#in a time of incredible trauma
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noctis lucis caelum wants what garnet til alexandros has
#ffxv#ffix#garnet til alexandros#noctis lucis caelum#i just think her character arc is flawless and beautiful and contends with the difficulty of taking on a leadership position at a young age#in a time of incredible trauma#in a way that his arc really deserved to#but did not
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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Everything Everywhere All At Once became the movie of all time™ for me the minute they made Joy the antagonist. The minute Waymond said, “There was one jumper who stood out from the rest; but you pushed her too far. The pressure of it fractured her completely”, it was UP!
Joy was wreaking havoc across dimensions begging for her mother to see her. To see who she created. To force her to understand that the same potential that devastates Evelyn is the same one she inherited. To beg her to understand that if Evelyn couldn’t carry it, how could she?
A masterpiece. Sorry to the haters.
#sorry but Joy was so incredibly real.#I too would hunt my mother down in vengeance and then lose my nerve.#everything everywhere all at once#generational trauma: the movie™#movie of all time
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i need some of your parrot art very sad. like, make him very very sad, as sad as you can make it. horribly sad. depressingly tragic sadness.
oops. sorry, i think i traumatized your bird.
#why are you guys like this????#i keep getting reqs like this#my inbox is filled with crackships and angst why is this my life right now#anyway parrot's blank stare at the spyglass still gets me#every time i think back to it it just makes me physically feel the devastation he probably felt#and then the complete silence on his part when spoke revealed there was no secret#no words. he just stares at the spyglass that became a symbol of his and wifies friendship and the trust between them#that parrot ended up giving up on for nothing.#the realization of how attached he got and how used he's grown to wifies being with him#he probably feels incredibly lonely when wifies is not around now#considering how hesitant he always is to separate with him#you think it reminds him of the time wifies was chunkbanned? it's like a guilt thing#and then there's the trauma of seeing one of his friends actually die in front of him#that probably messed him up a little bit#parrot has a very obvious protector complex#okay im done yapping here#and i only went over what happened in canon and didnt start making shit up#i just love parrot a lot#and i love angst#parrotx2#☆ request .#☆ my art .
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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god i want. an au where it dosn't work. where it's just arr g'raha who's woken up, and he doesn't have all these memories and all these people keep looking at him like they're mourning someone. the world has changed and time has changed and all the people he knows have changed, but he hasn't changed, he was just sleeping, just sleeping, and the world nearly ended several times and apparently he helped prevent yet another end but he has no memory of this. they want him to join the scions. he does not know these people. (he barely knows the warrior of light, now, but did he ever truly know them in the first place?) his little sister is alive and well. she looks at him like a ghost. she's changed, and she's older than him now. he acts bratty and loud and brash to cover up the fact that he does not know anything it seems, and he is tired but he was sleeping for so long, so how could he be tired?
he doesn't know these people. they seem to know him. he wonders if he'd killed someone, when it was him and not that exarch who woke up. he wonders if it should have been him who was "killed" in that way, if it is him that lives and not that man who had known and become friends with all these figures from legend. he wonders if he'll always be fated to be a historian one step back from everything, because he simply cannot be a hero.
