#in summary i loved it BUT I WOULD HAVE LOVED IT MORE AS A SEASON 😭 they deserved better fr 😞

[burrowdarling]

My MVP (18+)

Summary: You and Joe take on the NFL Honors, leading to a whole lot more.

Pairings: boyfriend!Joe Burrow x girlfriend!reader

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: descriptions of sex, masturbation, praise, definitely missing stuff MDNI

Note: I'm so proud of Joe and everything he accomplished this season. On another note, he looked so gorgeous I just had to write something.

Edit: minor changes to the end so that location makes sense

Word Count: 2.8k

Check out my Masterlist here!

Taglist: @burrowbarbie @definitelynotdomanique @one-sweet-gubler @plushkhiii @enchantedinfinity @iosivb9 @hellsingalucard18 @hotburreaux Feel free to comment or message me if you'd like to be added to the list!

You were sitting on your bed in yours and Joe's hotel room, about to put on your heels when Joe walked out from the bathroom in his suit. You stopped your actions, letting your eyes scan over him without shame. It was unique, the tie on the side different from any old traditional suit, but you firmly believed Joe could look great in anything. You moved from the exposed skin of his chest, down his legs before moving back up to his face. Your eyes caught his, offering you a smile with a wink. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Joe said with a hint of lust to his tone. 

You shook your head at him with a smile of your own, though your eyes never left his. The suit was everything, the lack of shirt underneath was a choice and a good one at that. His hair cut was a nice touch, the loosely tousled curls with the tight sides made him look handsome, you were convinced there wasn’t a hairstyle he couldn’t pull off. You were pulled out of your less than appropriate thoughts by Joe's voice. 

“Let me,” Joe said as he dropped to his knees before you. 

Your air hitched in your throat as you felt Joe's strong hands grip your calf as he slipped your heel on your right foot. So much for taming your thoughts, your feelings heightening all over again twice as hard. He strapped the heel, giving your leg a squeeze before placing a kiss to your knee and moving to the next. Joe repeated his actions on your left side, feeling yourself getting hotter by the second. 

“If you don’t stand up, I’m gonna find a way to keep you on your knees,” you said breathlessly. 

Joe chuckled, standing and helping you to your feet. He towered over you, even with your heels. Your height difference was something that you loved about your dynamic.

“You know I would never say no to that, but we’re in a bit of a time crunch here. Can you help me put my necklace on?” Joe asked.

“You? Willing putting on jewelry? I’m really doing a number on you huh?”

“Oh hush, you know you love it. I would sometimes wear jewelry before you, ya know,” Joe joked as he placed his chain in your hand, turning his back to you. 

“I prefer this jewelry right here,” you spoke as you took his hand and brought it up to your mouth. 

You swear you watched his eyes darken as you placed his hand at the front of your neck, taunting him even more than before. You knew you were being a brat, but you couldn’t help it when he looked like this. He lightly gripped your neck and pulled your face to his, resting his forehead on yours. 

“Sweetheart if you don’t cool it, we won’t even make it to the event,” Joe growled slowly, his threat sounding more like a temptation than as a punishment. 

“Oh no, having to keep you here to myself when you look like walking sex, boohoo to me.”

“If you don’t stop being fresh, you’ll have to worry about your actual punishment for later. Now please just help me out so we’re not late,” Joe said with a hint of annoyance in his tone, more from the growing erection he was getting that he couldn’t take care of. You were stood toe to toe with him, your eyes practically calling out for him to fuck you right then and there.

He had a great view of your chest from this angle, having no shame in looking at you the same way you were looking at him. You could feel the tension in the room, begging the man in front of you to undress you with more than just his eyes. 

“I can take a picture for you if you’d like, add it to your spank bank,” you replied back to his earlier comment to you.

He rolled his eyes playfully at your terminology as he turned around. He leaned down just a tad, helping you to reach his neck. The position felt odd, the roles usually being reversed. You were happy with him stepping out of his comfort zone. The pops of color of the stones against his skin looked incredible. You noticed the matching chain that went across the top of his thigh, the small detail making him even harder to resist.

Joe turned back to face you, taking a step back and gesturing in a way to ask ‘how do I look?’ You nodded your head in approval, taking a step towards him to hold him in a tight embrace. 

“I want you to know that however tonight goes, I’m still proud of everything you accomplished this season,” you spoke into his chest meaning every word despite your playful attitude moments before. 

You felt him squeeze you tighter, your words taking a few moments to sink in and register. He swayed you gently back and forth, feeling his chest rise and fall. Joe placed a kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo that grounded you.

“Thank you sweetheart, I'm ready to go wherever you are,” Joe said as he held back tears of his own. You nodded softly as you  grabbed your purse and headed out the door.

You both walked the red carpet, watching Joe command the cameras he had such a hatred for. He kept you as close as he could as you both made your way through the packed crowd of people. You did your best to keep him grounded and sane, knowing the worst of it would be over soon and you;d be in your seats with Ja’Marr. He did interviews, met with some fans, and took loads of pictures. You were so impressed with knowing that this kind of thing was his least favorite. He kept a smile on his face and a positive attitude. You finally made it through, watching him fully exhale one you were inside and in your seats. It wasn’t too long after the show had begun with Snoop Dogg taking the stage. He made his comments to the NFL stars, making a comment to Joe about the Bengals defense and his batmobile, causing you to hold in your laughter.

The night moved fast, award after award being announced when it finally got to the comeback player of the year. This was the second award Joe was up for tonight, the first going to Sawuon who you felt also was very deserving of it. You held your breath as the highlight video showed all of the nominees. It wasn’t until Randy Moss had announced Joe’s name that your nerves had dissipated. You turned to face Joe, feeling overwhelmed with joy as he brought you in for a hug and placed a kiss on your temple. He took the stage, your heart feeling full at him finally getting some type of recognition for all of his hard work. Joe and Justin did their handshake, making your heart swell even more at their connection.

“Hello, I wouldn't say this is necessarily an award you want to be nominated for two times, but I'm proud of the work I've put in to come back from the injuries I seem to face each year. Fortunately  I’m healthy this year and I have my team of people to thank for that,” Joe said, finishing his speech with everyone he recognized as important to his success before thanking everyone.

Joe walked off the stage, giving you a look before turning to head off with Justin and the others. You felt the familiar pit form in your stomach. You sat back in your seat with your mind reeling from his win, though it wasn’t the award you were hoping it was. Your thoughts were confirmed of Joe’s whereabouts when you felt your phone buzz in your purse. 

Come meet me

Simple and to the point, holding so much tension behind the screen. You could feel the heat rise on your cheeks, walking to find your way behind the stage while everyone was occupied during the commercial break. You were able to get backstage, finding Joe posing with his award looking like he owned the world. It wasn’t doing anything to tell the growing wetness between your legs and the ache in your core.

When his eyes found yours, his face lit up as he strode towards you. You took a few steps to meet him, taking you into his arms in a tight hug. 

“I’m so proud of you babe, you’re so fucking amazing,” you choked out as you felt tears well up in your eyes. 

Joe took your face in his hands, swiping the forming drops before they could run down your cheeks. 

“Hey, no tears okay? Don’t wanna ruin that pretty makeup yet. That’s gonna be my job when we get home,” Joe said, saying the last part quieter than the rest. 

His words earned a small laugh from you helping to stave off any more tears. You were so overwhelmed with emotions that the only way your body knew how to cope was through tears. 

“What do you say we get out of here hmm? I wanna get you out of this dress.”

“What about the rest of the show?”

“I already know I didn’t win MVP baby, I’d much rather spend the rest of my night with you. I’ve been exhausted from all of this press shit. You know I don’t do this often, I’m absolutely beat.”

“How beat?”you asked, hopeful.

“Not too tired for you, don’t you worry,” Joe assured you, noting the relief in your shoulders from your pent up desire.

You felt a shiver creep up your spine as you made your way out of the venue, Joe's hand in yours.

“You cold? I’d give you my jacket but I don’t exactly have a shirt underneath and I don’t think I wanna deal with the media field day of me walking around shirtless.”

“But you’d look so chivalrous, but we can't have me looking better in it than you. I also know it’ll look great on the hotel floor,” you spoke as you looked up at him with a mischievous smile. 

You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning into Joe in an attempt to get whatever warmth you could. He slipped his hand out of yours and slung his arm across your shoulders, pulling you into his side. 

“You know you can still be my MVP tonight, except mine would stand for most valuable pe-” Joe cut you off with a hand over your mouth, sending you into a fit of laughter.

“I’m cutting you off, you better keep it down until we're not in public anymore,” Joe said, trying to hold in laughter of his own.

“Whatever you say, da-” you mumbled out, Joe pressing his hand tighter against your mouth.

Getting under Joe’s skin was your favorite when it was all in good fun. You secretly loved watching the strong vein in his neck as he tried his hardest to hold himself back. His face was bright red, that same vein bulging out from the tenson you were causing.

“It really is never dull with you is it? I guess I'll just have to make you cum until the only thing out of your mouth is my name." Joe whispered in your ear as it was your turn to go bright red.

Joe’s hand fell from your mouth with a small nod in obedience. You were aware of the thin line you shouldn’t cross, wanting to be able to function tomorrow. Instead you let your mind wander to what the rest of the night would have in store for you. You couldn't wait to get home and celebrate your MVP.

You were grateful Joe decided to drive you both to the awards, with him looking absolutely delectable behind the wheel of his porsche. His knuckles were a hint of white from his grip on the wheel, one hand reaching out your thigh without taking his eyes off of the road. You felt Joe's hand inch slowly up your leg, hiking you dress up in the process. Anytime you tried to question his movements you were met with silence. You swore you stopped breathing when his fingers brushed your inner thigh to skim your already wet panties.

“Fuck baby, you’re already soaking wet for me. I bet you’ve been thinking about this all day hm?” Joe chided, damn well knowing the answer to his own question.

All you were able to muster was a nod, unsure of your voice just from his barely there touch. Joe wasn’t having it though, wanting to hear you say it. He pulled his hand away and settled it in his lap to adjust himself.

“As punishment for your smart mouth, you’re gonna cum right here all by yourself before we get back to the hotel,” Joe said with the most even tone he’s had all night.

You were baffled, dumbstruck by his request with the fear that someone driving by would see you exposed. The other part of you was exhilarated by him, being on display for his eyes only in the damn passenger seat brought a whole new meaning to being a passenger princess.

“C’mon you don't have all night, I’ll make it longer until you cum if you don’t get to work. Either slide them over or slip them off, the heels stay on though,” Joe commanded, knowing what your heels did to him.

You didn’t hesitate, sliding your wet panties down your legs and bending your right knee to prop it against the door. The cool air against your hot center sent a wave of chills down your spine, your stomach in knots at what you were about to do and where.

You brought your right hand down to your pussy, dipping your index finger to your entrance before bringing the wet digit to your clit. You sighed out in relief at some type of friction happening, laying your head back against the seat with your eyes fluttering closed at the contact. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking sexy. Can I have a taste,” Joe groaned, trying his best to keep his eyes forward though it was hard with the sight of your bare pussy beside him.

You nodded with a hum, taking your index and middle fingers of your left hand down to your center before plunging them inside. The sensation felt lovely, but nothing compared to how full Joe’s fingers made you feel. You pulled them out, bringing them to Joe’s mouth. He pulled them in, swirling his tongue to get every last drop he could. You moaned deeply, fingers moving rapidly over your clit at the feeling of Joe’s mouth around your digits. He licked them clean, releasing your fingers with a pop. You immediately brought your spit covered fingers dwon to your pussy and began to work them in out of you, the thought that they came from Joe making things even hotter in your mind.

“You getting close, baby? I can give you a little help,” Joe spoke tenderly, sliding the strap of your dress off your shoulder to expose your chest a little more. 

Joe reached over, palming your breast the best he could. The feeling of his touch on you was enough to send you to the edge of release, seeking that one last push. As if Joe could tell, he reached over top of the fabric, tweaking your bare nipple between his thumb and forefinger. That was your undoing combined with your own movements. The string in your stomach snapped from his touch, releasing all over your fingers with a loud moan and Joe’s name falling in succession from your lips. 

You took a moment to catch your breath, looking over at Joe with a feeling of relief though you still wanted more. Joe nodded towards your fingers, knowing he wanted another taste. You brought them back to his lips, repeating his actions from before as he reveled in the taste of you. Once he deemed them clean, you took your hand back and slipped your wet panties back up your legs. You managed to finish before you pulled up to the hotel, getting there a few minutes later. You did your best to appear presentable, knowing you'd see a few people before making it to the privacy of your hotel room. Joe pulled the car up to the valet out front, walking around to your side of the car to help you out. He extended his hand out to you which you kindly took, not trusting your legs fully on your own.

“I hope you still have some energy after that, you’re gonna need it,” Joe said before his lips were on yours. You knew you’d need to brace yourself for the long night ahead of you.

[wosoloml]

through the lens of love II katie mccabe x interview! reader

summary: Coming out of a heartbreak, Katie never expected to catch feelings for the new girl on Arsenal's media team.

warnings: none just fluff, mentioning of ruesha, maybe she (katie) falls first but reader falls harder, different POV's, kinda slow burn idk

a/n: please leave feedback about the different pov's if you like it or not. ive thought i could do something new maybe

wc: 1,6k

8:00 AM. It’s not my first day at Arsenal’s media team, but I’m still feeling nervous. Moving from Germany to England for a new job two weeks ago was the best decision I’ve ever made.

At first, I worked on a few interviews with Lotte, especially after her goal against City. She’s been a Gunner since day one and is such a ray of sunshine—I love working with her.

“Hey, Y/N! You look amazing today. How are you?”

My smile widens as I recognize her voice from afar.

“Hello, Lotte, my girl! I’m good, what about you?”

She gives the best hugs, no doubt about it

After shooting a few short clips for Arenals Social Media Team Im done with Lotte.

"Do you know whos coming next?" She asked me quiet suspecious

"Lemme Check" i grab my phone "I think its Katie. Ive never worked with her before"

Lottes eyes widened. "Good Luck with her. Since she broke up with her girfriend her moodswings are horrible" Wow she always knows how to make me feel good

-----

I’ve done countless interviews throughout my career—always answering the same questions about leading Ireland, my physical style of play, my streak of yellow cards, and being a fan favorite at Arsenal.

But nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

"Come in," I hear a soft voice from inside the room as I gently push the door open.

I hesitate for a moment, a bit confused. "Oh, I was expecting Tamara to be here. Am I wrong?"

The girl chuckles at my words. "No, it's fine. She's working with the men's team today. I've been here for two weeks now—I'm new."

"Yeah, of course," I reply with a casual shrug. But the moment I look up, a strange feeling stirs in my stomach.

I've never felt anything like this before.

There was something about her—the way her lips curved into a subtle smile, the focused look in her eyes as she watched me. Maybe I held eye contact a little longer than necessary.

"I'm Y/N. Thank you for taking the time today," she said, extending her hand.

"Katie," I managed to reply, the only word I could get out. Her skin was impossibly soft, and her voice carried a professionalism laced with a warmth that caught me off guard.

--

The moment Katie took my hand, I could feel it—she was nervous, holding something back. It surprised me; I never would have pegged Katie McCabe as the shy type, especially around new people. But I had to admit, I liked it.

The slight press of her fingers against mine sent an unexpected wave of comfort through me, a feeling I had never quite experienced before.

As Katie sat down, I grabbed my papers, preparing to start the interview like any other. But from the moment she walked into the room, something about her unsettled me in the best way possible. Maybe it was the effortless confidence in her stride or the way her sharp eyes locked onto mine, holding the gaze just a second longer than necessary.

I asked Katie about Arsenal’s season, her role as a leader, and what playing for Ireland meant to her. She answered effortlessly, naturally slipping in a few jokes along the way.

She made me laugh so easily, and I had to admit that liked it. Before long, we had fallen into an easy rhythm, the conversation flowing as if we had known each other for much longer.

But as the interview went on, something between us shifted. The air felt different, charged with an unspoken tension. And I could only hope I wasn’t the only one noticing it.

--

The more she spoke, the harder it became to ignore the way my pulse quickened whenever she laughed—I loved making her laugh. It was the prettiest sound I had ever heard. And then there was the way her eyes flickered to my lips when I spoke, as if she was just as caught up in whatever was happening between us as I was.

"I'm pretty much done with the basic questions, but I have one more," she said, tilting her head slightly. "What is Katie McCabe like when she’s not on the pitch, being physical with defenders?"

God. The way my name fell from her lips—it needed to be studied. It was so damn sexy.

I smirked, leaning back in my chair, playing it cool.

--

I asked her what Katie McCabe was like when she wasn’t being physical on the pitch. Maybe I asked out of pure curiosity, or maybe it was something more—I just knew I wanted to learn about her beyond the game.

She smirked, her eyes flickering with something unreadable. "Actually, I’m pretty boring. I love going for walks or exploring new coffee shops."

The thought of her strolling through London, coffee in hand, completely at ease—it filled me with a warmth I wasn’t expecting.

"That sounds nice," I replied, smiling softly.

Katie tilted her head, smirking. "Depends on who I’m with, actually."

There it was again—that subtle shift in the air between us. The unspoken tension lingering just beneath the surface. She had to know she was flirting. She had to know what she was doing to me.

For a brief moment, I forgot about the cameras, the blinking recording light, the fact that this was supposed to be just another interview.

It was just the two of us.

And I could only hope I wasn’t the only one feeling it.

---

It was just the two of us. I realized I was flirting with her—something I hadn’t planned, yet it felt entirely natural and effortless.

As she continued with the interview, an undeniable energy, a tension, hung in the air. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it.

Y/N offered me a polite smile as the interview wrapped up. “Thank you for your time, Katie. This was great,” she said. My heart skipped a beat at her words, hopefully, she hadn’t noticed. I smirked and stretched, replying, “Wasn’t too bad.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she grinned.

I wanted to say more, but I was lost for words. Instead, I asked if she was coming to this week’s match. “Yeah, I’ll be covering it,” she replied, and a smile spread across my face at her answer.

I knew I had to seize the moment before it slipped away. “Maybe... maybe we can grab a coffee afterwards?” I ventured. There was a pause, and Y/N blinked in surprise.

--

Her words were casual, but the way she said them - like she was teasing me made my heart go crazy. I just smiled at her, playing it cool "Maybe we can"

As she walked away, i released a breath i hadnt realized i was holding.

What the hell just happened here?

I spent the last few weeks telling myself that whatever i felt in that interview was just a moment of weakness - nothing serious. It was just some Starstrucked feeling that would fade once i got to know Katie properly.

I was so wrong.

We had fallen into a rhythm. Coffee Dates after matches, late night phone calls that stretched longer than they should, lingering glances secretly at each other.

Of course this has to happen the second i let myself into Katie Mccabe.

--

At first, I thought it was just friendly—just the two of us getting along, enjoying each other’s company. But deep down, I knew the truth. The way my heart stopped every time I made her laugh, the way I caught myself looking forward to seeing Y/N, the way my eyes instinctively searched for her in every room. none of it was casual.

Even my teammates had started to notice. After our last game, Lotte came up to me with a smirk. “Have you spotted Y/N in the crowd yet? Pretty sure she’s wearing your name on the back of her Arsenal shirt.”

The way my eyes lit up at her words completely betrayed me.

--

One evening, after an Arsenal win, we found ourselves in a quiet café, like we always did.

"You were amazing today," I said, smiling as I absentmindedly stirred my coffee, lost in thought.

Katie smirked, taking a sip from her cup. "Not bad, huh?" There was a slight teasing tone in her voice, and I couldn’t help but grin.

"Are you kidding? You were on fire. It feels like you love football more than anything else in the world."

She studied me for a moment, leaning forward slightly. "You think so?"

I nodded. "The way you light up when you talk about it... It’s really inspiring."

She hesitated for a second before smiling. "There’s a lot to love about it."

My gaze didn’t waver. "Is there anything—or anyone—you love more?"

I felt bold asking the question, teasing her just a little. But as soon as the words left my lips, my pulse spiked. I wasn’t sure I was ready for her answer.

Katie’s expression shifted, her voice quieter than before. "Maybe. Depends on who's asking."

Something in me softened at her words. In that moment, I knew I could be vulnerable with her. I had never trusted anyone the way I trusted Katie.

Slowly, carefully, she reached across the table, her fingers brushing against my hand. The warmth of her touch sent a spark through me, like fire beneath my skin.

I didn’t pull away.

She was the first to break the silence, a small, nervous smile playing on her lips. "Well," she murmured, "guess I’m not just in love with football after all."

For a moment, the world outside blurred, and the space between us disappeared.

“

[maretinelli]

MARANELLO

Dad!Lewis Hamilton X Mom!fem!reader

Summary: When Lewis needs to go to Italy for pre-season testing and on this trip decides to take Pietra, Marie and his wife to visit Maranello.

Words: 3.6K+

Warnings: Mentions of Italy, cute kids, Pietra jokes, mention of trivia, mention of Mercedes, and mention of a third child. (Who knows, right? Haha)

Author: English is not my first language, so apologies for any spelling, grammar and slang mistakes that may be in the story. This story is part of the universe A NON-SEPARATION because I loved this family and will be writing more. However, it can also be read separately.

Marie: 6 years — Pietra: 4 years

MASTERLIST

Things were better now. Lewis and Y/n had found a balance, they had reduced their workload, prioritizing more time together and with the girls, and that made everything lighter.

As promised, Lewis took his three girls to Maranello. The trip came in handy, as he was testing Ferrari's new car and would have to travel to Italy anyway.

The Italian winter greeted them with a biting cold, but the sky was clear and the sun tried to warm the city. They were already at the Ferrari factory, walking towards the entrance. The girls were beaming with excitement.

Marie, as always more reserved than her sister, surprised everyone with her excitement. She held her mother's hand tightly as she skipped along the path, her eyes shining at the opportunity to learn more about cars.

"And did you know, Mom?" Marie began, looking at Y/n expectantly. "That Schumacher's Ferrari F2004 was one of the most dominant cars in Formula One history? He won 15 races that season!"

Lewis and Y/n exchanged surprised looks.

"Wow! That's really amazing, Marie!" Y/n encouraged, smiling at her daughter, who, a little shy, smiled back.

Lewis chuckled softly, placing his hand on his daughter's head. "You can work as my engineer when you grow up, you know? I think I'll need someone smart like that on my team."

Marie and Y/n laughed together, while Pietra, on her father's lap, remained oblivious to the conversation. Unlike her sister, she wasn't as interested in car curiosities. His eyes were fixed on his father's neck, where his small, warm hands glided over the skin.

Lewis soon realized where his daughter was playing and smiled. It was right over one of his tattoos—the one with his daughters' names on it.

"P...I...E...T...R...A" The girl spelled loudly, catching the attention of her mother and sister, who were walking beside them.

"Very good, P!" Lewis encouraged her. "And what do you think it says?"

The little girl frowned and then smiled proudly. "ROSCOE!"

The three immediately burst out laughing, Pietra looked at each one with that confident smile, thinking she had guessed the name that was written on the tattoo.

Lewis had to pull the youngest up so she wouldn't fall off his lap while still laughing. She was definitely the jokester of the family.

Marie, still laughing, poked her sister in the ribs. "No, P! It says PIETRA!"

The youngest opened her eyes wide and looked at her father in surprise. With a quick gesture, she placed both hands on his cheeks, making him turn his face towards her.

"OH! THAT'S MY NAME!"

Lewis let out a loving laugh. "Yes, that's your name. And right up here is your sister's name, too."

Pietra tilted her head, watching carefully. "But... where is Roscoe's name?"

There was general laughter again. Y/n shook her head in amusement. "Wow, I feel forgotten here. Doesn't my name count anymore?"

Lewis smiled and winked at her. "Of course it counts. But yours is on my chest, right next to my heart."

As soon as they reached the factory entrance, Lewis swiped his ID card, unlocking the door. His photo appeared on the monitor, and Pietra pointed at the screen in surprise.

"Dad! Ferrari is your fan! They put your picture there!"

Lewis chuckled, tilting his head slightly. “That’s just my name tag, little one. If it was Uncle Charles, it would have his picture on it.” He explained briefly.

Pietra nodded, understanding.

As soon as they entered, Lewis placed his daughter on the floor, and the two girls were fascinated by the surroundings. Marie observed everything carefully, absorbing every detail.

An engineer from Lewis soon appeared, greeting the family. Y/n gave an encouraging look to her daughters, who shook the man's hand in a shy but polite greeting.

"Well, Miss Hamilton. Your daddy told me that you were excited to see the Ferrari house, so I'll be your guide today through the factory and the museum." He explained kindly and the girls smiled excitedly.

Lewis and Y/n exchanged knowing looks when they saw the girls' excitement. Marie, always curious, began to ask the engineer questions as they walked ahead of her parents.

"That girl knows more about cars than he does," Lewis muttered, making Y/n chuckle softly.

"I think we should get her into college right away, so she can start working with you as soon as possible."

Lewis smiled proudly as he linked his fingers with his wife's and followed his daughters through the factory.

The girls wore winter clothes, matching in small details. Marie had a red bow in her hair, which held back her mother's straight locks. While Pietra had a red headband in her hair and defined curls, she had also decided to wear her favorite red boots.

She said it was to get in the mood of the team. Lewis and Y/n laughed when she made that statement before they left the house they rented for the trip.

As the engineer led them through the rooms, Marie asked questions with a twinkle in her eye.

"And these parts here?" She pointed to a table with different components displayed. "Are they part of the car's engine?"

The engineer raised his eyebrows, surprised by the intensity of the six-year-old girl's question. He looked at Lewis and Y/n with a smile before gently lowering himself to Marie's height.

"Excellent question! Some of these parts are for aerodynamics, helping the car gain more stability in curves, and others are part of the engine, ensuring more power. For example, this one here..."

He began to explain the differences, while Marie listened attentively, absorbing each piece of information as if she were in an engineers' meeting.

The guide never expected the tour to be more interesting for a child than for adults.

Further back, Lewis and Y/n watched the scene with pride, but also with amusement.

"This sounds like a conversation between two teammates" Y/n muttered, crossing her arms.

"And she could still be right about everything she's saying, which is even more impressive" Lewis added, chuckling softly.

It was then that he realized something. Or rather, he realized the lack of something.

Turning her head slightly, she saw Pietra standing a few steps behind them, staring at the ceiling with her mouth slightly open, completely uninterested in the pieces in front of her and her sister.

He held back a laugh and nudged his wife in the side. "Look at Pietra."

Y/n turned around and had to stop herself from laughing out loud. Pietra was still fascinated by the bright chandelier on the ceiling.

The little girl turned excitedly to her parents and pointed upward. "Look how it glows! Can we have one of those in our house?"

Lewis and Y/n exchanged an amused look.

"And this one is going to be an architect" Lewis joked, chuckling softly.

Y/n laughed too, as Pietra finally gave up on the chandelier and returned to her mother's side, holding her hand as they continued their tour.

Moving on to another room, they passed close to the area where the engineers worked directly with the parts for the Formula 1 cars. The guide looked at Marie with a smile and pointed.

"This is where you'll be working in a few years."

Marie smiled excitedly, and Lewis and Y/n shared a proud look. It was amazing to see the brilliant little minds they were creating.

As they walked down the hallway, an engineer from the Formula 1 team passed by them, patting Lewis on the back and waving to Y/n. Then his gaze fell on the girls, and he smiled.

"Ah, so you must be Mini Lewis 1." He pointed to Marie, who laughed softly. "And you, Mini Lewis 2." He pointed to Pietra.

Y/n and Lewis laughed. But Pietra narrowed her eyes, as if she were analyzing the man, and then extended her hand.

"I'm actually Pietra Hamilton"

The engineer held back his laughter at the cute gesture and shook her small hand. "Oh, nice to meet you then, Pietra Hamilton" He said amusedly.

After he said goodbye to the Hamilton family and walked back down the hall to work, Lewis chuckled and looked at Y/n.

"P is a member of the public." He joked, and Y/n laughed along.

When they reached a room filled with old overalls, trophies, helmets and medals from the drivers who had passed through the team, the engineer turned to Marie with a challenging smile.

"Okay, let's see how much you really know about Ferrari" He said. "What was the team's first Formula 1 title?"

Marie smiled and replied without hesitation: "It was in 1952."

The engineer's eyes widened and he let out a surprised laugh. "That girl is a genius!"

Lewis smiled proudly, placing one hand on Marie's back and the other on Pietra's as he guided them and they continued exploring the room together.

Further back, Y/n gave Lewis space to have a moment with the girls, but smiled at every funny comment from Pietra or every impressive curiosity from Marie.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around, finding a familiar face.

"Angela!" She exclaimed, smiling and hugging Lewis's physical therapist. "I missed you!"

"Me too!" Angela laughed.

"But what are you doing here? I thought you were on vacation."

"I came to bring some documents about the start of the season for the team. Some things related to the training schedule, physical evaluations and adjustments to the pilots' preparation program." She says smiling, still with a hand on Y/n's shoulder.

She and Angela became great friends as soon as they met at Mercedes. The physiotherapist was a great friend of the family and adored the girls. Until then, when Y/n went into labor with Marie, and was in the garage watching Lewis race, the woman helped her calm down and accompanied her to the hospital. She stayed by her side until Lewis left the track and was able to stay by her wife's side while Marie was born.

The physiotherapist was definitely an important part of the family. And Y/n was more than happy to hear that she was back working with Lewis, now at Ferrari.

Angela then pointed to Lewis and the girls. "Looks like today is bring-your-daughters-to-work day."

Y/n laughed. "Lew has wanted to bring them to see the factory for a long time."

Angela smiled, watching the three interact. "Did you know that when Lewis first came here, he said he wanted his daughters to have memories here? He said he wanted them to have the Ferrari as part of their family history, just like the Mercedes was."

Y/n smiled lovingly, watching her husband and daughters from afar. While he laughed at something Pietra had said and Marie was leaning against him looking at the trophies.

Angela looked at the watch on her wrist and sighed. "But unfortunately...I have to go, I still have a flight to catch."

Y/n hugged her again. "We need to schedule a meeting to catch up."

"For sure!" Angela smiled and hugged Y/n too, before saying goodbye and leaving the room.

After leaving the trophy room, the guide took them to a gigantic space where several Ferrari cars were on display, from the first models to the most recent ones.

Marie gaped, putting her hand over her mouth as she looked at everything in awe and walked slowly, as if trying to process all the information her clever little brain had received at once.

Lewis leaned over to Y/n and smiled. "Look at that face. I think we just found Ferrari's new chief engineer."

Y/n smiles lovingly at her eldest daughter, her chest filling with affection. "You should make her your second pilot" She says to her husband and laughs.

The two walked hand in hand, watching the cars and the girls' smiles.

Pietra seemed a little more interested than before, but not to the point of asking questions. She enjoyed racing and traveling with her father, but the technical details were not her strong point. She left that part to her older sister.

Marie, on the other hand, recognized several cars and mentioned old drivers. "That's the car Niki Lauda won the 1975 title with!" She let out an excited squeal.

Lewis and Y/n exchanged an impressed look.

"I think she'll know more than I do soon" Lewis muttered.

While Marie explored everything, Pietra had fun in another way. Looking at all the aesthetics and colors of the cars. Saying that one was beautiful. No, wait! That one was prettier.

"Daddy, take a picture of me with this!" She asked several times, posing next to different cars. Y/n laughed at the poses the youngest made.

But then, in the center of the room, was one of Ferrari's newest models. Pietra looked at him with shining eyes and, without realizing that she couldn't climb, prepared to climb him.

Lewis quickly handed the phone to Y/n and laughed. "Whoa, whoa, young lady. You can't go up there."

He picked her up before she could climb into the show car. Pietra laughed.

"Oops! Sorry, Dad!"

Lewis laughed. "It's okay, little one. Just pay attention to the warning signs." He smiles. And he put her down again, and Pietra ran to Marie, who was still fascinated by the exhibition.

Y/n and Lewis looked at each other and smiled. "This day will stay in their memories forever" Y/n said.

While Marie was still watching the cars in fascination, listening attentively to the curiosities that the engineer explained, the door to the room opened and a relaxed voice caught everyone's attention.

"I hope you're not letting Lewis tell too many stories... He tends to exaggerate when he talks about cars."

Leclerc entered the room with an amused smile, his hair still a little messy from training. His joke got a few laughs and made Lewis roll his eyes, laughing along.

"Look who's talking, the guy who describes every curve as if it were a work of art" Lewis replied amusedly, going over to Charles for a side hug and a handshake.

Charles chuckled and then nodded politely at Y/n, who smiled in return.

The girls, curious, walked over to where their parents were talking. Pietra was the first to speak up.

"You're sweaty!" He said, wrinkling his nose, before shaking the pilot's hand.

Charles laughed. "That's what happens when you spend hours inside a race car."

Marie, more reserved, just waved and said a shy "Hi", receiving a friendly smile from Charles and a gentle greeting as well.

The pilot's gaze then fell on Pietra again, and he noticed the change in the girl's hairstyle.

"Wait a minute... what about your braids like your dad's?"

Pietra crossed her arms and pouted. "Mommy took them off for me. They hurt my head sometimes."

This made everyone laugh, and Y/n lightly ruffled her youngest daughter's curly hair.

Marie, always a little curious to see her father's teammate in racing gear, looked at Charles and asked, "Were you training just now?"

"Yes, I'm done with my training today," he replied kindly.

"How was the car?" Marie asked, her eyes shining with interest.

Charles was surprised by the question, but smiled excitedly. "Oh, he was good today! His balance has improved a lot since yesterday, so I was able to test out some fast laps."

"Did the balance change because of the rear wing or was it more because of the tire pressure?" Marie asked, frowning.

Charles blinked a few times in surprise.

"Wow, that's a great question!" He looked at Lewis. "This is your fault, isn't it?"

Lewis laughed proudly. "Her brain is working at a thousand miles an hour." He said, hugging his wife from the side and running his hand up and down her back, covered by a large coat.

"To answer your question, little Hamilton, it was a bit of both. We adjusted the wing for more stability in high-speed corners, but we also changed the calibration to improve traction coming out of corners."

Marie nodded, absorbing the explanation.

Meanwhile, Pietra pulled her mother's hand, making Y/n duck. "Mommy, why does he talk funny?" She whispers.

Y/n held back her laughter and replied softly, "Because he's not British like us, love. The accent changes depending on where the person was born."

Pietra nodded thoughtfully and went back to watching Charles as he talked to Marie.

After the brief interaction with the driver, the group moved on to another room, where there was a memorial to Niki Lauda. Marie looked around, her eyes shining with admiration.

"Daddy knew him, but I didn't..." She explained to the engineer who accompanied them on the tour. "But he seemed like a nice man, from the stories Daddy tells."

Lewis smiled, but his eyes were filled with emotion. The memory of Lauda always touched him deeply, even more so now that he knew that his daughter also admired the driver. Without saying anything, Y/n rested her head on her husband's shoulder and gently ran her hand down his back, offering comfort.

As Marie continued to gaze at the memorial, the engineer stepped away for a moment and soon returned with an old F1 steering wheel. He crouched down in front of the girls and smiled.

"Want to hold it? This one is an older model."

Marie carefully grabbed the steering wheel and immediately widened her eyes. "It's heavy, isn't it, Daddy?" She turned to Lewis, surprised by the weight of the object.

Lewis laughed and nodded, and crouched down beside her, patting his daughter's head.

As Marie examined the steering wheel with concentration, Pietra approached and asked with her innocent curiosity: "Where is the button to play music?"

Everyone burst out laughing, Lewis had to stand up and rest his head on his wife's shoulder to stifle the laughter he was holding back. Pietra was definitely the most spontaneous little person Lewis had ever seen in his life.

The engineer explained patiently, but smiling at the question. "F1 cars don't have radios for music, little Hamilton, only for talking to the team."

They continued the tour through a few more rooms. Pietra made funny and innocent comments, while Marie patiently corrected her sister and explained each thing. Even though she didn't fully understand, Pietra always nodded seriously, as if it were something very important.

Lewis and Y/n exchanged amused glances as they watched their daughters interact.

At the end of the tour, Ferrari had prepared a special surprise: mini red jumpsuits personalized with the girls' names.

Marie was delighted and clutched the jumpsuit to her chest. "Now I feel like part of the team!"

Pietra spun around with the jumpsuit in her hands before declaring, "I want a matching helmet!"

Lewis laughed and joked, "Hey, one step at a time, little grasshopper." Pietra laughed and spun around again, excited about the gift.

After the tour, Lewis thanked the team and their availability so he could bring his family to see the space where he worked outside of racing. They said goodbye to the engineer and chatted with some acquaintances who passed by the hallway as they walked.

And as they walked back to the car, Marie, who was holding her father's hand and bouncing excitedly, looked at Lewis.

"Dad, I want to live in Maranello when I grow up. I want to study Engineering and work at Ferrari!"

Y/n laughed when she heard this, while Pietra, on her mother's lap, played with the necklace carefreely.

Lewis sighed dramatically. "Oh my God, my daughter is only six years old and she already wants to leave home to study abroad!" He wiped away fake tears, making Marie laugh. "Please, slow down with that intelligence of yours, daughter. You haven't even reached high school and you already want to leave Daddy!"

Marie laughed. "I won't abandon you, Daddy. I love you so much."

Lewis was overcome with emotion and picked Marie up, spinning her around. The girl laughed loudly, full of joy. He hugged her tightly, feeling the immense love he had for his daughters and for the family he was building with the love of his life.

Meanwhile, Pietra, still playing with her mother's necklace, looked at her parents and mischievously declared: "I'm going to leave daddy to study abroad."

Lewis stopped abruptly and put his hand on his chest, feigning shock. While Marie laughed softly and Y/n looked at the scene with amusement in her eyes. "I raise you with love, affection and lots of strawberry ice cream and you treat me like this?!"

Y/n laughed along with the girls. Pietra turned around in her mother's lap, smiling at her father. "No, Daddy, I was joking. I'm not going to abandon you, nor Mommy, nor Marie."

Lewis sighed in relief. "Ah, that's great."

Pietra laughed and looked at her mother, who was shaking her head in amusement.

