#in a year or so... if I still haven't finished the fic by then (<- very likely)
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get to know your moots
ty for the tags loves <3 @probablyreadinsmut @itwasntimethatdidit40 @ace-turned-confused @thundermartini @kedsandtubesocks and @reddedmiller
what's the origin of your blog title?: me being an uncreative basic bitch. but it's fine we are suffering through the consequences of the most uncreative username of all time.
OTP(s) + shipname: me, joel miller AND javier pena <3
favorite color: black and mint green (yes ik its very specific idk really what to say I even have a tattoo that is partially this color lol)
favorite game: rdr2, dreamlight valley, tlou, bg3, mariooooo, zelda, assasins creed
song stuck in your head: hold the line - toto and whatever is on my fic playlist
weirdest habit/trait?: probably a lot but the most annoying as a lot of us have mentioned is assuming no one really likes me. but also doing that thing where you start a task and then see something else that has to be done so by the time you have finished you've begun 50 other tasks
hobbies: video games, reading, writing stories, poems and music, pretending I can bake cute aesthetic things I find on Instagram reels, calligraphy, collecting sea glass and sea shells.
if you work, what's your profession? i worked on a cow farm
if you could have any job you wish what would it be? a sugar baby, someone who lives on a beach, but really anything in music bts or in front or a psychologist but instead I went to school two times for things I did not end up staying with haaaaaa
something you're good at: giving you compliments until you tell me to stfu
something you're bad at: i like this answer so same -> putting myself first, also as it's been said a few times socializing, and flirting
something you love: documentaries ommmg jdkfdakjf <3 <3, downtime when I can have it, also I always forget how much I love the sun until this time of year, hearing a favorite song you haven't heard in a long time, watching stuff with people whether its movies or youtube videos or shows
something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: video games, music, joel miller, the octopus lifecycle, Shakespeare, fun bts facts of my favorite movies and tv shows (I could spend days upon days looking up facts about how movies and shows are made and the little details in each of my favorite movies and shows)
something you hate: when its too hot or too cold, when I do that thing and don't buy snacks to be "healthy" and then wish I had a snack and math.
something you collect: i was collecting miniatures until they all got lost in a move, sea shells, coca cola memrobilia, Marilyn Monroe memorabilia, coral, anything vintage, trauma, and wips
something you forget: what don't I forget
what's your love language?: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch
favorite movie/show: beauty and the beast, most keanu reeves movies as I've been binging them lately, lotr, how to lose a guy in 10 days, donnie darko,
favorite food: potatoes any day, any way, any form
favorite animal: cows, platypus', whales and dolphins
what were you like as a child? the quiet kid who was basically a mute because anxiety sucks and being perceived is frightening - lemme just fade into the floor
favorite subject at school? psychology, english because we could read Shakespeare and really cool books, science, music class, history, french, home ec, woodshop
least favorite subject? math and phys ed cause ya girl ain't a runner but yet they're all like "ohh its not that hard" but bro you're not even doing it
what's your best character trait? why are these questions so hard though? like idk my ability to make people feel comfortable?? i feel weird answering this lol
what's your worst character trait? i guess my inability to put myself first still and my dad jokes and sometimes I get quiet because I have a huge fear of rejection or abandonment
if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? that I was on vacation instead of driving around for hours today or sleeping more that'd be great
if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Beethoven, Shakespeare, my grandparents, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Frida Kahlo, idkkkk
recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): there's so many this is rude asking for one so I'll give you two series. recently I read late night texts by @jolapeno and the wolf you feed by @arcanefox207 these series changed my brain chemistry for the best. I could scream on every rooftop in the world about these to every person in the world like please READ THEM!!!
npt: @arcanefox207 @gothcsz @syd-djarin @sunshinehaze1 @sunshineispunk @milla-frenchy @aurorawritestoescape @604to647 @myownwholewildworld @evolnoomym @slimybeth69 @almostfoxglove @lotusbxtch @baronessvonglitter me smooching you all through the phone <3 <3 <3 cause you all deserve every ounce of love and joy in the whole world
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Writer Interview Game
thank you for the tag @houndsinhades! 💛
how many works do you have on ao3? 11.
