#in-depth

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XXV): The Mulder-Scully Family, a Convergence of Fate and Freewill

Philes, we have arrived at the last part of the Scully Family series-- and what better way to end this than on a victorious high note?

A SYZYGY

Scully's journey to motherhood is complicated. In The Jersey Devil, she hasn't seriously considered children because she doesn't have a serious relationship. In Home, she draws pointed parallels between her mothering considerations and Mulder's genetic makeup (post here.) In Detour, she brings Mulder a celebratory cheese platter (assuming he'd taken the case to get out of the conference with her.) In Dreamland I, she longingly rambles about other people living normal lives with their houses and children and dogs. In Milagro, she uses Padgett as a means to grab Mulder's attention (posts here.) In The Unnatural, she brings tofutti rice dreamsicles, flirts about her partner's childhood, and happily joins him for a very early or very late birthday gift. (I posit that after The Unnatural, she runs to her doctor in hopes of discovering some slim chance to become pregnant; and this kicks off the IVF arc-- to be discussed below.) She and Mulder keep the family planning book in his office after their attempts fail (as glimpsed in Amor Fati and Brand X.) And she finds out she's pregnant right after her partner has been abducted by aliens.

That's not the full tangle of the IVF and William arc, though-- lest we forget who she was trying to have a baby with... and that Mulder has consistently refused to consider "a normal life" (and parenthood) each time the potential stared him in the face.

The Jersey Devil sets him up in direct opposition to "a normal life", Home shows him reinforcing that decision quite clearly (video here), and Detour and Emily double and triple down. Yet... he wants to be the father of Scully's baby during the IVF arc ("The-the answer is yes.") And he knows William is his-- "What we feared were the possibilities. The truth we both know"-- and is proud of that fact (in spite of the PTSD and drama at play, post here.) When, and why, did he change?

And because this is The X-Files, the tangle doesn't end there. In the previous part here I explored the failed convergence of fate and freewill in the birth, life, and death of one Emily Sim-- all in all, a failure to launch for Scully’s dreams of motherhood, normalcy, and partnership. In the wake of her daughter’s death and the loss of the X-Files, Mulder and Scully are forced to reassess the parameters of their relationship: Mulder has to confess (in his own way) to the nature of his reliance on and feelings for Scully, or lose her forever (Fight the Future); and Scully has to work through her self-doubts and trust to whatever lies between them (The End-Fight the Future.) Therefore, when Season 6 begins with a below-the-belt punch to both, they squabble and feel hurt (The Beginning) but ultimately magnetize back together (Drive.) Repeatedly (One Son-Agua Mala; Milagro-The Unnatural; Field Trip-Biogenesis.) It’s a push-and-pull, back-and-forth, give-a-little-get-a-little routine they settle into, allowing both the space to breathe, to test some boundaries, and to draw back and regroup whenever they so choose. This contributes to the buoyancy and low-stakes struggle of their personal relationship, especially compared to the world-ending tribulations (or professional bug bears) that dog them day in and day out. There are personal struggles of course-- massive ones-- but nothing that does not glue itself back together as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Still, there's one last key component in the Emily Sim, IVF, and William arc. Fate and freewill carry a huge, huge role in Mulder and Scully's work: particularly, the ways both view their work. @nachosncheezies put it quite succinctly: "That Mulder looooves free will, but especially when confronted with the big things he tends to falter - Samantha might have been taken by men based on his parents' choice; Scully's continued presence on the Files and beside him is a choice (and the horrors she suffers are not an inescapable Fate caused by her proximity to him, but something she chooses to endure and continue to risk, because she values the rewards). That Scully wants very much to believe that there's a greater power guiding things, but gets so shook when directly confronted with the notion that God might indeed have more control than she or the people around her." It's how Mulder chooses to view his work (telling Scully “I don’t think this is about justice, Scully. I think it's about fate" in Paper Clip); and how Scully chooses to view not just the work ("I need something to put my back up against"), but her choices and Mulder's choices and life's good and bad, gruesome and beautiful realities. Fate and freewill themselves are constantly locked in battle, weaving themselves into the narrative before getting snagged against each other and having to be unpicked. This is mainly due to the markedly inconsistent writing; but it's there, on purpose, to serve as the show's backdrop.

And under the fate vs. freewill heading, there is one last snarl we need to take into consideration: Melissa Scully and the impact of her legacy on Scully's personal journey. It's Melissa who encourages her sister to "follow your heart, and it'll take you where you're supposed to go" in A Christmas Carol; it's Melissa who speaks for her sister in One Breath, it's Melissa who tells her sister Mulder is still alive and warns her she's "shut off from her own intuition" in The Blessing Way, it's Melissa who died in her sister's stead, it's Melissa who leads her sister to her daughter from the afterlife, and it's Melissa's influence that leads her sister to her own voice and conscience in all things. Melissa acts as the bridge between Fate and Freewill: the heart is destined for something, someplace, somewhere; but you must choose to listen to and follow it to find where you're supposed to go. As @deathsbestgirl put it (post here), "but missy's presence is still felt, her influence on scully outlives her. scully is always trying to reach melissa, to feel her. melissa is always guiding her, and as scully moves further on her path (with mulder), allows herself to learn more about what happened during her abduction/because of her abduction (something melissa wanted her to do shortly before her death), like with emily and the red & the black...every step brings her close to melissa."

So: when do these ideas-- Scully's journey, Mulder's journey, the battle of Fate and freewill, and Melissa Scully's legacy-- culminate and begin to manifest in the Scully Family Series?

The answer: the IVF arc.

THE STARS ALIGN… AND FALTER

Where does the IVF arc fall? That can be debated until the end of time; but for me personally, the only math that maths adds up to a late Season 6 timeline (post here)-- right in the midst of rule breaking and negotiations; and right after Mulder’s perspective begins to shift, allowing him to see the possibility of “life on this planet.” 

Scully’s second attempt at motherhood quickly devolves into the same pattern as the first. Struck one day with the urge to retest her fertility (after a very early or very late birthday present, I suggest), she rushes off to a (seemingly last minute) medical checkup. Scully books an appointment without telling her partner (despite her hopes immediately revolving around him when she gets a positive second opinion-- which means, he was on her mind when she booked the first one, as well.) Further, when Scully returns to the FBI, dispirited, she attempts to deflect his inquiries after Mulder catches up with her in the elevator. But he won’t let this go; and she sighs, admits she’d been at the doctor’s office, then drops into silence. 

“Don’t make me guess,” Mulder quips, afraid it’s cancer. 

Skipping over Per Manum’s dialogue gaffe-- one which contradicts Emily’s timeline-- we arrive at the revelation: “I am not yet ready to accept I won’t have children,” she admits. 

Mulder begins to walk away, but gives in to his conscience, turning back to explain, “Scully, there’s, um, there’s something I haven’t told you-- and I hope you would forgive me and understand why I kept it from you.”

Tense and confused, Scully asks, “What?”

“During my investigation into your illness, I found out why you were barren. Your ova were taken from you and stored in a government lab.”

And while this, too, could fall into showbible blunder, Scully’s next line salvages it: “What? You found them?” puts the stress on 'found', implying her shock comes from his discovery more so than the details he’s sharing. 

“I-I took them directly to a specialist who would… tell me if they were okay,” he replies, softly, head down and unable to meet her eyes: because they weren’t okay. Scully is too distraught to make this connection, yet. 

“I… I don’t believe this--” 

“Scully, you were deathly ill and I… I couldn’t bear to give you another piece of bad news.” Mulder finally looks up, ashamed but sincere. 

Devastated, she’s pulled up short. “Is that what it was, it was bad news?” 

He nods, blinks, maintains eye contact as he slowly explains, “The doctor said that the ova weren’t viable.”

Immediately, Scully distances herself from this pain, punching the elevator button and insisting, “I want a second opinion.” 

Mulder, knowing what his partner’s doing, tries to stop her-- physically reaching out to block the doors from closing-- but gives in when Scully flinches, then shoots him a pleading look: if she doesn’t collect herself alone, she will fall apart. Giving in (what else can he do? his actions have hurt her deeply), he lets her go. 

Scully’s quest for family is once again stymied by the Consortium; and she is spared, once again, from the traumas of tampered motherhood. 

After an undetermined time later, Dr. Parenti joins her in the waiting room with good-- for him-- news: “Ms. Scully, I’ve got a good report for you. I’ve looked at the ova you’ve given me and consulted with some of my colleagues; we all feel that, with the proper approach, it might be successful.”

And that’s the insidious, despicable underbelly to the IVF arc: Dr. Parenti spoke with his colleagues about one Dana Scully-- i.e. he, the Consortium plant, knew exactly who she was and exactly what this vial of ova meant. 

And he, Dr. Parenti, was likely going to use her ova and her womb for his benefit; and if he and his colleagues felt generous, he'd grow her real, replacement child in a tube somewhere to swap with at birth (like he did with Kathy McCready.)

Now: could Scully have had a perfectly normal IVF pregnancy, a one-in-a-million shot that wasn’t tampered or interfered with?

Put bluntly, no:

Dr. Parenti’s clinic was an extension of the arm of the Syndicate, either carrying out his own experiments with their permission or carrying out a niche of their experiments for them. 

The Consortium crumbled in One Son, but vestiges remained-- carrying out CSM’s directives in En Ami and Requiem, and leaving their research facilities scattered, here and there, undetected. 

