#in ways you cannot comprehend
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frosting-surfeit · 9 months ago
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javierduffy · 4 months ago
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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persimnon · 7 months ago
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shirt that says "don't talk to me about the httyd live action remake because unless the franchise has also been one of your longest-lived and most precious interests otherwise we cannot even begin to have a productive conversation about it"
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lucabyte · 1 year ago
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sorry loop if this looks gay to the viewers
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son-of-avraham · 1 month ago
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One thing I appreciate about judaism is how it forced me to being more sociable. I am making plans to celebrate my birthday with total strangers because judaism has led me to believe that this world is filled with love and I should share kindness and goodwill with Every Single Person 😭😭🙏
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mocc-tok-flip-flop · 18 days ago
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Ok, so my animatic is definitely going to take the whole weekend, lol. So here's the first 30 seconds to give you guys a preview! I really wanted to play around with colors on this one~ Also please listen to Crime and Punishment and cry with me
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cybertron-after-dark · 8 months ago
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Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
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novella-november · 29 days ago
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I saw a random post linking to this now-unrebloggable but very good post about the current state of reading comprehension in the USA amongst learned english majors due to the quite literal scam sold to the US government decades ago that has impacted generations, as many people have no doubt noticed but not been able to give a name to:
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and out of sheer curiosity I am, I guess, now going to read "Bleak House" by Charles Dickens once I get through my current To Be Read list?
Anyways, for those unaware, it is Public Domain in the USA, which means you can 100% legally read it online or download to your favorite reading app from Project Gutenberg!
"Bleak House" by Charles Dickens is a novel written in the mid-19th century that explores the themes of social justice, the inefficiencies of the legal system, and the personal struggles of its characters.
The narrative primarily revolves around several characters involved in the interminable court case of Jarndyce and Jarndyce, delving into their lives, relationships, and the pervasive influence of the legal system on their choices and fates.
The story is introduced through the eyes of Esther Summerson, a young woman of uncertain parentage, who finds herself at the center of the unfolding drama.
It actually sounds super interesting from the blurb, too ...
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bogdreamz · 2 years ago
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whatever it was. you hate how you came to love it. admirable lunatic
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clockworkvampyre · 10 months ago
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i noticed that mr enoch drebber has never officially had a completed fullbody reference, so i took matters into my own hands and completed him myself just for fun. it felt like dusting off and repairing an old rusty pocketwatch lmao
i added his original reference for both comparison and convenience. (he is rather tall) (and there is a bonus under the cut)
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disjournaled-scrolls · 14 days ago
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accidentally wandered into an r/FTM complaint thread when looking for phallo results and was violently reminded that some trans people are assholes about anyone who isn't exactly like them. i'm sorry but what do you mean you don't "associate the community" with enbies or trans femboys. they're already here, in the community. what the fuck are you gonna do
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justa-moth · 2 years ago
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fish n chips to me is like,,,,, an enigma. not purely romantic, not purely platonic, not purely queer platonic, just,,,, ✨
literally no other way i can describe it jsgdjsgdjsvs
they have a relationship thats on such an ethereal level that it cannot be comprehended by the human mind. they simply exist together to spite everyone around them.
they change what they refer to each other as constantly. people become excessively more and more confused the more this goes on. one day its boyfriends, next its husbands, next its friends, next its co-captains, next its co-bastards. their relationship is a question to everyone including themselves.
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saturdaynightghostclub · 3 months ago
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This is so half-baked and I’m sorry to be mean but I fear we’re becoming a very literal-minded people and that worries me. It’s like there can be no subtlety or ambiguity whatsoever in a piece of media or people start to get scared, what’s up with that
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bisexualseraphim · 3 months ago
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Also, I refuse to entertain the discourse as to whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not, but I will say it’s really fucking lonely — especially if you fall somewhere on the spectrum that’s a little more unconventional.
I’ve discussed many times before how I feel absolutely no attraction whatsoever except towards my lovely partner. I went through the phases queer men tend to: exploring many types of pornography and cruising on Grindr. I really tried, and none of it has ever done anything for me. It wasn’t until I started having sex with my partner that I realised, ohhh, so that’s how most people feel. And even then, enjoying sex with him is far more of an intimacy thing than the actual physical sensations. I do not fantasise about other people or consume porn. There is only him.
And yet when I’ve spoken about this in acespec spaces, I’m still treated as some sort of weirdo who doesn’t belong. I’ve literally been told many times that I can’t be demisexual because demis will still fantasise and consume porn (although that doesn’t line up with my understanding that demis require a close bond to feel sexual attraction, but never mind), and I’ve even been accused of having some weird internalised Christian puritan shit going on because I genuinely cannot comprehend ever looking at or thinking about someone in that way who isn’t my man. As if anything about this is a choice for me and it is offensive to them somehow. As if only feeling attraction to one person is like… “worse” than never feeling any attraction at all. I’ve never once shamed others for how they experience sex and sexual attraction and never would, yet people act like that’s what I’m inherently doing just by speaking about my own experiences.
So no, I won’t say whether acespec people are “oppressed” or not because honestly, when is this shit ever going to come up in conversation and ever be that relevant? But the fact I don’t feel I can talk about it even amongst other queer people, even amongst others in the acespec community, kind of speaks for itself.
Being a queer man who can’t relate to all the stereotypes and anecdotes about enjoying casual sex is one type of loneliness. Being a queer acespec man who can’t even relate to most others in the acespec community is another. I can never win, and either way I do not fit in.
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arcade-confetti · 8 months ago
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I imagine Jason didn't fully really see Dick as his brother, that was more like a distant figure. Nightwing who's a hero and very cool and sometimes tells him he's doing a good job. Like? Augh. Putting this into words
He never truly yearned or hoped for Dick to hang out more, to be his brother, to take him on trips in and out of uniform. Like he thought about it, but it just. Didn't seem the realm of possibility. Dick was cool, he liked him, he would've loved to hang out with him more. But the idea having an actual proper relationship never really fully crossed him. He didn't agonise over Dick not being a brother because it just. Didn't come to mind, it didn't seem a possibility, it just wasn't a thing. Why would he expect Dick to be a brother to him, why would he ever expect Dick to hang out with him more
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quarantined-fics · 4 months ago
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moodboard for my fic, The Princess and the Pirate *
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* part 3: the greens ♡
(all photos sourced from pinterest)
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