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cleromancy · 1 year ago

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still thinking about mia!

in particular i found the deliberate and thoughtful way ga01 approached the concept of a plucky teen sidekick refreshing... because sidekicks are a staple of the genre, right, and moreover most of us *like* them, so how do we justify the "good guys" *having* them when we're also writing stuff with way more realism than the old stuff?

and to be honest i don't really need that when im reading, i can suspend my disbelief. but you have to commit to the bit when you're the one writing it, you have to believe it. and a lonely place of dying... it did ok for what it was and im extremely fond of it, but i also think it was already walking away from like... the fact that batman got robin killed, yk. it was walking away from what that meant. and like i said thats fine. if they never brought robin back i never would have gotten into comics in the first place, yknow?

but i think the exploration of some of the thorny concepts around mia sidekicking in ga is great because like. this is *emphatically* not an omelas situation. green arrow definitively does not "need" a speedy and it is also emphatically not speedys job to provide a counterbalance or whatever.

ok this got long. putting in a cut here

and both dinah and roy absolutely tear into ollie about his decision to let mia sidekick with him--and i feel like ive read a fair few kid/teen sidekick stories which have the kid wind up in danger (or whatever) regardless of the adult trying to discourage them, and the adult at that point figures if theyre going to sneak out/disobey/whathaveyou its better to do it where the adult can keep an eye on them. and there are times when this is presented like the adult literally cannot convince the child not to do those things, which. yknow. we understand how fiction works so we also know if the writer says the kiddo wont listen to any reason, that the adult just doesn't have the power over them to stop them, then thats what happened... but the implications about the power dynamic and the adults ability to set reasonable boundaries dont paint a *great* picture.

but GA doesn't do that... i would argue mia was being set up to be the 2nd speedy all the way back to dinah and roys conversation in that plane where they just learned ollie might be alive and cant stop bitching about him lol. and iirc this is within the first 6 issues. and dinah and roy are both throwing around unfair accusations at the time, but roy says smth to the effect of what do you want to bet he's already training her to replace me. and i don't think he really believed that but it obviously planted the idea in readers heads if it wasnt there already! but yknow after that, mia doesn't debut as speedy until ga 46, or thereabouts im not looking it up, several years later both IRL and in-universe (or well in-universe its almost 2 years. iirc.).

(i can't even imagine how it must have felt if youd been following that series the whole time *finally* seeing that enter speedy cover. id have been screaming my damn head off.)

anyway. i already talked about comparing and contrasting the man mia killed during her test run vs the jason and felipe situation but i also wanted to say that i think it was great that the whole conversation pretty much *opens* with that. like forget physical danger the kid might be in--what about the psychological toll? what about the choices hes putting her in the position to make?

despite ollie very much being the protagonist of the series and mia very much being a supporting character, the focus of the emotional impact is on her, and the focus of the *responsibility* is on him. (now compare and contrast batman with robin...... listen, i absolutely do not believe it wasn't set up as a deliberate contrast, ok.)

and you would naturally think that would mean she doesn't... get to be speedy. she doesn't get to be a hero. she doesn't get another chance. but then she gets her HIV+ diagnosis, and the focus for mias character turns specifically to *living* with HIV.

and i think that's what makes it clear, to me at least, that the whole... fighting crime thing is supposed to be a metaphor. at least on some level. its a power fantasy, its a metaphor, its about the *good guys winning.* heroes being heroes. and i think a lot of the discussions around representation have gotten so overblown for what they are, but--unironically--sometimes its really meaningful and important just to see yourself. and to believe that no matter what youve lived through, you can be good, you can be wanted, you can make a difference.

which is why mia gives her presentation in the auditorium about her diagnosis, and i feel like this was also a deliberate callback to roy "only you can prevent forest fires" harper and his anti-drug PSA. because roy decided, after snowbirds, he was going to go public about his addiction because he wanted to help other people going through the same thing he did, or prevent other people from going through it yk. and there are two incidents i can think of where, years down the line, he feels some regret over it because now hes just known as the heroin guy, the guy who used to do drugs. but i also don't think he would ever have chosen to do anything else. both speedys are actively choosing to bear that stigma openly in the hopes of reducing it, you know?

speaking of which! i thought it was a *fantastic* - and no doubt deliberate - contrast to how roys drug use was treated, to have mia only talk about it *once* (this is in the HIV+ issue. 45ish?) that she regularly did meth when she was on the streets, and its explicitly clear she did it to survive. and it never comes up again. there's no condemnation, there's no literal war on drugs propaganda here. (the first roy comic i ever read was the mini ntt one in the mandatory fucking D.A.R.E program in middle school, btw.) it was a fact of her life because her life was *fucking dangerous,* and meth helped keep her alive until she managed to find her way out of it!

so this is another concept mia becoming speedy explores--the fact that the people who should have kept her safe as a child did the opposite. mia has never been safe her entire life until moving in with ollie. and the people who hurt her left permanent damage in a physical way in the form of HIV. so now ga is exploring like... what it means to be safe. what it means to be mortal. what exactly is a childhood. and it doesn't dig *too* too deeply into these because its not that kind of comic book, its the kind of comic book where the good guys shoot glue arrows at bad guys and stick them to the floor. but it approaches it and sits you down with those questions and i mean, for me at least, even putting aside exactly how hype i was for mia to take on the mantle, it felt *right* that ollie would say yes.

and the next issue i think or the one after that (its the teen titans one! tim is there later). is the one where roy reams ollie out for this, they talk about it, roy lampshades the different... contexts of having a speedy. like its not like how it used to be. the bad guys are worse, its not safe enough for a kid anymore. and this is where ollie relays mias diagnosis (<- she had already decided to go public about it as i said before, so ollies not sharing information that isnt his to share here). and roys like that could have been me. its a good issue! i like what it does with what its doing.

and then some 20 issues later, once mia is reasonably well established as a superhero and a titan....... Enter Jason.

(🥰)

i have so much to say about this arc i love it so much. let me preface by saying none of this is a condemnation of jason, hes pretty much my favorite fictional character of all time. im not interested in wagging my finger at the guy styling himself as a supervillain at the time and going Naughty Jason! Thats Not How We Make Friends!, yk. im also not endorsing it, bla bla bla, whatever, this really aint about him right now. right now we're just talking about what he does for the story, the questions he poses about mia and sidekicks and shit.

god, where to fucking start.

i guess ill start with jasons "were not so different you and i" villain speech. and yknow at least on the surface level theres like. a certain join-me-be-my-robin element to it or like he's encouraging her to cross the line or whatever. but honestly, jason was less there because jason todd the fictional character wanted to be there, and more because winick as the writer thought it continued to explore the concept in an interesting way.

because we've talked about green arrows responsibility vis a vis letting her be a sidekick bc of the psychological impact of it, about the choices she's put in a position to make, about HIV and what it means to be a hero and safety. all of those things. and jason shows up to *demonstrate* that--

--it really is not fucking safe to do what they do.

and Jason is, i think, at his most terrifying here, and thats on purpose. it is *visceral*. it is so, so incredibly well done. and it throws ALL those questions of safety and responsibility and mortality and heroism and do-gooding into a new light because you really feel like, oh my god, her life is in danger.

tbh i think some of the reader anger at jason for this arc--and titans tower, just to a lesser degree because it wasnt NEARLY as good lol--is the fact that he *is* challenging us, the readers, to think about our beloved kid/teen sidekick trope. he brings back the element of realism that GA was drawing away from somewhat, the element of *real consequences.* and as a reader it is so much easier to just be mad at jason because well hes the villain of the story...... and ignore the fact that hes demonstrating--both by being the dead robin cautionary tale, and by being ~red hood, the scourge of the underworld~ lol--that if this is not something she's prepared to face, a possibility she's prepared for, then she shouldn't be wearing that uniform.

and that the person she relies on to protect her can't always be there to do it.

and, mini tangent, there's absolutely no way jason was trying to kill her here. he terrified her, he kicked her ass, but he didn't do any permanent damage and he didnt "lock her in" (<- real reading i saw once 🙄 try reading it again with your eyes next time genius) he stabbed his knife into her cape. if jason were being written by anyone else i would entertain the idea but it was winick, who knows exactly how smart and thorough jason is supposed to be *because he was the one who made him that way.* there's no doubt in my mind that jason was perched somewhere watcging to make sure she got out before the place went kablooey but you know what, in fairness, thats not on the page. BUT, like. the reason mia *thinks* jason was going to kill her--before she realizes he could have if hed wanted to, and purposely let her go--was because he wanted her to think that. he wanted to scare her and he wanted to warn her and he wanted to make her think.

really really love this arc.

anyway. i mentioned in my other post that winick tweaked mias backstory so she was also homeless like jason, which i sort of have mixed feelings about. in smiths version, her dad trafficks her and later she winds up as one of the "girlfriends" (euphemism for victims) of his associates. and that was ... not really the picture of child trafficking you usually see in comics, the more common real-life scenario rather than the sensationalized version of quote-unquote child prostitutes on street corners. but at the same time i think winick kept the most important part (the familial trafficking) and i also think he changed it in order to explore all the aforementioned topics in an interesting way. it doesn't feel like it was just an arbitrary change, or to make it more exciting or whatever. like he was exploring stuff with it, it was purposeful.

for example--going back to mia and meth. the more you read of winick the more you notice that intravenous drugs and illnesses associated with them (so including but not limited to HIV/AIDS) are something of a... recurring... motif, i guess? they're something he regularly comes back to explore. and thats interesting in the context of mia for a lot of reasons but well. when mia defensively says to ollie that she used meth, the reason she gives is they used it to stay awake on the streets. and i do think winick deliberately--and *effectively*--explored the pre-existing (and historical) parallels btwn batman and green arrow in a bunch of other ways, so i don't think im off base in saying the fact that *robin* 2.0 famously lived on the streets *probably* had something to do with the backstory tweak for speedy 2.0, particularly again bc of jasons "we're the same" villain speech. but also, like i said, she mostly used to stay awake(/alive), which is something of a harder sell if she hadn't been homeless, and also like i said, winick likes exploring drugs and wanted to write a hero living with HIV.

before i get into the comparisons with jason and mia, i also want to say that i think jason--who im constantly affectionately calling a revenant--is such an effective contrast for mia because the emphasis for mia! was always on living. it was always on healing. despite having a *distinctly* non-everykid origin story, mia absolutely embodies something i think was very characteristic of her generation of teen titans, or at the very least early days cassie and tim, which was this simultaneous like... they're normal kids, they're *relatable,* but they're also superheroic in determination, and resourcefulness, and they want this, and they know they can do it, so they will. and thats what its all about, man.

...actually i just ran out of steam, ill write out some thoughts on jason telling mia theyre the same later lol sorry. im toired!!!!

anyway mia is soooo good.

#dc #text #many thoughts head empty #meta #mia #mia text #mia dearden

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typewriter83 · 25 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/typewriter83/765179812572758016/girl-i-was-rewatxhing-a-gameplay-tonight-and-i-had?source=share

(this is so big I won't mind if you take too damn long to respond❤️ I understand you)

KDJDKSKKD WHAT? THAT'S SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PLOT OMG. I WOULD READ THAT EVEN WITH ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.

(but fuck yeah I agree, ellie would be such a good punk singer. Kind of emo girlie even. Have you checked maggie linderman? Her song"different" would kind of be something ellie would totally sing if she was a singer).

and omg I can see the vibes of the concept you're cooking in here. I can totally see both of them as "singers that got bad reputation for something" (🗣️I don't know what ellie did but I'm on her side🗣️), specially joel. On this, I can totally imagine that things to joel could have started to get bad in his life after he lost sarah in this universe too. And honestly sometimes paparazzi and interviewers can be so insensitive that it would be so joel to get his bad reputation also after fighting with so many of these people in the past if they asked about his past. Also, I would die to find what would their dynamic would be as singers if that story happened. Maybe when they start working together, their personalities can crush a bit because joel he was always used to being the lead singer in his band, giving orders and deciding things, but when he tries that with ellie thinking she would just listen, he soon finds out she has strong personality, doesn't really like to obbey and has a sense of criticism and leadership as much as him. Or maybe Joel has this boomer thought where he thinks this new generation of musicians are all amateurs and not good enough, and ellie is determined to make him realize he's wrong. But I can also see their personalities bonding so much when they really start to work on their album.

Omg have you listened to "exile" by taylor swift and Bon Iver? That would be so them coded wtf, I could totally picture them singing it wtfffffff (and bon iver's voice is so sexy and deep it reminds me of joel's👹)

So many things is reminding me of this concept you came up with actually. On the slutty side for example, there's this the weeknd song where he sings "we had sex on the studio" and well..👹that would be a scene worth reading sjjsjsj. On the soft side, there was this video on ig where a girl from a band was playing guitar and singing but her guitar's strap fell and she had to hold it, but her drummer came to rescue, fixed for her and he stroked her hair before going back and everyone in the audience was like "awww" and I WISH I COULD FIND THIS VIDEO AGAIN because that would be so them. Imagine if joel did this on a tour, but instead of stroking her hair he kisses her forehead😭 imagine if they also sing some songs looking at eachother like they're talking in form of music, like it's just them on the stage, OR OR if ellie convinces joel to be more in touch with being online, and his first few posts on social media is hanging out with her or posting a picture of her being distracted, and ellie gets all soft because how can she explain to this old man he's basically being her fan account😭? And oh my god Joel is a guardog in every fic, imagine if a paparazzi crosses some boundery with ellie and joel does something about it, but she contains him from doing more because he could get in trouble with media for it. Urgh I can totally see the controversy they would be, though. A lot of people would ship them but it could also get a bad reputation for joel for other reasons.

