#im writing for some reason wow
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clickety-clacker · 23 days ago
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Been seeing so many cool Clickies on my dashboard since getting into GGG, I just had to take the time to draw a few of them- plus, it was a bit of a challenge to try new styles. A lot of these guys were also super influential to how I draw and even think about Click Clack on my own time, so you should definitely check them out! Names below the cut cus it got long heehoo
Top left: @malartsorte
Top middle (holding papers): @scribblelimbo
Top right: @wishgraanted
Leftmost middle: @beastwhimsy
Middle (peace sign!): @sootnuki
Rightmost middle: @molabuddy
Bottom left: @pespillo
Bottom middle: @artuurle
Bottom right: @modmad
I know I said it already, but all of yall are super cool and I had a lot of fun challenging myself to make this! Keep on being awesome 👍
#ggg#great god grove#click clack#my art#genuinely some of you guys completely changed how i interpret click clack. for real#both visually yes but also like#as a character.#special shoutout to malartsorte and modmad for being huge influences on my headcanons#a lot of stuff yall brought up was stuff i never even considered. its cool#beastwhimsy has always been a huge inspiration for my art style and is one of the reasons i gave ggg a try#in the first place#and ur click is so cuuute and awesome and was the first insp i remember seeing of bnuuy click. changed me#graant's fic holds a VERY special place in my heart its so good. and your take on click clack is so fucking unique and phenomenal#as much as your writing is#pespillo has such a fuckin cute click (and thesp) and has really neat takes ive delighted in reading#SOOTNUKI has been a huge insp for a lot of thangs and also just a delight to see art from. i get so happy every time i see one of ur guys#crossing my dash#marc. points at you. i fuckin love ur click hes so awesome#sophies art is so fucking pleasing and helps remind me that he is cartoony cus i tend to drift towards the realism side#and then i see ur stuff and go wait. cartoony stuff is so pleasing and fun. and i do it and have fun!!!!!!!#and artuurle. duude idk all of your stuff is fucking phenomenal. every time i see a post from you i get so excited#both your art and aus and headcanons and everything is all so so so delightful#im so glad to be able to see so many cool artists doing cool things#wow i rambled a lot in here. uh. if youre reading this still. sorry(?)#have a nice day
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wickjump · 2 months ago
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(​but don’t just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you can’t tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if it’s embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. it’s so hard to write. people don’t give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didn’t include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. that’s 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because there’s#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! that’s a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if it’s a silly comment it’s loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#that’s the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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jargyles · 4 months ago
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GHOSTFACE!JANCY FIC FOR YA!
my rule for kinktober was to not have anything be over 1k but yall know how i get... i love them too much to shut up about em... its true.
also like i said its a scream au fic, the blood fearin gworls need not click but theres some social flops and jancy typical codependent vibes that r fun for the whole family
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wp100 · 1 year ago
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wonder where khadgar's been :p
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orcelito · 8 months ago
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I officially finished my 4th iwatex game, and am somehow already halfway through my 5th
I have 96 hours logged. I started playing this game only 10 days ago.
Heck.
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sleepymrshmllow · 1 year ago
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blissfully ignores the harsh criticisms of s2/the finale 🥰
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voidlitmoon · 2 years ago
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OK Tumblr people who follow for art you can have this from my Instagram too ig
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vcutparis · 7 months ago
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i whole heartedly had the maternal aunt awakening for the kids. LIKE FROM THE FIRST SCENE WHERE THEY SAID FAMILY MAN TRAITOR AND WENT BACK YO GO HSUHSUHSUSHUS SHUSHSUSHSU IN THE CORNER!!!!! I JUMPED AND GIGGLED LIKE A MANIC AS IF I KNOW SHIT BRO 😦?
I LOVE!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I REPEAT !!!!! I LOVE THE KIDS (and their dad but anyways)
i ahve a lot of thoughst and lets jot it down in the tags muehehehhehe (aw hell naw man tumblr ate my fav tag : is doctor hwa single. or rich momma sophie? help a med kid out!!!!) ALSO ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE CONTRIBUTION TO ATEEZ FIC COMMUNITY WE CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE YAY!!!
