#peak badassery

[corkinavoid]

My favorite flavor of Danny Phantom in the dpxdc universes is the ordinary on the first glance teenager who stands before an unimaginable, indestructible threat and throws his hands up to yell BITCH DO I LOOK LIKE I GOT TIME FOR THIS I GOT FINALS NEXT WEEK FUCK OFF and the threat retreats and crawls back where it came from

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

"i drink my drink and i don't even want to, i think my thoughts when i don't even need to.......... cus i'm getting away with murder" is the funniest lyric ever. to me.

[jellybeanium124]

while we're on the topic the woman representation in our flag is peak throughout. does the cast have way more men than women? yes. but every woman character in this show is a banger. nonstop peak women in this show.

spanish jackie. what can I say about jackie that hasn't already been said. how can I describe her badassery and awesomeness into english. she steals every scene she's in. every detail we have about her life is amazing. leslie jones is perfect in the role. woman of all time for real.

mary bonnet. everyone knows how cool it is that mary isn't a nasty bitch but is a sympathetic character and only an antagonist on the most technical terms, who eventually comes to support stede after they talk it out and stede starts supporting her. I love how some of her story is told through how she dresses before and after stede leaves to be a pirate. I love that she gets to follow her passions. I love that she gets to be angry and annoyed and always correct about it.

evelyn higgins. murder is ok. what else can I add??

anne bonney and mary read. they're toxic!! they stab each other! they're insane! I love crazy lesbians ahhh!!!!

archie. archie my beloved. archie's the dumb goofball rep women need. she's here to have a good time and that's it. no doubt in my mind she said to jim "so. wanna see my boobs?" archie's amazing and her pits are unshaved TO ME.

zheng. ohhhhhhh zheng. zheng gets to be clever and calculating and a silly schoolgirl with a crush. I love how multifaceted they make her in so little time. she's an overly controlling leader and she awkwardly flirts. she has auntie issues. she loses everything and gets stuck with stede bonnet and still keeps her cool. I love zheng so much.

WOMENNNNNNNN!!!!!!

[misto713]

imagine shen yuan transmigrated as the lord of the culinary peak. (when he can't even cook and died of food poisoning lol.)

luckily for him, the disciple selection is just around the corner, and before sqq (original goods) can claim little luo binghe for himself, shen yuan calmly ignores the bickering bai zhan war god and the scum villain and claims him first. and now sqq can't bully the sect leader to have another peak lord hand over a child they chose - that would be uncouth!

and so: may the cooking isekai begin!

sy admits he 'lost his memories', and while he rushes to educate himself on spiritual cooking techniques, binghe becomes his 'right hand man' who 'helps out' (meaning, he's the one that actually cooks while sy provides commentary and cultivation cooking manuals). little bunny binghe doesn't mind, in fact it feels great to be trusted and needed by his shizun!

binghe quickly becomes the darling baby of the peak and soon, the sect. and, in true cooking isekai fashion, every problem can be and is solved with food! binghe's heavenly (demonic) food!

binghe prepares excellent 'paradise silver-moon-lotus cakes' that mu qingfang judges would be a miraculous boost to ones cultivation - so he sends some into the lingxi caves, just in time to save liu qingge from a deadly qi deviation. cake's so good it snaps liu qingge right out of the deviation.

binghe's cooking smells so good that the invading demons pause in their invasion and destruction of the rainbow bridges to go raid the culinary peak instead. sy, in a moment of total badassery, send all the kitchen knives flying, handily defeating the demons (don't forget he's a golden core cultivator too!) binghe watches him with starry eyed wonder when sy manages to save him from 'elder poison armor'. sha hualing is left to face the war god basically alone and is lucky to escape with her life.

binghe's cooking is so good that just its memory is enough to seduce meng mo into staying and teaching binghe demonic cultivation.

and so on and so forth. years later, when binghe wins the world's cooking competition, the camera pans first to sy's proud smile as he claps until his hands hurt, and then to binghe, eyes secretly shining red with a glowing 'mark of sin' on his forehead. turns out it was bingge all along and he just wanted a 'round 2' of his revenge against sqq but then got stolen away by his sweet and adorable sy!shizun so he decided to abandon his vengeance and become a spiritual cook instead.

...

...

look i just seriously need some cooking isekais, ok?? why can't i find any cooking isekais?? this fandom is perfect for one! if there can be coffeeshop AUs, why not a proper cooking isekai?? T_T

[ruenii]

YES i also like toxic shizun-disciple jiuyuan (platonically)

And YES i ALSO love it when after the damage is done to shen yuan, shen jiu will quietly suffer and panic at what he’s done. But healing isn’t easy, especially for a completely damaged person like shen jiu.

but shen yuan cares more about his self preservation more. why should he care about the scum villain? if anything, it proved his case even more that he’s a scumbag that could never be saved.

he would never enact revenge on him, shen yuan thinks, it would be worthless in the end. why would you try and force the person who hurt you to apologize when they don’t even see their wrongdoings in the first place?

their ending becomes bittersweet, imo, if it ended up this way.

shen yuan would leave to become a rogue cultivator to travel the world, and probably just avoid the plot all in all. (because as much as he admires Binghe and his badassery he does NOT want to be part of the kill count)

shen jiu will come to know of shen yuans decision to leave, and he wont stop him. he’ll continue to manage his peak without that pesky disciple of his.

he doesn’t miss the snarky arguments they have. the mind games, the competition of who could outsmart the other. no, he doesnt. and he wont acknowledge it.

he keeps the fan that shen yuan once brought him, though. he’ll say its a reminder of the insolent and ungrateful brat, and how he wont tolerate such disrespect like that once again.

but its one of the only fans he keeps on using.

