#im. not looking at that overdue one i cant see it

[naenaex0xx]

I just wanna go back to sleep..

[todayisafridaynight]

Anon... It's not that Masato/Aoki has muscle. He's just 6,1 and snap is being game accurate now.

now im being game accurate 😩

[aakaneeee]

I've had my drabble, now it's time for actual theories and parallels since I haven't done that in a while and it's long overdue

first of all, I love to see Alien Stage art slowly but surely falling into the obvious eerie side.

I have a lot to say about all of these, but I specifically want to focus on Luka for this.

When I first saw the branding, I wondered why it was there. I was confused, because I expected it to be on the heart (which was also proven to be false in the 2nd anniversary pop up store).

then, I looked closer: left hip.

there are actually a lot of stuff to associate with his branding (except it looking slutty IM SORRY YALL I CANT HELP MYSELF)

The left hip is also the place where horses are branded. Specifically, pedigree horses. Again, not only does it show possession, but also him being superior to others.

For men, that specific area is one of the most painful. (insert tattoo pain chart)

it might seem like it's on yellow since it's just a little lower than the belly button, but 1. The belly button on this chart is really high and 2. It could just be perspective, and it'd make a lot of sense for him to be branded in the most painful way possible. doesn't that sound heperu to you?

3. he isn't under anesthesia. even mizi, who had a "least pain" area, seemed to be under anesthesia. but no, he wasn't. this leads me to my next point:

4. We know Heperu thinks the only way to make a good pet is fear. So, what if he specifically chose that area, so Luka could actively see, and even have to hold his shirt up himself? He wants him to fear, and he wants him to know who he belongs to. It seems he really doesn't have limits in showing that.

Okay, those are the stuff I've noticed about this, but now I have a parallel.

This might be a little bit of a reach so take it with a grain of salt!!

Ivan's branding is on his wrist: a secure, hidden place, where others wouldn't be able to see it, as if he actually had more freedom than other humans, being seen more as a business partner than like a pet.

Youd think Luka is the same, afterall, his branding is on his hip, and we didn't see anyone wearing crop tops and low rise pants yet.

No, but all of his outfits have an open back and a cut in the front.

Considering the pacing of his songs, and the turns he made in Round 5, we could possibly imagine that the material would move away, and it would show his branding, atleast a little bit. Like a silent reminder, both for Luka and for the audience, that he is not his own person, but someone who is owned. It feels like Heperu is so prideful that he wants to take merit for Luka's voice, as if taking advantage of an actual condition he has was what brought him up in the charts, and that Luka's work is equal to nothing, because he did everything. That's what Heperu thinks, and that's what he wants the audience to think, as well.

Another perfect example of this is the photo next to the branding.

Taking Sua's photo, we can see the signatures or scribbles are darker, and even though crazier, they still make her the center of it, while still maintaining some color.

For Luka, the backround is blank. Just grey. He doesn't have the teal that Sua had, or even a light yellow to show light. More importantly, the signatures are all over him. Showing that he is a prized possession, a trophy, that doesn't actually have anything of his own, that is completely under his owner and his fans, despite him supposedly having more 'freedom' than other pets because he already won a season. (This freedom being an obvious lie.)

Sua is looking left. Luka is directly facing the camera, but you can barely even tell, his eyes are covered by his hair.

Again, another small reach, but we know he doesn't really enjoy bright lights. (sweet dream as proof)

I was wondering if this could be even more proof of him having even more conditions than what they've let on.

Specifically, Leukocoria.

Leukocoria represents your pupil shining white or grayish-yellow instead of red, and it signals grave damage inside the eye.

(Photo from Google, don't sue me)

It looks very close to Luka's pupils, right?

there are also these two official arts in which he's wearing glasses.

they seem to be quite thin, so whatever the reason for him wearing them is not that bad.

so i was wondering: could it be a case of cataract?

HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

his eyes are a very pale color, and pale irises can be a sign of cataract.

people with cases of cataract that aren't too bad, even though surgery is recommended, can see better if they wear glasses.

and leukocoria can be caused by cataract.

maybe that's the reason he's hiding his eyes from the light here with his hair? his eyes are sensible to light?

i know this is really long but i hope you all don't mind too much, luka is my favourite (if you couldn't tell) and this new information awakened my medical knowledge :)

sorry if some stuff don't make sense, as always, english is not my first language, I hope it's atleast a bit coherent!

(tagging some people because I think you'd like to see this.... @shakingparadigm @sotogalmo @paradisedisconcert @m1zisua @junebluues @bluemoonscape @4listr @nottoonedin @pwippy SORRY IF ANY OF YALL DIDNT WANT TO BE TAGGED)

[stick-ball]

I WAS LOOKING FOR A JEREMY BPD/ANGER ISSUES POST I THOUGJT I HAD SEEN THIS MORNING PLEASE WRITE YOUR HEADCANNONS AGAIN I BEG OF YOU GIVE JEREMY KNOX THE LOVE HE DESERVES

Okay so this is long overdue, but might as well. I guess this is an observation of fandom Jeremy as much as the canon one, so don't come at me.

I dunno read Jeremy as having BPD bcs... bcs honestly have you ever met anyone who has Sunshine shining from their ass? Me neither. Though I have met ppl with severe personality issues who had a coping mechanism like that, of course they weren't young and talented sportsmen looked up to by many ppl and rooted for by many, so they had enough free space and privacy to go absolutely fucked up at other ppl when they were having bad brain hours.

Yes im including myself here.

The name of the game is If I Give Them No Reason to Leave Me They Won't.

Or If I Give Them No Things To Hate Me For They Won't Hurt me.

But spice it up with black and white thinking, paranoia and unhelathy behaviours jumping off the standard spectrum of bottling things out into like, going on a 4 hour run to cool off bcs you are undeserving bcs you are a bad captain bcs you're annoyed at the freshmen bcs they dont care about your shared goals enough and is thay really a them issue? Or is it actually a You issue? Are you blaming others for your own failures again? Look at yourself, you're fucking pathetic, and egoistic at that, you demand things from others but how do you show you care for what others need huh? You think you're a good captain? Keep telling yourself that, before you know it they will all turn against you. Because you're a failure, bcs you cant even make them care? Maybe you're just not a good enough player , or maybe they can see straight through you, see what you are udnerneath the happy exterior. Yo have just not good enough, not trying hard enough, and you want them to look up to.. to That???

Or maybe it is a them issue bcs fuck that, fuck the smiling, fuck the caring, you don't actually care, if they don't care, why would you? 🤔 you don't owe anyone anything you are so done with everyone and everything cant they LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE, HAVENT YOU DONE ENOUGH TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE SMALL THING GO RIGHT ONCE? YOU ARE SO FUCKKNG ANGRY so you have to do something you feel like smashing something, you could, your body is literally a machine, you could show them what you actually think about their Opinions, how pathetic and annoying they are and actually fuck that you have to leave you cant stand being in the same room as them for one second longer.

But the sunshine Jeremy 🌞 exterior slips on so even though you want to crash the doors closed you smile and wave and say something stupid and cheery you even have a fucking spring in your step.

Bcs you're a fucking liar a fucking impostor you can't help it at this point you are a clay figurine that's hollowed out inside.

You are so tired it's like there's a lump of cloth absolutely soaked weighting on your lungs

You actually feel like crying while you wave at alvarez from the stretch of the corridor, making goddamn plans to meet up for group studying maths later in the evening while your lungs constrict holding down a sob.

You hate them all for the next 3 hours.

And then on hour four while you're circling the campus heading back from your walk/jog/run/staring into the distance/jog again you tap into the very comfortable very familiar hating of yourself.

This is a light version of course but I bet Jeremy is that person that dissapears sometimes like at parties ect bcs they are doing some absolutely stupid shit like having sex with a complete stranger or getting drunk but they know enough about the emptiness and self hatred they will feel ten minutes after they succumb to thay behaviour that they learned to do it when the judgment of the ppl who know them won't touch this piece of him. Bcs it feels like a separate piece.

Like he is parcelled into different breeds of fucked up inside and they are all set on a loop in a music playing machine from a highway diner. One song ends another starts you can choose which one if you throw in a dime.

