#aziraphale defense squad takes

[thekats]

1:38AM thoughts (on Aziraphale bc he has taken over my body help he's making me write things in his defense, well except this part, obviously, I am doing a joke, haha):

"We can be together!" and "I need you!" followed by "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." is so fucking tragic to me? It's like he's saying 'I love you, I want to be with you' reeeaaally really clearly (though some people would rather just ignore it and are all 'oh, Aziraphale's only talking about jobs and promotions'). He is offering Corwley a way they can be with each other for realsies, no take-backsies without fear or interference, with earth and humanity protected (which Crowley was previously the main advocate for, remember) and Crowley hits him with "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

Wanna know what I'd have thought in Azi's place at that? I'll tell you anyway: whoa, fuck, I completely misinterpreted everything Crowley's been throwing my way for... a long time! He doesn't want to be together together, he just likes to be really good friends and wants to keep that up, he's so lonely on earth, being a good demon that he expresses his platonic love in a way reminiscent of pining love-interests- heck, maybe I'm so lonely down here that I misread common best-buddies-stuff as romantic interest! This is bad. He understands what I want to do here and he doesn't want that. He wants to be 'us' as we have been for millennia. I... don't know if I want that... I don't want to hide this shit, but if he doesn't reciprocate, then I'd make him uncomfortable and things wouldn't work out anyways. Guess I might as well save us both the pain of one-sided love and a friendship that can never be the same again and go. Now I'm angry. This isn't at all how it was supposed to be. I need distance now. From him, our relationship and my emotions bc this hurts. Ouchie. Rude.

And then Crowley mentions the nightingale and hits him with that angry, tragic as fuck kiss? The (potentially perceived) mockery! Crowley is mocking Azi's feelings for him. 'Is that what you want, angel? This? Silly birds proverbially singing about our love? Kissing? That's what you want for us?'Yes, it is, damn you a second time!

[thekats]

The whole Crowley-trying-to-convince-Aziraphale section is such a show of moral conflict in Az! He wants to save earth and humanity, he thinks it's good to do so, but good doesn't always mean "right" in the eyes of the "law". He is like the one non-discriminating cop in a precinct, only the stakes are higher than "I took this job and I don't want to lose it". It's obvious that he doesn't want the consequences of the apocalypse, but he doesn't see a way to prevent it without dire consequences for them. Part of him knows the system is fucked, but it's the only system they have and so he has to believe in it's rightness.

He even tries to prove that the system is right and can work by keeping Crowley at arm's length and giving heaven what they need to stop the apocalypse, to show that they care and that "right" is good.

When the Metatron makes clear that they don't care and that their right and good do not align with this. That's when he goes rogue. This is when he stops caring about the rules of heaven and possesses someone to try and actively intervene.

This doesn't mean he is free, sure. There can still be consequences and he's terrified of them. But for the moment, following his moral code becomes more important than his personal fate.

Why do I even bother logging on to this hellsite

...y'all, he literally agrees the MOMENT he hears a viable plan for stopping it that won't get either of them into trouble

[dee-morris]

Definitions

Sometimes "I'm taking the Final Fifteen at face value" means "I'm setting aside all speculation about what might have happened where we couldn't see and carefully studying the characters' words and behavior for context clues instead" and sometimes it means "I'm taking the entire scene out of the context of season two and assuming that everything Aziraphale says and does in this specific situation is the only indicator of how he really feels about heaven and Crowley."

This distinction is the difference between "I'll ride into battle at your side my friend" and "I need to block you so bad I can taste it."

[ankles-be-bitten]

i may have fallen victim to the curse of the Bad Aziraphale Take with this post, so i'd like to right my wrongs:

i still agree with this, however i would like to add some insight: the metatron is definitely orchestrating their falling out. he knows exactly what he's doing & he knows that he can't control aziraphale as long as he has crowley on their side--that's emotional abuse 101. the victim is isolated from their real support systems, and the only place they have left to turn is their abuser. i believe that aziraphale knows what he's doing, and that he's just going along with heaven as far as he can in order to protect his demon, but from the metatron's perspective things have to look like they're going according to plan.

i think... maybe this is only half true? not sure what i was thinking when i wrote this; it was late. whatever.

crowley is an optimist, but he clearly had his doubts about how aziraphale would respond, which is indeed based in reality. aziraphale doesn't have a great track record as far as assuming the best of him in the moment (which, i must add, isn't his fault. it is one of his flaws, however). i think the important thing is that he trusts aziraphale to do the right thing in the end.