Parenti worked out of one of these research facilities; and, whatever his "research" had been before the Syndicate’s collapse, it couldn’t have been much different than it is when Scully and Doggett investigated him in S8. 

Further, even if Scully came to his clinic sometime before or after One Son, his purposes were already set in place; and like Scanlon and Calderon, he could, in all probability, take the evidence and disappear into thin air if detected. Meaning, he is ruthless and one-track minded. 

Meaning, Scully’s chances-- which were nil because of the ova’s unviability-- were most certainly tampered with: either to produce another half-formed alien child-- which he might swap with a test tube baby with varying degrees of health-- or to sabotage any chance of success. And, unfortunately, if he wanted to do the latter, he would simply have said there was no chance of success, at all. 

As much as the IVF arc appeals to me, the fact that Parenti walked into the room with a malicious glint in his eye, declared there to be a chance after he consulted with his colleagues, and knew full well who those were and how Scully factored into their equation… there is no way, shape, or form that Scully’s pregnancy would have avoided trauma of some sort: miscarriage; induced labor, perhaps unconscious C-section, and a baby swap; or death. 

Unaware of these odds, Scully collapses in a chair; and before she can process this news completely, Dr. Parenti begins to pressure her for a now, now, now timeline: the odds would be better the sooner they started. Another hint at his greedy machinations. 

“We can start right away?” she asks, stunned-- and, again, her pattern kicks in: hurry, hurry, hurry; don’t think; this is the right thing to do; run; go, go, go. 

“Well, you’d need a father,” the doctor advises; but Scully’s face falls at ‘anonymous donor’, her eyebrows pinching and her eyes dropping at the realization that she’s going to have to ask Mulder to be that donor. Of course she is; and that certainty makes her immediately uncertain of his reaction. “Unless you have someone in mind?”

“Yeah. I, uh….” The music drops, uneasy. “I just have to figure out how to ask him.” 

Mulder’s acceptance, Scully’s reaction; and Mulder’s comfort, and Scully’s tears I’ve already been recorded here; but it bears repeating for this analysis, if in brief. 

We aren’t shown the moment Scully asks for Mulder’s help; but we are shown his shiny eyes and shy eagerness, her anxious timidity and teary delight when he accepts. Mulder comes through that door ready to have a part of that “more” his partner is seeking-- in short, to be a father. Scully mistakes his breathless premise as rejection, and reveals (with her down-turned eyes and crestfallen, “I should have known” expression) that she doubted he’d ever accept this request; or, more accurately, doubted he’d want to change their partnership. It’s part and parcel-- she believes-- of the one step forward, two steps back jig they’ve been doing recently; but it also hits her in the pain point that his turn-aside in Emily (“Are you two the parents?”) created.  

“Th-the answer is yes,” he assures, poking at her arm; and her face transforms into varying stages of overwhelmed delight, unable to believe he wants this, now, with her-- that he wants to share this with her-- quite literally wants to take part in this with her.

And, I believe, both know what this truly means: that Mulder is signing on to be an active father. Despite turning aside from Emily Sim, he did his utmost to protect and save her. That was a responsibility he was thrust into, and one he didn’t turn away from... but one he chose to keep distance from, as well. There is no distance here: “the answer is yes”, after all. 

Again, I shall briefly touch on the moment they receive devastating news (and, again, the post is linked above.) 

Mulder is napping on Scully’s couch, waiting for her return from her appointment. She isn’t surprised, necessarily, to see him there; and he makes no bones about the fact he “must have dozed off” as time crawled by. Seeing her sad face, hearing her defeated, “I guess it was too much to hope for”, he gathers her up in his arms, comforts his partner during her wailing, “This was my last chance!”, and promises her, “Never give up on a miracle.” Mulder has learned to believe in this possibility, and he doesn’t want to let that belief go. 

Already, we see the blurred lines of their partnership: 

After her request and his acceptance, Mulder greets Scully at her apartment-- a marked change in routine from their usual meeting spot (his apartment or the basement.) 

Mulder is just as anxious and excited as she is at the possibility of success. 

And though her “last chance” has failed, he refuses to let the idea of her having a child and achieving her dreams go-- they came this close, he assumes, on the rarest of chances. What’s to say they won’t again? 

Scully, meanwhile, has her own tells: 

She is not (too) surprised to find Mulder in her apartment, despite both of them meeting (more often than not) at his place. 

She clings to him and cries on his shoulder-- the third time in their partnership (Irresistible, Fight the Future, Per Manum.) 

Not only does she cling to him and cry openly, she does so in stark contrast to her previously closed-off emotions (in Emily, and in the beginning of Per Manum’s flashbacks.)

She almost kisses his forehead-- a callback to her authoritative claim in Fight the Future; and one she does not repeat until she reaffirms that claim in Amor Fati-- but ducks at the last second, and vaguely lands on his cheek. 

She allows herself to be consumed by his soothing hug.

In conclusion: neither person was denying what this was to them-- a chance at their own form of a normal life, a bit of hers and a bit of his all blended together in one perfect, successful last chance. But, alas, that was not to be. (And, considering Dr. Parenti’s intentions, that was a good thing.) 

A second attempt; but the first joint failure. 

A “NORMAL LIFE” DEFEATS FATE

And here we reach the grand conclusion of the question of freewill versus fate. 

As previously discussed, Mulder views his quest in righteous terms-- Fate-- to bear up under it; while Scully decisively argues her position in factual terms-- Freewill-- to make sense of it.

“This child was not meant to be,” he warns about Emily; and “Don’t give up on a miracle”, he encourages after the IVF: both statements are lacking perspective and personal agency.

“I don’t see what choice I have," she responds about the adoption; and “I guess it was too much to hope for," she mourns after the IVF: both statements are laced with insecurity and defeat. 

The lingerings of these resolutions are resolved in Amor Fati and all things, respectively. Mulder solidifies his “life on this planet” after being dragged into the bowels of “another life, another world.” It is Conscience, personified by Scully, who confronts his weakness, calling him a coward and leaving him to make an active choice of his own freewill. Mulder chooses to leave behind bigger aspirations, higher callings, greater, inactive purpose to open his eyes to the true world-- the truth-- and cling to her: an integration of freewill. She is, he realizes, his touchstone. Scully solidifies her decision to stay with Mulder-- not the files, not the work, not their romantic relationship-- after being given a chance to take another path. And it is Conscience, personified by the running woman-- revealed to be Mulder-- who confronts Scully’s self doubt and directionless spiral, leading her one step at a time to her own resolution and peace. Scully chooses to let go of her doubt and indecision, trusting in her instincts to guide her: an integration of fate. He is, she realizes, where she belongs.

Both of these journeys finally sync up in all things: Scully tells Mulder about talking to God and falls asleep, Mulder rambles about paths not taken and tucks a blanket around her. And Scully of her own freewill joins Mulder in bed; and together they create their own miracle-- a sprinkle of fate and a boatload of personal choice. 

William, then, is a perfect combination: not because he is an alien super soldier or a divine proof of God or a result of the corrupt, freewill actions of other forces or "the key to everything" fated into existence through White Buffalo prophecy to save the world (@deathsbestgirl thoughts and post here), but because he is human. Normal. A miracle because he is not at all what anyone except Scully and Mulder expected him to be.

“We feared the possibilities,” Mulder acknowledges while holding his days-old son. “The truth we both know.” 

“Which is what?” Scully asks-- also one guided by definitives. 

And he gives her one-- a kiss-- to mark this new chapter of their lives. 

What is that new chapter, you wonder? 

In Requiem, Mulder and Scully miss sign after sign of her pregnancy, fearing she is suffering from close proximity to an abductee ship. She shuffles to his hotel room, sick and weak; and he tucks her up and whispers, “There has to be an end, Scully.” 

Mulder is a man of half-sentences and vague meanings: there has to be an end for Scully, for all she’s sacrificed.

“I want you to go home”, he admits.

“Oh, Mulder, I’m fine,” she whispers; but it’s not the full truth. 

"No, no, I've been thinking about it: looking at you today holding that baby... knowing everything that's been taken away from you. The chance for motherhood--" Scully's face scrunches in pain: she can't pretend this wound has healed, "--and your health and that baby. I think that... y'know, maybe they're right." Mulder speaks gently, contemplatively: and though this moment is focusing on Scully's losses, there is more going on-- particularly in Mulder himself.

"Who's right?" Scully asks, waveringly.

"The FBI," he answers plainly, sorrow and realization blending together."

Scully doesn't respond, brows wrinkling in confusion.

"Maybe what they say is true-- but for all the wrong reasons. It's the personal costs that are too high."

Scully doesn't respond, again: more importantly, she doesn't deny. And although she doesn't agree-- although she's stuck in worried limbo, afraid for her health, stumbling over the fact of her infertility-- she seems to be considering his words, or the intent behind them. Even more importantly, Scully doesn't know what Mulder's point is: that she resign? That they resign together? Is he turning over a new leaf just when she's learned to accept her choices and his ways for what they are?

