#imagine ruth’s interactions with anyone

[angevvine]

not sure how to articulate this but i’ll try my best

honestly one of the best parts of npmd/ hatchet field in general is the potential for dynamics

like every character is so fun and charming that u could basically mix and match them however and it always works

prolly most obviously is the idea of jon matteson’s characters being a family, the idea of them all at thanksgiving is brill, but why stop there?

like i could just put names in a generator and every result has dozens of scenarios and possible dynamics

they could hate each other or be madly in love and either way be in character

[swingingthehatchetnow]

Pete always averted his eyes around the homeless man downtown. Whether it was because he got awkward around social interaction or felt unwarranted guilt about the man’s situation, he’d never managed to look the man in the eyes before. He couldn’t describe his face if he tried.

That changed after Jägerman.

The things that used to be uncomfortable really weren’t anymore. After holding court with the Void, a man on the street really doesn’t seem all that intimidating. Ruth and Richie would’ve made fun of him if he was scared of the little things after the whole ordeal, he knew. It helped him to imagine their reactions. Coping and whatnot.

His walk home was lonelier. As were his study sessions and social life. But the walks home were when he really felt their loss. Even though Pete and Ruth lived in the opposite direction, they’d walk with Richie to his place, and then cut through downtown to get back to the other side of town, where he and Ruth would part ways near the Coldstone, both going to their respective homes.

He still followed that route. Coping. And whatnot.

It was just after noon. Pete had his AP statistics final in the morning, and had no class in the afternoon, because his teachers were proctoring other exams around the school. So here he was. Peter Spankoffski, walking through downtown Hatchetfield, alone. Steph had a full school day, so he wouldn’t see her until later.

“Excuse me, do you have a minute to talk about saving our planet?”

He turned. The Green Peace girl was at it again, with a wide smile and a clipboard in hand.

“It’ll only take a minute of your time,” she continued, now holding out a brochure. Trying to reduce the amount of time he had to talk to her, he took it wordlessly.

“I, um—” his voice cracked, and his face flushed red. Nobody else his age was still having voice cracks. He cleared his throat. “I’ll take a look at it. Saving the world and all.”

Not like he hadn’t done that once already.

The Green Peace girl smiled even wider, and did a little bouncey turn on her heel. The way she bobbed off reminded Pete of Steph when she was in a particularly happy mood. This thought relaxed him a bit.

He tucked the brochure into his pocket and continued walking, though he didn’t get far before he was cut off by someone else.

“Spare change for the homeless?”

Of course he knew that voice. Anyone who spent more than five minutes downtown knew about the homeless man.

Before he even looked at the man in front of him, Pete reached for his wallet. He’d just gotten a bonus at work, so he figured he had a few dollars to spare. Besides, his movie theater job paid surprisingly well.

He grabbed a $5 bill and turned to the man.

“Here you—”

He knew that face.

Older, sure, and a little lost-looking, but there was no doubt about it. Pete was looking at…

“Teddy?”

The 20 year age gap between the Spankoffski boys left them with an interesting dynamic. It was hard to feel like brothers sometimes when one of them was coming home from kindergarten while the other was getting a full time job at CCRP.

But they had their moments. When Pete was learning how to drive, Ted would let him use his car, even though he hadn’t gotten his license yet, or the night before freshman year, when Ted gave Pete his ‘Spankoffski guide to charming the ladies’ guidebook.

Hand trembling, holding out the $5 bill, Pete looked into the cloudy eyes of his older brother. His older older brother.

Somehow, some way… Ted was standing in front of Pete, a shadow of his former self.

“That’s way cool, man,” he said, taking the $5 from Pete. No sense of recollection could be seen.

“Ted, what happened to you…?” Pete watched Ted pocket the money. And then Ted… walked off. Just like that.

“Ted, wait!” Pete called after him, but Ted didn’t turn around. He simply tugged his hat down over his ears and walked off.

With trembling hands, Pete reached for his phone. He spent no more than 3 seconds looking for his brother’s contact info and hitting the call button.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Four…

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

Pete sighed in relief at the sound of his brother’s voice on the other end of the line.

“No,” he said, “my AP exam was today. Ted, I—” he paused, realizing he had no idea what he was going to say. How do you ask someone if they know that they’re the homeless man from downtown.

He lost his nerve.

“…I was just wondering if you want to hang out later. I— I got a new game, and—”

“Yeah, sure whatever. I get off work at the usual time.” A sound came from Ted’s end of the line, fabric shifting, like he’d adjusted how he was sitting. “Is that all? Because I was about to pull the ol’ Spankoffski charm on this barista that Paul is trying to snag.”

The familiarity of the conversation was enough to ease Pete’s worries. Sure, he’d held court with the Void, lost his two best friends, nearly got shot executioner-style, and ran into what he was certain was some version of his brother in the streets… but all that didn’t matter because somewhere in downtown Hatchetfield, Ted Spankoffski was fine. And so was Pete.

“I don’t say it a lot, but I’m glad you’re my brother, Teddy.”

“Sorry, I was talking to Charlotte. Did you say something?”

Pete smiled and hung up.

Maybe the universe was bigger than he knew and could ever understand.

So what.

[electronickingdomfox]

"The New Voyages" review

This one is actually a collection of short stories by fan authors, which makes the stories seem more like episodes of the series. It has also the distinct honor of being introduced by Roddenberry and most members of the cast. The stories are generally well-written and in character.

Some spoilers ahead:

Ni Var (by Claire Gabriel; intro by Nimoy) takes the plot of "The Enemy Within", but applied to Spock and the division between his Vulcan rational part, and his human emotional part. Besides the fact that I'm not sure such division works at that biological level, the two Spocks aren't all that different really. And it's not a very novel concept, specially right after a similar plot in previous book "Spock must die". But bonus points for Kirk giving the middle finger to his own reflection.

Intersection Point (by Juanita Coulson; intro by Doohan) is one of the best stories. The Enterprise is seriously crippled while navigating through an anomaly cloud, which is quickly contracting and threatens to crush the entire ship. Anyone who enters the cloud to retrieve a crucial component of the ship, is mentally destroyed by its eldritch qualities. Great tension and difficult choices.

The Enchanted Pool (by Marcia Ericson; intro by Nichols) is an attempt to write a fairy tale with Spock thrown in the middle for good measure. A bit of purple prose, and doesn't quite work. The resolution of the mistery is ingenous, even when convoluted.