Hello nonnie cub - is this Miss Undercover or do we have another cub in our den who loves analyzing our fandom. Either way, I’m here for it!

First of all, thank you. I’m rather fond of that story - it’s about 35-40k in length right now. I have lots of ideas for it, but pulling it together has proven difficult when there are two stubborn fictional characters constantly screaming for attention - they know who they are and they need to sit down. 😏

If I were to write this in the TLOU universe, Joel would be on the far side of middle age, approaching or over 50, with a drinking problem, but trying to get sober. He’s been known to get aggressive with paparazzi. Ellie would be a punk rock princess with a serious attitude problem - the label won’t drop her because she’s so fucking talented, writes her own music, has been plucking guitars since she was a child - but she goes through producers like tissues and she’s had more lawsuits filed against her for assaulting paparazzi than the studio cares to acknowledge.

Their dynamic would be volatile at first - he can’t stand her music, thinks she’s too loud and chaotic. He’s more laidback, classic rock style, and Ellie calls him an old man - while she follows him around like a lost puppy. He’s gruff and mean, but he gives it to her straight, he doesn’t push her away like everyone else does - she sticks like glue.

I think Ellie would torment him with social media - especially old school instagram, trying to make photos artistic and flattering. She takes lots of photos of him hidden in shadows, dramatic and striking and he grumbles a lot but doesn’t ask for her to take them down. She starts taking selfies of them together - which of course ignites all sorts of speculation and paparazzi problems. Imagine Joel pushing them aside while they get in Ellie’s face. Ellie’s got fists swinging and eventually Joel grabs her and pops her feisty ass over his shoulder - lots of photos of her screaming as he carries her off.

Haha, stop. I have 3 stories going at once. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever sit down and revisit this original story. But this was fun

🫶🏻

#mama bear speaks #ask away!#joellie #ellie x joel #joel x ellie

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manuscripts-dontburn · 5 months ago

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The Weather Woman

Author: Sally Gardner

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★☆

The book description might easily fool a reader into thinking this is a magical realism story, but though the main character does possess a curious gift of being able to foretell the weather, it falls better into the historical romance sprinkled with found family and a bunch of trouble category. Low on action but beautifully written. I believe subjective enjoyment depends a lot on whether or not you grow to love the characters. If you do not, then you shall probably be bored, but if you grow fond of them, then the book feels like sitting around a cosy table with the most pleasant company.

Maximilian and Carlota: Europe's Last Empire in Mexico

Author: Mary Margaret McAllen Amberson

First published: 2014

Rating: ★★★★☆

The Mexican Empire was nothing but a colonial attempt by France to exploit yet another nation. they cleverly chose a Habsburg prince and his young wife to rule, both with the right amount of ambition, desire to prove themselves, good but completely misled intentions and a great deal of naivety. it was a recipe for national awakening on one hand and a human tragedy on the other. This is a book that very logically and succinctly presents the uneasy and constantly shifting conflict, remains admirably objective and definitely stands as a dignified portrait of its protagonists. I only thought it a pity that very little time was given to the life of Maximilian and Charlotte before they became ensnared in the French scheming. there is hardly any time spent on their childhood and formative years or even their courtship.

Song of the Huntress

Author: Lucy Holland

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★★☆

I loved Lucy Holland´s first offering in Sistersong and Song of the Huntress is another solid book. Different from most myth retellings with its focus. It is a book that WILL take a lot of time to get through, it does not rush you forward and I imagine there will be people who will find it boring because of it. It IS slow. But if you appreciate good writing and complex relationships in your historical fantasy, you might want to give this one a try.

Schindler's List

Author: Thomas Keneally

First published: 1982

Rating: ★★★★☆

Because the movie that came out of this book is just so famous and memorable, it would be easy to assume one needs not to read this book. And it would be true. But you still might want to do just that, because it corrects some of the myths and takes some of the shine off of Oscar Schindler. The same Schindler, who will still stand as one of the heroes of WW2, even with his halo a little crooked. What this book does NOT need, though, is the "novel" epithet, since it does not really hold any literary value. It should have stayed non-fiction, pure and simple, especially since the author claims none of the scenes in it are made up.

House of Salt and Sorrows

Author: Erin A. Craig

First published: 2019

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

It was very readable, with an interesting premise, but in the end, I felt it did not fit all well together. The creepy elements got their ass kicked by a half-cooked romance. I was also constantly confused about how this world looked, and in what time period is it rooted. I mean I went from imagining everything from the Middle Ages to the 1920s (there is a FOX TROT mentioned TWICE), but could never settle on anything and it kept bugging me throughout. As a retelling of the 12 dancing princesses, it is fine, but I would rather reach for the Wildwood Dancing instead.

Learned by Heart

Author: Emma Donoghue

First published: 2023

Rating: ★★��★☆

There is something exceptionally captivating about Emma Donoghue´s writing that I did not even mind the lack of plot. This is a very intimate portrait of a sapphic teenage romance in a time when such a thing did not even register in the common thought. And though slow and even mundane, I loved reading it.

Hex

Author: Jenni Fagan

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★★

A short book that packs a hard, painful punch. A cry of desperation and defiance from the darkness.

Danubia: A Personal History of Habsburg Europe

Author: Simon Winder

First published: 2013

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I picked this book up mostly because I am always curious about how the Czechs and their history are viewed from an outsider´s perspective. I definitely appreciated the obvious enthusiasm the author displayed for central Europe, but in the end, I am confused as to what he was trying to achieve. a collection of cherry-picked information, that grows steadily classical music-heavy as it progresses, it is not uninteresting but can drag. Some of the views presented I found also rather uncomfortable, especially the occasional hinting that the Czech (and other nations) fight for preserving our language and rights should have been solved by a compromise which would, quite frankly, have meant wiping out the said language and rights in the long run. I personally view the Austrian Empire as something that was worth saving in some shape and form, but that does not change the facts of its long history of oppression of non-German speaking nations that went along with more enlightened decisions on their behalf.

The Yellow Wallpaper / Herland

Author: Charlotte Perkins Gilman

First published: 1915

Rating: ★★★★☆

While The Yellow Wallpaper is short and in a terrifying simplicity realistic, Herland has a much slower pace, includes what I might call fantasy elements and more than a story it really stands as a thinking commentary on society (arguably we could find flaws in the Gilman´s female Utopia, but then again she does not really claim that Herland is paradise and the women there clearly accept changes and are open to new ideas). Interestingly, it was originally published in the 1910s, but the attitude of the men in the story (looking at you especially, Terry) could be copied from the men today. I was a bit disappointed by the abrupt ending, which definitely left me wondering about what happened next. Both of these works still have merit as feminist classics.

Inconvenient People: Lunacy, Liberty and the Mad-Doctors in England

Author: Sarah Wide

First published: 2012

Rating: ★★★★★

I found this book extremely interesting, mostly because Sarah Wise understands the need to insert people into history. What could have been a very dry and facts-heavy study she turned into a compelling narrative in which everyone gets their place and you can sympathize (and maybe judge a bit). I learned a lot from this.

Island Queen

Author: Vanessa Riley

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Based on a true story of a former slave who managed to raise herself to a free and prosperous woman, Island Queen is a solid piece of historical fiction that needed a little trimming IMO. The book is almost 600 pages long and because the focus is heavily and almost exclusively on Dorothy´s relationships with men and her children, it moves very slowly. Even large events like rebellions are mere background canvases to familial planning and aspirations. (I was also a bit annoyed at the fact Dorothy keeps jumping among the same guys the whole book.) That said, if you are in it for the intimate aspects and thought process, this might be a good book for you.

#booklr #wrap up #June 2024 #books #I COUNT THE YELLOW WALLPAPER AND HERLAND AS TWO BOOKS WHEN IT COMES TO MY NEXT BOOHAUL!!!

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the-priestess-of-dawn · 3 months ago

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One character from your favorite current three fictional media have been turned into cats that one character from a fourth piece of fiction now has to baby-sit for a day. What happens and how clawed up are they by the end? (Or do they get perfect angel cats and cry in relief?)

Lol I'm suddenly struggling to remember what media I even like outside of Fire Emblem, but okay... Pokemon is foundational to my life so we'll go with that... And then... alright, I'm perhaps streching the term "favorite" a bit here, but I have a certain Vision so I'm going to use Hustle Cat (a visual novel dating sim that I've written a fic for) and uh... Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the 1996 TV series. My local tv stations rerun the episodes a lot and I've become very fond of it. Also, listen. The VISION.)

So obviously I'm not making a crossover without involving my beloved Grima Fire Emblem, so they're definitely becoming a cat. Mishap travelling through space and time. Better than amnesia, but you wouldn't know it from all the furious complaining.

From Pokemon I'm cat-ifying Cyrus (another beloved character. Yes I have a type. Hate to see him get so maligned when he literally has a crobat on his team and that whole subplot with rotom). I'm thinking distortion world mishap.

Now for Hustle Cat... Alright this is kind of major spoilers actually, but you have to know the spoilers to know why I'm picking Nacht. So basically Nacht is the villain and he's obsessed with his ex, Graves, and unfortunately he expresses this by being a complete bastard whose constantly threatening Graves and everyone he cares about. I mean, it's bad. It's "you guys need to get restaining orders and never talk to each other again" bad. Except they both rather clearly do still care about each other despite how absolutely toxic all of their interactions have become, and Graves won't actually do anything serious to stop Nacht EXCEPT in the route where he falls in love with the game's MC (i.e. he actually moved on). In that route, he curses Nacht to turn into a cat (but even then it's only when he's within a certain distance of where Graves and his coven live, so like... he STILL doesn't want to seriously harm Nacht, obviously). Anyway, since magic exists in this world we can kind of just make up some reason for Nacht to get thrown into another world, but at the very least we can blame him for getting the others mixed up with the cat curse.

And so then we bring in Sabrina the Teenage Witch. And the character I'm forcing to take care of the others is Harvey Kinkle. He's a mortal but he does end up becoming aware of magic and the fact that Sabrina is a witch. Accordingly, he's also aware that Sabrina's cat is actually a person (Salem Saberhagen, who once tried to take over the world and was turned into a cat as punishment). He and Salem get along quite well, so I think it would be fun to give him a bunch of other cat-ified villains to babysit for a day. I can imagine an episode where Sabrina tries to help get the others back to normal and back to their own worlds, and while she's off doing that, we get to see Harvey is getting up to all kinds of comedy with the cats as Grima insists he be their servant, Nacht (who, it should be noted, has a thick Southern accent) schemes to get back at his ex, and Cyrus... Well, Cyrus would be the most calm, but I think Salem would drag him into some zany plot that backfires tremendously.

... Harvey is definitely not getting out of this situation without injury. But honestly, he's had worse asdfghjkl

#a crossover that appeals only to me i'm sure #but do you see it? do you get the Vision?#ask

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la-nom-nom · 5 months ago

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I know earlier I’ve stated in the past I wouldn’t be talking about Sonic 06 until I play it, but after thinking about it and people criticize stuff they haven’t even played, read, or watched anyway, I might as well get it off my chest. I’ll probably play 06 if I get the chance.

First, I just want to be honest about SonElise. I don’t hate it, I don’t really hate any ship hating on fiction is a waste , no way is it beastiality. I can see why it wins people over. However something about it rubs me the wrong way, and probably it’s more related to 06 story than the ship itself. Ngl I feel bad for not going “aw cute I like it” and even tried to like it. :/ Still, it’s not even the what I dislike the most about 06’s story.

Might as well admit that I’m not the biggest fan of Blaze, even as a kid playing Rush, she just didn’t get me hyped. Nothing wrong with her, she just isn’t my top favorites like many others. If I were a bigger fan of Blaze, I honestly would be pissed at her 06 portrayal. I actually think the game made her OOC. Even though it’s canon that she’s the same Blaze from the different dimension, I still can’t imagine her standing by not being suspicious of Mephelis. Funny how her inclusion gripes me more than what they did with Silver, even though I’m not too fond of that too. I feel he has a similar situation with Blaze. He just gets gullible when it came to Mephelis, who gives off bad vibes once you see him. Speaking of which…

Ooh boy, I can’t help but feel that the love for Mephilis fills the dream of many fan of the edgy early-mid 2000s style. Plus I can’t help but feel he’s mainly liked because of is involvement with Shadow, who, alongside Silver, feel like the main characters more than who the game title says. The fact it was an anniversary game adds salt to the wound. Had it been another character that wasn’t Shadow in that same position, I wonder had the outcome of fans’ praise would be the same? This isn’t confirmed, just a feeling, but I wonder if the main reason Shadow got the most invested was because of the not so great received previous game starring him. If that was the case, I’ll give it to Sega that they succeeded having a better outcome for the character, but at what cost?