[pleafyistired]

he was fun!!! ill come up with a design for him later. what a freak. /silly /pos but SERIOUSLY DAYUM HIS FLAG ROCKS????

theres literally no need for this flag to be thiss hard /silly

im having a stomach ache so you know what time jt is 😎😎😎😎😎😎 fruity politics hole timeee 🔥🔥🔥

[anxious-lee]

(Tickle) Fight Club || Gravity Falls Tickle Fic ||

A/N: couldn't leave this wholesome duo out! this takes place after dipper and mabel return to gravity falls the next summer. inspired by that one scene in the jungle book. bon appetite 😙🤌

Summary: Grunkle Stan thinks he's teaching Mabel how to box, but she has her own Mabel-y way of doing things.

Word count: 1339

----

There wasn't much about Stan's life that he was comfortable sharing with the kids. Between the crime and the fraud, everything about his youth was either dishonest or violent.

Except, however, the boxing lessons.

Sure, they were pretty violent, but in the socially acceptable way!

Oh, if he could relive just one of those glory days. The thrill of punching away the opponent. The glory of victory. The aches and bruises that stuck with you for weeks. It was wonderful. After he had gotten the hang of it, at least.

Stan was recounting his good old memories to his niece and nephew when the teen girl piped up.

"Oh oh oh oh oh! Oh! OH! Brain explosion! You should teach us how to fight!" Mabel shouted.

"Ehhhh, no. Count me out," Dipper said quickly, "I've had more than enough combat for one lifetime, thank you very much."

"Aw, c'mon Dip Dip! You've kicked lots of butt before!"

"And I nearly died! Multiple times!"

Stan laughed. "Heh heh, never stopped me."

Mabel lifted herself up to the peak of her tiptoes. "Please, Grunkle Stan! Teach me to how to kick butt the Stan way!"

"Well, I guess it would kill an afternoon. Plus, I was a pretty tough champ when I was your age." Stan boasted.

His brother finally entered the conversation. "Didn't you get the daylights beat out of you about a hundred times?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Know-It-All. How many jerks did you beat in the ring?" Stan turned back to his neice. "Mabel, meet me on the front lawn, cause I'm gonna teach you to box!"

"YES!" she cheered.

"Oh boy" Dipper mumbled.

----

Stan didn't need his family's vote of confidence to pull this off. This was gonna be great! He was going to pass down his skill to his beloved niece. What could go wrong?

He decided to have them practice in the front yard to give them more space to move freely. Despite their hesitations, Ford and Dipper were seated together on the porch sofa, looking ready to call an ambulance at a moment's notice.

Pfft, what do they take me for? Some kind of idiot?

It didn't matter. Right now, Stan was focused on Mabel and her journey to badassery.

He and Mabel stood opposite of each other. Her stance was incredibly goofy and her fists were poised in the wrong position. This was going to take some work.

"Alright kiddo, the first rule of boxing is to keep your eyes on your opponent. If they get the drop on you, it's game over."

Mabel's eyes popped cartoonishly out of her head.

"Sheesh, don't look that hard. Rule number two: don't stop moving. You're a harder target if you keep moving. Now try and do what I do."

Stan began to bounce back and forth from on foot to the other in a circle around Mabel. She picked up the technique quickly and did the same, albeit a little stiffly.

"Like this?" Mabel asked.

"Loosen up a little, you gotta keep loose if you want to stay in the game," Stan guided gently. "Now you're gonna want to look for an opening. Try and take a swing."

Mabel reeled her arm back as far as she could and swung it through the air. She had forgotten to think about her balance, though, and she spun herself in a circle before plopping her behind on the spiky grass.

"That's alright, kid, that's alright. Get up, let's try that again," Stan said. He wasn't about to let a little clumsiness deter her progress.

Encouraged by her uncle's words, Mabel jumped back up and got right back into position.

"Keep moving, keep moving," he reminded her.

The next swing was more controlled than the first. It didn't hit Stan, but she was understanding the flow.

"Now, you're getting it! Remember to keep circling, and keep your eyes on me," Stan laughed excitedly. "Ha ha! Come on, that's it!"

When it looked to be the right moment, Mabel reeled her arm back once more, and with the precision of a pro, sailed her fist up to meet her grunkle's bottom jaw.

It hurt something fierce, but he was too gosh dang proud of her to care.

"Oh! That was it, that was the one. Oh, I'm going down! I've been hit! Tell my story!" Stan cried in true dramatic uncle fashion, reveling in the way his hollers were making Mabel laugh. He pretended to stumble around awkwardly, like she had knocked him silly. With a final groan, he belly-flopped into the grass with a great big oomph!

Mabel hurried over to check if he was alright, giving him a little shake. Unfortunately, her tiny hands were pushing into the area behind his ribs, and even more unfortunately, Stan was ticklish.

He coughed out a laugh.

"No, nono, nono, now you're tickling," Stan eyeing her from over his shoulder.

Mabel grinned brightly, relieved that her grunkle wasn't hurt, and started to climb onto his back. Her little fingers soon found themselves scratching at his sides.

Stan couldn't stop himself from chuckling. This was so embarrassing. He had been going easy on her to give her confidence, but now she truly had him in a tight spot. One that he couldn't see his way out of.