i still agree with this. however, i want to acknowledge that i felt this was unfair at the time, but in retrospect i was ignoring aziraphale's dependency on external validation that crowley does not have. crowley is far more independent than aziraphale, and i acknowledged this, but i framed it originally as "crowley has an unfulfilled need," rather than what i now think it really is, which is that AZI has an unfulfilled need.

yeah, there it is. different people, different needs.

as far as it being strange that aziraphale didn't pick up on what crowley needed in that moment right away, i do still feel that way--sort of. i honestly at this point just want to pin it down to him being excited.

whatever you have to say can wait--we have all of eternity to say whatever we want, in complete security. we won't have to hide. we can be together. and he wants so badly to be together. that's literally all he wants. he wasn't even a little interested in returning to heaven until the metatron told him that crowley could tag along. this is manipulation 101, people! the metatron knows, or at least can intuit, that crowley wouldn't want to become an angel again. he knows exactly what he's doing to them. this is not a good faith offer.

most of the rest of that post is me rambling about my interpretation of aziraphale's actions and the reasoning behind them. feel free to read the full take if you'd like, but i don't believe it's necessary to break down the whole thing. it mostly boils down to aziraphale needs to see people as people before he can respond properly to their needs. i may or may not still agree with that, i'm on the fence, but if that is the case, it's 100% because heaven has conditioned him to be that way. you need to earn salvation, you need to earn love, you need to earn humanity.

i originally used job as a counter example, but he may actually be a paragon of this interpretation. if anyone deserves salvation, it was job--righteous job, level-headed job, job who lost everything but never, ever lost faith in the Almighty. if anyone has earned aziraphale's sympathy, it's him.

this is just a wonky take. he does care, or else he wouldn't be making the offer. interrupting crowley might have been selfish in the short-term, but to aziraphale, the long-term result is eternity together unhindered. they will have all the time in the world to be an us if they can only get out from under the watchful, dangerous, probing eye of heaven.

i think i was getting close to the point here, but i was still framing it from the perspective that aziraphale had woefully wronged crowley, and that he's not also a victim of the system here. i was in far less certain terms falling into the "aziraphale is naive" trap, when in reality he just wanted to be safe. as archangel, he can do as he pleases without fear of retribution. he has never, ever felt safe before--not safe to ask questions, not safe to be seen with crowley, not safe to run off to alpha centauri with him. blaming him for prioritizing crowley's safety is more than a little silly.

this is just... the ick. it feels like a whole other person wrote this. i am trying so hard to give myself grace for this absolutely rot-gut take.

yikes. yikes yikes yikes. i'm not sure anymore if crowley has ever expressed a pointed distaste for being an angel again; that may just be misguided on my part. somehow i'm victim-blaming both of them here, while also completely misrepresenting aziraphale's intentions. i'm falling into the "he doesn't love crowley enough/the way he deserves" trap, painting him once again as naive, blind, and selfish. oopsie daisy.

i still believe the kiss was an offer akin to the ox rib, extremely alcoholic breakfasts, what have you. it's possible crowley doesn't feel seen--i might even go so far as to say that that's likely--but not in the way i stated originally. he's heartbroken. he's devastated. he might even feel betrayed. but just because he feels that way doesn't make it the truth, and i think a mistake i've made throughout this particular text is mistaking how aziraphale's actions look from the outside for his actual intentions.

i think this was mostly right up until the part about azi being selfish. he's far from selfish, he's not even close to naive. assuming he made a mistake in the f15 at all, he absolutely knows it now. he will do anything it takes to be with crowley.

at the time of this addendum i think he's made a Plan™ and is trying to convince himself he's made the right choice. all will make sense in the end. or maybe it won't. we'll figure it out--some things take time, and we don't have all the information.

i do believe that about covers it. in summary, they are both victims and treating either of them like they're naive or stupid for making the choices they did is unfair because they're both doing the best they can with the information they have available to them. it's heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and really, really unfortunate. but it's neither of their fault. it's literally all the metatron. if heaven and hell were out of the picture, crowley would've been free to confess and aziraphale free to reciprocate--but that's just not their reality. everything aziraphale does is in order to keep crowley safe, in the interest of us long-term. crowley knows he has a hard time expressing himself, and so he wants to get it out fast, and that's valid; aziraphale having reservations due to safety concerns is just as valid.

it's neither of their fault.