Now, to the part that really irritated me the most, if not my least favorite moment in the game universe of Sonic. When Mephiles kills Sonic. WTFH? How would Mephiles know that killing Sonic would make Elise(I did feel bad for her) cry?! I really think it’s not questioned as much because WE the audience know the whole story. That doesn’t change though that up until that moment he and Sonic NEVER crossed paths. I won’t ever understand how the kiss gets way more hate than that.

Mephiles is the Chris Thorndyke of the game universe; fails the aimed intention, characters have to bend over for the one to get their (undeserved) cake, and a very uninspired design. Say all you want about the Deadly Six and Infinite, but they had higher edge.

The things that did come out of 06 I did like was Elise’s addition, Sonic’s statement of nothing stops until you take action, Amy’s portrayal, heck the foils of the SonAmy and SonElise dynamic interesting, the bittersweet but good message at the end.

Do I think Sonic 06 is misunderstood? As a story, no. I actually think it deserves criticism but not the hate that dragged on for so long.

#opinion #thoughts #not reblog #this isn’t just Sonic 06 #funny how the post 2010 games get sh*t upon but then the earlier games get touted as better but have their fair share of flaws #still to each their own

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awynter · 2 months ago

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“You’d keep me in suspense about such a thing after I revealed my ankles and toes to you? I didn’t take you for such a petty man, Benjamin Tallmadge.” She hid a smile behind her hand, even though she knew her face was hidden from view. It was much easier to be brave when she wasn't face-to-face with him, so Anne let the jibes flow freely while she could. It felt nice to be able to fall back into their routine of banter, especially after their last meeting had ended so abruptly.

She listened as he trudged out of the water and onto shore. She practically held her breath, closing her eyes to imagine what order he might be dressing in. Would he put his breeches on first, or his shirt? Would he pull his hair up, or let it fall around his face? She shook the thought away, trying to rid her mind of the mental imagery of his undressed body. When he gave her the permission to turn around, Anne waited a moment, letting her heart steady itself before she dared to face him again.

“Is that so?" Hugging her arms around herself, she smirked and shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I’ll be sure to designate my dismembered head to you in my will.”

As lighthearted as the morbid comment was, Anne couldn't help but worry that losing her head was an entirely real possibility. Her very own Henry would find her at some point, and Anne wouldn't put it past George to order a beheading for her crime. He had always bore a flair for the dramatics. English men had that in common, it seemed.

“Tell that to Frances. She’s always rather intent on making me portray Anne Boleyn. And, knowing our luck, she’d assign you the role of my adoring husband.” Snorting, Anne looked away to hide the blush on her cheeks. While she certainly wouldn't mind being Ben's wife--on stage, of course-- she wasn't sure she wanted to assign herself to the same fate as her character. If she were to take on another life on stage or anywhere else, Anne would've much preferred a happy ending.

Anne had taught the girls about Henry VIII and his poor wives the first winter she'd been employed at the Pleinsworth house. Her lessons had been the very thing that had spurred an inspirational spark in Harriet and, ever since, Anne was the only one 'allowed' to play Boleyn. Both Harriet and Frances insisted it was because of the shared name, and Elizabeth often joked that Anne should be grateful her name wasn't Catherine.

When allowed her gaze to fall back onto him, it was just as he brushed a strand of hair out of his face and her stomach flip-flopped. Had he gotten more handsome in a mere two weeks? It was impossible. It was ridiculous. Charlotte had always said that absence made the heart grow fonder, but she couldn't imagine her heart could become any more fond of him. She didn't think her heart had that much space to lend.

"And what sort of idea would that be exactly?" She hummed, tilting her head to peer at him, a hint of a smile on her lips. "As far as I know, some people have already gotten the wrong idea. We had a play written about us, after all. About our love. Not many people can claim such a thing." Anne swallowed and fumbled to correct herself. "About the Fairy Princess and the Frog Prince's love, I mean. Not ours... Nevermind." Biting her lip, she wracked her brain for a change of subject, anything to pull her mind away from the topic of their love, real or fictional.

"Do you mind me asking how exactly you managed to get into this predicament in the first place? I saw Mister Bridgerton take your clothes, but... that doesn't explain why you were without them in the first place." Quirking an eyebrow, she bit back a smirk. "Care to explain yourself, Mister Tallmadge?"

The moment that all-too-familiar glint entered Anne's eyes, Benjamin realized she was about to make a razor-sharp quip. Sure enough, with a coy little smirk, she asked, "You don't normally swim, or you don't normally swim in such a bold fashion?"

Benjamin's laughter was husky with embarrassment. "Perhaps I should leave you in suspense," he deflected. "After all, what sort of charm would I have if you knew everything there is to know about me?"

Anne hummed. "So, I suppose this means I'm not invited to join you?"

Benjamin's smile instantly wiped clean. Although he knew she was teasing him -- surely, that was all? -- he still felt a strong, fiery lurch in his stomach that made him swallow low in his throat.

Mercifully, Anne turned and promised to stand guard. Had she kept quiet a moment longer, he feared what he might have proposed...

Exhaling once she was safely hidden from view, Benjamin rose and started wading for the shore. Despite there being no immediate danger of being seen, he felt utterly mortified and self-conscious as the pleasant afternoon air touched his bare skin. Naturally, he trusted that Anne would keep her word -- she was a lady -- but a small part of him feared she might chance a peek over her shoulder while he was at his most vulnerable.

Blushing furiously at the thought, Benjamin quickly splashed free of the water and grabbed his clothes, shaking with nerves as he quickly vaulted his shirt over his head. Due to the lengthy span of fabric, his indecency was almost instantly covered, and he breathed a little easier while tending to his breeches.

His stockings and shoes, though a necessary part of his ensemble, remained on the bank since the idea of traipsing about with wet garments -- or rather, even wetter than what he presently wore -- seemed utterly abhorrent.

"You can look now," Benjamin called over to Anne, though his voice was small. He managed a smile at her quip about Frances' plays.

"If this is a common happenstance for you, I should discourage you from reading The Shepherd, the Unicorn, and Henry VIII. As marvelous a story as it is, I am rather fond of my head."

Chuckling, he agreed, "You have quite a pretty head, so I'd hate to see it dismembered from your lovely shoulders -- if that's not too morbid a thing to say, of course."

Not quite the most endearing of compliments, he wryly thought.

Brushing back a soaked tendril of his hair, Benjamin tromped up along the bank to join her, squinting against the bright afternoon sun as he teased, "You know, you and I really need to stop meeting like this. Two instances of becoming drenched in a span of two or so weeks -- people might start to get the wrong idea."

He wasn't sure how he could tease her, all things considered, and catching her eye, his pulse wobbled before he looked away again, recalling how the last time he'd seen her so close, she'd been pressed up against him in a clashing of mouths, and a tugging of garments.

#honorhearted #long post

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cheemken · 1 year ago

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along with bw and b2w2, what other pokemon games do you love and which ones are your least favorite

Unova and Hoenn and Johto games my absolute fucking beloved

Anyways under the cut bc it's really just me rambling abt stuff hahaha

Your honour hckdndk Emerald was legit the first pokemon game I ever saw fr, and Treecko was the first starter Mon I saw too, but when I got my phone and downloaded my first pkmn game, I didn't know Emerald at that time and the thing that shows up most was FireRed and I thought that was it so like imagine my confusion when I was going through the starters and I didn't see Treecko anywhere and the vibes are like, different lmfao

But when I discovered RSE man ofc I downloaded all three of em, I finally found Treecko hahah and like, when I saw the other starters they were so goddamn cool man the Hoenn starters are peak fr, all three of em were so fuckin dope and I really wanted to choose Treecko ofc bc he was the one I was looking for all these years, but then I saw Mudkip and yeah the rest was history hahah

Also dyk, I encountered my first ever shiny in Sapphire hahah it was a shiny Shroomish, unfortunately, I was out of pokeballs so I didn't get to catch it ;w;

But yeah y'know, until now I still wish I could play ORAS, I have a tab now y'know I can dl Citra, but like,, it's still lag as shit, I tried it on X so yeah owo. Ah well hey, maybe one day hahah either way, RSE be dope af, it's honestly so so homey for me idk why, it's just,, there's smth abt it that feels more at home than any other pkmn game, even Unova, like,, the music for Littleroot Town would get me man chdmdb hahah but maybe bc it's like a tropical region, and I live in a tropical country so hey, it's the sense of familiarity ig hahah

And then the Johto games, Crystal was the first GBC game I played and the first gen two game I played and it was so cool man, seeing the old sprites, seeing them move a bit, how cool Typhlosion was, having to battle Red for the first time hahah was even dope when I found out Lance became Champion, and while I'm not very fond of Kanto, it was cool that the games let us visit another region, that was the dopest experience honestly hahah

And like, I was curious tho bc I wanna know what I'd get when I completed the pokedex there, granted I never completed the dex prior to that, so busted out the cheats bc I really wanted to find out, and like,,, nothing owo. But hey ig, guess Crystal gets that point of being the first game where I completed the dex albeit cheated hahaha

Then I found out abt HeartGold and my guy let me tell ya my soul fucking ascended when I discovered my pkmn can follow me around man like that was dope as all fuck my Typhlosion back then was so goddamn cool jcmdndnd such a shame that mechanic wasn't in gen 5 anymore, it would've been dope plus story wise it would've made more sense if it was itroduced or was still around in the BW games

And ofc, I was an og Unova stan hahaha I think at this point we all know I'd throw hands for the gen five games lmfao it's just cool as fuck man like,, idk it really is the peak of pkmn for me, like yeah there are some cool games now like PLA and ScVi and all that but like,, BW/BW2 are just the dopest for me hahah like it legitimately set the standards for me I'm ngl, I mean c'mon, the story was amazing, there's so much going on, the league actually did something instead of just vibing around, like it's so fucking dope man it actually made me care abt all the characters in it bc they show what they're like outside being gym leaders, they interact with each other, the game shows us abt their friendship and how they're all willing to help each other and the region out like to honour this is the game ever for real I can never get enough of the Unova games man

Also real shit, N being my trans awakening lmfaooooo you don't understand how much I wanted to look like N back then I thought it was just young me having a fictional crush but no I deadass liked his whole ass aesthetic I wanted to be like him and here we fucking are owo

Anyways my least fave of the pkmn gamesss

I honestly don't vibe w the Kanto and Sinnoh games lmfao

Idk man, the Kanto games are just boring for me and the Sinnoh games dont appeal to me much, like it really took me a while and a whole lot of coaxing for me to actually finish Platinum bc half way through I just wanted to stop bc it really wasn't that fun of an experience for me

Idk ig it's the fact both games are kinda,, over hyped?? Like, a lot of peeps still think the gen one/Kanto games are the best and then there's the people who like Sinnoh but let's be real most of them just kinda favour it for Cynthia. Honestly at this point I see Cynthia and Red kinda like Sans from Undertale, overrated and almost everywhere, the fandom hold them in such high regards that they just kinda ignore other characs or everything just kinda,, revolves around em? Idk, but, majority of the stuff I see are like that so hey y'know take this w a grain of salt hahah

And like, not that I hate those characs ofc, just that I don't see Red as a "legendary" trainer, and I honestly don't see the hype in Cynthia's fight, it,, it really wasn't that hard for me idk but hey

But ig it's also the fact that Kanto didn't give me much and Sinnoh was slow as shit even w the fast forward on in my emulator like my guy it's smth else💀 that plus the tons and tons of HMs you need to get through the game man it broke me o w o

But y'know, that's just me, if you like these games then hey, you have fun and enjoy playing em, those games are just not my cup of tea hahaha

#saw on the net once that someone was trying to make an emerald ds hack and like #it got me hyped man bc ofc bcmsbd #i can play all my faves in just one emulator #but like.. the creator of that hack hasnt updated in a while so like.. yeah ;w;#we couldve had it all cndmnxmd #anyways #johto hoenn and unova supremacy #my top three hahaha #ofc again its my preference and hey you lot have your own preferences too hahah #saying that again bc i know how the internet people can get lmao #but anyways yeah hahaha #this really got me to at least try make a trainer sona now man i really wanna redo my trainer sona cbmsns hahah #an ask and an answer #anon #pokemon #long post #edit: had to put it under read more bc yeah its like.. a long post i just realized hahah #its tiring having to scroll past it cbmdnd hahaha

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ilikereadingactually · 2 years ago

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Junior Miles and the Junkman

Junior Miles and the Junkman by Kevin Carey

i want to start by saying that every book has its readers and i think this is a lovely book for someone. i can imagine kids in the target age group who would like it, and i can imagine some adults who would like it too. that said, this one was not for me, in spite of the very charming cover.

it's set in an unspecified non-contemporary time period that seems like it should maybe be the 80s based on the ages of some of the adults and what events they reference (the one i remember offhand is Woodstock), but it frequently feels and sounds like it's happening longer ago. without any specifics to really tie the plot to the time it's in, this makes it feel more like nostalgia to me than historical fiction (i know, it also makes me feel old to think about the 80s as "historical"). the folksy-ness will definitely be charming to some! for me that kind of nostalgia setting often produces language that was common "back then" but ranges from uncomfortable to slur now, without fully addressing the issues outdated language raises. this book only has a few of those, but they stood out to me.

on the positive side, it's very readable in spite of not being to my taste. the writing is simple and the plot follows story beats that are common enough to be entirely predictable to an adult who has a lot of experience with books and movies, but that's not a problem for kids in the middle grade age range (8-12), who have much less experience and are still learning how stories work. there's an inspirational father whose death leaves the family in debt, and the junk art statue he leaves behind that might come to life or might be an artifact of a child's grief; there's the best friend who joins in adventures, the cute girl at school, the ringleader of the bullies, the cartoon villain businessman who wants to buy the junkyard. these are all still new tropes to a child reader, and so more exciting.

the highlights for me were the other adults who step in on behalf of Junior, the main character: his father's longtime friend Peck, and the sculptor Elvin, both of whom are incredibly kind, and neither of whom, refreshingly, are a love interest for Junior's grieving mother (who i think is never given a name other than Mama or Mrs. Miles??). i'm always here for stories about adults being friends, creating support systems, and supporting children!

