#implied mental health issues

[geminai-ramblez]

CLAWS PURIFYING WIND AU

SUMMARY: Even, if he didn't remember being an active member of delinquency, Takemichi. . . surely has left a heavy impression on others on how they wanted to be. Whether they always came out winning, reassured, or even. . . just confident in themselves to just know that it didn't matter if there was a mirage of purples or blues on their skin, not even when they threw up blood, they just knew. . . he just knew. . . they'll come out on top.

CONTEXT: This is a continuation of PART ONE of CLAWS!Takemichi and how he either interacts or changes the plot of Tokyo Revengers by not following the CANON version of Hanagaki Takemichi. Oh, and how CLAWS!Takemichi sees the world through the lenses of someone reincarnated into a new world where. . . there were no more demons or demon slayers at the break of moonlight. Just. . . peace. Tranquility. . . but surely, how can that last any longer?

CHARACTER(S): BAJI KEISUKE, HANAGAKI TAKEMICHI, HANEMIYA KAZUTORA, KAKUCHO (IMPLIED), MATSUNO CHIFUYU, MRS. HANAGAKI, SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI, TOMAN (IMPLIED), AND YAMAMOTO TAKUYA.

WARNING(S): UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISM AND UNHEALTHY MINDSETS. IMPLIED BLOOD LOSS, DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER (not DID, there is a difference here), AND STAB WOUND.

I'm not sure if that's all the warnings, but these are the main ones, if I do miss a major one, please do tell me! Thank you and happy reading/happy scrolling.

A/N: Hello, it's me again! :)

You already know the gist. . . me and my worker bees giving you what we have to offer lore-wise and showcasing it to you all! I do hope you enjoy your reading and without further ado, let's spill the beans!

PLOT POINTS:

So, where to start? There were some key concepts that I left out during PART ONE. . . let's start with that then!

CLAWS!Takemichi doesn't remember straight away who he is (was). I think I implied this, or just didn't mention it very explicitly, but by this story's standard, CLAWS!Takemichi does not remember who he is from the start.

The "first arc" that has been altered is Takemichi slowly remembering who he used to be, it's only at the end of the arc when Takemichi is pushed into the train tracks during the beginning of the show/manga, that everything starts to be put into its proper place.

He has flashbacks or well his 'lives' flash before his eyes.

I spent a good 5-ish chapters just explaining how this Takemichi alters the canon and still faces the same consequences just altered to fit with the theme of 'reincarnation'.

One of many changes that have been committed was the fact that Takemichi hardly had any 'childhood friends,' yes, Takemichi meets Kakucho and even helps him yet Takemichi doesn't offer an olive branch of friendship till Kakucho claims him as a friend. (and reluctantly Takemichi accepts without any desire to pursue the friendship till it means something to him.)

Then Kakucho is no longer in the picture.

Takuya doesn't appear till Junior High, however, that does not mean that neither met each other as children.

Takemichi just doesn't remember when he first met Takuya. Takemichi firmly believes he first met Takuya in Junior High and has only interacted with him in Junior High.

Which, as you know, is a big issue because that's not the case.

Another thing I've failed to mention previously is that Takemichi often has dissociation episodes. Either it is triggered by internal or external forces or it just happens when Takemichi lets his mind wander for too long.

This results in Takemichi often simulating himself to doing something so he won't be like a doll letting the world pass by.

He doesn't have the time or effort or will to sit around and look pretty if it means being left alone with the thoughts that push him to remember a past that has long since been reduced to a mere folktale by the younger generations.

Especially, where in this life. . . he has nothing else to worry about other than living a life where he does basically anything his heart could desire. (despite not having a family in this life to call his own — or to protect.)

Again, this results in Takemichi's habit of intervening in fights, especially, when he was younger since he dissociated a lot as a child which led to this 'fighting the big guys' that resulted in CLAWS!Takemichi interacting with the Tokyo Revengers characters way earlier than canon without ever really retaining the fact he has met them before.