Visit to a Weird Planet Revisited (by Ruth Berman; intro by Barrett) is actually the other half of a fanfic (Visit to a Weird Planet, not published here) where Kirk, Spock and Bones end up in the real world, right in the studio where they're filming Star Trek. Here instead, we follow the actors, who appear in the Enterprise and have to improvise to avert a danger. The other story was more fun, since Kirk and co. are more clumsy and hilarious in our world (being even "attacked" by fans), while the actors are just slightly less competent than their counterparts.

The Face on the Barroom Floor (by Eleanor Arnason and Ruth Berman; intro by Takei) is a really fun story. Kirk gets into a fight in a bar while in shore leave, is detained, teams up with a ratty thief, and crashes a party, while his crew search for him frantically. In the line of TOS best comedy-adventure episodes.

The Hunting (by Doris Beetem; intro by the editors) is a bit "meh". Spock goes into a Vulcan ritual which requires to mind-meld with a wild beast, and McCoy accompanies him. When Spock goes wild in the process, the good doctor has to hunt him and give him back his sanity. There could have been a more homoerotic fight between them, as in "Amok Time".

The Winged Dreamers (by Jennifer Guttridge; intro by Kelley) is another high point. The Enterprise crew falls under the influence of some creatures that make their fantasies seem real. So real that people can actually die if imagining the wrong thing. Spock is less affected, but slowly begins to hallucinate too, and the triumvirate fall into paranoia as neither they (nor the reader) can tell what's real and what's not anymore.

Mind-Sifter (by Shirley Maiewski; intro by Shatner) drags a bit at the beginning, when Kirk wakes up in a sanatory, his mind almost destroyed. It gets more interesting once Spock and McCoy start a quest to search for him. Great interactions between these two, reminiscent of "The Tholian Web".

After the eight stories there's still a little poem about Spock and Leila.

Spirk Meter: 10/10*. Not all stories are equally slashy, but the parts which do, are slashy in spades.

Ni Var has Kirk worrying about Spock all the time, and "human Spock" wondering if what he feels for the Captain is friendship... or love (something which happens too in one of Roddenberry's story concepts for a movie, around this time).

Intersection Point has a clear parallel between the anguish of a female crewmember, after a man (obviously her boyfriend) loses his mind in the anomaly, and Kirk agonizing once Spock has to enter the same anomaly.

The Enchanted Pool, where Spock refuses to kiss a beautiful female time and time again. Even when the woman assures him it's the only way to break a spell and escape. Even when Spock is doing far more dangerous things ALL THE TIME to solve problems. Of course, he considers the kiss a total waste of time once it doesn't work.

The Face on the Barroom Floor: Kirk is invited to a bar by McCoy and Sulu, who have found three women to pass the time, one for each. What does Kirk do? He gets out the bar two seconds later, puts on a samurai costume, and goes instead to a bar full of muscular, rowdy men, to get thrashed by them. Of course.

The Winged Dreamers has Spock wishing to stay on a planet with Kirk, just the two of them, for ever and ever. McCoy totally gets what's going on.

And I thought that Mind-Sifter would be about the love between a (quite unproffesional) nurse, and her mentally unstable patient, Kirk. But oh man, where do I even begin!? For starters, we have Kirk using his mind link with Spock to cry for help, across the galaxy and several centuries. And later he's concerned about how much can Spock read into his mind. Then we have McCoy informing the nurse that no, Kirk can't stay with her, because his love is his career and his... (trails off, having said too much). Gallant Spock carries an unconscious Kirk in his arms, and tells the nurse that, no matter how much she loves him, Kirk DOES NOT love her back (bitch!). If that wasn't enough, there's a lenghty conversation at the end, where Kirk almost melts in love and appreciation for Spock, and the Vulcan blushes at his own emotional display.

*A 10 in this scale is the most obvious spirk moments in TOS. Think of the back massage, "You make me believe in miracles", or "Amok Time" for example.

[mostlyghostlyy]

Haven’t seen anyone mention the fact that he lives with Harkers mom. Would be a very weird living arrangement, especially if he had an S/O on top of all that

Yeah, I'm actually not even sure how Ruth and Dale got to that conclusion. Like I'm imagining, it was really weird for her to begin with. How would you guys feel if you were threatened into complying and he just moves into your basement? Where was he living before? It's actually really funny. I would have liked to have had more in-depth interactions with them so we could've gotten a feel for their dynamic.

Imagine Ruth is just going about her day, and she sees this absolute joker pulling this pretty little thing (us) into the basement with him. I think she'd lose her shit. I think Cobble would be very secretive of you, but also somehow flaunting you? Oh my God, imagine her walking in on an intimate moment. He would be so irate. Slamming the door and yelling furiously like an angry teenager.

I think he'd expect to move in with you. No way he would be eager to stay with Harker after he meets you. He wouldn't be asking. It would be demanding. Or perhaps you come home one day to find all of his stuff already moved in. Why would he bother to ask if the outcome is going to be the same whether you said yes or no?

[weltato]

hey!! all of your hatchetfield stuff is so cool omg, i love ur account. i was wondering, if like,, the entire hatchetfield side of tumblr performed npmd, which blog would u cast as each character ? XD

Aww, tysm! <3

Idk if I know that many accounts but I can try 😅😂

Ruth - @jewishruthfleming for obvious reasons. Partly the name but also because you feel very Ruth-coded to me Olive <3

Richie - @androgynous-sack-of-flesh-3 gives me "sit at the back of the class and has a million internet friends but will not speak up in the classroom" vibes. Idk how true the weeaboo aspect of Richie would be, but the other stuff for sure.

Steph - @marvelmaniac715 idk why, I just feel like you'd fit Marvel. Steph is very opinionated and open about it, and she gets to tell Jon Matteson to grow up. She's the main character that interacts with him the least iirc. Have fun!

Pete - @lilacthebooklover you have the energy of Pete being terrified to walk down a certain hallway, but as soon as you're trying to meet up with someone you care for you'll go through hell or high water for it.

Grace - I hate to say it, but me 😅 I'm not an uptight bitch like Grace, but I am a Christian who's never had a crush before, so I can imagine some weird things going down when that happens. Also, Black Book. I get funky powers. And the most chilling line of the show at the end. Who wouldn't be excited for that? (I know it's the ensemble that sings it and not Grace but can you imagine just being in the middle of that? So cool!)

Detective Shapiro - @queermarzipan the line "ON THE GROUND BITCH, I'M A COP!" feels like something you'd say. It gives me big "yeh prove it asshole, we're the army" vibes and something about those lines fits your chaotic energy.

That's all I've got anon! Sorry I couldn't add more, I don't know anyone with enough jock energy to fill Max.

If anyone tagged here has more they want to add on, feel free!