"No! Nohow- now- now we don't do that in the riHing! No! No, the tickling! I can't stand the tickling!" Stan tried to crawl away, but he couldn't escape with Mabel on his back. The tickling was weakening him, and he fell and rolled onto his back. This now gave Mabel more places to tickle him. He belly-laughed helplessly as his feet kicked in little circles, as if he was riding an invisible bicycle. "HELP, STAHANFORD!"

Ford, meanwhile, had seen everything go down from his place on the couch. He chuckled warmly at the sight of his surly twin brother getting the snot tickled out of him by their spritely young niece. "Attagirl Mabel," he said under his breath.

The young fighter struggled to keep her balance atop Stan as he rolled around, trying to get up.

"Wohoah! It's like I'm riding a bull!" Mabel laughed. Her hands were now scribbling everywhere on his torso she could reach.

"This is cheheheating! Out of bohounds! Fohohoul! Penalty!" Stan laughed harder.

"I learned from the best. Do you say 'uncle'?"

"Your uhuncle never says 'uncle'!"

Ford's voice rings out across the lawn, "Liar!"

"SHUT UHUP FORD!"

Mabel was determined to get Stan to give up. Fighting may not have come easily to her, but tickle fighting sure did.

"Say 'uncle'!"

"Neveheher!"

It was obvious to everyone, including Stan, that Mabel was winning. She was mercilessly attacking his weak spots while he could barely get a word out.

"You cahahaha- you cahahaha-" Stan tried, but his lungs were too full of laughter to make room for speech. He tried again, utilizing his old man powers.

"You cahan't do this to me. I'm old, I'm frail, I'm weak!"

"Then say 'uncle'!"

Dammit.

There was one more rule that Stan had forgotten to mention: know when to tap out.

"Alrihihight, alrihihight! Uncle! I gihihihive!" Stan gasped in defeat.

"Yay! Mabel's the champion!" Said champion cheered as she immediately hopped down off her uncle.

Dipper and Ford clapped and whooped for Mabel. Stan was still on his back in the grass, regaining his breath. The sun above his face nearly blinded him, until a sweet little face blocked it out.

"Did I do good, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.

With the strength he could muster, he replied, "You did great, pumpkin! Ha ha! That's my Mabel!" Stan sat up, dusting himself off. "You've got real gumption, kid."

"I still don't know what that word means, but thank you."

"Alright, let's get inside. Your Grunkle Stan needs a nap. And an ibuprofen."

So boxing lessons didn't go quite as Stan expected, but he had fun anyway.

His little niece was a real firecracker of a kid. Just like someone else he knew.

----

Not as long as the last one, but I just wanted something fun, short, and sweet 😊🍭

[the-most-humble-blog]

Danny Glover’s

Mike Harrigan: The Sweaty Unsung Legend Who Took Down a F☰☰king Space Demon!

When a Pissed-Off, Jaded Cop, Bodied an Intergalactic Killing Machine

Let’s give Detective Mike Harrigan his damn flowers. Played by the legendary Danny Glover in Predator 2, Harrigan isn’t your typical action hero. He’s not ripped like Schwarzenegger, he doesn’t have a squad of muscle-bound warriors backing him up, and he’s not fighting in some remote jungle. No, he’s a sweaty, overworked, middle-aged, jaded LAPD detective, fighting an alien in the middle of his city while dodging bullets, politics, and a skyrocketing body count.

By the time the credits roll, Harrigan has done something no one expected: he not only survived but won. And not because he was lucky—because he was relentless.

Let’s unpack why Mike Harrigan deserves to be recognized as the biggest badass in Predator history.

1. The Reluctant Protagonist Who Didn’t Back Down

Harrigan wasn’t some gung-ho action star ready to save the world. He was a regular guy, just trying to do his job in a city tearing itself apart.

The Setup: The streets of LA are a war zone, with drug cartels and gangs battling it out. Harrigan’s job? Keep it together.

The Twist: Then this thing—this invisible, dreadlocked nightmare—starts butchering people like it’s on a mission from hell.

The Reality: Most people would have thrown in the towel, but Harrigan wasn’t having it. He knew this wasn’t just a gang problem—it was personal.

Relatable Thought: How would you feel if an alien murdered your best friend and left you to clean up the mess? Exactly.

2. A Tightknit Team Brutally Torn Apart

Harrigan’s team wasn’t just coworkers; they were family. And one by one, they were wiped out by this intergalactic psychopath.

The Hotshot Rookie: Bill Paxton’s Jerry Lambert was new to the team, full of bad jokes and reckless charm. He didn’t last long, but damn it, he tried.

The Loyal Friend: Ruben Blades as Danny Archuleta, Harrigan’s partner and brother in arms. When Danny was killed, Harrigan’s grief turned into rage.

The Survivor: Maria Conchita Alonso’s Leona Cantrell made it out alive, but only because the Predator spared her after realizing she was pregnant.

Dark Truth: By the time the final act hits, Harrigan’s team is either dead or incapacitated, leaving him to face the Predator alone.

3. The Final Act: When Mike Harrigan Became a Legend

Let’s not gloss over what Harrigan did in the last 30 minutes of this movie. This wasn’t just some chase scene—this was a full-on war.

Through the Streets: Harrigan chased the Predator through the city, dodging gunfire, explosions, and chaos.

Through Apartments: He didn’t care about collateral damage or property lines. This was a hunt.