#bound with thread | original posts#letters in verse | talking#g'raha tia#crystal exarch#hello everyone i am being Incredibly Normal about g'raha tia at -checks time- 12:02 am#you ever think about the fact that arr g'raha is basically killed/replaced when the exarch wakes up in 5.3. because i do. a lot#hi i have brainworms over this man he's SO tragic and i need to hold him gently in my hands like how you cradle a small trembling kitten#genuinely happy about his character growth and progression and happy ending and all but arr g'raha was the one who grabbed my focus#and i do miss a lot of that character sometimes yknow? post-shb g'raha isn't the same person as arr g'raha and that's intentional‚ i think‚#because he has gone through so much that we didn't see. so much trauma and pain because of the 8th umbral era and that loss he got hit with#and he's not the same person because he's *had* to change so much to keep himself and his people alive and i'm glad he's getting to#experience life to the fullest in endwalker onwards but just. i miss arr g'raha yknow#honestly the silliest thing about it is i miss his student of baldesion tattoo. was a fun little design element you know.#show us the tattoo again squeenix. give him back his red eyeshadow that he had.#give him his bow back i am begging#this has been: incomprehensible ramblings from simon at 12 at night
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i know it's late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARREN GODBY
#warren godby#red valley podcast#red valley#Warren Godby the man that you are#Casually s*icidal middle aged/retirement age man who has 0 conflict resolution skills#a tendency towards violence#A love of retro games#And the diet of a toddler#Horrendously dysfunctional elder millennial with brain damage who is in love with his best friend#Popsicle man who'd rather not deal with it right now thank you#He can eat so much ice cream and never get a brain freeze#Captain shit#Somehow managed to land an incredibly intelligent and well adjusted wife oh wait nevermind#Is pretty sure tortoises will never love you back#Is he neurodivergent or is it just the trauma + brain damage#The most horrendously avoidant man of all time#Needs a lot more therapy than he ever ended up getting#Like if the frozen feeder eats you find in a pet store were also lab rats#Guinea pig of all time#Semi-willing recipient of evil science experimentation#Ok I think I'm done#I do love him
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After burning through probably 250k or more words of ISAT fics in the past few days I think I can give a little status report:
1. Very quickly discovered and fell in love with the niche of "Loop joins the family and is So Incredibly Normal And Well-Adjusted about it ((especially if it's Post-Canon TwoHats))"
2. Really love how basically every fic I've read has been amazing with attention to detail when it comes to the ((lack of)) colour and consistently using terms like "darkless hair"
3. Siffrin giving Loop the nickname "Starlight" as a counterpart to their "Stardust" is something I've seen a few times now and immediately added to my worldview, that's so fucking cute
4. I wanna put Sif and Loop in a box and shake them those two got SO much shit going on and I will read about it infinite times
#isat#isat spoilers#the siffrin/loop/party dynamic is so incredibly good#two massive time bombs of trauma each clinging to the lifeline that is the other while their friends do their level best to help them#something something I don't care if they fight or make out about it but they're those pets you can only get in pairs#do not separate them
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He started it!
Kanene's notes: I think my brain is no longer able to grasp what a 'quick, small fic' is kjhgfdfghjjhgvjhgf somebody this was supposed to be just a small drabble but the cuteness broke me. Somebody save me from the Dogday brain rot please somebody save me...
But anyway! Can't say when I will be able to post again, college just started and so my days are going to be very full :') Still! Hope you all like this!
Warnings: Plenty of raspberries, nibbles and teasy nicknames. Around 3,500 words. Ticklish!Dogday and Ler!Reader. Other than that, nothing, this is pure tooth-rooting fluff. Rip da boi. Also! Once again, I'm obsessed w Felix's writing style where the dialogues and narration are mingled together so all the hugs and thank you's to her :D
[~*~]
Dogday had started it.
Of course it was him. Just like a ray of sunshine, your own personal star, shining and chasing the dark shadows away, he did and now there was no other way this could’ve played out.
“A-angel, please!” His voice glitched, getting lower at the end of his plea, however immediately growing higher again as giggles began filling the space, crackling and buzzing in both despair and delight. “Think about what you’re about to do!”
You hummed and smiled at his squeal, fond and sweet and absolutely devilishly as you remembered how this entire game began.
Every single corner of this factory was dangerous. Even so, there were hostile places where any kind of sound, whisper or even a poorly suppressed gasp could attract the worst kind of attention and immediately break in pieces the fragile peace that warily followed you and Dogday in your path. At the time, you both had been walking through one of these areas for far too long, bathed by complete silence, careful to keep your steps silent and with an alerted kind of tension clinging to your form with each passing second.
That was when, for some reason, Dogday decided that enough was enough. It was his moment to shine.
Where even did the idea come from? Has he been bored?
“You just seemed so stressed!” His tail was wagging so much you could feel the wind it created hitting your legs. An involuntary coo left your mouth at the playful, a tad proud glint in his eyes, which only made his smile bigger and loopier. He tried to tug his hands away to hide his face. Needless to say, it was an unsuccessful attempt. “No, no, no! Don’t!”
Anyway, it had been confusing at first. When the giant sentient toy turned in your direction, making fingerguns with his paws and pretending to be firing at something, you immediately spun around in a quick and swift movement, grabpack and firing hand ready to attack pointing in the same direction as him, eyes searching for the danger he was gesturing.
… Stopping to think, he did almost laugh at you that moment, didn’t he? You bet that if you both didn’t have to conceal any and every sound his crackles would’ve rang free and joyfully across the whole factory.
You took an exaggerated deep breath and blew slowly in a faux disappointment, feeling his muscles under you tense and shake with barely concealed titters, a tiny protesting half whine and half plea flying around, his torso squirming.