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley courtesy of NetGalley!

try this if you: dig nostalgia and inspirational stories or know a kid in the 8-12 range who digs those, want a quick and light read, or have a fondness for junkyards and found object art (or loved The Iron Giant).

some lines i really liked: teaching the junkman to play kick the can

I stepped forward and kicked the can clean over the tire pile. Mr. Miles looked at me like he didn’t know what to do.

“It’s like winning a game,” I said. “You throw your hands in the air.” I held my arms high, like a referee signaling a touchdown. “And you yell IT’S GOOD!”

“It’s good,” he said.

“Yell,” I said. “Loud.”

“IT’S GOOD!” Mr. Miles yelled. It was strange to hear that raspy voice get louder.

I gathered up the cans and put them near him. He planted his finger on another one and I kicked it, and we both yelled with arms in the air, “It’s good!”

He grabbed another one and put it down and I heard him say,” Junior Miles can win with this.”

Mr. Miles kept holding and I kept kicking and announcing, and each time I kicked one through we celebrated, our arms raised high in the air. Once I heard him yell, “Junior has won the game!”

pub date: September 26, 2023!

#books and reading #middle grade #children's literature #junior miles and the junkman #kevin carey #book reviews #bookblr

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eponymoussquared · 2 years ago

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Escape from the Plot Hole: Part 3

Hello again, hypothetical viewers! Back with another part here. It picks up exactly where the last one left off, so it'll seem pretty abrupt if you haven't read from there. Sorry! ================================================

One, nobody else seemed to notice the title screen ripped out of a cheesy flick. He could see two of the counselors outside the cabin door, leaning close to each other and seemingly flirting-occasionally pointing at him and laughing. Two, there was nothing to be projecting the image on, it was just floating in the air. The music he’d been hearing, which still hadn’t stopped, swelled and became more dramatic and loud, making his ears hurt. Jonah took a deep breath in, and out.

There were about three possibilities he could think of here. The first was that he was hallucinating. This was possible, but ultimately unhelpful—if he saw things that weren’t real, he wouldn’t be able to interact with reality regardless, even if he knew it wasn’t real. The second was that he was dreaming, in which case it still wouldn’t matter what he did. It would also explain his memories not making much sense. Just in case, he tried pinching himself-it stung, alright, but no luck otherwise.

That left the third option, which was that he was in a horror movie, and judging from a title as strikingly insensitive as ‘DEATH CAMP’, it wasn’t a very good one. Those thoughts abruptly upended themselves as Jonah realized something else— the weird, out of place comments of the counselors earlier. Why would they call out his race? Surely that didn’t have anything to do with the situation. Unless… Jonah almost stumbled back as he realized that, in all likelihood, he was the token black character in a horror film, which tended to be a fatal condition. He could see it already, they’d given some forced exposition about him being a little crazy. The perfect excuse for him to do something stupid and die. The dream theory seemed a bit more likely now, Jonah always had a fondness for those horrible movies that seemed to truly believe they were going to be taken seriously instead of laughed at. And yet, this seemed like a lot of setup to be a product of his unconscious imagination, and it felt too real. He could feel the wind on his skin, smell the grass and dirt, hear the rustling leaves— and the music, of course. Additionally, he didn’t really want to think about the implications that he was a fictional character.

Thankfully, a distraction appeared in the form of the credits ending, and it suddenly shifted to night. Things didn’t speed up or blur, it was just suddenly dark. He could still see from the light of the moon, but that was it. That made his mind up-even if this was a dream, he didn’t want to dream about being killed, and being alone in the night during a horror movie is how you get killed immediately. As he walked towards the cabin, however, the music started to swell, and he heard the leaves rustle. Normally he might have been a bit more logical, but he was already a little freaked out, so he just bolted for the door. However, despite him being a decent runner, the door still seemed far away. In fact, he could almost see it getting farther. Just then, he heard footsteps behind him. A burst of fear-induced energy surged through him, and he finally made it to the door, shutting it behind him with a deafening thud. Before locking it, he glanced around the room quickly to make sure it was empty, and saw only unoccupied bunk beds and a table. He locked the door, and sat down, breathing a sigh of relief. Except the music was still swelling, slowly getting louder and louder and louder until- BOOM.

#One Level Down #writing #I'm only just realizing how weird this is to read broken up #its a short-ish story so there aren't really that many good break points #woops

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torchickentacos · 2 years ago

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I've never understood Drew snapping in that one scene. Could you try to explain it? You seem to get him well

First off, hello and thank you! I don't know that I get him as much as I just like to poke around his brain and emotions and just don't shut up about him tbh? I see a fucked up fictional guy and explore his emotional issues like a corn maze. See also: Zuko, Clive from PL, BOTW Zelda who I'm counting as a fucked up fictional guy here, et cetera. So anon, I went back and watched that episode, and here are my thoughts. I’m keeping it as close to canon as I can here, though if you’re on my blog you’re likely looking for the ship side of it too. I will touch on that since I do think it’s canonically interwoven with this scene, but I’m trying to mostly focus on Drew as his own character. I do love shipping but more than that I think AG has made characters that stand well on their own, so I did take that into account though he is, in canon, somewhat inextractible from May since their stories are very deliberately playing off of one another. Anyways, let's go, feel free to disagree with me, I'm just some random person with opinions that people trust to go to for information for some reason. And I love it, though I'm not sure what I did to deserve it.

On the surface, it appears that Drew is just unhappy with Absol’s performance. I think we all know it’s not just that, though-but what exactly IS it? I have a few theories, since in the english dub, at least, it’s not clear on the surface level.

One, and probably the most popular theory I’ve seen back in ye olde pokemon forum days if we’re to not take the explanation of ‘absol did bad’ at face value, is that the stress got to him and she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, not helped by them likely having to face off. Which, sure, whatever- but Drew isn’t the type of person to let contest stress get to him. He’s about perfected that cool facade, though we are really seeing the cracks in the surface here. I think it’s fairly surface-level to read it as just competitive energy getting to him.

Theory two, I’ve seen people say it’s him getting freaked out and realizing how much of a threat May really is, and this is the moment where he takes her seriously. I think this may play into it a bit, but I do think he took her seriously before this point. This comes after Who What When Where Wynaut (WWWWW) and Spontaneous Combusken, both episodes where she challenges him or is neck-and-neck in terms of banter and conversation. Especially Spontaneous Combusken-in that episode, she’s so good at countering his remarks that he actually chickens out of the conversation (cue “Drew is such a weenie” from Max). Not to mention that in WWWWW she literally saves his ass from death via drowning.I think after that you kind of have to take someone seriously. So, I do think her being a serious rival that he sees as an equal plays into it, but I would not say this was the single defining event where that comes to the surface. However, evidence to support this is here- Solidad says May’s performance in the first round ‘really shook him’, and I do think that plays into it.

Theory three, the one I find the most interesting. I think that there’s a possibility that Drew is in his head about their rivalry and how that interacts and counteracts with his other feelings for her. Because how do you balance a delicate friendship, a rivalry, and romantic feelings? Not easily, I imagine, and I think Drew bottled up a lot of that and it hit a peak here and spilled out. First, we have him and May in a definite shift at this point. He’s still kind of arrogant, but it’s toned down and they are friends at this point. At the very least, he’s fond of her (source: that frame from WWWWW where he's just looking at her softly, as he does, and tumblr is back to not letting me insert images).

Actually, scratch that- at this point, it is solid canon he has a crush on her. Solidad does her ‘therapist breaking hipaa privacy laws’ thing and tells may, quote, “he has feelings for you”. Now, May, along with most advanceshippers (love you guys-not an attack lol), seem to assume that the word ‘feelings’ here isn’t super heavy. I put that down to her being dense though because the phrase ‘feelings for you’ is fairly cut and dry. So, canon-at this point, he likes her romantically, and he’s going to have to face her in the grand festival. I think this is a moment where he realizes those two things may be hard to balance in the future. I think he’s got a lot of anxiety about his relationship with May at the moment, whatever the fuck it is.

So, let’s move to the actual moment where he yells at her. First off, I think Solidad might have actually made things worse. (I think literally everyone being there was the opposite of helpful, actually- Drew is a weird introvert who probably felt somewhat trapped in the situation, though that’s my interpretation of it). Anyways, Solidad immediately calls him out on his bullshit in front of May, Brock, Max, and Ash, which… way to deescalate the situation there. While Drew DOES need someone blunt like that, I don’t think this was the time for her to do her therapist hipaa stuff and talk in front of everyone about how he felt like he failed (very prideful character). So, that makes it worse. So, he grits his teeth, nods, and tries to leave the situation. However, May catches him and tells him that Absol tried its best and that Drew shouldn’t be angry at it (which I really don’t think he is). And he yells at her.

It’s the scenes after it that solidify it as him struggling with their friendship/rivalry/romantic thing, though-or at least solidify it as a possibility if we're willing to look deeper than pokemon meant for us to. This theory is mostly cemented by the scene where Ash and Drew talk (sorry, respectshippers-not trying to take over your moment here!). They end up talking about rivalries. Ash says stuff about never talking to rivals about how they train (which. One, Paul foreshadowing. But two, wasn’t that the whole thing with Ash and Charmander’s blue haired cowboy trainer? Darius or something?) Anyways, this scene ends with Drew saying “I hear ya. We’re rivals, May and I.” And the emphasis on their rivalry in this talk is what really makes me think a lot of that anger was misdirected weird emotions he had towards their rivalry in conflict towards his other feelings. Is this a stretch? Maybe, idk, but I had fun and it makes sense in my head. Hope this is what you asked for!!!

#long btw for mobile users #taylor's tag #thank you anon!#ask #asks #contestshipping #may #drew #pokeani #pokemon may #pokemon drew #coordinator may #coordinator drew

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flip-flopping-frede · 2 years ago

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My experiences with how an fp forms and how it stops as someone w/ BPD

Recently, I started watching My Hero Academia, and one of the characters, Bakugou, I had grown incredibly fond of.

At the moment, I don’t have an fp and I have not had one for some time now. While I was watching MHA, I could feel my attachment for this character growing. I believe I was slowly putting this character on a pedestal, because I kept having this growing feeling of devoting towards them. I think that this is experience is something called spitting. Usually people talk about splitting with BPD as the person with BPD feels neutral towards someone or something, and then they split on the person or thing so they see it as all bad, versus neutrally. In my case, with the character Bakugou, I was splitting on him so I saw him as all good. Based on my past lived experiences, I believe that the character Bakugou was in the process of becoming my fp. Additionally, when I experience fps, they bring me happiness. Unfortunately, because I have fully split on fps, I see them as an object/comfort character that only brings me happiness. It is extremely difficult to view the fp neutrally, since I am dependent on them for happiness and emotional regulation. This is problematic because I may default to associating the fp with happiness, versus being adaptable if the fp is being serious about something, or is bringing up something that needs compassion, and not to be laughed at/made fun of/taken as a joke.

With the character Bakugou, I rewatched the series because I wanted to see if he had NPD. He does, and by like making an effort to understand him, his symptoms, and behavior, versus not taking him seriously and treating him as a comfort character, I humanized him. Something else happened too, where I accidentally came across a spoiler.

I think that both of these cases (using cognitive empathy for Bakugou and having the spoiler mess me up) kind of interrupted the process for Bakugou becoming my fp. I think that fps are toxic and codependent relationships, and yet, I do think if an fp was to exist, it would be better for the fp to be a fictional character versus a real person who deserves to be humanized and not split on.

Basically, I wanted to share that, for any people with BPD, the way to stop an fp from fully forming is that the potential fp needs to hurt you (the person with BPD). I don’t mean that they need to go out of their way to cause you pain. But they need to do something, like make a mistake, or have a boundary. Anything that reminds you that they are an imperfect human who cannot handle being put on a pedestal. In the past, I have felt someone becoming my fp, but that stopped after they went over 24 hours without talking to me (this is a reasonable boundary that deserves to be respected, too.) Additionally, I have had another person not become my fp, because there was a chance/it seemed suspicious that she could have *possibly* been romantically attracted to me, and I’m an akoiromantic. The list goes on. But basically, if a person is becoming the fp of a pwBPD, one of the ways to stop it is for the potential fp to have or do something the pwBPD subjectively considers an imperfection or a reminder that they are human. PwBPD place people on pedestals for a reason. The fps that were perfect and flawless during the process when they were becoming the pwBPD’s fp, are perfect and flawless in the pwBPD’s eyes, since the pwBPD has split on the fp, now seeing them as all good. This means, even if the now-established fp made a flaw or mistake or reminder that they are human, the pwBPD may overlook and ignore that at best, or become upset and angry at the fp at worst for not living up to the flawless imagine that the pwBPD has formed of the fp in their head.