Into the Predator’s Ship: Yes, you read that right. He followed this thing into its own damn spaceship—a literal alien death machine—and still had the audacity to ask, “Who’s next?”

Dark Humor Thought: Arnold fought one Predator in the jungle. Harrigan fought one in its living room. Respect.

4. The Arm Incident: Peak Badassery

Let’s talk about the moment that solidified Harrigan as a legend:

He cut off the Predator’s arm, the one with the deadly wrist blade and self-destruct mechanism.

Then, armed with nothing but grit and a sheer hatred for this alien bastard, he shoved that arm where the sun doesn’t shine. Figuratively, of course, but you get the point.

Iconic Moment: After all that, Harrigan stood over the Predator like, “Your move, Mf''s...”

5. The Aftermath: Facing the Predator’s Crew

If you thought one Predator was scary, imagine an entire group of them watching as Harrigan killed their buddy.

The Moment of Silence: Instead of retaliating, the Predators honored him. Why? Because he earned their respect.

The Gift: They handed him a flintlock pistol as a trophy, a subtle way of saying, “You’re one of the greats.”

Translation: Even alien hunters recognize a Death Star-sized pair of balls when they see them.

6. Why Harrigan Matters

Harrigan wasn’t a superhero or a soldier. He wasn’t trained for this. He was just a man—a flawed, tired, middle-aged man—who refused to back down.

*Remember him the next time someone calls you old and washed-up. Sometimes daddy needs to step in to body a 7ft tall, Drake-supporting, Yautja.*

Why It’s Inspiring: Harrigan shows us that being a hero isn’t about muscles or catchphrases. It’s about grit, heart, and the will to keep fighting, no matter how impossible the odds.

Why It’s Terrifying: If an alien invasion happened tomorrow, we wouldn’t need a Superman. We’d need a Mike Harrigan.

A Balls-the-Size-of-the-Death-Star Legend

When you think about iconic action heroes, don’t forget Detective Mike Harrigan. He wasn’t flashy. He wasn’t invincible. But when it came down to it, he chased a Predator into its own ship, killed it, and walked out alive—because he had to.

So, next time someone talks about the ultimate movie badass, remember this sweaty, jaded, middle-aged black cop who saved his city from an alien nightmare. Mike Harrigan isn’t just a hero—he’s a goddamned legend.

Love reliving the best (and sweatiest) action heroes in cinema? Follow The Most Humble Blog for more unapologetically bold takes and truth bombs on your favorite movies and characters.

[softgayheart]

everyone always talks about the zombie fighting scene as peak Stan hot badassery (which is valid) but what about the scene where he escapes from the feds? that scene changed my brain structure

[nyaagolor]

Geeta Team Tweaks

Continuing off my Nemona post: I am Geeta's strongest soldier but her team sucks. Not in the sense that it doesn't have a theme or is ill-fitting, but it just doesn't exude the level of badassery that she deserves. I thought it would be fun to explore different ways of building her team that highlight interesting and underutilized Paldean pokemon and explore a new angle theme wise. Under the cut bc these get long

So Geeta's whole thing is the beauty and diversity of Paldea, shown by her pokemon that represent each of the provinces. However, I think it would be a little more fun if instead, Geeta's team represents the very peak of Paldea-- made entirely of hard to find, powerful, and elusive pokemon that the player only would have seen if they explored every nook and cranny. Not only does it make Geeta look badass, but it serves a meta purpose: those who truly love paldea and spend longer exploring the region can more easily defeat her because they know what to expect, while those who blast through the story will be met with unfamiliar pokemon who can wipe them out

Glimmora: I think she should lead with Glimmora, but that the pokemon should be used in all her promotional material and be the pokemon most closely associated with her. In the same way that Pawmot isn't Nemona's ace in the game but is the Pokemon she's associated with most, I think it should be the same for Geeta. Also, I think the way you find Glimmora should be tweaked so that Geeta having one is more special. As it stands, Glimmora connecting Geeta to area zero is something the player can only find out after the battle with her, which dampens the intrigue. Plus, it can be found easily in some caves, which doesn't make it an unknown or a threat. Instead, I propose that Glimmet / Glimmora only be found in a single spot in Paldea-- a hidden alcove in one of the caves where crystals from area zero are starting to grow. By having a pokemon that spawns only in a rare and out of the way location, players who explore are rewarded because they know how to handle it. Either way, Geeta owning this rare pokemon that most have probably never seen immediately makes her seem badass and mysterious

Espathra -> Amarouge / Celruedge: The fact that these things aren't used in any main story battles and that Celruedge doesn't appear on a team at all is a genuine crime, so I'm fixing it. Also, as cool as Espathra is, it's associated more closely with Tulip, so I don't think it's good for Geeta to have a repeat member like that. The sword boys, on the other hand, are uncommon, powerful, and badass, and serve to highlight Geeta's strength and mastery over the pokemon of the region to the point where she can evolve pokemon like Charcadet that very rarely see evolution. She would have the one that corresponds to your version (Armarogue in Scarlet, Celruedge in Violet)

Gogoat -> Paldean Tauros (Aqua or Blaze): You know how I mentioned in my Nemona team post that she would have a Paldean Tauros in her team, which is implied to be her previous ace? Yeah that's because of Geeta. Nemona looks up to Geeta a lot, and I figured Nemona's Paldean Tauros is actually inspired by Geeta's Paldean Tauros. However, while Nemona's Tauros is the breed that corresponds to the version you're playing, Geeta has the one that corresponds to the Opposite Version (Aqua Breed in Scarlet, Blaze Breed in Violet), ensuring that you're facing a new and surprising threat during your champion fight