(Away or closer to the sensations? Both of you knew the answer very well.)
Tsk. You hummed again, only to hear that adorable squeal once more. It took everything to not let him go and dig, to listen those high pitched squeals over and over again and see how many of them you could collect, letting them dance in harmony with his glitching laughter and rumbling chuckles until happiness and joy were the only thing filling his mind and actions, until his smile were wide enough to light up the dark pathway ahead and each tiny, almost imperceptive wiggle, scribble or twitch of your fingers was followed by the lovely, lovely melody of his tickly delight, prompting more and more expectant titters and pleas without you even having to lay a single finger on him.
But the game couldn’t be over so soon. And it was quite fun to see how much giggles you could get even though you weren’t actually doing anything.
(Yet.)
So you pushed down the adoring smile that tried (again) to take over your features and let it morph into a sad expression, slowly shaking your head in a fake disappointment.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Such a good friend and he almost laughed at you like that… After everything you both have been through, after all the fights and the talks, the hugs and the vents… You see how that is.
“P-please! Angel, just, please!”
No. Nuh-uh. You went back to your previous position, shoving your face in that soft fur. Don’t start with the sugarily sweet nicknames. You were brooding. Moping. Sad. Devastated. Betrayed. In absolute and total pain. There was no angel available right now, please return later.
His only answer was a series of even more glitched squeaks and titters growing stronger and giddier at any second with your silliness, especially when his body involuntarily jumped, already in alert for any attack and still not doing anything to scramble away.
That could be your fault, but in your humble opinion, it wasn’t very clear. Okay, maybe he couldn’t just bring himself to stop and stand still when you kept using every opportunity to nuzzle and mumble on his belly non stop, easily following his torso and quivering stomach around as he wiggled and squirmed in the same place, trying with all his might to not lose himself already with all the ticklish shocks that bolted across his entire midriff with such a simple action. Words (and teases) continue to fall like waves from your lips.
Maybe he just had been bitten by an awful ticklybug! Who would know?
“There is no tick-” Dogday gasped and snickered when you blew air against his fur again, freezing for a second in preparation for a raspberry that didn’t come. Realizing that, he let his head fall on the floor and trashed even more. He tugged his arms again, playfully growling when you kept your hold firm on them and wiggling even more as he turned to stare back at you, a funny kind of energy and antecipation racing each other in his nerves. “There is no ticklebug! It’s you!!”
Oh well.
A pity.
Anyway. Back to the story. That had been how everything began. He later explained his idea for the game, when you were able to exchange words again. From that moment, in total random occasions, one of you would make a gesture in the other’s direction and they would have to quickly react to it. In the most silly and unexpected way, preferentially, as long as you didn’t make any sound while at that.
See, Dogday? No sound.
He yapped in protest, letting out a single surprised, an offended yelp at the accusation. “We don’t need to be quiet here. You’re just teasing me!” Dogday’s hands fell to his sides, no longer trying to pry you away, shoulders shaking with every giggle and eyes watching your every action with joy and expectation.
You keep going.
The playful exchange became a habit between you two at this point, even filling the moments you didn’t exactly need to be quiet. It was a nice way to interact when there were no more words, memories or promises to be exchanged. That is why Dogday didn’t even bat an eye at you when you called his attention by innocently offering both of your hands in his direction, tail lightly wagging as he immediately placed his own paws on yours, a fun, tiny grin appearing on his previously serious and protective expression when you intertwined your fingers.
Which quickly morphed to a wide stare when you locked your grip and jumped on him, bringing both of you to the ground.
So, yeah, Dogday was the one who started it. And now he was trying to shoot his shot again, pulling out the saddest, sweetest puppy eyes in your direction.
“Angeel, please. Mercy!”
Awww.
(That was a bit adorable, you couldn’t lie. It kind of melted your heart. Just a tiny, little bit.)
(Ok. A lot.)
But that was the thing, Dogday, you were being merciful already. Because if your hands were free, you would give him the entire special attack. You would just claw and knead on that cute, truly adorable tummy, taking some precious time to give your attention to his sides and all the scribbles and scratches to his ribs, being sure to go and tickle aaaall of his favorite, ticklish spots over and over and over again, for as long as he wanted.
Wouldn’t that be nice? And, of course, during this your hands would be very, very busy, so he would have to keep his arms nice and snug out of the way. But he could do this for you, right? Even if he was laughing and squirming and crackling his heart out, not even pretending to not love every single moment of this game, or that he wanted it to be over any moment soon.