This is how Takuya met Takemichi.

Either Takuya was a victim of the bullying or he was a spectator to the fights Takemichi took part in, and he realized Takemichi just standing there non-reactant was wrong. At least, something was wrong with Takemichi. So, he took it upon himself to always look after Takemichi without ever really saying anything to Takemichi.

This leads to this odd dynamic duo since Takemichi never knew this. He never thought of the 'hows' or the 'gaps' in his memory when he saw himself back in his childhood home.

Takemichi always assumes he just walked home subconsciously and never asked 'how did I get here?' because Takemichi truly believes he did it on his own. He never assumes there's a third person in all of this.

Of course, this assumes that Takuya lives nearby and knows which house to bring Takemichi back to whenever he goes blank.

Another thing that changes that I did state, but didn't dwell on is Takemichi's ability to fight. CLAWS!Takemichi can fight and does fight. Oftentimes, he fights for a reason because morally wise, Takemichi fights to protect because Sanemi fought to protect humanity from demons.

Which is a noble reason. However, he also fights because he can't do anything else.

As much as I want to dwell on making this Takemichi a saint, he is not a saint. Especially, if Takemichi is the reincarnation of Sanemi. Sanemi isn't a saint, he follows the rules, but his actions can be viewed from a range of perspectives.

And if I'm being honest, I didn't even like Sanemi prior to reading the manga (thankfully reading the manga helps, though it doesn't always justify his actions) so, trying to make CLAWS!Takemichi be like this saint-like hero just won't make sense.

At least, not at first.

Another thing, about this Takemichi is that communication can be a hit or miss because Takemichi knows communication is important, his mother taught him about it after all. However, as Sanemi, being a hundred percent honest just will not do for either of them.

So, depending on the person and what they're asking it's a 50/50 chance of Takemichi answering with the truth or a half-baked or avoiding the truth.

One last thing for tonight that I want to talk about it's Takemichi's headspace! Or mindset if that makes sense because I've implied somethings that I never put on PART ONE.

Takemichi's mindset is like a contradiction, an ambivalence because mixing Sanemi with Takemichi's personality was a little hard (in my opinion) to do.

On one hand, Takemichi learns to be a leader, he's a single child, and he's this coward that learns to care for people to the point he's willing to do whatever it takes to get the perfect ending.

On the other, from what we see from Genya's perspective about Sanemi, is that as an older brother, he had to grow up faster, he didn't need to worry about himself, he was irrelevant to his own self, but his siblings? They were his priority.

His worries, his feelings, and everything about Sanemi just didn't matter and when his mother turned into a demon - when it was just Sanemi and Genya - Sanemi pushed Genya away because in his eyes there wasn't anything else he could do. There was nothing that Sanemi could do back then that didn't end up in failure.

And as everyone knows, trauma affects everyone differently. Having that brash exterior and showing everyone teeth instead of his heart was the only way, back then, for Sanemi to protect others and himself.

He couldn't hesitate, he couldn't misplace himself, and he couldn't mourn properly. He just had to go, go, go.

Manga knows how the ending goes for this, but for spoiler's sake I will not elaborate other than this: bittersweetness.

So, in order for me to make this balance work, I had to make this Takemichi be this calm, confident, but brash individual. Also, there are mental health issues at play to his character here as well because Takemichi's actions can count as heroic or caring, but Takemichi never thinks that.

Takemichi always thinks he's doing what he can do. There isn't an afterthought 'if this was a good action,' it's only 'what can I do right now.' At the current moment, whether that be intimidating the enemy, his own companions, or straight up using his own body to act as a meat shield. . . Takemichi's actions always have a good reason, but never the right angle.

Think of it like this since I really don't want to spoil the manga, but think of Muichiro and Yuichiro. Yuichiro cares about his brother, we know this because Yuichiro confesses to this at the end of his life. Of course, we don't see how Yuichiro cares because his actions aren't viewed as caring.