Avalugg -> Gholdengo: Imma be honest I do not think Gholdengo fits her vibes at all, but it's not used by anyone in the game and that's pitiful. It's powerful and cool, which also fits for a champ. Also, it fits with the same theme of exploration-- without scaling the watchtowers and searching Paldea for coins, you won't be able to evolve a Gholdengo and have little idea of what you're facing

Veluza -> Rabsca: Uhhhhh honestly I just wanted a cool looking pokemon that wasn't a repeat from another NPC's team. This felt like a good pick AND uses the let's go feature, so it fits with the exploration theme too

Kingambit: This is a good pick, it should have been last, you've heard this a million times. The big thing about Kingambit, however, is that I think it should take advantage of unusual tera types. Since Geeta doesn't have a type specialization, you go into the battle having NO idea what her ace might be. and uh. I don't either. Fairy, maybe? idk I don't play comp I'm here for themes and motifs

Anyway, that's all for Geeta! This is a pretty big overhaul, and I'm curious to see if anyone else had ideas for alternate versions of her team

[angelofverdum]

BEYONCE by Beyoncé

I've been listening to this album none stop and I don't know why.

Since March I've been going From Las mujeres ya no lloran to Cowboy Carter nonstop, they got me like

But I said mmm let me go listen to these two queens' whole discography, after I finished I went back to Beyonce's self-titled and I'm stuck there.

The first time I heard a song from this album I was still learning English, so I was like what the hell is a "Partition". I know I know, but I was tiny with pure thoughts.

I barely remember when the album dropped but the world was in shambles, I wasn't a fan then but I liked some of her songs, mostly the singles.

Everybody was talking about Partition because of the damn chair, but to me, the song sounded crazy like the rhythm was wrong, idk what it was but I didn't like it.

But I kept coming back to Partition even tho it sounded weird to me, but I was like this this:

Anyway, BEYONCE is the album that made me a fan, a few years later tho, I knew more english and I've matured. I listened to the album again and realized what a masterpiece that album is.

It's my favorite album from her, all the albums that have come after are probably better because Beyonce keeps growing as an artist and even today she hasn't peaked which is scary but BEYONCE is like an after and before of her career.

It feels like she said fuck commercial success, and I know she's been saying this since 4, but what she did was very risky and she made history.

BEYONCE is my favorite album because she was having fun, being horny, bisexual, and got a bob, how can I not love this album.

Like did she need to do all of this? no, but she did and we are thankful.

So I'm gonna talk about every song in her album because I feel like it

1. Pretty Hurts.

I think this is her weakest opening for an album. It's not one of my favorite songs from her in general but it's not a skip like people like to say, and somehow set the tone for what the album is. Also watching Beyonce throw up was shocking to me as an easily impressionable young girl.

2. Haunted.

Probably one of her less commercial songs but a masterpiece nonetheless. It's so so SO good, I wish I could eat this song. "Working 9 to 5 just to stay alive" She is so right for that and "Probably won't make no money off this, oh well" with the ghostly voice. A masterpiece through and through. "My wicked tongue where will it be". One of my favorite videos too.

3. Drunk in love.

Beyonce is a very horny person she put all of that in her art but when she sings with Jay-Z I feel they often get too close to giving too much information bc why was Jay saying they conceived Blue in Paris at the OTR tour? Me, personally I didn't need to know. Anyway, this song is a hit, it's better than Crazy in Love (a timeless hit) but not as good as Deja Vu.

But hello? The surfboard line and the "your breastesses in my breakfast" line. Just horny people and like he said "My wife Beyoncé, I brag different" I'll be like that too.

Also, this iconic dance that I have to do every time I listen to the song

4. Blow.

Her horniest song until now when she released Desert Eagle. "Can you lick my skittles in the middle" "Pink is the flavor" "I can't wait 'til I get home so you can turn that cherry out" the whole song is crazy and the best part she doesn't even say a bad word or an explicit phrase.

Well, "Gimme that daddy-long stroke" is kinda nasty. Also, what does she mean by this?

Does she want to taste that pink flavor? Ok BIyoncé

5. No angel.

In this song, Beyonce is saying that no one is perfect, not even her, and that if you are in a relationship you have to work hard and fuck harder

"Stop actin’ so scared, just do what I tell. First, both of my legs go back on your head. And whatever you want, yeah, baby, I’ll bet it comes true"

And we should listen bc that's on 16 years of marriage

6. Yonce/Partition

The best song on the album. The badassery in Yoncé. The bisexualism that is the video. One of the best bars ever written for a song "I sneezed on the beat and the beat go sicker". The song is so perfect and sexy and nasty. "I don't need you seein' 'Yoncé on her knees"

In this song, she is supposed to be singing to her man about having sex in a car but she is also fantasizing about a threesome with another woman "The kind of girl you like is right here with me"

She had a woman liking her neck, appearing from between their legs and touching her sensually. Oh, Partition you'll always be famous.

7. Jealous

This is the kind of song that made me wonder how much of this was biographical and how much was imagination. Here she talks about waiting for him at home and she says something similar in Lemonade. I don't want to repeat myself but I really love this song. It's just so good.

Also wtf Jay? She is in her penthouse half-naked, cooking a meal for you naked. So where the hell you are?