I’m not sure if anyone will find this useful, but I really just wanted to share my thoughts because I think it’s interesting to hear about people’s lived experiences, especially the lived experiences of people with personality disorders who are stigmatized so much and everything. Thanks for reading 💗

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leporellian · 2 years ago

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susanna and of course, leporello

was going to do all of these last night LOL but. migraine. anyway now i am free

susanna

favorite thing about them- i think i said this the last time i did these but i love that she's fairly complex, really; she's often portrayed as 'figaro's wife who can do no wrong' but she really does have some very interesting flaws and i like that about her

least favorite thing about them- as always with opera characters it comes down to how they're portrayed. really dislike the whole 'she can't do anything wrong' thing a lot of productions sell bc it makes her way less entertaining (and the whole opera gets more sexist somehow). also really not a fan of the 'and the countess and susanna are BESTIES' concept but i'll get to that below

favorite line- every time she insults anyone i gain life

brOTP- love it when she has a like... big sibling-little sibling dynamic with cherubino. also i love her friendship with marcellina that grows near the end of the opera. finally she and figaro are best friends just as much as they are romantic partners

OTP- figaro. obviously.

nOTP- ok time to soapbox bc i'm thinking about this, right now. i genuinely don't get people who pair up susanna and the countess. the best way to sum up how I think the susanna-countess dynamic should be is a discussion i had with a director i was interning under a year ago, in which he was telling me about the best marriage of figaro production he'd seen. and he said in the letter duet that... susanna was sorta scared. susanna does think of the count as an annoyance, most of the time, but she is also fully aware of the count's power and is rather uncomfortable with the plan. and right before the duet susanna protests this whole situation, only for the countess to immediately shut her down and get her writing. and the way this production played it highlighted that without ever having it go too far, make it clear the letter duet is this moment between two women of vastly different worlds; and god damn that is way more fascinating than HASHTAG GIRLBESTIES or what have you. i think susanna and the countess aren't friends, really. throughout the opera they grow to understand one another and form a bond, but it's a subtle thing, and i don't understand the susanna/countess appeal besides lesbianism (of which there's better examples to be found in opera anyway).

random headcanon- i like to think when they initially met susanna and figaro were rivals who eventually grew fond of one another

unpopular opinion- tbh everything so far ive said is an unpopular opinion LOL but mainly the whole weird HASHTAG GIRLBOSS thing opera companies have been doing wrt marriage of figaro has only hindered susanna's character because of how... superficial it all is

song i associate with them- i mean she's an opera character. real answer: peppermint patty by vince guaraldi for some reason

favorite picture of them: man i gotta stop doing these i never have a good favorite picture down

leporello:

favorite thing about them- honestly everything. literally the fictional character of all time, in my mind.

least favorite thing about them- increasingly don giovanni productions feel like a 'the director and dramaturg horribly misinterpret leporello's character' speedrun and obviously i'm NOT a fan of this development. (don g. has ALWAYS been a Misinterpretation Speedrun, however, so who can be surprised.)

favorite line- i always like that he calls out the don for what he did to anna like immediately. really funny how his literal first lines of recitative are that and yet people misinterpret him as a vile sycophant who would be just like the don if he had the opportunity. I'm not mad about it though. (Gripping chair armrests violently) I'm not mad

brOTP- elvira :) also i think him being friends with zerlina and masetto is objectively hilarious bc Can you imagine two 17 year olds deciding to adopt a 28-30 Year Old Man That Something Is Definitely Wrong With

OTP- you see, i'm the only person in the whole wide world who cares about fiorello from the barber of seville, and-

nOTP- really anyone else in the opera but ESPECIALLY the don, obviously. i don't even think leporello is romantically in love with the don, it's more of a weird not-platonic-not-romantic-undefinable-and-rotten trauma bond situation developed by years of abuse and lep not really having anyone else. it's weird but trust me it makes sense in my dumb little rodent brain

random headcanon- you get three for the price of one. he's autistic and jewish and he loves to knit :)

unpopular opinion- Everything, really, Mainly being that i like him and think he is more than comic relief or a sycophant or what have you. He and Elvira are the literal main characters of the show

song i associate with them- ik ive said this before but listening to moonlight on the river by mac demarco and then segueing into don juan (also by. mac demarco) is such an experience i think everyone who directs the opera needs to do this

favorite picture of them- i'll reach back to you but can i just say at the lyric opera of chicago theres an entire don giovanni themed floor (the 5th one) and theres pictures of every character there BUT leporello. maddening

#susanna #leporello

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dabilove27 · 4 years ago

Text

How Far We've Come

Paring: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Smut (female-receiving oral), A Cocky Dabi, Cussing, A lot of Pet Names

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile Apocalypse Collab! If you have the time check out some of the other amazing pieces! Everyone has worked so hard to make some beautiful fics!

Thank you so much to my wife @lady-lunaaa for reading, encouraging, brainstorming, and helping me the whole way from start to finish. I have said it before but I will say it again. You are absolutely amazing and this fic wouldn't exist without you! 💜 Also thank you @/deathcab4daddy (not sure if you want to be tagged) for taking the time to read through and for your advice!

You've seen all those movies, the decaying zombie hoards, the massive explosions that wipe out nations, or an unexpected illness that mysteriously kills off the population. But you had never really expected for any of those apocalyptic things to become true in your own world. They were just fiction, never something that could actually occur. Yet here you are faced with the reality of a hoard of rotting zombies. Like you have been thrown into one of the many movies or TV shows yourself.

People aren't even sure how it happened, especially in a world full of quirks where this should be somewhat controlled, right? Wrong, whatever caused this zombie apocalypse also seemed to nullify quirks over time. There was so much speculation whether it came into the water supply or passed through the air. But none of that really seems to matter anymore when you are fighting for your life every day.

And as the mass of decaying, walking corpses steps closer and closer to you, it seems like your end is near too. The smell of organs exposed to the air and sun stink up the room. You can see the blank, milky white eyes of the undead that somehow can still find you even though they can't really see. You've had a partner, at least—the man who has stood with you during this entire shit show.

He stands close to you, a single rusted knife covered in stagnant blood, not nearly enough even combined with whatever you could find for fighting off the seemingly endless mindless bodies coming your way. He's covered in burn scars and rusted staples that pull at his healthy skin. People used to jab at him for looking like the walking dead before all this went down. His firepower from before would have solved this problem in an instant. This rotting mob wouldn't have stood a chance.

But instead, it looks like it's the conclusion for the two of you. Memories flash through your mind. A memory of escaping the daily struggle of your mundane life by sharing take-out on your old couch. Or how his kisses always felt like burning flames against your lips. Your regular life consisted of trying to numb the pain of the past with alcohol or working endless hours. Even though you didn’t have a traditional relationship where you could go on public dates, being in a relationship with a well-known villain was worlds better than this. But if you were going to die, at least it was together. Solidarity in times like this seems to help the never-ending dread that the Reaper looming around every corner ready to take you. Every moment in this new hell had you wished you had more time to develop your romance with him instead of the tragedy that was about to befall you. You wished you had more time with this romance and that it wouldn't end in tragedy. It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when you couldn't stand this man, but even now, that's a fond memory for you. You would give anything to return to that old bar where the two of you met and relive all of these memories.

It really isn't a surprise that you met Dabi in a dark, run-down bar near Kamino. No, not the "bar" run by Kurogiri; everyone who lived in this area knew that it was just a setup. This bar is a tiny little hole in the wall with paint chipping off the walls and where the seats were hardly held together anymore, but that didn't really matter to people who lived in this area. You didn't come to this bar for a luxury experience.

The main reason people came to this bar was its location. It sat deep in a seedy area which meant no police patrolling nearby so you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder constantly. Plus, the cheap liquor was enticing enough.

Every Friday night, you were perched on one of the worn-out bar stools as you nursed your gin and tonic. This was your place to unwind after another hellish week of your mundane job. It was still early enough in the evening that the bar wasn't thoroughly packed with bodies trying to get their drink. The music was still soft, later it would blare whatever song was currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts. You were able to turn your brain off and listen to other patrons' mindless chatter in the background. You could just sip your drink, maybe take a shot or two if you felt like, and then head home to pass out.

You relished this little getaway, an oasis in the slums that made up your small world. The bartender and regular patrons didn't bother you, so you could have your own peace. But your Eden got interrupted by a cocky, fire-wielding asshole who had set his sights on you.

You didn't stir when said asshole plopped himself down in the barstool next to you with a thump. It wasn't until the jerk actually spoke to you that you were brought out of your mindless daydreaming.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing in a place like this?" He said with a smooth tone. You didn't even have to look at him to know he had an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

Who the fuck does this asshole think he is? The irritated thought instantly pops into your head. Anyone who frequented this bar knew you were from around here. You weren't some soft, delicate flower that wasn't supposed to be "on this side of town." Preparing yourself by putting on your best "I'm not interested face," you maneuvered your body to face him, ready to tell him off.

Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met his two endless pools of cerulean. Your gaze shifted to take in the burnt skin clinging onto the shining staples that were rooted in his healthy skin. A familiar black coat spread across his frame that was even more recognizable than those eyes, and the patronizing smile that you wanted to slap off his face. As much as you wanted to throw up your middle finger at him and tell him off, you knew who this was. Hell, everyone knew who this was.

The League of Villains didn't necessarily keep quiet around here. They didn't have to. This is the area where they recruited people to join them. You didn't just flick off and ignore a LOV member. Especially the infamous Dabi, who wasn't really known for his kindness or compassion. More for his ability to burn anyone who defied The League to a crumbling crisp.

But still, who did this asshole think he is? Waltzing in here like he owned it and saddling down into your escape from the world only to tell you that you don't look like you should be here? Fuck that nonsense, League member or not.

You swallow down a bit of the initial anger as your eyes narrow into a glare at the cocky asshole. "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in being involved with the League. So if you don't mind going somewhere else to scout, that would be great." You try to say without a tremble in your voice as you wave your hand in a "shoo" motion.

You aren't sure what you expect Dabi to do next., burn down the whole bar you included? Tell you that you have no choice but to join, and you're coming with him? Rip you out of your seat and reprimand you for disrespecting The League? But instead, none of those things happen. Instead, he does something you don't expect, and his grin grows a little wider as the staples begin to pull more at his healthy flesh.

You can feel your anxiety rising. Get out, get out, get out, this asshole will kill you, leave NOW, your mind is practically sending off every warning signal it can.

Your chest tightens when Dabi lets out a low chuckle. "Oh no, sweetheart, you've got it all wrong." He says with a dark tone. "I'm not recruiting you for work. My interest in you is personal." Dabi points at you and then at himself and finishes with an infuriating smirk that seems to be mocking you. He's moved his hand and placed it on your forearm that was resting on the smooth bar top.

A shiver runs through you as the mismatched textures of his skin and the cool metal of the staples. You feel your anger bubbling up again. How dare this jerk think that you will just fall for him like a desperate fangirl. You are livid at this point, frustration coursing through your veins, fuck the niceties and preservation. He needed to be put in his place.

"I know you think you are some big shot because The League is doing so well right now but fuck off asshole. I'm not a League groupie that will just kneel down and suck your dick just because you want it." You spit out at him while shrugging off his hand and moving your body to face the way you were initially sitting. Grasping your drink and lifting it to your lips, you try and down what was left so you could leave immediately, any extra moment around Dabi was a moment you didn't want to have.

You were sure Dabi would have given up or at least killed you by now. You can't imagine that he is used to being rejected by women. He's handsome in a way that doesn't fit with the norm. He fills in that bad boy check-list like it's his job, which it practically is given his profession. Again though, Dabi surprises you with his response. He doesn't yell, he doesn't use his quirk, and he doesn't kill you. He lets out another dark chuckle like he's enjoying this and continues the conversation you had tried to cut off.

"I didn't say anything about sucking dick, but if you're offering, who am I to turn down a gift?" That smooth tone is back as he moves his hand to your hair and runs it through his fingers.

Bewilderment overcomes you, and you can't even stop yourself before you are turned towards him again, glass in your hand, ready to throw what's left of your drink on him.

As if he anticipated the response, Dabi moves quickly and grabs your wrist in a tight grip. "Now, why would you want to waste what you have left, doll? That's not a very smart choice." His grip tightens a little more around your wrist, and you can feel the staples begin to dig into your skin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He moves your hand back down to the bar but doesn't let go even after your glass has left your hand. "There we go, good girl. Now let's talk just a bit." He says sweetly, loosening his grip just a bit, but not enough for you to move your hand.

If looks could kill, Dabi would have died a cruel death by now. You are seething at this point. But instead, you're stuck there as he continues to do whatever it is that he’s trying to accomplish. "What were you drinking? I'll buy you another one and then leave, okay doll?" He says playfully and with a cunning grin on his face as you mumble out your drink order. You just want him to leave, and you really hope he plans on keeping his word.

Dabi motions for the bartender's attention, gives your drink order and plops a few bills on the bartop. He still hasn't let go of your wrist, and each and every moment he is even touching you, you can feel your annoyance continuing to build. You want to ask him if he's done yet and will kindly get the fuck out, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he likes the cat and mouse game, which would just lengthen the amount of time he sticks around.