[spigosaur]

VERY new to the Hatchetfield-verse. NPMD was the first ever Starkid musical I’ve seen so I’m trying to learn about the rest of the series

Uhhh lemme see- Headcanons…

Richie having an Asuna body pillow makes me think he’d quote the SAO abridged series. “Take the worst thing you can think of and multiply that by cancer” is something Peter and Ruth hear a lot

Ruth is actually well liked in the theatre program. The actors appreciate all she does and invite her to cast parties. Only reason she’s never gone is cause she thinks it’s some kind of prank (projecting as a former theatre kid—)

Stephanie would be into fanfiction culture. She just has the vibes/pos

Grace described Judas’ betrayal to Ruth and Stephanie once and they described it as “Toxic Yaoi”. She doesn’t tell them Bible lore anymore—

Heyoh!

I'm also kinda new to the fandom. I've watched tgwdlm and Black Friday a few years ago, but I didn't find out about nmt and never interacted with the fandom before npmd. But either way, welcome to hatchetfield and thanks for sending your headcanons!

I don't know if that's what you're referring to but in the show Richie only mentions his body pillows of Rei and Asuka (from Neon Genesis Evangelion) but I don't think that invalidates your hc at all! That obnoxious little disaster of a boy is constantly making references to the weebiest shit and when people don't understand him he calls them uncultured. (Ruth and Pete understand so many anime references because of him without ever having seen any of the media they're from)

Your Ruth hc makes me sad because it makes me think that she's been pranked in that way before and now she doesn't trust anyone who "pretends" to like her anymore :c

Steph I 100% agree with. She has that certain something, the alt style, she's totally a fandom girl. Although most people, even among her friends, don't know that about her. She probably has a tumblr nobody knows about where she yells about her obsessions but irl she never shows that side of herself until she starts hanging out with the nerdy prudes. Seeing them shamelessly gushing over their interests encourages her to let out her inner nerd too. When she eventually starts sharing her fanfics with the others, they're very supportive.

I don't think Grace would know what "toxic yaoi" means so now I'm imagining her being quite happy that her friends reacted so positively to a bible story just for her to look up what that means and. Yes I see why she wouldn't talk to them about bible lore anymore...

[mythicandco]

tmc queer headcanons because why not I s'pose

by the way don't ship anyone or I will put you in the cube. the BAD one

general orientation stuff:

Mark's aroace, uses he/him pronouns, and has trans vibes but I'm not totally sure? maybe agender. Cesar's pan, trans, maybe poly or ambiamorous? and fine with any pronouns (genderfluid before the word for that existed because. he died before 1994) but prefers he/him most of the time (can be very fem presenting though! lots of eyeliner and dresses n such. they're rocking it)

just for sillies, the whole BPS is bi. Evelin's bi and prefers guys (she's not DIRECTLY part of the 'Society but still), Sarah's bi and prefers girls, Jonah's bi and ALSO prefers guys, and Adam's quoiromantic bi-ace because I've gotta project onto SOMEBODY

Evelin uses she/her and sometimes they/them if she feels like it, Sarah's a transgirl and uses she/her, Jonah's a transguy and uses he/they, and Adam is Adam. (we don't. we don't know what he has going on but he prefers he/him)

Thatcher's ALSO bi (trans, he/him), Ruth is demi and cishet (she/her), and Dave's aroace n agender (I dunno why I feel like both of Alex's characters are aroace? they just. those are the Vibes yknow?). they also occasionally use they/them but usually he/him

all of the alts besides Adam are triple a - aro, ace, agender (get it? because. 333-) and use they/it but I think Gabriel and Six play around with he/him as well

additional things 'cause why not:

Mark and Cesar are stupid and codependent. thank you so much, mustang, for putting them permanently in my brain forever /lh, pos. also their dynamic is really funny because Cesar has like a guy draped over one arm a gal on the other and Mark's like "I don't get it but ok cool" I dunno I laugh thinking about that kind of interaction. they also would probably joke about how Mark let Cesar have all of his gender if they actually knew what that meant

bisexual pride society. that's it that's all I have to say about them

Ruth probably said she was an ally and didn't identify as demisexual because she didn't know that was a thing and died before the term was even coined, but if she did she'd be like "omg that's me!" and now I'm making myself sad thinking about it

Ruth also dated a girl once but ultimately decided it wasn't her thing (I imagine they're still really good friends tho!) because it's okay to try stuff out and decide it doesn't fit you

Dave never needed no bitches, but he does give surprisingly good dating advice (got it by watching Thatcher struggle all through high school. Thatcher, for the record, gives AWFUL advice.)

also the mcp3 went to a pride rally at least once before things went to shit. they deserve it

[lostnfounder]

[The following is a transcript of an interaction that took place between Lostfield Reporter Ruth Shirbon and Jasper Rush, God of the Dead, Demon King.] 

R: Alright, I think it’s… yeah, it’s recording. Here. You take it. I’m driving. Huh- Oh, bye Chase! Yep. Okay. Ready?

J: I’ve never been in a car before, but sure. If lying down is fine to do in these. 

R: I- I was gonna say you can have shotgu- okay, and you’re crawling into the backseat. Alright. Let’s go.

[For a second any other sound is drowned out by my car starting, but I did catch Jasper startle from the sudden movement, tail hitting the door hard enough to make him wince before he seemed to ignore it or recover quickly from whatever pain might have happened.]

J: You forgot I have the inconvenience of a tail that makes seats my personal enemy. The wings would have potentially made it worse, what are these straps for?

R: Wha- Wait, yeah, the wings aren’t… what happened to the wings? Those are seatbelts, stop pulling them out that far, they’ll break.

J: You have torture straps in cars? Odd. Oh there’s the buckle thing, I see, it’s like a safety of some sort, like a less useful harness. 

R: Yeah. Uh. It’s to make sure you don’t go flying through the windshield if we crash, or something. Anyway, Are you ready? 

J: Yes, I am. And ah, my wings. Well... I suppose you could say that, I came to accept my bird being gone, and my letting go of the spirit as tight as I had been, let the last of it disperse. It... certainly hurt a great deal to do, but the weight is gone. 

R: Oh… That’s. It seems like a bit of a bittersweet thing, but. I’m glad you were able to move on, dude. 

J: Yeah... Maybe I can contact the ghost more reliably now, but I haven't tried yet. Maybe later. 

R: I have an ouija board in my closet somewhere if you need that, though, uh. I imagine demons have more effective methods of contacting the deceased.

