#incapable of choosing

[knifeeater]

1990, 1997 and 2020?

1990: I, the Worst of All & The Juniper Tree

1997: Dakan & Revolutionary Girl Utena

2020: Futur Drei/No Hard Feelings

[trappedinafantasy37]

Since Minthara presents an exterior shell made of steel, and she's sometimes mean, and is an absolute badass in battle, she is often treated and perceived as someone who feels no emotions. And this often occurs to individuals who do put on such a tough exterior. It also does not help that many people perceive evil characters as incapable of doing or feeling anything other than evil. That love and evil are innately incompatible.

But Minthara is not emotionless, she does feel things. Sadness, grief, fear, loneliness, anger, anxiety, paranoia, vengeance, love. She can laugh, she can tell jokes, she can cry, she can smile, and she does get upset at things. If anything, she is emotionally repressed and emotionally guarded and the times where she does really express her more negative and vulnerable emotions is when it becomes too much to hold back and it comes out a little over the top. We have to remember she comes from a society in which such outward emotional expression would be rewarded with social punishment, religious scorn, or even death. So she really doesn't have the healthiest mechanisms to express her emotions.

She hides what she feels all the time as a means of keeping herself safe from punishment. She keeps it to herself cause she does not want you to see her as weak, as she would have been in the past. And she certainly does not want you or anyone else to punish her for it either. She hides behind little pet names and even using words from languages she knows you don't understand as that is the only way she feels safe being vulnerable with you. In her past, her love was rewarded with new wounds and new scars. She is terrified to open up to you, fearing that you will hurt her because she loves you. That her love for you won't actually be enough to stop you from hurting her. And she will only ever admit she loves you in contexts that have a high risk of death because there's really not much for her to lose at that point so she may as well tell you.

She also has a habit of intellectualizing what she feels and experiences so that they appear as "rational" and "logical" rather than emotional and to distance herself from her emotions. She says it takes a sharp mind to have sympathy for someone who suffers unnecessarily. She is trying to make it appear that emotions like sympathy is a matter of the mind, not the heart. That it is a mark of intelligence, because otherwise it would be the mark of weakness.

She blames herself for her own torments, like she deserved the awful things that happened to her. She frames the situation like she is more at fault and more deserving of blame, than the people who hurt her. It is the only way she can find any reason in what happened to her and any reason in her tormentors actions. That she did something wrong and induced someone's wrath upon her, rather than acknowledging that the person who hurt her is just a bad person.

She deserved what Ketheric and Orin did to her because she was "weak, passive, proud". That her emotional state had blinded her from the trap that was set, giving Ketheric and Orin ample opportunity to attack her. That if she hadn't felt those exact emotions, then it wouldn't have happened. She could have seen the trap coming, or she could have fought back.

Or if you attempt to tell her that her childhood was rough and her mother abused her, she immediately deflects by saying, "it could have been worse" and therefore, what she did actually experience wasn't really that bad. And yeah, sure, maybe she needed certain lessons given that she lived in a cruel and dangerous society like Menzoberranzan where she had to be prepared for violence at all times. But trauma is not born of love, it is born of fear, of pain, of agony, and her mother still tried to kill her. Regardless of her mother's intent, it was the first broken bond of trust and it left a mark on Minthara. Where she began to believe that her mother would torment her for torments sake, and she had doubts on whether or not her mother actually loved her.

When you encounter the first Orin imposter, it's pretty damn obvious she is terrified. And you kinda gotta squeeze it out of her to admit that she's afraid. Where it's "I'm afraid of Orin because she is capable of this, this, and this, and you should be too" rather than "I am afraid of Orin because she hurt me." And she begs you, BEGS, to keep her safe because she knows her fear makes her vulnerable to Orin.

She doesn't even truly acknowledge that she wasn't at fault for what Orin did to her until Orin is dead. She doesn't start putting the blame on Orin until Orin is dead. She doesn't go through the emotional process of sympathizing with herself until Orin is dead. And she doesn't admit that she undoubtedly has trauma, until Orin is dead. She gets so wrapped up, and so lost in her own fear and paranoia that she never has the room to properly process the things that happen to her. That her primary concern right now is keeping you, the others, and herself safe and her emotions can wait because wallowing in them will only make her weak. Only does the distance of death give her the room to start healing. Only problem is that there have always been threats and they never end, they never stop. So it is rare for Minthara to ever have a moment of peace and safety to work through what she feels and they just get backed up. Ignoring your problems does not make them go away.

So you wanna know what will happen when an embrace Durge betrays her? She will fall to her death, a knife in her belly, blaming herself for your betrayal. All her worst fears have come to pass and you were indeed a lover who hurt her because she loved you, and that she was a fool to ever trust you at all. That if she didn't love you, maybe you wouldn't have hurt her. She doesn't understand your reasoning, she can't make sense of it, she doesn't know why you'd betray her, so it must have been her fault for thinking you'd be different. That if she hadn't been so loyal, so devoted, that she could have been spared. That her belief that you would rule together is what damned her. She will die blaming herself for her own murder before she ever gets a chance to start blaming you.