Yuichiro cared and probably wanted Muichiro to learn how to handle himself and live a long life, but we didn't know that till his death where you see the full picture.

This is how I view Sanemi sometimes and how this Takemichi acts. The reader is aware of Takemichi's things and thoughts, but not the T.R. characters. Chifuyu didn't know why Takemichi thought it was a good idea to use his own body as a meat shield. His mother knew Takemichi did things for a reason, but never fully comprehended the 'why' of his actions. And none of Toman would know why Takemichi was so hell-bent on being Kisaki's number-one hater.

Not till the 'why' came after all was said and done.

For Chifuyu, who is a confirmed reincarnation, and who will remember his memories eventually. Takemichi used himself because Takemichi didn't want Baji to die. The angle and height at which the knife was heading were going to hit a vital spot and unless Baji knew how to clot that up fast enough, Baji could've died.

This death would've affected Chifuyu and it definitely had in the canon, but this Takemichi knew if he were to be stabbed and bled, he'd be fine because this wasn't his first rodeo (and it won't be his last.)

I didn't even add this at all in the last part, but the way I thought about this was that once Takemichi got stabbed for Baji, it was like there was a switch in personality.

Either due to the adrenaline or the fact that the knife Kazutora used did hit something major in Takemichi's body, Takemichi was out for blood. Legit, he was like "If I'm going down, I'm going down with a bang."

Because the end result of the Valhalla vs Toman arc is that Toman and every other gang that gathered to watch the fight witness just how stubborn and unwilling Takemichi is to lose a war and to die without at least doing something prior to knocking on death's door.

And that's if Takemichi gets to die.

In order for me to make sense, this is what happened in the Valhalla vs Toman arc, Takemichi tries (and fails because he sucks at negotiations) to convince Baji to drop it and Bloody Halloween happens. Then when the fight commences, things are going smoothly because Takemichi can fight and will kick butt. However, Baji gets killed - or he was supposed to get killed till Takemichi recalls his main purpose was to not get Baji killed.

It was a split-in-the-moment decision to run from one side of the arena to the other, Takemichi knew Chifuyu couldn't go against Baji, it was kinda obvious from Takemichi's perspective, but he didn't have time to think and the worst - in Takemichi's eyes - was that he ended up dead or in a hospital.

Of course, it has been a solid minute getting injured and whether or not Takemichi could say he enjoyed it or not is up for debate. (Again, while Takemichi isn't in a full-blown depressive mindset or accepting of his reality, there are times where he needs to be anchored. The easiest way for him is through the adrenaline of a fight: a die or live situation.)

The sudden adrenaline boost was like a trigger for Takemichi and especially for Sanemi because while Kazutora gets pushed away harshly (that's the only thing Takemichi will do to Kazutora), the knife used to stab Takemichi is taken out (dumbly, but Takemichi wasn't thinking straight), and he bulldozed into battle (literally in a single jump that should be physically impossible and aerial flips that have to had hurt and aggravated the fatal wound).

Letting himself use the body that has been forced to play house into the reality of what it can do, what it should've been doing from the very start.

The shout and yell of Takemichi's name does bring forth a lot of attention and when it reaches the captains and Mikey himself about Takemichi's current state it's like a battle has shifted to get Takemichi to stop because he's bleeding out.

Though of course, it isn't as simple as that, and reaching Takemichi seems impossible, and when the ambulance and hint of police involvement get mentioned the battlefield withers.

It takes several, and I mean several people, to get Takemichi to stop because he doesn't let up, he doesn't stop hitting anything with the white jacket. Whether it be kicking some sense into them or springboarding off of people, Toman is actively trying to get Takemichi to stop from dying, and when they do they are shocked by the outcome.

Takemichi did lose quite a bit of blood and is hanging on to life with his thumbs, but Toman was surprised that Takemichi - at some point - lost consciousness and was fighting purely from adrenaline and instincts that have been burned into his skin like scars that can never be removed.