J: Demons don’t, I do, it’s only really a power that the god of Death has. Demons would have no need to contact anyone dead. Uh, it’d take a lot more than a little... board thing... to summon a demon. Ghosts of dead people can't leave the afterlife once they’ve entered. I suppose a ghost who got lost and stayed on Earth would be able to, but not well unless it wasn't the first time ever interacting with one. 

[The audio gets a bit funky for a few seconds because he used the recorder to tap his chin as he thought. It was unpleasant to listen to on the play back.]

R: Ah. That… would explain why none of my seances have ever worked. Damn.

J: Sorry to disappoint, I’m sure you had a great deal of curiosity for some ghosts. I noticed when I arrived you seemed... like someone hiding in a blanket for some reason. What prompted such a response?

R: … Ah. Uhm. I just haven’t had a good week. Saw a… Nevermind. What, uh, kind of shops do you think you want to go to? 

J: Just... a store, generally? Food and things, whatever place might have a nice basket thing for food, and something softer then a picnic blanket. I doubt those are comfortable on a hard surface. Are there not stores that have everything?

R: Oh. Yeah. I guess there are. Sorry. I’m… a bit brain fogged.

J: Hmm, did you hear the sirens in the forest a few days before? They were quite loud, I imagine very close they could contribute to such.

[Nonverbal input registered: A quiet scrunching sound, almost like someone is tightening their hands on a steering wheel.] 

R: Yeah. That’s… That’s why. I couldn’t sleep, that night. Because of the sirens and for no other reasons. 

[The silence is replaced with a curious hum I hadn't heard at the time from Jasper]

J: You were in the woods, weren’t you? Were you doing your investigating research thing, and ran something that scared you? Like a bear, or maybe my friend Argus?

R: No, no, it- it wasn’t alive, man, stop asking.

[Silence for a bit, with some grumbling from Jasper, but he doesn't say anything more about it]

R: Uhm. We’re almost there. You wanna go to… Walgreens? They might have picnic baskets.

J: I suppose, I don’t know anywhere that’s better currently. Do you want me to take this in with us when we arrive, or return it to you?

R: To be honest I’m not sure they’ll let me record in there. I, uh. Don’t exactly have the best track record with… the staff here. Uh. Long story short one time I was convinced one of the patrons was actually a vampire. So. They kinda keep more of an eye on me.

[Laughter from Jasper]

J: What caused you to believe so, don’t tell me it was due to something about sunlight, or garlic?

R: I. I don’t know, to be honest. That was back when I was more into vampire conspiracy than demons, so. I guess any remotely alt-dressing person would be on my suspicion list. 

[He looked obviously amused, grinning as he chuckled]

J: Hmm, so I suppose you know what a proper vampire is now then yes? Well, sort of, anyway. I always thought it was funny, the whole stake to the heart thing. That kills anyone, it isn’t special to vampires. Not that it’d kill a vampire, when they are already dead and don't have beating hearts. 

R: Yeah, I always kinda figured that was bullshit. Same with the silver bullet thing… Wait, shit, is the garlic thing true?

J: If the vampire were allergic, perhaps. Or had a silver allergy. 

R: Huh. Maybe they think that because one guy killed a vampire that just happened to have a garlic allergy. … Ah, there’s the Walgreens.

J: Oh good, it does look big, like something that would sell quite a lot of things. How do I turn this thing off?

R: Uh, you should just be able to press the red button in the mid-

[Transcript end.]

{Final notes: Immediately after he pressed it, he commented that usually, for him, a red button would set off explosives, and he was seemingly relieved that I didn't have an active bomb just… on me that was in danger of exploding. Which is… odd. I don’t know who he’d be around that has that much immediate access to dynamite.}

[sanssouci-sims]

We’re going wayyyy back in time for this one.

Meet Rose and her closest friend (besides her future husband), Kira!

Rose - or as she was previously known, Princess Rosalind - spent the first few years of her life in a very wealthy but warm household. As the title in her name implies, she was a member of royalty! When she was eight years old, however, she was essentially kidnapped by her own mother (who was less than pleased about the royal lifestyle and thought her daughter needed a more “traditional” upbringing) and taken to live in a different country. She was berated, gaslit, and occasionally physically punished by her mother even for the slightest thing that was seen as “unacceptable”. Her mother, named Ruth, would put a stop to the king’s efforts to find their daughter by concocting the narrative that he was “power-hungry” and neglected his daughter in favor of his son. In actuality, that was all lies.

Yeah, Ruth seemed to forget the Victorian Era ended like... centuries ago.

When Rose was around eleven years old, Ruth reached out to a variety of orphanages and ended up adopting a girl from Russia named Kira. At first glance, it seemed like she was showing a smidge of kindness and giving her daughter a friend she could interact with, but she also wanted some “extra help” around the house... that being someone she didn’t have to pay for any services. Kira was subjected to even worse maltreatment from her new “mother”, but what made it just slightly better was having someone the same age around for company.

Rose actually took to Kira really well almost immediately, and from then on, they would be kindred spirits. Not only did they share a genuine interest in each others’ lives but they also had a common interest: to be independent, without anyone to control or judge them for who they were.

They took comfort in confiding in each other, and their most favorite pastime was to just explore the outdoors (beyond the stuffy, dreary home where they lived) and dream of the better lives they wanted to live. These occasions were rare and far between (considering Ruth thought it was “unladylike” for her daughter to run around outdoors where she could soil her clothing and often demanded cleaning and other chores from Kira), but when they finally had time for themselves and Rose’s mother couldn’t think of anything to occupy their time, the girls took their chances and ran.

Occasionally, they would let their imaginations run wild as well, pretending the world around them was more fantastical and free, and they were grown up and able to do the things they dreamed of doing. Rose was a princess, of course, though she’d also pretend she was allowed to walk freely out of her castle and brighten her subjects’ lives with her love of music. Kira, on the other hand, wanted to live peacefully in a quaint home with a vast garden, and wanted to help other people (especially children) who were less fortunate than her.

Fortunately, decades later, Rose and Kira would escape from the clutches of the former’s mother (as well as Rose’s fiancé... oop, spoilers). If you’re wondering what they look like today, well... stay tuned! I’ll definitely post something featuring the two grown-up kindred spirits one of these days. <3

[notoxymoronic]

Reality TV and Social Media

Upon reading and analysing the article by Deller, titled “Chapter Six: Reality Television in an Age of Social Media” from the journal titled Reality Television: The TV Phenomenon That Changed the World, I gained insight into the ways in which social media has changed the nature of fame and self-presentation online, in regards to reality micro-celebrities.

It argues that social media has allowed for the rise of microcelebrities - which could include individuals that use social networking sites to build their own personal brand (Dellar 2019), and can be defined as internet celebrities on a small scale in a specific niche (Funn & Falkof 2021). Microcelebrities are seen as a type of digital performance that combines visual techniques of corporate branding with internet distribution technologies (Dellar 2019).