[tenok]

Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of��book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

[ineffableigh]

im gonna mcfuckin lose it rofl /blocked

@badaziraphaletakes

[extraaa-30]

@badaziraphaletakes

#badassaziraphaletake ?

Neil Gaiman on why he cast Michael Sheen as Aziraphale:

"Michael had said he wanted to be in it from the very start. Around 2014ish. We both assumed he'd be Crowley. Except as I wrote it, I kept thinking of the Michael I know: an incredibly sweet, sensitive, funny man determined to do good and to do the right thing, and I kept thinking of him as my Aziraphale."

My Aziraphale.

[thekats]

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say, but since I can't really read people's expression well (thanks for that, autism) I have a different approach. You see, I like acting myself, yes, in part because it's a type of controlled masking and learning how to human in a socially acceptable way, so I analyse (fictional) characters' emotions etc by imitating facial expressions and seeing what that triggers in me. Kind of like associations, but mindsets, intents and emotions.

That's what I keep doing with Aziraphale specifically since he is who people keep criticising (bc Crowley obviously is perfect and doesn't make mistakes /s) and evidently not understanding him at all but I don't want to get upset about this again.

This is how I knew he wasn't disgusted (????) by the kiss and I've got an idea about how he feels in the lift to heaven at the end of s02.

The best one-word answer i can boil it down to is: defiance. He's going against all odds, against expectations and perhaps even his own better judgement/instinct. Like, he knows what he wants to do is risky and potentially dangerous, but he has to do it for the world, himself and Crowley, perhaps even a little in spite of him. He can do this. Yes, he paints himself as a damsel in distress a lot. Yes, he like the comforts and pleasures of earth and humanity. But don't you go underestimating him.

Part of me thinks he thinks the Metatron thinks (there's so much thinking involved here wow we're thoughtful) he's an easy puppet. Naive, innocent, believes in the unwavering and undebatable goodness of heaven. A toy soldier he can command and make do what he needs done. And in a way Aziraphale is all that. But he also isn't stupid. He's witnessed heaven's stance on ineffable plans during Nopeageddon, had his heart broken and his faith in God's institution shaken. He knows The Second Coming can't mean good news for earth, especially since Crowley's voiced his suspicion "all of us against all of them".

Aziraphale is being brave, resuming his position as a fighter, a guardian, only the Eastern Gate has expanded to mean the whole world and Crowley, maybe even Hell because balance is necessary for shades of grey and their lives hold value, too, after all.

He's on a mission and by God (no pun intended) he plans to accomplish it. There's no South Downs without earth or, indeed, without Crowley.

[fellthemarvelous]

Why do people try to say that Aziraphale always tries to make Crowley do things?

Crowley is literally the serpent who gave Eve the knowledge of free will yet Aziraphale is the only one who is able to control anything Crowley does. Not even God, Satan, the Dukes of Hell, the Metatron, literally any other demon or angel Crowley has ever met has been able to make Crowley do what they want, yet Aziraphale somehow makes Crowley so weak that he never does what he wants because Aziraphale makes him do it with the power of his mind or something I guess. Maybe that's why he's too busy to think of Crowley's feelings 24/7, which is apparently also something else he should be doing. But he's also so brainwashed by Heaven that he only really ever loved Crowley when Crowley was an angel even though he put together a Jane Austen Ball for the demon in order to confess his feelings.

Aziraphale couldn't even prevent Crowley from asking questions despite his warning and concern and Crowley fell, but yeah Aziraphale is just so abusive and controlling and power-hungry.

Look at that demon-hating monster!!!!

[dee-morris]

I'm So Tired

I'm going to start reblogging Aziraphale gifs and images and pointing out every single detail of autistic coded behavior, no matter how small. Every hand flap, every stim, every mention of his special interests, every instance of masking around authority figures, y'all are going to hear about it.

Maybe if I do this enough some of these people using words like stupid, idiot, unfeeling, and selfish to describe him will reconsider their language.