And also we gotta add in the sensory issues, he sees things, he hears them, sometimes he does a dodge while there's nothing coming bcs he thought it was. Some weeks it feels almost he lives from one training to the next bcs he doesn't remember a minute from what's in between. Good thing he taught himself this sunny persona bcs its an autopilot mode that gets him having to answer the least amount of questions when he doesn't fucking remember what happened from 8 am till late afternoon that day.

[onejellyfishplease]

So, I noticed that Tinker-the-dragon showed you storyboards of their own animatic (which looks great btw, can't wait to see it), and since you said you enjoyed seeing the process, I figured I'd do the same! After all, having people acknowledge and get excited for my WIPs gives me a sense of accountability to finish it, which makes it much more likely to actually get done.

So, behold my chaotic, colorful rough sketches!

The process is slow-going, since I am simultaneously working on a couple other creative projects, some are tangentially related to this one (like how I'm finalizing my headcanon designs for all the turtles beyond just Donnie), and some aren't (like drawing long overdue art of my D&D party's characters).

I'm also making some guesses/taking some liberties when it comes to the timeline. Like, I'm assuming that this AU takes place post S2 finale, and thus will take place in the new lair, but I don't actually know. (If this has been addressed in asks before, I'm probably too new of a fan of SnapDonnie to have paid attention to those asks, and don't have the attention span to scroll through a ton of asks just to obtain a specific bit of information)

Similarly, I don't know exactly at what point Donnie starts attracting flies. It might not be as early as I'm depicting here. I can certainly move that part to a later section, but I don't know what I'd replace it with.

In general, if you have suggestions for things to be changed/switched around to better fit with the 'canon' of SnapDonnie, I'd love to hear it. It's better to make changes now while things are still very rough and flexible, than once I'm more committed and frames have taken quite a bit more effort to make.

Sorry for the super long 'ask,' this ended up being a bit of an info-dump lol.

WHA- YOURE MAKING ONE TOO????

thats so cool omg!! And im just gonna go a bit crazy over the frames if u dont mind me~ BUT THE ONE WITH THE SHADOW??? thats literally so creative im obsessed with it. I love cinematic shots like that, they just make my brain buzz <3

and the one where hes doing thumbs up to Raph absolutely cracked me up!

Also to answer your questions- SnapDonnie takes please after the movie, So Raph has a blind eye and hole in his shell/plastron, Mikey has his scars (though u cant drawing them in bandages to aviod drawing them if i want -i always forget to draw them lol) and Leo has a leg brace.

And as for the flies, Donnie starts to attract them basically immediately once the physical changes start, though he basically douses himself with insect repellent at first (while he still wants to repel them) So frames 24 and 25 would go after he really starts to change instead of before.

Hope that helps!! It looks amazing so far! <3

[mcl38]

they haven't quite turned on vcarb the way they did mclaren but from what i've read that seems to be bc daniel keeps saying "it's not the same problem as mclaren" when like idk dude if the only time you've finished a race ahead of yuki was bc you got put on softs at the end of the race it is smelling very shades of mexico '22 to me. just without the having to make up a time penalty bc u punted yuki off the track.

i can say yuki is already getting the lando treatment though. "hOW MANY RACES HAS HE WON AND YOU DARE SAY HES PERFORMING BETTER THAN AN 8 TIME GP WINNER?" (ya i'll go to the top floor of my apartment and shout it into the void through a megaphone too what are you going to do about it) only this time there's a heavy dose of racism added in. the amount of people i have seen calling yuki a "pokémon" derogatorily and refusing to admit the racist connotations there are wild. not to mention the ableist terms i've seen be used to refer to his height. it's all very gross and yet again daniel says nothing to even try to prevent it. it's wild how someone always has to get harassed by his fans regardless of if he fails or succeeds.

ok so like first of all yikes. i rly rate yuki but im v selective w my online (especially my tumblr)

experience so i rly almost never venture out of my mclaren-centred bubble, which means i never rly see what ppl say abt him. 'pokemon' is actually vile like thats so clearly racist bc its not even a pun of his name at all or any sort of reference to his personality?? AND the fact that its a cartoon w the infantilising implications of that... ku's essay on the infantilisation of east asian drivers u will always be famous.... like u guys ever noticed how nyck is also rly short and has a youthful face and nobody ever talked abt him in the way they talk abt yuki? much to think abt

now. permission to be mean here but even if its 'not the same problem as mclaren' is the problem not STILL the fact that daniel in his 10+ year career hasnt bothered to understand the way the engineering of f1 cars works in like any material way and thats the reason he always struggles to identify his driving issues / has a disconnect with his chassis unless its tailored exactly to what he already likes and knows how to drive? i saw that bit from newey's book about how max and checo give rly good feedback and so did webber and vettel and it was kind of subtly implying that during the bit in between (the daniel era) he designed less effective cars be he wasnt getting enough precise feedback.... i genuinely havent been able to sleep at night since. like it felt like smth slotted in my head like aaaah this has been the problem all along. if only daniel wasnt so busy going on podcasts making fun of the idea of women in motorsport and actually spent some time to do some way overdue physics homework... lol. Imao even

the truth of the situation is yuki is in the best form of his career and also wiping the floor w daniel. like factually so. EVEN with team orders favouring daniel so his fans cant say its bc of that like they did with mclaren. i genuinely think its quite sad the amount of personal stock daniel fans have clearly invested in this mans career and how much it bothers them when he doesnt perform to their expectations - like he's ur driver, swallow it and accept it, because thats what he's been doing to try to move on. doing all this intense online hate bullshit only makes him look bad bc it highlights how badly and for how long he rly has been embarrassingly underperforming. but by this point it feels like they WANT him to underperform bc they crave that martyr underdog victimised figure to root for and fight for - which is why ur totally right anon, that someone always inevitably gets harrassed regardless of if daniel is failing or succeeding. 

i will say one thing which is that i rly dont think daniel is at all aware of whatever the fuck his fans do on twitter and instagram (and deffo not tumblr lmao). so i dont think this is an issue of like him telling his fans to chill out - and it doesnt work anyways, bc lando literally has made talking abt how much cyberbullying sucks a part of his personality and theres still some rly mean and hateful lando fans (not in a fun way like me<3 lol) (i hate on my own blog and in discord groupchats). so like thats not necessarily on him, its more on netflix for making him the lowest common denominator guy to like, ykwim? also the unfortunate reality is that despite the tshirts and the kneeling (or no kneeling) no one rly seems to stand up to defend the drivers of colour who literally constantly get SUCH vitriol thrown towards them w any occasion. im not expecting daniel of all ppl to say anything abt it ngl

[tea-and-formaldehyde]

tw vent i suppose.

can i just say. i am not hanging by a thread. i am not hanging at all. i am at the bottom of the cliff alone and sad desperately waiting for someone to save me because there is not an ounce of comfort I can find in anyone except people i rarely see. and by rarely i mean rarely. And instead i am slowly going deeper and deeper into a cave i found that only gets sadder and quieter and darker.

I like being alone but sometimes i just need a friend to sit next to me and tell me that my life will get better and that I will love myself again and i wont stop being so mean. when i dont want to be mean. i need someone i can cry next to.

im sad and lonely at the bottom of a cliff, waiting for someone to come and help because i feel like i cant live without someone beside me yet i have no one. I am looking up at the sky wishing i could be up there with everyone else.

im always so scared with everything i do, as if someone will hate me for simply saying hello. sometimes i think that maybe this is all just in my head and that im doing fine and that im not wishing i was someone completely different because my own reflection feels so alien to me. it looks like a different person to who i feel i am.

ive got so many things due and overdue, so many people i never talk to, so many decisions i regret.

i sometimes wish i wasnt a living being so i didnt have to worry

because sometimes im happy but sometimes i wake up to reality

but no one will help. i'll only be denied and turned down. my parents when i say anything always argue with me and tell me that im just thinking it in my head and that its just me and that i shouldnt give a goddamn shit at my age but theyre not me so idk how they could say that because they feel so entitled to making me like them theyre acting like i belong to them like im their property like i have to be what they want me to be and they do that to my siblings and everything around me is falling and i cant possibly sweat enough about the sadness and anger that boils inside me when i think about this because i try so hard yet no one accepts it and everyone denies that i can do anything at all without instantly failing and i cant fucking take it anymore i want to scream and cry and hit my head against a wall and the floor and break glass and bones and sometimes i think of hurting people but i know i cant do that but at the same time i do but even when i speak i hate it i cant do anything without hating it and yet.

you. the people who understand me. the people who say such positive things about me. the people who are honest good which are the people i havent even seen the face of. i am on the verge of being so desperate that i trust people i havent even met because i dont have anyone. im young. im a kid. a minor. this is too much on my shoulders and i just want to live how i want and yet people in my life say that i cant do that.

so can i ask

who is here at the bottom of the cliff with me.

who is here at the edge of the deeper cave im about to crawl into

who is here with me

though i cannot see you

i love you and i wish you all the best

because i feel so alone

and i feel so thankful for your company even if it is short

[verynastyspoon]

Brokeback Mountain (alternate happy ending)

Warnings: Smut and Mention of murder

———————————————————

Ennis and Jack were up on brokeback mountain. The sun was setting, a fire is burning and Ennis and Jack are having a long overdue conversation

“Me and Lureen divorced.” Jack said looking up at Ennis. 