what's your total ao3 word count? 185K.
your top 5 stories by kudos? all drarry unless noted:
Crush (E, 8K)
Gemini in Retrograde (T, 38K)
Our Objective Remains Unchanged (E, 46K)
The Roommates (E, 3K, Drarry + Sirius/Draco)
Löyly (E, 10K)
do you respond to comments? yes!
what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Flesh Memory (Harry/Teddy, E, 11K).
what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I think The Pain From an Old Wound (T, 30K) probably has the most romantic ending? Highly subjective. I mostly write happy endings.
do you write crossovers? I have a not-yet-abandoned wip from last year that is kind of a crossover...
have you ever received hate on a fic? My fic Permanent tends to get the strongest reactions, idk if I would call it 'hate.' I am happy with how I characterized both Harry and Draco in that fic, but some commenters end the fic very angry with Harry.
do you write smut? often and with great joy.
have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of.
have you ever had a fic translated? @delphise translated Crush into Russian! 💛 translation is incredible.
have you ever co-written a fic before? @wolfpants (you're tagged wolf) and I are working on it! (and we have been DOING our homework this week okay)
what's your all-time favorite ship? i mean.
what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? oh :( I am so committed to my WIPs, I really intend to finish them all. De-aged Draco! Slutty Sirius! I WILL write you!
I originally had a very different concept for my Erised that I wrote a decent amount of before shifting focus. It was a quasi-8th year fic where Draco and Harry intern at Gringotts together. A lot of the original bones of the fic made it into the final version. I don't know if there's enough originality left in v1 to be interesting enough for me to finish, but I also feel a bit wasteful leaving ~20K of fic on the cutting room floor. Plus -- Marcus Flint was a presence in v1 and I really enjoyed him.
what are your writing strengths? dialogue is the easiest for me to write.
what are your writing weaknesses? everything else. endings. actually describing what's happening instead of writing like it's a play.
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I enjoy it when a POV character doesn't understand the language (and thus, it's possible-to-likely the reader won't understand it either). However. I cringe sometimes thinking about the Finnish I put in Löyly without getting a native speaker to read it over. Any future non-English language I will have checked.
what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Wolfstar as the main ship! More Teddy, I am really interested in that character.
what's your favorite fic you've ever written? even though i'd change some things about it writing it now vs 2 years ago.... still my eldest child OORU 🚣
ok tagging @hephaestiions @sweet-s0rr0w @tackytigerfic @desertforestfic @garagepaperback @getawayfox @sorrybutblog and anyone else who sees!
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How does the great Sandpiper successfully smuggle 130 children out of the Nilfgaard-occupied territory of Hamm? With the power of a forgotten story, a traditional song, and a masterful lie.
A piece for my upcoming fic, The Piper of Hamm, based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin, next in my fairy tale series.
#FINALLY finished this wip from literally TWO YEARS ago and it only took an HOUR to add the background and stuff#my art#my witcher art#witcher#the witcher#jaskier#The Piper of Hamm fic#I'm basically writing all these fics in order on a sticky note#you can see why I haven't gotten around the the Howl's Moving Castle or Stardust AUs yet because of this#TWO YEARS I had this idea#and it is only now being written#my life is pain lmao#but I've never been invested in a fandom this long so I think I've finally found my forever fandom#and the need to write these aus is still strong#so we'll see them one day
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orv dump 5(?)