“Eek! Wait, wait!”
You grinned. See? That was what not being merciful would be. But, stopping to think, those are not bad ideas at all. He really couldn’t stop getting any more adorable, could he?
“Sweetheart!” He squeaked and shook his head, partially in a way to disperse all the restless energy taking over his body and partially in a hopeless attempt to make his big ears cover his flaming face.
Oh.
(It was quite endearing, actually, how he didn’t exactly blush. His smile would get wobblier and the light in his eyes fuzzy and lightly trembling all while he couldn’t decided if he tried to hide his face or kept staring at you with a gaze so full of complete trust, an excited desperation conquering all his features… Honestly it was just as crystal clear as if his face got completely taken over by a strong shade of red, truly.)
Your entire demeanor softened. That nickname was a new one.
(You wouldn’t mind listening to it being giggled out like this again in the future.)
You decided to return the favor.
Yes, gigglebug?
For a piece of time, Dogday froze with wide eyes and a slight ‘bzzz’ sound escaped from his voicebox. Then his squirming grew anew, no longer being able to look at your soft gaze and trying to press his dazzling, gigantic smile on his shoulders, now with his entire body bouncing with barely suppressed snickers.
His tail hit the floor with an endless and quick pace of ‘thump thumpthumpthump’. The confusion in your expression immediately gave place to a wicked smirk.
Hm.
Gigglebug?
He jolted with a yelp.
Silly giggly gigglebug?
Dogday snorts and tries to pry his hands away from yours with a bit more energy than before. Still, his efforts were still half heartedly at best. In turn you just hold them a bit tighter, thumbs lightly rubbing the back of his paws as your tipped your head to the side, - not unlike he himself watched you from time to time - chasing his gaze and maybe or maybe not giving his belly a tiny - so quick and small that it was over in less a blink - nibble until he turned back to watch you with wide fuzzy eyes.
Nope. No hiding that beautiful smile, huh?
His ears perked a little bit and his wide eyes captured yours for a moment, then jumped to your kind hands, your amused, playful glare, his defenseless belly, his captured paws, your suspecting eyes and, eventually, your eyes again.
Then, without breaking contant, he shut his mouth, firmly pressing his lips in a tight line as he lowered his head to his shoulder, successfully hiding, indeed, that beautiful smile.
Ah.
You see how that is.
Dogdayy ~
He let out a muffled giggle, only pressing his face even more on his shoulder, turning away from you.
Well, since he was insisting so much…
You discreetly adjusted your position, took a deep breath and immediately attacked his lower belly.
His entire torso spasmed, almost throwing you out of him with the sudden move, a loud peal of laughter instantly filling the air as the horrible, awfully ticklish vibrations fuelled his trashing, the raspberry spreading across every single of his nerves, leaving each and every one of them tingling and buzzing.
Another deep breath. Another long, long raspberry and a crackling squeal was ripped from his voicebox, more and more following suit as you chased every sensitive path of fur non stop, not losing a single opportunity to shake your head to increase the sensations, giggling a bit at how that never failed to glitch his words and bring more squeaks to the lovely melody of his laughter.
You spared a couple of tiny raspberries for his sides, literally feeling how they made him arch his back. That only gave you even more access to plenty of sensitive, ticklish spots that you were more than happy to latch on and tickle as if the future safety of the entire world depended on sending him to a total madness and increasing your collection of “cute-sounds-that-Dogday-does”.
You experimentally began nibbling that spot that connected his back and side, right below his belt, if you were not mistaken this would…
Snorts took over the giant toy and in a blink his back immediately clued back on the floor, torso trying and failing in curling into a defensive ball. The new round of raspberries vibrated across his side and teased his entire ribcage, tickling each bone and nerve.
Dogday tried to muffle his reactions on his shoulder, but with each nibble, each raspberry, tease and nuzzle he felt his mind getting more and more overpowered by the realization that it tickled. It tickled so, so, so much and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Not when his face seemed to be set aflame and his entire body kept getting closer and closer from giving up completely from his squirms and wiggles to let himself succumb to the joyful, insane, funny and fun sensation. Not when his angel kept looking at him with so much amusement and fondness that only succeeded to make him feel even more ticklish and the fact that his giggles weren’t the only ones filling the room made him feel extra silly and made his heart melt with delight. When he was able to just laugh and squeal his heart out, carefree and loud and happy.
How could anyone blame him, then, when he saw with the corner of his eyes you lift your head and so he decided to push his luck more, continuing to hide his big, gigantic, loopy smile.