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the parent trap | KHJ
part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series
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☆ trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au
☆ pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader
☆ warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, you’re both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!
☆ synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .
☆ word count: 18.1k
☆ playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole
☆ a/n: it’s finally here. I can’t believe I’m writing this and saying it’s finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyone’s sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.
ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!
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“ABSOLUTELY NOT” Hongjoong says.
“But dadd,” she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseo’s small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen. 
“Why not?” the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders. 
He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.
“Because, baby…” pausing to think for a moment before responding. “It would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. I’ve got work, and she must be busy as well.” 
Eunseo glares at her father’s excuse. 
Okay, yeah, the man knows it’s somewhat of a lie, himself. 
She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.
“But dad, it’s an amazing cottage resort! They’ve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isn’t that great?” She beams. 
He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence. 
“Please?” She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. “The last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.” 
And how on earth could any dad’s heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation? 
Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear. 
“Listen honey, I’m sorry, I really wish I could, but…” he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.
Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her. 
“Once you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?” he suggests, brows raising. “That’ll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.”
Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it. 
“But we’re supposed to be a family of four.” 
She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat. 
He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. “You know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then I’ll think about it” he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.
Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye. 
Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly she’s been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation. 
The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.
“So? What did dad say?”
Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch. 
“He’s totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.” she grumbles. 
Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea. 
“But dad sucks at fishing.”
Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. “I know!” Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.
“Then how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They haven’t been in the same room since we were like, five!”
Her twin sister scoffs, “First, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.”
Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.
All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.
Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds. 
After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeol’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. 
“That’s it!”
The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly. 
“We’ll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!”
Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. “Right, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason they’d do that, was if it was an emergency.”
Whoever said twin telepathy wasn’t a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one. 
With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug. 
“What are you guys doing over there?”
“Leave us alone! Family man traitor!” Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin. 
Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen. 
“Then it’s perfect! I’ll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, we’ll try convincing them together!”
Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone. 
“And once both events end, we’ll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.”
The other twin smirks. ”Where we’ll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.”
They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
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“A summer cottage?” you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street. 
Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.
“It's an amazing establishment mom,” She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.
“They have everything you could possibly think of!”
“Oh, really?” You say skeptically, opening the door for her. 
Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together. 
“There’s couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga… did I mention couples hiking retreats?” She confuses, retracing her words. 
You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.
Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house could’ve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.
It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.
You’d be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.
You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.
Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesn’t stop ranting.
“There’s usually only two rooms in the cottage, so you’ll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once married” She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.
You shake your head with a sigh. ”What is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?” you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils. 
Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool. 
“It’s not that I’m obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.”
Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesn’t fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion. 
“We just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, that’s all!” her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza. 
You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately. 
“Spending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,” you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.
Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. “You’re squishing me!” She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer. 
You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.
“Oh! Don’t forget you’ve got your hockey game tonight!”
Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock. 
She smiles to herself. 
“Don’t worry, I know!”
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“What do you mean you need to go to the hospital?” Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the women’s washroom stall. He holds Eunseo’s congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them. 
“Honey, is everything all right?” He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.
“You need to leave!” one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction. 
Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.
He whips his head back. “My daughter’s having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!” He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door. 
“Eunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?” 
The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone. 
“Oh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!”
Seolie: How far along are u
Byeolie: Mom’s outside, banging to come in. 
Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.
Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more. 
“That’s it, Eunseo. Let me in and help you” he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief. 
The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message. 
Byeolie: Mom’s getting the car to take me to the hospital. I’ve got her convinced to call dad soon.
Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before. 
Seolie: Then what do I do????
Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.
“Eunseo? Everything alright?”
At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister. 
Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.
The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dad’s surprised arms. 
“Eunseo!”
She wails, falling limp. “Oh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!”