The recovery process is something entirely of its own so, I won't ramble about it, but what I can ramble about for a little longer is that due to the fact that Chifuyu is a reincarnation of someone Takemichi knew, this plays into the fact about Takemichi's why.

Takemichi has a suspicion about who Chifuyu was back then, but he won't know till his hunch is either confirmed or outright incorret.

Also, funnily enough, Baji is also a reincarnation. This will show the duality of reincarnation and the pain of being able to remember and being oblivious to how things used to be.

Anyway, before I go and make this more lengthy than it has to be, the next part will most likely dwell on which characters are reincarnations and who are not.

Also, I may or may not example another arc or so, but we shall see. Funnily enough, I've already written about this and even have chapters on AO3 about this idea though I never got far till the beginning of the first arc, but I plan to write in it again.

I find that writing out on what happens is nice and I enjoy rambling about it and then writing about it or vice versa.

Ahem, thank you for reading this far and for your time. I hope you have a happy reading and have a fair day, night, or whatever time it is for you. Thank you, and I bid you adieu!

(Not sure if this counts as a promo and if it does, I'm sincerely sorry, that is not my intention, but if you're genuinely curious about how I write the actual story this is called 'CLAWS-PURIYING WIND by KitCat_The_TatoBean'.

So, just the AU name and that's it. I'm currently rewriting it and the explanation of arcs to you guys has always helped me when I do write. So, only read this if you want to, just reading this is helpful enough, and again, thank you for your time. Have a lovely day! :D)

[theoracleofgiana]

Thoughts - The Pixie and The Dryad

19. “You're always with me”

(Tw: Swearing,)

Emi complains a lot. It's the truth and he wears it with honor most of the time. He once told Lexi it was because his filter is broken. Lexi said she didn't mind. So, Emi complains to Lexi about everything and anything that annoys him. In turn, Lexi never judges when he changes his mind or tells him he's wrong. Today was different. Lexi knew the moment the pixie walked in and didn't say a word. 

“Pix?” The dryad can't help the concern seeping into their voice. Usually, Emi would start by telling Lexi about his day and then complaining about customers that annoyed him. Today, Emi walked in and starts the kettle without even looking at Lexi. The pixie stays silent as he reaches for the tea bags. “Emi,” He freezes at Lexi's tone. He slowly turns to the dryad, unable to meet their eyes. Lexi frowns and takes the box out of his hands. She envelops him in a hug and waits. 

It doesn't take long for the pixie to crack. “It's nothing,” He tries only to be hugged tighter. “You do so much for me already,” He attempts with no luck. Emi sighs and wraps his arms around Lexi. “Am I too much?” He asks softly and it makes Lexi's heart clench. “No. Never,” Emi lets out a choked-out sob at the statement. ”I am! I complain way too much. I talk too much. Everything I say is wrong ad I'm very bitchy! You're always with me! You must hate me!” Emi rambles through tears. Lexi simply holds him tighter. “I could never hate you,” The dryad says, blinking away their own tears. It hurt that Emi would ever think of himself as too much. “You are wonderful and kind. I enjoy it when you talk to me and complain about things.” Emi sniffles at the words. “Emi,” Lexi looks the pixie in the eyes. “I hang out with you because you're my best friend and I enjoy spending time with you.“ Emi lets out another sob. Lexi holds and rubs his back soothingly. 

They move to the living room couch after calming down. Emi is on Lexi's lap with his head on their shoulder. ”Want to tell me what happened?' Lexi asks after a few moments. Emi makes a noise of disapproval. It makes Lexi roll their eyes. ”You have to tell me eventually,“ The dryad teases. They both knew Lexi would let it go if Emi really didn't want to say. The pixie sighs and gives in. ”One of the new hires told me to shut up,“ Emi can feel Lexi tense up under him. He gives the dryad a look before continuing. “Mika told me she was being rude but, I guess it got to me. My thoughts spiraled and I thought maybe you hate me but, you're too nice to leave.” Lexi snorts at the idea. “Hon, I can name several people who would disagree,” She says with a dismissive wave. “Then they would be wrong,” Emi responds crossing his arms in fake annoyance. 