When they got to the car, Lewis and Y/n put their daughters on the floor so they could get in. Before opening the door, Lewis leaned close to his wife with a suggestive smile.

"I think I want a third mini Hamilton."

Y/n laughed, but felt her heart warm. Looking at her daughters, who were so full of life, and her husband, who was an incredible father and a wonderful partner, she knew that despite the challenges, they were building something special together. With love, patience and unity, their brilliant little minds would one day make a difference in the world.

Author: I'm going to make a masterlist with all the imagines I'm writing for this family, as soon as it's ready, I'll leave it on my Masterlist FORMULA 1

[pullupinarari]

I feel so cold without you [LH]

summary: Lewis' schedule has been crazy, and he can't spend much time at home. but little Grace doesn't understand why.

author's note: I am still struggling with a writer's block so I'm so sorry cause this is honestly so bad and makes no sense, but I'm trying to get my creativity flowing again so pls bear with me. this is angsty but doesn't have a destructive ending. also barely proofread

• masterlist

wc: 5530 - English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated

Everybody knows that Lewis’ life involves traveling a lot, to different countries, continents, all the time - that’s not new to anyone. You met him in this reality, married him with this crazy agenda, and Grace was born in the middle of what you consider to be ‘normal’ for your life beside your husband. 

As a couple, you always managed to deal with the schedules, the work trips, the races abroad. As a family, you learned how to juggle being a mum and a wife to a F1 driver, with your own work responsibilities, teaching little Grace the best you can all about why her dad has to be away so much. 

When Lewis is away for a little time, your daughter understands it. She sees her daddy racing on the television, she chants his name as if she was there in person - she knows her dad is doing what he is best at, besides being the bestest daddy ever to her.

But Grace is very, very attached to Lewis, in the exact same way that Lewis is extremely attached to his princess, and they can’t stay away from each other for long. The problem is, for the past couple of weeks, your husband hasn’t been home. 

Lewis was in Italy, preparing everything at Ferrari, and setting everything up for the day you and Grace will meet him there, at the new place that you will call ‘home’ for this new period of your life. Then, the driver had to fly with the team to Spain, to prepare for the pre-season. So, his schedule has been incredibly tight, leaving him with no chance of flying back to London, to his girls’ arms, even for just a night. 

As the weeks pass by, your daughter starts growing confused. Daddy isn’t racing on the telly, he isn’t home to play with her, so the toddler could show him how she is feeling more confident to ride her pink bike, and the only time she sees him is through a video call that he does when calling you at the end of the day. 

So, why is daddy not home to tuck Gracie into bed every night? To give her the special forehead kisses that only he knows how to do, the ones that would scare away all the monsters?

Inside the three-year-old’s brain, everything made more sense while she could see him driving his car on the television, listening to him talking on the interviews following the race, knowing for a fact that her daddy is working. And, as much as you keep telling the toddler that dad is at work, where is he working? Why can’t Grace watch him on the television now? And why can’t he come home?

It’s been too long - you know. You admit it too. But you can’t say that to your baby’s face, adding more to the exasperation living inside her confused mind. It’s already heartbreaking enough to see your daughter’s eyes growing sadder by the day, noticing how she grows quieter through the week, seeing the disappointment plastered all over her face every time you have to say ‘no’ whenever she asks ‘is daddy coming home today?’

The salty tears painting the toddler’s features when she begs her daddy to come home over the phone are enough to make yours and Lewis’ hearts sting with an indescribable pain - one that seems to never cease, no matter how hard you try to nestle her close to your chest, trying your hardest to shush her fears and insecurities, making her feel protected in the first home she ever knew - your skin. 

- You don’t love me anymore, daddy? - Grace blurts out in between sobs, her little voice sounding muffled against your skin as she hides her face on the crook of your neck. 

The words leaving her mouth were enough to make Lewis’ heart sink, making sure that question will forever be engraved in his mind, not letting him forget about this moment, about the hurt in his princess’ voice when wondering why he is not home with her.

The man is left speechless for a minute, feeling a bunch of hot tears threatening to spill from his eyes as well. It has, definitely, been too long since he got to have a moment just for his family, dedicating all his hours to his favourite girls. 

He knows exactly how Grace is feeling, because Lewis feels the exact same void fulfilling his days, desperate to have some free time so he can go back home as soon as possible. But unfortunately, everything has been too much, lately, and the driver’s schedule is not giving him a break. 

- Daddy loves you more than anything else in this world, princess, you know that… - Lewis’ trembling voice cuts his phrase short, swallowing the knot that’s stuck in the man’s throat as his daughter continues weeping on the other side of the line.  - Then come home! I miss you so much, daddy - Grace insists, her sobs growing louder as the little girl tries to understand why her dad can’t be by her side, right now. 

He wishes he could. Lewis feels every bone in his body frail at night, when he lays his head on the pillow and opens his camera roll, going back to every picture and video that reminds him of some moments when he genuinely felt happy and at peace - with Grace in his arms, with you by his side. 

Tonight, some silent tears are finally freed from his eyes, looking at all the pictures of his child in his phone, while his brain is still replaying the toddler’s harsh question that she let out over the call earlier today. 

Lewis feels this moment completely wrecking him, especially when he stops to think about all the videos you send him while he is away, updating him on every new achievement and discovery your daughter makes during the days, trying your best so your husband won’t feel like he is missing too much. 

But he is. And he knows it - especially when he realizes how fast time passes by, how tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for anyone. How does he know that tomorrow is coming? Your husband keeps waiting for it, hoping that a break will eventually arrive so he can go home, but he shouldn’t suppose that tomorrow is coming, because nothing in this world can assure him that there will be one. And that thought kills him, because while he is thinking about it, he realizes that it’s been five weeks since the last time he got to be home, tucking his daughter to bed. 

The excited, bubbly Grace you know has been missing lately, leaving room for a sad and confused toddler to show up in her place - one that holds tighter to you when you hug her, when you’re holding her in your arms, kissing her curls as her lips just show you a downhearted pout. 

As your child grows up, she finds new challenges in life, and dealing with new emotions definitely is one of them - and missing her daddy this much has been leading to a rollercoaster of questions to erupt in your baby’s creative mind. You tuck her into bed, but it’s not the same thing. Your kisses are sweet and protective, but they are not Lewis’ cuddles that make sure to create a shield around the little princess, making sure no monsters can reach her. 

Your days have been hard as well, trying your best to deal with Grace’s doubts and tantrums, hushing her as you assure her that you are right there for her, informing her that her daddy will be by the girl’s side in no time. But, in the silent darkness of the night, heavy sighs escape your figure as well, loud noises of concern erupt in your mind, questioning if you are doing a good job, if you’re being a good mum, if you’re supporting your husband the right way. But, sometimes, you also ask yourself: where do you stand, in the middle of all this?

The arms that hold Grace are the same ones that hold Lewis when he needs it the most, you being the pillar of your family, holding everything in place when a storm threatens to push your boat away from safe land. Either way, you know better than to complain, understanding how this entire situation is hard for your husband as well, sharing the same pain and apprehension when you talk to him over the phone. 

Feeling restless from so many sleepless nights, being haunted by the infinite thoughts running through his brain, the man finally managed to get a free day - just 24 hours, but enough for him to fly back home, accepting the short break if that means he can hold the light of his life in his arms for a bit, shushing away all the small weeps that leave the toddler’s figure. 

Arriving early in the morning, you are already waiting to see your husband walking through the door, with a cup of warm tea in your hand. You can’t deny that there’s a small glimpse of nervousness bubbling inside of your stomach, at the thought of finally seeing him again, praying that his presence will lighten up the mood and help your daughter feel better. 

You’re sipping on your tea when you hear the front door open. Shortly after, his shadow appears on the kitchen’s tiles, mere seconds before the man himself is in front of you - the shine in his eyes, the relieved smile cracking through his tired features is noticeable, as he immediately walks over to you. 

Once your figures meet, Lewis wraps his arms around your figure, holding you close without saying a word, sharing a deep, tight hug while kissing your shoulder lovingly from time to time. There’s a heavy sigh leaving his body, as if being home is the magic solution that helps improve all his problems, taking a huge weight off his shoulders. 

His face is glued to the crook of your neck for a while, as your fingers reach to caress his scalp. It feels like time has stopped, as if the world is not spinning anymore. Both of you are merged in a bubble of comfort and reassurance, almost making up for all the stress and agony that your parental hearts have been feeling lately. 

When your lips finally connect again - after so long, a deafening silence is created between your bodies, as if your kisses speak for the two of you. I miss you, I need you, things have been so hard without you by my side. Both of you feel the same, both of you know how hard the past weeks have been for your family. 

Breaking the kiss, your foreheads are still glued, the tips of your noses touching, wanting to feel the other as close as possible. 

- She’s still asleep? - your husband breaks the silence, asking about Grace. He has very little time to stay, and he wants to enjoy every second by his daughter’s side. Still, the man can’t help but bite his own tongue as he looks at the time: it’s 7:24 am, and he knows that his baby usually doesn’t wake up that early. 

He earns a nod from you. The little girl hasn’t had nice nights of sleep lately either, constantly waking up after having bad dreams, always begging you to cuddle her to sleep, to let her sleep by your side. To tell the truth, your heart softens every time that your daughter asks to sleep with you, loving how she helps you fight Lewis’ absence as well, you two cuddling each other so you don’t feel so alone without his bright, powerful presence around.  

- She’s on your side of the bed, though - you inform him. Last night wasn’t any different. Another nightmare, another cuddle session in your bed before the toddler falls asleep again. 

Lewis furrows his eyebrows at your words for a second, before remembering that you had already told him all about how Grace has been having more bad dreams than usual, especially since she started feeling so down, constantly asking if her dad doesn’t want to be around her anymore. 

Again, a deep sigh leaves his lips, filling the air surrounding you. The memories of everything that his daughter has been saying, make an incredibly heavy weight to form on his shoulders, hating how he has to stay away for work so much, how he hasn’t been able to give his princess all the attention she needs and deserves. 

Trying to shrug those thoughts away, the man serves himself a cup of coffee before reaching for your hand, guiding you to lay on the sofa with him, wanting to enjoy this day to the fullest - starting with a cuddle session with his wife, until it’s time for Grace to wake up. 

Having your husband’s arms wrapped around you again almost feels like a dream. Something that has felt so distant for the past weeks, that you were craving and needing so much. And now, you finally have him all to yourself, and as you rest your head on his chest, a comfortable silence strings your bodies along. No one dares to say a word, just focusing on how each other’s touch feels light yet soothing against the other’s skin, leaving kisses here and there, hugging tighter and closer. 

In the back of your head, there’s a small assumption that keeps itching you. As much as you want to believe that he is home to stay - at least for a week or so, unfortunately, you noticed how small is the bag that he brought with him when he arrived. An incredibly small one, the type that Lewis only uses when he is only away for a weekend or so. So, as much as you want to make the most of this, the cuddles, his presence, you know it’s something that it won’t last. 

It’s like Lewis can feel the tension that slowly creeps on your muscles the more you think about it, his hands rubbing your back to try and calm you down, showing that he is here, right by your side, trying to take your mind off of whatever is bothering you. 

But in reality, he too has been obsessively thinking about the time passing by, how he needs to leave again in the middle of the night, not even being able to sleep beside his wife for an entire night - wanting nothing more than to cuddle you and Grace to sleep in his chest, protecting the loves of his life. But he can’t. Not tonight. And he knows that he hasn’t told you about it yet, but it’s like he can’t find the courage in his body to do it, to drop the bomb in your face, to ruin the moment you’re having right now. So he decides to keep it to himself, for now. 

8:47 am, you and your husband are climbing up the stairs to your shared bedroom, where your daughter is still sleeping. Opening the door to her tiny figure wrapped in the sheets, her curls all over his pillow, truly is the sight that the man didn’t know he needed to heal every wound in his heart. 

Lewis doesn’t even hold back, his body moving on its own as he sits at the end of the bed, on his side of the mattress that now apparently belongs to Grace, so he can have a better view of his baby’s features. 

She looks gorgeous as ever, the most beautiful and precious thing that Lewis has ever laid his eyes on, the most important thing in the driver’s life, the owner of his entire heart, without a doubt. Some small tears tingle in his eyes as his fingers gently caress the toddler’s cheek, slowly nudging her so the girl can wake up. 

- Princess - he calls quietly, before landing a small kiss on his child’s hand. - Time to wake up. 

Slowly opening her eyes, the little girl rubs her features as she wakes up from her slumber. Her gaze immediately is glued to the figure in front of her, almost as if she is trying to make sense of reality, questioning if she is still dreaming. 

- Daddy? - Grace whispers, before some tears appear in her eyes as Lewis nods at her question, getting close so he can hold her small body close to him. 

Small cries escape the toddler’s figure, as she immediately wraps her arms around her dad’s neck, using all her strength to not let him go, scared that he might leave again if she breaks the hug. 

Lewis can’t even describe the feeling washing over him as he can finally hold his daughter safely in his arms, noticing the scent of her baby shampoo, how her skin still holds his favourite smell ever. He can only take deep breaths, kissing the top of Grace’s head countless times, trying to calm himself down so as to not break down crying while holding his baby.

It’s an emotional sight, even for you , now that you are watching your two favourite people reunite, feeling your heart beating stronger in your chest, as if it’s being refilled with love again, after so many insecurities pooling over your head lately. 

And your daughter’s cries quickly turn into an excited gasp that leaves her lips, forgetting about all the sadness that she was carrying lately - now being substituted by happiness, the genuine type, from having her father near her again.

Soon enough, the toddler is jumping on the mattress, giggling loud as she celebrates the fact that daddy is home again, and now he can have tea parties with her, she can show him how she has mastered all the techniques he has taught her about riding her pink bike, watch her favourite cartoons with her on the sofa, and do everything that the girl has been wanting to do with him while he was away. 

Lewis giggles for a moment, before feeling a weight sinking in his chest again, remembering how he can’t do any of that with his princess, because he will leave again in a few hours. 

- Daddy! Can we go see the cute ducks at the lake tomorrow? Mummy took me there the other day, and there are little ones now! You need to see them, they are sooo cute!! - Her excited tone, mixed with the puppy eyes that she is giving him, are enough to break the man’s heart. And he knows that his next words are about to break his daughter’s heart as well.

Sighing, he tries his hardest to find the right words to say it, but it’s like his brain just forgot every single one of them. 

- Daddy can’t make it tomorrow, love. - the little girl furrows her eyebrows, not really understanding what her dad is trying to say. - Are you tired from the trip back home, daddy? It’s okay, we can go the day after tomorrow. We can just stay home and have a tea party instead? - her cute smile is just making everything hurt even more for him.  - Bubs, daddy is only home for today. I have a day off work and came back to see you and mummy, but I have to leave again after you go to sleep tonight. - there it is, the words that he didn’t want to say, and the ones that no one in the room wanted to hear. 

Your head hangs low as you hear it. Deep down, you already knew it. You knew it, as soon as you saw the bag that clearly showed that he wasn’t going to stay for long, when neither of you wanted to talk about the day he had to leave you two again. And now, you know why. 

His words hit Grace like a million bricks, the poor little girl being met with reality once again as she tries her best to hold back the tears that still slide down her cheeks. 

- You don’t love me anymore! You don’t want to spend time with me anymore! - the toddler screams before running away from her dad, hiding in between the four safe, pink walls of her room. 

And again, Lewis is met with his daughter’s harsh words, that are enough to tear his entire world apart. He gets up from the bed, wanting to go meet his child again, only to be stopped by your hand, touching his chest in a silent ‘don’t’. He too can see the disappointment evident in your eyes before you break eye contact, turning your back on him as you go to your daughter’s room. 

Your husband sits on the edge of the bed again, his head in his hands as he rethinks every small decision that he has ever made, questioning why his schedule has to be so chaotic, why life can’t ease up on him a little more, so he can have some more time for his family. At this point, he doesn’t know what he can do to be better, to make things right, to make it easier for everybody, knowing for a fact that he has, above all, been failing his family lately: failing you as a husband, failing Grace as her father. 

Opening the door of your shared bedroom a little bit, he can hear his baby’s loud cries again, as you hold her close in your chest, trying your best to calm her down again - something that has become a part of your routine already. And the sounds, the mental picture of what’s happening behind Grace’s bedroom door is enough to break him, to make some tears fall from his eyes as well as he clenches his fist, absolutely hating this entire situation, cursing himself from having to leave his family so soon. 

Grace doesn’t know how to deal with these new emotions that have been erupting through her small figure lately. All she knows is that she is sad, very sad. And very confused with her dad’s agenda, not understanding why this is making her chest hurt, only making her cry out more, feeling scared with the discomfort that these newfound emotions provide her. 

Tired of hearing his princess cry while staying still in his bedroom without doing anything to help or to make it better, Lewis decides to step up, gaining the courage to walk to the toddler’s room.

Knocking on the door gently, he hopes to be met with a ‘come in’. But instead, he is met with a loud ‘I don’t want to see you!’ coming from his daughter’s mouth, hearing how you reprimand her due to the attitude she is giving him, now. There’s a desperate sigh escaping Lewis’ lips now, but still, he decides to ignore Grace’s words, walking inside the room. 

Once he does, the toddler immediately hides her face in your chest again, trying her best not to look at her dad’s face, keeping her words. 

- Grace, please look at me - Lewis asks her with a serious tone, crouching down so he is eye leveled with the kid. But still, all he gets in return is silence, and the girl only hides her face further into the crook of your neck. 

Rubbing his features with his hands almost desperately, he looks up at you, giving you a pleading glance, needing your help with this - begging you to forget about how sad and disappointed you are feeling at him now as well, so you can help him solve this problem with your daughter now. 

With a tired sigh, you give in. 

- Grace, look at your father - you say. Still, nothing. You know she is as stubborn as you are, but you absolutely hate when she is acting up this way. - Grace. - you say more sternly, catching the girl’s attention as she slowly turns to look at him, now. 

Once Lewis’ eyes meet his child’s again, the pain in both of their chests connects, feeling it in the exact same intensity. Taking in the sight of his daughter’s tear stained face is the worst part of it all. 

- Bubs, please listen to daddy carefully. - he starts speaking, feeling his voice cracking a bit, laced with the million different emotions surrounding his body as well.  - You know how you and mummy are going to move to the new house that daddy got in Italy, right baby? I even showed you pictures of your new room and everything - he asks Grace, trying to give her a calm, light tone. The girl nods her head, not really in the mood to talk now.  - So, daddy needs to go because I am preparing everything so you can move there as fast as possible love, so we can spend every day together again. - the thought of having his family next to him all day, every day again, makes a small smile appear in the man’s face.  - But you are never home anymore. You can leave that house and come here! And you don’t want to play with me anymore. - the toddler finally speaks up, finding a perfectly reasonable solution for the problem. 

Lewis tries to get closer to the little girl, his fingers gently touching her small hand, hoping she will give in a bit, so she can better understand what’s going on and hug him again in no time. 

- Princess, my favourite thing in this world is to play with you. Tea parties, riding our bikes, you painting my nails, watching ducks at the lake, you name it. My favourite time in this world is the time I get to spend by your side - he admits, being completely transparent as he looks right into the toddler’s eyes. - You know daddy loves you more than anything in this entire world, bubs. 

The three-year-old slowly nods her head ‘yes’. She does know that her dad loves her more than anything, but she is still hurt. 

- I promise everything will get easier, princess. I’m doing everything I can so we can be together everyday again really, really fast, okay? Please forgive me, my love. Daddy never wanted to hurt you - landing a small kiss on her cheek, his hands caress her hair as the little girl moves in your lap, stretching her small arms to hug her daddy. 

And once Lewis is able to hold his princess in his arms again, everything feels a bit more right, as if the toddler has the power to glue the pieces of his heart together. The only things that can be heard in the room are muffled ‘I love you, bubs’, ‘I love you so much’, that Lewis keeps whispering to his daughter, to which Grace quietly replies ‘I love you too, daddy’. 

Today, there were no tea parties, the kid didn’t paint her dad’s nails, they didn’t go to see the ducks at the lake. Instead, they ate the toddler’s favourite breakfast together, at home, and decided to just spend the entire day cuddling on the sofa, enjoying the time together as a family, playing some small games, singing songs, dancing in the middle of the living room, to an extent that loud giggles would erupt through the walls.

After dinner, the air grows heavy again, as the three of you know that the day

is coming to an end, and that Lewis won’t be home again once you and your daughter wake up. 

The man carries Grace safely in his arms, her tiny limbs strongly wrapped around his neck as well, as they reach the toddler’s bedroom. Now, you decided to let them have this moment to themselves, waiting downstairs for your husband to come back. 

Tucking his princess in bed as he usually does, the biggest kiss lands on the little girl’s forehead, ready to scare all monsters away, so she can have the most peaceful of sleeps, with the sweetest of dreams. 

- Have a nice night of sleep, my love - Lewis says, trying not to show how this goodbye is killing him, playing it off with a smile. 

However, he notices the kid’s big chocolate eyes looking up at him attentively. 

- Please come back fast, daddy. I feel so cold without you. And mummy misses you too - the toddler whispers, almost on the verge of crying again. 

Lewis needs to swallow the lump forming in his throat again, staying silent for a second as he takes in his daughter’s words. 

- I promise I’ll be fast, bubs. You’ll be in your new room, in our new house, in no time. I promise - he shows her his pinky finger, knowing how serious Gracie takes pinky promises. 

The fact that her daddy is pinky promising her that they will be together again soon, makes a sparkle appear in the girl’s eyes, as she wraps her own pinky around his. 

- I love you so, so much, princess. More than anything in this world. Never doubt that - he insists, kissing her forehead again before giving her another bear hug.  - I love you too, daddy. And please make sure that my new bedroom has the right shade of pink in the walls - the three-year-old jokes, lightening the mood as her dad gets up from her bed.  - I will, baby. I will - he giggles lightly, before blowing one last kiss to his biggest reason to live, closing the door behind him. 

Lewis takes a moment before coming downstairs again, wiping away some of the tears that escaped his eyes. Saying goodbye to little Gracie is always the hardest, and definitely the worst part. 

Finally meeting you in the living room, the man completely breaks down as you engulf him in your arms, noticing how much of a wreck he is. You let him cry in your arms, staying silent as he apologizes over and over again to you. For not being home as much, for not having many days off of work, for failing you when you need him the most. 

At this moment, he starts thinking that maybe you were right all along. He should have slowed down already, he should have left F1 behind, dedicating himself to his other projects and especially to his family, which needs him so much. But he couldn’t say no to the opportunity of joining Ferrari, putting his dreams in front of everything else. 

This might only be temporary, until you and Grace finally meet him in Italy, but you are sure that you can’t keep up doing this for much longer, now. 

- Things can’t continue like this, Lewis - you tell him, hot tears sliding down your cheeks as well, now.  - I know, love. I know. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll make everything right. In a blink of an eye, the three of us will be together in our new home, baby. Please, just be a little more patient with me - he begs, his arms wrapping tighter around your silhouette as he voices his pleads. 

You sigh. You know you will end up giving in, but you can only take so much, and now, there’s not a day that you aren’t concerned about the future of your family. 

- Just don’t let this sport break you, baby. Don’t let them take you from us. We need you so, so much - you confess, seeing Lewis nod as his tears match yours, holding you in his chest as you mourn the time you had for each other. 

Before he has to leave, he makes sure to cuddle you extra close in bed, your words echoing in his mind to the point where he feels like he could drown in them, dying in your arms as you fall into a peaceful sleep in his chest, almost as if he will still be by your side once you wake up. 

But you know he will leave during the night. And so, while you have the privilege to fall asleep in his chest, you trick your mind to dream about him, so you can have him twice, making sure that, one way or another, he will still be with you once you wake up in the morning. 

In your absence, everything is suspended for Lewis. Your husband is so addicted to seeing you, that he just daydreams about your figure being right by his side, inventing you everywhere, feeding the void that the distance insists in creating between him and his family.

He hates it, he really does. But unfortunately, there’s nothing he can do right now. He wishes he could make a call and cancel all his responsibilities for the rest of the week, spending all day by his girls’ side. But he can’t. And right now, he can only pray for you to be even more patient, until the day you are together again, in your new house.

Tucking you in bed with a forehead kiss, the man leaves your shared room, feeling all the weight coming back to his shoulders as he picks up his bag, leaving his happiness behind as he travels back to his job, leaving his heart behind, in his home in the human shapes of you and Gracie, wanting to be right where his family is. 

[dingo-ate-my-hot-lettuce-crazy]

-+-layers-+-

author's note: heyyy, this is my lil try at the event in the supernatural writer's community, my tags will be at the bottom of the page for acknowledgements! <3 also someone please tell me if i did this wrong i have not done events at all i hope this is ok...ALSO i wrote this as dean from preseries all the way to season 1 and 2 in mind, but really you can imagine it to any ofc

summary: falling in love with dean is more than just a couple of flirtatious comments and winks. love takes time and vulnerability. and the more you read into the little moments, the more severely you fall in love with him.

pairings: dean x reader

characters: dean, sam, bobby

word count: 4.8K

warnings: cursing, disgusting fluff

-+-+-+

there was this beautiful change you've noticed over the years with dean. he's still the same person you've been falling in love with, but he becomes more and more human to you, you realized.

before this gradual revelation, you admit, you viewed him as what he presented himself as, which was the "ladies man" or "sex god", as he would refer to himself (and you denied it when he claimed it so, even though all you could think about was putting it to the test). he plays into his tough facade, this macho-man exterior. and you can attest, he is a masculine guy. he's chivalrous, but he still finds ways to be 'a man' about it. he holds doors open for almost any woman he sees, but he makes a bigger deal about it if it's you he's opening it for, of course.

-+-+-+-

"i'm not hating on ac/dc. i like their 'sound', but every song sounds the same." you argued.

"they do not. their 'sound' is consistent. that doesn't mean they sound the exact same. that's like saying to you that every britney spears song sounds the exact same." he rebuttled with a feigned anger.

"i never said 'exact' same-" you tried to finish your thought as your hand reached the gas station door handle before you were roughly pulled away from it, as dean's hand wrapped on your bicep. he had yanked you behind him, not even looking back, as he cut in front of you to open the door and gave you a shit-eating grin as you stepped through the entrance. "jesus christ." you had incredulously eyed him at his aggressive chivalry, to which he just smirked and followed you inside.

-+-+-+-

he gives you jackets anytime you’re cold- more so shoving it over you at the shiver he sees. he pretends to be annoyed at you too, but secretly, he wants to do it. he yearns to. he wants you to ask, but he knows you're also too stubborn to ask for anything.

-+-+-+-

"oh, jesus." you hissed, walking out of the diner as dean held the door open for you, the harsh New England winter breeze licking your skin.

"what?" dean's head turned to you.

"nothing- just almost fell. didn't see the step." you lied. you couldn't tell dean you were cold...he told you to bring a jacket before you left the motel.

a moment passes before dean's gaze falls to your exposed arms that now had goosebumps trailing along them, and you heard him scoff, "i swear- didn't i tell you?" and he was already stripping himself of his leather jacket, hanging it on your shoulders as you both continued to walk.

"dean-" you protested.

"take it."

and he meant to sound as bothered as he did, but behind you, it was getting harder to control the swell in his stomach that he got when he saw you in his clothes.

-+-+-+-

you are simply not allowed to get hungry around him. he won't let it happen. no matter how much you tell him that you're not hungry, or that you'll eat later- he hardly takes no for an answer.

-+-+-+-

"hey." dean tried to get your attention from the motel bed, as you were diligently researching at the table across from him. "yoo-hoo..."

you were zoned in on the lore book you were reading while the rest of the world was dead to you. that was until a pencil almost lobotomized you. it smacked against the wall and bounced onto the page you were reading, causing you to flinch, before you whipped your head to dean. "do you mind?"

"no, not at all." he shakes his head, unbothered by your irritated demeanor. "i'm gonna get food from the Chinese place down the road, what do you want?"

you waved your hand before turning back to the book, "nothing for me, thanks."

he raised a brow at you, standing up from the bed and putting on his shoes, "no Chinese? i can grab a pizza instead..."

"no, go get Chinese. just don't worry about me, i'm still full from lunch."

dean stood up, just looking at you as your attention was still on the book. he's angry, but it's an anger he can't explain or vocalize to you. he can't stand when you don't feed yourself, or don't take care of yourself. and he's well aware he does it too, but that doesn't matter, it's you we're talking about. you need to eat. you need to live. so he leaves with a curt, "fine, i'll be back in a bit."

and about forty-five minutes later, he wordlessly strolled back in the motel room, and plopped a plastic container with your typical take-out order and a side of spring rolls on the table next to your book. you bit your cheek, trying to make eye contact with him, but he knew you would try to give him some excuse not to eat, so he ignored your stare, and sat down on the bed to go to town on his own food.

-+-+-+-

he pays for any of the road snacks he gets you, takes care of your car if it needs oil or repairs, hardly let's you go anywhere alone, and will watch your drink at the bar like a hawk. he's a protector, and a gentleman, and he likes to be viewed as one. it was what he felt he was made for. and he especially loved protecting you. and he didn't think you needed protecting. it made him want to all the more. he knew you could easily take care of yourself- you made that known. you're clearly self-sufficient on hunts, independent, and you hardly ever asked for anything from dean. that's why he loved being the one to protect and be there for you. it was an honor for him.

now...

that doesn't mean he was always "that guy" around you.

you treasured the moments he let go in front of you, or with you. as time went on, and as you fell harder for him, these moments seemed to really stick out to you.

it takes a painfully long time for dean to be comfortable around someone. completely, anyway. he can joke around, and he can express his concern for people, and he'll provide acts of service to those around him. while it all means that he is maintaining connections, it's not the same as being internally comfortable. being truly relaxed in front of people was harder for dean. with you he was, and it meant that he could be his true self. one of those moments was when he realized that he could talk about anything with you, and you would listen- really, listen. he didn't even know how much he appreciated it in the moment, but he knew he felt so connected with you. and you, well... you can't help but just listen to him.

-+-+-+-

"...and it was considered a Chevelle at the time, when the Impala was just a Chevrolet. but, it was a B-body, so it was bigger than the Malibu, and way sturdier. anyways, they marketed the Malibu as a family-car back then, even though it's an A-body, and it could've easily sold as a sportier model instead with all the modifications they offered. i mean, the thing was a V8, and they didn't intend to advertise it as something classier than a family-car? with how lean that thing was?"

dean watched a documentary about Chevys in the 60's last night at the motel before going to sleep. he had many opinions on the information that he had caught up on.

"i mean, it's no Camero. which they were talkin’ bout…y’know they built that beast from scratch? the first model of the Camero in ‘66- well, it was a ‘67 but they made it in ‘66… it was from scratch. another reason why Chevy beats Ford any day- because Ford based their F-body on their previous car, the Falcon- then they made Mustangs from that model.”

the two of you were walking back from an interview you conducted about fifteen minutes ago. he had been talking about cars and Chevys and everything in between since he saw a Monte Carlo parked on the street near the interviewees’ residence. it was honestly the most excited you had seen him in a long time… just letting him ramble. and when you asked a question (because you inevitably had to when it started to sound like he was speaking a foreign language), he explained it to you happily, and with no connotations that you weren’t as knowledgeable as he was about the topic. when he explained, he’s really trying to teach you- not like a mechanic who’s telling you how to switch gears…dean wanted you to understand so you could respond with the same level of knowledge. and you couldn’t help but just let him do it. you wouldn’t retain any of this information, in fact, you were still confused, but you just wanted to let him speak about his interest. you don’t even recall hearing him talk about anything this in depth.

you lovingly watched his facial expressions as he chatted with a boyish enthusiasm, and you hadn't even realize you were smiling at him until he matched yours slightly, with a questioning grin, ”what?”

you shook off your starstruck gaze, and recovered quickly, “no, nothing…just, Mustangs aren’t cool anymore?”

he opens his mouth, his face tightening as he finds the right words to convey his opinion, “no, I mean...they’re ok. but,” he scoffs, “they’re just like toy cars, compared to Chevy. they aren’t durable. you run a Mustang over a speed bump too fast and it’ll fold up like a lawn chair, i swear-”

you giggle, soaking in everything he wants to say, and he just gleamed for the first time in a long time as he kept your ears hostage. it was the least you could ever do for him.

-+-+-+-

you had a feeling your connection was mutual after some time, thankfully. there were little mannerisms or hints here and there that you would remind yourself of in case you started to lose hope in a future with him. the chivalry you would write off as just dean being dean, but this comfortability he projected was for you specifically.

he couldn’t leave you alone. not just out of the whole protection thing either, but he just was drawn to your presence. even if you didn’t talk, he wanted to just be next to you.

-+-+-+-

you raised the eyeliner to your waterline in the reflection of the mirror, lightly drawing it on when you heard the motel door open.

“turns out all three victims were on the same community baseball team. the last victim,” he elaborated as he eventually made his way to lean against the bathroom door frame, “was a coach before. this is the third victim with any relation to the team, even though he wasn't actively coaching-" his face twisted into a grimace of concern as his eyes landed on you, "why are you putting a crayon in your eye."

you maintained your focus, proceeding to the other eye, "it's not in my eye. the waterline...is just really...close." your speech broke apart with your focus. you leaned back from the mirror as you fingered through your makeup bag for a couple other small touch-up items. "alright, so when are you taking me out to the ball game, winchester?"

he glances to his watch, "their practice starts in three hours."

"buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks?" you turned to him playfully.

"only if you promise not to care if we ever get back." he pointed a taunting finger in your direction.

you smirked as he completed your reference, and you put the eyeliner back in the bag. "sounds good, but in the meantime, i need to pick up a new formal outfit or two. i figure we're going as reporters? i need to find new blouses...one has this bloodstain from our last hunt and it just won't come out. i was gonna go take a walk down by the goodwill, it's two blocks down."

dean shrugged, "i'll drive you."

you were grateful for the offer and assured him anyway, "i can walk. no point in just driving me two minutes."

"i can just go with you."

you faced dean at his suggestion, and tried to analyze his expression. he didn't seemed annoyed by the prospect of going with you to shop. "you sure? i don't know how long i'll be."

he shrugged again, "as long as we make back for the practice, it doesn't really matter."

you ran your teeth over your bottom lip, trying to bite your growing smile away. "alright, give me ten minutes then."

"'kay." and that would've been dean's cue to go watch the tv, or get the car started...but he stayed leaning against the entrance, putting his hands in his jean pockets, his eyes aimlessly wandering. he inhaled, as he mindlessly watched your makeup routine.

"you wanna sit down?" you offered cheekily, pulling out concealer.

he pursed his lips, as he thought about it and ultimately decided to, but what you didn't expect was him to sit on the closed toilet seat lid and stay in the bathroom with you. you let out a small huff of laughter, that thankfully he didn't pick up on, as he drew a carefully hand into your makeup bag. he was quiet, reading through all the products you used. he went as far as opening some of the bottles, curiously examining your products. he would make comments about the hunt or about something relevant here and there, but really, he was just there to be with you. he finally stopped rummaging through your makeup with a disgruntled shove at the bag, glaring confusedly at it as he muttered, "you really don't need that much."

you chuckled, appreciating his sentiment as zipped up the bag, gesturing for him to follow you as you left the bathroom to head to the impala.

and his need to in your near vicinity didn't end there.

once you were in the goodwill, you had assumed he would find a men's section to look through, but he trailed right behind you like a puppy dog. you had a decency to show him some of the clothing pieces you were looking at, a penny for his thoughts. and while he wouldn't give you true dictations of your fashion choices, he did offer comments along the lines of "that's nice" or "it's okay". but he obviously wasn't here because he wanted to talk fashion with you, although, if you wanted to, you know he would try to his best to keep up.

-+-+-+-

it even got to the point where sam started to pick up on dean's sense of trust and vulnerability around you. which didn't surprise him at all after he got to know you. in fact, he adored you too, as a sibling. he was glad to see dean have a bond with someone at the same level as he was. and sam knew that there was something blossoming, but he would only lightly tease, he didn't want to scare you off with the idea, god forbid it wasn't ready to happen yet. but, he could tell that you loved him. and sam could without a doubt, tell that dean loved you.

there's a psychological tell when it comes to subconscious love. they say when you get tired around certain people, whether you know it or not, you feel safer around them.

-+-+-+-

it was a rather tranquil afternoon in yet another motel room, sam had dragged a chair over to face the tv while you and dean shared a queen bed, even though there were two of them in the room. the hunt from the previous day, or should you say, that morning, had run until about 5am, and you had begged the boys to just lounge until the evening, knowing they wanted to take off into the next hunt soon. they can't say no to you, so they opted to relax for a couple of hours to recuperate. dean lied with his arms folded across his chest, his head dipping lower into the pillows by the minute, as you sat just a bit higher than him, with one knee drawn in.

on the pathetic motel tv, Scream from '96 played as sam was still clacking on his laptop, searching for new hunts. you had been making a few jesting remarks towards the movie, and sam would raise a baffled brow.

"all i'm saying is, if he didn't kill me, and just hauntingly threatened me over the phone, i would be turned on by ghostface."

sam blinked at his computer screen, "you are all kinds of weird." he looked over his shoulder to find you deviously smiling, and did a double-take in your direction as he looked from dean to you, and he dropped his jaw a bit, "did he fall asleep?"

you craned your head down slightly to see dean's eyed now closed, breathing slow and relaxed, and his head even fell closer to where your arm was next to him. you pouted your lips at him slightly, smiling after, "he did."

sam scoffed, shaking his head, "he never takes naps when anyone is with him. he hardly naps when it's just me and him... he won't even with dad, and definitely not other people." he mused.

you blew him off, butterflies frantically flying in your stomach, "oh, i'm sure he's just tired from that hunt. we didn't get in til the early morning."

"yeah, but, dean has run on days without sleep. he could've stayed awake if he wanted to, even if he only got a couple of hours. it's just...funny, i guess." he meant "funny" as in "wow, i can't believe my brother who is always on guard from everyone, can finally let it down around someone".

you glanced to dean with an enamored smile once more, this time lingering a bit, as you listened to his deep breaths, and light snores, "we can leave after he's up. i'd feel horrible waking him now."

sam nodded, turning back to the tv, and he even lowered the volume some. even he felt more relaxed, knowing just how much dean was able to be comfortable around you. he grinned to himself, happy for his brother, and for you. his grin grew into an open smile when he turned around twenty minutes later to find you asleep as well, sunken down completely into the bed, and your head inches away from dean's shoulder. he grabbed a picture on his phone, and made a mental note to show this to you and dean when you both get out of your own heads.