#do NOTTT look closely at the last one absolutely hate the rendering and how yjh turned out there#so sorry to her she's just here to fill out the space cjwhqkdkd I'll edit this img and change it when I get to render it better...#but for now... The version I don't like HELP#rizdoodads#orviz#orv#Commentary time#first img oooh sorry it's taking so long rizashdaff nation HELP#I've finally rendered Han sooyoung in there after 1 billion years. Still haven't rendered the sword... Baby steps kuno! Jhwke#2nd img ARGGHH I think I'll redraw some parts of it but overall... I'm iffy on it KWHEKF we'll see if this survives as it is!#3rd img. Redraw of my previous uriel. Thought abt fake clip-on bangs and honestly I thought it'd be cute! And it was#4th img oooh this was for yhk week freeday but my stupid ass made it like this one long img and it was midterms week#<- could not finish but the idea is yhk domestic marriage life#5th img based off of that beautifully written transfem yjh fic emmm IN REDRAWING THIS I PROMMYYY I DONT LIKE IT PLEASSEEE DONT LOOK AT IT#Anyway that's all 👍
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it's been a year today since I posted the first chapter of a little more like hell and I thought it'd be fun to make something like a cover image for it
#I had intended to put the title into the image somehow#but the composition turned out very different from what I initially envisioned and I wasn't sure how to work it in so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I'm also not satisfied with the lack of a sense of distance in the composition so maybe I'll revisit it someday#in a year or so... if I still haven't finished the fic by then (<- very likely)#mairimashita! iruma kun#own artwork
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IT'S KAWOSHIN DAY!!! As well as the last day of Kawoshin Week :') It's been such a blast, gonna miss it when it's over
Kawoshin Week Day 7: Cuddling/domestic fluff! + Sleepover and Spinoffs (again)! Based on the Campus Apocalypse sleepover chapter ☺️
#shinji ikari#kaworu nagisa#kawoshin#neon genesis evangelion#campus apocalypse#nge#nge ca#toma draws#kawoshinweek2024#CAwoshin again! wanted to ensure my favorite niche kawoshin got some representation in the week in case no one else did stuff with them...#which wasn't the case since literally every fill for the spinoffs prompt has been campus apocalypse!!! which i'm overjoyed about 🥺#my second option for today was finishing a sonicverse kawoshin wip for the free day prompt. but i already included sonic in the week with-#the song lyrics i used for my day 5 piece so i went with this instead#also went with this because. um. my original plan for today was actually. a CA fic for these same prompts set after said sleepover chapter#but i'm neither fast nor confident at writing so i. haven't finished it (i DID get it to almost 1500 words so far though! progress)#so i thought i'd color something i drew while thinking about it :')#i did it while taking a break from my day 5 piece and was pretty loose about it so it's not super polished and i'm not sure how i feel abt-#the colors but! it hits the soft cozy vibe i was going for and that's good enough for me#if i manage to finish the fic within the year i might still include it as a very late week entry... no promises though. we'll see
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yes i did fanart of my own fic it's called self love (here is the fic)
Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
[ID: a digital, sketchy comic of sklonda and pok from fantasy high in four pictures. in the first, a beer glass is in the middle, and around it snippets of sklonda's thoughts. one is of her doing paperwork, another of her holding her head, another hectic one of a gun, her looking back and her terrified eye, and the last one of her face angry. in the second, sklonda is sitting at the bar and looking to the left as someone off screen says, is this seat free? on the other side of the bar are the bartender's legs and an ominous shadow extending from them. in the third, pok is leaning with one arm on the bar and looking flirtily; the hand on the bar is fidgeting, and the other is in his pocket. in panels next to it, sklonda looks him up and down with a neutral expression. in the fourth, pok smiles cutely and sklonda finally returns the smile, motioning to the barstool next to her and saying, as you can see. End ID]
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#sklonpok#sklonda gukgak#pok gukgak#fantasy high fic#d20 fantasy high#ok ok so. welcome to like ten drawings i made of the fic while it was still a wip#i'll post them in 'parts' so theyre all separate posts for clarity and ID shortness but im connecting them w links#since they're all for the same thing#i had so so much fun playing in the sandbox#and they're v loose comics bcs it's smt im having fun w that also helps me work out my comic brain#like think in panels to a degree even if theyre real loosey goosey#the fic is a version of their first meeting#this is all v hectic since i finished it at 2 am prior to a trip but then didn't have time to set everything else up#i still haven't tagged the fic fully (it's enough to not catch anyone off guard but there's stuff to add)#gggghhhh i love themmm
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Chapters: 7/8 Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker Characters: Dick Grayson, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Alfred Pennyworth, May Parker (Spider-Man), Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, Happy Hogan, Original Characters Additional Tags: Crossover, Peter Parker totally in awe of Nightwing, Parallel Universes, Ned Leeds being a good friend, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Dick Grayson Tries to Be a Good Older Sibling, both of them are going through stuff, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Family Dynamics, Funny, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary:
While fighting a powerful meta, Dick gets thrown into another universe. A new city. He meets Spiderman, the embattled protector of New York City, and decides to help fix the problem he brought into Spiderman's world. He's almost grateful to be away from Gotham at the moment.