“Oh, sorry.” Ennis takes a swig of whiskey.

“Ennis,” Jack sighs “what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Jack pulls Ennis close by his jacket.

“Ennis we’re both divorced now, and I don’t wanna spend another moment away from you. Whats stopping us from just living out in a cabin in the middle of nowhere?”

“Our kids, our jobs, getting beaten to death for being queer. The list goes on Jack.”

“Im sick of being fucking miserable Ennis!” Jack stands up. “Having to spend every god damn day alone not being able to be who I am, I’m fucking sick of it! Life is too short to stay living like this.”

“Jack do you think I fucking like this either!” Ennis puts his head in his hands and takes a deep breath.

Jack sits back down and puts a hand on Ennis shoulder. “We don’t have to, we can get new jobs and live in the middle of nowhere away from everyone who can hurt us.”

“What about our kids?”

“We both only get to see our kids once a month. We can move to a state in between Texas and Wyoming and when we get to see our kids stay in a hotel with them.”

“And how the hell would we afford all this.”

“Lureen was loaded and after the divorce I got half he money.” Jack takes Ennis face in his hands. “We have all the tools we need to be happy, the only thing stopping us is you.”

Ennis takes Jack hands off his face and takes them into his own. Ennis sits in thought for a while then looks up into Jack eyes. “You’re right Jack.” Ennis takes a deep breath. “Lets do it.”

Jack smiles brighter than he has in his whole life, happy tears brimming in his eyes as he pulls Ennis into a kiss. “I love you Ennis del mar.”

Ennis looks at him in shock not expecting the sudden confession. He pulls Jack into a hug and softly says. “I love you too Jack twist.” Ennis pulls Jack back into the kiss.

The kiss was different than normal. Most of the other ones were full of lust and intent, but this one was only showing their love and devotion for one another. Jack knocks of Ennis’s hat, running his fingers through his hair pulling him closer. Ennis runs in tongue along Jacks lips asking for entry which was quickly accepted. Their tongues move perfectly together after over a decade of practice.

Jack stands up taking Ennis with him, kissing all the way to the tent. He lays Ennis down and straddles his waist, kissing his neck and jawline. Jack unbuttons Ennis’s shirt, and kisses his way down after every button. Jack softly grinds against Ennis’s buldge, while rubbing his hands down Ennis’s newly exposed chest.

Ennis groans softly and pulls Jack back down into a quick kiss and starts unbuckling his pants. Jack gets the message and scoots down in between Ennis’s legs while unbuttoning his own shirt. Ennis pushes his pants and boxers down just enough for his half hard cock to pop out. Jack takes it into his hands pumping his cock to full length. He licks the underside of his cock from bottom to top before sucking on the tip. Ennis lets out a loud groan urging him to go deeper. Jack takes him in further into his mouth, bobbing his head up and down, using his hands for whatever he cant fit.

After a while of going this same rhythm Jack hollows out his cheeks and takes Ennis’s length as far as he can. Jacks gags but pushes through. He looks up at Ennis with tears in his eyes, dick all the way down his throat, pubes brushing against his nose looking absolutely pathetic. All Ennis can think about is how beautiful Jack looks choking on his cock.

“Fuck,” Ennis groans, pulling Jack off his length with a loud slurp. He makes quick work of Jack’s pants, switching positions, Ennis now straddling the others waist. Jack kicks his pants the rest of the way off as Ennis spits on his fingers and prods at Jack hole. One finger slips in with ease, quickly followed by a second. They pull each other into a passionate kiss, as Ennis scissors Jack open.

Ennis pulls back and grabs his cock, rubbing it against Jacks already abused hole. Jack wraps his legs around Ennis, urging him to thrust in. He complies and slowly pushes into Jack’s tight hole. They both groan in approval, cuddling there for a moment, not moving, just enjoying their shared love for each other. Ennis dips his head into Jack shoulder breathing in his scent, as he slowly starts to move. They hold each other, both softly kissing anything within reach.

Ennis puts his hands under Jacks ass, giving him more leverage and a better angle. They move faster, starting to desperately grind against each other. Ennis starts trying different angles trying to find the others prostate, when he does Jack lets out a high pitch moan.

This sinful sound of wet ploping and groans is all that can be heard within brokeback moutian. Jack cums first, involuntary squeezing around the others cock. Ennis pushes in as far as he can and cums deep within Jack.

They both lay there basking in post orgasm bliss, enjoying each others presence.

——————————————————————————

Authors note: This is my first fic! I would love some constructive criticism to help me get better.

[sixosix]

girl (/gn) i totally get you esp about being a xiao kisser.. like?? imagine being so down bad for your main but you can barely write him as good as you do for the rest of your faves :')) BUT BRO (/gn) I SERIOUSLY LOOOOVE ALL YOUR FICS!! the moment i found you, binged each n every one >:)) it's okay, xiao will find his time to shine, so much so that you'll feel super proud once it happens.

ANYWHOOOO!! here is the brainrot that i got, i really hope that i sent this at a good time, otherwise feel free to just let this float away~ (also i'm so, so hooked by thawed. lyney had absolutely no right to be so delulu over the reader- I LEGIT GIGGLED WHEN LYNETTE SAID PROPOSED TO THE READER COME AWNNN!!! lyney, honey, i will shake you by the shoulders.)

promise by laufey, right?

i personally think this song has such a very.. hurt, hurt, hurt, comfort and then more hurt, but at last, comfort vibe. it fits both boys - both lyney and aether. they are so magnificent, shining brightly on their own- one on a stage and the other across nations. pulling away from them hurts like a bitch, because their love felt like a warm embrace that burned like a bandage each time you tried to yank away.

being with them was like heaven. being with them brought you the kind of joy that eternal paradise would supply. being with them .. archons, being with them felt like their mere presence could shelter you away from the darkness of the world.

and it hurts to be something.

because being with them meant danger. meant arguments- ones that neither of you can win. it spelled disaster with each wound, and caused misery with each day left alone to one's devices. being with them meant that you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit- oh, you've done the math. there was no solution, and there was no way to force you — a mere extra puzzle piece — to fit their masterpiece.

yet it's worse to be nothing with them.

ok n then that's the end of my brainy brainrot.. the second last verse in the song:

So I broke my promise

I called you last night

I shouldn't have, I wouldn't have

If it weren't for the sight of a boy

Who looked just like you

Standing out on Melrose Avenue

can you imagine just how beautiful it would be to imagine a scene where you taught you mistook the sight of the one closest to your heart, and in an act of desperation and longing, you try to hurry and contact them. shaky hands and shivering figure, your heart practically weeping with overdue worry and grief of your past relationship, only to find them also looking for you- as if it was fate. clinging to each other and pouring your hearts out into the only two souls that could hear you two.

AHHH THAT'S IT THOO,,, hope you didn't mind the brainrot, i totally really just "hm user sixosix would very much enjoy this idea methinks" BUT I DID NOT PLAN THIS OUT VERY WELL. hope you're having a good day, afternoon, evening, night!! ❤️

HI!!! i see ur reblogs a lot so its rlly rlly nice to see u interacting more and more often! :D im soso happy u like thawed. that series is my baby. ALSO its rlly cute u thought id like this idea BC I DO!!! wow. U get me.

your writing is soso pretty :( ITS POETRY!!! i love it and how u captured the feel of the song (which is just pain) and the “you were forced to watch your stunning significant other play a perfect part in a life you don't think you fit” OHHH!!! thats the shit i live for. realizing that you dont fit in w the life he lives in. Pain.

what i think is that this song fits aether the most !!! OUUUGHH you knowing that aether has to leave teyvat eventually but u cant help but long for him THATS THE GOOD SHIT “we’ll never last / why can’t i let go of this?”