-+-+-+-

while you knew you were definitely a special person in his life, this relationship did confuse you more often than not. he couldn't muster up the words to ask you out, or be his partner, but he had the audacity to be all touchy-feely with you in front of bobby.. and of course, if sam could see through you both, bobby could in a heartbeat. the only difference between sam and bobby, is that bobby wanted to just take dean by the shirt and shake him til he scrambled out the words "i love her". bobby saw their love right in front of them. but he knew better than to intervene, though he was okay with shamelessly hinting it towards you and dean when the other wasn't in ear shot.

-+-+-+-

you and the boys had been dealing with a hunt about two hours west of Sioux Falls, but dean had practically forced you to just help with research, and to stay behind at bobby's while your ankle healed from a recent sprain. bobby was no help in this case, insisting he could use the help around the house, but since it's been the two of you, all he's asked you to do was to go find a two beers in the fridge. and one of them wasn't even for him. he asked you to drink so you would, and quote, "stop wearin' a hole in the floor" and relax while they were gone.

though you did help bobby figure out how to change the hdmi on the tv.

sometime around 11:30pm, your cell had started ringing in your pocket as you woke from the siesta you were taking on the couch. you fumbled for it groggily, opening the flip phone to answer it, "hello?"

"hey," sam winced as he said your name, already knowing that you're not going to like the contents of the call.

"everything ok?" you heard it all in his tone of voice.

"yes and no. i got off easy, but dean's got a concussion. not bad enough for the hospital, but bad enough to where he needs to be on bed rest for a week, at least. just uh, wanted to let you know." sam said distractedly, as you assumed he was the one driving, too.

"oh, shit. is he ok?" you breathed worriedly.

"he's fine, or at least will be fine, soon. but, he is asking for you...i don't know if he remembers that we left you at bobby's." sam mentions, tugging slightly at your heart strings.

"jesus, well- hurry home. i'll help take care of- it." you fumbled for words before the two of you hung up.

bobby had been awake still, and you informed him on the call as you both prepped the couch and sat idle for their return. you didn't think dean would be able to make it to the guest room up the stairs just yet, so for now the living room was dimmed and had water bottles stocked close by, and had a trash can for... well, just in case.

you were outside waiting before you even heard the rumbling engine pull up to the front of the house. the car had barely been in park before you raced to the backseat, where dean had been lying on his back, his eyes squeezed closed a bit, and his breath ragged and shallow, with a large, blood stain that had dripped from his left temple, and wherever gravity had taken it, which had been on a few patchy spots by his ear all the way to his jaw. poor baby. bobby and sam were the ones to lug him out, with a lot of moaning and groaning from all three of them, while you made sure to hold the door open, and bring in some of their duffels from the car.

dean was carefully eased onto the couch, his chest now rising with careful, calculated deep breaths, while blowing air out of his mouth. he had moved painfully slow as he laid down on his right side, his eyes shut tight.

you quietly sat the bags from the car by the entrance, hurriedly making your way to the couch, interrupting sam and dean's hushed conversation.

"stay down, man." sam whispered to his brother, keeping a light hand on dean's shoulder as he fidgeted.

"she wasn't in th'car, sam." dean croaked, eyes still closed as he dug half his head into the pillow.

you stuck your lips out in an exaggerated frown, bending at the knees next to dean, you cooed softly, "hey, crazy...what happened?"

he peered through squinting eyes, groaning slightly before answering, "mmm. hit m'head." aside from his visible pain, he actually looked like he sunk deeper into the couch when you made yourself known.

you run your hand over the blood matted on his hair, and your finger tips came back tinted. dean inhaled sharply at the touch, his eyes pinched shut again.

"sorry...sorry." you moved your hand away, grimacing. you turned to behind you, "bobby, could you-"

"already on it." bobby eyed you two before walking to the kitchen, and returning with a bowl of water and a rag.

sam rubs his forehead, addressing you and bobby, "he threw up on the way here once...but that was about fifteen minutes after the hunt. he's been ok since...just, dizzy, nauseous, and a bit confused."

"if he throws up again tonight, ya might wanna consider takin' him in." bobby exhales, "otherwise, seems like he's all in one piece." bobby deduced.

as sam and bobby conversed, you had moved to sit at the edge of the couch by dean's torso, while you gingerly cleaned his head up. he would mumble incoherently in the pillow when you got close to the opening of the cut, but risked moving himself carefully so you were within is sight. "where were you?" he rasped.

"i was here the whole time, i swear. you know where you are?" you looked to him with care, checking his battered memory.

he opened one eye for a moment before everything started to spin again, "bobby's."

"yeah. good... we're at bobby's." you nodded, and internally sighed of relief.

sam sank into the loveseat a couple feet away, keeping near in case things started to take a turn for the worse, but he was well aware he could leave him with you while he got some rest. you were more than capable of keeping watch over him, and tending to him. it was just for sam's own satisfaction to see that he was alright, after being a bit startled by the initial injury.

you finished with wiping down his hair, brushing your fingers through the dampened spots on his head before pulling your hand away. he moaned at the immediate absence of your touch.

"sorry, i'm done, i promise." you soothed as you set the rag and bowl away from the couch.

"no," dean grumbled, "felt good...yr'hand."

oh.

you hesitantly brought your hand back to his head, just barely brushing the fingertips through his disheveled hair, avoiding his wound. dean sighed heavily, the pained lines in his brows slowly returning back to their resting state.

a sweet tightness wrapped around your heart. you kept up with the motion for an hour or two, even though you knew after a couple of minutes he had already passed out. sam started to crash too, falling asleep in the chair with his head propped up by the heel of his hand.

bobby had treaded in from downstairs after a while, walking over to sam, patting him awake, basically demanding him to go to the guestroom to properly rest. when he walked over to you, he caught on to what you're doing, and shook his head with a slight smile. before he could comment, you defended yourself, "he asked me to do this."

"mhm. how long has he been 'sleep for?" bobby smirked.

you couldn't deny the care for the young man, "a while."

bobby nods his head to the stairs, "why don't you and i take shifts... you go get some hours in, and i'll wake him up in a few to make sure doofus here still remembers he's in love with you."

you reddened at his statement, gaping your mouth slightly at his bluntness, "bobby-"

"get some rest, kiddo. he'll be alright." bobby echoed, warmly.

you sighed, looking to dean one last time for the night. you tried to stand up, but felt a tug on your shirt, accompanied by a pitiful, "no."

dean had curled a fist into your shirt, keeping you sitting next to him, as he kept his eyes closed still. you could hardly tell if he was lucid. you exchanged glances with bobby, before shrugging it off, "i got him, bobby. just make my coffee strong in the morning."

bobby frustratingly teased you before starting back upstairs, "you kids..."

you turned your gaze back down to dean, still holding your shirt in his hand. bravely, you took his hand and unraveled it from the fabric and just held it. dean blinked his eyes open carefully, risking a tender glance at you, "hey," he attempted to smirk.

"hey, you." you casted him concerned smile. "how's your head?"

"mmm...still hurts." he whinged. he gave you a once over, "where's the nurse-maid outfit?"

you rolled your eyes, brushing a thumb against his hand in your grasp. "bobby's trying it on now."

he groaned into the pillow, this time less out of throbbing pain but out of disgust, "this is not the heaven i imagined."

you huffed a quiet laugh, watching him almost squirm uncomfortably at the thought. "yeah, well...you aren't dead yet, mister."

"coulda fooled me...i've got an angel in front of me." he flattered.

you shake your head, turning away from him, but not yet letting go of his hand. "you're delirious."

"this is the most 'with it' i've been all night." he counters, huskily.

and once again, you are left in a buzzed, romantic silence. you couldn’t even find it in you to look at him, otherwise you might’ve just professed your love for him. "you should rest."

dean's eyelids fall closed gently, "staying?"

by then you turn back to him, "i can."

"you should."

your lips turn upwards, as he peeked through one eye, waiting for a response. "i shall." and you felt a squeeze back in your hand.

-+-+-+-

and some days you do think to yourself, "god, is he ever going to tell me he loves me?" some days you wonder if this is all a big game, or test. but it occurs to you in moments like these, that it's exactly what he's doing. he just screamed "i love you" from the top of his lungs, and you heard it. it would mean nothing to a lot of people, but you understand, and it means the world and then some to you. and he got it right back. he understands, too.

-+-+-+-

tags: MOODBOARD BY @ash-muses , @chevroletdean & Supernatural Writer's Community

[sailorsoons]

Giving Season (c.sc & l.c)

Pairing: Chan x Reader x Seungcheol

Summary: You always enjoy the office holiday party each year, especially when you get to do secret santa. This year, you enlist Seungcheol’s help to give Chan the perfect gift. 

Word Count: 5,632

Genre: PWP, Polyamorous, Established Relationship (Cheol x reader)

Type:  Smut

Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

Warnings: Just pure filth honestly. Fucking in an office when they totally should not be, mention of power dynamics in the sense that Seungcheol is both Chan and reader’s boss but they kind of skip around that even though Cheol explicitly makes sure to let Chan know it’s okay to reject, semi-public sex if you count the fact they’re in an office, implied but not explicit dom/sub dynamics with Seungcheol as the dominant and reader/Chan as the more submissives, oral (f. receiving) and vaginal fingering, pussy drunk Chan, spitting, multiple orgasms, a little bit of overstimulation, some hair pulling, biting, a lot of heavy kissing and making out, it is a light threesome - this is mostly reader and Chan with Seuncheol very involved in instruction/kissing/touching them. 

A/N: This was originally posted as a request fill for @daechwitatamic and as a belated birthday gift back in December. I love you Mojo Jojo Dojo Siwa Casa House

A/N 2: THIS IS UNEDITED BECAUSE I’M THE GRINCH AND I DON’T WANNA BETA READ MY OWN STUFF. SPELL CHECK WILL HAVE TO DO FOR RIGHT NOW. 

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Nervousness creeps up as you watch Chan open up his gift, eyes zeroed in on the way his deft fingers peel back the wrapping paper carefully. Chan is always so careful, his touch delicate and precise, sliding his fingers under the seam of the paper to pry it open without ripping anything. 

Holiday music plays loudly over the speakers on someone’s desk. Everyone talks and sips on drinks, gathered around the conference room table as Chan finishes opening his git, shedding the wrapping paper. He’s already grinning, lower lip tucked between his teeth as he shakes his head, red creeping up the side of his neck. 

You try not to react, pleased to see that he likes the stack of limited edition books you’ve gifted him. He runs his fingers over the decorated edges, just as careful not to damage them as he was with the wrapping paper. You squirm in your seat, sipping more champagne to quell the dryness in your throat and give you more liquid courage. 

Someone places a hand on your shoulder and you spare a glance upward, though by the scent of the heady cologne you already know it’s Seungcheol. He’s watching Chan with a smirk, his dark hair pushed out of his face and his glasses sliding a little down his nose as he watches Chan look around the table, flushed and pleased. 

“This is way over the purchase limit,” he laughs, scratching the back of his neck and shaking his head. Mingyu lets out an impressed noise, leaning over to see the books and ask what they are. “They’re a limited edition and signed copy of my favorite fantasy series.” 

“Damn, someone likes you,” Mingyu mutters, sipping his beer. “Time to guess.” 

Chan’s eyes flicker to you. You hold your breath, your pulse thumping in your throat as you try not to avert your eyes. Chan’s eyes drift upward to Seungcheol, who you can feel is equally amused. There’s indecision on Chan’s face, his fingers drumming atop the stack of books. 

“Come on,” Mingyu urges. “Guess.”

Chan’s eyes return to you. Back to Seungcheol. Then to you again. You grin, watching as he tries to work out which one of you bought them. You’re the only person in the office who would know how much he valued that specific book series, but Seungcheol is the only one in the office who makes overspending and spoiling his employees a habit. 

Especially Chan. 

“Fuck, it’s hard,” he admits, gaze settling on Seungcheol, finally. “You, boss?” 

Seungcheol chuckles, the motion of it shaking the back of your chair. You can feel his thumb brushing back and forth on your shoulder, soothing and warm. It feels nice, the champagne turning his touch molten. 

“Nope,” Seungcheol answers, popping the ‘p’ sharply at the end. “Sorry, Channie.” 

Chan’s blush intensifies as he drops his gaze, shaking his head. He cradles the books close to him, possessive. He spares you a glance when he says, “Whoever bought these is far too nice of a santa. I don’t deserve this.” 

He does deserve it. Chan is the youngest member of your company and by far the hardest working and the sweetest. Over the last two years, you’ve watched him grow from the shy, nervous junior employee to a full time member of the staff who is… still shy, but a little more confident in his work with an incredible mindset. 

Sure, your opinion of him is a little bit biased. Chan is your work husband, the person you’re closest to and who you can always go to when you need to vent about Mingyu fucking up your spreadsheets or for help when you have a last minute firedrill to solve. 

Despite, of course, your actual boyfriend being a few yards away in his executive office. 

Seungcheol doesn’t mind that Chan is your work husband. In fact, he adores it, teasing you when you get shy after vehemently praising Chan during a meeting or nominating him to take more responsibility to prove himself. He likes that Chan has you to take care of him, to lead him through the corporate world when Seungcheol is too buried underneath meetings and paperwork to do so. 

Someone else starts opening a gift, but your eyes are reserved for Chan. You lean into Seungcheol’s touch, eyes fluttering when his hand moves from your shoulder to the back of your neck. His grip is firm, kneading the muscles along the back of your neck until you’re melting. Your grip tightens on the flute of champagne a little, the plastic nearly cracking under your grip. 

When secret santa has finished, you stand up to help gather the leftover wrapping paper. Coworkers filter out into the main office, turning up the music and dancing around the cubicles as another bottle is popped. You help shove wrapping paper into a trash bag with Joshua, feeling a little dizzy and warm from the bubbles. 

A hand on your lower back makes you straighten. Seungcheol leans down, mouth brushing against your ear when he murmurs, “Go wait in my office. I’ll bring Chan in for his real gift.” 

Your stomach flips at that. You glance at Joshua to see if he notices, but there is nothing to notice. Everyone knows that you and Seungcheol are together - you’ve been dating for five years. He limits his affection in the office, but it's not uncommon for him to press a quick kiss to your head or leave his hand lingering on you for too long. 

Clearing your throat, you nod and let Seungcheol take over balling up the wrapping paper. You’re not drunk but you feel the buzz of champagne and excitement as you hurry toward Seungcheol’s office at the far end, away from where everyone has gathered around Soonyoung’s cubicle to take shots. 

Inside of Seungcheol’s office is dark. The blinds are shuttered so no one can see from the main bullpen inward. Lights glitter beyond the floor to ceiling windows, the city awash in color underneath the light sky, giving the illusion that the world is blanketed in Christmas lights. 

A heavy desk sits in the far side of the room with towering bookshelves behind it. Seungcheol’s monitor is off and his leather chair is pushed into the desk. In front of the desk is a sitting area, equipped with a full leather sofa, glass coffee table, and two arm chairs. 

You go for the sofa, hands shaking as you sit down, pressing the hem of your skirt down your thighs. Swallowing thickly, your eyes dart toward the door when you hear the volume of singing suddenly increase out in the main office. You grin, shaking your head when you realize it’s because Seungkwan has figured out how to use his portable karaoke machine gifted to him by Jeonghan. 

Shadows pass by the window. You stiffen, leaning forward and placing your hands in your lap when Seungcheol opens the door, letting Chan enter first before he slips in after, flipping the lock. Chan immediately stops in his tracks, looking at you before his eyes dart back to Seungcheol. 

Your heart races, watching carefully as Seungcheol starts to undo his tie, slipping a finger underneath the knot to pull it, walking toward you. The action hypnotizes you, your attention solely on him as he finishes undoing it, tossing it onto an armchair before his fingers work the topmost button of his shirt loose.

He sees the nervous look on your face and he wings, his grin lopsided as he rounds the couch to stand behind you. 

“Take a seat,” Seungcheol tells Chan, his hand landing on your shoulder. You react instantly, leaning into the warmth of his hand, nuzzling his forearm a bit. Chan follows Seungcheol’s instructions, his steps slow and full of trepidation. “We don’t bite, Channie.” 

You huff and Seungcheol chuckles darkly in response, amending, “Usually.” 

Chan is the picture of anxiety, wringing his hands in his lap and looking up at Seungcheol through his glasses with wide eyes. His gaze darts to you only for a second before he licks his lips and looks back up at Seungcheol, shifting back and forth in the armchair as he watches the elder. 

“Relax,” Seungcheol laughs. “You’re not in trouble. I told you she had a second part to her gift.”

“The first one is too much,” Chan drops his gaze to you. He picks at his cuticles, showing he’s as nervous as you feel. “You shouldn’t have. The rules were no more than fifty dollars.”

“It was too good not to.” He softens. “I wanted you to have it.”

“You deserve it,” Seungcheol agrees. His hand massages your shoulder, fingers brushing across your skin. You shiver under his touch, watching Chan as his eyes zero in on where Seungcheol’s hand is on your neck. He licks his lips, shifting. “That’s not the only thing she wanted to give you, though.” 

Chan chews his bottom lip. You feel skittish, twisting your fingers in the hem of your dress. You and Seungcheol had broached this subject several times before, though this is the first time you’re committing to voicing your thoughts to Chan. 

Suddenly faced with having to give him your proposition, you’re terrified. What if he says no? Worse, what if you upset him or make him uncomfortable? It’s a huge risk, what you’re asking, especially with the position that Seungcheol is in as your boss. 

The weight of how bad of an idea this is hits you fully. You open and close your mouth, unable to voice your offer to him, the question dying on your tongue.

Seungcheol’s fingers are still on your shoulder. He leans down, tilting forward to catch your gaze with his. His eyes are dark and calm, a cool lake undisturbed by anything, a constant you can always look to when you’re afraid to do something. You root yourself in his gaze, letting his proximity wash over you, comforting. 

Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself this question isn’t coming out of nowhere. Neither you nor Seungcheol would bring Chan here to the office in the dark, away from everyone else if you weren’t borderline positive what his answer would be. 

“I wanted to um…” Your voice is hoarse, cracking with nervousness. You swallow, dropping your eyes into your lap, feeling both of their gazes. “Jeonghan said you kind of had a crush on us.” 

You peek up at Chan to find him white in the face. His mouth parts in horror and you realize this isn’t going the way you planned, your nervousness driving you to the wrong path. 

Seungcheol sees it too, giving you a gentle squeeze and telling Chan, “What she means, but is very bad at saying because she’s nervous, is that she wanted to give you a taste.” 

Silence hangs heavy in the air. Outside of Seungcheol’s office, you hear Mingyu singing All I Want for Christmas Is You. It feels apt, both you and Seungcheol staring at Chan as he looks back at both of you, mouth parted in surprise, chest rising and falling with how heavy he’s breathing now.

“I don’t… understand,” he says finally, addressing Seungcheol. 

“I think you do.” Chan starts to shake his head and Seungcheol tsks, sending a lick of heat down to your core. You know that voice better than anything, and the sound of it turns the air heady. “You can say no. This is the worst place possible for us to be offering this to you and I understand the implications of it coming from… well me. You’re under no obligation and we can go on pretending it didn’t happen.” 

“Jeonghan didn’t mean to tell me.” you tell Chan. “But when he did… I wasn’t mad. I told Cheol and he was pleased to.” You look up at Seungcheol, who smiles at you affectionately. His hand drifts to the back of your head, cradling it carefully. “He likes you too. And me - I like you.” 

“You like me?”��

You nod eagerly as Seungcheol grips your head and faces you back toward Chan. “So I was thinking… you could have an extra gift. If you wanted it. To see if you liked it.” 

“And what does… a taste involve?” Chan asks the question softly, his eyes flickering between you and Seungcheol. “Help me understand better.” 

“Her,” Seungcheol answers. “Whatever you want.” He pauses and smirks, adding, “You’re not ready for me. So just her… for now, if you want.”

Multiple emotions flit past Chan’s face. Confusion. Fear. Indecision. Anxiety. Desire. 

You see the desire there, the way he settles his eyes on you, dark and swimming with want. He doesn’t move, the silence filling the room as Seungcheol let’s Chan choose. You feel your own desire welling up inside of you, a shy and skittish thing that is perhaps too breakable to be offering this way. 

Chan is your mirror. You can see yourself in him, the want that lurks beneath a shallow surface, a fragile thing that he wants to handle but is too afraid that it’ll shatter. You lift a hand from your lap, reaching forward, palm up. Reaching for Chan, reaching for the thread that connected you since the first day he started. 

Your hand wavers there for a second, an invitation, a moment of vulnerability. Just when you think he’s going to reject you, Chan surges forward slowly, extending his hand toward yours. A smile lights up your face, growing even wider when his fingers tentatively skate over yours, rough and unsure. 

Tugging on him gently, you urge Chan from the armchair toward the couch. He’s like a frightened animal, eyes darting toward Seungcheol like he might intervene when he sits next to you, close enough to smell his juniper cologne but farther than you want him to be. 

Seungcheol lets go of your shoulder, walking around the opposite side of the couch. Chan looks at Seungcheol, alarm on his face. The elder chuckles roughly, sitting on your other side a little ways away and murmuring, “Relax, Channie. I’m just sitting down.” 

To further ease his anxiety, you pull Chan’s hand into your lap, lacing your fingers and squeezing. He looks at your linked fingers, marveling at them. It takes him a moment, but he squeezes your hand in return. 

“Can you look at me?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper. 

He does. Chan finally looks at you, gaze raw and burning. Your toes curl when you see the amount of want there, the way his need is right on the surface, simmering. His eyes trace your features, scanning your face to the curve of your neck, dipping lower, lips parted as he drinks you in full. 

“What… What now?” He asks, dragging his eyes back up to yours. 

“Try kissing her.” Seungcheol leans back behind you, supervising. His voice is gentle and coaxing. “She likes kissing.” 

Chan looks at you, asking for permission. You smile, nodding eagerly as you tug on his hand. He obeys, sliding closer to you, thigh pressed against yours. Even through the fabric of his pants, you can feel the heat of his leg wash through you, intoxicating. 

He leans in slowly, his eyes darting toward your mouth as he does. You meet him halfway, breath shaking as you softly press your lips against his. His lips are soft and tentative, nose brushing yours gently. You sigh, leaning into the kiss, making it a little firmer. 

It’s innocent, but you feel the way his fingers tighten in yours, a gentle sound stuck in the back of his throat. You pull away slightly, lashes fluttering open to peer at him. You see your half-lidded eyes in the reflection of his glasses until he opens his eyes.

The urge to have him grows tenfold. Chan’s pupils are blown, the hungry look in his eye raw and real. It makes you surge forward, kissing him for real, letting the hunger for him channel through your mouth. He makes a sound low in the back of his throat, desperate and whiny as you school closer, leg looping over his to keep him in place. 

Letting go of his hand, you bring it up to his face, threading your fingers through his hair. His mouth is warm and wet as he kisses you slowly, tasting of champagne and the frosting of the cupcake he had earlier - sweet, just like him. 

Kissing Chan is unlike kissing Seungcheol. Chan is sweet and slow, running his tongue against the seam of your mouth tentatively while his hands go to your thighs, barely giving you a squeeze. Seungcheol’s kisses are demanding and all consuming, bruising your lips as he swallows you whole. 

Parting, Chan kisses the corner of your mouth, hesitating and glancing over your shoulder where he can no doubt see Seungcheol. Seungcheol must reassure him, because Chan smirks and leans forward, pressing open-mouthed kisses on your jaw. 

Your head falls back, lips parted. His tongue is rough against your skin as he tastes you, a mix of tongue and teeth working toward your neck. Your fingers twist in his hair, blunt nails scraping at his scalp and making him groan quietly. 

“She likes when you bite her a little,” Seungcheol supplies from behind you. You feel the couch shift as he moves closer, his warmth radiating toward you as he settles directly behind you. His voice makes you shiver when he says, “Right under her ear - yeah like that.” 

Chan’s teeth nip at the soft flesh under your ear and you keen, melting at his touch. He grows more confident at the sound, his hands drifting to your waist, squeezing and holding you tight. You lean backward into the heat of Seungcheol, trapped between the two of them. 

It makes you dizzy. Seungcheol is firm behind you, keeping you pressed toward Chan, who is kissing his way to your shoulder, eager for more of you. One of his hands runs up your side, sliding up your arm until it settles on the side of your neck, his fingers gently pulling you to give more access. 

You keen and Seungcheol laughs behind you, muttering, “Hear the little sounds she makes? She loves when you touch her neck.” 

“Mmmm.” Chan presses kisses to the tops of your shoulders, looking up at you through his glasses. “What else does she like?” 

“If you want to see her come apart, eat her out.” Chan moans, burying his face in your neck. You shiver, feeling his hot breath against your spit-slick skin. “Yeah?” Seungcheol laughs. “Dying to taste her, huh?” 

“Fuck,” Chan whispers. He lifts his head from your neck, breathing ragged as he looks at you, cradling your face in his hands. 

You look up at him through your lashes, dazed. He looks so good in the dim light of Seungcheol’s office, his hair a little disheveled, glasses a little eskew. 

“Do you want that?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper. His thumb brushes back and forth across your jaw, pausing to brush along the corner of your lip. You nod eagerly, unable to find the words and tell him that is exactly what you want. “Fuck. Yeah. Okay.” 

Chan sinks to the ground. Seungcheol plants his foot against the coffee table, pushing it back slowly to give Chan room. The younger looks up at you reverently and you feel your breath catch, watching as Chan settles on his knees, hands reaching to brush gently up your calves.

His touch is like fire. It feels too hot in Seungcheol’s office, sweat collecting on the back of your neck and along your hairline. You squeeze your thighs together at Chan’s gentle touch and he grins up at you, keeping his fingers feather light and teasing as he skims them up your thighs toward your dress. 

Seungcheol leans you against him, pressing his lips to the side of your temple. Chan leans forward, placing an open mouth kiss on your knee. You twitch, knee nearly knocking him in the face. Seungcheol admonishes you softly, reaching down to pry your right leg open and drape it over his, resting his arm over your knee to keep you pried open.

Chan’s hands continue to caress your skin, the drag of his fingers driving you wild. You stare down at him, panting slightly as he looks up at you. He maintains eye contact as he drags his mouth to kiss your inner thigh, watching as you react with a sigh. 

He moves his mouth upward slowly, each kiss firm but gentle, his lips blazing a trail upward. You feel your core ache for him, a hot, throbbing need that makes you whine a little bit, shifting in Seungcheol’s grip. 

Chan pauses but Seungcheol promises, “She’s fine. She’s very needy.” 

A grin splits Chan’s face as he presses another kiss to the softness of your thigh, followed by biting gently. That gets a reaction out of you, your hips twitching upward and your hands shooting to grip the couch with one hand and Seungcheol’s forearm with the other. 

“She loves when you start slow,” Seungcheol murmurs. Chan nods, taking his elder’s guidance in step. His hands creep toward the hem of your dress, hesitating. “Go ahead.” 

Your breath gets stuck in your throat when Chan pushes the hem of your dress upward. The newly exposed skin feels cold in Seungcheol’s darkened office. Chan bunches the fabric at your hips and Seungcheol reaches around the back of your waist to hold it in place. 

With one hand on your spread knee and the other locked around your waist, Seungcheol has you pinned. The thought makes your eyes flutter, head tilting back as you watch Chan drink you in, his eyes dropping to the lacy underwear.

His mouth resumes its curious travel, kissing the tops of your thighs as his fingers brush the edges of your underwear. You let out a breathy whine and he smiles but doesn’t stop this time, teasing the crease of your thighs with his devilish finger while he gives a harsh suck to your skin. 

Chan rests his chin atop your thigh, eyes focusing on the wet patch of your under. He dips a hand between your legs, pressing the flat of his thumb against the dark spot on the fabric. You give a high pitched whine, fidgeting in Seungcheol’s grip. Chan grins, wiggling his thumb back and forth a little to apply pressure to your clit.

It is heaven. It is hell. Chan’s eyes drift back and forth from where he teases you to your face, unable to decide which he likes watching more. Seungcheol watches him with a smirk, his hold on you like iron, hot breath fanning your ear as he whispers for you to behave for Chan. 

You want to. You want to more than anything else right now, completely forgetting about the party going on outside the office, forgetting the way you’d been afraid to ask Chan if he wants this, forgetting anything else but the look in Chan’s eyes as he hooks his fingers in your underwear and pulls them down.

Lacy fabric scrapes down your skin slow-soft. It is delicious torture. Chan handles you like you’re something precious, something to be loved and treated with care. Your thoughts turn to static, totally hypnotized by the way he peels your underwear from your legs and tosses them somewhere else. His eyes are half-lidded as he stares at your glistening cunt, groaning low in the back of his throat at what he sees. 

Chan slides his hands under your thighs, dragging you toward him a little. Seungcheol helps, peppering your face with butterfly-soft kisses as he slides you down the couch. You’re nearly folded in half as Seungcheol adjusts himself so that he’s sitting behind you with you between his legs. He grabs your thighs, hooking them on the outer edges of his knees to keep you open for Chan, who slides closer, licking his lips. 

“Look how wet she is for you,” Seungcheol purrs. You glance up at him. His dark eyes are focused on Chan, mouth twitching in a smirk. “Start slow. She likes you to build up to it.” 

Chan glances at Seungcheol and nods before his eyes fall to you. Dark. Hungry. Wanting. To see your deepest desire reflected in Chan’s eyes makes you insane. You’d only guessed at his affection for you and Seungcheol, but the fierceness of it drives you wild. 

So does his mouth. Chan drags his mouth up your thighs, kissing delicately. You hold your breath, fixated on him as he audibly plants another kiss before he moves to your center, hesitating. You try not to squirm and move closer, try not to force yourself on his mouth.

He can tell. He gives you a cock grin, letting out a huff before dipping forward, running his tongue up your center and oh oh oh. Your head falls back against Seungcheol’s shoulder, breath locked in your chest. Chan’s tongue is warm and wet, sliding up and down your pussy at a leisurely pace.

Then he moans. Your fingers dig into Seungcheol’s thighs, making him hiss. He hooks his chin on your shoulder, watching as Chan’s tongue circles your aching clit slowly before dipping back down. 

You’re burning, melting, disintegrating. Pleasure ripples through you when Chan dips his tongue tentatively into your clenching hole. That earns a loud moan from you. Seungcheol quickly hushes you, reminding you that you can’t be loud with a harsh whisper. 

A whimper falls from your lips. Chan grunts, closing his eyes as he fastens his mouth to your cunt, suckling gently. You throb under his mouth. He looks up at you, eyes misty as he flicks his tongue back and forth over your clit. 

“Like that,” Seungcheol encourages when you thrash. “She likes it kind of messy too - spit on it.” 

Chan is obedient. He dips his tongue into your cunt, gathering arousal before he lifts his mouth, smeared in your slick, and spits directly on your pussy. You let out a loud sound that is cut off by Seungcheol’s mouth on yours, stealing you in a devouring kiss. 

One hand shoots to Seungcheol’s forearm to cling to him, the other to Chan’s hair when he reattaches his mouth. He moans audibly against you, the sound buzzing right through you to the pit of your stomach. He redoubles his effort, licking and sucking at you vigorously now to match the pace of Seungcheol’s tongue. 

They both swallow you whole. It’s overwhelming the best way, Seungcheol pressing you into his chest as he steals the breath from your lungs, Chan pressing your legs further apart as he buries his face between your legs, little sounds of pleasure dripping from his mouth as he loses himself in you. 

Seungcheol parts with you for a moment, lips swollen and pink as he looks down at Chan and grins. He reaches down, running his fingers through Chan’s hair gently, making the younger groan. 

“Look at him,” Seungcheol coos. “He’s been dying to taste you, huh Chan?” 

“Mhmm.” Chan licks a hard stripe from top to bottom. “So fucking good.”

“Tell him how good he’s doing baby,” Seungcheol whispers, pressing his mouth to your ear. “He’s working so hard for you.” 

“Feels so good,” you gasp as Chan sucks your clit hard. You thrash in Seungcheol’s lap but he holds you still. Chan pins you down too, fingers gripping your thighs as he gets greedier, flattening his tongue and whipping his head back and forth. “Fuck fuck fuck - Chan.” 

“Just like that, Chan.” Seungcheol keeps running his fingers through Chan’s hair affectionately. “She’s gonna come for you, right baby?” 

All you can manage is a nod. You’re beyond the capacity for words, feeling your orgasm twist low in your stomach as Chan works your toward its peak. It feels like he drags you there screaming, the pressure building as he keeps going and going and going-

You break. Seungcheol’s hand clamps over your mouth and you cry through his palm, hips twitching and legs straining against both of their hands as you cum hard. Chan doesn’t care, pressing even further, drinking you in as your clit pulses in his mouth. 

When you quiet down, Seungcheol lets go of your mouth, hushing you with soft kisses as you whimper. Chan’s tongue busies itself as he leisurely licks your thighs, catching stray drops of arousal. You sag against your boyfriend, panting. He rubs his hands up and down your aching thighs. 

“More,” Chan murmurs, words a little slurred as he presses a sloppy kiss to your thigh. He inches closer to your messy folds, hesitating. “Can you take more? Please tell me you can.”

You nod and Seungcheol hums, pleased. “She can.” 

Looking between your legs, you watch as Chan grabs his glasses and rips them off his face, tossing them somewhere behind him. Your stomach flips at the site, lips parted and gasping when he dives back in, fucking you with his tongue. 

“Shit,” you squeak, hands flying to his hair, wrapping your fingers in his locks and twisting. He doesn’t mind the sting, too focused on you. “Oh my god.”

Seungcheol chuckles darkly. “Fuck, he’s hot. Use your fingers, Channie.” 

Nodding eagerly, Chan complies. He’s eager to comply, bringing a hand up between your legs. You hiss when he slides a finger in, the glide easy from your first orgasm. He removes his mouth from you, panting and lips swollen as his eyes focus on where he gently fucks you with his finger. 

“Another,” Seungcheol recommends. 

Chan does. He slides another finger in, tilting his wrist so that they brush just right. You moan his name, throaty and worn. Chan hums happily, kissing his way back up to your clit where he wraps his lips, sucking gently as he sets a slow pace with his fingers. 

It only lasts for a few moments before his pace increases, feeling the way you squeeze tight around him, hearing the way your breath turns shaky and uneven, watching the way you continue to grow slick with sweat. 

He fixates on your face, sucking at you hungrily in time with his fingers, driving you toward another release. Seungcheol’s mouth finds your jaw, teeth nipping and tongue soothing. Again you’re pulled between the two of them, feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed by their mouths.

“I’m gonna,” You gasp, shaking in their grip. They both can tell. Seungcheol bites your neck a little harder, sucking the soft skin between his teeth. Chan turns ravenous, nearly folding you in half as he pushes into you, the wet sounds from his mouth bracketed by your heavy breathing. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

Every muscle in your body squeezes with the force of your orgasm. You can’t breathe, stars exploding behind squeezed-shut lids, breath stuck in squeezed-tight lungs. You’re barely able to hear Seungcheol murmuring in your ear, only able to hear the high-pitched ringing as you hit the top of your high, suspended for a moment before you start to come down.

You go boneless against Seungcheol. You feel spent, sucking in breaths of air while Seungcheol rubs his hands up and down your arms and Chan presses butterfly-soft kisses to your inner thighs, his hands rubbing your calves. 

The three of you stay there like that for a bit, quiet in the dark of Seungcheol’s office with the distant singing of your coworkers. You feel a bit floaty and dreamy, stuck somewhere between nearly asleep and happily present. 

Chan shifts and you drop your eyes to him, seeing him looking around, a little unsure what to do. You and Seungcheol notice at the same time, both of you extending a hand to him. Chan’s smile is shy and tentative, taking both of your hands and letting you pull him to his feet to collapse on the couch next to you.

Immediately you squirm toward him, half falling out of Seungcheol’s lap to fall against Chan’s shoulder. He laughs, lifting his arms and hesitating for a second before he wraps them around you. His lips are pink and swollen, still covered in your arousal. 

“That,” you sigh. “Was better than I imagined.”

“You imagined it, though?” he asks, glancing at Seungcheol. “Both of you?”

“Mhmm.” Seungcheol leans forward and presses a kiss to the corner of Chan’s mouth, pink tongue darting out playfully. “Mmm. She tastes good.” 

Pink creeps up Chan’s neck and flushes his face. Seungcheol grins and you can tell he’s just as smitten as you, leaning his head against the back of the couch to watch Chan settle down. He drags his fingers in patterns on your arm, eyes losing focus. 

“Was this just for tonight?” Chan asks. There’s a note in his voice that makes you look up at him. You can tell he’s unsure, a little nervous. “Just for giving season or whatever?” 

Your voice is raspy with disuse. “Not if you don’t want it to be. Cheolie and I like you.” 

“Really?”

You lift a hand, brushing strands of hair back into his damp hairline. “Mhm. We want to keep you, if you’ll have us.” 

Chan chews on his bottom lip, contemplating. Seungcheol watches in silence, but you can tell by the way his fingers drum on your thigh that he’s nervous. He might exude calm and confident most of the time, but you know he hopes Chan will say yes - that he’s desperate for it. 

“I think I like that,” Chan says slowly, looking at you both. “I would like that, yeah.” 

Seungcheol grins, closing his eyes as he reaches over and runs a hand through Chan’s hair. “Good. Also - it’s always giving season at our house. So buckle up, Channie.” 