Like Elegy, both are “afraid of the same thing”: that the final toll of this quest will consume Scully. (Just as they "feared the possibilities" in Existence.) She tries to escape this sense of doom by working, by nearly fighting her partner to go back to Bellefleur when Krycek and Marita show up dangling special intelligence. Mulder, however, is tired of loss, tired of years and years without closure. He floats the idea of leaving, for her sake; and doesn’t push it farther. But it’s on his mind, her health and her happiness; and her health and her happiness, he ruminates with mature clarity, might not be sold in bulk at the FBI. On the flip side, Mulder doesn’t float the solid idea of him leaving, too: he hasn’t let go: he's yet to make a decisive choice to leave (ala Vienen.)  

Mulder returns to Bellefleur; and Mulder is abducted right before Scully finds out she’s pregnant. 

There’s a deeper dive to be had regarding Mulder’s rewritten demise in Requiem and second rewritten death in Three Words. Be that as it may, Mulder is forced onto the alien spaceship; Mulder is tortured for long months against his will; and Mulder is “killed” and buried before he can learn about the existence of his child. Here, again, is the Fate conundrum: Mulder's "fated" quest lays claim to him now that he begins to contemplate another path. As for Scully, she decides to fight-- and fight hard-- to get her partner back, railing against Kersh’s edicts, throwing water in Doggett’s face, asserting her authority over extraterrestrial life, and leading the charge in her own efforts to locate the spaceship.

She almost loses her baby, three times, due to the stress and drive of her choices; yet, Mulder still “dies”-- Fate, it seems, has won. But Mulder is alive (through Skinner's choice); and her hard work pays off when he blinks awake. 

In short: Mulder and Scully beat the machinations of Fate-- he outlasted the torture and death intended for him; and she fought back against others’ intent for her partner, the files, and their child.

A brief note on Scully’s Season 8 pregnancy: in A Christmas Carol, Emily, and Per Manum, we see her throwing caution to the wind to grasp after second chances, unwittingly falling into traps in a vain attempt to capture happiness. In Requiem, Within, Without, and Roadrunners, however, she's pivoted priorities, ruthlessly upping the ante to reclaim her partner, thrusting herself into dangerous situations without first taking the baby’s life into account. It's the same, though inverted, psychological underpinnings: desperation, motivation, and determination. She had to face motherhood alone with Emily Sim; and she was able to face the IVF failure with Mulder’s support. But carrying Mulder’s baby to term and raising it, alone, is another thing; and one she is aware comes with a predetermined end date on the files. Scully justifies the risks and peril-- at first-- in Mulder’s name. Scully bandies about the country trying to keep the files going in her partner's stead, for his return; but the truth is, she is using the files to escape from her reality. And as she finds out in Alone, Scully’s also unable to let the files go-- which surprises her (even though she'd previously refused to let them go during the three months her partner was buried. Perhaps Scully's self-awareness was out to pasture, as often happens when she's buried under stress and grief, e.g. Beyond the Sea, Irresistible, Memento Mori, Elegy, etc.)

This proves a few things: 

As much as Scully proclaims she “wants to settle down, have something approaching a normal life”, and as much as Mulder insists she should go (Fight the Future, Requiem), Scully can’t or won’t leave until it feels right. “Follow your heart, and it’ll take you where you’re supposed to go,” Melissa told her, once (post here); and she was completely correct about her sister. 

As much as Scully committed to leaving the FBI for Emily or the IVF’s sake, she wasn’t ready either time; and was pushing that thought away with countdown clocks and ticking time bombs. 

Scully chose to stay on the files for the entirety (or most) of her pregnancy; and drifted back on maternity leave, conflicted. Saving Doggett’s life one last time and meeting Agent Leyla Harrison assured her that there will always be more believers to take up the cause. She is convinced her decision to leave was the right one, and lets that part of her life go in good conscience.  

It's Three Words, and Mulder is alive! All, however, is not smooth sailing. He is alive but withdrawn, riddled with wounds and PTSD; and Scully is confused and hurt, riddled with guilt and expectations. 

Three Words unfolds, and they get through it together; Empedocles unfolds, and Mulder begins to embrace his role as ‘the father’; Vienen unfolds, and Scully is vexed that her partner ran off to a potential death without remembering his child; Vienen resolves, and Mulder quits; Alone unfolds, and Scully is drawn back to her work while Mulder keeps drawing her away from it; Alone resolves, and both have relaxed into their role as X-Files retirees and impending parents. Mulder chooses to leave, and has taken steps to solidify that choice; Scully realizes she hadn't let go, and makes with her transition.

Yet, we have the madness of Essence and Existence.

The question-- for Mulder at least-- of Fate or Freewill hasn’t been sufficiently settled: in Essence’s opener, he ponders, "But has our ingenuity rendered the miracle into a simple trick? In the artifice of replicating life can we become the creator? Then what of the soul? Can it too be replicated? Does it live in this matter we call DNA? Or is its placement the opposite of artifice, capable only by God? How did this child come to be? What set its heart beating? Is it the product of a union? Or the work of a divine hand, an unanswered prayer, a true miracle? Or is it a wonder of technology, the intervention of other hands? What do I tell this child about to be born? What do I tell Scully? What do I tell myself?" Scully, predictably, doesn’t want to entertain more doubts or heartbreak after her previous scares; and has stuck her head decidedly in the sand (i.e. The Blessing Way, Memento Mori, etc.) That child is his, he knows (post here); but Fate, he feels, has played cruel tricks before. There are already two metaphorical graves for Scully’s children; and another one either grown from a tube or destroyed with Calderon’s abominable experiments. 

The show boils the entirety of (then) canon down to its essential themes: the truth they both know, but the possibilities they fear; Mulder wants to believe, and Scully's afraid to believe.

As previously mentioned, Mulder is caught up in doubts, then conspiracies; and he flails around for answers. When he rushes to her apartment and tries to help her pack, Scully becomes more and more heated at his non-answers.

"No, just stop! Can you tell me what's wrong? Is it something to do with my baby?'

"No," he assures gently, "your, your baby is fine." Then his gravitas shifts, and he adds hurriedly, "It's you who's in danger now, Scully."

"From who? Mulder, from what?"

"I don't know--" that's not enough for Scully, nor her anxiety, "--I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything. I just know I got to get you out of here."

Finally, she yells, “Look, Mulder, look, I can't take this! I can't live like this—as, as the object of some unending X-File.”

Mulder, pushed to his extremis, finally tells her what she needed to hear for most of their partnership and especially after her pregnancy, his death, and his resurrection: “This isn't about the X-Files, Scully. It is only about you. Now, you are going to have this baby and I'm going to do everything I can to protect it.”

These two statements speak volumes: Scully and Mulder have both chosen to put the files behind them.

Why is this so important? Because for the first time in each pit stop towards parenthood-- towards expanding the Scully family, if you will-- this baby and its safety is not an x-file for Mulder, is not another life that wasn’t meant to exist; and this baby is not an x-file for Scully, is not tied to a traumatic, stolen moment from her past. She wants one area of her life to be free from conspiracy and collusion; and he wants the baby (and Scully) to be safe, once and for all.

We’ll keep Existence brief because its nonsensical, illogical, and frankly stupid writing decisions could be studied as a “How Not To” guide. After sending Scully away due to his fears (and relapse into a Freeze response, post here), Mulder comes to his senses and flies out to Georgia, arriving too late to prevent any real danger and missing the birth of his child. Scully, meanwhile, gives up; and allows herself to be schlepped away to the middle of nowhere, giving birth before an audience of unfeeling monsters. Suffice to say, despite multiple factions breathing down their necks and insisting this child is a proof of God or a weapon for or against the planet, William’s birth confirms that he is, indeed, a normal child: a plot twist to Fate and the creatures who attempted to play god. 

If we tune down the unnecessary noise, one key detail sticks out: Scully did not know the sex of her baby. When trying to barter for her baby's life, a mother will do anything to humanize her child to its threat. That action is one with the highest chance of success-- and a medical doctor trained in the FBI would know this. In fact, we've seen Scully use this technique before (ex. in Monday with Bernard.) Yet, she doesn't: she pleads for "my baby" and "please don't let them take it." 'It' is the clearest sign of her ignorance (and was purposefully written that way, I believe-- a two-fold "What is the sex?" and "Will the baby be taken before Scully herself knows?" dose of climax anxiety.)

But does this theory hold up under closer scrutiny?

We know Scully is shown the sex in Per Manum, but that is revealed to be a false result intended to deceive her. There was so much confusion afterward about real babies and alien babies that it was a mess to sort through; and Scully switched doctors, regardless, to ensure her safety.

She likely didn’t want to know anything more after this point, refusing to acknowledge that something might be wrong. This is in line with many, many other examples of her almost blind avoidance when confronted with a truth she doesn't want to face.

When Mulder mentions the connections to Parenti’s clinic in Essence, she tries to shut the conversation down; and when he replies, "That's-that's all I'm trying to do. Just make sure nothing happens to you; that this baby you're carrying is born without any surprises”, she stares him down angrily-- further proof Scully won't entertain these thoughts willingly.

“What we feared were the possibilities,” Mulder confirms in Existence: Scully had those fears, too. Avoiding the sex would be a way to put her fingers in her ears and experience a “normal”, profoundly uninteresting last two trimesters-- “Didn't you have to wait with us?” she tells Maggie. 

An that brings me to another interesting note: her behavior is not dissimilar to Bill Scully setting up shop in an exact replica of his childhood home, trying to copy and paste those traditions for his own family-- which included decorating the nursery in his sisters’ “old” room. In other words: he was recreating Melissa’s past (their past) without referring to her death, just as Scully is escaping fearful possibilities by recreating a the ignorance of the nostalgic past. “You keep things so bottled up,” Maggie worries (post here); and she is deadly accurate. 