[extraaa-30]

@badaziraphaletakes

#badassaziraphaletake ?

aziraphale thinking that the tree being so easily within reach was a good point. aziraphale being uncomfortable with the killing of children at the flood, but can't speak out because he heard that god herself ordered it. aziraphale scared shitless but accepting on the rock that he had fallen. aziraphale feeling that his hands were tied at the crucifixion, and had to accept the party line. aziraphale seeing merit in the arrangement. aziraphale not wanting a promotion because it would mean returning to heaven. aziraphale learning that being good is often impossible when circumstances necessitate bad deeds in order to survive. aziraphale not trusting heaven with adam's whereabouts. aziraphale throwing himself into stopping the apocalypse when heaven proves their agenda is not good at all. aziraphale refusing a direct order to fight. aziraphale deceiving heaven because a renegade and amnesiac archangel needs his protection. aziraphale citing going back to heaven as an opportunity to "make a difference". in this house we know aziraphale has problems but being completely and wholly loyal to heaven since day dot is not one of them im afraid

[adverbian]

If anybody is having Aziraphale Defense Squad feelings, may I humbly offer my fic Confiteor? (Rated Mature; 3000 words)

In this one, Aziraphale’s own guilt complex has all the Bad Aziraphale Takes, and Crowley is single-handedly the entire Aziraphale Defense Squad. (It gets angsty for a while, but I promise there is a happy ending.)

Excerpt:

This place is full of ghosts.

Time is just another dimension, they say. We trail our pasts behind us, a series of still frames. Trapped in amber. Turned to stone. Every lonely night you walked this floor. Every time you sat in this chair and wept alone. Every time you broke his heart. If you could look back over your shoulder, back along the arrow of time, you'd see them.

Since the night they’d won, the night they’d come home again, the night they’d fallen into each other’s arms for the first time — these last months had been so wonderful. Aziraphale had believed they could be happy, now that they were free.

He should have known. It had been too long. It had been too much. It was too late, after all. He’d done too much damage.

Crowley would always keep coming back. No matter how many times Aziraphale hurt him. And Aziraphale always had hurt him. He always would hurt him. It was what he was.

He knew what he had to do.

Read more on AO3

[gardeninthevoid]

i think the time is right to post this incredibly funny and correct take @wixi2000 had on the aziraphale defense squad after i rambled to them about it

[tenok]

I see a lot of people adopt "I'm better than you because I doesen't care so much" attitude about Aziraphale's defense squad (tm) and like. People does actually aware that there's no squad, right? That it's just a phrase that was used ironicly so much that it ended as tag which is both a joke and a nice way to filter some information, like, to easily see if someone already bitched about bad take of the day?

[dee-morris]

How can you say you ship a couple when you actively wish emotional harm on one of them? Guys (gn) he's not having a good time up there. He didn't leave Crowley to go to fucking Disney. As soon as I'm done being exhausted from work I'm going to go fuckin mental on this take.

I just read an Aziraphale take that said he needs to suffer for what he said in the final 15...

[thekats]

Hello, do you have a moment to talk about Michael Sheen's acting? No? Perfect!

Look at this legally acquired still of Aziraphale just after Crowley left the bookshop post Kiss:

He looks like a child who asked you for chocolate after he's been a really good boy all day and you just said "no."

SIR, YOU ARE OVER 50 YEARS OLD! Maybe he needs to be reminded from time to time so he stops pulling these faces that absolutely kill my insides.

After having witnessed how many people were surprised by the "'Do It Again' Revelation"(TM), I wish I'd come and dumped all my thoughts on tumblr right after watching because, as an autistic person, I don't understand how you all are (rightfully) praising Michael's acting and then read his expression after the kiss as disgust? LOOK AT THIS BEBÉ HE WANTS HIS SCHOKIIII! The good kind, dark, bitter, rich, leaves a slightly weird taste and feel in the mouth.

He is so happy/unhappy because he wants that but he was saving it for when he could savour it because he is an old-fashioned romantic type and now it's spoilt. But also he can't help being happy he got it because it is affirming, it is a promise and reassurance. But also he can't have more of it now because he has to try and fix stupid heaven and the whole damn system so they can be safe once and for all. But also if he succeeds he can have more of that because Crowley is willing to give him his chocolate (I am just now remembering the planned scene of Crowley bringing Aziraphale chocolates to celebrate his bookshop opening oh Martel)! But also Aziraphale has to go to heaven alone because Crowley really doesn't want to be back there. But also Aziraphale could really use some help there, some mental and emotional support, someone who keeps bending over backwards to make things work for him.

HE WANTS HIS SCHOKI!