PERMANENT TAG LIST:

@ddaddunugu @ourkivee @tie-nn @cookiearmy @thesunsfullmoon @stray-bi-kids @ldysmfrst @thepoopdokyeomtouched @eoieopda @onlywon4u @hopeless-foolery @iamawkwardandshy @gyuguys @codeinebelle @ateez-atiny380 @bultaereume @yoongznme @kaitieskidmore97 @coffee-addict-kitten @gyubakeries @archivistworld @asyre @kaepjjangiya @fancypeacepersona @beckyloveshannie @imujings @do-you-remember-summer-127 @jbluen @mingumis @kimsaerom

[deepinthegroves]

. ݁₊ ✶ MY MHA DR . ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗

Kayama Hiromi, niece of Midnight, aspiring hero-in-training. She has known Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku since they were young, and constantly intervenes whenever Katsuki decides to bully Izuku, much to the former's irritation. Despite that fact, he is still friends with her, and they train together religiously, both striving for the #1 hero spot.

Throughout the years, Hiromi has honed her quirk, Zoomorphosis, and can use it efficiently. She passed the entrance exam easily, and was admitted into Class 1A. There she meets her old friends – including Izuku, much to her surprise – and made some new ones, growing especially close with Sero Hanta. The two of them bonded over their shared love of Spiderman, becoming fast friends.

quirk summary:

Zoomorphosis allows its user to morph their body into an animal's, taking upon desired traits and abilities. It is a transformation type quirk, and requires its user to have the comprehensive knowledge of the animal beforehand in order for the body to shift to that form (e.g. how claws are formed, how canines would elongate). Not only that, if it is the first time the user tries to shift, intense visualisation and focus is required, for an incomplete shift may occur.

Extra practice is required for the user to transform partially, but all transformations are stored via muscle memory, and can be activated at a moment's notice when done right.

When Zoomorphosis is used over a long period of time, there may be a buildup of animal hormones in the body, causing the user to be stuck in a semi-transformed form till the hormones have been metabolised. some instances include: wings not retracting, the lower half of the face stuck as a snout, patches of skin stuck as animal hide.

most notable usages of Zoomorphosis are:

Hiromi using crocodile skin to withstand Katsuki's explosions while sparring;

Hiromi using scorpion book lungs to avoid breathing in Midnight's sleeping gas

Hiromi adapting the glands of her wrist to shoot out spiderwebs

(some) changes i've made to canon:

note: i have ditched canon almost completely and just kept what i like. i have only watched mha till season 6, and could only sit all the way till around season 4-5 when i rewatched it – i couldn't put myself through watching everything after. honestly, i'd rather watch a whole season of filler episodes when it comes to mha. i AM kinda aware of what happens in the epilogue though.

revised some deaths... (e.g. toga, tenko, touya/ dabi, MIDNIGHT, maybe twice, etc.)

changed hero rankings... (mr. bakugou katsuki is the #1 hero, followed be me, shoto, etc.)

make it a LOT less depressing... (basically whole arcs are taken away, and that includes a lot of the violent and (in my words) 'depressing' plotlines.)

changed villains' backstories and endings... (e.g. dabi isn't dead/ in a coma and though the physical damage done to endeavour is still the same, he has also lost the respect and admiration from the public and his team, etc. and he is now forced to rely on whatever money he had from before to support himself – like paying for a caretaker – because i am NOT sentencing rei to that)

and a lot more. (canon is so mangled at this point, just consider this an au (which it technically is LMAO))

notes: this is like a brief intro – i doubt i'll expand on this one a lot here but my script's been ready since 2022-2023 so here! i scripted out mineta and took his place in class 1A. though i know some people keep him around for comic relief, just watching him in the show makes me super uncomfortable. while yes, i can script that away too, it feels weird keeping someone who is basically an author self-insert (on mineta's page, horikoshi self-proclaims himself a "pervert" and basically said as such [my interpretation]) made to creep on his female characters.

divider credits: @/strangergraphics

[nocturn-warrior]

Ne t'enfuis pas

Adrian Ţepeş x reader

Summary: You are his first love reincarnated and after 300 years, you finally meet again.

Rating: fluff, hurt, comfort

Warnings: mentions of death, grief, Nocturn season 2 spoilers!!!

Nmed after Kate Bush's Ne T'enfuis Pas. This is heavily inspired in Bram Stoker's Dracula by Coppola and mayyybe Nosferatu by Eggers <3 It's been so long since i've written, i am honestly rusty. Sorry for taking so long with this one.

The water in the pond behind the chateau reflects the light of the crescent pale moonlight above your head. It is the first time in weeks since you could go outside after the sunset without worrying about getting your neck attacked by a servant of the Bloody Countess or a night creature. Small tadpoles swim around, feeding on bugs that have the misfortune of falling in the pond and you watch them idly and with a childlike curiosity. You didn’t want to ruminate at that moment, you wanted to think that everything was going to be fine. 

Still, your unquiet mind couldn’t rest. The scene of the tadpole rapidly consuming the bug reminds you of your own thoughts consuming you. The dreams you’ve had before his arrival; a dark castle with infinite stairs, forests that you’ve never explored, and flashes of scenes flooding your mind every time he is near that feel so much more real than a mere dejavú. But how could you ever put this into words?

Smooth steps are heard padding against the grass and you softly gasp when you see the tall, pale man coming to the spot you are sitting on. His amber eyes glow like the ones of a cat in a dark night as he walks in the shadow announcing his not fully human nature. 

“They are beheading the last one of the day. Won’t you like to see the show?”

Alucard asks with sarcasm, sitting on the opposite side of the pond in a pompous swish. The city's in ruins, but the people are executioning the aristocrats who stood in the side of the vampires during the attack. You don’t answer his question. In fact, the two of you stay in silence for a while, but now and then you peek through the fountain to see if he is still in there and he is perfectly immobile like a beautiful statue in the garden, except for his flouncy hair tousled by the soft breeze. In one of those moments of curiosity, your gazes meet and it feels intense as a lightning hitting your body, Alucard could see your hair standing on end.

“Although I think they should pay for what they did, I don't see the point of gathering in the town to see bloodshed. I’ve seen enough of this in the last few days.”

You answer in an awkward way and twirl your finger around the water, making the tadpoles hide behind a rock to dismiss the feeling that goes beyond embarrassment. Alucard narrows his eyes, cautiously watching your expression, wondering if approaching you now was the right choice. But how long could he keep this to himself? If there is something Alucard learned during these wandering 300 years is that human life is feeble as a crystal, that he’ll see his pals one by one perish to the fog of time. Leaving it be, ignoring the signals would spare him from the very known feeling of grief. Still, there you are. With another appearance, voice and name, yet eyes are the windows of the soul, they say, and Alucard lived enough to know that this might be true. And since yours met during the Eclipse, he knew that calling coming from overseas was not only his duty of destroying Sekhmet’s mummy. He was drawn to your presence like a boat to a lighthouse.

“May i?”

He asks before sitting on the same side as you on the pond, so pale that he seems to emanate his own light and reflect in the pond along with the moon. You nod and he graciously settles himself some palms away not wanting to be invasive, minutely investigating the possibilities and to what paths would they guide him. Your mind is racing with thoughts, so many it could burst. A feeling of urgency that takes you completely and is shared with the man by your side. Gathering forces from an ancient feeling asleep for so too long, you finally speak:

“You have found me… how?”

He hums looking into the pond before answering your question that is so easy to answer yet difficult to put into words when he measures the consequences.

“I felt you calling me.”

You shortly breathe, reminding the nights where that feeling of emptiness would set in as if there was something missing and you would pray for a light, something that could give you a clue of what was the other part of the whole. The dreams that filled your sleep in the following nights left you even more puzzled, but when Alucard arrived, everything was starting to be put in place, for more unbelievable that sounded. 

Before you died, you made Alucard promise that he would find someone else. That he wouldn't have his eternity tied to your memory, that he would find other lovers to fulfill his heart and to give him the love he deserved. Your shaking cold hand held his as you collapsed to smallpox in your deathbed and finally the eyes of your mortal body closed forever. He did as promised. Tens of women and men crossed his path across those thirty decades, but no one of them were you. The same emptiness your oblivious, reborn self would experience now, the dhampir would drag along the mists of years; for you, what was an unknown spectrum, for him it was a very palpable feeling that seemed to almost materialize itself.

Your eyes fill up with tears, a rush of emotions suddenly rises as Alucard watches you break down, still hesitant. His slender hand reaches out to touch your shoulder and you shudder; like the sun coming out from the clouds, a myriad of memories start to bloom. Alucard’s eyes are wide open in shock, harm of fear is the last thing he wants to inflict on you. But how could he have been causing it when all you could see in front of your eyes was him and your life together? Piece by piece like a broken porcelain, you see snippets of the past. 

You suddenly wrap your arms around his shoulders, a hug so unpredictable and strong that Alucard had to hold onto the bricks of the pond otherwise you would fall directly into it. Once steady, He slowly retributes the hug, face resting on the crook of your neck as you sob tears of unbelievable happiness into his white hair. A small salty droplet roams his cheek too and when he realizes the emotional boy he used to be was here again. Slowly, you pull off from the embrace, drying your tears with the sleeves of your dress and say while cupping his angelical face in your hands, strands of white hair sticking onto his skin. You smile and say before pressing a gentle kiss onto his lips:

“And you came to me… from the sky like an angel.”

[yoongelectric]

Make the time - CA

pairing: carlos alcaraz x fem!reader

genre: fluff, smut, established relationship

warnings: pet names, p in v, rough sex, oral (both receiving), fingering, edging, doggy style, choking

notes: english isn’t my first language. everything written in cursive is supposed to be spanish, as a spanish speaker i find it cringy when writers put random words in other languages so i couldn’t bring myself to do it sorry 🙏🏻🙏🏻

summary: after weeks of not seeing each other you decided to surprise your boyfriend on his vacation

You had already lost count of how many days it had been since you had last seen Carlos, your work and the tennis season had made it impossible for you to coincide and although your boyfriend had asked you over and over again to go on vacation with him now that the season had ended, you felt a pain in your chest every time you had to say no, your responsibilities were not something you could abandon whenever you wanted, not that it wasn't a tempting idea, your insufferable boss, all the extra hours you worked without being paid enough and the horrible work environment got you closer and closer to quitting.

It was on a cold Monday in January when you woke up to a message from your boyfriend saying good morning and a photo of him lying under the sun on a yacht, his hair just at that length you loves, a pleasure that you could have very few days a year before your boyfriend's barber ruined his brown locks, his skin tanned by the Brazilian sun and the light reflecting on his toned muscles made you start the day with a burning sensation between your legs.

The deep void you felt in your chest from missing your boyfriend so much and this morning when your boss seemed especially irritable formed a tragic mix making you explode and finally quit, you knew you would regret your impulsive decision but at least now you hated your life a little less.

Proud of yourself for the decision you made, you called your boyfriend to tell him, but it went straight to voicemail, you started to think about what could he be doing, swimming maybe? taking a nap? having lunch with his friends? then you had an idea, you would find out for yourself.

Excited by the thought of ​​surprising him, you texted Alvaro asking him to help you out, you bought the first plane ticket to where your boyfriend was, you packed your suitcase full of flowy dresses and tiny bikinis and you headed to the airport.

On his part, Carlos was checking phone all the time. You hadn't answered his calls all day. He knew that it was already nighttime in Spain and he was starting to worry. His friends' attempts to distract him with music and alcohol only managed to piss him off more and just when he was about to call you once again, his brother's voice took him out of his thoughts.

"Carlos, put that phone down, man, look, I brought you a girl to distract you a little" Alvaro's joking tone went unnoticed by Carlos, who was about to tell him to fuck off, but that’s when he saw you

He got up in a hurry and ran to hug you, with so much emotion that he lifted your feet off the ground.

"I can't believe you're here, love, I almost beat the shit out of Alvaro. Did you got days off? How long are you staying?" Your boyfriend began to ask non-stop, in disbelief that he finally had you there with him. He grabbed your face and looked at you for a few seconds. "You're really here, I'm not imagining it." He smiled, hugging you again and making you laugh full of joy

He realized he had been holding you for too long when his friends told him to let you go so they could greet you too.

The night went by peacefully, y’all had dinner, a couple of drinks and lost track of time talking about everything and nothing at the same time, you’d always liked your boyfriend's friends so you only noticed what time it was when you saw that your boyfriend's eyes began to close on your lap while you caressed his hair.

"Carlos, are you sleepy? We can go to bed if you want" your boyfriend nodded his head and you could notice the subtle giggles of those who were still there, to whom Carlos gave a threatening look.

You got up and took your boyfriend's hand who led you to his room, it was small but cozy, with a nice navy vibe to get you into the vacation atmosphere, you felt Carlos's arms wrap around your waist from behind and his lips giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"I missed you so much, dear, thank you for coming."

"I think today's events prove that I was going to go crazy if I went one more day without seeing you" you grabbed his hands and leaned against him enjoying his touch, the relaxation your boyfriend provided made you yawn.

"Let's go to sleep, tomorrow we’ll have the whole day just for us" your boyfriend said smiling at you as he lay down and extended his arms for you to throw yourself on him.

You don't know how long it had been since you fell asleep but your restless boyfriend woke you up. The room felt hot and his breathing was heavy, you moved your hips slightly and felt his hardened member poke your ass.

"Baby, haven't you fallen asleep yet?" You rubbed your eyes trying to get the sleep away.

"sorry, y/n, I didn't want to wake you up, you can go back to sleep" he hugged you again and you heard him grunt as his pelvis touched your hips, your tiredness was dissipating more and more and the only thing you felt was a growing desire for the man next to you.

"Carlos, just say the word and I'll help you that, love" you laughed softly.

"No, beautiful, you're tired, I don't want to bother you, we have plenty of time for that, it's just that having you here in my arms after so long…I just can't help it." He took a deep breath and the air made the hairs on your neck shiver. "I'll go fix it myself."

"You're not going anywhere." You stopped him with your hand on his chest and straddled him. "I'm awake now."

Your boyfriend smiled under you and pulled you by the neck towards him to kiss you hard and passionately, you moaned into his mouth and rocked your hips on him, gently grabbing his hair, you felt his erection in your pussy getting harder and your boyfriend's hands holding your hips and moving you back and forth on his dick.

Carlos moved his hands under your shirt, grabbing your breasts and circling his fingers on your nipples, making the wet patch on your underwear grow by the second.

“carlos, please- just” a moan escaped your mouth as your back arched into his hand.

"shh, love, you have to be quiet, tell me what you want me to do to you" your boyfriend whispered in your ear, going down to kiss your neck, sucking and biting leaving purple marks on your delicate skin.

"You're not doing anything, I want to make you feel good" you said, trailing kisses from his neck to his stomach, your boyfriend's habit of sleeping only in his boxers giving you easy access to his skin, you sucked and licked his toned abs while your hand played with the waistline of his boxers.

"shit, I missed you so much, I'm dying to have your big cock in my mouth" you continued teasing him, kissing his member over his underwear, you felt how your boyfriend pushed his hips against your mouth indicating that he couldn't stand it anymore

"then do it, stop playing with me, princess"

You freed his dick from the confinement of his boxers and watched hypnotized as it hit his stomach, hard as a rock and the tip angry red, the vein that ran along one side swollen from the amount of blood that passed through it and a drop of precum coming out, your mouth watering, licked along his shaft while your hand expertly played with his balls, you looked up meeting your boyfriend's look of pleasure, Carlos looked so handsome like that, lips pursed and his brow furrowed looking at you with lust.

You could only think about making him feel good, so you grabbed his cock with one hand and wrapped your lips around his tip, your tongue drawing circles on it, your boyfriend held your hair into a ponytail but he didn’t push your head yet, he just needed to grab something and see your face clearly.

You pumped your head a few times, your tongue pressing against his length, working to open your throat so you could take more and more of him, until your nose was pressing against his pelvis.

After being there for a few seconds, you let go of his dick, a string of drool connecting your mouth and his member, your thumb gently caressing his slit as you spoke.

"I want you to fuck my mouth, baby, use me however you want, Carlos"

“shit, y/n, you’re going to be the death of me.”

A moan of pleasure escaped from your mouth when your boyfriend pushed your head down his cock, at first he took it slow, feeling how your tongue worked skillfully on him, but when he finally lost control he began to fuck your face without mercy, the only thing you could hear were both of your moans and your gagging, squeezing your throat over his cock.

your boyfriend's face of pleasure turned blurry by the tears that accumulated in your eyes and fell down your face, but you wouldn't have wanted it any other way, you missed so much when your boyfriend used you just the way he liked, being quiet because of the people sleeping in the next rooms had been long forgotten.

your boyfriend pulled your hair to get you off his cock

"shit, love, I need to fuck you, I want to cum in that pussy of yours"

You wiped the drool around your mouth and the tears that ran down your cheeks with the back of your hand and lay down with your back on the pillows.

"damn, so wet just for me, I love you so much, sweetheart"

Your boyfriend ran two of his fingers through your folds, applying pressure to your clit as he leaned down to suck on your nipples, your back arching and your hips thrusting into his hand seeking more friction.

"Carlos, please, more, make me cum, please, I need it" you couldn't think straight, the only thing that came out of your mouth were pleas.

"as you wish, beautiful" without warning the hand on your clit was replaced by his tongue, his hands gripping your hips tightly and pressing you against him.

Shocked by how sensitive you were, you tried to close your legs over his head, but his strong arms stopped you.

Carlos's tongue worked quickly over your clit, sending you over the edge in seconds. You gripped the sheets tightly, and your head leaned further onto the pillows, and just as you felt your climax about to hit you, your boyfriend pulled away from you.

The cry of frustration you left made Carlos laugh.

"not yet, y/n" his hands moved to caress your thighs while he left kisses on your stomach "not so quick, let me enjoy you a little longer"

"we can stay up all night, carlos, but please I need it now" you felt like crying

"oh you can count on us being up all night"

You felt him ease two fingers into your hole in a single movement, curving them inside you and pumping them while pressing down on your stomach, overstimulating you with pleasure, he stretched out his thumb to draw random figures on your clit.

"Come on, make a mess on my fingers, beautiful"

His words like a trigger making you finish on his fingers with a moan of his name, his movements slowed down and went softer waiting for you to come down from your high.

"Fuck me now, I want you inside, love"

"God, woman, you are insatiable" your boyfriend laughed, flipping you so that you were on all fours.

You looked over your shoulder, smiling at him, “and you love me for that.”

Your boyfriend slapped your ass, watching it jiggle hypnotized, leaning in to kiss and bite your cheeks.

"Fucking hell, I'll never get enough of you"

"Carlos, please"

You felt him spread your buttocks with one hand and ran his dick through your folds to collect your juices. eased his cock inside you in one movement and you heard him grunt as he pulled your hair. He stood still waiting for you to adjust to his size

"Move, baby, i want it hard please" the desperate look you gave him making him lose all control.

Your boyfriend began to slam his hips onto you, slow but hard, making you feel every inch, the grip on your hip and the slaps on your ass surely leaving marks that you would have to cover tomorrow.

Your moans and his grunts were the only thing that filled the room as the two of you seeked your orgasms.

"Carlos, I'm so close"

At your words, Carlos pulled you towards his chest by your neck, choking you just right and drawing circles on your bundle of nerves.

"Then come for me, I want to feel you finish on my cock, princess"

the way you grabbed his thigh and your walls clenched on his member made him cum at the same time as you, filling you with his seed.

"God, thank you, I love you, you are the love of my life" you heard your boyfriend whisper in your ear as he squeezed your breasts and slowed down his thrusts.

Your boyfriend pulled away, and after quickly cleaning you up, and lying down he hugged you from behind.

"I missed you so much, you don't know how happy I am that you're here" Carlos said as he gave you kisses on your shoulder.

too tired to answer you just smiled at him and held his hand, falling asleep in seconds.

[miyasann]

i'm late to the party but i cried 5 times watching the dumpster battle

[broke-on-books]

☕

The live action Scooby-Doo movies?

I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions

So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.

Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)

The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.

Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]

AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).

And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.

And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.

TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.

[simpforboys]

surprise!

drew starkey x fem!singer!reader

summary: ever since the reader started blowing up, all the interviews and promotions that would ask her who her celebrity crush is, she always had the same answer. so when Jimmy Fallon invites her on his show, he might have a surprise in store…

warnings: fluff!! second hand embarrassment, reader gushes about Drew, she’s just a fangirl at heart

‘perfume’ by del water gap mentioned <3

part two , part three, part four

2020

“Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“Drew Starkey, he plays Rafe in Outer Banks.”

“Do you have a celebrity crush?

“Yeah, Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”

“Are there any people you would hope to collab with or meet?”

“Definitely Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”

2021

“Last year you said multiple times Drew Starkey is your celebrity crush, is this still true?”

“Yeah, he’s still my main one.”

“Are there any guys you’re interested in?”

“My dream guy is Drew Starkey, if that’s what you mean.”

“What’s your type in a man?”

“Umm… probably Drew Starkey.”

2022

“Update us on all the boy drama! Anyone interesting?”

“Just waiting for Drew Starkey.”

“You look stunning! Are you here with anyone tonight?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Your crush around Drew Starkey, is that still a thing?”

“It still is… have you seen his new movie ‘Hellraiser’?”

2023

“Your new EP just released, are any of the songs about Drew Starkey?”

“Not on this one, no. Maybe the next one.”

“Are you seeing anyone? Has Drew Starkey called?”

“No, not yet. Maybe next year.”

“Have you seen season three of ‘Outer Banks’ yet?”

“Yes, oh my god! Drew looked so good.”

2024

“Your new song ‘Perfume’ is an absolute hit! Is it about Drew Starkey?”

“Omg, no, but it should’ve been.”

“You’ve quickly risen to fame! Has Drew Starkey noticed you yet?”

“Unfortunately, no. He’s probably hiding.”

Ever since your career started, in every single interview you get the question regarding celebrity crushes, the answer was always the same.

Drew Starkey.

It became a known meme revolving you and your fans, along with the media. Practically every interview just loved to teased you about your known celebrity crush.

Your popularity rose more in 2023 to 2024, so, when Jimmy Fallon reached out to you to have you on his show, your agency immediately agreed.

Standing behind the curtain wearing a tight brown suit, the pants wide-leg. Black boots were your choice of footwear, your makeup done perfectly to match the outfit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, bring your hands together for Y/n L/n!”

When Jimmy announced your name, you came out from behind the curtain, a big smile on your face as you waved to the audience.

Shaking hands and hugging some of the crew members before you finally hugged Jimmy, settling down in the blue chair.

“How are you doing tonight?” Jimmy asks with a warm smile.

“I’m doing good! Pretty nervous to be honest, this is my first talkshow.” You answered sincerely.

The audience clapped and Jimmy sunk back in his seat a little more.

“Well, I’m glad to be your first one! So, your new song ‘Perfume’ recently came out, congratulations on 200 million streams.”

“Thank you so much, really.” Your hands were shaking as you fidgeted with the brown fabric on your knee, one leg crossed over the other.

“So, you’ve been singing since 2020?” Jimmy asks.

“Yeah, I started posting videos on Tik Tok but my career really took off at the end of 2023 and now here we are.” You smile, the whole experience still so surreal.

“Your voice is phenomenal, seriously. I’ll need to have you come back and sing on the show for us.” Jimmy says, causing the audience to erupt into cheers.

You laughed a little, nodding your head. “Of course, anytime.”

Jimmy continued to talk to you for a few more minutes about your career, the conversation flowing smoothly as you cracked some nervous jokes.

“So, I have to ask, Y/n. Since your career began you’ve said your celebrity crush is Drew Starkey, can you tell us more about this?”

You felt your face get a little warm as you shifted in your seat, an anxious smile on your lips.

“I dunno, I guess I’ve just always found him attractive. He’s insanely talented and just seems like a very genuine soul.” You say sheepishly, avoiding looking at the camera.

“He’s also becoming more and more popular right now, with season four of ‘Outer Banks’ that came out in October and November along with his new movie ‘Queer’.” Jimmy adds on.

“Yeah, I’m a pretty big fan so I’ve been following along with it. I’m very proud of him, in like a supportive-fan way.” You say, making the audience laugh at the last part.

You were completely oblivious to Jimmy looking behind you, motioning with his hand underneath his desk.

“So it’s not just his looks?” Jimmy teases.

“I mean, he’s a very beautiful man. He looks good with any haircut especially that mullet he had last year — and oh my god, he just looked so good in season four of ‘Outer Banks.’ Plus he has these big biceps that just bulge out of any shirt.”

You hadn’t even realized you were gushing over your celebrity crush until you finally caught yourself, hearing the audience laughing.

“Oh, gosh. You are really into him, huh?” Jimmy teases.

“What would you do if he was standing right behind you?” The host asks.

If you weren’t so nervous from being on a national talkshow you probably would’ve understood his message.

But your brain caused you to miss it, being as oblivious as ever.

“Probably pass out.” You answered, hearing the audience giggle more. Jimmy had an amused grin on his face.

“Please don’t pass out.”

Your posture immediately straightened, body tense as you stood up from the seat.

Turning around, your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw Drew fucking Starkey standing there.

The audience’s laughter grew as well as Jimmy’s, clearly satisfied with the surprise.

Your hands went to cover your mouth, face feeling hot like you had a fever. You just gushed about this man practically to his face.

“Hi, Y/n. I’m Drew.”

You couldn’t respond, just in pure shock as you stare at the tall man.

Drew also looked a little sheepish, his cheeks pink as he grinned at you.

“Did you— did you hear everything?” You finally managed to choke out.

“Maybe.” Drew chuckled, scratching the side of his neck.

“How do you feel after hearing all that, Drew?” Jimmy chuckles.

“I’m honored,” Drew replies.

You hated the way he fucking said that and the way you understood that reference.

Drew held his hand out for you to shake, but your heart was beating too fast and your brain was turning into nervous mush that you just embarrassed yourself in front of your dream man.

“Are you going to shake his hand? Hug him?” Jimmy chuckled.

“I’m… scared.” You murmured, the audience swooning and giggling over your shyness.

“Can I hug you?” Drew asked.

Stunned, your head slowly nodded. His strong arms wrapped around your body, your forehead resting against his shoulder.

You couldn’t even hug him back properly, just too much in shock. He smelt like cologne and it made your knees weak.

“I love your new song, by the way.” Drew murmured softly in your ear.

“Yeah?” You whisper, feeling like an idiot for the way you were reacting in front of him.

Drew just nods and hums, soothingly caressing your back in an effort to calm you down.

“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one last time for Y/n L/n and Drew Starkey!” Jimmy has to end the segment.

The audience cheers as Drew continues to embrace you.

He had known about you for the last few months, having a few of your songs in his playlists.

He was just constantly busy so he never really got the chance to reach out, but when Jimmy’s team contacted him about surprising you on the show, he was excited.

And nervous.

“Sorry about surprising you like that.” Jimmy comes over, causing you and Drew to finally pull away.

“You gave me trust issues for talkshows now.” You said jokingly, finally calming down a bit.

Drew and Jimmy both laughed softly.

The film crew told you and Drew that the commercial break would be ending soon so to step off stage.

You did your signature on the wall dedicated to Jimmy’s guests, feeling familiar blue eyes gazing at you.

After thanking each crew member and shaking hands or hugging, an assistant pointed you and Drew towards where a car will take you both back to your perspective hotels.

“You ready?” Drew asked you.

You nodded, feeling nervous due to the fact that you were about to be alone in the back of a car with your celebrity crush, other than the driver in the front.

Drew opened the door for you as you climbed in, hyperaware of how he slid in behind you onto the leather seat.

It was quiet for a few moments, you nervously fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.

“So… you like my new song?”

You finally manage to choke out.

Drew smiled softly, turning his head to look at you. He was still a little flustered at everything that happened, but also very amused.

“I do, yeah. Are you going to shoot a music video for it?” Drew asked.

You nod, making eye contact with him.

“Yeah, my idea is to tell a story about these two lovers who move to like a quieter part, I was thinking either the forest or a desert, that live in poorer conditions but are completely happy and content because they have each other. I want it to be full of love, so kissing, affection, a sex scene.”

You rambled on to him, your eyes falling to your hands as you played with your rings.

“Oh, wow. That sounds cool as fuck.” Drew murmured, also watching your hands fidget. He thought it was cute.

“I’ve had the idea in my head for a few years, actually. I started writing ‘Perfume’ in like… 2021? So, I just want everything to be perfect.”

You added on, looking back at him. He had his left leg crossed over his knee, his body language towards you.

“Well… if you need a male costar, I would love to do it.” He gave you a smile.

A small grin curled onto your lips, stomach hurting at realization of what he just implied.

“Yeah?”

He nodded, licking his lips.

“Mhm. I told you, I love the song. Plus, your idea sounds amazing, and if you want me to, I would love to be apart of it.”

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat when it finally hit you that Drew fucking Starkey wanted to be your on-screen lover.

“You’re not just fucking with me, right?”

You had to ask, blurting it out of your nervous mouth.

Drew just snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “No, I’m not.”

“Okay… I’ll have my manager reach out to your’s about details for when we start shooting. I appreciate it a lot.”

You were unaware the car finally came to a stop, parked outside your hotel, fans and security guards waiting for you.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Have a good night, Y/n.”

Drew smiled at you, your heart fluttering.

“You too, Drew.”

You got out of the car, letting the security guards guide you inside the hotel. You tried your best to take photos or sign autographs for your dedicated fans, something Drew admired as he watched from the back of the SUV.

By the time you finally got back into your hotel room and kicked off your boots, you started taking off your jewelry.

Flopping down onto the bed, you grabbed your phone.

It felt like your heart dropped to your stomach when one notification specifically caught your eye.

@/drewstarkey started following you back

[chahnniesroom]

night again

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

word count: 6.4k

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, insecurities, reader not eating due to stress

a/n: the long awaited 'he calls you clingy' fic! title is from the english translation of 또 다시 밤 (twilight)

read it on ao3 | masterlist

You love your job. It's challenging for sure and the expectations from upper management are often unforgiving, but you’re proud of how hard you've worked and everything that you've accomplished in the past few years at your company. 

As you've gained experience, you've slowly been given more and more responsibility. You've grown out of your junior role and though you're thrilled by the pay raise and prospect of being a team lead rather than being led by one, it's also daunting.

When you and your new team are assigned an important project with tight deadlines, you're determined to prove yourself. It's implied that you're going to have to have to dedicate a significant amount of time to finish it and while you're no stranger to long hours, it means that any plans you have of seeing your boyfriend, Chan, are out the window.

The timing is not terrible, Stray Kids has a comeback scheduled in about a week so you didn't think that you would be able to spend that much time with Chan anyway, but you usually try to surprise the boys at one of the music shows with a cake and some home cooked food.

Luckily, you've already been planning for this. Although nothing had been confirmed, you had expected that this project would be awarded to your company and you've already been trying to spend more time with Chan than usual in preparation for the busy season ahead for both of you.

Still, you can't help but agree with your best friend at work after she complains how little she's going to see her partner this month. Jinjoo doesn't know who your boyfriend is, but the two of you are close enough that you’ve shared that you have one and that work takes up a lot of his time. You've gushed to her about the sweet things that Chan has done for you and you've admitted that you think he's the one.

“You should bring him dinner sometime!” she exclaims when you mention you're not sure when the next time you'll be able to see Chan will be.

“Well, he’s really busy-” you start to say.

“That’s the beauty of it. I’m sure he would appreciate if you brought him food at work, especially if he’s anything like my partner and gets so caught up with work that they forget to eat sometimes,” she insists.

“That’s true.”

“Just trust me, Y/n. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure that it’d work. My partner loves when I do this. It’s literally the perfect way to take some time for each other before you’re both too busy. Even if he's super busy, his work can't be bad enough that he’s not allowed to eat, right?”

You agree somewhat reluctantly. You're still unsure about whether or not Chan would appreciate you barging in unannounced, but it is a cute idea and Jinjoo's confidence is enough to convince you.

The next day after work, you head to the company and order takeout for a late dinner for you and Chan, picking it up along the way. It reminds you of earlier in your relationship before you had gotten your current position and when Stray Kids were just gaining popularity. Both of you enjoyed having more casual date nights that provided more privacy as opposed to going out to fancy places and it makes you even more excited to see his reaction.

About a year after you started dating Chan, he insisted that you get a pass to get into JYP Entertainment without having to fill out a visitor's form and have someone pick you up. It has definitely come in handy more than a few times, although you try to limit the number of visits you make. Even though you're allowed to be there, it still feels intimidating to be in the building, like someone is going to recognize that you're not an employee and accuse you of being a sasaeng.

Luckily the late hour means that you make it to Chan's studio without having to interact with anybody except the security at the door, who had waved you through without a second thought. You had double checked with Felix earlier in the day to make sure that Chan didn't have any schedules or dinner plans, so you directly knock on his door without texting or calling him beforehand. 

“Y/n?” he asks, a bit baffled when he sees you. “Did we- Did I forget that we had plans tonight?”

“No,” you say, a little nervous for some reason. It's just Chan, you tell yourself, but it doesn't make you feel any better. “I didn't think that you had dinner yet and wanted to see you.”

“Oh, I see. Come in,” Chan responds slowly, still processing your sudden appearance. “I just have something that I need to finish up-”

“It's fine! You can work,” you assure him quickly. “I don't want to interrupt you too much, I just wanted to drop by since I don't have plans and wanted to make sure that you're eating well.”

Chan’s studio isn’t messy at all, but he still gets up to clear some space on a side table for you, before returning back to where he has Cubase opened up. You pass over his food and feel relieved when he immediately digs in, but your appetite seems to have vanished, you can only get yourself to pick at your meal.

Chan is short with his responses all evening and continues to work on his laptop, even while eating. It throws you off a bit, you thought that he would be able to get to a stopping point and at least make a bit of time for you, but you did tell him that he could. Even so, you're determined to make the most of the last time that you’re going to see them for a while. You know they’ve been super busy the past few days, or more like the past few weeks, but still you had thought he would be a little bit more engaged or at the very least seem happy to see you.

Finally, after half an hour of eating with minimal conversation, you decide to broach the subject that’s been on your mind this entire time. Chan’s finished his food and you know that you won’t be able to get yourself to eat anymore, so you shuffle everything off to the side and inch closer to Chan. 

“You know that client we’ve been trying to work with for a while?” you start tentatively.

Chan hums noncommittally, continuing to type on his computer. Not quite the reaction that you're hoping for, but you forge on anyway.

“We got awarded the job! It’s a great opportunity for the company and everyone is really excited, but-”

“Y/n,” he interrupts. “I’m sorry, that’s amazing and all, but you know that it’s not a good time for me right now. I have something I really need to work on and now that you’ve finished eating, can we please not bother with the small talk?”

“Oh,” you say, a bit caught off guard. Chan has never been the type to cut you off when you're speaking. “No, yeah, I get it. Uhm. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, just-” he sighs, sounding frustrated. “Next time can you please ask me when you want to visit in advance so this doesn’t happen again? You chose the worst timing to come by. I just need some space, from all of… this,” he says, waving a hand between the two of you.

“Sorry, I know it’s a busy time, but I just wanted to see-”

At that moment, an alarm on Chan's phone goes off, interrupting you. When he turns it off and notices the time, he swears lowly, unlocking his phone and typing out a message to somebody. You’re scared to break the silence. Less than a minute later, someone knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Chan calls. When Changbin and Jisung step into the room, they eye you curiously. You keep your head down and try to prevent your hands from shaking as you stand and start to haphazardly shove away all your belongings and the garbage from your dinner into bags. 

“Noona, it's good to see you!” Jisung says brightly, although his smile dims when you make eye contact and can only manage to weakly return the smile. “Sorry for interrupting you two.”

“Hi Hannie,” you reply quietly, not wanting to make conversation, but not wanting to be rude.

“It’s okay, Y/n was just leaving,” Chan says, his obvious annoyance making things even more awkward.

You say bye to the boys quietly and apologise as you shuffle past them to the door.

The handles of the bag from your dinner are digging into your hand painfully and your purse can’t close with the way that you’ve thrown everything into it. You only take a few steps before you have to stop for a moment to save a container from falling and decide to put down everything and reorganise it all.

When you crouch down, you take a second to mentally berate yourself. Everything you had worried about had come true. Instead of being a pleasant surprise, you had come across as a nuisance.

In your rush, you hadn't fully closed the studio door behind you and you're close enough that you can just barely pick up the conversation that happens inside.

“Sorry,” you hear Chan say faintly. “I don't know what's been going on, but Y/n has been… really clingy these days. She just showed up today without asking and I hate-”

You leave before he has the chance to say anything else. You look like a mess for sure, you had just grabbed all the empty containers without bothering to put them back into the plastic bag, your jacket is partially dragging on the ground, and your purse is hanging off your elbow, having slipped off your shoulder. You're pretty sure you hear an empty drink bottle clatter to the floor behind you, but you don't look back to check.

You don't have it in you to care, you just need to leave.

Even waiting for the elevator feels humiliating, so you bypass it and stumble down the stairs. You dump the garbage into a bin on the first floor, not bothering to sort it properly, and step out onto the street, bee-lining to the nearest subway station.

The ride home passes by in a blur.

It hurts, of course it hurts. 

Honestly the reason that your relationship had worked out so far was because you weren’t the kind of person that needed a lot of attention. You understood that both of you were busy and were content to just exchange messages every couple of days because you knew how important Stray Kids was to Chan. Of course you did, they were just as important to you.

If Chan wanted space, well. You were more than capable of giving it to him.

In fact, your upcoming schedule had been the reason that you had wanted to meet up in the first place, the source of your so-called clinginess. You’d never been called that before. You were hyper-independent and tended to get lost in your own mind, easily distracted by different thoughts. It had gotten to a point that most of your exes had complained at least once about you being distant or inattentive.

With Chan, you had been determined not to be the same. It had been difficult at first, to make the effort to send messages throughout the day. You had to convince yourself not to spend too long drafting replies in your head and try not to worry that you were bothering him, especially if you knew that he had schedules at the same time that you were texting.

By the time that you make it to your apartment, your pain has faded into a mixture of resignation and numbness. You don't want to talk to Chan about how you feel, it's your clinginess that he didn't like in the first place, and you don't think you'll have time or the energy for a long, emotional conversation in the next few weeks anyway. If you keep your distance for a while, it just benefits both of you, you tell yourself. You won’t be a distraction to Chan as Stray Kids has their comeback and he won’t be one to you as you take on this new project. 

As much as you want to spend the rest of your night overthinking- something you’ve done more than you’d like to admit- you know that you have a busy day at work tomorrow. Feeling a bit like a zombie, you force yourself to shuffle through your usual nighttime routine, swallowing a melatonin pill before climbing into bed.