Back at Scully’s apartment [x] days later, Mulder arrives; and, for the first time that we see in the series, opens her door with his own key (post here.) 

This is incredibly significant. It cannot be overstated. Scully’s own mother hired a baby nurse to assist her daughter because Scully’s privacy is so finely tuned that Maggie knew she wouldn’t want guests over. Mulder himself only ever dropped in after a knock at the door, even after his resurrection. And, although he had things of his at her place (in all things, @unremarkablehouse and @touchstoneaf's post here) and she had things at his (in Orison, post here), the two hadn’t solidified their cohabitation. Until now, when he waltzes in, greets her guests comfortably, and strolls in to meet and hold his son. And Scully looks up, smiles blissfully, and hands their child over. 

Mulder is enamored, is in awe of his baby; and that look of bliss and wonder is everything Scully could have hoped for.

“William,” she names, after Mulder's father-- a man who bucked the Consortium as much as he could (post here), who gave up and gave in (post here), and who decided, of his own freewill, to own up to his mistakes at the last (post here.)

In short: a shot at Fate. 

After laughing at her partner's shot at Skinner, Scully questions, "I don't understand, Mulder-- they came to take him from us-- why they didn't."

“I don't quite understand that, either. Except that maybe he isn't what they thought he was.” Another shot at Fate. “That doesn't make him any less of a miracle, though, does it?” A third shot at Fate. 

Encouraged, she smiles. It slips as she admits, "When I became pregnant, I feared the truth." More evidence of her head sticking firmly in the sand. "About how. And why. And I know that you feared it, too."

Mulder has an answer already-- he's given this thought since William's birth. "I think what we feared were the possibilities. The truth we both know."

“Which is what?” she asks; and he leans forward and shows her: the final blow. 

Fate is soundly defeated: Mulder, the boy who lost his sister, who set aside a life to find the Truth, has found happiness away from it-- has chosen his own truth. Scully, the woman who chose then doubted her choices, has obtained peace-- has chosen to leave the files after finding her truths, too.

Not only is this ending the culmination of their journey to parenthood, but it also resolves their character arcs: life on this planet, something resembling a normal life, and a manifestation of a bond and willpower stronger than death. 

Last but not least, it also encapsulates the journey’s of each of their family’s legacy-- and on a more personal level, the culmination of their sister’s legacies: Samantha Mulder’s gifted closure (post here) and Melissa Scully’s intuitive guidance (posts here, here, here, and here.)

(But what if William had been inexplicably magical? What if he had had alien powers; or was a creation for and fulfillment of higher purposes? What if he was, in short, the key to everything? 

Then Fate would have won the debate: William was the key to everything; and would be hunted down or chased until evil is defeated, or he saves the world. As Mulder and Scully conclude in The Truth's ending speech:

“I want to believe… that if we listen to what’s speaking, they can give us the power to save ourselves.”

“Then we believe the same thing.” 

In other words, Fate is predetermined; and humanity will be destroyed if they don't listen to and heed its warnings and thunderings. Which would effectively destroy eight years of build-up and resolution: Fate as a tempered option, Freewill as a vehicle for growth and change, Conscience as the deciding factor. It would destroy Mulder and Scully's individual and mutual arcs, their son's conception and birth, their sisters' losses and legacies, their families' virtues and faults, failures and victories. In short: it would be a predetermined-- fated, if you will-- mess.)

CONCLUSION

And that brings us to the conclusion of the Scully Family In-Depth series! 

Thanks for reading!

Enjoy~

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

[bobauthorman]

The Luffy-Kid Connection

With the recent chapter of One Piece being released, I thought I should talk more about Eustass Kid This isn’t an in-depth analysis of his character and motivations, but instead delves into how he parallels our main protagonist, Monkey D. Luffy.

From the very beginning, Kid is introduced as a dark reflection to Luffy, from having roughly the same bounty (Albeit a little higher) and having a Number 2 with a 9-digit bounty of his own. They even want the same thing, to be Pirate King. Hell, when they are first seen fighting together, they unveil the thematically same technique.

However, while Luffy and his crew have saved numerous nations from destruction and freed them from tyranny, Kid is infamous in-universe for wreaking havoc on the common folk. It could be easy to write this off as propaganda or exaggeration, but as we see in chapter 594, Kid has no problem with crucifying people he’s beaten. This is a level of viciousness we’ve only seen on the worst of enemies, and a sign that whatever’s said about Kid may not be entirely fabricated. And while Luffy has always been concern about non-coms getting caught in the crossfire, Kid makes it clear he doesn’t care who gets hurt outside of his crew.

Furthermore, there is the matter of humility. Luffy always had people question or mock his dream of being Pirate King, but he just shrugs them off, only throwing down with those who plan on trying to get his way of that. Kid, on the other hand, admits to killing people who laughed at him. Remember the time in Mock Town when neither Luffy or Zoro bothered to fight back against the Bellamy Pirates for mocking the concept of dreams? I sincerely doubt neither Kid or Killer would be so restrained.

When the story brings Kid back into the spotlight, we see he is trying to form an alliance among his fellow pirates…just like Luffy, at the time, went into an alliance with Law to take down one of the Four Emperors. And while Luffy made it clear at the time that he wanted to beat the Emperors except for Shanks (Or, more accurately, that Shanks not be the first), Kid’s prospective alliance was made for the explicit purpose of beating Shanks. And while Luffy’s alliance works out, Kid ends up betrayed and cheated by the pirates he tried to trust.

In Wano, where both men are beaten and captured by Kaido, Luffy and Kid end up in competition over who can do the most labor (And, I am deeply impressed that Kid can carry just as much as Luffy with one arm). But while Luffy helps Old Man Hyo and learns a new Haki technique, Kid walks out as soon as he can, and doesn’t.

And finally, we reach Elbaf, where Kid finds himself in a rematch with Shanks. A very short rematch, to be precise (I was rooting for Shanks, btw), but it’s here that we see two more old friends, Dorry and Broggy from Little Garden. The same technique that once cleared the path for the Straw Hats to sail on their way, it is used to sink Kid’s ship. And speaking of this fight, recollect back to Alabasta, when the Straw Hats saw the Barogue Works fleet but chose not to attack, not wanting to waist their time on small-fry. Kid, on the other hand, made the choice to attack the lesser pirates in Shanks’ fleet…which played a big part in why Shanks waisted no time stomping Kid.

In short, Kid’s role is in part how integral Luffy’s natural kindness and empathy is to his becoming Pirate King…by showing how screwed he’d be without it.

[dagorez]

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[m-aremagnum]

[s-aint-elmo]

pass it on!

(ID in alt text)

[kunosoura]

[dokidoki-digest]

Hatoful Boyfriend ❤ Game Review

System: PC, PS4+PSVita

Price: $9.99, $9.99 (for both PS4 and PSVita)

Voice Acting: No

ESRB Rating: E (10+)

Overall Rating: Stole 8/10 ♥s

Original Published Date: December 8th, 2020. Pre-Game Perception: Dating pigeons. The premise is the joke, so the entire game is bound to keep needling at the absurdity of dating sims with birds.

[dimonds456]

Hey, guys? Make peace with yellow teeth. I'm so serious right now.

[randomfoggytiger]

Fight the Future Hallway, In-Depth (Part III): "No, Something Stung Me"

Resolution made, Scully quietly ruminates over ideas, raising an eyebrow when one sticks. Steeling herself for her own first undisguised overture, she closes her eyes and swiftly pulls back to face Mulder.

Mulder remains frozen in place, face hardened, afraid her withdrawal is his anticipated rejection. As Scully cups the back of his head and crushes her mouth to his forehead, his eyes immediately close: emotionally overwhelmed.

Prolonging the kiss, Scully presses her lips harder, scrunching her face and eyebrows in an attempt to translate the ardor of her devotion and awe and gratitude and love.

Mulder flexes his mouth and clenches his jaw, understanding her gesture, feeling its depths, and holding back a responding wave of emotion. When she finally separates, his jaw and lips remain tightly clenched.

Leaning her head against his, Scully attempts to center herself-- them-- with a slow, purposeful, breathy release.

Mulder’s eyes pop open at her exhale, an idea of his own taking shape; and closes them again briefly while his hands plunge forward for purchase on the back of her head.

Both pull back in sync; and Scully studies his face freely for the first time-- no pretenses between them, unashamed of the tear still clinging to her cheek.

The feeling of being precious to him, of seeing the proof of it in his eyes, nearly overwhelms her in a different teary direction; and she looks away to tamp down a giddy surge of joy. Turning back, her eyes glance at the one thing Mulder hasn't given her: his mouth.

Her expression drops slightly, becoming more serious as she weighs his present confession against his past retreats-- purposeful or not-- from more serious or passionate subjects (his sneer at her "date" in The Jersey Devil, his attempts to lighten the bent of her maternal considerations in Home, his idealized worship of doomed soulmates in The Field Where I Died, his blind run after monsters and initial avoidance of her cancer topic in Detour.) She looks back up from these unspoken observations… and finds Mulder openly eyeing her with want.

