#in my defense i dont have a brain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
First meetings part 5
<< <
Bonus episode
Well this isn't how Y/N wanted to let their new aquaintance know that they are a witch... especally because that new aquaintance has been living with wizards for a very long time and probably absorbed their biases
Seems like Sun and Moon are more concerned for Y/Ns safety than anything else though... Lets just say they have some history with witch executions..
Sun really just said "i dont want to deal with this situation" and noped out by pulling the curtains closed... good for him
#automaton au#dca fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#daycare attendant x y/n#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#my art#i am not really happy withthe pacing in this :(#is fine tho i guess#y/n is just like oh there is two?? well anyways#they actually used this flashy defense spell because it only flashes and disorientates and doesnt hurt#they saw that the guys were freaking out but didnt actually mean them any harm#which isnt allways granted especally in the capital#y/n accidently outing themselves because they come from a place they dont have to hide that they are a witch is totally not me projecting#i keep accidently coming out to people at places were its maybe not the safest because i have a big mouth with no filter#and then my brain catches up in the middle of the sentence you and me both y/n
881 notes
·
View notes
Text
Based on a real group chat convo (I was Jingyi)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin ling#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#bonus comic#ok in my defense I was late to the convo *and* they were posting pictures of the elements (both rocks/metals!!)#my brain saw it and went “oh!! cool rocks!! I wanna pick my favourite too”. Little did I know the pie was rapidly approaching my face.#I like to think this trio makes up fun little codenames for missions. because it’s fun.#In the end they made him choose one of the elements that started with A so they could be ABC#what is the point of a group chat if*not* to set a theme and become a different power trio each month?#these three personalities in a group chat with nickname power would be chaos to watch tbh....its what they deserve#shout out to the besties who let me turn our group chat shenanigans into a comic.#they dont understand mdzs but they support my enthusiasm.#gonna put this one after the basketball comic so we go from 'balling' to 'getting dunked on'#I have elemental codenames for a good chunk of the mdzs cast but I'd love to hear other ppl's thoughts too B*) come on fellow science nerds#Maybe even tell me *your* elemental code name! For the fun of it
617 notes
·
View notes
Text
(4 years into the hyperfixation) i need more hank and connor
#theyre like smelling nail varnish. moreish#i dont huff nail varnish btw just if someone opens a pot(jar? container? what is it) i have to have a little sniff as a treat#and its rare i ever come across it because i keep my nails boring and paintless#well now im being suspiciously defensive about it#hank and connor are doing more damage to my brain than inhaling nail varnish ever will
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
1:38AM thoughts (on Aziraphale bc he has taken over my body help he's making me write things in his defense, well except this part, obviously, I am doing a joke, haha):
"We can be together!" and "I need you!" followed by "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." is so fucking tragic to me? It's like he's saying 'I love you, I want to be with you' reeeaaally really clearly (though some people would rather just ignore it and are all 'oh, Aziraphale's only talking about jobs and promotions'). He is offering Corwley a way they can be with each other for realsies, no take-backsies without fear or interference, with earth and humanity protected (which Crowley was previously the main advocate for, remember) and Crowley hits him with "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."
Wanna know what I'd have thought in Azi's place at that? I'll tell you anyway: whoa, fuck, I completely misinterpreted everything Crowley's been throwing my way for... a long time! He doesn't want to be together together, he just likes to be really good friends and wants to keep that up, he's so lonely on earth, being a good demon that he expresses his platonic love in a way reminiscent of pining love-interests- heck, maybe I'm so lonely down here that I misread common best-buddies-stuff as romantic interest! This is bad. He understands what I want to do here and he doesn't want that. He wants to be 'us' as we have been for millennia. I... don't know if I want that... I don't want to hide this shit, but if he doesn't reciprocate, then I'd make him uncomfortable and things wouldn't work out anyways. Guess I might as well save us both the pain of one-sided love and a friendship that can never be the same again and go. Now I'm angry. This isn't at all how it was supposed to be. I need distance now. From him, our relationship and my emotions bc this hurts. Ouchie. Rude.
