy''#as someone who clinically is incapable of standing without it making my heart race#and who also has a bipedal human body like everyone else#i bEG TO FUCKING DISAGREE#i was angry about that when i didn't know it wasn't as hard for everyone else to remain standing for long periods of time#ooooooough#they were also racist but like it was also 2008 it was that or extremely ableist and most people hit both pretty solidly on the internet#in those days /old man voice
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#i haven't cried in so long so i guess i was due for a good sob#i am sick#and tired#and so so done with dealing with my own brain#no matter how much i work im always behind#i cant keep up with dishes and laundry and school work#i cant just keep trying harder cause it doesnt work#but its my only option#and its so insanely frustrating to realize that i will never get better#i will forever be sub-par#i will always be struggling to get normal shit done#i will never be able to keep track of appointments or remember important information#all the skills and knowledge i work hard for will disappear instantly the moment i stop focusing on them#i hate that i appear functional because im not and no one will believe that im genuinely incapable of staying on top of things#time will keep slipping by me and i wont ever be able to attain my goals because my self-discipline is never enough#i hate my brain and im tired of fighting a disability thats never severe enough to warrent pity or aid but makes life harder all the same
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my rotation
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for @loveotomization and the art trade prompt silence/kiss/betrayal :3c
#the readmore is just a close up#i'm sorry its not more involved my brain is incapable of focusing on rendering;;;#as usual everyone is welcome to come up with their own context#but *i* was setting this in the quasi-accomplice au i have with my friend in which /#/ akechi takes too long frog boiling his emotionally vulnerable bf into being okay with murder and the power of friendship gets him first#play stupid games win stupid prizes! have you tried not lying your ass off to him all the time!#i am now realizing out of context this just comes off as yusuke femme fataleing it up for fun and profit#which i guess also might as well happen#anyway bri thank youuu for offering art trades i'm always happy for any excuse for more ✨Them✨#persona 5#akekita#auverse#twine au#<- shared au with tumblr user floodbender thanks for all the dev help
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The trailer for the Garbage Dump movie and Furudate's new mini stories from the movie announcement event got me super hyped and I couldn't stop thinking about this, so here's a little one-shot centered on the moments between and after both the Nekoma and Kamomedai matches :)
Summary: While waiting for the quarter finals of Nationals to start, Kuroo tries to mess with Tsukishima, Yamaguchi's brain short circuits, and Tsukishima continues to play it cool.
Words: 5,935 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi Characters: Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Canon Compliant, POV Multiple, POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Volleyball, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Haikyuu!! Chapter 298 Spoilers, Haikyuu!! Chapter 369 Spoilers, Getting Together, One Shot, Some Swearing
Excerpt:
“Have you noticed how Tsukki seems to only compliment people behind their backs?”
Tadashi chuckled. “Oh, definitely. But I hope you weren’t looking for more compliments from him out of me, Kuroo-san, because to be honest he mostly just talks shit about you,” Tadashi said with a not-so-guilty quirk to his lips.
Kuroo barked out a laugh. “No, no that’s fine, I deserve that—what I was wondering was if you knew what he said about you during the match?”
AO3
#tsukkiyama#hq!!#tsukkiyama fic#tsukki#yamaguchi#my writing#my fic#mine#behind your back#aahh it feels nice to be writing again and it was a lot of fun to write something that felt like less pressure on myself lolll#hq manga spoilers#HEAVY spoilers for the fic itself lol#i seem to be incapable of talking about the nationals arc without making reference to The Thing so..#i really wanted to write the fic so that it was just focusing on the nekoma stuff so that it could be spoiler free when the movie comes out#but uhh it took a turn toward more and tbh i think the story is better for it so#sorry lol it will continue to be spoilery until the rest of nationals is animated#hq#x
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spending 8 hours on assignment worth 17% of my grade and getting 0 answers right so far is an ~experience~
#neon's void#I thought I would have time to go climbing but the gym closed 1.5 hrs ago and I'm still not fucking done#and its due in an hour#Going to half ass the rest and hope for partial credit bc fuck this#(i should have started 3 days ago but I was so tired I was actually incapable of focusing on anything#i couldn't even make it through a comic book#and then yesterday I was busy and then exhausted again)
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Do you think theyd do eichi fs2 during akatsuki climax yes or no cast your votes now
#one day im going to write about my relationship with e.nstars and how it keeps me going but also new releases make me#incapable of focusing on anything else and thats. inconevient#among other things e.nstars does in my life
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i hate this drawing
#my art#tf g1#transformers g1#ultra magnus#yes this is g1 magnus i am just incapable of drawing boxes#why is he so difficult to draw. like ive drawn him at this angle 10 times unsuccessfully#also headcanon abt cybertronian eyes#the glass panels protect any debris or liquids from hitting the camera/eyeball#yes their eyes are cameras to me#so basically the pupil is the camera bit which is how they see#the iris acts as a zooming/focusing thing so the bigger the pupil the closer the zoom#and the eyeball itself moves for them to see obviously#their eyelashes are to polish the eye camera in case any dust builds up#i think their glass panels could retract in case of emergency/cleaning kind of like arcees visor in the g1 movie#and the “tearduct” is a light bulb to illuminate their view which is also what makes their eyes glow!#i hope that makes sense ive been wanting to share my idea for ages
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i think vaggie and angel have more in common then vaggie is willing to admit. i think vaggie's glee when adam got murdered is deeper than it seems. i think vaggie's dislike of angel's attitude is deeper than it seems. i think adam calling the exorcists "his girls" is deeper than it seems. is this anything.
#the fact that vaggie didnt think adam would recognize her haunts me. his girls are interchangeable to him—except for when they arent#i feel like angel dust is living vaggie's nightmare and shes incapable of processing that.#what happened with adam was a dirty little secret everyone knew about and no one did shit about.#what happened to vaggie is one of her deepest shames that she refuses to touch with a ten ft pole. she left that behind in heaven.#if she forgets about how fucked up she is the past cant hurt her. if she focuses her energy on supporting charlie she wont think abt hersel#and then here comes along angel. and she hates how he's coping with it all because she can see the appeal of self ruin & self erasing#she knows what its like to be trapped & she knows what its like to hurt ppl bc of it. & she doesnt WANT to know that. how DARE he remind he#he shows off his golden cage and vaggie hides her former golden cage#rewatching the first ep and. vaggie's disgust at angel talking abt how his body was 'made to be exploited' is. well.#considering how vaggie got her name i feel like it strikes a painful chord for her#tw: noncon#vaggie hazbin hotel#vaggie headcanons
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Two more weeks and I'll be able to focus on finishing my Santiago smut 🙏
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