Scully freezes, shifting between his eyes in shock. What she sees is the truth; and, when his expression doesn't change, she slowly moves in a little closer.

Mulder’s eyes are hooded and tender, bearing his soul to Scully as he never has to another being-- to the one and only person who accepted his brokenness long ago, who trusts and believes in him regardless, and who, consequently, makes him wholly beautiful.

He is handing her his heart, complete.

His partner's undeniable, brazen reciprocation of his heartfelt confessions have stripped away the last of his halting considerations. Mulder begins to slowly pull her in, zeroing in on and maintaining laser-focus with her eyes for any signs of hesitation or rejection.

Scully, feeling his reciprocal move towards her, nearly loses control of her smile again; but lets it shine through her eyes as she keeps them locked onto his. Her eyebrows scrunch and her mouth tightens, powerful emotions tightening her chest: not only is she ready, she’s been hoping for this moment.  

Mulder continues to inch slowly forward, and she smooths out her face to further encourage him, getting lost in the moment as it continues to progress. 

He blinks, still moving at a snail’s pace, waiting and waiting and waiting for her to back away or tell him to stop. Expecting it. 

When she doesn’t he covers more ground, caressing her cheekbone as another small test before the kill shot. He gives her one last chance, catching her eye; and when she glances away only to look directly at his lips, they both prepare for his descent: Mulder closes his eyes, while Scully waits until completely certain he will follow-through.

Then the bee stings, and she startles away. 

Scully launches to the side-- “Ow!”-- while Mulder almost topples onto her, eyes still closed. He snaps back to reality as she clutches at the back of her neck, staring down at her hand in confusion before drawing away, misreading her quick reaction as the last minute rejection he’d been expecting. Again, he closes his eyes-- this time in chagrin-- and opens his mouth in disappointment and embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.   

“No,” Scully assures, indignant at the interruption, confused as she identifies its cause. "Something stung me."

Mulder takes in her reassurance; and as the rational part of his brain kicks in, he pulls his hand away from her neck, not wanting to get hurt by whatever injured Scully.

Scully extracts her unexpected passenger, staring at it, puzzled.

He examines it, too; then peels back her shirt collar to inspect the damage on her neck.

Risk assessment over, Mulder intuits, “He must got in your shirt.”

Disappointment and resignation pour from his voice as he rubs her neck and cradles her head, working his way back through the last minute mentally. Mulder's already accepted her assurance; but now has to process (and live with) the interruption of their first kiss.

And, of course: “Mulder…?”

“Yeah?”

“Something’s wrong.” 

Something's wrong, indeed.

CONCLUSION

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[sa7abnews]

Russia and Iran's drone warfare in northwest Syria

New Post has been published on Sa7ab News

Russia and Iran's drone warfare in northwest Syria

In-depth: Civilians in northwest Syria are being terrorised by a new threat being deployed against them by the Syrian regime and its allies: suicide drones.

... read more !

[fdotaku]

The Sublime Femdom of "Little Tyrant"

Preface: This is a review post about a non-porn, largely non-femdom story that deeply appeals to me personally, in part due to its major femdom themes. But don't expect fap material! It's a Chinese xuanhuan cultivation novel that was also adapted into a webtoon. If you're still curious, please hit the jump and brace yourself for an enthusiastic wall of text, sprinkled with beautiful art to try to help retain your attention.

Introduction I: A Dream of Mine

You can find countless varieties of fictional femdom these days. For example, there's drawn/rendered femdom porn in the form of comics/CG sets/games/still art, which is the main subject of this blog, i.e. "2D femdom". There's erotic literature, and voice dramas. There's a subset of photographic femdom porn that constitutes fiction. On top of that, a lot of fictional femdom eroticism is not porn: it's mass-marketed and often high-budget. Like scenes in Hollywood movies or music videos that involve sadistic women. Or anime with kinky dommes, often thrown in for comic relief.

All of us have different fictional/idealistic preferences and cognitive predispositions, which influence which mediums we take an interest in, and how we like to see our femdom fetishism represented in them.

Let me tell you about one of my dreams. For a while now, I've wanted to see a story with a plot that's genuinely interesting, and enjoyable in its own right… but with a protagonist who's unapologetically submissive, and a heroine who's dominant and for whom that dominance is respected and embraced within the work itself, who are romantically requited. That's right, I want a good piece of fiction to depict a satisfying femdom romance while also not having a romance focus. The femdom should be a feature, not a crutch to attract a niche to read a story they otherwise wouldn't.

We've at least moved past the old era where major 2D franchises' fictional characters could never have legitimized D/s kinks. For example, there's Darkness from KonoSuba or even better Tio from Arifureta. But those two are still far from my ideal, not least because they're cases of maledom rather than femdom. And editorial censorship is still rampant; such openly sadomasochistic lead characters could only be born because both of those series started as web novels, a medium which pushes the boundaries of acceptable expression.

Introduction II: The Core Premises are Regression and Cultivation

Now then, the subject of this article is a web novel called Little Tyrant Doesn't Want to Meet with a Bad End (Chinese name: 恶役少爷不想要破灭结局), authored by Bells on Cat Ears (猫耳铃铛).

Little Tyrant, which I'll call LTBE from now on, is a medieval fantasy web novel in which magic and even deities exist. The male lead is a 10-year-old boy named Roel Ascart who lives in a medieval fantasy world, and suddenly awakens to memories of his past life: he was a college student from our world, and in our world he played a ren'ai game called Eyes of the Chronicler… and bizarrely, this world is the very world of that game. Based on Roel's knowledge of the game's plot, he knows that the side character Roel who he's currently reincarnated as is a mean-spirited brat of a noble family which loses everything; after that, he joins an evil cult, and years later is justifiably murdered by the game's heroines. Roel doesn't understand why he's in this odd situation, but the memories of the "game" match up to this world, so he fears for his life. Thus, he desperately tries to proactively change his fate, which means acting differently toward others and taking his life more seriously.

Over the course of the full 670-chapter, more than 1 million-word epic novel that spans many years, he succeeds beyond his expectations, though he encounters almost equal adversity. He tries to make the heroines he fears "not hate" him (result: they fall in love with him, and vice-versa!), and become "strong enough to survive on his own" (result: he becomes badass!). This much isn't a spoiler; the fact that LTBE is a harem romance and has a conditionally overpowered protagonist are core selling points for this kind of web novel. The real pleasure is seeing how everything plays out. The story is quite complex and dramatic at times, with constant near-death experiences for Roel.

LBTE is both a regression novel and a cultivation novel. I'm not sure if you, reader, have read many regression novels or cultivation novels before. Cultivation refers to a power level trope in which strength is divided into "realms", higher realms are reached through diligent and methodical strategy, breakthroughs often require one to risk their life, and the strongest people have lengthy lifespans and god-like powers. Regression refers to a story about a person who time leaps to the past to redo their (or someone else's) life and fix mistakes. (You may recognize this specific kind of regression plot from "villainess" anime like Hamefura or 7th Time Loop; the regression of a spoiled young noble is a popular premise.) Whether you will like LBTE ultimately mostly depends on whether you will like either or both of these novel genres. The femdom is far from the core appeal. If you try it read LBTE just for the femdom and don't like the rest of it, you probably won't make it very far in!

Now that I'm about to talk about the femdom, let me make this completely clear. As I stated in my preface, this novel is not femdom BDSM porn. There's no pegging or chastity cages. There's no 24/7 D/s relationships or even outright submission. You shouldn't have excessively high expectations. However, LBTE still has what I consider the most unapologetic femdom dynamic of any mainstream story I've ever read. And the story is actually good on top of that (if you like this kind of novel)! That's why I praise it as "sublime" in the title of this post.

Dominant and Controlling Heroines, and a Submissive Hero

LBTE is a little different from a typical power fantasy. It's not a story where the male lead is OP and the heroines are his sycophants.

The physical dynamic: For one, all four of the heroines are significantly stronger than Roel in a conventional context. Technically, if Roel is in perfect form and goes all-out and unleashes his trump cards in a battle to the death, he's stronger than the heroines. However, that kind of heroic scenario that makes Roel looks cool only happens at climactic moments. For the vast majority of the story, Roel either is forced to hide his power, he can't tap into it, or most often of all, he's in a severely weakened state as a result of his power's backlash. The four heroines, on the other hand, are absolute geniuses who possess combat ability that won't lose to anyone their age. They also wield greater wealth and/or influence than Roel. That means that for the entire novel, the heroines are almost always free to physically do whatever they want with Roel, and it's difficult for him to physically resist them. He often has to negotiate, or play on their emotions (they do that to him more than he does it to them, though!) if he wants to evade their advances.

The personality dynamic: Roel is a massive tsundere. He has a lot to worry about, and many secrets. Therefore, he tries to keep his distance from the heroines, aided by his sharp tongue and self-confident demeanor, despite how much he cares about them. However, they don't let him. They quickly realize he's all bark and no bite. He can't bring himself to ever say a mean word to them, and rarely ever pushes them away when they start to be intimate with him, unless it's in public and they refuse to let go of him quickly. They frequently play on his emotions, and he's even described as "weak to their tears". The heroines also often flirt with him forwardly in ways that make him actually blush. The novel isn't subtle about this dynamic, either. The narrative states that "the Ascarts' men seemed to have an inclination toward dominant women" in chapter 328, and "in view of the Ascarts’ odd preference for dominant women, Nora and Charlotte had paid particular attention to Lilian ever since enrollment" in chapter 332.