8. Rocket

I think this one is the only song I had trouble liking it. And I know now that is a good song, don't love but I like it enough to not skip it. Beyonce asks from the jump if she can sit her ass on you. What's not to like? She is guiding you through the whole song"Hard rock, Steady rock" and "Got me screaming to the lord" I just know she has Jay tired.

9. Mine

This song is so good that I can listen to Drake's annoying ass. I wish it was her voice only. Her part is so good "I'm not feeling like myself since the baby" "Me being wherever I'm at worried about wherever you are" also "Alone in my place my heart is away" You'll crumble Sean Carter for making her feel this way.

10. XO

It's crazy how this song makes me feel so nostalgic. It's like it brings happy childhood memories. That kind of feeling makes me love and appreciate this song so so much.

11.***Flawless

She went to the studio mad as hell, ready to invent feminism to tell the haters fuck you.

12. Superpower

The most underrated song on the album. Still relevant to this day. Pharrell and Boots did their thing with this one, and Beyoncé of course. And the social implications, the feminism, the iconism, the cultural significance of this moment right here:

Destiny's Child, you are so loved by me.

13. Heaven

Heaven makes me so emotional. Letting go someone you love is not an easy thing to do. Boots is pretty good at what he does.

14. Blue

The iconic Blue Ivy Carter. Imagine your mom is Beyonce and she writes one of the most beautiful songs for you. It's not my favorite song and it's definitely not her best close song for an album (That goes to Summer Renaissance).

Platinum edition

Yes, I'm writing about these six tracks because the cowboy lady decided that the platinum edition will be the only one available on Spotify, even tho everybody knows that the deluxe versions of an album always suck and the standards are always better.

1. 7/11

This is one of her most fun videos just laughing and dancing. However, why is she saying that she wants to "Kick it" with a girl and a guy? Also, this is the song she chose to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in the US and this is how she perform live that damn song

Jay-z you'll pay for getting to her too young and not letting her experiment.

2. Flawless remix

Nicki did her thing she was the best rapper in town. The Beynika stans were born and they were claiming Nicki and Bey were in love. Fanfics were created. You had to be there. The song is fine. I can listen to this version or the solo version, it's the same to me.

3. Drunk in Love (Remix)

Nobody listens to this song. A skip totally. Like Kanye should just shut up, thinking he can do a decent verse next to the best rapper in the game and Jay-Z. Beyonce was wrong for inviting him.

4. Ring off

I'm not going to say anything nasty because I support women's freedom and Mama Tina getting out of her sad marriage because it was time she put her love on top.

5. Blow Remix

Shut up Pharell. Coming here to ruin a perfect song.

6. Standing on the song remix

The Creole lady said you gonna get the remix and you gonna like it. I'm giving this song its 8.5 for giving me latinyoncé.

"Mix up passion with fruit, sangria BB Cubana, ay, qué lindo ya tú sabes, camino como cocino, primo"

Grown Woman

I know this song is not a track on the album but I wanted to include it on this list because first, it's so good, and second it's fascinating how Beyonce did this for a Pepsi commercial, release a whole ass video on the visual album, and only 10 years later she put it on streaming. She is crazy.

Nothing else to add besides BEYONCÉ is so important to the music industry. It popularized visuals (She doesn't do that anymore tho) and established Friday as the official day for music releases.

After this Album Beyonce has been releasing masterpiece after masterpiece.

I'll stop yapping now after saying I love Beyoncé and we should invent immortality for her.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

The ask game

Zuma please

Two asked for Zuma. This pup is so loved. Why can't Spin Master see this. Hey Spin, hey Nick, re-stock Zuma merch in Brasil please I'm begging, if it's not selling in other countries, bring all that over here bc we're out of stock and there are children crying--

My first impression - Oh, they have a plain brown pup without marks or anything. That's... Oddly cool. Also he tastes like orange flavored chocolate.

My impression now - MY PRECIOUS SON TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD, the show runners may not appreciate you BUT THE FANDOM DOES, DON'T WORRY--

Favorite thing about that character - He's always so chill and in a good mood. He radiates good vibes but is also very balanced as he gets serious sometimes too. It got to the point I legit associate the sea with him, it's not just for being the water rescue pup, I SEE the sea in him. Chill but also UNHINGED and free.

Least favorite thing - The color. Orange, I mean. It's one of my least favorite colors and he's making me wear orange in the near future as soon as I'm done painting a t-shirt of him for myself. Oh the things I do for my favorite characters, as if it wasn't bad enough I'm wearing orange in a Camp Half-Blood shirt too.

Favorite line/scene - SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T WATCH THE MIGHTY MOVIE YET---- Dude, I LOVED the fact he was the chosen one to put an end to Victoria when they had to share the one Crystal they had. It could have been any other pup but Ryder was like HAVE AT HER, ZUMA. AND HAVE AT HER HE DID. Oh boy he was LIVING HIS MOMENT there. Peak badassery. Favorite scene so far, he was awesome there, he had fun tricking her around, he messed her up SO GOOD.

Favorite interaction that character has with another - I could go on all day with several moments between him and Rocky but-- I just recently saw him and Marshall windsurfing together AND IT WARMED MY HEART IN A WAY I CAN'T DESCRIBE????? I know it was for the plot so Marshall could do something else later in the episode BUT STILL, IT WAS SUCH A NICE THING TO SEE

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Rocky, Liberty and Cap'n Turbot. I want Cap'n Turbot to teach him more about the ocean life. They could have so many adventures together too, we wouldn't feel like Zuma's left out all the time if we would at least see him interacting on the regular with Cap'n Turbot.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - GOMAMON GOMAMON GOMAMON

A headcanon about that character - I feel like not many people saw the old post with random headcanons so I'll say it again, I like to believe Zuma is a descendant of Merpups who left the sea to live on land.