Ohoho.
So, your dear gigglebug was trying to keep all those sweet reactions away from you, even after you worked so hard for every single one of them? Now, that really wasn’t fair, was it?
You gave him a break, no longer tickling him. Still, having your voice so close made his torso instinctively try to wiggle away, which in itself seemed to only re-alight all the reminiscent tingling on his skin, making the tickly sensation it go back to buzz and dance on his nerves, increasing the phantom tickles, each passing second and taunting word making them feel worse than before. All of this only kept Dogday stuck into an infinite sea of unstoppable, hysterical titters and snickers.
Do you think this is fair at all, gigglebug?
He shook his head and stopped, then nodded and then shook it again, giving you a glimpse of shiny eyes for a second before it disappeared once more on his fur.
Well, you think this isn’t fair at all. But that is fine. You both can stay here all day long if needed, as long it takes until you get to see that beautiful blushy face and dazzling smile. Yep. That sounds like a good, no, perfect idea! He would love this, right? To keep giggling and laughing and squealing here while being tickled silly forever and ever?
“Sweheheart!”
Oh! You wonder who said that! It sounded like your dear friend Dogday, but it couldn’t be him, right? No, not really. He was too busy hiding away from his best friend, as it seems.
Aw, that was a pity, truly. He was such a kind, awesome presence in your life. With a personality able to brighten everyone’s life and a trustful companion that was incredibly kind and strong. Always ready to help without a second thought or a blink of an eye, to give a hand, a comforting hug or a remark that would bring you straight to reality.
Besides, he was kind of cute, too. Like a sweet, excited puppy. He had this loud, booming laughter that, when you got him laughing for long enough, started to descend into a series of crackles that never failed to make him snort and bounce around in joy until his voice box began to glitch in the most endearing and funny way.
“No more teasing! No more!” Dogday’s titters grew to hysterical high pitched giggles and he scrunched up his neck, trying to best to curl up and disappear as more and more heat spread across his face. His tail would make a hole into the factory’s ground at this rate.
See? It was the most adorably adorable thing, honestly.
Actually…
You adjusted yourself again and his bubbly giggles developed to chuckles, paws tugging from your grip once again. He knew very well what that tune of yours meant.
You kind of missed listening to his laughter…
And so, with a swift move you freed your hands, fastly shoving them on Dogday’s armpits before he could even react.
Without wasting a single second, you digged.
A shriek took over every other sound in the place. And then other as you pushed your face right in the middle of his tummy, nibbling and pressing raspberries on it without mercy all while your fingers scratched, scribbled and drummed on his pits with no abandon, nimble fingers dancing on the spot for a few minutes before jumping to other one, to prevent him to get used to the sensation.
Dogday just fell limply on the floor, his shoulders, torso and belly shook with the force of his laughter, and his arms kept jumping from hiding his face to cluing on his sides in a futile attempt to stop the wiggling from worming their way, once more, to his ribs or neck. Each snort, squeal, yelp, snicker, crackle and every other sound swirled freely in the air, especially when a raspberry found a new sensitive spot that even he didn’t know about - since when his collarbone was so ticklish? - and focused all their attention there until all his cute and fun reactions slowed to a string of bubbly, hysterical giggles and his friend went on the look for another sweet tickle spot.
His neck, ribs, armpits, stomach, even his own ears had not been safe from the playful attack. A few pieces of time passed until it slowed to an incredible, horrible kind of soft tickling that led to a series of tittering sniggers to spill from his lips and to a beginning of tears to gather in the corner of his eyes.
At this point, his paws came and gently rested on your hands, engulfing them completely, glimmering eyes finding yours as the light scribbling instinctively squirm lazily from one side to other.
You stopped, entire form melting, the playful smirk plastered on your features losing the sharpness of its corners as a proud fondness took over. You freed one hand to caress the fur of his head, chuckling with drops of amusement and care when he closed his eyes and all his muscles relaxed completely at that, his tail now going back and forth in a tired but content wag. He nuzzled your hand.
There is it. My beautiful smile.
He groaned, pulling his ears until they covered his face. “Angel… You’re ruthless.”
Hey, it’s not teasing if it’s true!
Another groan. He muttered something under his breath but didn’t shy away from your touch.
The silence fell like a soft blanket on you, bringing to that dark, horrible place a feeling of safety and care that used to be just a pointless, futile dream, before.
(This was nice. Safe.)