It’s truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.
But she doesn’t have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.
“Stay with me baby!” He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open. 
Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first. 
“Eunbyeol’s severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “What?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “She was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?” 
Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.
“She’s hit with the same thing right now. I’ll meet you at the Hospital in ten” he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket. 
Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.
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You never liked the hospital. 
The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area. 
Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice. 
You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing you’ve already done the same to all the ones on your left. 
“It’s all my fault.” Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still. 
You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly. 
“Last thing they ate together would’ve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,” he dejects, hanging his head down in shame. 
“It’s all my fault, god I’m so stupid!” He beats himself up. 
You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dad’s house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonight’s shift. 
But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet. 
Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing one right now.
You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing you’ve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.
“It’s not your fault,” you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap. 
It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh. 
“That could’ve happened to anyone. We don’t know yet if it was because of the food. Let’s just pray and wait and see” your voice being a sign of reliability to him. 
The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile. 
“Didn’t think I’d see you guys tonight.” Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. “Together, at that” he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.
Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: “How are they?”
“Better,” he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. “But it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.” 
The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his niece’s request.
To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he would’ve laughed in their faces. 
Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Here’s what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:
“We’re trying to get them back together,” Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed. 
Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets. 
“So.. you guys don’t need an IV drip?”
“It’s this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, we’ll explain to you later.”
It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldn’t do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you. 
“So you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys don’t have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.” 
The twins nod, one of them pointing out. “And make sure to tell them we’re fine of course. Maybe throw in we’re like, really sick, but that we’ll live so it’s best if we get rest.”
“At like a cottage or something” the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint. 
The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly. 
When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the children’s gowns. 
Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced). 
“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain. 
Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy. 
“Hey baby, I’m here” you coo.
“I’m so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I should’ve never cooked for you guys earlier today.” their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.
You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. “But what’s important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you need” you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband. 
Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs. 
“They seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,” He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. “Have they been receiving proper familial support at home?” 
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.” Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile. 
As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses could’ve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them. 
Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them. 
“Make sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.”
”Do you guys have crunchy ice?” Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade. 
Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them. 
“I can get you some ice!” Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him. 
You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseo’s hair and caress Eunbyeol’s hand. 
“Well? Is there anything else you guys need from us?” Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.
“Let us know girls, anything at all.”
Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time. 
“We want to go to the cottage”
“Together,” Eunseo says.
“As a family.” Eunbyeol adds in.
You and Hongjoong share a silent look. 
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Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoong’s mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest. 
The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.
It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didn’t want to disappoint the twins.
But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio. 
You’re sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. It’s awkward being together like this.
You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesn’t wake up the girls.
“So, are we really considering that cottage retreat?” he glances back at you. 
You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.
“We can’t Hongjoong,” you reasoned, shaking your head. “I couldn’t possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably aren’t ready to do.” you explained, voice tense.
Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. “I realize that. I’ve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.” he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.
He’s so hot like that.
Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.
“How’s everything been going then?” you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you. 
“Um, it's going good. You?” he asks.  
“Fine.” you swallow. 
Silence prevails. He’s first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind. 
“I’m willing to put things on hold if I need to.” He confesses. 
Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was. 
“What do you mean?”
“Honestly, I think it would be good for the girls,” he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasn’t yours. 
“Hongjoong-” you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility. 
“Just hear me out, alright?” He states firmly, making you quiet. 
He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other. 
“It’s been almost seven years. Seven years since they’ve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.”
Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. “Seven years since they’ve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.”
You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. “I don’t know why you’re acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-”
“It is a big deal!” he exclaims, trying to get his point across. “I can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.”
He sighs. “Us, not acknowledging each other’s existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.”
You bite your lip, getting angry. “So what Hongjoong? You’re saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?”
You shrug your shoulders. “Do you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? There’s a reason why our current schedules work. Don’t make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.” You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks. 
“You fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papers—”
“Well then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?” He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.
You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack. 
You don’t remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.
Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly. 
“Don’t raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.”
Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes. 
The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?
At the right turn into his mother’s apartment’s underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face. 
You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open. 
You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeol’s hair. 
“Hey girls, we’re here now. You gotta wake up.” He coos.
They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms. 
“So soon?” Eunbyeol mumbles.
A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first. 
“We’ll leave Eunbyeol’s hockey gear with you for the night if that’s alright Mom-” 
Hongjoong’s words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons. 
“How are you my dear?” she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you so much!”
Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoong’s family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.
“I’ve missed you too” you tell her genuinely. “I’ve been good, I’m just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,” You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night. 
“We had a bit of a situation,” you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things. 
She shakes her head, reassuring you. “Nonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.” she grins, turning her head at the car. “And where are my girls, may I ask?”
At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.
Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder. 
“Oh, how I’ve missed my little squirrels!” she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren. 
She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown. 
“And where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!” she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in. 
You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door. 
“OW! I’ve been busy alright?” he mumbles, massaging his sore arm. 
Your mother in law takes both the twins hand’s on each side, nodding her head to you. 
“Leave all the kid’s stuff to Hongjoong, he’ll take care of it darling” she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. “Bye, mom!” The twins wave back. 
Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseo’s piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three. 
“Stay here. I’ll drop them off.” he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned. 
Hongjoongs words from before can’t help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down. 
Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?
“Are you giving your plants enough water?” He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street. 
You look up, giving him a confused look. 
Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flat’s entrance as the car stopped to a halt. “You know, it’s really hard for plants to die when they’re outside.” He says in amazement at your shit gardening. 
You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden. 
He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice. 
“Unless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.” 
His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat. 
“Fuck off” you replied harshly. 
“You should give them some more care,” he suggests, ignoring your swearing. 
You don’t reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car. 
“I can go in by myself” you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didn’t think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.
Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest. 
“Think about it at least.” he mutters to you. 
You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair. 
“Hongjoong-”
“Would it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?” He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets. 
You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well. 
Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.
“I need time.” 
He nods, face serious. “I understand.”
“Let me think about it.” You mumbled. 
And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app. 
At least you’d give it some thought. 
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Okay, maybe now you’ve given it too much thought. 
Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, you’re sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment. 
“I don’t even understand why you’re considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?” she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat. 
“Not everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christ” she rolls her eyes. 
“He didn’t pressure me,” you told her pouting. “He wants to do it for the kids” you mumbled looking down as you defended him. 
You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives. 
Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight. 
“I don’t think I would mind going, to be honest” you hiccup, words slurring. “I haven’t had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.” confessing through the alcohol. 
Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality. 
“Hello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?” She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. “You said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him who’s boss!” 
“He said he’s willing to put his music projects on hold for us,” you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now. 
Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.
“Listen, honey, I’m just warning you in advance” she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table. 
“Take it from a girl who’s had three divorces. I mean look at me! I’m still somewhat young, I’ve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!” 
You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights. 
“What you need is a provider, sweetheart,” she crooned, caressing your head. 
“A guy who won’t leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.”
You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs. 
“Hi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.” Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario.  
“Hi girls,” Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as she’s concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now. 
“Hey sweetheart,” you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water. 
“Say, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?” You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. “No, not much, why?” 
Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. “Did Dad say we’re going?” She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them. 
“Now of course not girls, your mother here was just-”
“Oh fuck it, why not?” you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. “Let’s go to the cottage!” You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision. 
Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were. 
Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to go as a family!” They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm.  
Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it. 
“Oh whatever. . . This isn’t my problem anyways.” 
When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he can’t lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins. 
“See! We told you mom would say yes!” 
“Say yes to what?” He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy man’s mind after almost a week of no news from you. 
“What’s so important that you guys don’t even say hi to me anymore?” he sulks.
Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses. 
“We’re going to the cottage!”
Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly. 
“We’re what?”
Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father. 
“Pack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, we’re going on a family vacation!” 
In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock. 