Normally, you would send Chan a good night message. Actually, normally you would have sent him a message the second that you arrived home. It was something that he was insistent on starting from early on in your relationship, wanting to make sure that you were safe.

Tonight, you just turn off your phone, plug it into its charger, and sleep.

—

In the morning, you allow yourself to wallow in bed for 5 minutes, before you get ready for work. You’ve never been good at eating breakfast and today’s no exception. Your stomach turns uneasily at the thought of food so you only force yourself to drink some water before you leave.

Your team at work has agreed to get to work earlier than usual just to get a headstart on everything. Though you’re more of a night owl, you’re grateful to find that deviating from your usual routine means that the subway is empty enough that you can find an empty seat, a luxury that you’ve rarely experienced.

It feels eerie to walk through the streets of Seoul when the sun has just started to rise and you’re relieved when you finally make it to your office.

Unsurprisingly, you’re one of the first to arrive. You’re grateful for the time that you have to unpack your things and make a much needed coffee before the rest of your team shows up.

“How did it go last night?” Jinjoo asks you excitedly when she comes in.

“Uhm, it was okay,” you reply noncommittally. “He was definitely surprised.”

“Oh,” Jinjoo pouts at your lack of enthusiasm.

“I mean, it wasn’t bad,” you backtrack, hating to see her disappointed. “It was just so short, he was kind of… busy. But that’s what I expected anyway so that's fine I guess. Thanks for suggesting it to me though! I really appreciate it.”

“That’s good,” Jinjoo brightens. “At least you got to see him one last time.”

“Oh yeah for sure! I think that after seeing him yesterday, it’ll be easier to deal with how busy we’re going to be for the next few weeks,” you say truthfully. 

It’s not a lie, you justify. For the first time since you started dating, you’re not looking forward to the next time that you’re going to see Chan.

You know that your communication is about to reduce to an all time low for the next few weeks, and while you had originally been worried about how Chan would react, now you’re thinking that he’s just going to be relieved not to hear from you. You’ve never thought yourself to have been overly chatty with Chan during the day though, preferring in-person conversation over texting and knowing that he’s generally not available to read your messages anyway, much less send you a reply. It seemed that you were wrong. 

Luckily your team now has to use a shared box that you’re required to put your personal phones into during working hours and only have a little bit of time during lunch and dinner breaks, if you take them, to fish them out. It’s a policy that your company enforces when teams are working on confidential projects and you can’t blame them due to past litigation that they’ve been involved in after a former employee leaked sensitive information.

For once, you're glad for this excuse to not look at your phone, even if you feel a little bit naked to look at the side of your desk or reach into your pocket and not have your phone there. You’re relieved to bury yourself in your work and forget all about your personal life. Even though your project is just starting, you feel like you're already behind. 

When you're finished work for the day and take back your phone, you find yourself reluctant to check your notifications. It's only when you're waiting for the subway to arrive at your station that you finally force yourself to take a look.

No new messages or calls from Chan.

You’re not sure what you expected, but somehow you’re still disappointed.

You get back to your apartment late, you had wanted to finish a couple of things before you left the office and it had led to you being one of the last to leave. You had also stopped by the convenience store closest to your place, not having the energy to cook anything for yourself.

You pick at your dinner half-heartedly. You're used to eating alone, Chan often had his meals at odd times due to his schedules, but tonight the silence feels more oppressive. 

It haunts you, the tail end of the overheard conversation. You have no idea how Chan was going to complete the sentence, but your mind unhelpfully fills in the blanks with worse and worse suggestions.

He hates the timing of your visit.

He hates that you visited at all.

He hates that he has such a clingy girlfriend.

He hates that you are his clingy, annoying, bothersome girlfriend.

He hates you.

In moments of clarity, you can recognize that it's not true. That's not the Chan that you know and he would never say something like that about anybody, least of all you. It's just hard when a small part of you has never really been able to believe that someone as talented and amazing as Chan would want to date someone as unremarkable as you.

You find yourself falling into a new routine, waking early, working overtime, and trying not to cry yourself to sleep. You succeed most of the time, you keep yourself occupied by thinking about work and you're so physically exhausted by your long hours that you fall asleep the second that you get into bed. Luckily, your coworkers are just as overworked as you are and it’s easy to blame your declining condition on the project. Weekends don't help you rest at all, you've committed to your manager that you can work on Saturdays and Sundays are spent completing the chores that you've neglected during the week.

You still talk to Chan sometimes, either right when you wake up or on the way home after work. The conversation is stilted though, both because of the long delays between messages when you text and the limited time that you have when you call. It's enough of a difference that Chan asks you multiple times if everything is okay. Even though you try your best to assure him that you're fine, just busy, you're sure he knows that something is off, although he doesn't question you further.

Most exciting is the day that the new Stray Kids album releases. You've already heard most of the songs for this comeback, perks of dating the member that's the most involved in the writing and production of the album, but it's different now that they're available to the public too. You make sure to organise your schedule so that you're on break when the music video drops and you send a number of messages in the group chat that you have with the group cheering them on. Usually, you try to take a day off to deliver some food to them at the music shows, but you've had to settle for arranging with one of their managers to treat them to a meal.

You can tell when they get breaks because when you check your phone after work, notifications from the members are all in the same blocks of time. It's mostly them thanking you, taking pictures of the food you sent, flowers that they've been gifted, and letters from fans. They have a short promotion period this comeback, but it's packed with different interviews, performances, and fanmeets. At one point, Felix even sends you a picture of Chan sleeping slumped over on one of the waiting room couches. As much as you're relieved to see that he's able to get some rest, the picture has your stomach twisting uncomfortably.

You're proud of Chan, of all of the boys. They've worked so hard and each comeback seems to be more and more successful. Even if you're not confident in what's going to happen with you and Chan in the future, you want to celebrate with them while you still can.

—

After almost four weeks, your project is nearing completion and you've never been more grateful to have a deadline arrive.

You only have a couple more days left until your last submittal is due and after getting off work, you want nothing more than to collapse into bed even though your stomach has been growling the whole walk from the bus to your building. You had caught a significant mistake in a document right before it was going to be sent to a client and the whole afternoon had been spent trying to fix it in time. Your team had just barely managed it, but your head has been pounding for hours and your whole body is tight with stress.

You’re not quite sure how you make it to your apartment, your exhaustion has made you clumsy. You struggle a couple times to enter in the code to unlock your door and trip over a pair of shoes that are scattered in the entryway.

You manage to catch yourself before you fall, then squint back. Yes, you haven’t had the chance to tidy your apartment in a couple weeks, but you’ve never been the type to leave your shoes on the walking path.

A light is on, further in your apartment. You know for a fact it wasn’t like that when you left this morning, it would have been obvious since you've been leaving before the sun rises. Someone else is here.

You stare at the light for a few seconds in disbelief, then slowly reach to grab something, anything that you might be able to use to defend yourself. Your shaking hands close around a full sized umbrella that you keep beside your closet. 

You’ve already made enough commotion that there’s no way the intruder didn’t hear, but you try to keep your footsteps light as you creep down the hall to where your kitchen is. It’s stupid to try and confront them, but the idea of someone in your space, potentially taking your things, is enough to inspire a sudden bout of bravery.

You hold your breath as you turn the corner, launching forward to attack the second that you see someone. You recognise the figure halfway through your swing, and though it’s too late to fully stop, you manage to pull back enough that they’re able to easily catch the umbrella before it hits them.

Chan wraps his arms around you then eases the umbrella out of your hands, resting it against the wall. You sag into his embrace, adrenaline draining away, leaving you exhausted again. 

“Chan?”

You've missed this. His warmth, his comforting scent, the reassuring steadiness that he always provides. You can almost pretend that everything is fine.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he says, sounding more amused than apologetic.

“You should be,” you grumble into his shirt. “I could have seriously injured you if I didn't realise it was you!”

“I don't think that was going to be a problem.” Even though you can't see Chan, you can hear the grin in his voice.

“Hey!” You lightly smack his arm. “You take that back!”

“Fine, fine,” Chan acquiesces, holding up both his hands in surrender. “I'm very glad that I didn't have to experience the full power of your self defence.”

“Yeah yeah,” you huff. “What are you doing here anyway? Other than trying to give me a heart attack, that is.”

“I made you dinner,” Chan says shyly, turning pink.

“For what?” you ask suspiciously. It's easy to fall back into the banter that you typically exchange with Chan, but you can't help but be a bit wary these days.

“No reason. I uh, just haven't seen you in a while,” Chan says sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck where it’s now flushed red. “We had so much preparation to do and then all our schedules… Anyway, I wanted to surprise you, so I thought I could cook for us.”

Now that he's mentioned it, you can see that he's set your tiny kitchen table and that there's a couple of pots on the stove. Chan doesn’t cook often, but he’s expressed a desire to learn before and you’ve taught him how to make a few of your favourite recipes.

You stare at him for a moment, lost for words.

It's only been a few weeks, but you feel like you've forgotten how to act around Chan. Instead of a comfortable silence, it's almost awkward, neither of you knowing what to say.

“Oh,” you say finally, touched and still a little shocked that he's actually here. “That's- that's so nice, I just- is it okay if I wash up a bit quickly first?”

“No, yeah, of course. I'm sure you had a long day,” Chan says. “Go ahead, I’ll- the food should be reheated anyway so I’ll get on that. Take your time.”

You skirt around him to go to the bathroom, taking a moment to splash yourself with water. This feels like a bizarre dream and you wonder for a moment if you’re making this all up. But when you leave to go to your bedroom, Chan’s still there, puttering around in front of your kitchenette. You change your clothes slowly, mind racing as you try to puzzle together why Chan has decided to visit all of a sudden.

You eventually settle on the most logical reason that you can think of.

He’s finally decided to break up with you.

You’ve figured that this was coming for weeks by now, but somehow it still hurts. Instead of feeling resigned, it feels like you’re shattering into little pieces. You twist your work blouse into a tiny ball as you try not to cry, even though you know the fabric is going to wrinkle terribly. You finish cleaning up in a daze, already drafting what you're going to have to message your manager later. There's no way that you're going to be in any shape to work tomorrow if you’re right.

“Y/n?” Chan calls eventually. You know you're procrastinating leaving your room, but you want to put this off for as long as possible even though you know it’s just delaying the inevitable. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply with a heavy heart. “I’m fine. I'll just be another second.”

You can tell that Chan doesn’t quite believe you. He hovers around you when you emerge from your bedroom, knocking away your hand when you try to pull out your own chair from the table.

He's set the table, going so far as to fold little napkins under your utensils. There's even a tiny vase with your favourite flowers as a centrepiece. All this effort just hurts more.

“You look exhausted. You got home so late. Where were you?” he asks.

“I was at work,” you reply stiffly. You know that if you try and say any more, your emotions are going to spill over and you're either going to scream or cry. Maybe both.

“So late?” Chan's forehead creases with some sort of emotion. You can't quite tell if it's concern or scepticism.

“You're not the only one that has a demanding job.”

“Y/n, you know that's not what I meant-”

“Sure,” you say. “Whatever, let's just eat. Thank you for the food.”

You don't want to deal with this. You're so tired.

You have no idea why Chan’s dragging this out longer than it needs to be. Why he’s forcing you to sit through a meal with him like he’s not about to break your heart. Chan is one of the kindest people you know, he’s probably trying to make this easier for you, giving you one last nice memory, but it just feels cruel.

Chan reaches out, stopping you before you can pick up your chopsticks. He stares at the way his fingers overlap each other around your wrist.

“You’ve lost weight,” he says quietly. You look away, watching steam curl from the bowl of rice that has been set in front of you instead of returning eye contact.

“I’ve been busy.” Is all you can say in response. 

You don’t want to tell him that you’ve been basically subsisting on iced americanos and various convenience store meals in part because of your work schedule, but mostly because of your lack of appetite. Every time you thought of Chan, it made your stomach turn and well, everything reminded you of him. You hadn’t realised how much it had actually affected your physical condition until now though.

“You're not taking care of yourself,” he scolds you. You can feel yourself bristle at his comment even though you know it’s true. “I haven't been around to take care of you either. I'm sorry.”

“Chan,” you protest. It has been weeks since you last saw him in person and you’ve spent more time that you’d like to admit micro analysing your relationship, but you still can’t make sense of his behaviour, especially how he keeps switching between criticism and tenderness.

“What?” he asks in genuine confusion.

“Why are you here?”

“I missed you,” Chan says, sounding hurt and confused. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“I just- I don’t understand what you want from me!” You run your hands through your hair in frustration. “One day you don’t want me around, we go weeks without seeing each other, then you’re at my place cooking me dinner? You said you needed space, I gave you space."

“Woah woah woah, what do you mean I don’t want you around?” Chan asks, alarmed. “When have I ever said that?”

“You made it pretty clear that you didn’t appreciate it when I went to bring you dinner that day,” you start.

“No, baby!” Chan stands up abruptly before you can say anything else. He falters when the loud scrape of his chair causes you to flinch back. He slowly walks towards you and kneels in front of you, reaching out to hold your hands in his. His eyes are wide with earnestness. “Of course I wanted to spend time with you. I always want to be with you.”

“So why did you call me clingy?” you ask in a small voice. Gone is your anger, replaced with a self-consciousness that you can’t hide. You look away as tears prickle your eyes.

Gently, Chan lets go of your hands and cups your cheeks instead, turning your face so that he can see you better. His thumbs swipe under your eyes, brushing away the tears that have managed to escape.

“Baby,” he says, sounding even more upset and angry than you feel. “I'm sorry. Did someone tell you I said that?”

“Nobody had to tell me, I heard you say it myself!” you burst out, pushing Chan away. You know that you’re being dramatic, that you keep oscillating between different emotions, but you don’t care. “That day, in your studio, you told Han and Changbin that I was really clingy.”

“You heard me talking to Binnie and Hannie?” Chan asks slowly.

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sniffle. One of Chan's hands shifts and he carefully tucks behind a lock of hair that has fallen in front of your face. The gentleness makes even more tears well up.

“It's okay, I think I know what you overheard now. It must have hurt, right?”

You can't muster up a response, choosing instead to just nod slightly.

“I’m sorry, I'm sorry,” he soothes you. “Can I explain myself?”

You pause for a moment, then slowly nod again.

“I don't mind that you're clingy, actually, I like it. I shouldn't have used that word. I like that you want to spend time with me, Y/n,” Chan says carefully. “I like that you take time to visit me, even though I know that your work is busy too. I think that it's cute and thoughtful that you think of me and try to take care of me by bringing me food. I know that you intentionally take the time out of your day to text me because you know that I like hearing from you, even though I might not see it or respond right away.”

Chan pauses for a second and you use it as an opportunity to pull away slightly. His hands tighten briefly, before he lets them fall away, giving you the space to process.

It's not that you don't like what Chan is saying, it's just hard to reconcile it with the thoughts that have been eating away at you for the past few weeks. You still don't understand what you overheard though, how it fits into all of this. When you voice your concerns to Chan, he sighs, before continuing to speak.

“I don't know what I did to have someone as caring and thoughtful as you in my life.” You want to protest, but Chan carries on before you can say anything. “It's just that- you visited me without notice and were the sweetest person in the world. I wanted to spend time with you, believe me, I did, but I can't just ignore my deadlines when the rest of the members are relying on me. It makes me feel like garbage when I can’t give you all my attention. That's the thing I hate the most. That I can't be the boyfriend that you deserve. That I can't show you how much you mean to me the way that I want to.”

It makes sense, in some sort of twisted way. You know that similarly to you, Chan often feels insecure. It had taken a while before you had been able to convince him that you really did want to be in a relationship with him even with all of the difficulties that were associated with being an idol. You hadn't realised that your visit had fed into his worries that he wasn’t enough.

“I didn't know,” you say quietly. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, I didn't tell you how I was feeling and that's on me. I’m the one that’s sorry, you have no reason to be. I should have been clearer about what was going through my mind and it wasn't any excuse for the way that spoke to you. Even if I wasn't at my best, I can't believe that I made you feel like I didn't want you to be around.” Chan shakes his head and you can tell that he's beating himself up about it. This time, you're the one that reaches out to him, grabbing one of his hands in both of yours.

“I am sorry that I put you into that position, though. I got caught up in the idea of how fun and romantic it might be, that I didn't give enough consideration to your schedule. Even though I wanted to surprise you, it would have been better to check with you beforehand. I don't ever want you to have to feel like you have to choose between me and work.”

“It was a really nice surprise,” Chan agrees. “I wish that I hadn't been so wrapped up that I wasn't able to enjoy spending time with you. I really hated not being able to see you these past few weeks.”

“It was really hard for me too,” you admit.

“I missed you so much. I missed your beautiful voice, hearing your laugh, seeing your smile. I missed all the texts that you usually send, they make me feel like I'm not as far away, that I'm a part of your day too. You kept saying that everything was fine and- I know it's hard for you, especially during comeback periods when I'm not as responsive. I didn't want to pressure you into messaging me more often if I'm not able to do the same.”

“No, it's not that. It doesn't bother me. Work was, is still really busy for me,” you explain. “I was trying to tell you that day, but-”

“But I basically shut you down,” Chan realises. He laughs bitterly. “I’m just the worst, aren't I? No wonder you were so confused by why I was here.”

“I thought you were going to break up with me tonight,” you whisper. Chan looks devastated by your statement.

 “No- you know I wouldn't-” Chan stumbles on his words in his haste to correct you.

“I don't think that anymore,” you reassure him. “I understand everything now, it was just that we didn't communicate well and I assumed… It's okay, we're together now, this won't happen again.”

“I promise that I will make it up to you. I love you and I will prove it to you in every way possible. And I'm going to start right now. You still haven't eaten yet, please go ahead.” Chan moves back to his abandoned chair and doles out a portion of the stew from the pot that's on the table. 

“I am really hungry,” you confess. Your stomach chooses that exact moment to growl loudly and the two of you can’t help but burst into laughter. 

Just like that, it feels like things are back to normal.

You know that there's still more that you and Chan have to talk about. The two of you have only scratched the surface on your insecurities, communication, and how those things led to such a significant misunderstanding.

But tonight, it's enough that you get to share a meal with the man that you love.

read it on ao3 | masterlist

[harrysfolklore]

little bitch - cs55

summary: yn piastri and carlos sainz absolutely hate each other. carlos thinks she’s immature, yn calls him a little bitch on social media. they also kiss every now and then. PART TWO

word count: over 10k + social media posts

folkie radio: guys this fic is my baby okay 🥲🥲 please take care of it i spent like two weeks writing it. FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED !!

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

2023 SEASON

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ynpiastri that’s my optimistic little brother cry about it 😚 see y’all after the break

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username1 LAJSIA SO MESSY

username2 yn really said you will NAWT mess with my little brother

lilyzneimer Love you forever 😂

↳ ynpiastri ilysm

username3 the sainz - piastri drama just spiced this season up

mclaren That’s our boy 🧡

username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri fighting on the internet and oscar is just 🧍

username5 the fact that daniel ricciardo and pierre gasly liked yn’s tweet too 😭

landonorris Stop fighting people on the internet please

↳username1 HELP HIS BESTIES ARE FIGHTING

↳ ynpiastri never 😤

oscarpiastri When nobody got me I know my messy sister got me

↳ username2 I LOVE THEM SM

↳ yourinstagram HE SAID NO PICKLES !!

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"You didn't have to tweet that," Oscar said, giving you a look from his seat.

You were currently traveling from Belgium to Monaco in McLaren's private jet after the race weekend, and the main topic of the day was your little message to Carlos Sainz after his statement about your brother.

"Osc, he's being a petty bitch," you shrugged, "He keeps blaming you for what happened on the track and we all know it was his fault."

"Lando, can you help me out please?" Oscar looked at his teammate, who was immersed on his phone as a way to avoid the conversation.

"Oh no, don't put me in the middle of this," Lando shook his head, "I have enough PR issues myself."

"We know you're siding with your bestie anyways," you said, making him roll his eyes.

This dynamic was nothing new. Lando and Carlos Sainz were best friends, and so were Lando and you. The issue? You couldn't stand Carlos at all, and Lando was always in the middle of your bickering.

Oscar sighed, rubbing his temples as he glanced out of the window. "Look, I appreciate you standing up for me, but sometimes it's better to let things slide. Engaging with him on social media only adds fuel to the fire."

He had a point. Deep down you knew it, however, your were short tempered and protective towards your loved ones, so it was natural that you took the chance to come for Sainz's neck when he gave you a reason to.

"I get it, Osc. I just can't stand seeing him drag your name through the mud when you're not even at fault," you stressed, "You're my little brother, I'll always get protective, you know?"

"I know, and I appreciate you having my back," Oscar said, softening his tone. "But it's not worth it. Like you said, I'm not engaging with whatever he's saying so there's no point of starting stuff."

"He started it, I'm just finishing it," you shrugged, and Oscar gave you a pointed look, you were older than him, but he was definitely more mature than you. "Fine, I'll try to hold back next time," you sighed, leaning back in your seat.

Lando finally looked up from his phone, a smirk on his face. "See, that wasn't too hard, was it? Now, can we all be friends?"

"If that includes Sainz then no, we can't,"

You could never be friends with Carlos Sainz. That was literally impossible.

For starters, you were pretty sure he didn't even know your name, he was always too full of himself to even acknowledge those around him.

And lastly, he was a bitch to your brother on and off track.

"I just, I would really like for you two to get along," Lando said and you immediately rolled your eyes at his words, "You're both important to me, and it sucks being caught in the middle. Plus I don't even understand why do you dislike him so much."

You knew the real reason why you disliked him so much, you perfectly did. However, that was a subject that you decided to ignore every single time.

"Honestly? I find him arrogant. He always acts like he's the center of the universe. He never takes responsibility for his actions and always tries to shift the blame onto others. It's frustrating to watch."

Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I get it, but you have to understand, Carlos is actually a good guy once you get to know him. He's passionate and competitive, sure, but he's also loyal and a great friend."

"I get that he's like your hero or something," you teased, "But it's not going to happen, Lando. I don't think I'll ever like Carlos, and I really wish you’d stop pushing the subject."

"Look, you don't have to be his best friend or something," Oscar intervened, "Just promise me you won't punch him when you see him in the paddock after the summer break."

"No promises."

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

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ynpiastri a weekend in monaco with some of my favorite people 🤍 back to race cars soooon (love being a nepo sister)

tagged: oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris

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username1 SLAAAY

username2 ahhhh lily x oscar content thank u yn

francisca.cgomes having major fomo rn, love you all babies 🥲

↳ ynpiastri get over hereeeee

username3 she has the dream life

charles_leclerc Stop stealing my girlfriend from me thank you

↳ ynpiastri never

↳ alexandrasaintmleux We’re like this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

↳ charles_leclerc Don’t do this to me

lilyzneimer 🤍

oscarpiastri I think you just invented the term “nepo sister”

↳ ynpiastri and i’m too iconic for that

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

Going to Jimmy'z the last day of the summer break was a tradition among the drivers at this point.

You looked forward to it, for you, nothing could beat a night of loud music, drinks and friends. You thought that was the reason you got along with Lando and quickly became best friends.

“Ready to tear up the dance floor?” Lando shouted over the music, giving you smirk

“Always!” you replied, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the center of the action, Oscar and Lily being their introvert selves decided to stay at the table with some of your friends.

After a few songs, you returned to the table to catch your breath and order another round of drinks.

Oscar looked up from his conversation with Lily and smiled as you approached.

“Having fun?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” you replied, taking a seat next to him. “You two should join us on the dance floor.”

Lily laughed softly. “Maybe later. Right now, we’re enjoying people-watching.”

“Suit yourselves,” you said, shrugging, "I'm going to the bar, does anyone want anything?"

Oscar shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good."

"I'll have another gin and tonic," Lily said, giving you a warm smile.

"Got it," you replied, turning towards the bar.

As you made your way through the crowded club, you found an open spot at the bar and flagged down the bartender. As you waited for your drinks, you felt someone step up beside you. Glancing to your left, you saw the last person you wanted to run into tonight... or ever.

Carlos Sainz was standing there with what you called his "resting bitch face" and acting like he owned the place.

You knew chances of him being at Jimmy'z for the last day of the summer break were high and you had decided earlier that you were just going to ignore him for the night if you ever ran into him. After all, you were there to have fun, not to get into a confrontation. But you were known for being short-tempered, a stark contrast to your brother's laid-back demeanor.

When you heard Carlos order his drink without so much as a “please,” you couldn't help but call him out.

"Whiskey, neat," he ordered, his tone clipped and lacking any form of politeness, his Spanish accent that you found absolutely irritating coming through.

“A 'please' would be nice, you know,” you interjected.

Carlos turned to you, his brow furrowing. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” you replied coolly. “It's not hard to be polite.”

"Do I know you?" Carlos stared at you for a moment before recognition dawned. “Oh you're Piastri's sister, aren't you?”

“That I am,” you confirmed, your tone equally cold.

“Figures," Carlos scoffed, shaking his head, "You’re the one who sent me that lovely message on Twitter.”

“You deserved every word,” you replied, crossing your arms.

“Did I now?” Carlos leaned closer, his expression hardening. “You don't even know the whole story. You just assume I'm the bad guy because of Oscar."

“I know enough,” you shot back. “I know you never take responsibility for your actions. You always blame someone else.”

“And what about you?," Carlos’s jaw tightened, "Hiding behind your keyboard, throwing insults. That's real mature.”

“Someone had to say it,” you replied, refusing to back down. “You can't just go around acting like you're untouchable.”

“And you can't go around thinking you're some kind of vigilante,” Carlos retorted. “Can't your little brother handle things himself?.”

“Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, people wouldn't have to call you out,” you snapped, feeling your temper flare.

Carlos sighed, clearly frustrated. “Look, I don't have time for this. Just stay out of my way, alright?”

“Gladly,” you replied, turning away from him.

When you rejoined your friends, they noticed your tense expression. Lando shot you a questioning look, but you just shook your head.

"Ask you bestie," you simply said and Lando threw his head back in frustration, once again, he was in the middle of his two best friends tension.

“I’ll talk to him," Lando said, sipping on his drink.

"Don't bother, he's a bitch."

Later that night, Lando found Carlos near the dancefloor chatting with some friends. He pulled him aside, needing to get to the bottom of the latest incident.

“What happened with YN now?” Lando asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

Carlos shrugged before speaking, “I was minding my own business, ordering a drink, and she just came at me."

“And?” Lando raised an eyebrow.

“And she’s just so immature and arrogant,” Carlos continued, “She’s always ready to pick a fight over the smallest things. It’s embarrassing.”

Lando shook his head. “Look, Carlos, YN is protective of Oscar. She sees you two butting heads and she gets defensive. It’s not ideal, but it’s not like she’s completely unreasonable.”

“Well, she sure seems unreasonable to me," Carlos crossed his arms, "I don’t know how you deal with it.”

Lando sighed. “She’s my friend, and so are you. I wish you two could just get along, but I know that’s asking a lot. Just... try to give her a bit of slack, alright? She’s not a bad person.”

"She's insufferable."

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username1 HEEEELP

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↳ ynpiastri you’re literally the only ferrari i like..

↳ username3 she really hates carlos i’m screaming

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The Ferrari hospitality was the last place you wanted to be during a Grand Prix, the mere thought of it being the place where Sainz (or as you liked to call him, the little bitch), was most likely to be kept you away from it.

However, Alex told you to meet her there after the Qualifying so you could leave together for dinner. Oscar and Lando already left with the rest of the team, so you had no choice but to wait for your friend.

"Looking for someone, hermosa?" your eyes immediately rolled without even turning around to see who was speaking, the thick Spanish accent that you despised filling your ears.

"Not for you, that's for sure," you said, not even bothering to face him.

"Are you sure? Because this is not the McLaren garage, did your little bro finally kick you out or something?"

"Sainz," you retorted sharply, finally turning to face him, "Shouldn't you be busy making excuses for your next mediocre performance on track?"

"Ah, always so angry, Piastri," he chuckled, unfazed by your hostility, "Maybe you're just frustrated because you're not getting enough attention. I could help with that."

"I don't need or want anything from you," you shot back, your voice laced with irritation.

Carlos leaned casually against a nearby wall, his smirk widening. "Come on, hermosa, you know you've got a temper. Maybe you just need to let off some steam."

Hermosa, the word he used often when he wanted to get to your skin. When you first heard it, you had no idea of what it meant. You were never good at learning Spanish growing up. But after a quick google translation search you found out that it meant beautiful. And for some reason you felt like throwing up.

"Believe me, Sainz, you're the last person I'd ever turn to," you replied icily, folding your arms across your chest, "And don't call me that."

He chuckled again, seemingly enjoying your discomfort. You wondered how Lando could be friends with him when he was nothing but an arrogant little bitch, and you cursed Alexandra for taking so long to get her stuff from hospitality.

"I hope you know that you have some serious issues, Sainz," you said, your patience wearing thin as his cocky stare weighted on you.

"Issues? Me?," Carlos raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by your anger, "I think you're the one with the problem, querida. Like I said, maybe you need to get laid. I could help you with that, your brother won't find out."

Your eyes narrowed, your blood boiled to the point where you could feel your skin burning up. If it wasn't for the all the people around, you swore you could've punched him.

You took a step closer to him, your voice dropping to a deadly whisper. "I hope your car sets itself on fire so you're not able to race tomorrow."

Carlos's smirk only widened, he was well aware that he got into your skin and he enjoyed every minute of it. Before he could respond, Alex finally appeared, her eyes flicking between the two of you with a mix of curiosity and concern.

"Ready to go?" she asked, sensing the tension.

"More than ready," you replied, shooting Carlos one last glare before turning to leave with Alex.

The next day, news spread quickly through the paddock that Carlos' car had suffered a mechanical failure during the warm-up, rendering him unable to compete in the Qatar Grand Prix. Meanwhile, Oscar had won the Sprint and finished P2 in the race.

Karma got that little bitch, you thought to yourself

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username1 i’m going to miss this season sm

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username4 highlight of the season was the piastri - sainz beef

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↳ ynpiastri that’s what big sisters are for

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The end of the 2023 season was a blur of celebrations, laughter, and champagne showers. Oscar had closed off the season as the Rookie of the Year and you couldn't be more proud of him, you were grateful you got to be by his side through it.

And of course, with the end of the season a celebration at Jimmy'z was in order, all drivers, their girlfriends and friends pulling up to Monaco for one last night of partying before the winter break.

You had stuck close to Lando and Oscar for most of the evening, since it was a special occasion, you decided not to hold back with your drinking and have as much fun as you wanted, Lando being your partner in crime as always.

So by 2 a.m, you were pretty drunk, not to the point where you couldn't stand on your own feet, but drunk enough to make a couple of bad decisions.

With that thought on your mind, you decided that it was time to find your brother or best friend and call it a night. But for some reason, both of them were nowhere to be found.

Stumbling through the crowded dance floor, you made your way toward the back of the club, hoping to spot them. The alleyway was dark and you couldn't see a single thing, but they weren't definitely back there.

"Fancy seeing you here, hermosa," a voice behind drawled, almost making you jump.

"What the actual fuck!" you said, holding a hand to your chest.

Of course it was fucking Carlos Sainz, once again

"You scared the hell out of me!" you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, "Do you hide in dark alleyways like a creep all the time?"

"Slow down, hermosa, why are you so angry all the time?" his Spanish accent was thicker than usual, a clear sign that he was as tipsy as you were.

"I'm not in the mood for your games tonight," you retorted, trying to brush past him.

"Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble," he said, blocking your path with an easy grace. "Though you do seem to find me wherever you go."

"Only because you insist on being everywhere I am," you shot back, folding your arms over your chest.

"Or maybe you just can't resist my charm," he teased, leaning casually against the wall.

"Charm? Is that what you call it?" you scoffed, "More like arrogance and an inflated ego."

"Arrogance? No. Confidence? Absolutely," he replied with a smirk, "And I think you secretly like it."

"You're delusional," you muttered, feeling the alcohol clouding your judgment. "I can't stand you."

"Is that so?" he said, stepping closer. "Because you seem pretty invested in this conversation for someone who supposedly hates me."

True

"Maybe because you won't let me leave," you said, your voice rising in frustration.

"Or maybe because you've spent the entire season trying to get my attention by being rude to me and blasting me on social media, calling me a little bitch and all."

"I was defending Oscar," you snapped. "You kept messing with him on track. Someone had to call you out."

Carlos shook his head, his cocky smirk even bigger now. "It was never about Oscar, and you know it."

"God, I hate you," you said, ready to walk away but he blocked your way one more time.

"No, you don't," he replied, a knowing smile on his lips. "You just hate that you can't help but get all hot and bothered whenever I'm around."

"You're really are such a little bitch," you spat, but even as the words left your mouth, you felt a strange thrill.

"And you're a firecracker, Piastri. That's what makes this so fun."

"You're so full of yourself," you retorted, but the words lacked their usual bite. The alcohol was making it hard to keep up your defenses, and Carlos's close proximity was doing strange things to your resolve.

"Maybe," he conceded, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. "But I think you like it more than you let on."

Before you could argue back, Carlos took another step closer, his body almost pressing against yours. The tension between you crackled like electricity, and despite your best efforts, you found yourself unable to pull away.

"You're infuriating," you muttered, your heart pounding in your chest.

"And you," he said, his breath warm against your ear, "are insufferable."

Without another word, he closed the gap between you, capturing your lips in a fierce, almost desperate kiss. It was a collision of anger, frustration, and undeniable chemistry, and you couldn't help but respond in kind.

Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you kissed him back with equal fervor. His hands roamed down your back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you.

What the hell was happening?

For a moment, all the animosity, all the bickering, melted away. It was messy, it was intense, and it was everything you hadn't realized you wanted.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and dazed, you could see the same mix of surprise and desire reflected in Carlos' eyes.

Before either of you could say anything, you were interrupted by Lando's voice calling out your name. You quickly stepped back, putting some distance between you and Carlos as Lando approached, a curious look on his face.

"Everything okay here?" Lando asked, glancing between the two of you.

"Just fine," you replied, giving Carlos a final, challenging look. "Just fine."

Carlos nodded, his smirk returning. "See you around, Piastri."

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texts between lando and yn

texts between carlos and lando

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2024 SEASON

Formula 1 was back and in full swing. And with that your "nepo sister" privileges, which included traveling with Oscar for races came back too.

You were excited for this season, Oscar was no longer a rookie and he had a lot to prove, and you couldn't wait to see him rise to the challenge.

In addition to that, this season was going to be extra interesting, since the news of your least favorite driver on the grid (or at least the one you swore you hated) being replaced by Lewis Hamilton in Ferrari were announced a few weeks prior.

"Did you hear the news?" Oscar asked, making his way to you.

"What news?" you replied, setting down your coffee cup.

"Lewis Hamilton is moving to Ferrari next season," Oscar said, watching your reaction closely.

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, what? So the little bitch is out?"

Oscar nodded. "Yeah, it's going to be an interesting season."

Carlos Sainz was both a source of irritation and inexplicable attraction. You had tried to push the memory of that kiss at Jimmy'z to the back of your mind all winter long, but you just couldn't stop thinking about it.

Plus, Lando was firm on his mission of making wither of you confess that apparently you "liked each other", which made ignoring the whole situation even harder.

You just hoped that he would keep it chill this season, not bothering either you or Oscar so you could just pretend he didn't exist.

With that thought on your mind, you made your way back to the hotel. You spent the day exploring around Bahrain with Oscar and Lando, and now you were ready to unwind in your room. The boys deciding to spend a few more hours walking around before heading back.

Once in the lobby, you stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for your floor. Just as the doors were about to close, a familiar hand slipped in, forcing them open.

Carlos Sainz stepped inside, his ever-present smirk firmly in place.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, they say.

"Not going to say hello, querida?" he said after a few seconds of complete silence from you, leaning against the elevator wall.

"Carlos. Still popping up where you're least wanted, I see," you rolled your eyes, folding your arms over your chest.

"Missed you too, Piastri," he chuckled, pushing off the wall to stand closer you, "How was your break?"

"Great, thanks for asking," you replied coolly. "Did you enjoy yours, planning how to be a pain to other drivers this season too?"

"Is that really how you want to start our first conversation of the season?" Carlos raised an eyebrow, "I though we've left that in the past, specially after what happened at the end of last year."

You tensed at his statement. More than once during the break, you wondered if he remembered what happened that night. He was as drunk was you were, if not more, so you convinced yourself that he had forgotten about it.

"I don't remember much from that night. Must have been the champagne."

Carlos leaned in slightly, his voice low and teasing. "Oh, I think you remember perfectly well. Especially the kiss."

Your heart skipped a beat, but you kept your expression neutral. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Playing dumb doesn't suit you," he said with a chuckle. "But fine, we'll pretend it never happened. For now."

"Good," you replied sharply. "Because I have no intention of discussing it."

"Maybe you're playing dumb because you want me to kiss you again," Carlos teased, making you throw your head back in frustration.

"I'd rather choke on my own spit, little bitch,"

"Ahh, missed hearing that," Carlos said, his tone cocky and satisfied with your frustration. You mentally cursed the elevator for taking so long to get to your fucking floor.

"You know what? I hope you don't find a seat for next season at all. You act like a total peacock when everyone knows you're basically unemployed right now," you spitted out before you could even think twice.

Carlos raised an eyebrow, his expression momentarily serious. "Low blow, Piastri. Even for you."

You held his gaze defiantly, refusing to back down. "Just stating the obvious."

The elevator finally dinged, announcing your floor, and you stepped out swiftly, eager to end the conversation before it could escalate further.

Carlos Sainz had a way of getting under your skin like no one else, and the season had only just begun.

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username1 ICON IS BACKKKK

username2 nooo we need you to keep dragging sainz

mclaren Our favorite nepo sister 🧡

↳ ynpiastri that’s meeee

username3 yn always gives us lily x oscar content bless her

charles_leclerc What if I need you to fight someone from the grid for me?

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↳ username1 HER HATRED FOR CARLOS LIVES

lilyzneimer love youuu✨

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↳ ynpiastri you’re so strange sometimes

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It was a sunny day in Melbourne, and the paddock was buzzing with excitement. The Australian Grand Prix was always a favorite, and this year was no exception.