Peter doesn't want to trust anyone after Mysterio, but he reluctantly agrees to work with Nightwing. They have a lot in common, and Peter is eager to learn from the more experienced vigilante. Slowly, they gain each other's trust and bond over the insanity that is the superhero existence.
#Still haven't figured out how to specifically link to the right new chapter but whatever#I don't like doing this so much anymore lol#But#For anyone interested (mostly me lol) the story is finished#barring epilogue#anyways#Shameless self promo#Crazy that this has taken a year to get through#peter parker#spider man far from home#my fic stuff#dick grayson#nightwing#marvel dc crossover
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Wip Word Search 🔍
rules: use this generator to generate three random words (or however many you'd like to do) and share the lines where they show up in your WIPs
my words: affect, great, opposed
1. affect from the mudslide fic ☔️
He watched as Eddie got up from the couch, carefully depositing Christopher’s legs from his lap before turning back to him and planting a soft kiss onto the top of his soft curls. He was getting too old for these kinds of affections when awake and — as much as he couldn’t wait to see Christopher become his own, independent person — Buck desperately wanted to halt time. It wasn’t a fair thing to think; Chris wasn’t exactly his kid to begin with and regardless of what Eddie’s will said would happen after his death, Buck's place in their lives wasn’t set in stone, so he savored every tiny moment he could. Somewhere along the last handful of years, Eddie and Christopher became Family, with a capital F. Buck loved Chris like he was his own and his feelings for Eddie were clear as day — only if not for the man himself. It was better that way, Buck reasoned. He probably wouldn’t let Buck hang around all the time, if he’d have known. Eddie probably didn’t think of them that way anyway. Buck ran his fingers through the curly hair tickling his cheek and pulled the kid’s small frame just a fraction closer, relishing in the moment of stillness.
2. great from the jealous eddie fic 🧇
“So uh t-tell me about yourself, you know, hobbies, pets, family, whatever.” “That’s pretty broad.” Jason chuckled and Buck felt his cheeks heat up immediately. Wow, he really hasn’t been on a proper date in such a long time that apparently he lost the ability to make conversation. Great. “Sorry I—” “Relax, Buck. It’s alright.” His shoulders sagged a little at that. “I guess cycling is a hobby, right? I’m not allowed pets at my place and uh… Two sisters, parents live in Nevada.” “Uh great, that- that’s great! I have a sister too, my parents live in Pennsylvania though.” Jason assessed his face for a long moment before he leaned back in his chair with a small sigh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem much more nervous than before. Is everything alright?” “Uh yeah— yeah, I’m fine, just…” Buck sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Eddie, my uh my partner at the 118, he’s been acting kinda weird about us going out. I just… I don’t know, I guess I got a little into my head about it.” A disapproving frown tugged at the patch of skin between Jason’s eyebrows for a moment, before it disappeared with a sigh. “So he’s one of those guys then.” Buck knew what he meant instantly; the type of guys who were just too macho not to feel threatened by even the mere mention of two men dating. Of course, it couldn’t have been further from the truth — and Buck was quick to make that clear. “N-no, not at all! He’s a good guy, great actually. He’s my best friend.”