“What?” you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. “You’ve never seen a woman wake up before?” You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff. 
The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position. 
“You’re going to go to the cottage?”
At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck. 
“Well…”
“No take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!” One of the twins pointed out. 
Hongjoong doesn’t take his eyes off of you. 
“I-I did say that, didn’t I?” You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you should’ve said no. 
Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising he’ll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe. 
“I didn’t realize you’d be here so early” you mumbled, looking down at your toes. 
He ignores you. “So I’m guessing we’re going then?” He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest. 
You shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s surround the focus of this trip towards the kids” you remind him, straightening your back.
Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. “Of course, that was my intention from the beginning,” he smiles. 
You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car. 
“Come on, love birds! We gotta go back to dad’s to get our swimming stuff!” Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what she’ll need to bring to the cottage.
Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile. 
“Let’s keep in touch about details, alright?”
You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you. 
“Think, um, you should get inside, it’s getting cold,” he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, “I’m going to say goodbye to my own daughters”. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you. 
“If you insist. Just thought you wouldn’t want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?”
You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoong’s smug face. 
It’s now become the second time you’ve done that.
Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong you’re wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here. 
You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldn’t kill you. 
Right?
Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, ‘family bonding times’ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?
“What a hot lady!” Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.
A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong must’ve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.
“C’mon Byeol, off the bed” you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers. 
Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment. 
“Elegant. She’s Elegant, Byeol. You don’t just go around wolf-whistling at people.” she rolls her eyes. 
“You look very pretty by the way, mom”
You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things. 
Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuit…
At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldn’t be needing it, she insisted. 
Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he can’t lie. 
“Come on ladies, we’re gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!” 
Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly. 
Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father. 
“Coming!” You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly. 
“Need some help?”
A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoong’s cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. “Here, I’ve got it” he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband. 
Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well. 
You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them. 
What was this trip doing to you?
Once you’re on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive. 
Hongjoong’s 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window. 
While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you. 
“I’m not going to lie, it’s been forever since I’ve been on a road trip” he smiles.
You copy him, feeling good in the moment. “Same, I don’t remember the last time I went to one.” you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager. 
Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.
“Do you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?” 
The corners of Hongjoong’s lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression. 
“Right, like I could forget that summer” he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel. 
It’s an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights you’d spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday. 
Though it’s too bad, someday already passed. 
“Do you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girl’s sleeping cabins?” Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. “Oh my god, yes!” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “In nothing but his underwear, right?” 
Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.
“Didn’t he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?” You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.
That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying. 
As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently. 
“It’s beautiful” you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air. 
Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.
“Yeah, it is” he smiles.
Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. “We’re gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!” Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away. 
“What about lunch?” you call to them. 
“We’re not hungry!”
Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. “They’ll be fine. They’re probably too excited to even think right now” you giggled, bumping shoulders with him. 
You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.
“Hey, I just want my babies to be safe” he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness. 
“Here it is!” he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. “Lodge number 1117”
The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.
“It’s perfect, the kids will love it” you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family. 
Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days. 
“I’m guessing you still drink?” you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.
He gestured to the booze. “C’mon, it wouldn’t be a vacation without it, would it?” 
You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed. 
“Hopefully, this time we won’t end up shit faced like we did back in college” you laugh, turning to face him. 
“I can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.” you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind. 
Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak.  
“There wasn’t anything but trees and bushes in that forest!” You exclaimed, shaking your head. “What did we even do there?” 
Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.
“I’m pretty sure we fucked.”
You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up. 
“No we didn’t, Hongjoong” you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldn’t trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?
Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly. 
“Nope, I distinctly remember it” he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space. 
“I held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-” 
Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him. 
“Jesus christ,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.
“I get it, we fucked.”
Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which you’re standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer. 
“What are you doing?” you grin, watching him.
He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. “I’m pretty sure,” he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up. 
“I also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that tree” his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch. 
“Yknow, the one we fucked against?” he teases to you one more time.