You felt good to be back home, you always felt proud when you saw Oscar on the track, but seeing him racing in your home country was something even more special.

Carlos was also back from his emergency surgery and ready to race again. And even though you would never admit it out loud, you were relieved to see him back and healthy. The news of his appendicitis had shocked you more than you’d expected, and you’d found yourself genuinely concerned about his wellbeing.

I'm just being a decent human being, you tried to convince yourself, It would be really scary if that happened to Oscar or Lando.

Walking through the paddock, you looked for a familiar face to hang out with before it was time for the track action to start, spotting Lando's back talking to someone you couldn't quite identify, you decided to approach him.

As you got closer, Lando shifted slightly, revealing the person he was talking to, Carlos.

He looked well, a healthy glow back in his cheeks, his smile easy and relaxed. He was wearing his team gear, the Ferrari red suiting him perfectly. His dark hair was slightly tousled, and despite the casual setting, he looked effortlessly handsome for someone who had a major surgery just two weeks ago.

Your stomach did a little flip. You hated to admit it, but lately your hatred towards Carlos had cooled down. Maybe it was the memory of that kiss, seeing him vulnerable after his surgery or the fact that he had been decent to Oscar so far. You couldn't deny that there was something about him that made you feel… softer.

However, you decided to ignore those thoughts and feelings every time they got to your head, because at the end of the day, there was no way he could ever feel or think the same way. It was better to keep hating each other.

Lando noticed you approaching and gave you a teasing grin. "Hey, YN! Look who’s back from the dead!"

Carlos turned to face you, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. "Hey, Piastri," he greeted with a warm smile. "Back to your home turf, huh?"

"Yeah," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual despite the flutter in your chest. "It feels good to be back."

Lando gave Carlos a pat on the shoulder. "I'll catch up with you later, mate," he said, winking at you before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.

You stood there for a moment, awkward silence filling the air. Maybe he was still tired from what he had been through, but he didn't show any signs of cockiness or wanting to annoy you this time.

"You look well," you finally said, your voice softer than usual. "I'm glad you're back."

Carlos chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "I heard you were worried about me."

"Don't let it go to your head," you replied quickly, though the usual bite in your tone was missing. You felt a bit embarrassed that he knew, "I’m just being a decent human being."

"Of course," Carlos said, his voice nonchalant, "Decent human being, sure."

"I’m serious," you insisted, though your voice lacked the usual edge. "But I am glad you’re okay. It must have been scary."

Carlos’s expression softened. "It was. But I had good doctors, and I’m ready to race again. Thanks for worrying."

There was silence again, and you noticed that this was the first time you and Carlos had an interaction that didn't include biting each other's heads off.

It felt nice.

"Well," you said after a minute of silence, "don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you had surgery. You're still on my watch."

"Wouldn’t have it any other way," Carlos smirked, "But for the record, it’s nice to see you care, even if you won’t admit it."

"Don't push your luck, Sainz," you warned, but there was a hint of playfulness in your voice.

"I wouldn't dare, Piastri."

"I should get going," you said, pointing towards the McLaren hospitality, "Good luck out there."

As you turned to walk away, Carlos's voice stopped you in your tracks.

You glanced back at him, eyebrows raised in question.

"You know, this is the first time you don't call me a little bitch," Carlos said, a small playing on his face.

"What, you miss it already? Does it turn you own?"

"Maybe a little," Carlos chuckled, "Keeps things interesting."

You shook your head, trying to hide the smile that threatened to spread across your face.

"Well, good luck out there, little bitch."

You didn't wait to see his reaction, but you knew he was grinning from ear to ear.

Later that day, Carlos crossed the finish line first and won the Australian Grand Prix, sending the crowd into a frenzy. You watched as Carlos celebrated on the podium, spraying champagne with Lando and Charles and holding up the winner's trophy with pride.

You swore you played it cool, but everyone around you noticed the huge smile on your face.

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username1 AUSSIE QUEEN

username2 omfg included a picture of sainz win??

↳ username1 how pissed do you think she was bc he won in australia

↳ username3 i love that she didn’t tag him tho 😭

alexandrasaintmleux Mama piastri >> 🫶

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↳ oscarpiastri Aussie traditions mate

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"You're not my best friend," Lando said, sitting on the plush couch of your hotel room, watching as you put a sweatshirt on, "You've been replaced with an alien or an evil twin, there's no way you're YN Piastri."

"Can you quit being dramatic," you rolled your eyes at him, "It's no big deal."

"You're grabbing sushi with Carlos Sainz," he stressed, moving his hands to emphasize, "You hate Carlos Sainz, it's been an issue for me for the last year because both of you force me to pick sides and I have to make sure you don't kill each other. And now you're suddenly going on dates."

"This is not a date," you protested, "Don't even say that out loud, it's gross."

"Then what is it? Because he asked you out and you said yes, that's literally a date."

You didn't give him a reply right away, hiding behind your your busy hands as you pretended to adjust your sweatshirt.

Truth was, you didn’t have an answer, at least not one that made sense. You couldn't blame Lando for thinking you've been replaced with someone else, because you'd never accept anything from Carlos last year, let alone willingly grab dinner with him.

But here you were, about to head out to meet him.

"I just want free dinner," you shrugged, "And he offered to buy it, so I'm taking advantage of it."

"Sure, free dinner," Lando gave you a skeptical look, crossing his arms, "Because you’ve never had other options for free dinner before, right? Your brother is rich, he could buy you whatever you want."

You huffed, trying to sound annoyed but feeling a bit defensive. "It's just sushi, Lando. Stop making it a big deal."

"You know, it's okay if you like him," he said, his tone genuine. "I mean, I get why you're hesitant, but it's fine to have feelings for someone, even if it's Carlos Sainz."

"Are you out of your mind?" you immediately said, your voice sharper than intended, "We're talking about the little bitch, what on earth makes you think that I could have feelings for him other than disgust and irritation."

"I don't know, maybe the fact that you're getting ready to get dinner with him, or that you were on the edge of your seat worrying the entire time he was recovering from the surgery, or the time I almost caught you kiss-"

"God, just shut up," you interrupted him, "Oscar would understand. He knows I'm never going to get all lovey-dovey over Carlos."

"Oscar might buy whatever you tell him," Lando raised an eyebrow, "But that doesn't mean you're being honest with yourself. It's not the end of the world to admit you might have a crush."

"I do not have a crush on him," you insisted, your cheeks heating up. "It's just... complicated."

"Complicated how?" Lando pressed, leaning forward. "Because from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty straightforward. You’re intrigued by him, he’s intrigued by you, and you both can’t seem to stay away from each other."

You let his words sink in, Lando might be a year younger than you, and often perceived as a carefree guy who didn't have a serious bone in his body. But in reality, he was a very wise person who understood the complexities of situations better than most.

That was one of the reasons why he was your best friend.

"Look, it’s not that simple," you sighed, rubbing your temples, "We have history, and not the good kind. I don't trust him, and I don’t think he trusts me either. We're just… trying to be civil for once."

"That's good," Lando stood up from the couch, sitting beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, "Honestly I was tired of dealing with your constant bickering, if you didn't kiss and make up on your own, I was going to lock you up in a closet until you resolved it."

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username1 BESTIEEEE

username2 THIS LOOKS LIKE A DATE

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↳ username1 LET ME INNNN

f1gossip 👀

username3 CARLOS SAINZ ???

↳ username1 girl no way they hate each other

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landonorris IM FREEEEE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFEEEE

↳ username1 wtfffff

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───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

After a nice dinner and a couple of drinks, you and Carlos walked back to the hotel. The sushi had been surprisingly good, and the conversation… surprisingly pleasant.

The bickering between you was still present, but this time it wasn't harsh or spiteful, it was playful and and light-hearted. The tension that usually accompanied your interactions had lessened, and you actually acted friendly towards each other.

"I still can't believe you made me try that weird seaweed thing," you said, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked.

"You loved it, admit it," Carlos chuckled.

"Maybe a little," you conceded with a small smile, "How did you know this place anyways?"

"I like reading restaurant reviews online," he shrugged, "It's a random hobby of mine, and I'm going to need those in case I don't have a job next year."

You paused, his words sinking in. Carlos joked about it, but you knew the uncertainty of his future in Formula 1 must be horrible. The sport is cutthroat, and the thought of not finding a seat to race must be weighing on him heavily. It made you think about Oscar, and how that could happen to him too.

"I'm sorry for saying that I hope you don't find a seat next season," you blurted out, feeling a pang of guilt. "You're right, that was low, even for me."

"Are you really apologizing, Piastri?" he teased, "First you cared about my health, now you apologize. What's next? You'll stop calling me a little bitch?"

You rolled your eyes, but there was no malice behind it. "Don't push your luck, Sainz. Just take the apology and run with it."

"Alright, I'll take it," Carlos laughed, a genuine sound that made your heart skip a beat, "You must be praying I stay just so you have an excuse to argue with me, aren't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself," you shot back, grinning. "I can argue with anyone."

"But you like arguing with me the most," he said, his voice softening.

You didn't reply, the truth in his words making your heart race. From the corner of your eye, you saw the satisfied grin on his face.

Soon enough you reached the hotel lobby, and once you walked through the doors you spotted Charles and Alexandra by the reception desk.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Charles called out, drawing the attention of Alex, who looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"Just coming back from dinner," you replied, trying to keep your tone casual. "What are you two up to?"

"We were just about to head up," Alexandra said, linking her arm with Charles's. "How was dinner?"

"Surprisingly good," Carlos said, glancing at you with a smirk.

Charles raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "This is new. You two actually getting along?"

"Don't get used to it," you said, rolling your eyes. "I just wanted free dinner."

"Right," Charles said, not convinced. "Well, we're heading up, you coming?"

You all piled into the elevator, the small space filled with a mix of comfortable silence and light conversation. When the elevator reached your floor, you stepped out, Carlos following close behind.

"Goodnight, guys," Alex called out as the elevator doors closed, giving you a look that screamed 'TEXT ME ASAP'

Carlos walked you to your room, the hallway dimly lit and quiet. As you walked side by side, the occasional brush of his arm against yours sent small shivers down your spine.

"So, the only reason you agreed to come with me tonight was because you wanted free dinner?" Carlos asked once you reached your room.

"Exactly, what else do you think would make me want to spend an evening with you?"

Carlos chuckled, leaning against the wall beside your door. "I don't know, maybe my charming personality and good looks?"

"Charming?" you raised your eyebrows at him, "You're literally the most annoying person I know."

"Likewise, Piastri," Carlos shot back, his smirk widening, "But here we are, aren't we?"

"You really think you're that special, don't you?" you said, rolling your eyes.

"I know I am, querida," Carlos replied, stepping closer. "And you can't get enough of me."

You looked away from him, his stare suddenly becoming overwhelming. He was really close, as close as he was the night you kissed at Jimmy'z, and even thinking about it has your neck crawling away in sweat.

"See? You can't even deny it." Carlos grinned, his eyes locking onto yours again, his voice dropping an octave as he took another step closer.

"Don't get any ideas," you warned, but your heart was racing, and you were sure he could hear it.

"I can't help it," he said softly, his face now inches from yours. "You bring out the best in me, Piastri."

"I still hate you," you whispered, your breath hitching as he leaned in even closer.

"No, you don't," Carlos whispered back, his lips brushing against yours.

Before you could protest, he closed the distance and kissed you. It was gentle at first, tentative, as if he was giving you a chance to pull away. But when you didn't, the kiss deepened, becoming more intense and filled with a raw passion that took your breath away.

Your hands found their way to his shoulders, gripping tightly as you kissed him back, losing yourself in the moment. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, a small smile playing on Carlos's lips.

"Goodnight, Piastri," he whispered, his voice husky.

Unable to move from your spot, you watched him walk through the corridor and disappear into the elevator doors, your mind still blurry about what happened just seconds ago.

You were fucked.

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TWITTER

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A playlist full of pop classics played as you got ready for Lando's millionth win celebration.

He took the win at the Miami Grand Prix and the next following days were full of partying and champagne. You were beyond happy for him, and willing to put up with his multiple celebrations of his well deserved win.

This time, the setting was not that over the top, just a casual dinner at his place in Monaco with his close friends.

"Can I come in?" you heard after a knock on Oscar's guest bedroom, the place where you stayed when visiting Monaco.

"Sure," you replied, quickly meeting with your brother's figure.

Oscar entered the room, a casual grin on his face. He glanced around before his eyes settled on you. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah," you replied, adjusting an earring. "I hope this is Lando's last celebration, I can't keep up anymore.

"He's definitely on a roll," Oscar chuckled, "You know, Carlos is going to be there."

"I know," you said, looking away from him for a moment and trying to keep your tone nonchalant.

"You do?" Oscar raised a eyebrow.

"He's Lando's best friend, Osc, it's obvious he'll be there."

Oscar nodded slowly, a knowing smile playing on his lips. "Right, of course. But you two have been getting close lately, haven't you? You didn't even come for his neck after Miami, and you always do that."

You sighed, knowing where this conversation was heading. There was no denying that there was something between you and Carlos, your friends might not know about the times you've kissed, but they definitely noticed the shift in your behavior towards each other.

You found yourself enjoying his company, looking forward to catch a glimpse of him every weekend and craving his touch. You don't know if he feels the same way, but the way he looks at you and finds ways to get you alone tells you he does.

Admitting this to Oscar felt like crossing a line, even though he had always encouraged you to be open about your feelings.

"We're just… getting along better. That's all," you muttered, "And you asked me to behave on social media this season, I'm trying to do that."

"That's bullshit, YN," Oscar shook his head, a teasing smile forming on his lips, "Come on, admit it. Maybe the real reason you didn't attack him this time is because you like him."

"Oscar, we're not having this conversation," you quickly became defensive, "I don't know why everyone insist on something that's far from the truth. I don't like Sainz."

"Sis, it's okay if you like him," Oscar said, his tone gentle but insistent. "You don't have to hide it from me."

You looked away, feeling conflicted. Ever since you first met Carlos, there was something about him that intrigued you, however, you were too caught up in convincing yourself that he would never see you as more than his brand new rival's sister. Things getting worse when his incidents with Oscar on track started and you took that as an opportunity to be reckless to him.

It was a self defense mechanism for your own feelings.

"It's complicated, okay?" you said, feeling vulnerable but knowing you could trust him, "We spent last year coming from each other's necks all the time, but now he's nice to me and I am too, we spend time together, we kiss. But at the same time, I feel like I can't trust him, that he's going to switch to little bitch mode again and I'll end up feeling stupid for potentially catching feelings."

"Holy shit you've kissed!" Oscar said, his eyes widening, "Lando was right all along."

"Oh god, I shouldn't have said anything," you threw your head back in frustration.

"Sorry, sorry," he put his hands up in defense, "But It's okay to feel confused. You can talk to me, you know. I'm your brother, and I just want you to be happy. I can tell that this is really bothering you."

You sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I just don't know what to do, Osc. One minute I think I might actually like him, and the next I'm terrified of getting hurt."

"Look, I know Carlos can be intense on track, but off track? He's a good guy," Oscar sat beside you, putting an arm around your shoulders, "When he's not trying to push me off the track, he's really supportive and a nice guy. There's a reason why Lando adores him. Plus, maybe he's figuring things out too."

You leaned into Oscar's side, grateful for his comforting presence. "Do you really think so?"

"Yeah, I do," Oscar nodded reassuringly. "And you deserve to give yourself a chance at happiness. If Carlos could make you happy, then why not see where it goes?"

"When did you become so wise?" you teased, giving him a small smile, "You're supposed to be my annoying little brother who picks his nose and runs around the house."

"Hey, I can be wise when I want to be," Oscar chuckled, giving you a playful shove, "But don't worry, I'll always be your annoying little brother, nose-picking and all."

You laughed, feeling some of the tension ease from your shoulders. "Thanks, Osc. I needed this."

"Anytime, sis," Oscar said warmly, giving you a quick hug. "Now, come on. Lando is probably drunk already and we haven't made it to his house yet."

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INSTAGRAM

liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux and 215,726 others

ynpiastri the rumors are true: lando norris keeps celebrating his miami win even tho it’s been a week

view all 3,967 comments

username1 so iconic tbh

username2 EXCUSE ME MISS IS THAT CARLOS SAINZ IN THE LAST PIC ??

↳ username1 i thought they hated each other 😭

danielricciardo 🙌

alexandrasaintmleux 👀 I see you

↳ ynpiastri and i don’t see you over her which means your boyfriend sucks for not bringing you

↳ charles_leclerc …..

landonorris IM V DRVNK OMG

↳ username3 i love him 😭😭😭😩

username4 carlos sainz and yn piastri the ultimate enemies to lovers lowkey

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You're not sure how it happened, but Carlos' arm laid casually in the back of your chair as you chatted with those around you. His fingers gently brushed your bare shoulder from time to time, his thigh pressed to yours under the table.

Maybe it was the couple glasses of champagne you both had, you're not sure. But you definitely didn't want to move from your spot.

No one dared to say anything about it, but your friends had teasing grins at the sight. You knew you'll have to deal with them later, but you decided to ignore it for the night.

"Alright, I think I'm calling it a night," Oscar said as he got up from his chair, Lando immediately booed, "Are you coming, YN?"

You looked at him with raised eyebrows, you definitely didn't want to leave yet, feeling too comfortable in Carlos' presence. In addition to that, you haven't had a chance to get him alone, and that was enough to not want the night to end.

After a minute of silence from you, Carlos spoke up, "I can give her a ride home if she doesn't want to leave yet," he offered, his voice smooth and nonchalant.

"Oh, a private chauffeur service now, Carlos? How fancy," Max teased from across the table, making the entire group laugh.

Oscar hesitated, glancing between you and Carlos, his protective instincts kicking in. "Are you okay with that, YN?"

"Yeah, I'm okay with it," you met Oscar's eyes and nodded, "Or I can just crash here, Lando is too drunk to notice anyway, don't want to cause much trouble."

"It's really no trouble," he insisted, his hand still resting gently on your shoulder. "I'll make sure you get home safely."

Oscar seemed to relax a bit, though you could tell he was still a little uneasy. "Alright then. Just... be careful, okay?"

"Don't worry, Osc," you replied, standing up and giving him a quick hug. "I'll see you tomorrow."

As Oscar left, the group continued to tease and laugh. You always enjoyed when the drivers were in a casual setting like this one, where they could forget about competition and teams and just hang out and have fun.

You stayed glued to Carlos the entire time, getting even closer as the night went on, you could feel your eyelids getting heavy, so you laid your head on his shoulder.

"You're falling asleep on me, hermosa," Carlos whispered to you, not moving your head from its place.

"I'm not," you protested, but at the same time you did a yawn escaped your mouth, which made Carlos laugh.

"Come on let's get you home," Carlos offered you his hand.

You took Carlos' hand, not even thinking twice about it. As you both stood to leave, your friends couldn't resist one last round of teasing.

"No funny business, Carlos," Charles called out, grinning widely. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at him. "We have Oscar on speed dial."

"Yeah, don't make me come after you, that's also my sister," Lando added, too drunk to even make sense.

You laughed, waving goodbye to everyone as you and Carlos made your way out. The cool night air was refreshing as you walked to his car, your hand still in his.

The drive to Oscar's place was quiet but comfortable. Carlos kept one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console close to you. You found yourself stealing glances at him, admiring the way the streetlights played over his features.

At one point, Carlos glanced over and caught you staring. "You're staring," he said, a smirk playing on his lips.

You felt your cheeks heat up but didn't look away. "Maybe I am," you replied, a teasing edge in your voice. "You have a problem with that?"

"Not at all, Piastri. Not at all."

When you arrived at Oscar's place, Carlos parked the car but you made no move to get out. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken words and lingering tension.

"Are you ready to stop pretending we hate each other?" Carlos asked suddenly, his voice low and earnest. "Because I am."

His words hung in the air, causing your heart to skip a beat. The intensity in his gaze made it clear he wasn't playing around or teasing you. He was being real and serious.

You took a deep breath, your eyes locking onto his. "Yeah, I am."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a kiss. His hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with a mix of tenderness and hunger. The world outside the car ceased to exist, and all that mattered was the way his kiss made you feel.

Carlos' other hand found its way to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as he pressed you closer. Your hands tangled in his hair, holding on as if letting go meant losing this moment forever.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to catch your breath. Carlos' eyes searched yours, a satisfied smile playing on his lips.

"But… I'm not ready to stop calling you a little bitch, though."

[pedrospatch]

run

Raider! Joel Miller x Female Reader

*moodboard is for aesthetic purposes only. no mention of reader’s race or skin tone.

summary: When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. RAIDER ERA. DARK!JOEL. DUBCON. MENTIONS PREVIOUS NONCON. UNSPECIFIED AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 50). reader is described washing her hair (the exact length is not specified) and she wears a dress. she is also shorter than Joel. violence, kidnapping, reader has major stockholm syndrome, Joel is fairly soft for her but HE IS STILL NOT A GOOD MAN, brief mention of Tess and Joel being involved with each other, Tess seems like the villain but she might actually be the only one of these three who is not totally fucked up in the head. SMUT. daddy kink. size difference (no description of reader’s body type, Joel is just a big guy with a big dick, enjoy it). oral sex (female receiving), super risky unprotected p in v sex (mention of reader ovulating, Joel pulls out, don’t be be like these two, practice safe sex), creampie (yeah he doesn’t give a fuck the second time around). many, many pet names (baby, baby girl, honey, angel, sweetheart, little girl). um i think that’s it. oh, and they fuck in the dirt.

PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS.

word count: 8.6k

a/n: one thing about me is i WILL soften up EVERY version of Joel Miller to my little heart’s content. HUGE HUGE thank you to @endlessthxxghts and @joelsdagger for lending me their eyes and beta-ing this fic for me last night. <33 i love and appreciate you guys SO MUCH. i loved seeing you both in the doc at the same exact time lmao. this can be read as a standalone, but it is considered part of the captive universe.

Everyone in the group has a job. Except for you.

Or at least, that’s what you hear them say.

That bitch doesn’t do shit.

She never has to lift a fucking finger.

She should work for her meal—just like the rest of us.

Bitterness laces their tones when they talk about you.

Insults grow a little bolder when he’s not around.

Useless.

Freeloader.

Leech.

You might not be out there with a rifle in hand hunting game or invading camps and spilling blood for supplies—but you do in fact have a job, and that job is to make Joel Miller happy. It is your responsibility, your duty, to please him, and to keep him satisfied. Because keeping him satisfied keeps him in a good mood, and one thing you’ve come to learn about your captor is, where there is a good mood, often there is mercy.

Hell, you’re doing them a favor by keeping their violent, fearsome leader in a good mood. Because you’ve seen what he does to them when he’s not. He can be just as brutal towards his own people as he is to strangers.

It doesn’t make a difference, though. They still see you as nothing more than his coddled little whore.

“Fuck, that’s it.”

He groans, his thick, callused fingers digging harshly into the softness of your flesh as he holds you firmly in place underneath him. “Oh fuck, baby girl,” Joel curses through gritted teeth, his hands gripping your hips as he uses his own weight against you, pressing you down into the old mattress until you feel every uncomfortable lump, each creaking spring.

While he isn’t fucking you as roughly as he has on other occasions, he’s hardly being gentle. It’s hard, fast.

Loud.

Joel couldn’t care less about the rest of the group, the men and women on the other side of the wall, forced to listen to the sounds coming from the single bedroom of the cabin he decided they would hunker down in for the remainder of the summer season. Strings of curses and brutish grunts that came rumbling from deep within his chest, pleading gasps and whimpers that fell from your swollen, bitten lips. If anything, knowing they were listening only spurred him on—it didn’t hurt to remind them, especially the men with wandering eyes, that you were his special girl.

His good girl.

You certainly did your job, and you did it so, so well.

“Christ, sweetheart. M’so fuckin’ close—” Joel picks up speed, his hips snapping even harder, faster, the front of his thighs slapping against the backs of yours. Each thrust causes the bed’s rusted, iron headboard to slam violently against the wood panel wall.

You clutch fistfuls of the single, stale, yellowing sheet beneath you, each stroke he delivers knocking the wind out of your lungs, making it harder to breathe. He is so heavy on top of you, this big, broad, bulk of a man who makes you feel swallowed, smothered, and small. Joel takes up so much room inside of you, and it’s a wonder how you could possibly have any space left to spare.

It’s a fullness you can’t seem to get enough of.

It’s a craving, a need.

Worst of all, it’s slowly becoming a want.

“Daddy,” you choke out, fisting the sheet tighter, your skin stretching taut over your knuckles. Can the others also hear the squelch of your drenched cunt around his cock as it begs him for more?

“Fuck. You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me, baby,” Joel croons his praise. His hands abandon your hips and he hunches over you, his thrusts momentarily ceasing. He crushes his chest against your sweaty, quivering back and leans forward even further, bracing his large hands on either side of you. Then, his lips move to the shell of your ear and he speaks, his breath blazing hot on your skin. “Y’take me so well, honey. Y’take Daddy’s cock so fuckin’ well. This pretty little pussy was fuckin’ made for me. She was made jus’ for me—ain’t that right, angel?”

He’s right.

Oh, how you fucking hated that he was right.

It was made for him. Your cunt. Your body. You.

Every part of you was made for him, and only for him.

All you can do is nod dumbly in agreement.

“Say it,” Joel whispers his firm command. “Wanna hear you say it. Be a good girl and use your words. Say it, say this pussy is made for me.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan obediently, prompting him to grin against your ear. “My pussy is made for you, just—just for you. No one—no one else. Only you.” Could this really be the same voice that would break, grow hoarse from screaming for him to stop? The same voice that would beg and plead for him to set you free?

Jutting his hips forward, Joel buries himself to the hilt, eliciting a noise from you, something caught between a pained whimper and a contented sigh. His balls, heavy and full for you, rest on your clit, which is still sensitive to the touch after he’d spent a majority of the morning with his head buried in between your legs. Desiring yet another release, you try wriggling around beneath him in a silent plea for more. More, more, more.

Please, Daddy. More.

Joel’s grin widens. He places one of his hands on your soft lower belly, fingers dragging down the slope of it until he finds the slick swell of your seam between your legs where his girth splits you open. “Ready, baby?”

Nodding, you open your mouth to answer him, but the sound of your own groan cuts you off when his fingers firmly circle around your throbbing, swollen bud. “Oh,” you breathe, instantly sinking right into his touch. Your eyes screw shut tightly in pleasure, and you throw your head back onto his shoulder. The scruff of his beard is rough on your cheek, and it burns, the same way it had burned the tender flesh of your inner thighs.

His hips find their rhythm as you rub against his hand—you’re almost there. He knows this, you can tell by the chuckle that thunders in his chest and against your back. But you’re too busy chasing your pleasure to be embarrassed.

He’s made you a needy, greedy girl.

“Daddy,” you mewl, trying your hardest to move under him, to work your cunt up and down on his cock. “I’m gonna come—” You gasp, back arching as Joel strokes in and out, his fingers rubbing your clit with urgency.

Joel plants a sloppy, wet kiss on your cheek. “Give it to me, baby,” he grunts. “C’mon. Lemme feel her squeeze me.”

Feeling how close he is too, you try to hold on for just a little bit longer, at least long enough to finish with him, but Joel’s relentless, and you’re forced off of the ledge you’re both standing on first.

Crying out, your walls spasm around him, asking to be filled until he’s made a complete mess out of you, until white leaks, and it slowly dribbles down the insides of your trembling thighs.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel rasps. He lifts himself off you and he pulls out, taking his throbbing cock in his hand. His chest heaves as he fists himself, the wet sound of your slick in his palm filling the room. “Down,” he grits, and you obey him, lowering down yourself on the mattress until you’re lying almost completely flat before him. He gives himself one final stroke just as you look over your shoulder at him, the gentle flutter of your eyelashes the last push he needs. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck—” Joel spills his load, shooting thick ropes of warm cum along the soft curve of your spine.

You rest your cheek on your folded arms, biting back a small sigh.

He’s left behind an ache—you feel painfully empty.

But it was Tess, who had been given the task of helping you track your menstrual cycle, that had given him the warning earlier that morning. “She’s ovulating. Don’t be a fucking idiot, Joel. Last thing we need is for her to—”

“Relax,” he’d gruffed in response. “I fuckin’ know.”

Spent, Joel hunches over you once more and he lightly kisses the top of your head before burying his nose into your hair. “Good girl,” he murmurs. Affection that once was unwelcome and unwanted, that once made you feel sick to your fucking stomach, now makes you feel something else entirely. You’re not quite sure what it is, only that it’s warm. Comforting. “Y’did so well for me, sweetheart. Always do.”

Your lips curl into a faint, tired smile he doesn’t see.

A while later, you find yourself perched on the bed with the sheet wrapped around you, quietly watching as he gets dressed. “Daddy?” you say tentatively as he drops into a nearby chair to pull on his boots.

“What is it, baby girl?”

“Do you—do you think we can go to the creek today?”

Joel finishes lacing his boots and looks up at you.

“I’d really like to wash up,” you admit, softly. That, and you would like to see the light of day. He’d boarded up the windows with slabs of wood—sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get some decent light seeping through the teeny gaps.

“Not today, honey. I’ve got some things to take care of. Supplies are low, we gotta do a run. Don’t have the time to take you.” He stands and picks up his rifle, slinging the strap of it over his shoulder. Noticing the crestfallen expression on your face, Joel’s eyes soften. He walks over and gingerly cups the side of your face in his palm. His thumb strokes your cheek. “Promise I’ll take you to the creek tomorrow, sweetheart. First thing. Alright?”

Nodding, your eyes fall to your hands in your lap.

“Okay.”

Joel kisses your forehead, then leaves the room.

He makes sure to lock the door from the outside, and you can’t help but wonder if he knows locking you in is no longer necessary.

“I can take her.”

Joel’s dark eyes remain focused on the state map laid out on the table in front of him. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about, Tess?” He sees her in his periphery, but is too busy figuring out the group’s best route to look her way.

“I heard her asking you to take her to the creek so she can bathe,” she tells him. “I can take her.”

Finally, his head snaps up and he turns to her. “What?”

Tess leans her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. “You and Tommy can take the group, go and take care of what you have to take care of. I’ll stay behind and take her down to the creek,” she suggests casually, as if she’s not asking him to trust her with his most prized possession—the only damn thing on what was left of this fucking earth Joel Miller actually gives a shit about. “Once she’s washed up, I’ll bring her back to the cabin and put her back into the room. Easy.”

Joel stares at her, bewildered. “What makes you think I’d fuckin’ allow somethin’ like that?”

“Oh, come on.” She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Anytime I bitch about having to do something for that girl, you’re on my fucking case about it, and now that I’m offering to do something for her, you don’t wanna let me?”

He shakes his head and lowers his voice. “You’re talkin’ about takin’ her outside, Tess. Without me.”

“The creek’s just a mile away,” Tess reminds him. “I’m pretty sure I can handle getting her there and back with no trouble, Joel.” When he says nothing, she cocks her head to the side and scoffs. “What? You don’t trust me enough to take her under my wing for a couple hours?”

Joel’s lips pull into a tight line. 

Of course he does. Tess was his right hand woman, his second in command.

He trusted her more than his own fucking brother. She had never given him any reason not to, had never given him a reason to doubt her loyalty to him. No, his lack of trust has nothing to do with Tess—but everything to do with you. He doesn’t trust you. He will never trust you.

“What if she tries to—?” He can’t even say it.

“Tries to what?” She pauses. “Run?”

His throat goes dry and he gives her a subtle nod.

Joel Miller was a bad man who did bad things, but you were his good. You’ve brought back some meaning into this wretched life of his, gave him something that felt a lot like a sense of purpose. You were something for him to take care of, to keep safe and protect.

Tess raises an eyebrow at him. “You think I’d even give her the chance? Besides, the girl’s not that stupid, Joel. She knows better than to try anything. She knows she wouldn’t get very fucking far.”

“Tess—”

“I’m just trying to do something nice for her. Besides, I think it might do her some good to be in the company of someone else for once—the company of a woman.”

Joel peers at her, taking a minute to think it over in his mind before asking, “You’ll have her back in the room before I get back to the cabin?”

“Long before then,” she swears. “All in one piece.”

He hesitates. He’s still not sure.

It’s then that he remembers that disappointed look on your sweet, pretty little face. “Alright,” he relents with a deep sigh. “I trust you, Tess.”

It always feels a bit strange to be outside.

But being outside without Joel?

It feels even stranger.

When he’d walked back into the room and told you Tess was willing to take you to the creek, the news had taken you by complete surprise. When he said he was willing to let her take you, that you almost couldn’t believe. It hadn’t even sunk in until the three of you stood outside the cabin and he was kissing your forehead sweetly in a temporary goodbye before turning to Tess.

“Never take your eyes off her,” he’d instructed her.

“She’ll behave.” She had smiled at you as she pulled her pistol from the waistband of her jeans, the gleam of the silver barrel catching your eye. “Isn’t that right?”

Swallowing dryly, you had answered with a strained, “Of course.”

She’s the last fucking person you wanted to cross. She was almost as terrifying as Joel, if not more.

“Tess? W-Where are we going?” you ask as you trudge along behind her, hoping you don’t sound as winded as you feel. Although you had no way to keep track of the time, it felt like you’d been trekking for at least an hour. Your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes—old, worn, yellow canvas sneakers that certainly weren’t made for hiking. “I don’t remember the creek being this far from the cabin.”

Tess snorts. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already.”

“It’s just—we’ve been walking for a really long time.”

She glances over her shoulder at you. “Here I thought you would be a little fucking grateful to be out getting some fresh air,” she chuckles, shaking her head before turning her attention back to the path ahead.

“I am,” you squeak, stumbling over a fallen branch.

Silence falls over the both of you.

“We’re not going to the creek,” Tess finally speaks after a minute. “I’m taking you somewhere else. Somewhere even better. Just trust me, kid. Now hurry up.”

It takes another hour before you reach your destination, and you hear it before you can even see it, a humming sound that turns into buzzing the closer you get. Then, you feel it, a vibration in the rocks beneath your feet. “Is that a—?” Stepping around her, your mouth falls open in absolute awe at the sight before you.

The waterfall is nestled right in between the trees and surges over the rocky mountain, throwing up bubbles of spray as it plunges into the lake at the bottom, and from there, it foams into a thick, white lather at the base. On the bank, where you stand, you spot different types of vegetation you couldn’t identify even if you tried—all you know is that it’s green, and it’s beautiful.

“This is incredible,” you gasp.

“Way better than some little creek, huh?” Tess tucks her pistol into the waistband of her jeans and shrugs off her pack. She digs around in the front pocket and pulls out something wrapped in a piece of crumpled brown tissue paper. She hands it to you. “Here.”

“What’s this?”

“Well, if you’d fucking open it, you would know,” Tess rolls her eyes. “It’s my last piece of soap. It’s all yours.”

Her kind generosity comes as a surprise—usually, Tess wanted nothing to do with you. But you don’t question it, and you certainly don’t turn the rare luxury down.

“Thanks,” you say, shooting her a grateful look.

Tess nods towards the body of water. “Alright, then. Go on and get to it.”

You take the piece of soap out the tissue. The scent of lavender is faint, but still very much there. Joel will like the smell of it on your skin tonight, you think.

As you start to pull the strap of your cotton blue dress down your shoulder, you feel her gaze fixed intently on you. Heat rushes to your cheeks. “Uh, aren’t you going to turn around?”

“For fuck’s sake,” she scoffs. “I’ve got what you’ve got. Now hurry up, we don’t have all fucking day.”

Nodding, you peel off your dress and underwear, your face on fire as the older woman’s eyes slowly drag over your naked body. Carefully, you step off the bank and wade into the water. It’s so clear that you can count the pebbles underneath your feet.

Leaning against a nearby tree, Tess calls out, “You have ten minutes! And stay out of the waterfall! Last thing I need is for you to fucking drown.”

As she lights a cigarette, you can’t help but stare at her. Her features, though worn down after the hell she had been through trying to survive the post outbreak world, are beautiful. Big, dark green eyes, a perfect nose, and full, pouty lips. There’s never been a doubt in your mind that she and Joel have been involved with one another, and lately, the mere thought of anything between them made you uncomfortable.

It’s an odd sensation deep in your gut—jealousy?

But what were you jealous of? Her having had him first?

It shouldn’t matter to you, but it does. Insecurities you have never in your life felt before seep into your bones.

“Anyone ever tell you it’s fucking rude to stare?” Tess quips, raising an eyebrow at you. She shoves her lighter into the back pocket of her jeans.

Nervously, you sink lower into the water, nibbling the inside of your cheek. “Tess? Can I ask you something?”

“What could you possibly fucking want to ask me?”

You hesitate.

“How—how long have you known each other?”

“Who?” Tess plucks the cigarette from between her lips and flicks the ashes. “Me and Joel?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. Six, seven years?”

“How did you two meet?”

“Long story that’s none of your fucking business.”

You ask your next question before you lose your nerve. “Have you two ever—?” Unsure of how to phrase it, you stop and clamp your mouth shut in instant regret.

“Have we ever what?” Tess studies your face, and she quickly realizes what you’re trying to ask her. “You’re seriously asking me if me and Joel have ever fucked?”

Biting your bottom lip, you glance down into the water at your feet. You honestly don’t expect her to answer, so when she does, you look back up at her in surprise.

“Yeah.” She takes a long drag from her cigarette, then adds, “Few times.”

Something unpleasant claws at your insides. “You two were together? Like a couple?”

“Something like that,” Tess mutters, flicking her ashes once more.

“What happened?”

She looks at you, pausing before answering, “You.”

Oh.

Before you can utter another word, Tess snaps, “Quit asking so many goddamn fucking questions and finish up washing. You’ve got eight minutes left.”

Not wanting to push your luck further than you already have, you do as she tells you in complete silence.

You lather up the soap in your hands, washing your hair first, and then your face and body, using your hands to scrub yourself as best as you can. Between the calming scent of the soap, the soothing sound of the waterfall, and the warm afternoon sun, you find yourself relaxing. You try to clear your mind, live in this peaceful moment which you very well may never get again, but your mind begins to wander.

