Tumgik
#in the past i know but i cant let it go
skitskatdacat63 · 3 months
Text
"What do I do, scale the wall and enter her window?" rhaenicent Romeo and Juliet AU when??????
142 notes · View notes
xxplastic-cubexx · 25 days
Text
logan on that plane when the divorcees started arguing had to have been AT LEAST one of his top 20 worst moments in life if not at least one of the most awkward like imagine not liking flying in the first place and then the plane starts being crumpled like tin foil once the metallokinetic gets frustrated and now we're all nosediving towards the middle of the ocean
132 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 9 months
Text
i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
104 notes · View notes
skunkes · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc
#oc text#obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous#even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim#not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like#even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly#and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath#AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly#bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3#and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time#severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it#as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this#form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim#though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything#he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors#ok goodnite
140 notes · View notes
Text
honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind
#like babies dont Think while they learn how to exist#imagine straight up spawning fully aware and then everyone else is up to speed but youre standing there like#🧍‍♂️uh. hello. what is everything. what is this. huh????#LIKE???? i feel so bad for him. dude got dropped right into the middle of the ocean and was told 'learn to swim'#and hes trying. but he doesnt know what drowning is so he cant sink either#i mean i get it at least a little bit! its the Autism Experience but w/ him the dial is cranked up to a thousand#you dont know what you dont know but life goes on like you should. fuck#wally i am mentally beaming you a thousand apples grown in the shape of hearts#i believe in you dude you'll figure it out#well. im probably beaming apples into the past if the time discrepancy is real but yk yk#cause if it is then Current Wally probably has a solid handle on things. from a basic standpoint#in a wider lens i am led to believe that he is Scrabbling#is this speculation???#i think it counts.#wh speculation#homebogging#whenever i think about the tidbits we know - ex: wally learning about differences in size#internally i start howling. wally is just constantly dealing with things that would drive a person insane if they had to live it#how is he not Exhausted... it's all so much for someone who knows whats going on let alone someone scrambling to catch up#at least the other neighbors dont have to deal with memorizing physics and skills and behavior#and just Literally Everything That Comes With Being Alive#wally is a blank slate left to write itself.#ough. damn. fuck. i think i need to go stare into the woods for a bit...
58 notes · View notes
ambagel · 5 months
Text
Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?
Tumblr media
But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer
Tumblr media
Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared
29 notes · View notes
ganondoodle · 1 year
Text
why does it seem so impossible for theory people .. or any people really to even consider that rauru isnt the firstest of the first kings of hyrule, its been remade so many times already and the 'forgotten era of myth' might as well have included hyrule being forgotten; instead its always messing with the old titles and timeline and im so TIRED
is it rly some sort of complex to HAVE to connect the new stuff to the old titles somehow?? again i get that theorizing and all that can mean anythign but i havent seen anyone even bring up the fact that maybe, this is just a new hyrule and rauru was just the first guy on this one to call himself king, maybe the name hyrule survived but it didnt connect back to a kingdom so hey jsut thought thats a neat old name lets call it that, hell, maybe it was a surname of sonia even so he literally just called the kingdom after her not knowing its been called that since the beginning of time, wouldnt that be a cool coinsidence!! and also rly sweet of him!! like him being called rauru!! like a guy loooong long before him that no one knows of bc its been so long its long been forgotten he ever existed! isnt that cool and somber connection!
id also love if someone could just kinda ... consider botw/totk(uhg) as their own thing, like, i love the old titles, but i also love them as being done, their era has ended, this is a new era, what if we could just ... view this new era as their own thing without having to chain every little bit of dialog to the old titles
i really wish rauru/sonia never said they just founded hyrule, and zelda(i think) never called him the 'first' king bc apparently some people are unable to think oh this is a new hyrule and he was the first king of this one like i did but instead go into a rampage trying to make everyone believe totks past is somehow canonically right after fucking SKYWARD SWORD; like ... some people take every line of dialog like wayyy to literally, rauru probably THOUGHT he was the one who founded this kingdom bc he literally couldnt know any better with everything of the old stuff being so loong forgotten already, hes just some dude and not literal god who knows it all, characters can be wrong even when they believe they are right!!
(yes i am annoying about this bc i hate this on a personal level)
like .. i cant be the only one who thinks botw to be of a new era so long after all the old titles its basically a new world entirely, with no direct links to anything in the past, with references and callbacks from all old legends, but still a new world, without chains to the old, reoccuring names and happenings haunting it just the same as it did all the ones before them yet not being aware this has been happening over and over .... .. and, after it was said that oh rauru was the name of the 'first' king of hyrule, immediately thought oh shit he founded this new hyrule coolio (lets ignore how much i grew to dislike totk in general, i was hopeful still at that point) (lets also ignore how many problems totk alone has with its own damn lore for this ok, its its own mess that dragged botw into its mess but that doesnt mean it ALSO has to drag literally every single other game into its mess too)
141 notes · View notes
moeblob · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
25 notes · View notes
chilpilled · 6 months
Text
ok sorry for being a hater but i will say that im kinda disappointed marcille wasnt bloodier and grimier in the new ep. like i need my girl disheveled and dirty and looking like a used tampon. and i know that a lot of it is animation constraints but i dont think it would have been that much of a problem to just add a little more blood? idk. i really liked the ep overall and im happy with it i just wish marcille was more disheveled because it literally represents how far shes willing to go to save falin. its the shocking contrast to before. marcille being grimy and covered in dragon guts is essential to the yuri!!!