The bartender finally delivers your drink, and it takes everything in you not to rip your wrist out of his grasp and grab the new glass to pour over Dabi's head. "Okay, one last question, and then I'll leave." He drawls out as you put all your focus into the condensation forming on your glass. You stay silent, waiting for his stupid question so you can move on and never see him again. Dabi continues with that condesending tone that is starting to cause your head to ache, "How often do you come here? I'd love to see you again."

Your heartbeat picks up, and little shots of adrenaline start to flow through you as you contemplate how to respond. Of course, you don't want this asshole to know when you come here. This is your escape from the world. You never want to even see Dabi again, but something from this interaction tells you Dabi isn't going to give up easily. So you tell him your regular time that you show up at the bar every Friday.

Dabi squeezes your wrist a little bit before letting out another "Good girl, sounds like a date. I'll see you then." You never want him to know how those few words send a shiver down your spine. He saunters out of the bar without having a single drink himself. Patrons stare dumbfounded between you and the doorway that Dabi just exited, trying to comprehend what just happened.

You let out an exasperated sigh before leaning your head down into your folded arms. The bar top isn't necessarily the cleanest of places to lay your head, but it’s pounding and racing with thoughts, and you can't really bring yourself to care right now. You try to formulate a plan so you won't ever see him. You'll just move your regular day to Saturday instead of Fridays. But then that stubborn anger flares inside of you again, and you sit up straight, glancing at your newly unwanted drink as the ice slowly melts, lifting the remaining liquid in the cup. No, I'm not going to let that asshole ruin my spot for me. He can come around here every Friday, but I'll turn that jerk down a million times. You think a little smugly to yourself. We will see how the big bad Dabi feels being turned down over and over. Maybe that will sting his ego.

And so you and Dabi play this game of cat and mouse. He comes every Friday when you are there without fail, buying you a drink, chatting to you with sentences filled with pet names, and planning another "date" each time. And every time you tell him you aren't interested or to go away, or really anything to try and get that stupid fucking smirk off his face. But it always remains cemented there as he watches you get fired up. And what you don't realize is the two of you are getting to know each other. Dabi adds in little questions, "what's your favorite food, least favorite, what do you do for work?" And the questions go on and on. You don't realize your walls coming down as the two of you find similarities in each other. And if there is one thing anyone who sees these frequent interactions between the two of you can say, it is that Dabi is determined.

You are so used to Dabi's Friday visits that they don't bring headaches anymore, and you realize something more has developed when he doesn't show up one week. A mixture of feelings rests in you, anxiety, confusion, anger. You wonder if he's okay, or has he finally given up. And then anger if he has. You don't want to admit it, but you miss his company, and you don't even have a number to reach out to him. You feel a sense of loss in your chest. How could he just give up? He's been trying for months! You think as tears begin to sting for a moment in your eyes.

You leave the bar that night not feeling uplifted or relaxed but sad and angry. And you aren't necessarily looking forward to returning the week after, but you do come back to your regular spot and hope Dabi will show. Your heart almost stops in your chest when you see him walk through the entrance of the bar, and before you can contain the words, they tumble out in a frantic sound, "where were you last week?" You are standing in front of him now, looking up at that little grin he always has on his face whenever you get annoyed with him. You cross your arms over your chest and exclaim, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Aw, did you miss me, baby girl?" His poker face never falls, but his grin grows a tiny bit wider as he stares into your fiery eyes. And without warning, he wraps one of his long arms around you, pulling you into a tight side hug.

A small eep escapes you at the movement, and you move to push him off. "What the hell are you doing? Answer my question, you jerk!" You practically yell as you push away from him. He doesn't let go and just pulls you tighter to him, and you find yourself not struggling anymore as you take in the weathered texture of his coat pressed against your arm and the smell of cigarettes on him. You feel your walls starting to fall entirely, "I was really concerned about you." You let out in a whisper, not really wanting to admit it to him, but you weren't sure how you would feel if something like this happened again.

"Aw, babe, you did miss me." The delight in his voice makes you shiver a little. He gestures you over to your regular spot at the bar, and the two of you sit down in the weathered chairs. He puts a calloused finger under your chin to bring your gaze to his. You stare into his cerulean depths that you used to hate and find yourself softening a bit. "I had to do something for The League, but I don't have your number, love. So I couldn't call and let you know I wouldn't make our date." His face relaxes a bit as he watches your frown turn into a bit of pout.

"Okay, well fine, I'll give you my number. But don't just text me randomly, okay?" You huff as you lay your palm flat and motion for his phone. Dabi chuckles and shakes his head before handing you the phone without another word. Lifting the phone, you type your number into the cracked screen and hand it back to him. "Okay, now text me, so I have yours. " You say, moving to grab your phone to wait for his upcoming text.

"Hmmm, I don't think so, doll," Dabi says, taking in your furrowed brow and then relishing in the way you roll your eyes at his taunting.

"Fine, whatever, Dabi. Just text me next time you can't make it." You say sourly while searching for the bartender to order your drink. You don't want Dabi to see the slight sting of hurt in your eyes because he won't give you his. The rest of the night goes as expected, drinking and talking, and you find yourself laughing more, not realizing how much you truly enjoyed this time with him.

The two of you depart with another hug, this one much shorter than the first, but you find yourself leaning into the warmth that radiates from him instead of wanting to push him off. As you begin walking down the street home, you feel a buzz in your pocket. Pulling out your phone, you unlock it to the message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey babe, see you same time next week - D

A small smile comes to your face as you type a response back.

The following year you grow in your relationship with Dabi. There are never really any titles between the two of you. Just that the two of you are together. You never meet The League. Dabi is insistent you aren't involved with them in case things go awry. But you spend a lot of time together when work or villain work doesn't take up the time.

Your relationship together comes to a head at the very start of the apocalypse. The two of you sit snuggled together on your worn-out couch watching the news as a young reporter stands in front of a local research building in town and goes through the facts of citizens becoming "mindless and violent in a matter of hours." And how they have people under lockdown who are experiencing symptoms of this "mysterious illness."

A slight shiver goes through you as the reporter goes on. "That's really scary. No one knows what's causing it," you reflect aloud while you lean in closer into Dabi's outstretched arm that is resting around your shoulders.

"Aw, babe, don't be scared. Those mindless fools wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to lay a hand on you while I'm there," Dabi says with a glint of amusement in his voice. He always sounds so condescending, but you know it's the truth. Remembering a time at the bar when a guy wouldn't take no for an answer-not that Dabi really followed that either- but Dabi didn't hesitate to let the guy know you were already taken. He flirts and likes to jab a lot, but there’s a complete shift in the atmosphere when he's serious.

"Ugh, Dabi, you know I don't mean them attacking us. It's whatever is causing it that worries me. What happens if one of us gets it? There's no cure right now," You say and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Dabi picks up on your anxious state, and his cocky facade fades. He pulls you on his lap so that you are fully facing him with legs pressed on either side of his. Dabi holds one large hand on your waist, and the other he presses to your cheek. Leaning your cheek further into his hand, Dabi moves his thumb to trace over the slight marks in your lip where your teeth were just placed. "Hey, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay? I won't let any of these maniacs hurt you, and we won't catch whatever they have," Dabi says tenderly as he gives you a small smile.

It's nice to see him like this- when his mask of superiority disappears, and he's focused on encouraging you. It doesn't happen often because you like to keep walls. Comfort from Dabi doesn’t need to happen often but you can’t say you don’t like it when he does. You enjoy these softer moments with him that only you get to see.

You pull Dabi into a light kiss. The gentle pressure of his mismatched lips fit seamlessly against yours. You pull away after a moment to look into his deep blue eyes that now captivate you. Dabi has that coy smile still on his face, and as his eyes meet your in that moment, it's like the horrible events of the world aren't happening anymore. All that seems to exist is the two of you, not the TV still prattling in the background or even the noises outside your city window.

Dabi lightly caresses your cheek down to the length of your neck and finally ending near where your collarbones sit. Everywhere he touches leaves behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin. Even with these simple touches, you can feel yourself starting moving against him, trying to create a bit of friction. Dabi knew how easily he could rile you up with simple touches. It was frustrating at times, and you wished you could have the same effect on him.

"I love you, babe. And no matter what, I won't let anything hurt you," Dabi tells you, and you swear his voice seems to be cracking, but the moment is gone before you can think about it. Dabi lives on being mysterious most of the time, and you rarely get to see this vulnerable side of him. Even if he doesn't say it behind that mask of cockiness, you can feel that there is fear of what's happening right now. Or at least that's what you think the fear is from, but Dabi will never admit the fear is from losing you to whatever this is. He isn't sure he could survive this hell of a life he's been given without you.

Your heart aches at his sincere words from earlier, and you whisper back, "I love you too, Dabi." Drawing him into a more intense kiss. Dabi begins to run his fingers along the hem of your t-shirt and delicately brushes the skin right under with his fingertips. You feel a moan bubble up inside of you, but his mouth moving against yours swallows the sound.

"I want you so bad, doll. Let's just forget what's going on right now, let the world fall away," he says in a husky voice after breaking away from the kiss.

You nod to him before letting out a content sigh and letting your eyes fall shut while Dabi continues to trace his hands over your body. Dabi trails his massive heated hands under the thin shirt you are wearing and down to your hips. You can feel the bulge of his cock through his jeans as it begins to press against your clothed core.

Opening your eyes, you meet Dabi's half-lidded lustful eyes and bite your bottom lip and allow yourself to give into Dabi taking over you.

You can feel your heart beating a little faster, watching Dabi drink in every ounce of you. Dabi is one of the only men you have ever trusted like this. To have you so totally vulnerable. It's strange how someone you didn't want anything to do with for months has become someone you rely on for everything- love, comfort, pleasure.

Dabi places open-mouthed kisses along your neck that leave you breathless. "Fuck, I'm obsessed with every inch of you," Dabi growls out before returning to kissing and sucking your neck and exposed collar bone.

You grip Dabi's shoulder to ground you back from floating away into complete bliss and tip your head out to give him more access to your neck. Dabi's mouth is like a flame that licks at your sensitive skin as he continues to trail his mouth all over. You could be trapped in this pleasure forever.

Dabi grasps the back of your head and roughly brings your lips back to his. With your mouths slotted against each other, you moan as Dabi finesses you to where you are lying on your back on the old couch, and he is hovering over you.

You break the kiss to quickly pull off his jacket and expose Dabi's scarred arms. And just as you have only trusted Dabi fully with yourself, he has done the same. Of course, the two of you have had sex with other people, mostly with lights off clothing still left on to hide the imperfections. But with each other, there is no more hiding.

Heat begins to pool in your belly as you watch Dabi pull off your shorts and slide his warm hands all the way back up your leg and massage the plush skin of your thighs. Once your shorts are removed, Dabi brings himself back to your face and, with a lustful sigh, traces kisses on your jaw and neck.

"Just relax and let me take you away from all of this, love. I want to hear every sound you make." He growls as he moves down towards your pussy and lays himself between your spread legs. Dabi lifts your thighs to rest on his shoulder as you let out a little gasp. You can feel the excitement and heat rising in you.

Dabi kisses down the inside of your soft thighs and stops to suck at certain spots, leaving minor marks in their place. He stops for a moment until you are looking directly into his captivating gaze, and then he licks a stripe up your pussy over the cotton of your underwear. You let out a breathy moan at the sensation. That jerk knows precisely what he's doing.

Dabi then grabs the thin material of your underwear and rips them away from your body with a tear. Groaning, you are about to curse at him for ruining another pair but are cut short when he sleekly licks up your folds. A delicate, playful moan leaves your separated lips. Your eyes close, and you cling onto his white shirt to ground yourself.

"Baby girl, you're soaking wet," Dabi teases as if you weren't aware but cuts off any retort again with a quick suck to your aching clit. You can't hold back the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.

Dabi smiles against your lower lips and continues his ministrations. His mouth is open wide, so he can move back and forth from quickly licking up and down your sensitive pussy as well as suck softly on your clit. You feel light-headed at the extended sensations, little whimpers and moans falling through your lips. Dabi has always been able to leave you speechless with just his mouth.

"Dabi please," Your breathing hitches, and you moan out as he flicks his tongue repeatedly over your small bud. You can feel that hot pressure building in your stomach as Dabi continues. He laps at you like you are holding the only source of liquid left in this world, his tongue working wonders on your dripping hole.

Dabi pulls back and looks up at you as you eagerly meet his blue eyes, begging him to continue. He smirks before lowering his mouth back down and laps at your sopping core teasingly. Fucking bastard. Always a tease from day one.

Dabi licks his lips before returning to eating you out even faster as a series of cries and obscenities continue to fall out of your mouth. You can't hold them back. His mouth is so hot and wet against your core.

With another curse, you tell him you are close. A sigh escapes your lips, and your head tosses back onto the cushy arm of the couch. Dabi pulls away but inserts two fingers inside of you in place of his mouth.

"Fuck, sweetheart, as much as I want to hear you beg and plead for me, I want to taste you right now." Dabi lets out with a rough voice filled with desire. You whimper as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. He smirks at your blissed-out face and then returns his mouth to your pussy. His tongue flicks over your clit repeatedly as whines and cries continue to be let out of your mouth. Back arching, you bite at your lip, barely able to even process the words that came out of Dabi just a moment ago.