And it wanders straight to Joel.

Closing your eyes, you can’t help but picture him here, standing behind you in the lake. You can almost feel his hands on you, long, thick fingers lathered with lavender soap, sliding down your body. His lips at your neck, he cups your breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over your hardened nipples until your head lulls, falling back onto his shoulder. Joel drags his hands further down, over your stomach, going lower and lower towards the place where you need them the most. “Yeah, baby?” he murmurs into your neck, dipping one of them between your legs until you are, quite literally, in the palm of his hand. “This where y’need me?”

Breathless, you respond, “It’s where I want you.”

Suddenly, your eyes snap open.

There is a wetness between your thighs, one that has nothing to do with the fact that you’re standing waist-deep in the middle of a lake. You shake those thoughts away and finish washing yourself.

“Time’s up,” Tess calls. She meets you on the bank with a dry rag. “Here.”

The rag doesn’t exactly cover much surface area, but you dry yourself off as best you can before tugging on your underwear and slipping on your dress. Just as you crouch down to slip your shoes on, she tosses her pack and it lands in front of you with a soft thud.

Confused, you glance up at her.

“There’s about a week’s worth of jerky in there. Longer, if you know how to ration,” Tess explains, calmly. “And a canteen for water. I also packed you a flashlight and a pocket knife. It’s not much, but—”

Frowning, you rise to your feet. “What are you talking about, Tess? What’s going on? Why are you giving me your pack?”

“Because I’m giving you a chance, kid.”

A feeling of dread pools in the pit of your stomach.

“A chance to what?”

“Run.”

Your heart stutters a beat. “Run?”

“He’ll come looking for you. You need to get as far away from here as possible. Run away, as far as you can, and don’t fucking look back.”

All you can do is stare at her in shocked silence.

“I can help you get a head start,” Tess offers, quietly. “I can show you which direction to go in and put you on a path leading to the closest state highway—”

“But what if I don’t want to run?”

Tess places her hands on her hips, and she exhales an incredulous laugh. “Jesus,” she breathes, shaking her head in pity. “He’s really got you fucking brainwashed, doesn’t he?”

You glare at her. “I am not brainwashed, Tess.”

“You’ve gotta be if you’re telling me you wanna go back to him.”

“Tess—”

She cuts you off. “He gave the order to raid your camp and kill your people,” she reminds you. “He fucking slit your father’s throat right in front of you, then took you as his prisoner. He made you his fucking sex slave.”

“He takes care of me! He feeds me, makes sure I have a bed to sleep in no matter where we are. He keeps me safe. He—he cares about me.” You will your voice not to tremble as you stand your ground. “No. I’m not running away, Tess. I want to go back.”

Tess sighs. “You’re really not gonna make this easy, are you?”

“Take me back,” you all but demand, your hands curled into the least menacing little fists she had ever seen in her life at your sides. “Take me back to the cabin—take me back to him, Tess. I mean it.”

Amused, she huffs through her nose. “Or else what?”

“You can’t make me run away, Tess.” As you take a step towards her, she reaches behind her and swiftly whips out her pistol from the waistband of her jeans. You halt, freezing in fear when she aims the barrel of the gun at your chest.

“Actually, I can,” she says, her finger hovering over the trigger. “So here’s how this is gonna go. I’m gonna walk away now. And if you even think about following me, or trying to find your way back to the group, you will die.” She tosses you a tiny, wry smile. “Believe it or not, I’m doing you a real big favor, kid. Problem is, he’s got you so fucked in the head that you can’t see it.”

“Tess, please,” you plead. “Don’t do this to me!”

She begins to back away. “Remember when you’d say that to him? How you’d beg him not to do those things to you every night? Beg him to let you go?”

“Please, just take me back to him!”

You start to follow her.

“You take one more fucking step and I’ll shoot you,” she threatens, her eyes darkening. “Don’t think I won’t.”

Tess keeps her pistol pointed at you until she slips into the trees and disappears, abandoning you in the middle of the forest.

He’s furious. Livid.

Joel paces back and forth on the porch.

“Where the fuck are they?”

The old, rotting wood that wraps all the way around the cabin creaks, and certain softer spots bend and buckle, threatening to give way beneath his heavy boots. Joel’s younger brother leans against the railing, which is just as fragile, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

“Christ, Joel. Can you fuckin’ relax?” Tommy grumbles, fishing around in his back pocket for his lighter. “You’re gonna bring the whole damn cabin down if ya don’t cut that shit out.” He sparks a flame and lights the filtered end of the cigarette. He takes a long drag, and exhales the smoke through his nose. “You’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’, brother.”

“S’almost sundown, and they’re still not fuckin’ back.” Joel shakes his head. “Fuckin’ knew I shouldn’t have let Tess take her. Somethin’ happened, Tommy. I just know it.” He lifts his shirt and reaches for his pistol, pulling it from the waistband of his jeans. “M’gonna head to the creek myself to find ‘em. Ain’t gonna sit around on my goddamn hands and wait for it to get fuckin’ dark.”

“She’s with Tess. M’sure the girl’s fine—” Tommy stops, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, hell.”

“What?”

Tommy jerks his chin over Joel’s shoulder before taking another slow, casual drag of his cigarette. He savors the last few seconds of peace before shit inevitably hits the fan and his brother unleashes his wrath on anything, or anyone, in his path.

Joel whips around and his stomach sinks, his blood ice in his veins when he sees Tess approaching the cabin. Alone.

Both his mind and body go numb. It’s a jarring shock to his nervous system, and it takes him a minute or two to fully process the fact that you’re not with her.

“Joel,” Tess says his name carefully as he descends the porch steps and walks towards her. “I need you to take a breath, alright?”

“Where—where is she?” His voice breaks, his weakness momentarily slipping through the cracks.

Not that Tess didn’t already know you were Joel Miller’s weakness, his soft white underbelly, the only vulnerable part of his hardened self that could be penetrated—you would have been his downfall. As much as she’d like to say she did what she did solely for your own good, she also did it for his, and for the sake of the group as a whole.

It needed to be done.

He stands in front of her, a ticking time bomb about to go off.

Prepared to face whatever consequences of the choice she had made, Tess tucks her gun away and sighs. “You need to take a breath—”

Joel snatches her arm, his fingers digging into the flesh above her elbow. His emotions hit him all at once.

Fear, worry, anger. It’s the third that takes precedence, and before Tess can utter another word, Joel yanks her forward. She crashes against his chest so hard that it knocks the wind out of her. “Where the fuck is she?” He leans down, his nostrils flaring as he brings their faces the closest they have been in almost a year.

“Joel, take a fucking breath—”

“Where. Is. She.” His grip on her arm tightens with each word he bites out through his teeth. He’s vaguely aware the others have piled out of the cabin, gathering on the porch to watch the altercation.

“She ran,” Tess explains, calmly. She doesn’t falter, not even as his fingers sink deeper into her skin, promising her painful bruises which will take days to fade away. If he decided to let her live. “She ran away, Joel. I turned my back for one fucking second and she was gone. She even took my fucking pack. I tried going after her, but it was no use. She was too fast.”

Behind him, Tommy snorts. “She outran you?”

Her eyes momentarily flicker to him. “Her knees are a lot younger than mine,” she replies, flatly.

“Which direction did she go in?” Joel demands. When Tess doesn’t immediately respond, he shouts, “Which fucking direction!”

Tess manages to snatch her arm out of his grasp. She glowers at him, hissing, “What the hell does it matter which direction she went? You won’t fucking find her.”

His eyes meet hers, and he sees it. Feels it.

She’s lying to him.

“Tess.” Joel’s voice drops dangerously low. He studies her face, his brows creasing with suspicion. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do shit, Joel. She fucking ran away.”

Without warning, Joel takes her by her throat. His other hand brings his pistol to her head, shoving the barrel of it against her temple. His nose touches hers. “Now, tell me why I have the feelin’ you’re not tellin’ me the whole truth?”

Tess lifts her chin. She searches his eyes, a sharp ache shooting through her. After everything, all the hell they had been through together—he would end her life, put a bullet in her because of you? Did she mean that little to him?

Or maybe she’d never meant anything to him at all?

She’s not sure which stings more.

“Because you’ve fucking deluded yourself into thinking that she willingly wants anything to do with you,” Tess finally answers. “That’s why.”

He ignores the burn of her scorching words.

“Where the fuck is she, Tess?”

“If she’s smart, she’s far away from here by now,” she hisses. “I did everyone a fucking favor, Joel. That girl is just another fucking mouth to feed. And what if you get her pregnant? That’ll be another one. Not to mention, a crying baby could draw unwanted attention and get us all killed. Ever thought about that? She’s not an asset to the group, she’s a fucking liability. Besides, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we’re all fucking tired of hearing you ra—”

Joel digs the barrel harder into her temple, his finger hovering over the trigger. “Listen to me. You’ve got ten seconds to tell me where she is, y’understand me?”

“Or what? You’ll blow my brains out?” Foolishly, Tess chooses to call his bluff despite not knowing for certain whether or not he’ll actually pull the trigger. “Go ahead, then. Kill me, Joel.”

His finger twitches over the trigger, but he doesn’t pull it. He can’t fucking pull it. Not on her. Not on Tess.

Still in his hands, she sags slightly in relief.

Swallowing harshly, Joel Miller lowers his gun and does something she’s never seen him do before. He begs.

“Tess, tell me where she is,” he whispers. His pleading is subtle, and only she can hear it. “Please—just fuckin’ tell me where my girl is.”

Tess stands her ground and says nothing.

Releasing her, Joel shoves her aside and with nothing but his gun in his hand, he sets off to find you.

“Ow, fuck!”

You gasp, quickly lifting your bare foot off the ground.

You’d stepped on something sharp—a stick, or maybe a rock?

In a desperate attempt to try and keep up with Tess’ tracks, you had stupidly left behind your shoes back at the waterfall. But the mere seconds you had spared by not stopping to put your shoes on hadn’t given you the advantage you thought it would. She had moved much too fast, and within minutes, you’d become helplessly, hopelessly lost. Every tree and every bush, they all look exactly the same, and for all you know, you’ve probably been going around in fucking circles for the past couple of hours in your search for her footprints in the dirt.

Sagging against the trunk of a nearby tree, you take a minute to try and catch your breath, to give your poor little feet a break from hiking over fallen branches and jagged stones.

Your head falls back, eyes gazing through the canopy of trees. Dusk has settled in, and nightfall is on its heels. It was foolish of you to leave behind your shoes, but even more so to leave behind the pack she had given you—in the pack were all the things meant to help you survive. Knife, flashlight, food.

Sure, you can survive a night out here in the wilderness without any of those things—but then what? Come dawn, what do you do? Where do you go? Do you just stumble around in the woods and hope for the best? Pray you’ll make it onto a highway with signs that will point you to a quarantine zone?

Hell, maybe you’re overestimating yourself. Maybe you wouldn’t survive long enough to worry about your next move. Howls in the distance remind you there’s wildlife out here, dangerous predators that come out after dark in search of their next meal. Or what about infected? It wasn’t unheard of for them to veer off the highway and lose themselves in the trees.

You recall your first few weeks in Joel Miller’s hands.

Escaping them was all you could ever think about, even though the chances of you surviving alone were slim to none, just like they are now. Never having been on your own, death would have been inevitable—but back then, in your darkest moments in captivity, you wished for it. You’d welcomed the idea of starving, freezing, or being torn apart limb from limb by an entire hoard of clickers. At least then, you’d die with your freedom.

Almost a year later, that wish has been granted.

You’re free.

You may very well die, but you would die free.

Closing your eyes, you think about Joel. His arms, that once held you down—held you still—as he did all those things to you without your consent, are arms your heart yearns to have wrapped around you, holding you close.

“Jesus,” you grit, a tear rolling down your cheek.

Maybe Tess had been right. Maybe he really does have you fucked in the head.

Joel was a monster. He had taken everything from you, including your innocence. He’d defiled you in ways you hadn’t known were possible. He was a terrible, terrible man.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you fed.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you warm.

A terrible, terrible man who kept you safe.

Another tear slides down the side of your face. What is fucking wrong with you?

You don’t know. But what you do know is, the thought of never seeing Joel again is somehow more terrifying to you than the thought of dying even the most brutal of deaths.

A loud rustling sound brings your train of thought to an immediate, sudden halt, and your eyes wrench open.

It’s darker now, but you manage to catch a movement in the shrubs, only mere feet in front of you. Panic flares in your chest, it rattles you to your very core, and even though every nerve in your body is urging you to move, you freeze, your back flush against the tree trunk. Your fingernails dig painfully into the bark as you watch the shrubs part down the middle, and a tall, hulking figure emerges with a heavy grunt.

At first, you think it’s just a figment of your imagination showing you what you wanted to see—a hallucination. Blinking furiously, you lightly shake your head, and then take another look at him. Your breath hitches when you realize it’s Joel.

He stares at you in the same manner, as if he’s trying to figure out if you’re real, or if his mind is playing a cruel, cruel trick on him. Feet cemented to the forest floor, he watches you take a small, tentative step towards him.

Once adamant that you’d never look him in the eye, you find your gaze locking directly with his as you carefully take another step closer. Then another, and another.

“Joel?” It’s the first time you’ve ever uttered his name.

He seems as taken aback hearing it as you are saying it.

“Joel.” It rolls off your tongue smoother, and with more ease the second time around.

It sparks a flame somewhere deep, deep inside of him, a fire that burns differently than those ignited by carnal desires.

No, this is something else entirely, and you feel it too.

“Baby?” he whispers hoarsely. “S’that really you?”

“Joel!” you cry, hurling yourself into his arms.

Joel’s gun falls from his hand and he curls them around you. Burying his nose into your hair, he inhales deeply. The scent of you, the feel of you—you’re fucking real.

Shuddering with sobs of relief, your arms wrap around his waist, and you cling to him as if you’re clinging onto dear, precious life itself.

“Hush now, s’alright,” Joel soothes, cradling the back of your head in one hand, while the rubs soft, calming circles into your back. “I’ve got you, honey. M’here.”

“I swear I didn’t want to run away,” you explain through your tears. “I begged her to take me back to you, Joel, I really did! But she left me out here—she said she would shoot me if I tried following her back. Please, you have to believe me, you just have to believe me!”

He squeezes you harder against his chest. “I do, baby. I do believe you,” he assures you. Pulling away, he takes a step backward and takes your face between his palms, peering at you in concern. “Y’hurt, sweetheart?”

“No,” you hiccup, curling your hands around his wrists. Your lower lip trembles. “I—I thought I’d never see you again. I was scared I wouldn’t,” you admit, softly.

Joel’s thumb wipes away a fresh tear. “M’here now,” he murmurs. “You’re with me, baby. You’re safe, alright?” As a late evening breeze passes through, he lets you go and shrugs out of his brown jacket. He goes to drape it around your shoulders, but you snatch it right out of his hands, then toss it aside.

Something in you snaps. You take fistfuls of his flannel, pulling him down towards you to do yet something else that takes you both by surprise—you initiate a kiss. You lean forward and press your lips to his, a little swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip as you clutch tighter at his shirt, holding him in place. Groaning, Joel opens his mouth more, his tongue brushing yours.

Liquid heat pools in your belly, and before you realize it, you’ve grown frantic, kissing him with fervor. Releasing his shirt, you slide your hands down his chest, over his stomach, lower and lower until you find his belt buckle. Desperate, you clumsily fumble with it, and that’s when Joel tears away from you, his breath hitching.

You’re begging before he can even say a word. “Please. I need you—I want you. Right now.”

You cup him through his jeans, and he exhales sharply.

“Fuck.” Without giving it a second thought, his hands reach for the straps of your dress, pushing them off of your shoulders. He roughly tugs at the material, letting it slip down your body until it falls around your feet. In a tangle of limbs and tongues, you both sink to the forest floor. Your hands brush his buckle, and he catches your wrists. “Not yet, baby girl. M’still in charge, alright?”

Sheepishly, you nod.

“Say it.” His command is firm, but somehow still gentle.

“You’re—you’re in charge.”

“Good girl.” Joel guides you onto your back. He’s over you in a second, swelling your lips with a hard, hungry kiss that leaves you dizzy and breathless. He moves his mouth, teeth scraping over your cheek and jaw, down to your neck where he nips at the tender, delicate flesh over your pulse point. Then, he bites his way over your collarbone and to your shoulder. “Bet she’s already wet for me,” he mumbles into your skin. “Ain’t she, baby?”

Pushing himself back onto his knees, he slides a finger over your clothed cunt, eliciting a small gasp from you. Hooking his fingers under the elastic waistband of your cotton underwear, he yanks the fabric down your legs. It catches on your foot, your wetness smearing against the inside of your ankle.

You’re drenched.

“C’mere,” Joel grunts, sliding his hands under your ass and pulling your hips over his thighs. He leans over you once more, your bare, throbbing cunt rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. He tuts lightly into your neck as you buck against him. “Such a fuckin’ needy little girl.”

Desperate, you try rolling your hips into his. “Joel.”

“Kinda like it when y’say my name.” He starts making his way down the length of your body. “Think I’ll like it even better when you’re screamin’ it. Won’t I, baby?”

Your stomach tightens as he nibbles his way down your neck again, teeth scraping over your clavicle and down your chest to your heaving tits. Taking one in his hand, the other goes into his mouth—his tongue is scorching hot over your nipple. He licks the pebbled flesh, sucks it and bites it while he rolls the other peak in between his thumb and index finger. “Oh fuck,” you gasp.

Releasing your breast with a wet pop, Joel sinks further down your body. He plants hot, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your tummy, leaving behind a trail of fire in their wake. He stops over your mound and hovers for a fraction of a second before pressing his nose into the silky soft curls there. Inhaling deeply, Joel picks up the subtle, herbal scent of the lavender soap you had washed yourself with. “Fuck, y’smell so fuckin’ good.”

He pushes your thighs open, pinning one to the ground with his hand while the other goes over his shoulder. Your foot slides down his back, toes curling despite the fact that he hasn’t even reached the spot where you’re aching to have him most. Heart thundering, your blood rushes, roaring in your ears.

Joel turns his head, his lips brushing your inner thigh in another kiss. “S’this where y’want me, honey?” he asks you. Goosebumps erupt over every inch of your skin as he draws closer, his breath like steam on your core. He glances up at you, his cock twitching against his zipper at the sight of you laying naked before him on the floor of the forest. Willing. Wanting. “Hm? Right here?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Please, Joel.”

Thankfully, you only have to ask him once, and then his face is buried between your legs, and he is giving you what you want.

“Fuck!” you cry out. Back arching, your head tilts back until the crown of it meets the ground, leaves and twigs finding their way into your clean hair.

Joel’s tongue flattens over your cunt in a broad stroke, then dips between your folds, collecting your slick with a harsh groan, one that sends a bone-rattling vibration throughout your entire body, from head to curled toes. His mouth opens wider—a starving, greedy man trying to eat you whole. Sliding his tongue over your clit, Joel seals his lips around it, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves until it swells in his mouth.

High-pitched little cries and whines spill from your lips. Your hands shoot down, fingers tangling themselves in his dark, graying curls, eliciting a grunt from him when you tug at his roots. “Joel, fuck,” you choke, your nails scraping against his scalp. He slurps and swallows your wetness, the sounds drowning out those of the night—the chirping of crickets, the croaking of frogs, the soft hooting of owls are washed away until all you can hear is him devouring your pussy.

Your body starts to tremble, and you know you’re close. Joel does, too. He feels your thighs twitch, threatening to close around his head, but he wrenches them further apart with a muffled but firm, “No.” He drapes his arm over your pelvis, his large hand splayed on your belly.

Relentless, he sucks your clit, gliding his tongue over it, again and again until the muscles in your lower tummy tighten and you burst at the seams, unraveling into his mouth. Warm slick gushes out of you, a sweet mess he licks clean. You choke back sobs of pleasure, your body tensing, vision blurring with every stroke of his tongue, each scrape of his teeth over your clit.

Joel lifts himself onto his knees with a grunt and gazes down at you—his good girl, sweet and pliant and ready to be fucked full of his cock. His hands slide his belt out of its brass buckle, eyes still trained on you as he pops the button of his jeans and yanks down his zipper.

Your mind is fuzzy, still syrupy and dripping—it doesn’t fully register what he’s doing, not until he climbs back over you and you his hard cock brushes your thigh, hot velvet that sears the inside of your leg. Precum smears your flesh.

“Y’feel that? Feel what you fuckin’ do to me?”

“Joel.” Hands shaking, you reach for the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel more of his skin on yours. You whine when he catches both of your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. “Your clothes—”

“Stay on.” Ducking his head, he nips at your pulse point and mumbles, “Tell me what y’want, pretty girl.”

Joel shifts over you, his cock now resting on your lower belly, thick and heavy and leaking.

You squirm under him, hips coming off the ground, that hollow thing inside of you begging to be filled.

“Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what y’want.”

“You, Joel—I want you. Please, please, please—”

He hushes you.

“I’ve you, baby. I’ve got you,” Joel promises. He wraps his other hand around himself, dragging the head of his cock along the seam of your puffy folds, up and down—he elicits a ragged little gasp from you when he grazes your clit and his fingers tighten around your wrists. He coats himself in your slippery slick until he’s glistening with it, and then he gives a slow roll of his hips, working himself into you.

Your mouth falls open. No words come out, no pleas for more—only jerky breaths, pathetic little pants for air as you take it.

Joel’s cock throbs, pulses like a heartbeat as your cunt welcomes him home. He presses his forehead to yours. “She’s always so fuckin’ sweet to me.” His voice is low, rough gravel. His eyes meet yours in the dark blue glow of the forest, and he savors the last moments of seeing your pretty face before the last traces of dusk are gone. Brushing his lips to the corner of your mouth, he feeds you his cock inch by inch, murmuring, “That’s it, honey. Good fuckin’ girl.”

You melt around him at his praise.

Releasing your wrists, he moves his hand, placing it on the crown of your head. “Ain’t ever lettin’ you out of my sight again,” he swears. “Alright? Never gonna be apart from me again, baby girl. Never. Y’understand me?” He curls his other hand firmly around your jaw, his fingers sticky with you and him. “Do you understand me?”

“Never,” you repeat, softly.

Joel kisses you, deep and slow, almost sweet. Tender. He breaks away, his lips hovering right over yours as he pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you.

Moaning, your hands grasp at his shoulders. Your legs widen further to accommodate the breadth of his hips.

“There y’go.” Joel presses deep within, until your belly feels hot and full. “That’s it, baby. Good girl,” he coos, drawing his hips back, then rolling them right back into you. He takes one of your ankles and tosses it over his shoulder, giving himself a better angle to fuck into you.

A loud cry tears from the back of your throat. “Joel!”

He grins in the darkness. He knew he’d like hearing you scream his name.

Joel’s hand settles on your leg that’s over his shoulder, your thigh already shaking. “Y’gonna be a real good girl n’ give me another one?”

You try to answer him, you really do, but your mind falls further and further away.

His fingertips sink into your thigh. He strokes in and out of you, never retreating more than inches at a time so he keeps you full. Stuffed. “Christ. Takin’ it so fuckin’ well,” he croons, moving your leg off of his shoulder so they are both wrapped around his waist. Hunching over you, he bears down hard, using most of his weight. He almost chuckles at the little oof that puffs out of you.

Rocks and twigs dig painfully into your back, but all you can do is feel him. How close he is.

You’re right there with him.

“Joel—fuck, I’m gonna co—”

You’re cut off by your own sharp gasp.

“That’s it. C’mon, honey.” Joel slips his hand between your thighs, his fingers firmly rubbing your clit. “C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and come on my cock—”

It rips through you like an electric current, a shockwave that has you clawing at the dirt. You come crying Joel’s name, crumbling into a whimpering, quivering mess.

Within seconds, he’s swept away by the same tide.

“Baby,” he groans, dropping his head into the hollow of your neck. He goes still and lets your tight cunt clench at him, gripping his cock as it throbs, pulses, empties into you. After a minute, he brushes a kiss to your neck before mumbling, “My sweet girl.”

Joel makes no move to pull out of you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, your soiled fingers toy with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, shattered breaths slowing and piecing back together.

You gaze up through the trees at the night sky, feeling the safest you’ve ever been with the earth at your back and your whole world on top of you, his cock buried in your cunt.

Tess is right. Joel Miller really does have you fucked in the head.

You’re certain of it when you make the realization with a smile.

divider credit to @/saradika 🖤

for fic notifications please follow @joelsgreysupdates!

[atomicami]

make you mine

dbf!cowboy!sevika x fem!reader

- summary: you've always had a longing for your dad's best friend ever since she moved into the ranch next door. however, you've had to keep your feelings to yourself out of fear of rejection and for the sake of their friendship. that is...until one night changes everything.

- content: smut MDNI, porn with plot, wild west au, forbidden love trope, age gap (reader is 21, sevika is 40), old town/ranch setting, sevika has her prosthetic arm, sevika only has a soft spot for reader, drinking & gambling, some harassment & violence (bar fight), gentledom!sev, lots of eye contact, sevika becomes very possessive, reader is shy at first but gets bold later on, use of pet names (sweetheart, darlin' etc), fingering & oral (both giving/receiving bc reader and sevika are a pair of munches), heavy scissoring, a little bit of sub!sev if you squint, and a little bit of aftercare in the end if you squint too

so i wrote this fic to try to cure the massive sevika brainrot that i’ve been having lately but it didn’t work…i still need her

You didn’t mean that much to her…or at least that’s what you had thought.

The feelings were innocent at first. It would begin through a small bit of contact, whether she’d accidentally brush her hand over yours or place her hand on the small of your back when mounting you on one of her horses, you’d end up getting chills down your spine and a small spark would start igniting in your chest. As time passed, it became more prominent. Every time she was near you, that same spark only grew more and more, followed by a tension that lingered between the two of you. You weren’t sure if it was just in your head, and you couldn’t tell if she felt the same way…until now.

It was the night before, and the three of you sat at the dining table having a steak dinner that you cooked up. Earlier that day, Sevika had accompanied you to the meat market to get those steaks. She insisted on paying for them and had already handed the cash to the butcher before you could even pull out your wallet. So to return the favor, you decided to invite her over for dinner.

You’re seated at the table, and before you start eating, you first watch as Sevika and your father take the first bites of their plate, hoping that the steaks turned out okay. “How is it?” you ask them. “I tried out a new seasoning this time.”

“It’s delicious, kiddo,” your dad had said, digging into his plate for another bite. “You always know how to make a mean ribeye.”

Sevika sat across from you, reaching out for her utensils. When she had finally taken a bite, a soft groan came from her as she savored the flavor of it. “Damn, this is good,” she added to your dad’s comment. “I might have to start coming over for dinner more often if you’re gonna be cookin’.”

You giggle at Sevika’s comment and look up at her, watching her go in for the next bite. “M’glad you like it, Sev.” Once you’re satisfied knowing that the food turned out well, you adjust yourself in your chair to start eating. As you do so, your boot ends up lightly brushing over Sevika’s leg, and, in an instant, you bring your feet back to yourself. You hope she didn’t notice your accidental contact, but it was clear that she did.

Sevika froze for a moment when she felt your boot brush up against her leg, and she couldn’t help but blush when you had done so. You hadn’t known just yet, but Sevika would also get that same spark inside her every time you were in her presence. She had never felt this way with anyone to begin with, especially with his best friend’s daughter out of all people. On the contrary, she’s mostly seen you like any other girl in her 20s, too young and naive to take seriously. Sure, you were headstrong, but in her eyes, it only added to your recklessness. That was until one particular night last year, when her feelings took a turn she never expected.

It was the night of your 21st birthday, and for a milestone birthday like that, there was no better way to celebrate than a night of drinks and dancing at the dance hall with your friends. You were too drunk to remember most of the events that night, but Sevika sure didn’t forget.

The night had blurred into a dizzying mess of laughter and alcohol, and by the time you found yourself outside the dance hall, your head was spinning. You fumbled for your phone, dialing Sevika’s number with shaky hands. 

Sevika was fast asleep when her phone rang, cutting through the peacefulness the night was bringing her. She let out a groan when she recognized your number. Groggily, she answered, her voice thick with sleep. “What now?”

“Sevika,” you slurred into the phone. ”I need you to come get me…I’m too drunk…please.”

With a sigh, Sevika got off of her bed and threw on her boots. “Fine, just…hang in there, I’ll be right out.” She wasn’t pleased to be pulled out of bed this late, but she couldn’t be one to leave you stranded out on the streets either.

When she arrived, she didn’t waste any time. With a swift motion, Sevika helped you onto the back of her horse, her grip firm as you clung to her. “Jesus, kid, you’re a mess,” she muttered, her tone laced with impatience.

You leaned against her, your head spinning. “You’re so pretty, Sev,” you mumbled, barely able to keep your eyes open. “Like my knight in shining armor.”

“Yeah, sure,” she replied dryly, but there was a faint tug at the corner of her lips as she kept you steady on her horse.

By the time she got you home, you stumbled to the ground upon entrance. Your giggles were uncontrollable, and you were barely able to get back on your feet. Sevika helped you get back up, but her patience was quickly wearing thin. “Keep it down,” she warned, her voice low. “Or else your dad’s gonna wake up.”

You continued to giggle, still not fully aware of what was going on, and she picked you up and guided you to your bedroom. With a sigh, Sevika helped you sit on the edge of the bed, but before she could leave, you suddenly grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and kissed her.

The kiss caught Sevika by surprise. She froze for a moment, then pulled back, her expression unreadable. She stared at you for a moment before gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Go to sleep,” she said, her voice quieter than usual.

You lazily kick your boots off and lie down in your bed. You snuggle into your blankets, and your eyelids start to grow heavy. “Sevika…stay with me...” you murmured, the tipsiness sinking in as you instantly drifted off to sleep right after.

Sevika hesitated for a moment, her eyes fixed on your sleeping state before she sighed, her usual coldness returning. “Just sleep it off, kid.” she mutters, her voice soft but firm. She left your room, the door clicking shut behind her, leaving you to fall into a peaceful slumber.

As Sevika arrived back home, she couldn’t help but feel an unfamiliar ache in her chest. The events of the night replayed in her mind—your drunken giggles, the kiss, the way you looked in her eyes with trust and affection. She set her stetson hat down on the table and let out a long sigh, realizing that no matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions together, something had shifted. Something she wasn’t sure she was ready to face.

She was starting to catch feelings for you.

Ever since that night, that spark continued to linger inside Sevika when you were around. However, for the sake of your dad, she had to keep herself together and brush it off.

You continue to eat your meal as normal, but you could still feel Sevika’s gaze when you weren’t looking. But every time you look up to see her, she is just concentrated on her plate. But Sevika couldn’t handle keeping her eyes on her plate any longer. 

Sevika called out your name, and you looked up at her, fork still in your mouth. She had her elbow propped up on the table, her human hand holding her fork, which was pointing down at her plate as she spoke. “You doin’ anything tomorrow, by any chance?”

You slowly take your fork out of her mouth and set it down on your plate as you finish chewing. “M’not doing much tomorrow, just my usual chores in the morning, why do you ask?” you reply.

“Well…” Sevika began, trailing off for a bit before continuing. “Was wonderin’ by any chance if you’d like to get drinks tomorrow night? You and me?”

You hesitate for a moment, completely caught off guard by the unexpected invitation. Knowing Sevika, she wasn’t usually the type to hang out with you, especially for something as casual as getting drinks together. Your gaze shifts to your dad, who sits on your right. “As long as it’s okay with my dad, I could go,” you reply.

Sevika turned to look at your dad who was on her left, patiently waiting for his reply. You couldn’t tell, but deep down, Sevika was extremely nervous, not sure of how your father would react to the idea of her asking you out like this. He didn’t think anything of it though, and let it slide. Your dad turned to the two of you. “Well, I guess it won’t be much harm in you two goin’ out for a drink…” He replies.

You smile at your dad’s approval to let you go, leaning in to hug him. “Thanks, Dad,” you tell him, sitting yourself back down. Your dad nods and looks over at Sevika. “I’ll be workin’ late tomorrow though, won’t be back home til’ the early morning. Just make sure to bring her back home safe, all right?” Sevika nods in acknowledgment. “Of course, I’ll make sure she’s back home safe.” She says, giving your dad a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

Once the three of you finished dinner, you gathered up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, with a bit of Sevika’s help since she offered. Eventually, Sevika had to head back to her place. Even though she lived close by, it still felt like she was miles away from you.

When Sevika got home, she quickly changed and slipped herself into bed. She tried her best to conceal things, but deep down, she couldn’t get the thought of you off her mind. It frightened her just as much to know that you could end up with someone else who wouldn’t treat you and care for you the same way she did. She wanted you all to herself. She wanted to claim you.

She wanted to make you hers.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.°˖⋆ ℧ 𓃗 .°˖⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The next day passed like an eternity, but before you knew it, the late afternoon had arrived, and your evening was just about to begin.

You sat in your room by your dresser, finishing the touches on your makeup. You decided to dress in light colors for the night, wearing a lavender halter paired with a white skirt and boots, topped off with a white stetson on your head.

You hear a familiar knock at the door, instantly knowing that it was Sevika. It didn’t take her long to wait, within the first minute you were already downstairs and answering the door. You greet her with a smile, admiring the outfit she had picked out for the night. She was beautifully in contrast with you, wearing a deep purple button-up that complimented her olive skin and gray eyes, accompanied by black jeans and boots and a black stetson framing her short hair.

Sevika couldn’t help but take in how beautiful you looked in your outfit, her eyes scanning you from head to toe as she drank your figure in. “You look stunning,” she said, a small smirk growing on her face. 

You blush at Sevika’s comment, shyly looking down at your boots before looking back up at her. “Thanks, Sev, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You tell her with a giggle as you exit your house and close the door shut, and Sevika can’t help but smile back at you once you tell her how good she looks. She holds out her prosthetic arm and places it on the small of your back, guiding behind you as you two walk out of the porch together. You look up ahead in your tracks to see her horse awaiting your arrival, and Sevika whistles behind you to get his attention. Her black stallion trots over to the two of you, and Sevika first assists with mounting you onto him before mounting herself. You scooch closer to her and wrap your arms around her to secure yourself. Your hands clutch her abdomen tightly, and you could’ve sworn you felt her stomach flip when you did so. Once Sevika made sure you were secured onto her, she lightly tapped her heel on the horse’s side, signaling it to move forward.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to get to the bar, about fifteen minutes or so. Once you arrived, you let go of Sevika so she could dismount from her horse and tie him to the nearest post, securing her spot before coming over and helping you get off of him, her hands never leaving your waist until you safely stepped onto the ground. Sevika felt her heart beat faster when she did so. Just the feeling of your waist under her hands was enough to drive her crazy. As for you, you couldn’t help but get a fuzzy feeling in your body when she grabbed your waist, leading you to gently rub your thighs under your skirt to diminish that feeling somehow.

Sevika walked through the batwing doors of the bar with you following behind her, the heavy scent of whiskey and tobacco hanging in the air once you stepped foot. The low murmurs of conversing patrons mix with the clink of glasses and the shuffling of boots on the wooden floor. The piano plays a slow and steady tune, making the atmosphere of the bar feel timeless.

Sevika skims around the bar when suddenly a voice calls her over. “Hey Sev! Care for a round?” the man says with a challenging smirk, holding a deck of cards in his hand. Sevika smirks back at him, taking up the offer. “Oh, you’re on,” she tells him. She was about to head to her poker group but stopped for a moment and turned to you. “Mind grabbing us drinks? You can put it on my tab, my treat.” She tells you with a wink.

You nod with a smile as you signal Sevika off to go to the poker table. The table of men cheered for her when she arrived, patting her heavily on her shoulders before they started the game. Once she’s sat, you head to the bar to order the drinks. The bartender hands you the beers within a few minutes, and you go to the poker table to sit down next to Sevika. She keeps you close by your side as she plays the game with her group.

The both of you go through the first round of drinks pretty fast. Once both of your glasses are empty, you tap Sevika’s shoulder to get her attention. “I’m gonna get another drink, do you want one?” I ask her, pointing at her empty glass. Sevika looks over at you and nods. “Yes, please,” she says, handing you her empty glass. Her eyes move over to her deck of cards and back up to her group. “In fact…” she trails off, sliding her winning cards to the middle of the table. “Get us all another round, on me!” she says as she brings her chips over to her side of the table. The men cheer for her, and a few of them groan as they have lost the game. You smile at her excitement over her win. “All right then, I’ll be back,” you say, getting up from the table and making your way back over to the bar to order the next round. Sevika’s gaze didn’t leave you once you did, and she kept herself close enough to where you were in a line of her sight the whole time.

You look over at Sevika and flash her a smile before turning back, awaiting the next round of drinks. The peace didn’t last long, though, when suddenly a man enters the bar and makes the decision to sit uncomfortably close to you. “Hey there, little lady,” he calls out to you. “You here by yourself?” An uneasy feeling washes over Sevika when she saw the man approach you, not liking the fact that he was invading your space like that. She makes sure to keep an eye on him from the table, her eyes focused on you as she continues playing her game.

You scoot away from him, signaling that you’re not interested in him. “No, I’m with someone.” You tell him, cocking your head to the side and pointing over at Sevika. The man barely glances back at her and rolls his eyes, not even seeing her as a possible threat. “Well, you’re by yourself over here, aren’t ya? Think you could use some company…” The man then places a hand on your bare knee, and it leads you to pull your knee away from him. “No, thank you, m’not interested.” you reply.

Sevika’s eyes stay glued to the man and his movements. She knew you could take care of yourself, but the thought of you being close to such a sleazy guy like him made her blood boil. It took everything within her to compose herself, keeping her cool as she remained seated at the poker table.

Things begin to heat up a bit, and your voice starts to rise. “I already told you, sir, m’not interested.” You get off the bar stool, and he does the same. He corners you against the wall, and a sick feeling starts to grow in your stomach. “C’mon, little lady, I can show you a real good time.” He continues to push through you, and before you can say no, his hand trails up your skirt and squeezes your ass, which causes you to raise your hand and slap him across the face in an instant motion. “I fucking said no, asshole!” you shout back at him.