23 notes · View notes
ywpd-translations · 1 year
Text
Ride 738: Towards to scorching hot stage!!
Tumblr media
Pag 1
The climax of the training camp arc!!
Tumblr media
Pag 2
The incandescent battle is starting!!
Sohoku, towards the Inter High!!
Tumblr media
Pag 3
4: It's so hot
It's so hot suddenly!!
I can't do this anymore, I'll take a two hours break
I'm your buddy, so I'l also take a two hours break!!
5: The weather on the third day of training camp....
Tumblr media
Pag 4
1: is scorching hot
Tumblr media
Pag 5
3: Kakaka it's pouring out!!
Pouring out!!
5: Sweat!!
Tumblr media
Pag 6
1: Finding shade and running like this seriously exhausts our stamina!!
2: Yeah!!
5: Murakamii!!
Tumblr media
Pag 7
1: Yessir!
3: Thanks!!
Thank you!!
Tumblr media
Pag 8
1: Kaa....!! Cold water feels so good...!!
Hyaaa.... it works..!!
2: The standard spots to pour water on yourself are face, head, and back, Onoda-kun
Putting it in yous stomach also feels so good, but
3: In one shot you'll upset your stomach and then a toilet hell will await you
O-okay!! Scary...
4: Alright, we're refreshed!! Let's raise the pace again, Onoda-kun!!
Okay!!
Tumblr media
Pag 9
1: Naruko-san....
3: Incredible... the senpais aren't taking a break and keep running
Despite how hot it is...
4: By the way, have you noticed?
Huh?
Their jerseys
5: Since this training camp started, the senpais
6: have been wearing long-sleeved jerseys
Tumblr media
Pag 10
1: Why!? Ah! It's true, Imaizumi-san... and Kaburagi-san too
They should just take it off, since it's so hot
2: Is it a way of training?
Like carrying a burden to power up?
A heavy burden
3: I'm sorry... my left knee hurts
Is that so?
4: I was overly optimistic... I thought that if I did a good job.... and succeed in this training camp, then I'd be one of the six members
But....
5: To overcome everything and keep fighting, you need physical preparation
6: Just being cunning won't open the way
7: I understand, I accept your retiring
But
Tumblr media
Pag 11
1: You'll work behind the scenes for the last two days
There's a lot of work to do behind the scenes, and this time you'll do it with all your strength!!
3: If you want to become stronger, you have to study and watch other run, too
Observe, discover. There are things you can only discover when you're not pedaling
4: Not a single second is a moment you can't learn!!
5: It might be the first time I meet such an intense senpai...
“Learn”.... Naruko-san....
6: I want to become stronger, I'll do my best
Let's add ice
7: The jerseys have a meaning too, I'm sure
It's not just a careless burden
Tumblr media
Pag 12
1: There's something!!
Human bodis have the ability to adapt
2: From spring to summer
3: From autumn to winter, we meet seasonal changes and adapt
We do it two times a year
4: The body naturally creates its own system to face the hot and cold according to the climate
5: Just like during summer the leaves grow green and thickly
6: While during winter the leaves fall
7: You can't see it with your eyes, bt our skin, bones, sweat glands, and muscles, go through dramatic changes
Tumblr media
Pag 13
1: The proof is that, during summer, 10° are so cold you feel like freezing, but during winter it feels warm
2: To force that adaptation faster, that's the meaning of these long-sleeved jerseys!!
3: Adapting takes time. So we're adapting to heat earlier to prepare for the summer Inter High!! Our bodies too!!
4: Yeah!!
5: After all, this year's summer is gonna be our third Inter High!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pag 16
3: Kyushu, Kumamoto Prefecture, Mount Aso
Tumblr media
Pag 17
1: Do you know? A long time ago.... they say that here, as far as your eyes could see, there was a hugh volcano surrounding this scenery
2: Huh, really?
When humans still hunted with stone tools
3: There were four big explosions and the mountain collapsed in the magma pit
4: With a diameter of 25km, it's the largest caldera in the world.... and it made this outer rim of the crater
So, the cities, roads, and fields we can see from here, inside the muntain?
Yeah
Tumblr media
Pag 18
1: I can feel it, somehow....
The breath of the earth
2: With my whole body... yon!!
3: Fou!! Really!? I can only see this huge scenery....
!! No, I can feel it...!! Fou
Tumblr media
Pag 19
1: This splendid scenery and steep slopes
2: This magnificent nature
3: An unpaved side road that appears from time to time
4: We came to.... inspect the race's course
5: and chose a “road bike”, but
6: Ah!! I get it!! I was thinking about it now!!
7: I wish we had bought our “mountain bikes”, yon!!
Fou!!
There's so many roads that make me want to run!!
I totally get that!!