The article also distinguishes between microcelebrity and online or internet celebrity, which are those who have achieved a certain level of fame beyond their immediate niche. Like reality TV stars, these online celebrities are perceived to have remained in touch with their amateur roots, and they are expected to maintain a sense of authenticity in order to appear genuine to their audience (Dellar 2019), although many microcelebrities from Australian Reality TV appear to have a hard time saying no to brand deals, and only the successfully transparent few are able to filter through sponsorships that align with their core values, at least in my experience on platforms like Instagram.

Celebrities and micro-celebrities can use social media to bypass traditional media platforms and communicate directly with their fans, which in the case of reality TV stars have it well, as they are particularly a more accessible branch of celebrity, so fans may feel more likely to try to reach out to them in a more meaningful way, in the hopes that their favourite reality star might notice them. However, this also opens up a door to a more negative side, where “trolls” or haters can inflict negativity and even cast death threats to these microcelebrities, as they may feel that they are more likely to get a reaction from them, especially since they are more accessible than traditional celebrities (McLaren 2021).

The article also notes that some celebrities use social media primarily to promote their own brand or to drive audiences to other sites of stardom, such as magazine interviews or TV shows (Dellar 2019). Many have even tried to start their own networks, podcasts, small businesses and health brands as a result of their rise to reality TV fame, usually something related to the niche-ness of the character tropes that they exampled on their relevant TV shows and thus capitalising off of that.

So while social media can allow for self-expression, self-presentation, self-promotion and marketing, it in turn opens these stars up to a larger discourse regarding the authenticity of their character/brand, essentially “holding up a mirror to human behaviour and interaction”, which is a confronting thought for anyone that has stopped to think about it (Dellar 2019).

References:

Deller, Ruth A, (2019) Extract: 'Chapter Six: Reality Television in an Age of Social Media', in Reality Television: The TV Phenomenon That Changed the World (Emerald Publishing). 

Dunn, C, Falkof, N, (2021), You've Got to Be Real: Authenticity, ‘Performativity and Micro-Celebrity in South Africa’, Front Sociol Journal, National Library of Medicine online, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8138309/

McLaren, B., (2021), ‘Trolling After Reality TV: ‘It’s Worse Than I Could Have Imagined’, Grazia Magazine, https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/tv-and-film/married-at-first-sight-love-island-trolling-reality-tv/

[holisticsoulhealer]

Good Differences - A Spiritual Story

I love taking every opportunity there is in celebrating all the good differences that make each of us so entirely unique. I hope you, my darling readers, feel that in all that we do, and in the special union that now exists with Jeff and I.

Union is the very thing that is accomplished when we recognize and accept all the many differences and characteristics we all have.

I have witnessed all the many layers that drive wedges between people, and can so often see how to solve those gaps, acknowledge our amazing and unique differences, and return to greater love. In saying that, I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that I myself have left some huge relationships behind, in order to respect myself and be true to who I am. My heart doesn’t let go lightly, even though letting go is very much a personal core ingredient of evolving to this life of mine.

I remember many years ago, meeting with a really bubbly, fun woman at a retreat center, in Northern California. You know when you meet up with someone and there’s an instant familiar sense………they feel like family and it’s instantly comfortable simply being in their presence? She was like that and her whole demeanor was super cool, even with her name being “Sage.”

We were in the same class, learning spiritual principles, and pushing the envelope of opening the heart and claiming more personal understanding. I was “all in” with that class and Sage was delightful company. She was in my bunk house, and I related more to her than anyone else there.

On day two of the five day retreat, Sage asked me if she could be entirely honest, and of course I said yes. She told me sweetly and in an almost shy way that she was someone who preferred the company of women on every level, and was not only drawn to me as a friend, loving my British accent and fun slightly quirky sense of humor, but she was also attracted to me, and wondered if there was any possibility I would ever feel the same. She asked me in such an honest and gentle way, that I wouldn’t have to face her with any rejection or acceptance. It was simply a shared observation and an open hearted question.

I walked with her, letting her know that I had a preference for men on the romantic and sensual level. I did tell her, however, that if I’d have ever imagined or considered a relationship on every level with a woman, it would be an honor to explore that with her. She was filled with all the good differences that anyone would be fortunate to be around. She smiled, hugged me, and we thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our time at that retreat. I was really happy that I witnessed her meeting a lovely woman, who was interested in her on every level, which then completed that interaction we had shared.

 As always, please share this post with anyone that you feel can benefit from it! Please like us on your social media channels and subscribe to our mailing list if you haven't already done so! We are mailing out a monthly newsletter and a recap each week of our blog posts and interesting tidbits! This is how you can stay informed with what is new in the world of The Holistic Soul Healer!!

Love & Blessings,

Ruth

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[bardicindignation]

Reasons Why the Master Should've Been the Timeless Child

Okay, so I was re-watching some Doctor Who the other day, and I got to thinking about all of the problems I had with Chibnall's writing with the Master (rip Missy's excellent character development) and the whole 'Timeless Child' thing in general. And then it occurred to me that it would make way more sense (and, in my opinion, far more compelling) if the Master had been the Timeless Child instead of the Doctor.

and then I talked to @rhea-imagined about it and decided that I would make my first attempt and a semi-coherent meta post:

It would make the Master going absolutely apeshit and destroying all of Gallifrey even after all of the progress Missy had made make, just, so much more sense

Ruth and the whole 'past regenerations that the Doctor doesn't remember' thing can totally stay. Maybe the Doctor was one of the original Timelords to receive regenerations but didn't know where they'd come from. They find out and, being themself, rescue the Master, steal a Tardis and run away.

That could go a long way to explaining why the timelords hate them so much, plus the whole "wanted for a bunch of crimes thing" bc god knows the Time Lords wouldn't let them go easily and wouldn't put setting the Judoon on the Doctor beyond them at all. Plus, it's the Doctor, so they're running into all sorts of trouble along the way anyhow

(just now realizing that, technically, this would make the Master the Doctor's first companion, which is extremely funny)

And the Doctor and the Master spend who knows how long running from Gallifrey, planet to planet, world to world, causing and solving problems in equal measure, and they're the best (and most chaotic of course) of friends

and the Master still chooses the name Master, but it's really short for (or else it just doesn't quite come across in translation) 'Master-of-One's-Own-Fate'

But then the timelords catch up, and it's over. But the Master is so important, and the Doctor so brilliant (and therefore useful, and also as leverage), that they can't just kill them and so they erase both of their memories entirely.