The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind. 
“Did you, now?” You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips. 
“Yeah. I remember it all” he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.
The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.
“Do you remember too?” He asks.
How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didn’t care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.
You nod. “I do,” you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldn’t stop beating. “I remember you kissed me on the lips,” you confessed. 
Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now. 
He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you haven’t shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.
If only you leaned in closer…
“We’re back!”
You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.
“Girls!” you exclaimed, voice wavering. 
Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.
“Dad, this place is amazing!” Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. “They even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!”
Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise. 
“Really? That's great sweetie”
Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.
“What were you guys doing?” she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment. 
“Were you guys about to kis-”
Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly. 
“I was helping your dad unload the cooler” 
“I was helping your mom get something out of her eye”
Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. “Huh?”
Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.
“I think it’s time to unpack your things.” you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.
“We can do it on our own, mom! It’s really no big d-”
You clamp Eunbyeol’s mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them. 
Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.
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The next few days, you and Hongjoong don’t discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.
“Could you pass the sunscreen, honey?” Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters. 
You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. “Of course, darling!” 
“Thanks honey!”
“No problem sweetheart!”
This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.
“We have to get them to stop being weird.”
Apart from that, the ‘family bonding time’ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too. 
“I hope we stay here forever,” Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours. 
Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger. 
“You and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the time” You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug. 
“Sure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.”
You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoong’s smile is the biggest you’ve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming. 
Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a father’s love for his girls could be. 
Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoong’s room on the opposite side of the second floor.
Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.
He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets. 
At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you. 
“Hi” he states, looking at you. 
“Hey”
Hongjoong’s expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet. 
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby. 
You don’t see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers. 
“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep by yourself” he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable. 
“How do you like the resort so far?” He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. “Is the room okay?”
“It’s wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.” You spoke up, telling the truth.
It’s hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when it’s just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?
“Hey, look at me.” Hongjoong’s soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger. 
“What’s wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?” he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you. 
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children. 
Hongjoong’s eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. “Woah, hey, shh that’s alright I got you” he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest. 
The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him.  
“Tell me what you’re sorry about” he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes. 
“For being mean to you for so long” you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.
“I’ve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that we’ve been fighting for the past seven years, and that they’ve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own self” you ramble, confessing how you felt. 
You look up. “They’re happy because we’re together Joong. Because we’re not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.”
He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes. 
“You’re such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.”
At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face. 
“I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know that”
His truthfulness throws you off guard.
“I’m sorry too” he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. “I haven’t been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.” he says, brushing a tear away from your face.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as well” he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears. 
“But I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always know” he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart.  
“Married or not, we were once friends. And now we’re family” His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father he’s become.
“We can start over” you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. “We can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.” 
Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.
You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter. 
“Friends again?” He whispers, though silently wanting something more. 
You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. “Friends” you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent. 
The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoong’s relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn. 
It’s hard to believe you two really just wanted to be ‘friends’
Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldn’t get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship. 
But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.
This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal. 
On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:
Gourmet Dinner Date for 2
Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Outdoor patio 
Dress code: Formal and Classy
You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready. 
“Do you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?” You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready. 
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended. 
“At least my cooking skills don’t take after Dad’s, mom.” She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. “Have some trust in a girl!”
Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment. 
“Dad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.” she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear. 
He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. “You’re supposed to look good for mom!” she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseo’s words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head. 
“You and Byeol are gonna join too, right?”
She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back. 
“It’s just a date, Dad. Relax”
Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date. 
“I have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.” you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair. 
The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didn’t even realize you packed. 
“We got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.” she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock. 
You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material. 
“I haven’t worn this since I was in college.” You uttered softly to yourself. 
At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. “I-I can’t wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?“ you asked nervously.
“Dad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it specially” she looks up at you, proud of what she just said.  
You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Byeol! Where did you hear that from?” 
She sighs. “Dad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in college” she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands. 
“Talked a lot about how pretty you were,” she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.