“i made a promise to distance myself” BC u know that you have to stop caring so u dont get hurt when he leaves!!!!’

this song is beyond perfect tysm for sharing this w me!! Ough now i may end up writing this and blame it on you bc its so perfect 😭😭😭

[selamat-linting]

there was a few things i missed and got wrong on my homestuck liveblog yesterday. first of all, i mistook terezi with kanaya with that morallegiance chat with vriska. makes sense, they used to be roleplay buddies until that mess of an incident. not taking away vriska's responsibility from that clusterfuck but, wonder how much of it is doc scratch influence. good god girl, why are you gambling with a literal god? also WHY rose is trusting that white ball asshole? i dont like him at all. he's basically responsible to a lot of the mess the trolls and beta kids is going through.

anyway, at the last page i left off, terezi and vriska's attitude towards each other is largely shown in the boy-off with dave and john. with karkat screaming in the background (he always screams in the background). so its easy to miss that theyre very much in a weird complicated, frenemy state with each other. that in between space where you're not sure if theyre genuinely fucking hates each other or theyre ribbing on each other like two meanspirited friends do. i've been there sister, i've been there.

speaking of vriska (again, because she is my child who has every disease), oh her relationship/friendship with tavros is very conflicted and, i dare say, delicious? this is something that im sure would hit even harder if tavros wasnt relegated to the butt of ableist jokes more than he's treated as a character but. trust me. imagine youre tavros. your friend(?) is vriska. she crippled you, she saved your life, she berates you at every turn, she kissed you. deep down she only wants best for you. she wanted you to kill her. she wanted you to hate her enough to do it. she doesnt want to bleed to death alone. she's begging you to kill her. she's could have forced you to do it but she doesnt. because this is for you both to grow stronger and survive. thats all she wanted all along. for you both to thrive in a world that eats you alive. she needs you to kill her. oh god *head in hands*

-so its really really sad to see vriska being so lonely after killing tavros. she dug a hole too deep to get out alone and the remaining friends she had that could have accepted her again are all dead or too burned out of her. i wish they both can meet each other again. just to talk and find closure. like, tavros deserves to be angry with vriska and he deserves to have that peace he always wanted from her. and vriska deserves to start being a better person and getting some peace of mind. she deserves a chance, is all im saying. like, its okay if tavros cant give it to her. but some of her friends could. maybe terezi? the worst they ever do to each other in terms of direct harm is the eye injury. or maybe karkat? oh god i dont want to hear them arguing, i would go deaf!

-at least vriska has john! its nice to see them being friends with each other. Tbh john has been a breath of fresh air (hehe) in all the doom and gloom. im not looking forward to him meeting his dead dad but right now, my boy is walking around the village with one of the finest music i heard so far. and then he drive a flying car with WV. its just, he is so positive and amidst a set of characters who lost all of their innocence, he remains as the one guy who tries to enjoy the game and take everything in stride. he felt smug when the salamanders keep referencing in his title, he bought everyone hats and snacks, he gave moral support to vriska. the harley and egbert family is so positive about everything and its so endearing!

-AND JADE! fuck yeah she's starting to show how awesome she is. YES JADE say fuck you to karkat! its been long overdue!!! she also should say fuck you to vriska too as a treat. and fuck you to tavros too. and fuck you to that prince of hope (more like doom lol) who blew up her computer. she deserve monetary compensation to deal with that troll polycruel.

-special mention to dave btw. i dont remember him doing anything particularly exciting lately but i believe he's the one carrying the team. john and jade had to do their quest to be effective in defeating the english demon guy (the brits are all demons lol) and rose had to be their prime researcher and strategist, so he basically did the save everyone's ass part. i cant wait to see him hang out with terezi. Also is it bad of me to want him go godtier? Like, it would be interesting.

-and other time aspect characters i want to appreciate, aradia! babygirl have finally get rid of her hopelessness and come back to life! and now she's bringing the gang back together!!! and putting the pieces on why gamzee suddenly breaks. too bad gamzee never had a chance to show his personality. anyway, im starting to think i was wrong about lil cal. like, i think it was posessed but oh no its just bro moving him around, but somehow that fucking puppet is the one wrapped up in literally everything. aradia finds that shitty doll and somehow its connected to gamzee losing it and the game sgurb and doc scratch and... whats going on????

-in conclusion, timebound kids are always the one carrying the team. they are hard to find but theyre the one who could determine how you win or lose the game.

-but how can i forget? kanaya! she came through. i really thought she was dead! but she is alive, and she kills people with a chainsaw than apply lipstick to her bloodstreak lips. she is trying so hard to be Hinged. final girl behavior fr. i wonder how she's going to meet rose again. i hope she talked rose out of that suicide mission.

-and can we talk about karkat? man, imagine leading an army of kids who did kill and maim each other before the game even starts. imagine being the lowest of the social hierarchy and trying to make the most toxic friendgroup filled with racists and murderers to listen to you. imagine being able to do that despite all the odds, bring them to victory, and have the price right on your hands only for it to be ripped away and your friends devolve into chaos and murder several hours later. its a failure of untold magnitude. no wonder he's so disturbed and angry at himself and everyone.

-okay now that im done with the characters. i want to compliment how good everyone looks. the art and the fashions are all sooo amazing. the talksprite is also wonderful. im inclined to change my pfp into feferi's talksprite because i like her design so much. also because hooray! She's just dead, not corrupted by horrorterrors. in my mind she is laughing at tavros and doomed dave rap battle while surrounded by beautiful scenery

-also, i cant believe infinite stairs are referenced AGAIN with sollux and karkat. and SMUPPET ASS JOKE? on tavros dead body? lmao. okay i need to see smuppet ass on dave again. he was just so funny with it. and karkat shipping craze with jadesprite and jade. the jokes are really good, fr

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

🪲🥑🛼

....

since its just showing me boxes ill assume you meant the wip one- send another ask if you didnt, saying what emojis they r bc i cant tell-

add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here.

man i dont got a current wip 😭😭 my writing ass has been so backed up by stuff (overdue assignments for 3 months straight) uhhh let me. search my docs

uh. this is a wip fic of an 80s movie called Overboard. frankly idk what possessed me to even begin this but there was too much tension between the romantic lead (complete asshole) and his best friend

ok this is like. pre-movie to movie to post-movie but this is pre-movie, they're 15 and 13. god i wish it was a NATM fic instead so this wasnt as embarrassing sokjnhb

in the cut below

Dean nodded, pulled his hand away. “Hm. Fifteen.” He said, shoving his hands back into his pockets. He seemed like he was just talking to Billy because he had nothing better to do—which was fine with Billy, because really, neither did he. And if he was going to talk to anybody, at least it was with someone he would get to know.

“…Do we have the same classes?” Billy asked, and Dean didn’t look at him when he answered.

 “How would I know? You haven’t even started yet.”