And then Crowley mentions the nightingale and hits him with that angry, tragic as fuck kiss? The (potentially perceived) mockery! Crowley is mocking Azi's feelings for him. 'Is that what you want, angel? This? Silly birds proverbially singing about our love? Kissing? That's what you want for us?'Yes, it is, damn you a second time!
#i might be wrong#I'm probably not exactly correct#but listen i have an angsty teenager stuck in my trauma-filled brain and it needs an outlet#also with all the shit the crowley stans make up to bash Az#i think we deserve some ridiculous takes in Azi's defense ourselves 😌#it is now 2am. this was a sleepy-brain post#current-me thinks future-me will hope i dont piss anyone off#current-me is on the fence about wanting beef#good omens#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziracrow#aziraphale#good omens season 2#aziraphale defense squad takes
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like debating who Loki was talking to when he said "For You" in the last episode, is missing the point of the scene. And people referring to it as "cowardly" and a "no-homo" moment is just?? Baffling to me tbh because like;
First of all, it is obviously intended to be to both of them? If they only wanted to make it about Sylvie, Mobius wouldn't be there. If they only wanted to make it about Mobius, Sylvie wouldn't be there. If they wanted to make it about everyone they would've just framed it more equally, he does do it for all his friends ("for all of us"), but they have that scene to highlight these two specific relationships. The framing is quite clear, they have him take a last look at all of his friends before going down the stairs, but Mobius and Sylvie runs after him to have a final significant moment.
Which absolutely makes sense and is consistent with the show we have seen so far, s1 and s2 combined, which is what I love about it. And it was to be honest a surprise! Going into this season, I had little hope for Loki/Mobius interactions, just didn't want to expect too much since S1 had a lot of their connection, but that could've been it. I was shocked when s2ep1 was full to the brim with Loki and Mobius scenes? And then they kept reinforcing every week that they care about each other, is a funny duo to watch, and are important to one another.
And despite this, I expected the rug to at some point be pulled, especially compared to Loki's relationship to Sylvie. No matter people's personal viewing on the show, she is still cited as a love interest by showrunners and is just portrayed as that by the narrative a lot of the time. Sidelining that, even in s2 when the romantic hints are more vague, she's still a very important person in Loki's life. She played a central part of the plot and Loki's own character development of understanding himself.
So to me, I was surprised seeing Mobius and Sylvie side by side in the end. Both being framed as The important people in Loki's life. Then, however you wanna see in what ways they are important is up to you, but they are the people he keeps coming back to for advice and self-reflection. You can frame it as "oh it should've been only been Mobius and they added Sylvie to downplay it", which, I just disagree with (If they wanted to go for explicitly canon Lokius they needed to set that up even more earlier in the season but that's a post for another day). Sylvie is still like, a constant in the narrative and driving force of s1, even if s2 changes things around a bit, and imo it would be inconsistent if she just vanished here. I guess I am used to media that downplays a meaningful dynamic between two dudes in more aggressive ways, which they absolutely could've done, and would've taken me out of the story to be honest... but they didn't, Mobius and Sylvie got to be side by side in the end and that imo validated the Loki/Mobius dynamic way more than downplays it.
TLDR; The "For you" was for both Mobius and Sylvie because why would you frame it that way otherwise, and having them side by side like that validates Lokius way more than downplays it in a "no-homo" way considering the full context of the show.
#marvel blogging#amanda rambles#loki#lokius#putting it in the tag in case people have other thoughts id be curious#ive been struggling with this post but needed to gET IT OUT bc it has been rattling in my brain#sorry if it ended up incoherent anyway#loki spoilers#kinda decided against putting it in the s*lki tag bc i feel like i downplay it a bit here and i know u dont want that#like i dont reALLY enjoy playing the 'my ship is VALID and sUPPORTED BY CANON' debating and i feel like i touch on it here.#but i kinda just want to like. throw my thoughts in#to why i DID feel good about this.#like whenever they do those almost looking into the camera no-homo moments it just breaks immersion COMPLETELY#if all the actors today said in interviews that it is never intended and would never be intended to be anything else that is one thing#but when a character says something like that that feels like it is ONLY to dismiss any chances in canon. even if unnatural etc. feels bad#and this wasnt IT#i know the big mcu show doesnt need me defending it but this sure reads like a defense of the show huh#tbh it started with the first paragraph bc this is also about media analsys#ALSO if u hc that it was to one of them it's like. ok. but like.#maybe not throw conspiracies out there.#also these posts AND tags are becoming longer. im losing my mind but it's fine.