[carbonated-fenwater]

Mostly screaming into the void with this one but I'm almost to the end of earning my Bachelor's and I've got something to say.

It is not edgy or subversive to redirect your hatred onto animals that you deem morally impure or to try and yassify misunderstood creatures.

"Sea otters assault their females to death and drown their pups" they are still a cornerstone species worth protecting and whole ecosystems are suffering for the loss of them.

"Sharks are just ocean puppies and big sweeties." No they're not, they are apex predators and you have to treat them with respect. Saying they're not capable of aggression or completely misunderstood is still spreading misinformation, you cannot generalize a group of animals like this.

"Dolphins are super smart and actually capable of understanding that some of their behaviors are evil" I am actually going to break into your house and steal your shoes if you say this to me.

"Charismatic megafauna are useless and overrated and taking away from underappreciated species that Really need our help" wrong again dipshit. Animals like pandas, elephants, whales, and others that I'm sure you're tired of seeing plastered everywhere are important to get the general public involved. It's called PR (and while I wish it wasn't necessary and that people would care regardless I digress) and what conservation work IS done based around them is advantageous to other threatened species that share their habitat.

As someone going into the field of ecological conservation and marine biology, I have met one too many people who think it's okay to say a certain animal doesn't deserve to be protected because it makes them feel yucky or just because they think it doesn't deserve it. I shouldn't have to tell you why that is SO not okay. The underappreciated and overrated can both exist, you don't need to proselytize people into hating dolphins just so sharks can get their dues.

You're also allowed to just dislike an animal! But if you sensationalize their behaviors that are morally incorrect by human standards, then I am begging you to reevaluate yourself, get more educated on the subject, and talk to a real ecologist.

No creature on this planet deserves to be eradicated just because you are personally offended by their natural behaviors or deem them unfit to take up space.

[t00thpasteface]

let your guard down; ain't nobody gotta know!

[orangerosebush]

At once, Artemis has this all-consuming need for control and rejects being treated as a child, yet nonetheless, there's a longing for the protection (care?) of childhood that he sees as beyond his grasp (“It’s too late for me [..] am too old for tussles with Father" in TTP). During the months of recovery, post-resurrection, I would imagine Artemis feeling almost uncomfortable with the sustained gentleness of the life he’s been thrust back into.

[keii4ii]

Lyrics from 꽃이 피고 지듯이, a song from a historical movie about a son and his abusive father. It is sung from the son's POV. The movie isn't similar to Lies of P, but the song still fits the high humanity Happily Ever After route. I am taking my leave now leaving behind my pain the words I couldn't tell you, I send them away to the clouds. So much I have cried because I couldn't fill your heart. I am sorry; here, my heart like a flower blooming and falling. Fly through the empty skies, let the wind carry me Befriend the lonely morning stars and I am taking my leave now. We longed for each other this much, so why couldn't we be together when we were together? If, if there's any warmth of mine that remains in your heart, touch my face just once before this wind scatters.

[cream-and-tea]

oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,

[datshitrandom]

Darren Criss + favorite photoshoot𝓈 | 30/30 days idol challenge

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Imagine trying to not only dictate how much of a fan of Scream someone is if they declare they boycotting Scream 7, but on top of that, trying to make it out like people are boycotting Scream 7 because their favorite actress is not in when in reality, its because Spyglass fired Melissa Barrera over her supporting Palestine and tried to ruin her via spreading lies about her being antiemetic and even when they did get into talks with her, they basically demanded she apologize for calling out a genocide.

[monsterfuckermilligan]

i still cannot comprehend how u guys will write or draw or rb something of jack where he is present as a full grown adult and then call him a precious child….

[vigilskeep]

my concepts for adopted elf hawke and sebdivorce hawke are merging together in concerning ways

[mermaidlighthouse]

Choose your player

Zheng

Skill: amazing swordplay

Ed

Skill: doing flips

Stede

Skill: ummm….spinning around and stuff????

AND ecclesiastical latin

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[3-aem]

tfw ur on group facetime and some dude whom you never met before is like hi ur the big gojo stan right 💀💀💀

[doyoulikethis-vocaloid-song]

Who is a V-Synth you feel deserves more love? For me it's Amy! I think her voice is so pretty, but not many people use her, let alone for original songs

I haven't really been keeping up with all the different SynthV and CeVio voices and such, so while I'm sure there are a lot of really underrated gems there I'm not as familiar with them :( Vocaloid though... that's different, lol! I think Merli is one of the prettiest Vocalsynth designs I've ever seen and her voice is just as nice. I'm also a huge fan of Yumemi Nemu (I drew her a long time ago for a Vocaloid fanzine), LUMi, and the ZOLA PROJECT boys (who recently got new designs! Wil has always been my favorite, and he's so cute now <3)

There are a tooon of VSynths out there though, and I think all of them deserve the world :) It's a lot of work to get a nice voicebank together, after all haha! (<- has been trying and failing to make a UTAU voicebank)