Yes, he's whipped, he's the bottom rung in this novel's love polygon, and I love it. That's just the kind of femdom hero I idealize: someone who doesn't have a subconscious insecurity about the fact that the girl they love is strong and assertive, and thus doesn't try to suppress her dominant demeanor, but instead plays the perfect counterpart to it, legitimizing and affirming it. There are many male leads in other stories who, when faced with a domineering heroine, will suddenly act in a way that sweeps her off her feet, and causes her sadistic smile to transform into a maidenly blush, as if her dominance was just a bluff or thin pretense to cover her true personality. I assure you, LBTE is not like that.

From here on, I'll talk about the heroines in detail, and you should expect SPOILERS. If you want to try this novel yourself first, I recommend that you skip down to the section "Where To Read It" instead.

Nora Xeclyde, the Sadistic Saintess

Nora Xecylde, the princess and future pope of the Saint Mesit Theocracy, is by far the most dominant heroine in LBTE, and also the only one of the four heroines explicitly called "sadistic" in the narrative. She experiences joy from abusing and trampling on others. In the original timeline that only Roel knows, she had to hide her true self for the sake of political stability, but she unleashed these cruel tendencies in combat as a way to relieve stress, which led to her being famous as the "Bloodthirsty Angel" who torturously butchered her enemies on the battlefield. That history changes when she meets Roel, the son of a noble who's part of her father's political faction, and she quickly discovers that is somehow aware of her true personality that she'd tried to hide. After realizing that he's someone who can keep a secret, she relishes the chance to toy with him and express her unusual desires; she's amused by him, especially his fear of her. Her sadism is also how she expresses her love, and over the course of the story, the more she truly cares for him, the more bullying him truly grants her happiness.

Nora's character is quite deep, and she's by far the best "femdom heroine" in LBTE. My brief summaries here won't do justice to all of a lengthy development she receives; you'll need to read the novel itself for that. Over the course of the story, Roel frequently complains about how perverted she is and expresses aversion to being the subject to her sadism, but from the start he acknowledges and accepts it completely. In one occasion where she expresses self-doubt about how her perversions make it hard for him to have a relationship with her, he vehemently corrects her and tells she shouldn't change, that her nobility, spirit of self-sacrifice, kindness, and sadism are all irreplaceable parts of who she is. She frequently talks as if he is already her property, or says that she wishes he would lie down and let her step on him, tie him up, and so on. On special occasions when he wants to make her happy, he'll even proactively cooperate with her wishes. Of course, her magically cultivated physique is superior to his, so he can't physically resist her anyway.

Early on, Roel and Nora meet Victoria Xecylde and Ponte Ascarte, distant relatives of their respective families who are also in a romantic relationship. What's incredible is that those two also have a somewhat femdom dynamic, and the story deeply emphasizes this. Ponte's powers actually have a ritualistic penalty which requires him to keep journals of his embarrassing thoughts, show them to at least one other person, and make sure they are never destroyed. Since he's Victoria's bodyguard, he ends up having to show her his journals in which he fawns over how cute she is and writes other fetishistic thoughts about her… despite being technically a married man (purely political and loveless; they haven't seen each other for many years). Victoria uses this as blackmail material to keep him under her thumb, and constantly teases him; she's also attracted to him, and tries to persuade him to elope with her (and eventually they do!). One pair of sentences I particularly like: "The two princesses of the Xeclydes displayed their dominant personalities, leaving the two subdued Ascart boys looking at one another. They suddenly realized just how low of a standing they seemed to have before these two women." And take a look at this humorous excerpt:

Roel didn’t just look at their interactions but the atmosphere around them and the subtle gestures they made too. While Victoria had hidden it well, from time to time, she would still exude a certain disposition that he was deeply familiar with. He shot a glance toward the well brought up Nora, and he suddenly understood where her sadistic tendencies had originated from. It’s a hereditary trait that shows up once every few generations, huh? Perhaps it was because she had sensed Roel’s thoughts, but Nora suddenly turned her head over and stared at him. Under her intent gaze, he quickly averted his eyes, only to be met with Ponte’s gaze right after. The two boys of the Ascart House exchanged looks, and they suddenly felt a sense of camaraderie with one another. It was a feeling of deep connection created by mutual sympathy for one another, due to suffering through the same plight. They were like oppressed peasants ready to raise up in arms against the Xeclyde girls… … though it was not as if they would really dare to do so. Their rebellion would probably just be quelled in an instant.

Most of all, I love the way Roel and Nora's relationship evolves after her second major character arc, a life-and-death crisis which is the most memorable arc to me. I'll hold back on details, but in that arc, he crafts a special magical tool for her, one which saves her from despair and also reaffirms the deep connection between the two of them. However, after the arc is over, it becomes clear that Nora now has full mastery of that tool, and can unexpectedly use it to control and dominate Roel. It's romantic and endearing how he finds himself unwilling to complain at having it used on him after she reminds him of the circumstances of the gift.

Perhaps to counterbalance her sadism, Nora is actually the main heroine who treats Roel with the most respect. She's the only one of the four who never outright kidnaps him.

Alicia Ascart, the Clingy Stepsister

Alicia is adopted by Roel's father shortly before the story of LBTE begins, and is a pretty but otherwise seemingly ordinary girl two years younger than her new stepbrother. However, Roel knows from the plot of the game Eyes of the Chronicler that Alicia is actually incredibly talented as a transcendent (magic user), and would become a church-affiliated assassin after the "side character" Roel Ascart mistreats her. And so, he's determined to make sure he treats her well in this life. But Roel accidentally dotes on his sister so hard that she falls obsessively in love with him. After that, she becomes a master schemer, and pretends to be a meek, innocent, and gentle little sister so that he will completely let down his guard around her.

I'll take this opportunity to provide an important disclaimer: if you're the kind of person who applies real-world psychological models to the behavior of regressors toward other young non-regressors and often finds it problematic, you may want to stay away from LBTE. Furthermore, if you don't like the idea of a young girl who isn't even double digits yet lusting after her brother who's barely older than her, you may want to stay away too! Yes, this novel is like that at times. Of course, she's just a kid, so there's no actual sexual acts or explicit descriptions, just, uh, a very physical obsession with him. She's seriously a horny kid. The webtoon adaptation (more on that later) actually chooses to turn a 1-year time skip into a 3-year time skip, and gives the heroines very full figures, and I think Alicia might be half the reason why. But anyway, back to the subject of femdom.

Alicia not only keeps her affections a secret from Roel, so when she's physically intimate with him, he believes that she's just overly attached to her brother. And she keeps her power level a secret too, so that when she casts spells to send him into a deep sleep to stop his resistance when she sneaks into his bed at night, he doesn't suspect that she's the reason for his suddenly sleepiness. At one point, she does this when they're on a road trip, but screws up, so Roel's guards mistake her for a succubus-like monster and almost attack her. In any case, while he's in a magic-induced sleep, she will often kiss him a lot, and her behaviors both in the day and in the night are specifically designed by her to try to make him emotionally dependent on her and unable to live without her or unable to do what would make her unhappy. Later on in the novel, she uses her power as a kind of magical aphrodisiac, and she eventually secretly employs actual aphrodisiacs (just once, though; Roel does NOT appreciate this, and makes that clear). At one point, Alicia gives romantic advice to another woman and reveals a bit too much of her character in the process:

“When it comes to quickly advancing a relationship, the best way is still to rely on drugs.” “Ah? Drugs?” Chris was horrified to hear a potential criminal plan coming from a young woman's mouth. What further frightened her was how naturally Alicia mentioned it, as if it was perfectly normal. “That's right. Lord Brother is a smart person, but he's innocent when it comes to relationships. As long as I can 'secure' him, it would be my victory.” “No, I mean, won't most people get angry at something like that?” “Of course. Lord Brother would definitely get angry, but I'm not afraid. I just have to burst into tears, and that would soften his heart right away.” This woman is terrifying!

All of the Ascart family's servants (mostly maids) are Alicia's allies, who secretly support her in her efforts to advance her relationship with her brother; the plan is to eventually have her father un-adopt her, and then re-marry into the Ascart house formally, which would be societally acceptable. Her Origin Attribute that forms the basis of her transcendent powers is Perfection, which means that she grows in power the more she engages in efforts to be what she considers 'perfect'. And she chooses to be the 'perfect younger sister' and the 'perfect wife'. Alicia's personality is very yandere-ish, as she was the first heroine to meet him and wants to monopolize him; she's sweet to him, but cold and ruthless to those she views as her enemies. Well, later on in the novel, there's a major shake-up related to the secret of her bloodline, which leads her into brief dramatic confrontation with Roel, so it's not as if that coldness is never directed at him, either.

Charlotte Sorofya, the Merchant Heiress

The first scene with Charlotte introduces her as a high status young lady who uses her divination abilities to declare that a businessman associated with her family had become involved in gambling, and cut him off financially. Her ability to see through things and her calm personality and leadership abilities appear intimidating at first. That said, it's soon revealed that her racist mother abandoned her because Charlotte has some elven blood, and she yearns to have a family that truly loves her. Her Loyalty Origin Attribute also causes her to be unable to betray whoever she falls in love with, so she's clearly heroine material. In fact, for the most part, she's the least dominant of the four heroines. She never purposefully humiliates him like Nora, and never helps herself to his body while he can't resist like Alicia.