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i resent how many defenses of this game are like well it doesnt have to be fun games dont have to be fun#it may be true that games dont need to be fun but i am having fun. im having a ball.#theres some deep wrongness in my brain that makes this game relatively easy and a lot of fun. 2 me.#avpost
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i often call my dissociation 'autopilot' because it works well as an explanation but my god do i feel like an actual robot on autopilot these days. not just because 'i'm not in control of myself' or whatever, that's normal, but because i feel like the autopilot is beginning to break down. i've been zoned out for so long that it's run out of normal behavior to reference, so it's referencing what was a shoddy replica to begin with, and that results in a lot of oddities
mostly i've been noticing myself happily responding to people without actually even looking in their direction. like my eyes and head will just lock and i'll go a whole conversation animatedly replying while looking in the wrong spot (i'm usually very good about eye contact, or at the very least looking at people). also my reaction time / processing speed is waaaay slowed to the point where i'm starting to get nervous about driving so. that's cool
#cannot figure out what the hell is going on ive been told my dissociation/derealization is largely a defensive response#but the fuck am i defending against now? im not actively in college for a few months i dont have (read: can't find) a job i do nothing 24/7#i do not feel like a human person. and i USUALLY dont but now i really dont#what if my brain melted into schlock. that would be nice#sparks speaks#/vent#sorry new followers this is the only place employers dont check so its my silly diary <3#block sparks speaks or vent if u dont wanna see idm
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw blood (kind of? in different colors that dont make it look quite like it), organs
warm up + greyscale screen filter challenge !!! featuring yuuichi eating normal human (in origin) food😁😁😁
#re:kinder#fanart#yuuichi mizuoka#he was meant to be eating watermelon#but as usual my brain felt silly goofy and decided to twist it for the lols#havent done rendering since i was 15 have mercy#since this is a warm up there are. more mistakes than usual but in my defense i forgot how to draw#michael how did you forget how to draw you were drawing JUST 4 DAYS AGO#ocurre y acontece the yet to be diagnosed and determined hand condition has been acting up in those days i have not drawn#AND SOMEHOW IT MESSED WITH MY HAND TO EYE COORDINATION it got rid of my inner calibration settings ig#but since being out of it for days in pain made me sad I WAS NOT ABOUT TO BE STOPPRD FROM DRAWING YUUICHI FOR THE MILLIONTJ TIME#it would have been a bad idea to let myself rust even longer because i dont know if unspecified undetermined condition will act up tomorrow#so irs best to draw and warm up and set back them inner calibration settings#IT WORKED AND THIS DRAWING TURNED OJT BLUE����😭😭#OF ALL THINGS I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD TURN OUT BLUE whenever i did look at the color wheel i swear. i was on the warm side#placed greyscale filter on computer so i wouldnt see color and painted like that tossing random colors AND YET IT TJRNED OUT UNIFIED#which. welcome results but i cannot believe it is blue and green. i swear whenver i looked at thay cplored wheel it was up in the warm side#well most of the time i did not look at it so it makes sense i didnt realize but i seriously did not think it would look as coherent#doesnt have any deep meaning or anytjing i just found random referenxe and flew from there#but interpret as you will if you wanna
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
amadeus is getting more deranged earlier than originally planned but im leaning into it because i'm having fun