That was the last straw for Sevika. She couldn’t take it anymore. Her entire body shook from rage and anger from what she had just seen. Instantly, she rises from her seat and slams her fist down onto the table, causing the chips and cards to shake from the force. She makes her way over to the both of you, shoving the guy onto the ground and standing right in front of him, the scene causing the bar to go silent. “Didn’t your dad ever teach you how to respect a lady, boy?” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes down at him. “She already told you, she’s not interested.”

The man glares menacingly up at Sevika as he spat on the ground. “You want something, old hag?” He said back, his tone laced with venom as he looked her up and down. Sevika huffs out of her nose and clenches her metal fist in anger, feeling her rage boil even more at his comment. She takes another step forward at him. “Leave, or I will make you.” She growled out, her stance growing into a fighting position. You stay silent as you keep yourself behind Sevika. The guy gets up from the ground and faces her. “Y’know what?” he says. “It’s fine…didn’t even care about bringing that little bitch home with me anyways.” he spits back referring to you.

Sevika couldn’t stand hearing him insulting you like this, but she needed a good enough excuse to deck him in the face, and she wasn’t gonna take up any more of the disrespect that man was giving you. Without a second thought, her fist flies into his face, knocking some of his teeth clean out as he stumbled back onto the ground. She grabs the man by the collar of his shirt and brings him up to her level. “Fucking mess with my girl again, and you might not make the next hit I give you.” she growls at him before letting him go and shoving him back to the ground.

You look at Sevika in pure shock at what she has done. Now, you weren’t in shock about what she had done to the man; he deserved it. You were more in shock about what she had called you.

“My girl.”

“My girl, my girl, my girl…” Her words repeat in your head like a broken record player. Never in your life, never in the years that you had developed these growing feelings for Sevika, had you expected those words to come out of her mouth.

You snap out of your thoughts as you see the man getting up off the ground and admitting defeat. He scurries out of the bar without a second thought, leaving Sevika standing there as she huffed and caught her breath. She kept her eyes on the doors for a moment in case he tried to come back before finally calming down. She let out a deep breath and turned back to look at you. She had this somewhat fearful look in her eyes, and you knew what it was. She feared that you might have heard the words that slipped from her mouth at that moment. You needed to tell her about it, the curiosity was starting to consume you, but now was not the time or place to talk about that.

You quickly shook your head, pretending to be unaware of it for now. You look around the bar to see that everyone is still silent, still staring at the two of you. “Show’s over!” you exclaim, and everyone goes back to their usual business. “Sevika…are you okay?” you say, approaching closer to her as you check both her human and metal fists for any bruises or dents. 

Sevika could feel her heart flutter when you took her hands into yours, goosebumps erupting on her arm when your soft palms touched her calloused human hand. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she replied, her voice going soft as she looked down at your hands inspecting her own. “I’m more worried about you, though. You ain’t hurt or nothin’?” She asked, looking down at you with concern. You shake your head in response, setting her hands back down at her sides. “No, he just grabbed me, that’s all,” you tell her. She lets out a breath of relief at your response, knowing that you weren’t hurt. After making sure the guy wasn’t around anymore, the two of you decided that it was time to call it a night and head back home instead. “C’mon, let’s start heading out.” She said, putting a hand on your waist as you both exited the bar. 

The ride back was oddly peaceful, to say the least. There wasn’t much to be said at the moment since Sevika had saved you, and you both enjoyed the quiet more than usual as you both took the scenery of the sun setting around you, too. Your hands stayed secure on Sevika’s waist as she rode her horse, and your head rested on her back. You felt so safe around her that your body felt the need to briefly go to rest at that moment. 

The horse came to a stop once you both got back to your father’s ranch, and Sevika noticed that your arms weren’t moving and the grip you had on her waist was more relaxed. She slowly twists herself around to see that you had dozed off behind her during the ride back home. She gently shakes your shoulder to wake you back up, and her insides melt as you slowly regain consciousness. “Hey there, we’re back at your place now,” she says to you softly. “Let me help you get down, darlin’.” 

Sevika moves her hands down from her horse’s reins to your waist, gently lifting you off of the horse before letting you back down onto the ground. She dismounts herself right after, and you gently rub your eyes to fully wake yourself up before looking back up at her. “Thank you again for doing that at the bar, Sev…I really appreciate it.” It made her happy to know that you appreciated her help, but in her mind, it felt like the natural thing to do. “Of course, sweetheart. I couldn’t stand seein’ you be bothered by some creep like him.” She said with a soft grin, looking down at you. “Lemme walk you inside, yeah? S’getting pretty late now.”

You follow by her side as the two of you approach the front door and unlock it, letting yourself inside before Sevika lets herself in behind you and closes the door shut. The house was the same as you had left it, meaning that your dad still wasn’t home yet. This gave you the perfect time to ask Sevika about what she said at the bar. Part of you didn’t want to bring it up, but you couldn’t help it. You needed to know what she meant. “Hey Sev,” you turn around to face her. “Can I ask you something?”

Sevika stood at the doorway for a moment before turning around to face you. “Of course, what is it?” she asked.

You shyly look down at the ground, fumbling with your hands as you try to muster up the courage to ask her this. “At the bar…after you beat up that guy, you…you said something, or, well, called me something to be exact.” You paused for a moment before continuing. “You…you called me your girl…What did you mean by that?”

As soon as you had brought up what she said at the bar, Sevika could start to feel her heart beat out of her chest. She hadn’t intended to say it in the first place; it just slipped in the moment. However, she got caught by you, and she knew she had to explain herself before any misunderstanding occurred. “I…” She started, not knowing what to say. Sevika gulped and brought her gaze to the ground, trying to compose some sort of reply.

It was clear that you had caught her in a vulnerable position by asking her this. You’ve never seen her get like this at all before, but you didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable, so you try to shake off the situation. “It’s okay, Sevika, you don’t have to talk ‘bout it if you don’t want to.” You tell her calmly. “‘Was just curious, that’s all.”

Sevika felt her heart drop for a moment when you told her this. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to say it, she just didn’t know how to tell you. She feared that this could go downhill. But she had to do it. This was her chance; this was the opportunity for her to be honest with you, and she couldn’t keep holding it off anymore. “No, no, I-I can explain,” She insists, reaching her human hand out to take one of yours. You gently grab her hand and bring her over to the couch so she can feel comfortable talking to you. “S’okay Sev, what is it?” you ask her as you sit down right next to her. She didn’t know it, but your heart was beating just as fast as hers was. You were praying to yourself that she’d feel the same way that you did.

Sevika took a deep breath as she prepared herself to share what was going through her mind. She mentally prepared herself for any reaction you had given her, whether it could be anger, disgust, or just any sign of rejection. But she was also hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’d feel the same way that she did. 

“I’ve had my eye on you for a while now, sweetheart, I can’t deny it anymore…” She pauses for a moment before continuing. “Somewhere along the way, I started growin’ some feelings for you in a way I didn’t expect…I…I started falling in love with you.”

Your eyes widened at Sevika’s confession, and you could hear your heart beating faster once she let those words out. However, you give her a look of uncertainty; part of you is still finding it hard to fully believe it. “Sevika…do you really mean that?” you ask her, to which Sevika slowly nods in confirmation and gently squeezes your hand in reassurance. “I mean it, sweetheart, every single damn word.” She said, locking her eyes with yours.

There’s another pause before you gather the courage to ask. “When did you realize it?”

Sevika’s gaze softened, her thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. “That night…your birthday,” she admitted quietly. “When I brought you home, and you kissed me, it was like somethin’ clicked. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you after that.” She paused, her voice growing a bit more vulnerable. “But I think, deep down, I’ve been feelin’ it for a long time before then—I just didn’t have the strength to admit it.”

Sevika’s words made your heart skip a beat, but another detail had left you flustered. “Wait…” you stammered, heat rushing to your cheeks. “I kissed you?” You stared at her, trying to recollect your memory from that night.

Sevika chuckled softly, her lips curving into a small smile. “You don’t remember?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “Guess you were really wasted that night. But yeah, you kissed me—caught me off guard, too.”

Your hands trembled inside hers, the weight of her confession and your embarrassment pushing down on you. You shyly lowered your gaze to the ground. “Sevika, I…I didn’t think you felt the same way,” you admitted quietly. “I’ve caught feelings for so long, but I was afraid to say anything, ‘cause I thought you’d push me away—“

Sevika didn’t want to hear the rest of it. Instead, she places her human hand behind your neck and pulls you in for a tender kiss, cutting you off mid-sentence. You let out a gasp as Sevika locks your lips with hers, and you melt into it instantly. Sevika pulls away for a moment, still keeping her lips near yours. “I could never push away a girl like you, sweetheart,” she whispers and brings you back in for another kiss, your heart fluttering with pure joy at her words. The two of you stay like this for a moment, relishing the feeling of Sevika’s soft lips against yours. However, the mere thought of your father finding out about you and Sevika—his lifelong best friend—starts to hit you like a rock, and you slowly pull away from her. “But Sev, what ‘bout my dad?” You ask her. “You know how protective he is of me…he’ll kill you if he finds out…”

It was hard for Sevika not to feel her heart sink as you brought up the topic of your father finding out. The two of you know that it’ll happen at some point, no matter how hard you both try to be discreet about it. It gave her an uneasy feeling, but it wasn’t something that she wanted to be thinking about right now, and frankly, neither did you.

“I know, sweetheart, but don’t worry about that now,” she said softly. “We’ll figure it out when the time comes. M’not going anywhere, okay? I’m willing to take that risk for whatever happens, as long as I get to make you mine.”

Her words eased the knot that formed in your chest, even if it was just for a little. For now, that reassurance was enough for you. You lean into her and give her another kiss. “Least for now,’ you mutter out to her. “I don’t want him knowin’ yet.” Despite that you had to get serious about keeping your dad from finding out, there was just something about keeping Sevika a secret that you found so…thrilling.

Sevika slowly deepened the kiss, her hands finding themselves on your waist as she shifted you over and straddled you onto her lap, pressing herself closer to you as she took in as much of your scent as she could. She slowly ran her tongue across your lower lip, asking for permission. Your lips part open, and her tongue enters your mouth. Her hands begin to roam up and down your body, and they make a brief stop at your hips. She gently squeezes them to bring you closer to her, causing you to gasp into her mouth. The two of you could feel each other growing needy with each passing second, and you were about to be the one who was bound to submit first.

You pull your mouth away from Sevika for a moment, just to catch a breath and look into her eyes. You brace yourself for what you’re about to ask her next. “My…my dad’s still not home yet...we can take things upstairs if you’d like…” You tell her, playing with the collar of her shirt.

There was no further explanation needed after that. Sevika wanted you, and you wanted her— there was no need to deny it or hide from it anymore. Sevika stands up from the couch, and you wrap your legs around her waist, not wanting to get yourself off of her as the both of you head upstairs to your bedroom.

Sevika enters your bedroom and slowly sets you down on your bed, looking down at you with a look of desire in her eyes as you sink into the bedsheets. Your stetson falls off your head once it hits the bed, so you toss it out of the way as Sevika gets your boots off before doing the same with hers. She’s quick to get on top of you, her broad figure towering over your frame, and the brim of her stetson brushes over your forehead. As you did with yours, you take it off of her head and toss it aside, giving you the space you need to lean into her for another kiss. Once her lips reunited with yours, Sevika gently slipped her thigh between yours while also taking your left leg into her human hand and pulling it up on her hip as she deepened the kiss. Her knee begins to push up against your clothed cunt, and you let out a soft moan, causing you to part your mouth away from hers and tilt your head back against the pillow. This gave Sevika the chance to lean in and let her lips fall onto your neck, savoring every sound that elicited from your mouth as she left a trail of wet marks on your skin. 

The feeling of Sevika’s soft, warm lips pressing against your neck was a feeling that your body couldn’t resist. You begin to squirm under her, and you try to rub your thighs against each other for some relief. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sevika. She quickly realized what you were trying to do. She let her body lean against yours and brought her mouth up to your ear. “Do you need somethin’, sweetheart?” She purrs,  to which you nod quickly in response.

“Words, baby.” she says sternly.

You take a deep breath as you try to get the words out of your mouth. “Yes, Sev…I need you…” You whisper back to her.

Sevika let out a soft hum of approval when you said what she needed to hear, and at that point, she wasn’t going to hold herself back anymore. “Good girl,” she mutters, pushing her thigh harder against you once more. You let out another gasp, praying that Sevika didn’t feel the wetness pooling in your underwear. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, okay?” You start to feel drunk from her touch, trying to muster up another response. “I-I need you to make me feel good, Sev…need you to make me yours…”

With that, Sevika brings her human hand down and her fingers gently trace along the outer edge of your underwear before letting them go south, smirking as she feels the thin fabric start to get wet. Her fingers gently push your panties to the side and begin to give your pussy the attention it’s been needing. “Goodness, you’re so wet, darlin’…is this all for me?” she asks, looking up at you. You nod quickly in response. “Yes, Sev…s’all for you…”  You get desperate for more contact, so as Sevika’s fingertips continue to run through your folds, you reach your hand under your shirt and trail it up to your breast, gently squeezing it.

Sevika’s eyes darkened at the sight of you. It was taking everything in her to not just take you already. The soft gasps, the pretty noises, the sight of your body, the wet sensation of your needy pussy…it was all so perfect. Sevika began to slowly slide one of her thick fingers into your pussy, and you let out a groan as you grind yourself against her, feeling so content with having a part of her inside of you. However, it didn’t feel like enough just yet. You craved more of her, so you decided to pull an unthinkable move. 

Instead of letting Sevika continue, you bring your other hand down to hers and pull her finger out of you. You then bring it up to her lips so she can get a taste of your arousal. You watch as her lips slowly part themselves open, and she sucks on her finger, the taste of you sending a shiver down her spine. Sevika let out a groan of satisfaction before pulling her finger out of her mouth. “Goodness, darlin’…you even taste perfect.” She whispered out to you, leaning down to kiss you deeply. You moan into Sevika’s mouth as a result, tasting your own arousal in the process. You then pull yourself away from her to look into her eyes. “It’s all for you, Sevika…only you.”

A smirk begins to grow on Sevika’s face. She liked what she was hearing. “Hm, all mine, you say? I sure like the sound of that…” she says, her tone almost teasing. Her lips make their way back to your neck, kissing it once more.

“Do you like it when you’re mine, sweetheart?” she mutters as her lips continue to leave new marks against your skin. “Do you like it when I take you apart like this and claim you as my own?”

You nod quickly in response, only to be startled by a sudden harsh squeeze of her prosthetic hand on your hip. “Words, baby. Need to hear you say it.”

“Mmm—yes, Sevika…” you gasp out. “Wanna be yours, only yours.”

“Now that’s more like it.” 

As Sevika continued to kiss down your chest, you allowed yourself to untie the neck of your top and slide it off of yourself, fully exposing your breasts to her. Sevika pulls away and lets her hungry eyes linger over your chest and torso, viewing the areas of your skin as a blank canvas for her to mark her territory with her lips. She brings her mouth down to your breast and begins to gently suck on the soft flesh, causing a moan to escape from your mouth as a result. She smirks against your skin, then brings her lips to your nipple and takes it into her mouth, humming as she feels it quickly harden under her lips. She continues to take her time with you like this, going down your torso mark by mark until she briefly stops at the hem of your skirt. “Lift your hips for me, sweetheart,” she instructs you.

You oblige to her and lift your hips, opening space for her to slide her hands under you and pull your skirt and underwear down in one fluid motion. You’re now completely exposed under her, like a deer in the headlights, and you can’t help but impulsively close your thighs shut in embarrassment once you notice how wet you were for her. Sevika chuckled over how shy you got for her, and she planted a soft kiss above your knee as she looked up at you. “C’mon, sweetheart…don’t get all shy with me now…” she mutters out quietly, gently rubbing your knees in encouragement.

Sevika gently shifts herself down on the bed and lies down on her stomach, settling herself between your closed legs. She moves closer to you, and her hands go down from your knees to your shins. “Open up for me, baby…” she pleads to you. “I promise I’ll take real good care of you, darlin’… but you have to let me in.”

You can’t help but give in to her words, and you slowly spread your legs out, exposing your soaking cunt to the older woman. Sevika could feel her mouth water at the sight, and she was desperate to get a taste of it. “Such a pretty pussy, baby…” she mutters out. “So nice ’n wet for me…gonna fuck you so so good.” She leans into you and begins to gently lap her tongue through your folds, collecting your arousal on her tastebuds. Sevika let a soft growl escape her mouth as she tasted you, her grip on your thighs tightening as she felt her own body react to the sounds you were making. 

“Oh, God…” you gasp out at the sensation, your gaze peering down at Sevika, and she can’t help but chuckle again at your initial reaction as she spreads your thighs out further to get more space. “God ain’t here to help you now, baby, just me.” she says, licking another stripe up your folds. “It’s ironic, though, seein’ as how your wet little pussy is the closest thing to heaven that I could ever get a taste of.” She dives her head back into your pussy for more, but her eyes remain fixed on you as she wants to catch every one of your reactions to her memory. She didn’t want to miss a single thing.

Sevika runs her hands down the back of your thighs and fully lifts your legs up, folding your knees up to your chest so she can get a better view of your pussy. You whimper at the vulnerable position that she puts you in, and you can’t help but tilt your head to the side and cover your face with the back of your hand in an effort to shield yourself. Sevika notices this and instantly takes her mouth off. “Uh-uh, no hiding,” She muttered in between her movements. She brings her metal hand up to yours and moves it away from your face.

“No hiding that pretty face of yours. If you want me to take apart this needy little pussy, you’re gonna let me hear every sound you make, got it? I want to see and hear all of you.” 

You whimper at her words, nodding quickly as you oblige to look at her. “That’s better…” she mutters, bringing her head back down to continue lapping at your cunt. More moans and whimpers continue to leave your mouth as Sevika keeps licking and sucking all of the wet and sensitive areas of your pussy. Without warning, as a sign of eagerness, she slides two of her fingers inside, and you let out a loud groan of satisfaction as she fills you. “Mm, you like that, needy girl? You like it when I fill you up like this?”  she growls lowly at you, keeping her gaze focused on you. She couldn’t take her eyes off of you—not even for a second. Sevika had to watch every single expression that you would make to know that you felt satisfied with the way she was touching you.

Without a second thought, Sevika gently slides a third finger into your pussy, and the reaction she gets out of you is priceless. Your jaw drops down, and your eyes roll back in pleasure when she begins to curl her fingers inside of you at a painfully slow pace. She leans into you and wraps her lips onto your throbbing clit, giving it the attention it needs. It didn’t take long for her to increase the speed of her fingers, instantly hitting all of the right spots for you to get close. “Oh fuck, Sev! Right there!” You call out to her, your hands gripping the sheets to keep yourself steady as she continues to ram her fingers inside your tight walls.

“You’re such a good girl f’me, lettin’ me hear all of you like that.” Sevika mutters from between your thighs. Her pace goes even faster this time, her hand being so strong that you could feel your whole torso shift back and forth on the bed. Your pussy begins to clench around her fingers, practically sucking them in you and taking them in all to yourself as you start to get close. “S-Sevika, please don’t stop…m’so close.”

“C’mon, sweetheart, cum for me…” Sevika’s fingers never stop moving, and she doesn’t take her eyes off of you as she is desperate to see the look on your face for when you cum undone onto her fingers. Your pussy starts to spasm around her, and the coil in your stomach begins to get tighter and tighter as you reach your peak. However, that building sensation felt a little different than usual. “S-Sevika, baby, wait,” You try to warn her. “I-I think I’m gonna—“

But it was too late. You couldn’t even finish your sentence as a loud moan of her name replaced it instead. Your jaw drops again, and your vision goes white as an obscene amount of your release squirts out of your pussy without warning, completely soaking Sevika’s face, fingers, and your bedsheets.

Sevika watched in awe as the beautiful sight of your orgasm unfolded right in front of her, never once letting her fingers slow down until you were thoroughly done with your release. Then, slowly, she eased her fingers out of you before lifting her head and licking them clean. Her eyes close for a moment as she savors the sweet and salty taste of your cum on her fingers. “My god, darlin’, you taste so damn good.” she mutters under her breath.

Her eyes blink back open and fix back on you as you recover from your high. Your eyes were fluttered shut, your head was tilted back against the pillow, and your breathing was evening itself out. After a few moments, you blink your eyes back open and bring yourself down to see Sevika still lying in between her legs. Her face and the collar of her shirt were soaked in your release, and you looked down to see the mess you created on your bedsheets. “Oh my god…” you gasp out. Your cheeks start to flush in embarrassment, and your trembling thighs close shut once again. A smirk spread across Sevika’s lips over how flustered you were getting. “Never done that before now, have you?” she asked. Your gaze shifts to the side, and you shake your head. Sevika brings her human hand up to your cheek, tilting your head back to her. “That…” she pauses, leaning in to kiss you. “Was the hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen.” She kisses you again and leans into your ear. “No one else gets to make you feel like this. No one else gets to fuck this pussy like I do. You’re all mine now, sweetheart. Mine and only mine.” 

“M’all yours, Sev…” you assure her. You’d hate to admit it, but the way that Sevika got possessive towards you turned you on in a way that you couldn’t explain. However, you couldn’t help but test out if she’d really feel the same way with you. You tilt your head and lean into her. “In that case…does that mean you’re mine too?”

Oh, now Sevika was intrigued. She gently pulled her head back, looking back at you directly. “That a challenge now? You gonna be possessive over me?” she purrs at you, her eyes still locked onto yours. “You’re playing a dangerous game there, sweetheart,” she warns. “And you might get yourself in trouble.”

“Trouble?” you say in mock innocence, clutching your hand over your chest as if you had been threatened by her. “No no no, m’not looking for that. I was simply just wonderin’ if now…” You pause for a moment, moving your head from Sevika’s ear to her neck to gently plant kisses of your own onto her skin. “…if now, I could return the favor.”

Sevika lets a low chuckle escape her, and her eyes flutter shut for a moment just to feel the sensation of your lips against her skin. Her smirk remains on her face, though, still keeping her tough persona on you as she refuses to submit. “Hmm”, she muttered, the tone in her voice laced with amusement. “You think just ‘cause you want it you can get it that easy? You seem to be getting ahead of yourself, sweetheart.”

Your uncertain look shifts into a pout, and Sevika can’t help but chuckle at you. “Ahead of myself? You think just ‘cause you can claim me, I can’t do the same?”

Without thinking twice, you shift away from Sevika and sit up on the bed. You hook your fingers onto the belt loops of her jeans and switch places so she’s now lying down. You go around her and wrap your legs around her torso, keeping you under her grip. You then grab her by the collar of her shirt and pull her towards you, locking your lips with hers in a deep kiss. She lets out a low moan against your lips and wraps an arm around you, her human hand reaching down to grab your ass tightly and keeping you pressed against her. You pull away from her after a moment, and your mouth starts to travel from her lips to her jaw, beginning to mark your territory on Sevika’s tanned skin by planting wet marks of your own.

Sevika let out a low whine as she felt every mark that your lips left behind, and her hand on your ass tightened as you kept going, squeezing your soft flesh between her fingers. “I thought you were gonna be treating me right, huh?” She teases with a smirk, feeling her body start to warm up as her hand moves up to your waist. You simply smirk against her skin, not stopping your movements. “M’just getting started, Sev…” Your hands trail up to the collar of her shirt, fingers meeting together at the first button. The first button pops open under your touch, and you make your way down to the hem until Sevika briefly lifts herself up to fully slide it off her shoulders and toss it to the ground. 

With your legs still wrapped around her, you sit yourself up to admire the sight of her exposed self beneath you. Your eyes trail down from her neck to her breasts, watching in awe over how large and beautiful they were. You trail your hands up and give them a gentle squeeze, watching how her soft flesh seeps through your fingers and feeling her nipples instantly harden under your palms.

A satisfied groan elicits from Sevika’s mouth as she begins melting into your touch. It was almost as if her own body was betraying her and submitting to you. But she couldn’t allow herself to give in like this so easily. “You’re mine,” she reminds you, lifting her hand and lightly running it over your thigh. “You keep touching me like this, and m’not gonna be able to hold back anymore. You sure you’re ready for that, sweetheart?”

A smirk grows on your face, and you lean back down to her level and bring her in for a kiss. “Then don’t hold back, Sevika,” you whisper to her. “You’re mine too, you know… and I’m ready for whatever comes next.”

With that, you continue to mark up the rest of Sevika’s body, your lips making the route south past her breasts and her abdomen, until they make a stop at the waistband of her jeans. Your lips part from her skin, and you begin to undo the belt buckle of her jeans, desperate to get them off of her. Sevika watched with growing desperation as you did so, and as soon as she heard the buckle come undone, she lifted up her hips and slid her jeans and boxers off of her thighs, letting you get rid of them completely.

You kneel back on the heels of your feet as Sevika opens up for you, and the sight of her was fucking glorious. Her brown, puffy folds perfectly framed her cunt which was completely shining with her arousal, and you could just visibly see the movements of her clit throbbing with desperation. Her pussy exhibited a kind of desire that only you could fix.

And so you immediately put yourself to work. You shift down on the bed and lie down on your stomach, your face now being settled in between Sevika’s thighs. With no hesitation, you dive right into her and lick a stripe up her pussy, your eyes closing in pure bliss at the addicting taste of her. 

Sevika lowly moaned your name once your tongue came into contact with her pussy, already so immersed in the pleasure that she didn’t even notice that her hand had tangled its fingers into your hair, holding you tightly against her. “Oh fuck, darlin’…you’re so good at this…” she praises.

Your eyes blink themselves open, briefly falling out of your trance as you look up at Sevika with the purest and most innocent look in your eyes as you meet her heavy ones. Sevika can’t help but slightly lift your face off of her pussy for a moment just to see the full look of you with her arousal now dripping from your lips, smirking as she does so. “Don’t give me that look now, sweetheart. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Her teasing spurs you on, and you lean back into her pussy and continue to lap your tongue up her folds as she continues talking. “Wonder what your dad might think…his sweet girl submitting down to me like this…I bet he’d lose his damn mind if—oh fuck—“ She cuts herself off with a low groan as you insert a finger into her pussy, her nails digging into her scalp as she jerks her hips into your face.

“A-ah—“ you let out a groan against her pussy, and your eyes close shut again, fully immersed in the feeling of having Sevika’s hands in your hair while devouring her pussy. You quickly add in a second finger, and your lips travel up to suck her throbbing clit, causing Sevika to shut her eyes and arch herself further into your face, moaning and pleading you to keep going. “Fuck, oh god, sweetheart…k-keep going…”

Your tongue lays flat on her clit as it shifts up and down, and your fingers start to curl back and forth inside of her, instantly hitting all the right spots as you give her pussy all the attention it needs. Your movements catch Sevika completely off guard, her eyes flying open as she watches you devour her. “Oh fuck, right there! Right fuckin’ there…” she groans out, the wave of pleasure starting to rise in her as you begin to go faster.

It didn’t take long for Sevika to get close, and you could tell she was by the way her pussy began to clench and contract around your fingers. “God damn, darlin’, don’t fuckin’ stop…m’so close…” she pleads out to you. It was almost as if Sevika had no control over her pleasure anymore and became reliant on you to make her finish, and that’s exactly what you were going to do.

Sevika’s body begins to convulse, and you quickly lift your mouth off of her clit and replace it with your thumb, quickly rubbing it in circular motions as your eyes stay fixed on her, impatiently waiting to see the look on her face for when she comes undone. Sevika’s moans grow louder, quickly turning into cries of pleasure until she reaches her peak and cums with a final cry of your name as her eyes roll to the back of her head. Her pussy squeezes a few more times until your fingers are met with the warmth of her release, creaming them from your fingertips down to your knuckles. It was truly the most beautiful sight you have seen and felt.

As Sevika comes down from her high, she finds herself unable to say anything or even get a full breath until your fingers slow down and withdraw from her completely. Her eyes then flutter back open to see you sucking your fingers clean and savoring the salty taste of her release on your tastebuds. “My god, sweetheart…you can’t even imagine what you just did to me…” Sevika managed to say, lifting her metal hand to hold the side of your face. You lean into the palm of her prosthetic as it cups your cheek, and you pull your fingers out of your mouth once they were clean so you could speak. “I told you I can claim you just as good.” you say with a giggle.

Sevika let out a sharp exhale as she took in the sight of you. “I sure see that now…” she then slowly sits herself up, a smirk beginning to rise on her face as she leans in to kiss you, briefly tasting her release on your lips before pulling away. “Think you got another one in you, darlin’?”

Your eyes remain on hers when she asks you that, an eyebrow raising up as curiosity begins to pique your interest. “Depends if I can handle it, baby… What do you have in mind?”

Sevika lets out a chuckle as her metal hand moves to your chin and pulls you in for a deeper kiss. “For starters, how about we trade places, yeah?” she coos out, her hand sliding down from your chin to your waist, slowly rolling you over so you’re back to lying down on your bed with her hovering over you. She then leans back on the heels of her feet to grab onto each of your legs and she spreads them as far open as possible. To no surprise, you were completely wet for her again, as if she hadn’t even touched you at all. 

Sevika lets out a low groan at the sight of you, completely helpless and vulnerable under her grasp. “Mmm, you look so pretty like this, sweetheart…” she purrs out, her eyes never leaving your lower half. As she takes in the sight, Sevika lets a small smirk rise to her face as she leans down closer to your pussy, her grip remaining firm on your legs. “Such a pretty little thing…and so wet for me again already…it’s like she’s crying for more of me.” She continues, shifting her face closer.

“Mmm, Sev…again…” you whine out to her, then let out a soft moan as you feel that familiar tongue of hers lick a new stripe through your folds, followed by a hum of satisfaction coming from her. You had fully given yourself the expectation that Sevika would use her mouth and fingers on you again, but that wouldn’t be the case this time.

Sevika lifts her head back up and takes a second to admire how you looked under her; with your legs spread out under her tight grip and your soaked pussy clenching around nothing as a desperate sign to be filled up. She silently cursed herself for not wearing her strap tonight. She would’ve loved to see the beautiful sight of you being split open by her cock, thrusting into your pussy relentlessly until you’re shaking and coating her length with your release. However, she also wasn’t going to end the night abruptly and miss out on the opportunity to fuck you again, so she had to improvise.

With that, Sevika opens her own legs while keeping her grip on yours. She then hovers over you and presses her pussy right on top of yours, causing you to let out a gasp at the newfound feeling. The way that Sevika’s pussy fit perfectly against yours like that—the way her folds meshed on top of yours as if it were the missing piece of a puzzle—felt so satisfying to you.

Sevika lets out a moan once her cunt came into contact with yours, eyes fixed on the sight of it before she looks back up at you. “You feel that, sweetheart? Feel how good we fit together?” she muses out before pressing down even more and grinding up against you. “It’s like you were made for me, darlin’…Every part of you fits me right where it belongs.” As she felt how addicting it was to rub up against you, Sevika found herself closing her eyes and letting out more soft sounds of pleasure as she continued to slowly grind her pussy over yours. Your body gives the same reaction, your eyes fluttering themselves shut and your head slowly tilting back against the pillow, moaning at the sensation. “S-Sev, my God—you feel amazing…”

Without stopping her slow movements, Sevika slides her prosthetic hand under your head and gently tilts it up, leading you to open your eyes and look at her. You were so in awe of how she looked, how she sounded, and most of all, how she felt against you. It felt like you were in a fever dream. You were completely drunk on her, and she knew it. She loved it.

“S-Sev…” you gasp out, taking a second to catch your breath. “D-Don’t stop—ah!” 

Sevika brushes her clit over yours, causing you to cut off your sentence with a cry of pleasure. Your head throws back against her hand, and your body arches itself further into her pussy. Sevika lets out another low groan on her end, and her hand sets your head back onto the pillow and trails downwards to press down on your lower stomach. “You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart,” she murmurs, increasing the pace of her grinding. “You just keep making those sounds for me—ah—you sound so pretty baby…”

You start to whine under her as your gaze drops down to where you and Sevika were connected, and you can’t help but weakly grind against her, desperate to chase that stimulation again. Sevika looks down on you and smirks. She could tell you were trying to ask her something. “What is it, darlin’? You wanna feel that again?” 

Sevika felt no reason to ask again or to hear an answer from you. She fulfills your need as she brings her hand down to your pussy and lifts the hood with her thumb to expose your clit to her. She then adjusts herself upwards so her clit can stay directly pressed onto yours. “There you go, sweetheart…” she purrs out, moaning as your clit begins to throb against hers. “You just take that, baby…take my pussy for me like a good girl.” She begins to grind faster after that, making sure her clit rubs against yours with every move of her hips. But it still wasn’t enough.

“F-Faster, Sev, please…need to get there…” you plead out to her once more, and without a second thought—with no warning whatsoever—Sevika gives it her all and her movements start to go at a fast and relentless pace, completely catching you off guard. “Oh fuck, Sev! Right t-there, o-oh God…” Your words trail out at the end and your jaw goes slack at the intense pleasure she was hitting you with. Sevika couldn’t help but admire the sinful sight of you under her—so vulnerable and drunk in pleasure, with your mouth agape and your eyes all hooded, your hands still gripping tightly onto the sheets and your breasts bouncing uncontrollably as Sevika continued to ram her pussy against yours. It was a sight that she never wanted to stop seeing.

“Mmm…y-you look so…fuckin’ pretty like…this…” Sevika moans out to you, her words coming out in a heated tone as she watches your blissed-out expression. “Look how good you’re taking my pussy for me, my sweet girl…” Sevika presses herself harder against you, and you don’t even realize it, but she ends up taking your leg that was on top of hers and folds it to your chest to get a better angle, making sure she continues to hit the right spots for the two of you to finish. You start to cry in pleasure over the new position, and your legs start to shake under her grasp. “Sevika! O-Oh God, Sev—Right there! Right there, please!” you exclaim, practically begging her to keep her position there. The two of you were at your loudest right now. Between your cries and begs of pleasure, Sevika’s groaning, and the pornographic sound of your pussies squelching as they rub against each other, you’re honestly surprised that the two of you haven’t woken up the entire town at this point.

Sevika lets out a low, heated groan in response to your words, her movements not stopping one bit “Mmm, fuck…my God you feel so good…” she says, her breathing now coming out in heavy, uneven pants. As Sevika keeps her human hand on your thigh, her metal hand swings above your head and grabs onto the headboard to keep herself steady. The familiar coil in your stomach begins to form, and you start to get close again. “S-Sev…I…I’m so…” you pant out to her, trying your best to get the words out of your mouth. Sevika simply shushes you, trying to have you save whatever energy you had left in you for your release. “Shhh, baby, I know, I know…” she coos back, opening her eyes to look down at you. “Just let it go for me, sweetheart…let it all out.”

Sevika continues to talk you through it as you reach your peak, and with that, her clit brushes up against yours a few more times which finally pushes you both over the edge. Your cries of pleasure start to go in sync with her groaning, and both pussies begin to spasm around each other before you cum all over Sevika’s folds with a loud moan of her name. Sevika catches her release shortly after you, her hips stuttering out before finishing with a loud groan as her fluids spill out of her pussy and land onto yours. The two of you take a moment to catch each other’s breath, and Sevika slowly loosens her grip on your thigh while she lets go of the headboard. The two of you look down to where you were both connected, and Sevika pulls her cunt away from yours, causing you to whine at the loss. The strings of slick connecting the two of you breaks and Sevika slowly closes your legs before settling down next to you. “Mmm…sweetheart...You did so well for me…” she murmurs to you as she gently kisses your shoulder, her voice still filled in a deep and husky tone. Even after having sex with her, you still couldn’t help but find her voice to be intoxicating.

You simply hum at her in response and try to muster up some energy to tilt your head over and plant a quick kiss on her lips, leading the older woman to wrap her human arm around you and pull you closer to her. The warmth of Sevika’s embrace fades into the stillness of your bedroom, and the exhaustion catches up to you quickly, causing your eyes to flutter shut as slumber starts to consume you. It feels like only a moment has passed when your eyes open again, and you find yourself tucked beneath a clean set of sheets and a barrier of soft cotton hugging your figure. Your eyes slowly dart around your bedroom, and your heart sinks when you see Sevika with her boxers back on and searching for the rest of her clothes. A lump forms in your throat as you realize she’s getting ready to leave. You want to ask her to stay, just a little longer, even though you both know she has to go before your dad comes back. Before you can stop yourself, the words are quick to slip out of your mouth.

“Sevika?” you call out softly, your voice still laced with sleep. Sevika is quick to stop what she was doing to tend to you. “Hey there,” she says, giving you a soft smile once she sees that you had woken up. “You alright?”

You hesitate for a moment before continuing. The words feel heavy on your tongue, but the ache that was growing in your chest outdoes it. “Could you…could you stay…just a little longer? Please?” you finally ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sevika pauses, and her eyes flicker to the window where the faint glow of the moonlight is still filtering through it. For a moment, you thought she’d say no—but this time, she gives in—and whatever worries about your dad's arrival in the morning seemed to fade as she turned back to you with ease. “Of course, sweetheart…I’ll stay with you.” she murmurs, her voice tender as she removes her prosthetic arm and sets it down on the ground next to the bed. The weight of the bed shifts as Sevika climbs back into bed and lies down right behind you. Her human hand wraps around your waist and pulls you close to her. You instantly melt into her strong, warm embrace, but you can’t shake the possibility of your father walking in on the two of you, making you feel uneasy. Sevika is quick to take note of this and leans in to plant a couple of soft kisses on your shoulder blade, her lips brushing your ear as she leans into you. “Hey. Don’t worry about that right now, okay?” she murmurs. “Everything will be fine, I promise…I’ve got you.”

You nod, the weight of her words sinking in as her embrace wraps you in comfort and warmth. Slowly, the uneasiness disappears, soon replaced by a sense of peace only Sevika could give you. With her presence beside you, you let go of all your worries, and the gentle rhythm of her breathing brings you into a deep, restful sleep. As you drift off, a soft, reassuring thought crosses your mind—this night with Sevika felt like the start of something real, something that won’t fade.

For now, you’re unsure of what the future might hold, but with Sevika by your side, you feel ready for whatever could happen next.

god i wish she was real

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