3. opposed from the breeding kink fic 🛏️
“You might be right,” he breathed, leaning over Buck and slipping his hands under his thighs for more leverage, “maybe we should just stay here like this forever.” Eddie’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment when he bottomed out again. It wasn’t a plausible or in any way realistic idea, really, but Eddie found that he still wasn’t opposed to the fantasy of it. Especially not when Buck’s warmth enveloped him so perfectly, while he got to watch his chest rise and fall quicker and quicker, listen to his quiet whines and grunts as Eddie sped up his movements until he hit a steady rhythm and smell as fresh sweat broke through the lingering scent of their shared body wash; tea tree and mint. His hair was still damp from their shower and that was one thing they didn’t share; the shampoo — and god, Eddie was grateful that it never became something that he’d lose on the account of getting used to smelling it on himself, so now he could let the fruity and fresh scent of green apple, and something that uniquely belonged to Buck wash over his senses.
tags under the cut 💛
I was tagged by @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @fortheloveofbuddie and @wikiangela thank youuu 💛
✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @eddiebabygirldiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @ladydorian05
#this took longer than I expected lmao#also quite a bit more than just a line each but idc I miss my main wips 😭#these were literally my first 3 wips for this fandom and I still haven't posted any of them I—#though I am heavily aiming to finish the first draft for the breeding fic today/tomorrow#it's already at 4.6k so that 5k estimate is out the window but maybe 6k? 6.5k?#I am bargaining cuz it's just some silly smut and I don't wanna edit anything longer than that 😭#but I do want it to be my last fic of the year so 🫡#(though unfortunately my vertigo's back and I got too dizzy to pay attention for now but I'll be back at it later)#ALSO I need to write from buck's pov more cuz I wanna appreciate and cherish eddie through his eyes he way he deserves it!!#buddie#911#wip#the mudslide fic#the jealous eddie fic#the breeding fic
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officially 10K into this fic and having a realization about where I'm at on characterization so far, so i'm wondering:
#N posts stuff#i'm like. this first draft is really the writing equivalent of layout sketching: which characters are where / what's the scene About#with the expectation that the second draft will have the building blocks there to build up specific characterization further#but i'm realizing that i am in fact SO broad strokes on the characters so far that i'd need to do extensive studying#of the source material to really hammer in the characterization in a way that i would be satisfied with. a task that at this point#likely wouldn't be very fun. so i had a moment of 'oh idek if i'll be able to finish writing this fic :(' and got sad about it#which was where the 'oh. actually if i'm That loose on characterization right now I could just. shift the characters in#Whatever ways i want them to go and just make them OCs instead of fanfic...' which would actually be like. technically speaking#a Lot more fun bc this fic is so self-indulgent that i keep having moments where i'm pulling back on other elements i'd want to#incorporate into the fic bc 'if it's Too self-indulgent with numerous headcanons it won't be Good to fandom readers'#(ie the character who would Really vibe being a furry and the other begging to be a tgirl)#it Might wind up being something we do no matter what but i am still curious if there would be like. an actual audience for it#and not just something i'm doing all for myself lol; i used to make a LOT of ocs but haven't really done it in Years nd Years#i had a 'no way' moment but i Have had multiple people tell me they read my fics Regardless of whether they've seen source#material or not. so tentatively hopeful the answer is yes? but i'm curious :3
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Autocorrect stop changing "Quirrel" to "Squirrel" challenge: Impossible.
#hollow knight#quirrel#i am writing a fanfic. i haven't written in years#i have 24k words written rn#does anyone still follow me from when i wrote fnaf fanfic in like 2019??#if so hi. also sorry. this will be absolutely nothing like my fnaf fics#i am writing in ~3rd person~ now instead of cringe second person POV#also this is a vent fic so it's just gonna be sad asf most the time then it will be hurt/comfort and recovery so like.#not even gonna post it to tumblr#but if you know my ao3 account you know#im not against giving it out i just think 0 people will want to read this#it's not up to my normal quality but if i made it my normal quality it would double in size to fix pacing issues#i'm doing lots of telling and not showing/dialogue because it needs to move faster#and not be a 100k burn of hurt and pain then slow recovery#instead it will probably be around 30k when i'm done#plus i feel so sick dwelling on the first of my 3 acts i can't stand to edit it anymore it's making me depressed#i have a like normal HK fic i started forever ago that's mostly just angst but I would be actually proud to share it if i finish#had to write a fight scene. realized idk how to write a fight scene. got writer's block and abandoned it. rip#also i do have a fnaf fic i want to finish eventually but it's soooo old rn#but it's super silly and fun
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for the wip guessing game:
sure, done and/or trouble, please
sure
*looks around* anyone else going insane over gomens? everyone? yeah, okay.