Suddenly, two paws flew like a blur of movement in your direction and you felt your entire world tumble and turn upside down.
You blinked and as your eyes focused, only to find a giant sentient toy who resembled a dog and slowly became your trustful companionship on the last days (hours?) in this factory. Someone you knew that would be right by your side and fight for your safety almost as much as you fought for his.
Although, by the way his mischievous gaze found yours and big arms embraced you in a firm, but still gentle, hug, you must admit you weren’t feeling that safe anymore.
…Dogday?
“No. You’re in friend hug jail. Paying for your friend crimes. You can’t get out.”
You snorted. Glad that you had the sense to start that playful game in the safe area you and Dogday had been clearing and taking care for some time since the ‘You Got To Be a Human and Rest’ episode.
Getting comfortable, you let out a relaxed sigh, snuggling closer, letting your hand softly run on his back in a soft, nice rhythm, not taking too long to feel him melting under the caring touch.
Well, you may be in jail, but your consciousness was clear.
Dogday had started it.
#Ticklish!Dogday#Lee!Dogday#Ler!Reader#Ler!Player#poppy playtime tickles#poppy playtime tickling#Kanene's fic#Kanene's fanfic#DOGDAY IS A DEAR HE DESERVES TO LAUGH AND BE SILLY AND PLAYFUL AND HAPPY OK I COULDN'T HELP IT#I like to imagine that Dogday is all giggles and half pleas and protesting babbles and giddy snickers until he actually gets tickled#then he just let everything else go and start laughing non stop without a single care in the world#if i had a nickel everytime I had to be careful while describing raspberries and nibbles w a character that had trauma related to being-#well-#nibbled on but not in a tickly fun way. I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot. But it's weird that happened twice...#lkjhgfghjkolploijuh anyway!! hope you all have a nice week! take care <3#xreader#they are both incredibly silly you honor#I was writing another fic where reader and dogday find his own small smiling critter toy version and befriend it but this one will be super#-long and time is scarse so I decided to finish this playful idea here first and then try to write the other when I can#Let's see how that plays out :D
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anyone else having to go through fhjy at a snail's pace bc every time there's a teacher-student interaction (even the positive ones!) you want to set something on fire because of how much you hate high school and american academic culture and it throws you back to the Bad Old Days of actually being in high school, but also you really like fantasy high and you really like the characters and their story and the players and the way they're exploring & critiquing the US school system and basically everything about the show but actually watching it makes your brain explode?
#dimension 20#d20#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#original post#look every time porter comes on screen i lowkey have a rage blackout#my hyperempathetic ass needs to watch recaps or read the transcripts or something#its too goddamn much#bc fantasy high has never actually been about like. the academics#but now that it is and now that aguefort is functioning more as a prestigious private school than as a lawless wasteland#its actually bringing back memories of me being in high school. the bad ones.#so its like. it turns out that the thing i liked about fantasy high was that it wasn't actually high school as i remember it#look i think what they're doing this season is genius#brennan is the perfect person to tackle this kind of topic#and each character has a different struggle that is both unique and yet resonates with the real world#and academic trauma is incredibly underdiscussed and i love that d20 has the guts to address it#i just need to take 3-5 business days to process every like. hour of content#so. we'll see how long it takes me to finish it
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I think one of the most impressive things about Small Saga for me is how well it balances tone. Like, looking at the plot as a whole and the kind of subjects it deals with, it's not a lighthearted game. You're waging a bloody war of revenge on the world and you kill plenty of people in the process.
But it never feels like it goes too far. It shows a lot of care in which foes you kill vs. which ones you beat up and scare off. I kept worrying about it at the beginning, cause you fight a few enemies that are just, like. A human's pet. And I kept feeling like "oh no I really hope I don't kill them that'd make me so sad" but it never happened. And through the whole game, I never saw the results of a fight and went "aw man that sucks." The game doesn't always give characters the fate they most deserve. Sometimes good people die and bad people live. But it always makes sense and feels appropriate.
And it's also a game full of goofy jokes and silly characters. One of the villains is a fascist dictator squirrel who vapes. At one point you find mouse porn on a bookcase and the characters discuss who they're into. You rescue a pigeon from a trash can. And it's a game full of hope, too. It's a game about making things better and not just letting things that suck keep on sucking.
In the end it left me feeling really happy.