 And that was… a pretty good answer, since Billy felt a little embarrassed he even asked. It was a dumb question. But he did reexamine the other kid in front of him. He seemed like trouble, looked like trouble, and if he looked close enough, he could see that Dean’s knuckles had healed scabs over them. Like he had punched someone, or something. He probably did.

i went like 5 words above 150 im sorry-

[nosoulsheresorry]

if life isnt about death

and it is, as they say, about finding and molding your own meaning

what happens when your meaning leaves

when it walks away from you without a note

without anything to hold onto?

because i dont want memories

i want a person, here

and i want them to hear me

and i cant i cant i just cant do this not now not ever really

what do you do when you start spiralling again?

what do you do when you can pinpoint every repeating warning sign?

what do you do when this time theres no one here to stop you?

when no one is around to talk you out of it?

when you thought you could handle your own only to notice all-too-late that youre spiralling again

do you reach out?

you only want one specific person your one specific meaning

but its gone now without a trace without a return label

do you mother yourself?

you cant, thats just one more sign one more repetition

youve done this before, you know where it leads

do you call a professional?

with what money

and what time

and what will

and what white woman this time

do you get high and fulfill that prophecy that you once got so close to?

with what money

youll steal

and you wont feel shameful

its hard to when everything depends on the 20 extra bucks you need

there is no protocol for this

and if there was

it would not end with

“get under the sheets again, phone in one hand and wax in the other”

everything feels so absurd when you get like this doesnt it?

everything feels ridiculous, silly, unreal, unimportant

the only thing important is saving yourself

how do you do that?

there is an urgency here

like i need to figure this out right here right now

because i dont want to know what happens if i dont

because last time, i didnt have to know what happens

because last time, i didnt save myself, i wasnt left to my own devices

last time, i got saved

i got grounded

and im not looking to get fixed

i just want to make it all bearable

i want to calm down

i want to be able to sleep again

i want to be able to be sober again

i want to be able to be sober, there is no again

what do you do

how do you alleviate it

how do you make it tolerable

because it feels like everything is crashing down

it feels like its been overdue and now im running behind

it feels like if only someone could carry this with me

it feels like if only my meaning hadnt jumped out my window

it feels like no matter what i do, ill always end up here in the end

if feels like maybe its selfish to drag someone else into this

if i cant handle living through it

if i am here wishing for a way to plan it

then how can i expect someone to stand by

how i can i justify putting someone through a fraction of what im going through

if they arent planning, they shouldnt have to hear of someone planning

you hate to hear peoples sob stories about it

why give anyone yours?

but id give him mine in a heartbeat

and there i am again

same old tired lonely place

building a mythical boy

loving a mythical boy

blaming his material counterpart for not measuring up

so what now

we’ve circled all the way around

so what now

if not a boy, if not a therapist, if not drugs, and if no not ever yourself,

then what now

now i go to sleep

i wake up tomorrow and brush my teeth

i find a reason to brush the tears off

to see the blanket as what it is, immobile

and i hope and pray that my reason doesnt end up circling back to the boy

and i go to sleep

[mrfoox]

I know im a broken record but I really just wish I could find some happiness or at least peace that lasts for more than 5 mins when I'm alone

[cheerstofuckedupyearz]

Ya’know what?? I’m tired. That is what.

[vamossainz55]

Moonlight Ch. 4 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hey guys! this is long overdue i know but here is chapter 4. if i'm fully honest i am not too proud of this one, i feel like something's a bit off in the writing? (i cant tell what though). i tried fixing it a few times but im not too sure how to either. i promise the next few chapters will be better. a lot is going on and there's a lot of development so i hope you enjoy <33 (its also a bit longer than usual). anyways superproud of carlos' race yesterday bc the ferrari was not giving and happy to see him in the podium again as always constructive criticism is always appreciated <3

warnings: maybe swearing and alcohol consumption? that's about it.

enjoy! <3

read chapter 3 here

Chapter Four (5.3k words)

Whatever little hope you had of you and Carlos peacefully coexisting dwindled down the moment he had left you in the room. It was embarrassing but the moment you stepped out you had rushed to the bathroom, feeling a weird twisting feeling pulling at your chest. 

You had locked the door behind you as soon as you entered the bathroom stall, sitting on the closed toilet lid as you tried to take a deep breath. Get it together. You think to yourself, slowly wiping at your cheeks when you feel them get wet. 

You didn’t know what you had expected from that conversation but it definitely wasn’t what had unfolded. A part of you knew Carlos was right, you could’ve reached out to him, but a part of you was also angry. 

The words you had told him keep ringing in your ears, and yeah it was true. You weren’t friends. But seeing the way Carlos’ demeanor changed had you feeling sick. 

Carlos does take your words seriously though because the next few days it’s clear that he’s trying to drive you insane. It’s petty little things, like taking the seat you were sitting in and making you move, closing the elevator door on you, or even giving you the wrong time for meetings or confusing information. 

The first few times are fine but you feel anger and annoyance begin to bubble inside of you and you find your own way of retaliation. You mess up with his papers, hand him the wrong specs, tell him the wrong meeting room. Anything you could think of really. 

It’s petty and you feel like you’re ten again but you can’t deny the little feeling of satisfaction whenever you get back at him. It’s amazing how you both manage to sabotage one another to the point where you’re both at wit's ends but still manage to successfully work. 

It had been a week or two since you and Carlos had started to mess with each other and you’re rushing to your last meeting of the week, only having noticed that you had it since Carlos had scheduled you in only three minutes beforehand, but you’re used to it really, only apologizing to Tom when you enter the room. 

You pause for a bit when you realize it‘s only you three there but you find time to discreetly give Carlos an annoyed look before you're sitting with them at the table.

“Sorry- I hate to be the person to add a late meeting on a Friday but I actually wanted to run some things with Carlos and thought you could help with the notes?” Tom asks and you can’t help but hold back a sigh. 

“Yeah, of course.” You say, pulling up your laptop before Tom pulls up some data on his own to show Carlos. The first few minutes pass by quickly but soon enough you’re closely listening to their discussion, frowning when you hear Tom disagree with Carlos’ point on the break. You don’t mean to talk but before you know it you’re butting in. 

“I think Carlos is right on this one.” You say quietly and they both give you a look. You chew the inside of your cheek before you’re pulling some of your own papers, pointing to some numbers. Carlos is quiet, a puzzled look flashing on his face but you just simply shrug at him when Tom looks over the data. Work is work and you weren’t going to sabotage that for him. 

It becomes a thing when Tom starts inviting you to join most of his one on ones with Carlos and it is never discussed but the dynamic slightly shifts. Sure there were still some comments here and there but overall things with Carlos do get better. You even share a smile or two with him when Tom seems to make a mistake, but getting along with Carlos was still reserved for only those moments. 

Reality always slapped you in the face whenever both of you would randomly revert into snarky remarks whenever you weren’t discussing a track, statistics, and the car. Silence was the worst though, and it mainly happened whenever you both arrived first to the room, deciding to sit as far as possible and fiddle on your phones until Tom would arrive, unknowingly breaking the tension. 

You had just finished a two hour meeting with Tom, Carlos, and Peter, one of the other engineers in the team when you feel your stomach churn, feeling hungrier than usual especially since you had overslept and missed breakfast. Tom is already rushing to another meeting, quickly saying bye to you all and you take your time to get up.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Carlos asks and you look up a bit surprised. You’re about to answer when you realize he isn’t directing his question to you. He gives you a tight lipped smile before turning to Peter and his back is slightly facing you as a clear sign of no you’re not invited and you can’t help but sigh when Peter easily agrees before grabbing his things and getting up. Carlos doesn’t spare much of a look towards your direction before he’s heading off with him and you feel a slight prickle at your chest. 

The past few weeks had been tough as you hadn’t managed to connect with many people in the company. Sure you had a chat with some here and there but it was difficult to connect with many of them as everyone was so busy and they only talked about work really. You were also one of the younger ones and although you were getting more and more involved you still felt like most of them didn’t take you seriously (the price of being an intern really). 

You take this moment to check your watch, deciding to grab some lunch anyways as you were feeling quite hungry and you didn’t wanna let your stomach complain further. You head to the cafeteria, smiling and giving some people that you knew a small wave.

The menu in the cafeteria has your stomach growling louder. One of the best things of working in a lucrative Formula One team is that they did in fact know how to treat their employees. There was always a wide variety of options of food, from meat, to gluten-free, carb free and even vegan. The options were limitless and you always ended up wandering a bit too much around the cafeteria as you tried to figure out what you were gonna use as fuel for the day. 

“Heard the salmon and rice is good,” You hear someone say and you curiously turn around to find Lando holding his own tray of food that looks suspiciously like the pizza that was offered at the corner of the cafeteria. 

“Aren’t you supposed to have your own food?” You ask curiously, remembering how Carlos had complained to another colleague that he couldn’t always just pick at something in the cafeteria. And yeah, you realize that this was probably not the best opening introduction to a new and upcoming Formula One driver but what was done was done. 

Lando simply snorts and rolls his eyes. “As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s fine.” He says, giving you a shrug before continuing to watch you. It takes you a minute to realize that he’s staring because he’s waiting, and you sheepishly grab the salmon and rice. 

“Per-fect, let’s go.” He says before turning to go sit at one of the tables. You follow him, still a bit confused at how you got yourself into this situation, but having lunch with Lando wasn’t going to hurt. 