Tumblr media
Pag 20
1: Our third and last Inter High will be in the scorching hot Kyushu!! In the “land of fire”, Kumamoto
2: Mount Aso
Tumblr media
Pag 21
1: will be our stage!!
Tumblr media
Pag 22
1: It's gonna be a hot one, this Inter High!!
2: It's burning up
3: Our final last stage
Tumblr media
Pag 23
1: Red like magma!!
2: Challenge!! The last Inter High!!
Yes!!
Yeah!!
Tumblr media
Pag 24
2: At CSP, Sohoku High School racing team's training camp is 3 / 4 done
Everyone is riding at their buddy's pace
3: Many of the first and second years retired, but even so, the third day ended without any incident
4: Currently, there are 8 people in the top ranking who could be chosen as Inter High members
There's only the last day
5: The fourth day
87 notes · View notes
theladyfae · 5 days
Text
i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
10 notes · View notes
sieglinde-freud · 9 months
Text
feel like morgan/lucina is kinda underrated like i get why. but also like… duuude… take it from lucinas perspective: the kid of the fell god that betrayed your father turns against you despite years and years of friendship and most definitely knowing eachother since birth (do you honestly think chrom and robin wouldnt set their kids up on play dates immediately? really??) and despite how much you love them you know they’re beyond saving and you have to leave them behind to succumb to grima when you go back in time to save the world, accepting that youll never see them again! oh shit buts whats this… they show up in the past anyways? having forgotten all the time you spent together, the trouble they caused, everything you meant to them? but its them, its morgan and for the first time in years youre able to see them again happy, carefree, and in complete control! should you feel sad? scared? overjoyed? i dont know! but slap some yuri on that and you got a crazy ass little sideplot all im saying!!!
25 notes · View notes
calamitys-child · 11 months
Text
Train services are so fucked from the storm that they've had to pull in every decent sized vehicle to act as rail replacement and most of those can't take payment but the guy was like well I'm going to the city anyway and they're paying me overtime so like. Get on the bus it's cold out I'll give you a ride. Saves you waiting half an hour to get on your other bus. Class solidarity in action thank you bus man
32 notes · View notes
skunkes · 8 months
Note
How do you feel about Dungeon Meshi (i think i spelt that right) getting more popular? I feel like i’ve only seen u post about it but now its popping up a lot more on my twt / tiktok
Mixed feelings! Glad it has an anime now and that ppl are enjoying it, because its really good!
I myself think its annoying when ppl are like "im gatekeeping x media bc its important to me 😡" so thats not how I feel on the other end. It has impacted lots of ppl so if it can get a bigger reach and impact more, thats good. ^_^
if i did not have the time or energy or resources to read it, I would've hated feeling alienated just bc it became a favorite media of mine after the anime came out
Its more like. Idk.
I know ppl who hope it gets Bigger for more official merch but I just don't want it to get Embarrassing ykwim.
I need it to not get so popular that in a few years I'm hiding the volumes from my shelf because its an embarrassing, beat to death thing thats present in every store, backpack, socks, sweater that looks like characters clothing, funko pops, etc. something i cant even enjoy anymore bc its been wrung dry and overexposed and misinterpreted, "of course u like it EVERYONE likes it!" and now I'm tired of it, and wouldn't want ppl to associate me with it LOL 🧿🧿🧿
#anonymous#skunk mail#its like how i do enjoy jjba but id never wear merch out bc what if some fandom poisoned man makes a kakyoin doughnut#joke to me. which happened in college when any mention of it came up#or like how. (insane evil hater mode) when i see people really into BNHA or SNK still im like 😬#can u imagine if those were somehow your favorite series' in the past and now someone who doesnt even go there feels weird about it For You#when you mention it being your fave. LMFAO. i recognize that'll happen regardless due to ppls tastes but ykwim!!! fandom poison!!#the subreddit has already started with unfunny memes 😭#AND already started with ''um but my shipping??? my Het shipping why no het people shipping?? why no het Canon ship??''#ok this is the other hater part that sounds like the ''im gatekeeping this thing thats already popular 😡'' crowd#and im already sorry for the wording im gonna use but you KNOWWWWW the type.#i need it to not ever be on the list of anime that harry potter GOT loving normies my age list as their fave 😭😭😭#SORRY. this is why i cant interact with jjba bc i know my harry potter loving old friend's husband loves it#or like how my friends boyfriend balks at any mention of ''gay shit'' in it. YKWIMMMM. DONT LET IT GET THIS COMMON#we cant let it get to ''i love marvel movies disney harry potter GOT and [ANIME]!'' status 😭 SORRY.#I need it to get so popular they release a thistle figure im already saving for just in case. But not marvel funko pop lover popular. 😭
28 notes · View notes
penisbilt · 5 months
Text
the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
11 notes · View notes
jessiesjaded · 5 months
Text
is it really better to have good time friends who are only there when you're fun but when everything in your life is going to pieces they suddenly dont even have it in them to send a message or be Actually sympathetic beyond a surface level Omg oh no when you let them know........ bc i dont think it is. i think its less lonely to just be by myself completely at that point.
7 notes · View notes