#I finished it last night and it's so good#they sure pack a lot of emotion and a lot of fucking cool worldbuilding into such a short experience#it was like 8 hours or so for me#all four of the main cast are now among my all time favorite characters#Verm is such a character made exactly for me it's not even funny#“I cope with trauma through incredible violence” is so many of the tabletop characters I've played haha#small saga#yes I'm going to draw fanart#maybe tomorrow if I can
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i really do think terra would be the final boss for therapists. yeah i know everyone in kh has low self esteem and scrambled memories and repressed ptsd and guilt etc etc don't get me wrong they all need serious help. but there's that and then there's getting your very being split into three parts remaining separate for over a decade. mere fragments of his being trying to hold onto themselves. he was torn apart mind body and soul. and this is BEFORE you factor in the problems he already had and the strong anger and grief etc etc. he walks into the therapist's office and they're completely baffled within the first five minutes of listening to him talk because literally what is he even saying? how do you even begin to dissect that
#it is genuinely incredible to me that he exists to this day as himself#xion is the other one where it's like wow i can't believe anyone found a way to bring you back#but such is the power of the heart!#terra it's like ok so yeah we gathered up all the pieces they were all right there close-ish to each other#but like i can't believe you could really just slap them back together and have it work out cleanly#there's no way he doesn't have severe and lasting mental damage from all that#:(#get that man some help. nomura please expand upon the lasting trauma everyone has#(i know he won't but like)#(it would be the perfect time for the other characters who aren't currently doing anything in the story)#kingdom hearts#terra#kh terra#kh#mine: kh
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Simon Petrikov has always been a GILF and before the crown took over his mind, I think we can all agree long white haired - not ice king yet Simon was kinda hot before the madness set in
Now that I have your attention - hear me out AT fandom- what if Ice Prince in Fionna’s dreams is what Simon/Ice King thought he was throughout the original Adventure Time series?
I always thought Ice King having extremely high self confidence was just a gag or joke before we learned about who Simon was- but there’s tons of instances where he declares he’s hot & doesn’t mind showing off his body in the original. And with the canon 12 yr time skip, we know now everything about Fionna & Cake’s AU and Ice King’s actions to form the AU was based off the madness of the crown playing into Simon’s wish fulfillment, trauma, & life; but also a form of escapism from his reality as a lonely man in a world he cannot relate too.
In the original & first appearance of the AU Ice Queen is H O T {and I’m not just saying that as a pansexual} she is leagues more attractive than how Ice King was and I would argue looks more like what I think Betty would look like if she wore the crown. She’s wish fulfillment but being heavily crown coded explains why she’s no longer Simon’s mind/Fionna’s dreams.
But Ice Prince? That is way more Simon coded than crown & also doesn’t match any of the male background characters we do see in episode 1. What if that’s not just Simon wishing he could be more like Ice King but instead what he actually thought he looked like the whole time the crown controlled him for all those centuries? That would explain why Ice King was so shameless but also partially explain why Simon mentions in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake that he both misses but hates what Ice King looked like.
Yes it’s a Tuxedo Mask reference & an obvious sign Simon still has some magic powers, but you cannot deny that if Simon wanted to dress as Ice King he’d probably go a more Ice Prince style to line up with how he currently dresses. If the AU remained the AU that was all originally knew, Ice Queen would’ve been some evil Sailor Scout or Queen Beryl coded character to Fionna Campbell; Ice Prince wouldn’t be a thing if it was just an alternate universe. And that tall glass of frosty water is definitely what Simon wished he looked like {honestly me too, Ice Prince is so gender}
EDIT: Btw in ep 2 of Fionna and Cake, Ice Queen is seen as the icecream vendor and she looks nothing like Simon but way more like a cross between the Gunther penguins and crown. And yes I know Fionna “dates” Ice King in the original au - my point still stands that it’s still what Simon wanted/thought he looked like with the crown on. Fionna Campbell would be into a very blue robes & wacky eyebrows Ice Prince and Ice Queen wouldn’t be just an icecream vendor who’s nice to kids if the crown had influence still
#mun post#simon petrikov#fionna campbell#fionna and cake spoilers#spoiler#spoilers#fionna and cake#adventure time#ice prince is going to live rent free in the unattainable white haired men I’d s#-mash list because daaaaaaaaaaamn#ice king#ice prince#Simon wanting to be a hot young man with long white hair is so relatable#also ice king getting naked and showing off his body has a whole new layer than just a gag#looking back on those Ice King self confident moments- it was incredibly messed up foreshadowing now that I think about it#as someone recovering muscle mass I feel Simon about being upset at what ice king actually looked like- homie lost 90% of his leg muscles#wait I just remembered- Gunther used to break ice king’s legs with a brick too like b r o he barely had bones for legs#Simon’s ideal being a perfect bishonen hottie with nice proportions#has layers of trauma in there I just know it
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|| Shackling Prison: Commentary ||
[The Xianzhou Interlude has given me a LOT of fodder and validation over Abundance crimes and I shall be elaborating on how this will shape Da-ji's abilities as a Foxian Emanator moving forward. But before that, some interesting parallels I noticed in the Shackling Prison with ancient chinese beliefs on 'Hell':
Disclaimer: It is important to note that interpretations can vary. Ie: Taoism influenced interpretations and Buddhism influenced interpretations can differ. Even buddhism itself comprises of different branches, belief systems etc. What I am touching on is primarily skewed towards buddhist concepts.