"Oh, fuck, Dabi, please. Please, I'm gonna cum soon." The words fall from your lips, and your mind feels numb to everything except the feeling of Dabi's tongue on your pussy.

Dabi grunts and gives another hard suck to your clit before pulling away just a bit. "Hell yeah, babe, come all over my face."

Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens with another cry as your legs begin to tremble as the tension starts to rise in your stomach. One more lick, and you know you'd come. Dabi's continued suckling of your clit sends you careening over the edge. Your cries fill the room, and your back arches as your legs try to squeeze around his head. Dabi continues to suck and lick as you orgasm. Panting and with your eyes twisted shut, you cling to his shirt as you start to come down. A final curse gently leaves your mouth as you wait for your legs to stop shaking. Dabi takes one last long slow lick before sitting back and wiping his face with the back of his hand. You can't bring yourself to move from the couch, still panting and weak.

Your mind starts slowly coming back to you as the bliss begins to leave. The realization of everything happening in the world washes over you. But you were thankful Dabi took the time to distract you from the horrors of what's going on. You move over so Dabi can cuddle with you on the couch. It isn't much room, but it feels good to be this close with him, wrapped in each other's arms. You both slowly start to drift off to sleep, but you don't miss Dabi's final words mumbled into your hair, "I'll never let anything happen to you."

Shortly after that, the world seems to descend into madness. The illness grows more and more rampant. People are getting infected every day. Whether it's through the original source of contamination or by those contaminated biting or scratching someone. Panic spreads throughout the country. But through all of it, you and Dabi stick together.

From the moment it was declared an emergency Dabi was banging at your door, insisting the two of you find somewhere safer than your run-down apartment. Because while the two of you needed sleep, whatever these things are could go non-stop, and your apartment was not fortified.

You and Dabi lost your quirks a month after the emergency declaration, along with the rest of the population. People couldn't fight these zombie-like creatures off anymore. Like all the movies and TV shows, the bodies became more zombies than actual living people.

After a while of jumping around from a destroyed place to another, the two of you found yourself in an apartment building that had a sturdy enough entrance that the zombies couldn't break through. The daily struggles were still hard, though. Finding food and water to survive became a daily task for the two of you. Through all of this, he never left your side. He always insisted the two of you stay together. And so you did. Fighting the living dead, but sometimes the living too when things got even more terrible, and scavenging was your everyday routine now.

You lost track of time and could only follow when the seasons changed. But Dabi was really the only thing getting you through this. Seeing people destroy one another for food or shelter destroyed you inside. Never knowing if these zombies you were killing were someone you had known at one point, or just another faceless dead person tore at every corner of your brain. Dabi stayed strong for the two of you. Holding you every night on the ripped blankets, you could gather for the strange bed the two of you slept in. You would sob into his muscled chest about how you couldn't live in this world anymore, how you couldn't kill another person, alive or dead.

But Dabi would never let go. He would hold you close and let your never-ending tears stain the only shirt he had now. He would rub your back with his warm hands; even though his rusting staples would catch on your shirt and rip from his skin, he still did it. He would hold you until you fell asleep, whispering how strong you were and how he could never do this without you. And after all the tears, you were thankful too. Because without him, you'd be dead or alone. You knew that without Dabi, you would have never survived this long.

But you could see Dabi was hurting too. You couldn't find supplies to treat his decaying skin. He hid his daily pain from you, but when Dabi thought you weren't looking or listening, he would hiss at the pain of another staple pulling at his burnt skin or let out a huge sigh when he would try to put it back together, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only hope the two of you held onto was each other and that possibly a cure would come soon. Not that either you could really access that information with no electricity; there wasn't any way to get information other than hearsay. You survived the best you could in this world.

And as much as this wasn't what you would have picked for either of you, at least you had each other. You tried not to think of a time when you wouldn't be together, even though the chances of that happening were high- it hurt too much. To survive in this world without Dabi would be too fucking much.

It's almost as if fate chose to play a cruel game with the two of you. It seemed like a "normal" trip out to scavenge for food and water. The two of you had to expand your search area since places closer were mainly empty.

This time you found yourself outside of a convenience store, a reasonable distance away from your home. It hadn't been completely destroyed by some miracle and was not overrun by the zombified people. Still, in a state of decay, though, Dabi was quickly able to kick his heavy boots through the door and get the two of you in.

Sauntering through the gas station, you quickly begin to pick up canned food and stale bags of chips and shove them in your worn backpack. Dabi is doing the same on other aisles until he lets out a chuckle. "Hey babe, look what I found." He says with a cocky voice holding up a few boxes of wrapped condoms above the aisle for you to see.

You roll your eyes. "Thanks, Dabi. Is sex really what we want to be thinking about right now? Let's just get this shit and get out." You let out with an annoyed huff and continue to push the limits of how much your bag can hold.

Dabi comes over to your aisle and snakes his arms around your waist with your back pressed to his chest. He places his chin on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. "Yes, all I can think about is getting your beautiful body back home and finally being able to finish in you, and with these, I can." He lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls you closer against him and bucks his hips playfully.

"Okay, horn dog, let's get this shit done, and then we can do whatever you want back home." You let out with an eye roll. It's hard to stay mad at him. You know he's trying to keep things light for you, to keep you happy because he can see how hard this is. And his regular teasing is one way he knows will bring a smile to your face.

As you are finishing up trying to take inventory of anything else in the store that you can take back, you spot the clear plastic that holds the cartons of cigarettes behind the cashier counter. While you didn't necessarily want Dabi smoking, you knew he missed the vice. Cigarettes were just as hard to find as medicine in this new world. Smiling to yourself, you move behind the counter and reach for the plastic flap to lift it up.

As you try to lift the latch, it doesn't budge. You look around for what might be blocking it before seeing the tiny silver keyhole to one side of the compartment. Crap, of course, it's locked. You really wanted to surprise Dabi with this. Maybe you still could. The key had to be here somewhere, right? You think while scanning around the counter. You try searching through the counters for a hidden key but no luck. Letting out a heavy sigh, you call Dabi over.

Dabi wanders over to your annoyed face and can't help but smile at your slight pout. "I wanted to surprise you! But I can't open it. Can you get it, please?" It comes out almost like a whine as you gesture to the cigarettes.

Dabi's smirk turns into a genuine smile, and he pats the top of your head before saying, "My sweet doll. Thank you for thinking of me. Let me help you out." You could smack him, but instead, you watch as he hastily rips the plastic covering away and slips his hand below it to grab one of the wrapped cartons.

At that moment, everything changes. The fun times the two of you were having shatters as a loud alarm rings through the store. Panic floods your system as you stare at Dabi wide-eyed. "There is no electricity. What's happening? There shouldn't be an alarm." Horror is laced in your voice as words spill out of you. Every walking corpse within miles will be here soon with the sound.

"Fuck, must have had a battery attachment. Come on, let's go." Dabi's usual playfulness is gone as he abandons the cigarettes and grabs your hand. He's grave now. Getting the two of you out of here safely is his only goal.

You follow Dabi quickly, a hand grasped tightly in his as he runs towards the broken-down front door. And that's when even more terror settles into you. Zombies are pushing their way through the open door. Their rotting bodies and white eyes focused on the area where the alarm is coming from. There weren't many around when you broke in, but now it seems like they are multiplying by the moment.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Dabi curses under his breath, quickly turning around and pulling you towards the building's back exit. You follow behind adrenaline surging through your veins fueled by your flight response. Dabi grasps at the metal handle to the back door and shakes it only to find it locked. "Damnit!" he shouts before kicking the door violently.

Your heart is pounding, and you feel helpless as you stare at Dabi while he continues to slam himself at the door. While the front door was glass and flimsier, this door was only budging slightly. With all your focus on the door, you don't notice the continuously growing herd filtering into the gas station. Not until you feel one brush against your shoulder.

Your eyes widen as you feel a scream bubbling in your throat. This is it. This is where the two of you die and either become fodder for a herd of living dead or turn into one yourself. Your brain is pure panic as thoughts fly through faster than you can catch them. You don't even realize you have screamed out Dabi's name until you see his face turn towards yours.

His typically blue eyes are almost entirely covered by his dark pupils as he takes in the monstrosities behind you. But unlike you, he doesn't hesitate. He pulls out a knife he keeps in one of his pockets and slams it into the decaying skull of the zombie that is right behind you. Splurts of dark blood hit your cheek as he pulls out the knife, and the creature behind you crumples to the floor.

"Keep trying the door! I'll keep them off you." Dabi shouts, pulling you into the spot he previously stood. Your heartbeat is so loud you can feel it in your head, and you can't even make a coherent response as you begin to slam your body against the solid surface. You can feel it give a little more with each push of your body, and everything in you is screaming not to give up. Doing your best not to glance at Dabi's grunting and movements as he continues to try and put down zombie after zombie.

You can't give up; this can't be the end . Desperately your brain is screaming as you continue to feel the door give more and more. Your shoulder hurts from the continued impact, but you aren't letting it slow you down. You can feel it; it's almost there.

Suddenly the door gives, and you can see the sun shining through on the other side. You cry out in relief and turn back to tell Dabi to come with you. But as your eyes meet, fear fills every ounce of you.

He's still fighting them off, but there is a gaping bite wound on his right arm— rows of teeth marks embedded in his skin. You feel like you're going to be sick. There is no coming back from this; there's no known cure. At any point within the next twenty-four hours, he would be another one of the walking dead, no sense, no logic, and looking to consume others. This can't be happening, this can't be happening. Your heart is sinking with every second that ticks by.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get out! Get out!" Dabi screams at you as he embeds his knife in another zombie.

"No, no, I can't leave without you! I-we can find something. I'll find something, please! Come on, Dabi, I can't do this without you!" You are sobbing now, hot tears streaming through the dirt and blood mixed on your face. An ache in your heart starts to form. You know you don't know how to help him, but you'll do anything to not leave him behind.

Dabi lets out a grin despite the feral dead people closing in on him. And gives you a wink before saying in a voice that seems too calm for the situation, "Come on, doll, you are the most intelligent person I know. You have to go. Live for us, babe. Look at how far we've come. Go show this world that it won't ever break you down. I love you, and I'll come to find you wherever you are in the afterlife and annoy the shit out of you. Now go!"

It's like your heart is being ripped into a thousand pieces. Your breath comes out in short huffs, moving towards hyperventilating. You want to go back to Dabi and cling on for dear life, but you won't let him die in vain. Not after that speech. That would be an insult to everything the two of you have overcome. So with all your strength, you give your lover, the man who has come so far with you, the last look before letting out a final "I love you too" and burst out the door.

You don't look back, aching feet propelling you forward as tears continue to stream and fall off your face. When you first met Dabi, you would have never thought you'd miss him. But you will , you'll miss every snarky comment, every flirty glance, and the tender way only he has loved you. The man that you were sure was just some asshole trying to get laid became the love of your life and sacrificed himself so you could live. And you could never let that go to waste.

#smut pile collab #Dabi x reader #Dabi smut #tw: character death #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #Dabi fanfiction #my fic #how far we've come

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queenshelby · 3 years ago

Text

Accidents Happen (Just Friends Part 8) - Cillian Murphy Imagine

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: SMUT

Words: 3337

Tag List (Cillian Murphy):

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang @0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @margoo0 @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby

Note: This is fictional and doesn’t include reference to Cillian’s real children and wife.

Dublin to Birmingham

Just six weeks ago you and Max moved in with Cillian and things couldn’t have gotten much better between you.

Whilst you both took this step out of convenience and fairly early on in your somewhat fresh relationship, you were both happy and comfortable with your decision.

Max loved having Cillian’s children around and Cillian was slowly becoming like a father to Max, something he had never experienced before. He treated Max the same way he treated his own children and, sometimes, you wondered how you got so lucky. Even you and Cillian’s ex-wife had managed to build a reasonable relationship and, when Cillian wasn’t able, you would sometimes drive to her house to pick up his two sons. The age gap between you and Cillian didn’t bother her once she learned how you interacted with the children and once she met your son Max.

As far as your relationship with Cillian was concerned, you loved having each other’s company on a day-to-day basis. You often cooked together, took long warm baths together and played board games with the kids. But, most of all, you loved spending nights together in the same bed. It was not only romantic but comforting for you to have the man you loved by your side every night until quite recently.

Unfortunately, just as you settled into your new home, Cillian had to travel to England to begin filming the next season of Peaky Blinders.

This meant that you were going to be on your own for three weeks with Max before you would see him again in Birmingham, which is where your parents lived.

Whilst filming didn’t actually take place in Birmingham, Cillian was meeting you and Max there over the long weekend to finally meet your parents. It was your father’s birthday and, unfortunately, he wasn’t too fond of your relationship with Cillian.

Initially, you didn’t share much with your family other than the fact that you were living with Cillian and that he shared care for his two children with his ex. Furthermore, your parents had a problem with the age gap between you and Cillian after your father asked how old he was.

Your parents considered that age and the fact that you had three children between you might become an issue if you wanted more children of your own. You knew that Cillian didn’t want any more children and at this point, neither did you. Things were perfect the way they were and you hoped that your parents would accept your relationship once they saw how happy Cillian made you.

But, little did you know that, your parents would give him a much harder time than necessary when they first meet him.