“No, they would be right. I can be super mean.” 

“Bullshit.”

“Pix, you are one of the only people who see nice Lexi.”

“Again, bullshit. You are the nicest-HEY!”

Emi gets cut off by Lexi picking him up. Lexi chuckles at the pixie's glare. “Am I so nice now?” The dryad says with a teasing grin. Emi huffs but struggles to keep the smile off his face. Lexi sits him down after a moment. “You are way too strong,“ Emi remarks. ”Thank you, I try,“ Lexi responds in kind, making a show of showing off their muscles. Emi grins and launches himself at the dryad. Lexi catches him with ease. ”Oh my,“ Lexi says dramatically falling onto the couch. “A pretty boy on top of me, whatever shall I do?” Emi lightly smacks their arm. Lexi just grins in response. They stay like that for hours, joking and talking to each other. 

(A/n: The list has dialogue as well. I love writing about these two. They're very sweet and care a lot about each other. I hope you enjoy and have a peaceful day!)

[bloodyrosesnthorns]

this life thing is getting too difficult to continue.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[burned0utstar]

I miss him. So much.

It feels like I will never see him again. It feels like I can never hold him again. It feels like it's all over and lost.

I can't, I don't want to keep going like this.

[twinktor-frankenstein]

They're like Jim and Pam for people with mental health issues

[obsessionatthemoment]

Before I say this, I wanna say that this is not specifically Byler related. I really only go on tumblr for Byler related things, and have seen people put this on Byler posts or fanfiction, so that’s why I tagged Byler. Trigger warning for mention of people telling other people to hurt themselves.

I just want to say that I don’t think it’s funny to tell someone “kys” (whether the abbreviated version or the actual words) even as a joke. As someone who has been told by someone to do this to myself and as someone who has had these thoughts, it isn’t funny.

You never know how the person you are telling this to is feeling, even if you know them really well. Even if you mean this as a joke, they might not take it as one. There are other ways to express, or jokingly express your dislike.

This is a sensitive topic and it seems like people in society forget that (especially on the internet). Just remember that jokes can hurt even if you didn’t mean it to.

Thanks, and sorry for the rant. This just kind of hit a sensitive spot.

[smolstarthief]

So has one ever reached a horrifying realization that Sumire technically got a glimpse of how Kasumi probably felt with her own peers? Especially the expectations and high praise towards her which made her seem perfect but probably got the same mistreatment from others like at Shujin but hid it all with a smile? 'Cause I just did the more I started to analyze the real Kasumi from what we do know.

[ijustbesayinstuff]

Ever since I started eating like 10-60 cals my side has been hurting. It would only start after I eat something and or when I tense my stomach in anyway. I think it’s has something to do with my gallbladder because of where it hurts but should I be eating more vitamins or something?

[lonelyandlostintime]

There is actually a freeing feeling that comes when you relieve yourself of the weight of worrying about the future by realising you’re not going to live to see it

[bloodyrosesnthorns]

summertime sadness fr fr.

[kittyaccent]

Tumbling since 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣3️⃣

Here to motivate myself to be the person I want to be ✨

⚠️ T r i g g e r w a r n i n g ⚠️

stay away if you're in recovery and stay strong! You can do it🩷

You're welcome if you also want to be

thinner

fitter

cleaner

cuter

prettier

stronger

lighter

hard worker

b e t t e r

🍄

my stats

height: 160 cm

SW/HW: 65 kg

LW: 42 kg

CW: 60 kg

GW1: 58 kg

GW2: 55 kg

GW3: 52 kg

UGW: i really don't know yet

❗️I do A LOT of meansp0 ❗️ And that's because I hate myself. Please block if it is not ok for you.