However, it's exactly because she is so sincere that she can without hesitation commit crimes to try to requite her love for Roel. And her gentle demeanor just makes it scarier. Charlotte's first character arc and second character arc happen one after the other… because she falls in love with him in her first arc, and kidnaps him in her second arc! This is still probably the second most memorable arc of the entire novel to me. She "stealth kidnaps" him such that he himself doesn't realize that he has been kidnapped even weeks later, coming up with various excuses and lies that let her take him further and further away from his home. When he's finally about to realize the truth of his situation, she suddenly asks him in a very meek way if he will forgive her if she does something wrong, and when he reluctantly says that he will, the next moment, she knocks him unconscious! And when he next wakes up, he finds himself in her bed in the neighboring nation. What's unique is that while she does all this out of a determination to marry him (well, she's also afraid that she'll be separated from him and thus unable to continue to provide him with critical medical treatment), she's still afraid of him hating her, so she comes up with all kinds of ways to ply him, which includes bribes. As the future leader of a nation ruled by merchants, her personal wealth in unimaginable, and she doesn't hesitate to offer to pay Roel for his forgiveness, and since he's desperate for money for various reasons, he always accepts. Roel is also familiar with the characteristics of her Origin Attribute and knows that she will always love him, so as the person who caused her to fall in love, he also feels some responsibility for her extreme behavior.

At the start of Charlotte's first arc, Alicia actually schemes with Nora and the Ascart family servants to frame Roel as a cruel womanizer, all to make Charlotte lose interest in him. For a while, they actually succeed, and the result is that for a period of time Charlotte looks at Roel, as well as speaks to him, like he is human trash. Her behavior honestly felt like femdom fanservice to me… I've actually fantasized about this kind of plot device, where a character is framed and it causes a heroine who could've loved him to despise him instead, in a femdom context many times. Also, while Charlotte is for the most part hands-off and gentle, she's not above teasing Roel either:

“How do you intend to measure me without using a measuring tape?” asked Roel in confusion. There was a gleam in Charlotte's eyes as she raised her hand and waved it about. “I'll be using this.” Under the dim lighting of the Dancing Butterfly Manor, a faint blush could be seen forming on Charlotte's beautiful face. She softly placed her dainty hands on Roel's chest and used her fingers to measure the breadth of Roel's chest. Roel felt awkward at the situation. The two of them were so close that all it took was a step forward to embrace her soft body. He could feel Charlotte's warm breath tickling his neck, and it sent a shudder to run through his body. “Ah. Did I tickle you by accident?” asked Charlotte. “No, it's fine.” Roel turned his head away and refuted her question. Charlotte stared at him intently for a while when realization suddenly struck her. Her lips curled upward. Instead of taking a step back, she took another step forward. “Is that so? I'll continue then,” said Charlotte with a teasing note to her voice. She placed her finger on Roel's chest once more and resumed her measurement of his chest, but her focus wasn't on the measurement this time around. She kept fidgeting during her measurement, causing her body to constantly lean in and bump into Roel's. … On the other hand, Charlotte was getting more and more absorbed in her teasing, especially when she noticed the gradual reddening of Roel's cheeks. It took her all she had to hold back her laughter, but it still didn't take long for him to catch onto her prank.

But for the most part, Charlotte does not express much dominance compared to the other heroines.

Lilian Ackermann, the Cool Senior

There's no doubt that Lilian is an imperious and authoritative character. After all, she's been in ruthless competition with her brothers for the imperial throne since she was a child. She doesn't have anyone she can trust. Overall, she's incredibly smart, powerful, and competent, and Roel is a noble a nation which is her empire's chief rival, so from the start of their relationship as fellow students, she takes pains to not be friendly with her junior Roel. That said, she and Roel eventually discover a certain mysterious connection that leads them to trust each another, but you'll have to read the novel itself if you want more details on that.

However, what truly amazes me about Lilian is her second arc and its massive oneshota energy. (This is another one of those arcs where my above disclaimer about people sensitive to "problematic" content in fantasy stories applies! Then again, if you can't tolerate lowkey oneshota you probably can't tolerate half of Japanese femdom, so you're probably? not a reader of this blog...) Simply put, Roel is magically transformed into a little kid as a side effect of his powers. This not only makes him physically smaller and weaker, it somehow makes him more emotionally unstable. Oh, and his clothes don't fit him anymore, so Lilian initially offers him a used towel that smells like her to wrap around his waist. Meanwhile, another character advises and tempts Lilian (who has just fallen in love with Roel) to try to take advantage of this situation to cement her relationship with him.

Yep, that's correct, this whole arc is about the heroine scheming to seduce a pseudo-shota. I'm not even exaggerating at all; the prose is outright psychoerotic:

Looking at the adorable little creature in her arms made Lilian feel like an arrow had shot right into [her] heart. Her breathing that had remained stable even as she scaled across mountains turned erratic, and her body started to heat up. … How would he taste like [referencing a deep kiss] in his current form? … Lilian stared at the person on the bed as her breathing hastened. She placed her trembling hands on his oversized clothes, knowing that she could remove it all with just a simple tug. Words couldn't begin to describe how attractive that notion was to her, but she felt like she would completely lose control if she gave in to her desires.

The issue here was that Roel had retained his hypersensitivity to mana as an Origin Level 4 transcendent despite losing his powers, resulting in the suppression he felt from Lilian being abnormally powerful. Naturally, the instinctive fear he felt toward her was much stronger too. So, Lilian changed her strategy right away. She first reined in her mana that had gotten lively due to her agitated emotions before slowly approaching the boy with steady footsteps. She tried to make her expression look as gentle and friendly as possible so as to not appear threatening. On the other hand, Roel was feeling greatly panicked and confused. His logical mind told him that the person before him was Lilian, someone whom he could trust, but for some reason, there was a pang of fear in his heart that identified her as a menacing threat that he mustn’t get close to. It was like the innate fear a peasant felt when standing before the emperor, a sense of inferiority toward a higher life form. It was so oppressive that he dared not to even look into Lilian’s eyes. Even when he felt the bed undulating from her climbing onto it and crawling over to his side, his eyes still remained firmly lowered, not daring to raise them in the least. On the bed, Lilian was crawling up to where Roel was, but the latter was still looking downward with a reddened face. Roel was feeling conflicted at the moment. On one hand, his innate fear was prompting him to stay away from Lilian, but on the other hand, he was enchanted by the gorgeous woman before him. These two intense feelings pricked at his nerves. Terrifying… but beautiful. I want to get close to her.

The solemn vow made Roel raise his head and look at her with widened eyes. This was the first time he was looking straight at her since the regression of his body. He found himself met with a pair of clear amethyst eyes that were tender and determined. They gleamed brightly as if there were stars in them, and the only thing reflected in them was him. The woman who stood firmly behind a towering fortress to protect him from the dangers beyond surfaced in his mind, and slowly, the fear he felt from the suppression of Origin Levels disappeared. In its place came a flood of shame. He felt awful for fearing someone who was willing to put her life on the line for him. Lilian noticed Roel’s self-reproach, but she didn’t say a word at all. She simply opened her arms wide with a smile, her action far surpassing the significance of any words. “I’m sorry, senior,” murmured Roel hoarsely. The two of them embraced one another right after. Roel was unable to reach Lilian’s shoulder due to his miniaturized physique, resulting in him being buried into Lilian’s breasts across the towel. He was uncomfortable with this, but at the same time, a mixture of gratitude and affection made him reluctant to part from her… not to mention that he was indeed unable to move at all. Lilian’s arm was holding his waist firmly, causing their bodies to be pressed together. He could hear her hastened heartbeat loud and clear. Bloodline resonance, despite being weakened, naturally occurred between the two of them. Time ticked by, and their bodies began flushing red.

That other character I mentioned, a mysterious ally with a seductive personality, tells Lilan that if she doesn't make Roel hers consensually, Lilian's inner darkness will compel her to forcefully make him hers later, and describes this doomsday scenario: "He will try to stop you, but can't. He'll be ruined by soft-heartedness in the end. He can't bring himself to kill you, and you will exploit his weakness to defeat him. By then, that twisted love of yours will compel you to murder all of the women by his side. What else will you do once your obsession for him runs amok? I reckon that imprisoning him is only the appetizer…" And crazily enough, Lilian knows in her heart that what the other character tells her is true: "Indeed, she was shaken not because of the terrifying prediction but by the realization that she actually felt a hint of anticipation for it. The feeling wasn't strong, but it proved that such dark thoughts did exist in the recesses of her mind."

Over the course of this arc, she also dresses up as a maid and Roel dresses like nobility, so they disguises themselves as a young master and his caretaker. Note that the novel specifically mentions that the maid outfit is very conservative, not at all like the maid cosplay Roel recalled from his previous life's memories, yet in the webtoon adaptation, they ditch that and just dress her in a sexy maid outfit. Hooray for non-faithful adaptations?

That's it for my overview of the main heroines' femdom elements, and I think I covered many of their best femdom moments. Let me just close by making two further points for the record. First, there's still a lot more femdom that I just didn't take the time to describe, so look forward to it. And second, don't forget that this is above all an epic action story with a genuinely rich setting, and a badass male lead; I just made him look pathetic because I highlighted all the moments where he's at his most vulnerable, which is in front of the heroines. But he seriously is a badass; just look at this Stand of his.