On the Friday evening, when you arrived in Liverpool with Max, you were excited to see your parents. But, you were even more excited to see Cillian who you were meeting at the airport.

You had hired a car to drive to your parents’ house together. That way, you could drive back to Liverpool on the Monday with Cillian for another few quite days between you while your grandmother had planned to take Max back to Dublin.

In her opinion, you and Cillian were in need of some time together without kids. Unlike your parents, she adored Cillian and supported your relationship.

As you and Max got out of the plane and entered the terminal, you could see Cillian waiting for you from far away. He couldn’t be missed wearing the Thomas Shelby haircut and, unfortunately for you, other people recognised him as well.

But, he didn’t seem bothered by the fact that people were starring at him and took you into his arms before giving you a kiss as soon as you and Max approached.

He then proceeded to give Max a hug before offering you help with your bags.

‘Nice haircut’ you chuckled as you ran your hand over the back of his head.

‘Funny’ he smirked as he took your bag and walked with you and Max to the car.

You knew that he hated getting his hair cut with this style and couldn’t help but tease him.

‘I just love that I will get to meet your entire family while having this ridiculous haircut’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Trust me, at least three of my cousins get their hair cut the same way. You won’t be noticed as the odd one out’ you laughed.

‘Great, if I put on the accent, no doubt I will blend right in, eh?’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Well, you can stay in character over the weekend if you want’ you laughed before giving him another kiss as you arrived at the car.

‘You know, I really missed you’ you said with a warm smile as you sat down in the driver seat.

‘You are driving, are you?’ Cillian smiled before telling you that he missed you also and giving you another even longer kiss than before.

‘Yikes, can you stop this’ Max said with some embarrassment. He had gotten to the age where he thought that kissing was disgusting and girls were silly.

After you both chuckled about Max’s comment, you were on your way to Birmingham.

While you were driving, Cillian exclaimed that he was nervous about meeting your parents after they were already disapproving of your relationship.

What he also didn’t know that you never mentioned to your family what he was doing for a living. Unless your grandmother told them, they might be lightly surprised. But, the topic had never come up after, every time you and your father talked about your relationship, you ended up hanging up on him when he started to argue with you.

Nonetheless, you reassured Cillian that your parents will come around once they met him and see how happy you are together.

The Moment of Truth

After an almost 2 hour drive you finally arrived at your parent’s house.

‘Hi darling, how are you?’ your mum said as she hugged both you and Max at the same time before introducing herself to Cillian.

‘You must be Cillian. It’s nice to meet you’ your mum said as she shook Cillian’s hand.

‘Likewise, Mrs Y/LN’ Cillian responded with a warm smile just as your father walked through the hallway and greeted you and Max.

‘I am Y/N’s father’ he said somewhat sternly before shaking Cillian’s hand.

‘Cillian, nice to meet you’ Cillian said politely.

‘I figured. Now come on in’ your father said as it was rather cold.

Your mother was quick to disappear with Max and you quickly instructed her to give him too many lollies before dinner.

‘He looks somewhat familiar’ your father exclaimed to you while Cillian closed the car just as your youngest brother came walking through the hallway to approach you.

He immediately noticed Cillian and looked at him with some surprise.

‘No fucking way’ Brendan said all of a sudden while his eyes widened, causing him to receive a nudge from your father.

‘Language Son’ your father said firmly, causing Cillian to chuckle before he introduced himself.

‘I know man. Me and my friends love Peaky Blinders’ your brother said before introducing himself to Cillian.

Your father looked at your brother with some confusion until it clicked and he realised that Cillian was, in fact, part of the TV show he had been watching occasionally with your brother.

Your sister soon approached you as well and greeted you with a hug. She also introduced herself to Cillian. You had spoken with her about in him on several occasions previously and there was no surprise. Nonetheless, her first question was whether Cillian could introduce her to Finn Cole, causing Cillian to laugh.

After some introductions and small talk, your father showed you to your respective rooms and it became evident to you that he had arranged for you to share a room with Max while he had allocated a separate room to Cillian.

‘Dad, that’s a joke, right? You do realise we live together?’ you asked, while Cillian remained quiet about the situation.

‘And yet you aren’t married, so you will not be staying in the same bedroom at my house’ your father said, causing you to take a deep breath.

‘We should have booked a bloody hotel, that’s ridiculous’ you said.

‘Fine by me’ your father said before walking off.

‘Y/N, it’s two nights and Max hasn’t seen his grandparents for a while. We should stay for him, yeah?’ Cillian said quietly and you nodded reluctantly. As usual, Cillian was comforting and loving despite your father’s dislike for him.

‘I am so sorry Cilly, I don’t know what his problem is’ you said.

‘It’s alright Y/N. He is just being protective of you and that’s a good thing. I am sure he will come around’ Cillian said as he took you into his arms.

‘I know. It’s just that I am 25 years old and cannot sleep in the same bedroom as my boyfriend. It’s so ridiculous’ you said somewhat upset. After all, you wanted to be with Cillian desperately, share a bed together and possibly have some intimacy.

‘I know’ Cillian chuckled before giving you a gentle kiss.

‘I cannot wait another two nights to be with you. It’s been three weeks since we slept together last and the Skype thing is really not the same’ you said suggestively as you ran your hand over his crotch hoping that no would walk through the hallway and catch you.

‘Y/N, stop. I don’t think your father would appreciate it if he saw us like this’ Cillian chuckled trying to push your hand away.

‘I tell you what, I will come to your room after everyone goes to sleep. Just for a bit’ you smirked trying to reach inside his pants, causing Cillian to get fidgety and laugh at the same time.

‘That’s a bad idea Y/N’ Cillian chuckled.

‘Why is that?’ you asked before telling Cillian that you have needs.

‘Firstly, this is your parents’ house and I do not want to disrespect their wishes. Secondly, you aren’t exactly quiet when we have sex and, thirdly, you told me on the way here that you forgot your pill the last couple of days when you stayed with your grandmother in Galway’ Cillian said.

‘Well, you will just have to pull out in time’ you winked, knowing very well that he had exceptional self-control after you found yourself in the same situation the previous months when you forgot to take it. After that, it had gotten to the point where Cillian reminded you to take it as you weren’t exactly consistent and somewhat forgetful, which also made you schedule a doctor’s appointment in two weeks to discuss other options in so far as contraception was concerned.

Just as your quick conversation with Cillian was nearing the end, your mother called out to you both to tell you that dinner was ready.

‘Coming’ you yelled out as you removed your hand from the inside of Cillian’s pants.

‘Thanks…gotta hide that now’ Cillian chuckled as he rearranged his pants so that his erection would be hidden beneath the large jumper he was wearing.

You giggled and both made your way to the dining room.

Dinner Interrogations

During dinner, your father managed to step out of line completely when he asked Cillian whether he always dated women much younger than him.

Luckily, Cillian remained polite and answered his question regardless of its inappropriateness.

‘No. In fact, I was reluctant about the age difference between us at first’ Cillian exclaimed.

‘Well, I was just asking since, with many actors, that’s the norm, dating women half their age’ your father said.

‘It is?’ Cillian asked surprised, causing you to laugh but your father didn’t appreciate the sarcasm.

The conversation soon escalated and Cillian excused himself and offered you to put Max to bed so that you can catch up with your sister and mother.

It was obvious to you that your father and Cillian didn’t see eye to eye and Cillian tried best to remain calm and keep the peace for your sake.

He joined you and your family again after putting Max to bed and, by that time, your father had received a lecture from your mother and was up to his second glass of wine. Things went much more smoothly thereafter and your parents also excused themselves at 9pm to go to bed.

Cillian went on to have a shower before giving you kiss and returning to the room that was assigned to him. He knew you would join him shortly. After all, he knew you well and he found it rather difficult to deny you especially when you were aching for him. You were a rather sexual person and demanding when it came to intimacy.

And just like this, after you had a shower and checked on Max, you sneaked into his room wearing nothing but your panties.

Cillian was lying in bed with a novel, wearing his Calvin Klein briefs and reading glasses. The beside table lamp was dimming the room nicely and his muscular chest was highlighted by the shimmering light.

‘Good Evening Professor’ you giggled as you immediately jumped on top of him. You loved when he was wearing his reading glasses.

Cillian put his book aside and pulled you close for passionate kiss before taking off his glasses.

‘I love you, you know that?’ he said quietly and you nodded in response.

‘I love you too Cillian’ you said before kissing him again passionately before lifting up your hips to take off your panties.

There wasn’t much time for foreplay and you certainly didn’t need any. After three weeks, you were desperate for him and he was desperate for you.

You quickly threw the blanket to the ground and helped him out of his briefs before pushing him backwards so that he would lie flat on the mattress.

You climbed on top of him before you kissed again, fast, desperate and passionately.

‘Don’t forget to pull out’ you smirked just before your body began to slowly lower itself onto his Cillian’s lap, the head of his cock pushing against your opening.

He was hard, harder than he had been in a while. It was obvious to you how much he simply wanted to be inside of you.

The lips of your mound were slick, covered by your juices and the precum that had pooled at the tip of his cock.

As you moved your body further down, he penetrated you without resistance, relishing the wet, soft and warm grip of your opening.

You were just as tight as he remembered and a soft growl fell from his lips. Your walls contracted around him as he entered you inch by inch. It almost felt like a vice-grip, and the fact that he didn't immediately cum right there after three weeks of abstinence was a miracle.

You also couldn't believe how good it felt, after three weeks. You needed this desperately and you no longer cared about the fact that your parents were staying in the next room.

‘Hmm, I missed this’ you moaned quietly as more and more of his cock filled you.

Finally, your shapely ass rested on his legs, the entirety of Cillian’s cock throbbing inside you.

‘I missed this too babe’ Cillian whispered as you leaned in and kissed him deeply, pressing your small perky breasts against his chest.

You raised yourself slightly before lowering yourself back onto his hard member.

Cillian kept both hands on your hips, guiding you as you rhythmically bounced on his lap.

You felt yourself getting lost in all of this and your moans soon became uncontrolled, causing Cillian to gently place his hand over your mouth for a few seconds to muffle the sounds you were making.

‘You need to be quiet’ he instructed as the feeling of him being inside of you was almost dizzying.

You tried the best you could to remain quiet, but your efforts were futile as your humping grew erratic while you nuzzled your face into Cillian’s neck.

Cillian wrapped his arms around you and started to both lift you and thrust up, taking control of your movements.

His cock was slamming into you now, the sound of your ass cheeks being clapped competing with the squeaking of the bed.

Neither of you cared any longer as you got lost in each other. Surely, your family was fast asleep by now.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you whispered in between laboured moans as you moved in sync with each other and the head of his cock hit your cervix over and over again. His length filled you perfectly and it felt as though he was all the way inside your stomach.

As you rode him for what felt like an eternity, you could soon begin to feel your orgasm approach hard and fast and, whilst you usually tried to draw it out, you didn’t that night.

You came hard and forcefully, your body shaking as you did everything in your power not to scream and moan.

As your orgasm washed over you, Cillian once again covered your mouth to stop you from screaming out involuntarily. Usually, you were loud in the bedroom, so loud that you had recently been questioned by one of the children as to whether something was wrong.

Cillian made you feel so good that you lost control and his hand muffled the screams that escaped you as your walls contracted around him, squeezing his hard cock tightly as you orgasmed.

The sound of your panting and contraction of your tight walls around his cock pushed Cillian close to the edge as well. In fact, he was dangerously close.

While you rode out your orgasm, his was approaching, fast and hard and his cock started to pulse inside you.

‘Y/N stop’ Cillian said quietly as he held still, trying to reduce the pleasure you were giving him. But, you were in a trance, still consumed by your orgasm after three weeks of abstinence, and continued to move up and down on top of him.

‘Y/N, you need to stop… Fuck’ Cillian panted in between involuntary groans as he could feel himself throbbing inside of you rapidly. He could not hold back any longer.

You finally realised what was happening when you felt his hands grip your waist, trying to move you off him and asking you to stop once again.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian moaned as you quickly moved your body upwards, allowing him to pull out of you and, just in that moment, he came hard and fast.

You tried your best to quickly collect his hot and sweet seed with your mouth as you had planned. After all, this was something you enjoyed doing a lot. But, your efforts were partially futile and you would certainly have to find a way to discreetly wash the sheets tomorrow without your parents noticing. There was a lot, defiantly more than usual.

‘Close call’ you giggled after swallowing what you had collected and licking your lips suggestively before lying down next to Cillian.

‘Too fucking close Y/N’ Cillian said, still panting. ‘You won’t be going on top the next time you want me to pull out’ he said.

‘I am sorry. I just totally lost control’ you said as you curled up against Cillian’s chest.

‘I could tell. I hope your parents didn’t hear you’ he said with a slight chuckle before kissing you gently.

That night, you really wanted to stay with him, but you knew that you couldn’t and, after another few minutes of kisses and cuddles, you returned to your room quietly.

When you returned to your room you decided to change into your comfortable snoopy pyjamas which your mum had given you. They weren’t exactly sexy, but warm.

But, just as you stepped out of your black lace panties, you noticed a small amount of shimmery white liquid on the inside of them.

Hoping that it wasn’t what you thought it was, you ran your finger through your wet slit in anguish and observed a little more of it.

Perhaps the close call was too close after all.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #smut #agegap #fanfic

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