And all of this would go a long way to explaining the Doctor and the Master's relationship, as well as why the Master is Like That because

everything that happened would result in, just, an enormous amount of trauma: rage, hurt, fear, emotional pain, the whole kit and caboodle, which wouldn't necessarily go away with a memory wipe

what the memory wipe would do is take away any means that the Master would have had to deal with it: speaking from personal experience, it's almost impossible to deal with that kind of emotion in any kind of constructive way if you have no idea why you're feeling it

So what you end up with is a genius (who, to be honest, might not have been the most stable of beings before the memory wipe) with a near-bottomless well of all of that mess of emotion and trauma with no direction for it whatsoever. Add to that the High Council electing to send back the signal to save Gallifrey and driving the Master mad at age eight...yeah, they pretty much screwed the Master (and themselves, and the Doctor) over with that one, on top of all the other ways they'd already been screwed over

So: insane, incredibly traumatized genius who's filled to the brim with rage with no direction. Why does he fixate on the Doctor? because of their interactions in the past:

He loves the doctor because they were friends, and the doctor tried SO HARD to save him, and he HATES the Doctor because the doctor should be able to save him, should KNOW and UNDERSTAND him better than anyone and it's like they don't REMEMBER HOW

(Which, of course, isn't rational, because them getting caught wasn't the doctor's fault, and it's not the doctor's fault that they don't remember anything, but, again, if you don't know why you feel something you can't cope with it, suss it out and deal with it)

and then meanwhile, you've got the Doctor, who's also got an unhealthy dose of trauma from everything just, perhaps, somewhat less severe, and they haven't been driven insane by the drums.

What the Doctor's got is this perpetual feeling of guilt for failing the Master, even when stuff happens that isn't in any way shape or from their fault, or even having anything to do with them, because they tried SO HARD in that past life to save them, and it didn't work. Helloooo, guilt complex (that they probably already had, this just makes it worse)

(Also goes a long way to explain the whole insane amount of mercy and forgiveness and love the doctor had for the master)And so, even when the Master becomes Missy and the madness is gone, there's still that rage, and still with no direction, because she CANT REMEMBER so she takes it out on what she always does: that which is important to the doctor

Which, incidentally, is WHY the whole basement imprisonment stuff was beginning to work, because Missy was finally starting to figure out that she isn't actually angry with the doctor at all, doesn't hate them

also, I'd like to think, that after the Master finds out the truth, the whole O thing, would have gone VERY differently

Like, still would've been a total shitshow, but maybe not so much with the world domination and they trying to kill the doctor and her friends because he's finally found where his anger actually goes (and had already begun to figure out where it DOESN'T while he was Missy)

(He still doesn't explain anything useful, bc he still (rather pettily) hates that the doctor forgot and wants her to figure it out herself, rip)

And maybe, when the Master is the timeless child, he doesn't burn all of Galiffrey. Maybe he leaves the civilians, the ones who aren't time lords, who didn't know, didn't benefit the way the Time Lords did. Maybe he leaves the children, who didn't know better, because he's seen what these people DO to children, and its not their fault. Maybe he leaves the Doctor's adopted family and any of their kids/grandkids who are still alive, bc they always cared for them, both of them, and they never knew either

Maybe he only burns the old, callous, cowardly and cruel timelords who got them into this damn mess in the first place and did nothing to fix it, those high handed bastards who would have seen him and the doctor utterly destroyed and gladly profited from their pain

(maybe he waits for the Doctor to figure stuff out, and they make a bonding experience out of blowing up the Citadel or something and then leave again. If Romana's still around, she can be in charge lol.)

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[a-hundred-jewels]

puppet history s5 theories

FROM S3E6

<> Okay, so what’s the deal with Dorothy Ruth, the Molasses Horse’s wife? She died in the molasses flood along with her husband and, if we saw her on the show, was definitely also one of the Professor’s “abominable puppet creations messing with the fabric of time.” So why wasn’t she also in Puppet Purgatory? This could be explained in several ways. Maybe she wasn’t actually real? What if she was a figmant of imagination created by the genie (yknow, Hot Daga, Maizy-the-Corn style) meant to lure the Molasses horse into death? (<i>I hope my wife died too / so I can see her soon / and kiss her spooky horse ghost lips. / And stare into her gorgous, fucked up, oblong horsey pupils / as we drift into the vast abyss. / I guess I’m ready to go / into the great unknown. / It’s been a lovely horsey life.</i>) This might also explain why the Molasses Horse has become minorly insane, starring in an unhinged cooking show where he cooks with molasses, which he mentioned disliking in his S3 Finale song. (<i>My brother has a kidney stone / I sure hope that it passes. / Unrelated, but one thing / I don’t like is molasses.</i>)

FROM S4E1 

<> Ok, obviously we NEED to talk about the end-credits scene. I, being the one of most gullible and easily confused people I’ve met (but don’t worry, I have my strengths), genuinely thought at first that people HAD been complaining about the lore and the Shane really WAS promising to scale it back. I figured it out after the glitch at the end though lol. So this bullet point is just about why the glitch happened. Was that a predecessor to the glitches that would happen in the Puppet Pop-Ins (side note, but I love them just…adding those. No explanation. King shit) as the season went on. Was it to symbolize the genie slowly taking control? I could also be that, although he always loses, Ryan is an integral part of Puppet History and, after he made a deal with the devil, and, subsequently, Asmodeus and the genie, Puppet History itself started to kind of…melt? Like there’s no doubt that Ryan’s (SCRIPTED! CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) betrayal of the Professor was what allowed the Professor’s death to happen, but with the glitches and those purple glows and shit, we really were shown the genie’s slow gaining of control over the season.

<> (i was going to add more to this section but yknow what im tired)

FROM THE 2021 HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR

<> During the funeral, a hologram (or maybe a ghost???) of the Professor appeared and, among other sentiments, told the puppets in a creepy, slow voice, “don’t forget to say your prayers.” First of all, what the fuck was that? It’s never actually cleared up how the Professor appeared or what that meant. Was it a ghost? It looked like a hologram, what with the flickering, but that still doesn’t explain why it was there. Also, the Professor never seemed particularly religious. He engaged with the supernatural, and certainly knew of God, the devil, and Hell, but he never interacted with any of those things in a religious manner. So, why would he tell the puppets to say their prayers? Perhaps the Professor’s appearance was some manipulation of God, who might somehow benefit from prayers. Maybe, since the appearance of the Professor directly led to the discussion of souls and whether or not puppets have them, ergo leading to God’s appearance, the hologram was just a way for God to yeet their way into the episode. This (in my opinion) is still one of the most bizarre parts of the Spectacular and I can’t think of a proper reason for it. Tbh, an explanation for the Professor hologram is 100% exclusively what I want for xmas. 