“I’m y/n by the way, not sure if you remember?” You say once you’re both seated. Lando is already picking up his pizza and taking a hefty bite, nodding as he chews and covers his mouth. You take this moment to grab a spoonful of your food. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm Lando,��� He says and you can’t help but roll your eyes at that with a smile on your lips. He gives you a confused look, raising his eyebrows at you as he takes a sip of his water. 

“I mean, I just found it funny that you felt the need to introduce yourself. I know you’re Lando.” You say and Lando gives you a nonchalant shrug as he puts his cup down. 

“Fair, but I mean I knew you were y/n already. You and Carlos know eachother” He says before taking another bite of his pizza. You have to set your spoon back down to look at him, not entirely sure if you had heard him right. For a second you wondered how much Carlos had told Lando.

You shift a bit in your seat and look around the cafeteria, soon spotting Carlos sitting at the table with Peter and he is looking at you both. He doesn’t even look away when your eyes meet and you’re the one that needs to crack as Lando clears his throat to catch your attention. 

“I just wanted to properly talk with you since it was in passing last time. I think we are one of the youngest ones here.” He says with a shrug, “But also I want to let you know whatever issue you have with Carlos, I don’t care.” He says with a shrug before smiling. “So if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” It sounds sincere and you can’t help but smile small at him, a bit embarrassed that he felt like he needed to make it clear.

“Thanks, it’s really not that deep. It’s fine.” You say to Lando reassuringly although you’re quite touched by the gesture. You had noticed that Carlos had been very proactive to know everyone no matter what department they were from, always happy to talk about the car, the development, and strategy. On the other hand Carlos barely ever gave you the light of day. It’s not like you could blame him really, the boundaries were clear when you had started. Even though you knew this it still sucked a bit to see everyone connecting with him whilst you both had to be forced to interact. 

“How much do you know?” You ask curiously, collecting more food with your sooon. 

“Just enough I guess.” Lando says and you bite back your tongue to not ask him for more information. “Although if we are friends you need to do me a favour.” Lando says, leaning closer to make sure you hear him. “You might have to sneak me a snack or two.” He murmurs. You feel Carlos’ eyes burning into you both but it doesn't faze you. You simply grin and nod. 

“Deal.” You agree, giving his hand a shake to seal it. 

____________________

Lando apparently did take the offer of being friends seriously because the next time he sees you in the cafeteria he invites you to join. It would’ve been a lot nicer if he wasn’t sitting next to a very awkward looking Carlos who clearly did not want you to join the table. You try your best to pretend to not hear him but it becomes ten times harder when Lando just raises his voice asking, “Do you wanna join?” You give another go at ignoring him but you stop in your tracks when you hear him say your name. 

“Y/n? Come sit with us.” It’s extra loud this time, and it is far enough that a few people are looking in your direction before shifting their eyes to Lando and Carlos who were sitting at their reserved drivers table. You give Lando and Carlos a smile before nodding and heading to their table, letting out a breath once everyone looks away. 

“If you didn’t wanna join you could’ve just said so,” Carlos says, taking a sip of his coffee and you roll your eyes. 

“You could’ve at least pretended to look like you wanted me here,” You snark back but Lando snaps his fingers to catch both of your attentions. 

“No arguing please/ We’re here for lunch.” He says. You set your tray down on the booth and look at them both. You think about sliding next to Lando but you see him sitting right at the edge so before giving it a second thought you slide into the booth next to Carlos, legs brushing lightly as you settle in the seat. Carlos doesn’t have much of a choice, simply shifting a bit to give you more space. 

“How are you guys?” You ask to the table as a way to ease the tension radiating off of Carlos. Lando is the first one to answer, rattling about how his home simulator was experiencing some glitches and how he had to call his brother over to fix some things. You nod along, setting your phone down after taking a look at the time to check for your next meeting. 

You turn a bit to Carlos, “And Carlos, how are you?” you ask as cordially as possible before taking a bite of your sandwich. Carlos shifts a bit to face you too, his eyes are looking around the way they always do when he is thinking and his hands are fiddling with his bracelet. 

“I’m fine. Excited for the weekend.” He says, looking over from you to Lando. It looks like he’s deliberating on telling you more or not but you see Lando shift and hear a small “Ay” from Carlos that helps you assume he had just gotten kicked. It’s not much but it is apparently enough to get Carlos to share more. 

“I just told Lando that one of my sisters is coming over this weekend” He says and your lips twitch to a smile, you had spent a lot of time with Carlos’ family when growing up and you hadn’t heard much of them in ages. One of the hardest things after the break up was saying goodbye to them too. 

“Ah really? Ana or Blanca?” You can’t help but ask. Carlos looks at you for a second, as if he was surprised that you remembered them both by name. 

“Ana actually,” Carlos says and you give him a small nod. 

“That’s cool. Tell her I said hi,” You say with a smile, going to take another bite of your food. You can feel Carlos’ eyes on you and there is a small lull in the conversation before Carlos is speaking up again. It takes you a moment to realize he’s directing the question at you, eyes still on you. 

“How are you?” He asks. It’s embarrassing but you feel a certain pressure release from your chest. It had been the first time Carlos was directing a proper conversation towards you. 

“I’m alright. Struggling a bit I guess?” You say truthfully, and you aren’t the type to share but before you know it you’re spilling a bit more than intended. “I haven't had the best time connecting with people, and I don’t really have friends outside of work at the moment .” You say truthfully, suddenly not wanting to look at them in the eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Ah- that’s nothing to worry about. You just need to go out a little. We can always do something. I told you, we’re friends now.”  Lando says and you let out a small laugh, his kindness warming your cheeks. 

“Of course, yeah. We’re friends” You laugh before nodding. “Okay, I might just take you up for it,” You say before the topic shifts to golf. You simply rest your chin in your palm, quietly listening to the two guys planning their next outing. 

___________________

To your surprise the driver that invites you out isn’t Lando, but it’s Carlos. It happens when you’re both having lunch together the next week, Lando having made it a tradition for you all to eat together.

The first few times were awkward but soon enough you and Carlos have small conversations here and there although Lando would clearly be the one talking with you both more. 

“You want me to what?” You ask Carlos, mainly in disbelief. He had briefly mentioned his plans with Ana to go to the city center to go shopping and he had looked over your direction, asking you if you wanted to join some time in the evening. 

“I told Ana you were here when she arrived and that you said hi and before I knew it she had a whole day out planned and you’re invited for dinner.” Carlos says quite sheepishly. “I tried saying no but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Ana never takes no for an answer.” You say, rolling your eyes fondly at her, a memory popping up in your head. “Remember that time she came with us to the cinema? You had told her not to come with us but she showed up anyway with a ticket.” You say without thinking, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Oh my god, yes. I haven’t let that one go yet.” Carlos says, letting out a proper laugh. 

“She did that?” Lando asks and you both nod.

“She’s always been like that. I think she crashed our first proper date too.” Carlos says with a chuckle, smiling before taking a sip of water. Your mind still lingers at the question and you find yourself giving him a small nudge, getting him to look over you. 

“I don’t mind showing up to see Ana but you can also tell her I don’t really want to join if you know, you aren’t very comfortable.” You say, already expecting him to take up your offer but he surprises you by shaking his head. 

“I think it’s fine, she’s missed you a lot actually. Could be nice, no?” Carlos says and you look at him for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah. When does she want to go out?” You ask, still a bit stunned. Carlos hums before opening his phone to check his calendar. He pinches his bottom lip with his fingers as he scrolls through his schedule before turning it to show you.

“I think she said Friday evening.” He says and you’re leaning a bit closer to look at the time before giving a nod. 

“I can do that,” You say, looking over at Lando when he begins complaining about you both ignoring him and you can’t help but snort when Carlos steals his hat from him. 

The week passes by quickly and Carlos and you begin to talk a lot more in the office. The awkward lulls and silences aren’t really there. Even Tom notices, making a few off hand comments about the both of you looking more cheery but both just shrug and brush it off. 

“So we’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?” Carlos asks once Tom is heading to his next meeting. You’re slowly tidying your things up, sending Bastien a quick text before you’re looking up at him. 

“Seven sounds good. Do you need my address?” You ask and Carlos nods, offering his hand out before nodding at your phone. You hand it over to him and watch him put in what you assume to be his number. 

“Just text me the address.” He says, picking up his things and you nod, quickly saving his number before grabbing your bag. “See you later.”