Crowley was never sure how much of that feeling was emotional and how much was just the contact of an angel against the skin of a demon, but was amazed how quickly he’d regardless grown accustomed to it.
done
state of disrepair baby! technically i could have fulfilled all of these from state of disrepair but i decided to go for some variety instead
Steve is scrubbing a handful of tissues across the sticky clear fluid coating his abs, which all things considered is an image Danny could’ve done without, but he stops long enough to look up and joke, “Yeah, I talk you up when you’re not around, Danno. I’m only rude about you to your face.”
trouble
This is a SPN destiel fic that. I have not actively worked on for over a year but I still like it and the premise (Dean gets love-spelled and Cas is the first person he sees! oh no! whatever will the outcome of this be....) so I haven't given up hope of finishing it yet
“I was praying to you in my sleep?” “Not exactly. You just...” He frowned slightly, apparently having trouble verbalising it. “You wanted. Very loudly. It was distracting, so I came in, but you were asleep. And it eased when I got here, so I stayed.”
send me a word and i’ll tell you the sentence it appears in in my wips!
#technically i did have s&h ones for sure and trouble but no good ones#i've got two spn fics i started in the wake of nov 5 2020 and haven't worked on for like two years but. i still like both of them!#i hold out hope for my brain#on the one hand going back into a spn phase is something that should never be wished upon anyone#on the other hand i want to finish these fics y'know#this gomens one was also created a long time ago and had been sitting abandoned for two years#and is now being worked on again. so you never know#actingcamplibrarian#Hawaii Five 0#McDanno#state of disrepair#Good Omens#Ineffable Husbands#Supernatural#SPN#destiel#mine#my writing
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Art Heist, Baby! | @otrtbs
Art : theinvisiblemuseum
#marauders era#jegulus#starchaser#ahb#art heist baby#ao3#this fic oh this fic was so beautifuuly tragic#it's been like a year (?) since it finished and it still hurts the same as the day it ended#i was sobbing when the last few chps came out#i still haven't had the courage to re read#james fleamont potter#regulus black#sirius black#remus loves sirius#marlene mckinnon#dorcas meadowes#evan rosier#barty crouch jr
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Ok seriously, I promise to get to the requests I have soon, just gotta do a few things first but I promise to start drawing/writing them as soon as I get done with these.
#dragon talks#i took these requests for a reason and i can't help but feel a teensy but guilty for making people wait so long for them#especially the writing requests i took like#almost half a year ago now??? i think?#which I'm so sorry it's taking so long to do#brain was like: ooh i want to do these requests stuff#but then shortly after it gets distracted by other things and then it doesn't want to do them but also wants to do them and so on#but then i also have Flighteningverse Week coming up and i want to do all the prompts and that will get me wanting to take a break after#why do i always get these ideas and then have too many things to want to do at once??#cause then there's all the different aus i want to work on#and my fics that i want to write the next continuation to because some of them haven't been updated in over a year now#probably two years now if im honest#i swear they're not discontinued i just have very much things i want to work on#or just play games#and there's also my dragon adopts side blog i want to work on. and the song comic that i thought i would finish before the end of the year#and the Cross/Error shipkid#and that guardian of my aus and worlds that i think i still have to pick a name for#and dino!tale#and the fnaf au animatronic stuff#and more recently the kaijuverse au#so many things that i want to do#dragon rambles#<-#new tag for when i do the rambling in the tags#if you read all this then have a cookie 🍪
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#i made this for a fez fic I was writing I think last year? but I never finished it#looking back at it now it actually turned out so pretty#I still haven't processed what happened#angel angus#he was such a sweet person#angus cloud#fezco#euphoria
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At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer
#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol#like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head#i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here#it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche.#did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it#maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better.#something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time#feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind))#so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb.#my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense.#like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute.#i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems.#partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance#saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse -#- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect.#idk why i'm getting so angsty#i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i#i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so.#maybe i'll try to write something original#i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well#so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3#anyway peace and love
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