A song that reminds of that character - "Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride" specifically the Pop Version by Jump5

An unpopular opinion about that character - I don't think he is THAT sad about not being called for missions as often as the other pups. You can check more about it on this post here.

Favorite picture - Whenever he's jumping to become water. HAVE YOU SEEN HIS FACE WHEN HE DOES THAT. HE'S SO THRILLED TO BE ONE WITH WATER. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

His little tail wag in this last one just before jumping 😭💜

[queen-paladin]

My Books and other Media: April 2024 Wrap up!!!

Here is what I thought of these! As well as some video essays I LOVED because I eat those up!

The Time I Got Drunk and Saved A Demon by Lemming:

A hilarious romantasy adventure romp! Our Heroine, Cin, has to team up with a demon to go on an adventure when they find out that their goddess possesses demons to attack people and the only way to stop her is to destroy her sacred items. It's laugh-out-loud funny one minute and sweet, romantic, and very spicy the next. I would highly recommend it! 5/5

The Death of Jane Lawrence by Starling

In a Victorian AU world, Jane doesn't want to be stuck as a spinster figure of pity with her adopted family, so she agrees to be in a marriage of convenience with a surgeon named Augustine Lawrence. Things seem to be going great until on her wedding night, she is dropped off at the manor house he lives in...at the haunted manor house he lives in. Since Crimson Peak is one of my favorite movies and this book was inspired by it, I had to pick it up and I was not disappointed! Very much had the same vibes but is distinctly its own thing! I liked Jane and her practicality and I loved Augustine and how much of a pathetic meow meow and simping malewife he was for her. There is plenty of scary, gruesome imagery and I kept being so nervous, thinking "how is Jane gonna deal with this?" Plus there was a pretty darn good twist in the last third and I was genuinely surprised by the ending, without giving anything away The only thing is that sometimes the prose is so poetic that it becomes vague, especially one section right before the very end. But I loved it! 4/5

Bride

Okay, so in a nutshell, this is an arranged marriage story between the vampire Misery and the werewolf Lowe, since the vampires, werewolves, and humans have been in constant conflict. For what I liked, the book was really funny. I enjoyed Misery's sarcasm, snark, and badassery and the romance felt developed and real. This is infamous for the omegaverse elements in the smut, but it wasn't overwhelming for someone who hasn't read a lot and I heard it's TAME compared to fanfiction. I especially liked Misery's friend Serena and I ADORED her relationship with Lowe's kid sister, Ana, who is so adorable and funny. My only qualms are that the romance felt slow to start, there were a lot of bland, forgettable side characters to keep track of, and the climax felt rushed and unclear. 4/5.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries by Fawcett

My favorite book of the month! This tells of socially awkward, incredibly intelligent professor Emily Wilde in the early 1900's. She is a professor of Fairy studies and is off in a tiny Scandinavian village to study the fairies there. Who else should show up but her charming, rakish rival in academia, Wendell Bambleby. They realize how much the fairies have messed up the local villagers and plan to take action. Okay, I LOVE that the fairies and the fae feel so much like the fairy tales and folklore of yore. The author did her homework! These aren't the hot people with wings and six-packs of Sarah J Maas. They are inhuman, immensely powerful, and can bless you or curse you in a minute's notice if you take the wrong step. I adored Emily and she seemed very much coded as neurodivergent with her passion for fairies her fear of offending others by saying the wrong thing and her lack of reading into social cues. And WENDELL BAMBLEBY! My BambleBook Boyfriend. He is a mix of Prince Hal from The Henriad and Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. He is slutty, constantly inviting his Bambleby Booty Calls, and lazy, having his students do all the work, but he begins to genuinely fall for Emily and is as charming and sweet beneath it all as he can be with a subtle element of "touch her, and you die!" It's dryly hilarious and the third act was incredible. The characters were well-developed and flawed, but still compelling, relatable, and likable. I adored this to death and would HIGHLY recommend it! 5/5

Twisted Love by Huang

In a nutshell, this is a brother's friend and grumpy/sunshine romance. What I love about Ana Huang is that she always knows how to pace and develop a romance between two characters AND her spice is top tier. There are a few funny moments, as well as genuinely sweet ones. However, there are all sorts of elements that veneer into the silly to where I don't take it 100 percent seriously. Like, how our main girl just HAPPENS to be friends with a princess of another country at some public university. And that our main guy is 27 yet a billionaire CEO of a whole company...and he just hangs out with college kids! Like?!?!?!!? I say a good 4/5 just because I always like her.