You get home a bit before six and you quickly go shower and change. There is a wave of excitement washing over you at the idea of going out. The past month you had been cooped up in your small apartment, and sure you had gone out by yourself every once in a while but you hadn’t gone out with anybody since you had gotten there. You mainly just stayed at home, watching shows, face timing Bastien or talking a bit with your sister sometimes. 

You’re ready thirty minutes early and decide to give Bastaan a quick call before leaving. You fix your hair a bit before holding your phone properly in front of your face, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hi baby,” He says with a smile once the line connects. He’s laying on the bed, shirt off. You squint a bit as you look over the screen as you fix your hair a bit more.  

“Hi my love. You’re in bed?” You ask curiously, leaning back onto the couch. There is a bit of shifting before he shakes his head. 

“Not feeling too well so I took a day off today. Are you still going out tonight with Carlos and his sister?” He asks and you give him a nod. If you were being honest you had been quite nervous to tell Bastien about it, but as always he was supportive, even encouraging you to go out. He never told you but you knew he was a bit worried about you being alone too much. “What are the plans?” 

“I think just dinner and maybe drinks? I haven’t seen her in so long- there’s a lot to catch up on.” You say with a smile. There’s a faint sound of a door opening and you see Bastien's eyes shift. He speaks a bit in french before looking back at you.

“I need to go baby, my mother is over for dinner” He says and you give him a nod and a smile. “I love you, have fun and let me know when you get home” he says, sending you a kiss. 

“I love you too, tell her I say hi.” You say with a smile, letting him hang up. 

Twenty minutes later you’re heading downstairs, smiling when you see Carlos and Ana in the car right in front of the lobby. You quickly slip out, waving at them as Ana gets out of the car. 

“Y/N oh my god. It’s been so long.” She says before she’s engulfing you in a hug. You smile as you hug her back, letting out a soft breath as you do so. Once she pulls away you take a small step back to look over her, smiling wide. . 

“Hello, yeah. It’s been like what? Three years?” You say with a laugh before giving her another quick hug. 

“A lot to catch up on but that’s perfect. I made a reservation for us at a really nice restaurant. I remember you liked Japanese food, no?” Ana says before turning to the car where Carlos was playing with his phone. “Let’s go?” 

You’re about to take the back seat when Ana beats you to it, shooing you towards the passenger seat. ��Fine, fine.” You say before ducking your head to get in. You flash Carlos a smile. 

“Hey,” You say, putting on your seatbelt as Ana gets in. Carlos greets you back, looking at Ana through the rear view mirror. 

“Ready?” 

The little bit of nerves you have dissipate after the first few minutes of sitting in the car. Ana is filling up the silence by picking songs to play and asking you questions and updates of your life. It's a bit of back and forth and it’s nice to hear more about what she’s been up to. Carlos even joins a bit in the conversation, but you and Ana do most of the catching up. You learn she’s almost done with her studies, finishing up her degree in Business and that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Carlos laughs a bit when you sigh out a “finally”, nodding with you in agreement. 

“He was an asshole.” He says with a shrug to which you both agree. 

The conversation stalls for a bit when Carlos announces that you’ve arrived, quickly turning off the car and taking out the keys to give to the valet. 

The topic picks itself back up once you’re all done ordering. “So- I forgot to ask you earlier.” Ana says, catching your attention. You gently twist the stem of your wine glass between your fingers, giving her a nod to ask away.

“How’s your love life? Any action?” She asks curiously and you smile before rolling your eyes. Carlos shifts a bit in his seat before looking over you, seemingly curious too. 

“Yeah, yeah I have a boyfriend. He’s not here though.” You say with a small smile. “We got together relatively recently. Well actually- I think we’ll be together for a year in a few months.” 

“Boo,” Ana jokes, “being single is fun, no?” She asks giving Carlos a nudge. Carlos fixes his hair with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, leaning back to his chair before crossing his arms, clearly not in the mood to talk about it. It’s clear that Ana wants to pick on it but you quickly catch her attention.

“So Ana, has Carlos been as annoying as ever? Or has it gotten better throughout the years?” You ask teasingly which earns you a scowl from Carlos. 

“He’s the worst, I think he’s even more annoying now.” Ana says with a snicker, taking a sip of her wine. 

“Yeah thought so,” You say, giving Carlos a shake of your head from disappointment. “He’s always talking about this and that, never wants to shut up hm?”

“Ay, come on, come on.” Carlos says waving his hand at you guys. “I did not miss the bullying at all.” he says but the smile on his face says otherwise. 

By the time you finish dinner Ana and you are two bottles of wine in and you clearly can feel a buzz. You were not much of a drinker which really did affect your tolerance levels, and two bottles of wine was a hefty feat for you. Both Ana and you were giggly, the wine having relaxed you both whilst Carlos had limited himself to one glass since he was driving you all home. He had loosened up too though, and you all had been reminiscing about old memories, even reminding each other of some that you had forgotten. 

“Remember that time y/n got lost in the house of mirrors in the carnival in Madrid?” Carlos snickers and you can’t help but pout. 

“Hey, it was confusing.” You defend yourself, remembering how lost you were. You had spent almost twenty minutes there before practically giving up and waiting for someone in hopes that you could follow them out. “At least I didn’t walk into any of the mirrors.” You snip back, laughing when Carlos’ smile drops

“It was that one time,” he states  but before he can say anything else Ana is butting in. 

“Yeah but you had a whole bump on your forehead for like a week. We even named it.” She says pointing at the left side of her forehead just for a reminder. 

“Oh my god, I forgot about Carlos Junior Junior.” You laugh, squirming away when Carlos tries to pinch your arm as retaliation. 

“You weren’t laughing when I had to go back in to help you out. I don’t even know how you got yourself that far in” He says and you smile and shake your head. 

“Not at all. I thought I was gonna be there for the whole night.” You confess, smiling at him before looking at Ana. 

“You crashed that day, no? We weren’t supposed to take you with us.” Ana nods, not even trying to hide it and Carlos smiles, amused. “I’m glad you crashed, it was a lot of fun. We did ditch you for a good thirty minutes though.” You say with a soft laugh.

“We wanted to get some alone time, it’s not cool to take your little sister on a date.” Carlos snorts but Ana is shaking her head. 

“You had the most fun when I was around.” She says confidently and you can’t disagree with her. 

After a few more stories you check your phone to look at the time, starting to feel a bit tired. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Carlos says, practically reading your mind before waving over to the waiter. “I’ll get the bill, and then we can drop you off, yeah?” He offers. 

“Yeah, yeah. How much is it? I can split it.” You offer before Carlos is shaking his head. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we invited you, it’s on us.” And that’s the end of the discussion. 

By the time you get home Ana is dozed off in the backseat. You and Carlos had made small talk, mainly about work, but you’re surprised when he tells you he’ll get out of the car to properly say goodbye. He walks a bit to your side of the car before standing next to you and leaning on his car. You lean back as well, watching him cross his arms over his chest. 

“Thanks for coming, it was really nice.” Carlos says, looking over at you. “And listen- sorry for the whole thing at work and that whole fight we had. I get why you said we didn’t know each other.” Carlos says. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.” 

You nod quietly to his words, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry too. I could have tried to give you a heads up or something and I wasn’t nice at all when we argued.” You say with a small sigh. “I got too defensive at some point and it was selfish for me to just show up like that.” 

Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. It wasn’t selfish at all. You’ve worked hard to get there. They don’t just give the internships to just anybody. You definitely didn’t owe me anything. Plus Tom really likes you now.” Carlos says with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I worked a lot for this.” You laugh softly. “I’m surprised I got it though.” You say, furrowing your brows a bit when Carlos shakes his head. 

“Well I’m not.” He says before properly standing to turn to you. “Y/n, you are one of the most hardworking people I know. If anyone was going to make it it clearly was going to be you.” 

“Stop,” You say with a laugh, and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you feel your eyes slowly getting wet. You keep your gaze forward, unable to look him in the eye. “Look at you though, you’re living your dream.” You say with a smile. 

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “We made it hm?” Carlos asks and you give him a small nod. 

“Well, in my case, almost.” You say before taking a deep breath to compose yourself before properly turning towards him too. 

“So we’re good now?” You ask, extending your hand out to shake and Carlos shakes his head. 