Where to Read It

You're in luck! The entire Chinese web novel has been licensed and officially translated by the website Hostednovel, and is available to read for free on their ad-supported website. That said, if you're so inclined, you may want to buy the cheap ebooks on Amazon which cover I believe ~70 and ~90 chapters each, around the first quarter of the entire epic, since those have been further edited. This TL project, which started exactly 4 years ago and finished around 7 months ago, has been a major labor of love by the prolific and experienced translator StarveCleric and their editors, even running a fan art contest. The Fandom wiki is also highly detailed.

As for the webtoon, that's a little more complicated. The original Chinese version of it was recently completed with 97+1 chapters total. ZeroScans fan scanlated to English 36 chapters of it, and it was licensed and officially scanlated by the international version of Bilibili Comics under the name "Evil Young Master Doesn't Want a Bad Ending" and scanlated there up to I believe chapter 59, but then the entire site shut down so it's not available anymore legally. Then as far as I can tell, the website Manuafast did a low quality scanlation of the rest of the chapters. So the only way to read it is to, for example, read the first 36 chapters on MangaDex and the finish the rest on a site like Manhuafast which pirates official scans to fill the gaps. Furthermore, the webtoon abruptly cut the story short, i.e it was axed: 95 webtoon chapters cover around 400 of the 670 novel chapters, then from the very start of webtoon chapter 96 it abruptly time skips and summarizes major future events, lore dumps, and adapts the last few novel chapters. Whatever you do, don't read past chapter 95 of the webtoon before you've read the full novel. Furthermore, the webtoon itself, while pretty to look at it, doesn't adapt all the details of the story, so I personally suggest you only use the webtoon as a way to check whether you like the style of LBTE's story, before you switch to the novel.

Final Thoughts

At the beginning, I wrote about a dream of mine. So, does LBTE realize that dream? Honestly, not quite. While LBTE is indeed a good piece of fiction that doesn't have a femdom focus, and it's also mainstream to the point that it received a webtoon adaptation and localization, it doesn't quite reach my ideal for a "satisfying femdom romance". Close, though. The reason is that Roel, while being a bit submissive, isn't submissive enough to completely receive Nora's sadism. She's constantly holding herself back for his sake.

I think the fundamental difficulty in seeing this "dream" realized is that the more explicit a story's BDSM, the more that story is likely to narrow in on the romance and take time to justify it and contextualize it. Nana to Kaoru (maledom) is like that. Many josei demographic femdom romance manga similarly try to characterize BDSM as a metaphor for trust, to try to make it seem less crazed to the vanilla. And in Arifureta (again, maledom), there's one arc where Hajime, a semi-closet sadist, and Tio, a brazen masochist, are mysteriously transported to another world by themselves, and they take advantage of the situation where no one knows them, to have Hajime fit her with a dragon-sized ballgag and whip her while riding her around in her dragon form; that incredible scene could only happen because they effectively left the main story behind and went off on a honeymoon, so there are no spectators. From easiest to hardest to see in a mainstream franchise, I think it's ranked like this: openly masochistic heroine < openly sadistic heroine < openly sadistic male lead < openly masochistic male lead. In particular, an openly masochistic male lead is a very hard sell to a lot of people; the #1 complaint I saw from English-speaking fans about LBTE is that the male lead let the heroines push him around too much. Still, I continue to dream. Similar to how IMO gay romances are best when they ditch the overly self-conscious drama and secrecy and just have side characters be casually supportive, one day I hope to see some femdom relationships where side characters are aware of it, understand it, and respect it. Web novels, and perhaps even web manga, will probably lead the way.

When I first read LBTE, I was so surprised and happy with what I found that I decided I had to post about it. And so, here we are. As I wrote at the very start: LBTE isn't a story every femdom fan will enjoy, because it's not outright erotica. But I hope this review has at least helped you appreciate its existence.

Side Talk

I first read this story back in April-May, and took extensive notes and screenshots as I read it to prepare for this post. And now, it's finally done… like I said before, I have many ideas for other posts. The next one I come up with will definitely be smaller in scale and not involve as much research. Lately, I've been playing a lot of Japanese femdom RPGs, so maybe I'll talk about those.

This year, the credit card duopoly has also been contacting various Japanese web platforms that sell 2D adult content one after another, 90% of those platforms not making any changes and losing access to the VISA/Mastercard systems, which now makes it harder sometimes for foreign users (as well as domestic Japanese users, if the alternatives are inconvenient to them) to buy from them. Of course, this affects femdom content. It's an unfortunate trend, but the steadfast resistance of many business has been reassuring. I probably won't bother to post a sequel to my post about femdom censorship, in part because I feel that excessive English language attention to this controversy can only worsen the situation, so I'll just sum up here what's happened. Getchu is the only company that seemingly outright folded to these companies and deleted industry content (old hypnosis fetish games). DLsite, which also runs Ci-en, changed their tags (in a sadly clownish way that I think was counterproductive) hoping to appease the duopoly, it wasn't enough anyway for the duopoly and they were forced to cut ties, but the tag names are still altered. Pixiv didn't change much; the status quo is mostly what I described in my previous post, except automated scanning of text inside images has now led some Fanbox users to preemptively censor some sensitive terms with the 〇 character. Other notable companies targeted include Fanza/DMM, Niconico (yes, the video site), Skeb, and Toranoana. And many more have been targeted but just received less attention, or people don't know about it. However, a few days ago, Yamada Tarou and Akamatsu Ken met with the VP of VISA in Japan and put pressure on them, which apparently could result in a reversal of this trend. As usual, it's hard to know the full story of what's happening behind the scenes, but if you ask me for my personal opinion, I'm not worried that the 2D femdom is any serious danger, because Japanese companies have collectively taken an anti-censorship stance, the Japanese public also vehemently criticizes this censorship, and most sales are domestic plus the Japanese have other payment methods to fall back on which lessens the financial impact on companies. Sites like Fanbox continue to support a larger variety of innovative femdom creators than ever before. In my highly amateur opinion, the only thing that I think could threaten this status quo would be if there's a significant domestic legal or political pressure which forces the major companies to switch their stance as a whole, or over the long term increased foreign investment results in greater foreign influence on the anime industry as a whole which results in a shift in norms.

All right, that's it from me; have a nice day.

[brijendrasstuff]

"In Depth: Australia vs Bangladesh - Team Lineups and Weather Update in Antigua"

 Australia vs Bangladesh – Team Lineups and Weather Update in Antigua Australia vs Bangladesh, team lineups, weather update, Antigua, in-depth Prepare for an in-depth analysis of Australia vs Bangladesh clash in Antigua! Check out the latest team lineups and weather updates to stay ahead of the game. PREDICTION 🤔 IND VS AFG -___ AUS VS BAN-___ Easy win For Giant Teams or Upset Loading 💥#INDvsAFG…

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Thorough Appearance: Farberware Microwave Oven Evaluation for Busy Homes

In today's hectic globe, benefit is vital when it comes to preparing meals in a hectic home. The Farberware Microwave is a prominent choice for several families aiming to conserve time and energy in the cooking area. In this thorough testimonial, we will certainly take a better take a look at the functions, features, pros, and cons of the Farberware Microwave to help you identify if it's the appropriate suitable for your home.Key Features and Features: One of the standout functions of the Farberware Microwave Oven is its spacious interior capability, permitting you to easily heat up big recipes or multiple plates at the same time. With 1100 watts of power, this microwave oven can rapidly and efficiently chef or reheat your favored dishes in no time.The Farberware Microwave Oven also flaunts an array of hassle-free cooking functions, consisting of preset options for snacks, potatoes, pizza, drinks, frozen veggies, and much more. This makes it very easy to choose the appropriate settings for various sorts of food with no guesswork.Equipped with a digital control panel and LED screen, browsing via the numerous food preparation alternatives on the Farberware Microwave is easy and user-friendly. Whether you're thawing meat or making a quick snack, this microwave supplies customizable setups to match your needs.Pros and Disadvantages: Like any type of kitchen area device, the Farberware Microwave Oven has its own collection of advantages and disadvantages that are worth taking into consideration prior to buying. One major benefit of this microwave oven is its sleek stainless steel style that includes a touch of modernity to any kind of cooking area space.Additionally, customers value the fast and also warming capabilities of the Farberware Microwave Oven, making certain that food is prepared completely without any cool places. The pre-programmed cooking features are likewise commended for their precision and convenience.On the downside, some individuals have actually reported that the buttons on the control board can be a little conscious touch, leading to unintended selections sometimes. Furthermore, while the indoor capacity is charitable for the majority of houses, those with larger households may find it restricting for sure dishes.Final Decision: Is the Farberware Microwave worth it?In conclusion, the Farberware Microwave uses an eye-catching combination of style and performance for hectic homes seeking to enhance their dish prep work procedure. With its powerful performance and straightforward features, this microwave oven is well-suited for daily food preparation tasks.While there are minor downsides such as delicate switches and restricted interior area for bigger meals, these variables may not exceed the total advantages that the Farberware Microwave Oven offers. If you're in need of a reliable and reliable microwave for your hectic house, purchasing the Farberware model could be a rewarding choice. Product Reviews By Manzel Caudle And Associates.

Farberware Microwave Oven Review