<> Why it's constantly mentioned that the professor's death is “canonical?” Are we leaving canon? Is this multiverse shit? If anyone’s familiar with <a href=”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staged”>Staged</a> Season 2, they’ll know that, rather than continuing on in a linear story, the second season is about the aftermath of the first season, which is real television in the context of S2 (as in, S2 starts off with a (fake–but real in the context of the show) interview with David Tennant and Michael Sheen about the success of “Staged”). Perhaps PH S5 is going to take a similar approach, somehow? Like was said in the funeral song, “the lore got deep.” Maybe S5 will be actually truly lore-less and will start with something like Shane saying in a meeting that he’s making a bigger puppet and that’s why he killed off the Professor. Maybe the promo material, has just been the origin story of this new Professor. (Unlikely, because I think Watcher knows many of their fans would be unhappy about this, even though it would explain the “canonical” death thing).

<> Why do the puppets have FOOTAGE of the professor's death? Usually, there's only footage of things that the Professor describes as having happened in history, things that are canonically made by Watcher editors. The Professor’s death doesn’t quite fit that category. After all, Death vaguely remembering “processing the death of a little blue nerd with a satchel” doesn't seem like enough for actual footage. (This could be due to the Purgatory thing. However, that wouldn’t explain the footage at the end of S4E6, which we know exists in canon bc the same footage was shown at the Professor’s funeral). 

<> Death says he remembers processing "a little blue nerd with a satchel," during the interview with Book in the Holiday Spectacular. But, when the Professor’s death by T-Rex is shown at the end of S4E6, his satchel is seen falling somewhere else, NOT into the dinosaur’s mouth along with the Professor. Would he somehow get it later when his death was being processed or does Death have it wrong somehow? After all, the Molasses Horse is still shown covered in molasses every time we’ve seen him after his death. If he looks the same as he did when he died, shouldn’t the Professor’s body also follow that rule? (i.e. shouldn’t he NOT have his satchel?)

<> During the funeral song, there’s an oddly specific note about the Beef Boy (aka Ryan Bergara) maybe “saving the day, somehow. But probably not.” Most PH fans can agree that’s a direct implication that Ryan will be involved in the Professor’s return. What if he goes in the opposite direction from his previous alliance, and makes a deal with God?

<> The fact that Ryan's bit of the memorial video is filmed in front of the <a href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waGXWSfKP2c”>Ghost Files</a> set, which they described as having a holding place for ghosts, might indicate that there’s going to be something to do with the Professor’s ghost–maybe even a crossover between PH and Ghost Files. After all, GF was even mentioned in the funeral song, and we’ve seen that there’s a taped outline of the Professor’s body on the floor of the GF set. (May be unlikely–PH S5 promo seems to be leaning towards a “rebirth” sort of thing, rather than ghosts). 

FROM S5 PROMO STUFF

<> Is the Professor being born into a new, massive body? In one episode of S4, the Professor made a comment about “hopefully being a little bigger” if he was reborn. In the end credits of the S4 finale, the Professor was swallowed by a T-Rex, known as one of the biggest carnivorous dinosaurs. Then, in the end credits of the Holiday Spectacular, we saw the Professor in a womb, presumably the womb of a T-Rex, which can be scientifically described as “fucking massive.” Finally, the S5 promo showed the Professor being born from an egg (probably a T-Rex egg). If the Professor is being born from a regular-sized T-Rex egg, then he’d be gigantic. Is that the evolution that’s occurring? In that case, how would the Professor go from being eaten, to being in a womb? Scientifically, that doesn’t seem quite right. (But let’s trust the creator of <a href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYruGMXA5w8”>Extreme Science</a> to have thought that out). 

<> While it might just be a sort-of tease, with Watcher saying “not sure about who’s going to host it, though” about PH S5, there’s a chance it could mean a literal change in host. WTF would that mean?????

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT

<> Okay, first off I’ve seen some people on the internet speculating about the returning of PH being sort of a bashing of Ryan, and I personally don’t really like that. I don’t think it’s fair to either Real-Person-Ryan or, for that matter, PH-Character-Ryan (because, at the end of the day, this show IS fictional and, in the context of PH, Ryan Bergara is a character) for a number of reasons. Most obviously, Person Ryan is worth more than that, both as a member of Watcher Entertainment and as, like, a human. He might be a character in the show, as said previously, but it would be foolish not to acknowlage that the line is thinner than in most cases with Puppet History. But also, Character Ryan is more complicated and interesting than just his involvement in the Professor’s death, and his development over the show (specifically in the episodes–again, talking about Ryan-as-a-character right now) deserves more than an endpoint of just being sad and remorseful over the Professor’s death. And honestly I think that if that’s what you’re hoping for in S5, or you’re one of the people who doesn’t like to separate Character Ryan’s scripted actions in PH from him as a person, you really need to rethink your priorities. 

<> With that out of the way, WHAT IF RYAN HOSTS THE FIRST EPISODE? (Look, bare with me, I’m on an airplane while making these notes, I’m going feral). Seriously, though, it would certainly be one of the more plausible explanations of how S5 would start. What if (Character!!!) Ryan decided he was sick of being held responsible for the end of PH and so starts up a new season himself, either hosting it as his human self, or making his own puppet to take over. Maybe then, the Professor (if it is, in fact, him who we saw getting birthed out that egg) will be so mad about PH going on without him that he’ll somehow harness his powers (if he still has them?? Srsly. Feral.) and yeet back into the present to take over. 

<> What if Shane comes in as a character? What if Character Shane is revealed to be the human(?) version of the Professor who was eating jellybeans to stay a puppet. After all, it has already been (somewhat jokingly) suspected that the Professor was once human and that he’d been turned via jelly beans (as we saw happen with Garrick Bernard during the show). Perhaps this could also be combined with the Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernaturnal theories that Shane is an immortal demon, and have the <i>Professor</i> be an immortal demon (which would explain why he got reborn after being eaten by a dinosaur). In that case, the timeline could look something like this (or somethng wildly different–again, airplane + I’m sleep deprived): Shane is born. Shane starts eating jelly beans to be a puppet, which also turns him into a demon. The Professor is killed and sent back to the Cretacious Period, which accidently wakes up his human self (Shane). But, since the Professor was immortal, his death by T-Rex isn’t permanent and he gets rebirthed and lives until the present day (potentially starting a loop maybe??). Oops! Now there are two of them. So yeah. Editing me, please make sense of these unhinged ramblings. (mmmmm nah, don’t feel like it)

[sircarolyn]

helsinki thoughts:

i might be wrong but i think this is one of the more unpopular episodes? anyway you're all wrong this episode's great i love carolyn!!! !! !!!