“Come on,” He says before pulling you into a hug. You stumble a bit, still a bit tipsy but you return the hug before slowly pulling away. “We’re good.” He says before taking a step back. “Okay, I should go before Ana wakes up and wants to party or something.” He says making you laugh. 

“Alright, alright. Enjoy your weekend with her. I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask as you slowly walk backwards to your lobby’s entrance. 

“Yes, see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend too. I hope you don’t feel too hungover.” He teases. You roll your eyes, soon turning to head into the lobby. You turn around to look back and see he’s still outside his car, waiting for you to go in. Quickly you give him a wave, before you head up to the elevators. 

The moment you lay in bed is when you finally let out a tired but satisfied sigh. You can’t help but to pull the covers close to you as you think about the evening. Relief washed over you knowing that you and Carlos were good, and maybe even friends now? Before you drift off you remember to text Bastien that you are home, and you grab your phone to do so. You see a text from Carlos, saying Ana and him were already home and you send him a quick thumbs up before you open your chat with Bastien. 

You give him a quick text that you’re home and in bed before locking your phone and setting it on your bedside. You doze off with a light feeling in your chest, even thinking about how work would be the following week.

fin.

read chapter five here

taglist: @sgkophie @loverboysainz-interacts @mossafiato @animesimp2 @gridmetro @iamasimpingh0e @ihearttheoriginals @panicforspec @wildflowertaste @hammyknight @im-an-overthinker @serialkillertbh @pierre-gasssllyy @lostinketterdam @organasith @sarasturniolo @azenpal @sukunasrealgf @imsoconfused2903 @dr3lover @nsprinx @hayleyy-l @starxqt @xheera @idkiwantchocolatee @sarahayden

(pls let me know if i forgot you and i'll add you once i can, sorry it's been hard to keep up with everybody!)

a/n: once again thank you for reading <3, i appreciate it big time. also reader and carlos are finally getting along but Bastien is back into the mix 😉. let me know what you think!! Xxx (even if it is points of improvement).

interested in reading more? check my masterlist

[cryptiles]

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

RANDOM TEXTS — PART 1 / PART 2 

— details ; brothers x gn! reader ; head-cannon based ; 〘🐙〙 ; obey me m.list ; they/them/you/yours

— summary ; domestic texts between you and the brothers

— requests are open as of 7/9 , match-ups are closed.

— a/n ; since y’all liked the first part so much , i’m feeding y’all with another. this one was kinda unhinged , i kept wanting to use ‘ oh my god ‘ as a reaction but then i remembered theyre demons.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

LUCIFER

“ why does the class size have to be so big , i can’t remember everyones names. 😐 “

“ well , maybe if you stopped texting and instead focus on your work it won’t be that hard. “

“ jeez thanks for believing in me. “

“ anyways i need help , do you know this guy named Willya ? “

“ he’s supposed to hand up some overdue work today. “

“ Willya ? no , i have not. “

“ WILLYA PUT DEEZ NUTS ON YOUR CHIN BITCHHHH “

LUCIFER HAS BLOCKED YOU.

“ damn. “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

MAMMON

“ MC ARE YOU IN ONLINE CLASS ? “

“ NO LMAOO THE STUPID LINK ISNT WORKING. “

“ OI SEND ME THE LINK I LOST IT 💀 “

“ NVM I FOUND IT , I ACCIDENTALLY THREW THE PAPER AWAY. “

“ DUMBASS. “

“ BROO WHY DID DIAVOLO TRY ONLINE CLASSES ? THE TEACHERS ARE OLDER THAN MY GRANDMA , THEY LITERALLY CANT DO SHIT THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPP. “

“ MC ENOUGH. LMAAOAOAOSO “

“ RIGHT HAHAHA LOOK AT STUDENT#1 CAMERA ANGLE , THE FUCK IS THATTT 😃”

“ MAMMON STOP MAKING FUN OF THEM I CANT KEEP GOING OFF CAMERA PRETENDING TO SNEEZE SO I CAN LAUGH. FUCKING HALT. “

“ IM GOING TO YOUR ROOM THIS IS WHOLE THING WAS STUPID AS HELL , WE’RE SHARING YOUR LAPTOP SO SCOOT OVER. “

“ IM BRINGING SNACKS TOO. “

“ AND OUR SHARED BLANKET 😼 “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

LEVIATHAN

“ 😭 “

“ 😭😭 “

“ 😭😭😭 “

“ are you okay ? and why are you crying in numerical order… “

“ i’m not okay mc 😭😭😭😭 “

“ the human world had a pre-order bundle for ‘ insert long anime title ‘ and i missed it because i slept in. “

“ how am i supposed to be okay after that ?! “

“ it had a pc and stuff in it too 😭😭😭😭😭 “

“ i see. “

“ well i’ll let you know that i bought 2 already , one for you and me. “

“ REALLY ? “

“ YOU’RE THE BEST MC THANK YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭”

“ STOP ADDING ONE MORE CRYING EMOJI EVERYTIME YOU CRY , PLEASE. “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

SATAN

“ SATANN GUESS WHAT “

“ ?? “

“ I FOUND A CAT THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU ITS SO FUCKING CUTE. “

“ ‘ insert cat pic ‘ “

“ ITS JUDGING ME SO BAD ITS MAKING IT CUTER. “

“ MC WHERE ARE YOU AS OF RIGHT NOW. “

“ I HAVE TREATS , TOYS AND EVERYTHING WHERE TF ARE YOU. “

“ UHH TBH IDK I WAS JUST WANDERING AROUND AND I FOUND IT.. “

“ WHAT ?? WHERE ARE YOU ? “

“ IM FUCKING LOST SATAN. IDFK WHERE AM I. “

“ STAY WHERE EVER YOU ARE WITH THE CAT IM COMING TO FIND YOU. “

“ HURRY PLEASE THE CAT IS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD AND ITS WALKING AWAY. “

“ IM MAKING A BAD DECISION AND FOLLOWING IT. “

“ MC , AS MUCH AS I LOVE BOTH YOU AND THE CAT PLEASE DONT FOLLOW IT. “

“ MC ? “

“ FUCK. “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

ASMODEUS

“ bye 15/50 for chemistry , again. “

“ finna kms fr. “

“ mc its alright , half the class did like shit anyways. “

“ yeah but ‘ disliked persons name ‘ beat me , you know how embarrassing that is ? “

“ damn , that is embarrassing. “

“ thanks a lot for the compliment 😐 “

“ wellll at least you didn’t fail chemistry like her , i mean who ever fails that subject has to be hella stupid 🤭 “

“ … “

“ WAIT I MEANT MATH. “

“ NOT CHEMISTRY. “

“ SLIPPED MY MIND IM SORRY MC “

“ WRONG INSULT IT WAS DIRECTED FOR ‘ disliked persons name ‘ “

“ IM SORRYYYY “

“ YOU BITCHH 😾😾”

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

BEELZEBUB

“ have you tried mango sago ? “

“ that shits bussinnn “

“ mango sago ?? i never heard of that before , what is it ? “

“ its a chinese dessert ! i’ll make it for you one day 😼 “

“ that’ll be nice mc thank you. “

“ also could you help me open the door ? “

“ i’m carrying food from madam screams , i’m trying not to eat your favourite dessert so please hurry 😭 “

“ i love you beel , AND IM OTW “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

BELPHAGOR

“ ‘ tiktok edit ‘ “

“ broo they’re so fineee and for what 😩🙏”

“ whats that song ? its been on loop in my mind but im too lazy to search it up. “

“ i’ve heard it everywhere but idk the name. “

“ in that case… should i gatekeep 😻 “

“ I WILL BLOCK YOU BITCH “

“ I INTRODUCED YOU TO SO MANY SONGS “

“ IM PRETTY SURE ITS THE OTHER WAY AROUND 🤨 “

“ MY MUSIC TASTE IS IMMACULATE COMPARED TO YOURS “

“ PLEASE ALL YOU LISTEN TO IS TAYLOR SWIFT AND DEPRESSING SONGS “

“ THE BASICS BITCHH 🤌 “

“ STFU THEYRE GOOD “

“ YK WHAT IM GATEKEEPING THAT SONG YOU DONT DESERVE IT “

“ i’ll kill you. “

“ again ? at least make it special “

“ mc please stop-“

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

© 2022 cryptiles. please do not repost / translate my work and post it to other social media websites without permission , thank you.