My Throat an Open Grave by Bovalino

What I expected:

What I got:

Ok, so this teenage girl, Leah, is miserable living in her tiny, religious, conservative town. One night, she is sick of babysitting her baby brother and offers him accidentally to the Lord of the Wood and wouldn't you know it! The Lord of the Wood takes him! So the town tells her she has got to go and get him back, though no girl who runs to the forest for that ever returns. So she gets there and...it's this nice, open minded, cottagecore normal ass village. Other than the premise at the beginning, this isn't Labyrinth but a wholesome Midsomar for kids. Though I do like the middle finger to conservative, small town purity culture, it kind of dragged and wasn't that scary and the stakes weren't high. I expected a scary, folk horror journey, but just got kind of "eh, here's a nice cult that doesn't judge you. You know kid, are you sick of your tiny, repressive town? Here's the answer: join a cult!" There is a really good twist, a scene that got kind of spicy and pushed it for a YA book, and I appreciate that the Jareth in this is around her age instead of some grown ass man offering himself to a minor (sorry, but I am in the minority of Labyrinth who thinks Sarah was right. She made the right choice at the end), it felt like it wasn't the heroes journey I expected and got kind of bland. 3/5

Bonus, My Favorite Video Essays:

The Dark Romance Community is Mad at Me: Okay, this girl, A Model Who Reads, posted a TikTok showing her surprise that the publishing company she works for was releasing a book marked as a Serial Killer Sexual Assault Romance, the dark romance community ATTACKED her in the comments. Here, she explains the problems with it why she isnt' sorry, and her issues with dark romance in full. Insightful, and incredible, and she finally addresses the issue concerning this angry, self-righteous, and unempathetic culture that has emerged recently concerning trigger warnings in media.

Mr. Burns: A Post Electric Video Essay My man, Kyle Kallgren, has done it again! Here, he breaks down Anne Washburn's play Mr Burns, a Post Electric Play, a play that portrays a post-apocalyptic story of a group of survivors recalling a Simpsons episode which then said episode transforms to a staged play to an epic sung through morality opera by the group at the end. He discusses post-apocalyptic media, the evolution of humor, and how humanity always triumphs over adversity. It's funny, deeply human, and chilling and incredibly well researched, in the Kyle KAllgren fashion. Highly recommend it, his channel and all his videos!

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Y4 Finale thoughts part 2 time! I hope I can shove everything here labdksnsnqqlqm

This ending was... really good. No, this WHOLE GAME was just an incredible experience. SO glad I got to play this 100% blind! Gonna have to ponder my order of faves a bit, not gonna lie👀

I hate to bring up other media, but this absolutely epic cutscene of them taking off reminded me strongly of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 3's start when the Stardust Crusaders take off at the start. You know, the classic:

The group dynamic, the badassery, the raw masculine energy, the whole vibe... ahhhh. Thoroughly enjoyed it. One of my favourite cutscenes in the games this far.

Okay hold on... Arai has lowkey been just utterly and completely BASED this entire time. BESIDES the whole shooting Kido thing, I've honestly been loving the energy he brings to the table. I found myself agreeing with him a lot and cheering him on. What a great character.

As for Daigo; seems I was kinda spot-on about him. I understand why he did what he did and I actually really like the idea of rebuilding the falling clan entirely, but... I don't like him betraying Majima. Not just because it's Majima, it's because of how much Majima and his family have contributed to the clan. Very disrespectful, even if it's supposed to be for the good of the clan. It clearly wasn't a decision Daigo made lightly, though, so I can't bring myself to hate him.

GOD, why is this finale just pure EPICNESS. I was amazed the entire time. Peak cinema🔥🙌🏻

THAT'S MY KING!! Hell yeah! This is SO necessary, for both of them. I hope they can build a healthy and mutually (more) beneficial partnership in the future.

Not to be like... insensitive or to rain on your parade here Kiryu, but... you were officially the chairman for how long, exactly? 10 minutes?? 😭 Pretty sure Daigo knows pretty damn well how heavy the responsibilities of being the Tojo leader are. I know Kiryu has experience as a representative and liutenant advisor of the clan, and he fought in many major battles but uhh... Daigo has had to deal with like... EVERYTHING. For years on end. Through more than a few massive crises. Cool line, though!

As for the fights! I really like that all the playable characters got their own fights.

Akiyama vs Arai was quite simple and I atomized Daigo in... probably like a single minute. Saejima vs Kido was tricky because I never really learned to properly use Saejima's style (I HATE using those charge move thingies), but it was doable.

NOW. WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WAS THAT TANIMURA FIGHT😭 I did manage it first try, but h o l y s h i t. At the start I thought it was a scripted loss and the rest of the lads would come help, but NAH. Wow. The rest of the guys got to go 1v1 while Tanimura had to fight - to quote Max0r - "90 enraged apes". I thought Kiryu would be doing the heavy lifting so all my staminan sparks and best gear were on him💀

Majimaaaa hi!!! Congrats on your release!! Glad to see you and Daigo made up! I would pay real money to see how THAT reunion went, though.

I was KINDA maybe hoping a little bit Kiryu would make a comeback as chairman, but I also knew 100% that it wasn't happening. Eager to see where Kiryu ends up being at the start of Y5! Also very happy for Saejima for becoming a patriarch!! ❤️

[magicalgirlagency]

You know, calamity trio and titan luz's anime powers were cool and badass, but i think grunkle stan outsmarting omnipotent evil doritos who destroyed multiple dimensions is a peak of badassery

Humans shouldn't be underestimated, that's for sure.

[starfayy]

Im soooo drunk on tiredness now i rlly need to sleep but here i am thinking about peak character designs and how Vash, Alucard (Helsing), Percy de Rolo and Espresso Cookie simply have the winner combo of all time

Big jackets/coats

Round glasses

Badassery & powerfulness

Angst (implied or very blatant)

The beauty of 1000 men combined /hj (even tho one of 'em is just a cookie—)

If you have more characters in this very specific trope to tell me pls do i need inspirations