as far as im concerned this just means i have to get even more deranged as it goes. continually escalate. in the middle of episode 3 if you hear a single piece of tonal music i'm not doing my job
#in my defense#if YOU just finished having 12 years of memories yeeted from your brain by a witch#and then find that you've been mega trolled. if that happened. would you be entirely sane#probably not#and would your mental state not warrant a deranged track to convey it#well. i would think so#i say im writing umineko 2 and in SO many ways i rly am but the difference between amadeus and umineko#is i am physically incapable of the masterfully pAINFULLY slooooowwwww buildup in episode 1#so i think the pacing is going to be more like. well. yeah i mean idk he's completely unwell.#enjoy!#also further in my defense i wrote a whole devlog several months ago about how this game is inspired by sonic adventure#you dont write a game inspired by sonic adventure that doesnt hit the ground running#my main goal is just for you to be running and have no earthly idea where you're going#and if it helps neither does amadeus <3
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
MY LIZARD BIT ME AGAIN BC HE SUCKS AT EATING BANANAS
#in his defense his brain is very small#'chai dont hand feed him then' I HAVE TO HES DUMB#and injures himself on tongs#im not bleeding this time so its fine he just scuffed my nail#∞࿚ ooc.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Maybe this is going to sound so stupid AKFKKRKEKFKFKF but where do you start learning about angels? Any particular sources that you recommend? I want to expand my knowledge on ✨👼🪽a n g e l l o r e ✨👼🪽 without accidentally falling from some tradcath's attempt at making church look cooler than it really is
Youre not stupid!! and I don't want to start coming off as The Authority on angels or anything - I'm just a guy. I think I'm really wary of others positioning themselves as an authority on angels (or theology generally) when they make videos/tiktoks explaining angel forms/hierarchies/etc. hence my frustrations
Unfortunate boring answer but: I think the best place to start is the Bible, reading the (few!) scenes where angels are present, examining how they act and how they speak. Read the scene where Jacob wrestles the angel, or the one where angels rush over to comfort Jesus after his days in the desert, or the angel that shakes Elijah awake then feeds him (then does it another time). (Book of Tobit, too, if you want to see Raphael!)
It's after this that I think you can start getting into the "sources." I would recommend reading the Book of Enoch - it's short, the summaries of it online are not good imo, and it's pretty simple. One translation I've been enjoying atm is George Schodde's ! Next, I would suggest moving onto the real "angelologists."
So, of course - Pseudo-Dionysius' The Celestial Hierarchy. Books like Thomas Heywood's Hierarchie of the Blessed Angells, and dictionaries about angels/demons. Here is where all the "fun" stuff is! I'm a boring loser so I usually read up on these, before or after, on JSTOR (or at least I did until I graduated) because you can learn a lot about the context in which they were written, and why you might not want to take what's in this umbrella of angelology/theology at face value. (Remember that these type of books/studies were often commissioned by powerful people.)
Around here or after this, you can move onto the writing about angels that isn't trying to convince you it's actual theology – so Milton's Paradise Lost or William Blake's work generally. I love William Blake, he's probably the only guy more in love with Lucifer than I am.
I wish I had a singular "Angels" book that I recommend but, as of now, not yet! I've hardly touched modern full-length books on angels, just articles (and those don't feel introductory enough to recommend, i think?)