[burned0utstar]

I've been lying about getting better, every time someone asks me how I'm doing I tell them how great I am, how much I improved, that I'm passing my exams and getting shit done.

But actually, actually, I have never felt more alone. I am not thinking about death but my soul is craving it. I am not hurting myself in a physical way, but in other ways that matter too.

I don't know how to explain that everything is looking better but I'm feeling worse.

I don't know how to ask for help when everything seems to go along smoothly.

[slyther-bi]

I was listening to music and I started imaging Severus in a muggle mental hospital after becoming a drunk like his father (but not violent), becoming self destructive with some potions to get high, and suicidal tendencies. Like Severus no longer cares about what happens to him or about keeping secrets.

While there he meets a girl name Laura, who's there due to suicidal tendencies and abandonment issues. She becomes attached to Severus because one night Severus tells her a story about his first time dealing with some magical creature. Laura thinks it's funny and just a fake story, since then she's become very attached to him.

Severus, while detoxing, talks about the Wizarding world to a therapist and to Laura, whenever she has a melt down or is just sad. Dumbledore doesn't notice that Severus hasn't shown up for 6th year and he only realizes it when a few slytherins notice and question his absence. Now Dumbledore tries to locate him but he fails. It isn't until Severus uses magic to change Laura's hair to different colors inorder to cheer her up that Dumbledore finds out where he is.

The ministry is there obviously and they try to remove Severus but Lucius gets involved when he caught word of what's going on. The ministry is concerned over the fact that Severus has talked about the Wizarding world but Lucius has no concern since no one believes him, hell it's written in Severus's file that he's a schizophrenic (which is a lie, clearly)

Now Lucius, Dumbledore, and the Ministry are trying to figure out what to do. Lucius wants to leave Severus there, Dumbledore wants to bring Severus back to hogwarts, and The Ministry wants to place Severus in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries

And while they all argue Severus is having his hair braided by Laura while he happily reads to her.

This is a random drawing of Severus and Laura together

[hiccupbutpurple]

Okay random OC lore drop lol (thank you @evilwriter37 for giving me an excuse lol) - imma just talk a bit about them abstractly as an intro lol!

TW: Implied but unspecified mental health issues, family issues, referenced abuse and mention of death

- So my main character is Nix. They started as Nicky from when I was a kid watching Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn but then kinda became the personification of my intrusive, random thoughts and personal experience, and deviated so far from canon I now consider them to be an OC.

- Nix is pretty sarcastic and acts as the braincell when Aspen isn’t available, they’re definitely a trouble maker and will manipulate their way into anything but is still very caring of the people they love. They tend to lash out and can forget consequences exist sometimes (leading to a lot of different trouble). They have 3 siblings (taken from Nrdd) and overall a pretty good family but also feels overlooked or outcast from that family. They especially have a lot of conflicts with their sister.

- Robin completely lacks any social inhibitions and impulse control and she’s often the driving force for plot. Her adopted family is great but she went through a lot as a young child and lost her younger sister. I want to focus a lot of her development around the concept of family and trust. Romance is also a big part of it as she has crushes on Nix and Aspen but their feelings towards her are more complicated.

- Mischa is an absolute himbo and also a thief. He also comes from a bad home and often goes overboard trying to impress the others and their families to compensate. He also lacks an impulse control but isn’t as wild as Robin (unless talked into it) and just goes along with things, so a lot of his development is about gaining his own sense of self and learning to take control of his life and decisions.

- Aspen is a loner and doesn’t particularly care about others (not in a mean way just in a, genuinely doesn’t care what’s happening way). She moreso gets dragged into things involuntary or just because she doesn’t have anything else to do. I want to focus a fair amount on her and her mothers relationship, her mother is very sweet but is definitely hurt by her child’s lack on interest in everybody and as a result can become more overbearing on the whole group.

- It’s basically just a found family, queer coming of age story with them dealing with their traumas and challenges from mental health and being queer as a short summary

[anewdaywilldawn]

Can’t stop crying over these two damn lines.

IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.