Golf echo..... echo..... we really didn't get enought carl

here's one for the marlas shippers, i love this scene it's so funny - martin and douglas are so good when they're not fighting, love that by this point they're actually friends

arthur ❤❤❤ the numbers he would have picked my god my heart is so full of love for this guy

carolyn's birthday!!! i know it doesn't fit into the timeline (praise be to it on ao3) but also her birthday is october because i say so

arthur singing h hh h h hh h

they all sound so shocked when martin says he didn't forget and i just want to see carolyn's face through this whole bit

when she calls arthur dear <3

and then there's ruth my god it's awkward, poor arthur for setting it all up like it's beautiful that he actually succeeded but he succeeded at the worst possible thing

'i don't want to' he sounds so small bless

'that explains much' 'what does it explain' 'why he can't hear me' vsjsjdjishs

now here's a character who actually makes martin not look like such a dickhead i hate kieran so much

'that would warn the experienced carolyn watcher' shhxchKjshsisnjsk

now i love this here because carolyn is clearly furious but she's not actually yelling at him, she's just explaining to him why she's angry h hh h h why can't she be my mum

'call me a cynical old bat' mates i adore carolyn + douglas banter

'tell you exactly where you can go ruth, and that's to... helsinki'

and the discussion of what helsinki sounds like, i find arthur's descriptions of everything so enchanting and then his comebacks to kieran <3

martin hun don't become a teacher you're so patronising <3

it's nice that martin's conflict over his insecurity here isn't with douglas, it's a nice change and i love how it lets them team up against a common enemy, it's something we haven't seen yet and indeed probably couldn't have happened in series 1

carolyn and ruth, ah, it's nice to see carolyn on the defense for a change like ruth so clearly has her rattled

'I always liked ian' 'i remember' i've spent way too much time thinking about carolyn + ruth + the sweetshop and maybe one day i'll write it but i just love that we're seeing carolyn's vulnerability outside of her control like in douz

'my story's even more remarkable than that' shut up martin omg and somehow kieran manages to top that level of insufferability

Arthur and douglas in the galley <3 and arthur's cake oh lord i've rarely imagined anything more disgusting in my life

'what is this strange leaky box!?' and also 'dooglaaas' go around my head so so much

and douglas and milo's interactions are so funny and also beautiful, and also douglas having arthur's back, oh god if i think about it too much i'll cry

and now the chaos begins! kieran decking martin is so funny, kyyAAAAAAA!

carolyn being so completely out of her depth is so beautiful and yea it makes me cry but it's really good on a character level like she is never ever speechless again except when ruth is beint nasty like this

IT'S! A! CAKE!!!!!! i love this i love how carolyn arthur goes it just shows how similar they are

'every day a new nugget of knowledge' i swear i say this at least every week and hardly anyone ever knows i'm referencing a cigaretty fishcake <3

carolyn being so genuine in thanks to arthur 😭😭😭😭

I believe douglas can turn on the northern lights i really think he has that power and then arthur being so disappointed </3 and then douglas having his back again

[simpingforthehunt]

Hello! I don’t know if anyone requested it but can you do a second part to the Dad!Jonah oneshot. I absolutely loved it.

Here’s the prompt: Jonah and the reader are in the hospital with the new baby or babies (it could be twins but it’s up to you, of course). Ruth takes their young daughter Mina to meet the new baby/babies at the hospital. Just all around cute interactions. I know it will be super cute and fluffy because you’re good at writing that. (I’m fine with any gender for the new baby/babies. If a boy then please name it Alexander or Alex and if a girl then please name it Abigail. I love those names.)

Thank you so much and have a good day. 💗

This was already requested and I will follow this prompt as best as I can with the idea I already had in my head (honestly it was fairly close to this)

As for the name, it is Jewish tradition to name your child after a deceased loved one. I imagined that Mina was the name of someone in the reader’s family, but for this fic I want to use a name from Jonah’s side of the family that was canonically stated. Seeing as the only one I can remember is Chava, that was/is the pre-planned name.

Sorry about that in regards to the name! It’s just that I imagine Ruth and Chava were close, and this to me would be the perfect way for Jonah to honour his Safta if she were still alive as she is in the fic.

[nxsmss]

7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 16, 24, 25, 37 (I think I know the answer haha), 47, 54, 57 (don’t be shy, show both), 74, 76, 82, 96, 113 (as a german, I know this is a heikle frage)

enjoy brudi 💛

danke brudi❤

7. how tall am I?

I'm not sure about 5,5 I think (168cm)

8. what do I miss right now?

cold weather, concerts

9. favourite color?

black, purple

10. do I have a crush?

drew

12. what am I listening to right now?

I feel like dancing - all time low

16. meaning behind my url?

nxsmss = anxious mess without the vowels

24. tattoos and piercings I have?

tattoo: '01 on my ankle

piercings: 4 lobe piercings on each side, helix on my right ear, tragus on my left ear

25. tattoos and piercings I want?

tattoos: nothing particular

piercings: conch, rook, industrial, and I always wanted a nostril piercing

37. if I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

drew haha, sebastian stan and a bunch of my moots

47. do I have any nicknames?

nope :(

54. my top 5 blogs?

I don't think I have top 5 blogs or top 5 moots. I basically love interacting with all of them. but some I have interacted quite a bit recently or that have been on my mind (whether I interacted with you a lot or not) are, you of course, @x-lulu @jjouterbanks @hernameisnoell @chloesapogue

57. what is my current desktop picture?

I have 2. my laptop and an additional desktop. and no I don't get shit done

74. dyed my hair?

yes, black, black/blue, dark purple

76. met someone famous?

jeff stinco walked past me and a bunch of other fans while we waited outside the venue for a simple plan concert

I was at a supernatural convention were I took a pic with matt cohen and my friend and I met ruth connell and briana buckmaster in an elevator

and a bunch of german youtubers back in like 2014

I think that's it

82. where do I want to live when older?

don't really care, tho I could imagine moving to hamburg

96. what does the most recent text that you sent say?

brudi nooo. ich würde ja sagen stell dir einfach vor es ist drew und ihr geht gerade Möbel shoppen weil ihr zusammen zieht aber die incest vibes wären da schon größer😂😂

do yourselves a favor and don't translate it into english

113. do you smile at strangers?

in my town, yes. when i go to a bigger city, no