The Shackling Prison is similar to what we chinese refer to as 地狱 (translated literally to mean 'Underground/Earth' Prison). While it is commonly interpreted as 'Hell', it's concept is similar to Purgatory in christian beliefs. This realm is where the deceased go to repent for their crimes- ie: they get fucked up. The length of their torture/punishment and sentencing is based on the nature as well as severity of their sins. In some rare cases, these souls don't get out ever.
The souls who have been deemed to have 'earned' their penance will usually be permitted freedom to enter yet another cycle of reincarnation based on Buddhist concepts (ie: Naraka)
In chinese tradition (on the buddhism end), purgatory is divided into TEN courts. Each are overseen by a different judge/Yama-King. As established in the Shackling Prison, it is overseen by ten different judges too.
The exact amount of levels in Hell as well as deities associated with it varies between different interpretations (eg: legends of 18 levels, each differing in torture methods is popularily portrayed in mythology shows, there are some who think it's primarily 4, there are also variations where there are 12,800 hells in total etc).
Common depictions of "Hell" involve multiple chambers/levels, mazes, rivers, lava etc. These themes are also present in the map layout of the Shackling Prison in game.
Based on what Dan Feng and Hoolay were subjected to within the confines, it is also safe to say that the Shackling Prison also relies on torture (physical and mental) as a form of punishment for those who have committed unpardonable sins. Which is yet another reference to Hell/Purgatory and it's...numerous torture methods.]
#the voice: a#spoilers cw#[feel free to use this if you think its useful!]#[hi yes tis i the resident yapper]#religion cw#religious punishment cw#religious trauma tw#[also incredible timing bc im writing this after burning hell money for the ancestors fhbkhgb]
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Y'know I was sitting here this morning with the hot spring rambles on my brain, specifically thinking about if the hair washing is close enough to preening to make Grian's birb brain happy
And it just really hit me how unfair hhau world is to birb Grian in particular. Birb brain wants preening from Scar and to show off for him, but being noticed is what's most dangerous for them. T-T
-🎀
hhau world is cruel to birb grian. besides just turning his wings into big shining targets and a huge liability, grian can't have anything his instincts want and crave and yearn for.
preening (as much from himself as from scar—he can't get any version of it and it's driving something in him despondent and mad), idle touches to his feathers, using wings for nonverbal language, using them as a comforting warm blanket on cold nights, flying... the list goes on.
he's a grounded bird that sometimes contemplates if he wouldn't be better off without his wings. that's what this world's done to him.
and oh gosh the things he'd like to do now that him and scar are openly horribly in love? all the new instincts and cravings and urges? all of those things he equally has to stifle and bury deep down... all those things that he feels insane need for but an even bigger terror of them—an emotion that doesn't belong, should never have been put there, and yet it's so deeply rooted and entangled through him now, so much so that it feels insurmountable and irreversible...
it's honestly unfair and so very sad, yeah 😭
#ange answers#ribbon anon#hhau#grian angst#if you can't tell i have deep feelings about hhau grian#he's dealing with a LOT#he gets self destructive urges from it sometimes#and a constant unending dose of anxiety#wouldn't it be lovely if scar and grian got together under better circumstances?#pesky bird perching on scar and showing off his feathers and using them emotively#teaching scar how to preen him and then promptly melting under his touch#but no they can't have that#scar tells him a bunch of times during various points#that he'd be okay never touching grian's wings if that's what grian wants#but if grian wants the touch#even if it's terrifying and it's incredibly difficult with all these mental barriers and trauma and fears#then scar will always be open to trying whenever grian feels ready#without rush#baby steps#all that#because he wants to give him everything grian needs
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