But honestly? Just do whatever you want! No one is the authority on angels, just have fun with them fr <33
#angels lore is kind of tricky too because at once point you're just reading up on Jewish history and culture#regardless im sorry i dont have like youtube or tiktok recs or anything simple#in my defense im (was) a journalist so im used to just going to sources myself and not trusting anyone on the way LMAO#one day ill talk about how the Book of Enoch summaries online are horrible at explaining the actual contents of the book#again sorry for my “just go straight to the sources” brain#anyway#mine#ask#theology rant#oh i guess i have some JSTOR articles still saved but not a lot anymore because i am out of uni#one that stuck with me though is “Some Uses of Angel Iconography in English Literature” by Harry Morris ig
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
OUGHHH I FOROGR
#i was supposed to go to my sisters house ;;;;#in my defense i was planning to go to both of my sisters houses on the same day#except i had to wait for a confirmation from my other sister as to WHAT DAY would be good#and it is now 7pm on sunday. i had all weekend.#my sister never fucking replied to me <3<3<3 guess ill#uh#fucking uhh#NOT teach her crochet#but it's also v late to get up and go out on a work day >:(#and i couldve had this done earlier. i COULD have had this done YESTERDAY#of my sister had actually replied#but nooooo my brain got stuck in 'just wait for confirmation before finalizing plans' mode#and now it's fucking 7pm on fucking sunday when i texted her on fucking FRIDAY MORNING.#and i forgot to actually PLAN THIS OUT#BC I WAS STUCK IN WAITING MODE.#gods. im just.#hhhhhhh#and now i have to figure out a different time for this bc i cant. i cant go out and do shit at 7pm.#sigh#my other sister is gonna be annoyed about it and i know that#shh ac#edit: cus i dont feel like adding on to it#but yeah i kinda figured i would get a response like that 👍#tbf my message was a little passive aggressive but like dude. i was ALSO in a shitty space all weekend.#its sooo funny that she seems to think that shes the only one who ever gets into shitty moods. lmao. lol even.#and im not saying i dont understand not responding to texts when in a bad mental state-#hell i left my mom on read for 2 days and i still have other messages ik i should respond to#but like. when it comes to messages that are time sensitive like that like. i could accept a 'no not this week' or whatever#its just#urgh
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ough, got 3 of 9 renders done ... 😭 they're supposed to be relatively simple, but god, just the first three have taken me over 4 hours,,, heres to hoping i can manifest the energy to finish at least another three tmmrw aksdjskjd 🥂🥂
#in my defense all my ideas so far have made me itch my brain and have to do some stupid fandangling dlslkdlaksd#< mainly cuz i have ideas that are way out of my blender capabilities 🧍♂️🧍♂️#anywhoo... time to sleep cuz i dont wanna mess up my sleep schedule anymore than i already have <333#yapping
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#went down a wikipedia rabbithole tonight and learned some chilean history#specifically around project cybersyn#President Salvador Allende#and the 1973 Military coup#and uh#fucking tragic#i think ive existed in a strange(? maybe its actually relatively common idrk) position as an American leftist where like#the crimes of american imperialism feel so innumerable to where at a certain point you stop learning about them on purpose#so like for years ive 'known' that what the USG has done to South America was awful#i 'learned' about honduras and so I just applied that as a template and went 'yeah some awful shit happened and its the CIAs fault'#but uh getting a bit more detailed knowledge about what our government did in chile has made me realize how callous that was#i dont know that ive nessecarily earned my previous attitude of 'cold detached and depressed' given#that not only did I not live through any of it but also that it was done in my benefit#god maybe this is some milquetoast shit#idk#I think being a leftist in the US is having to fight the passivating force of imperialism constantly#like lose sight of it for a second and it just fucking blends back in with the landscape#the internally defensive structure you build in your brain to protect yourself from complete emotional collapse while buying food#will equally be effective in ignoring the role of imperialism in everything else#anyway#I think this is perhaps a good opportunity to learn more about the other crimes the USG has committed in South America#to actually know the names and pronunciation of the deomcratically elected socialist leaders we deposed and what they really wanted to do#to know how their people felt and thought about things rather than imposing my own assumptions onto a reigon I am utterly ignorant of#it is embarrassing now to know the fullness of history I have ignored#Salvador Allendes words really fucking got to me and to think that there are men like him who I cannot even name is really disappointing#im going to stop self flaggellating and see about that reading#just my thoughts#feeling a little blue tonight
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that discord desktop app shows u when someone who ur not even talking to at the moment is typing should be considered an UNaccessibility feature. imho.
#some shit#no thats fine. im not neurotic. why is that even information u have to share with me.#terrifying#sorry for being so app brained. in my defense. i dont update any of the apps.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
(guy who just found out you can colour using the lasso tool) so hows everybody doing tonight
#people are going to laugh at me for this. i dont even have any defense for it really#maybe that almost every procreate tutorial ive tried to watch has had me tune out immediately bcus it was boring . my bad man#i have ipad baby brain (adhd).... im sorry....#personal.txt
4 notes
·
View notes