You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands. 
It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night out’s filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo could’ve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.
“Fine.” you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change. 
“But I’m just gonna try it on.”
Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear. 
What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress. 
Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.
Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation. 
“Well?” She says expectedly, looking at her dad. “Let’s take a look!”
He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were. 
Hongjoong’s back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.
“How do I look guys?” He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back. 
Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. “Do you even have to ask, dad?” She’s more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together. 
He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them. 
“I want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.”
“I’m difficult?” You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs. 
The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadn’t seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way. 
“Hi” you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.
The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably. 
“I-I No I didn’t mean that-“
You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura. 
“Outside, right?” you winked at them. 
“Right this way!” Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side. 
“My parents are too cool” Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.
Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. “You look breathtaking, sweetheart.” feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children. 
You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back. 
“Not bad yourself.” 
You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly. 
Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows. 
“Is someone here?” he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. “Dinner is served!” 
“Turns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!” She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes. 
You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly. 
“You guys prepared all of this?” You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. “We called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!”
You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same. 
“What did I do to get so lucky with my girls?” he smiles, ruffling their heads. 
“What about you guys?” You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy. 
“Natalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,” Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them. 
“What? But- ”
She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. “Her mom said it’s totally fine with her. She’s only two cottages down, and she’ll make sure we’re back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!” 
The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in. 
“Please?” they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. “She’s waiting for us now!”
Hongjoong feels guilty. “C’mon, you guys should still join us!”
Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer. 
“Tonight is all about you guys. We don’t want to intrude” she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.
“We’ll text you guys in the middle to let you know everything’s good of course” 
You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasn’t anything else you felt grateful for more. 
“Thank you girls.” you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door. 
“Don’t get all kissy in the backyard!” Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out. 
Before you know it, you’re left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas. 
“She takes after you, I hope you know that” You told Hongjoong softly.  
He chuckles, “Not as much as you.” He gestures to the table. “Shall we?” 
And that’s how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing. 
You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and you’re just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often you’d smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you. 
“I don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date like this” You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw. 
“Oh, so we’re going on dates now, are we?” Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him. 
You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husband’s eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice. 
“But you’ve gone on dates after we split, haven’t you?” he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm. 
You shook your head slowly.
“Nope. Not since signing those papers” you revealed. 
Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. “And why’s that?” 
You suddenly didn’t have an answer. “I-I don’t know, I just…” You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed. 
“I guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldn’t find the time to.” You use as a cliche excuse. 
“Bullshit” he retorts back immediately. 
“It’s true!” You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate. 
“You always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you now” he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face. 
“You always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.” you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. “And here you are now.” 
You think for a moment before asking the same question. 
“How about you?” 
Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You don’t realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding. 
“What were we thinking when we got married like that?” You asked out loud, looking at how far you’d both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship. 
“I mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didn’t even have a car, Hongjoong!” you realized.
Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar. 
“We were young” he justifies. 
“Yeah, and stupid too,” you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.
You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each other’s lives again like this? 
As both parents and lovers?
Hongjoong brings up something you wouldn’t have expected him to. 
“Do you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?” he questioned softly, looking at you. 
You blink, taken aback. Suddenly you’re back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely. 
“I do,” you told him, pulling yourself from the memory. 
“I remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving in”. You laughed, though it wasn’t fully cheerful.
“I don’t regret it, though” Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes. 
You shook your head. “Of course. Neither do I.” 
It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.
“I don’t regret you either.” Hongjoong states.
You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face. 
“I loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,” he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver. 
“Don’t say that.” you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself you’re still divorced from the man sitting in front of you. 
How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?
Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you. 
“Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.” 
Don’t do this to me you begged silently.
“I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me.” He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasn’t even anything worth fighting for anymore. 
“But you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.” He smiles, holding his tears back.
“And for that I will always love you.”
You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.
There wasn’t anything else you could fake anymore. You couldn’t bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didn’t he know he was only going to do the same to you?
Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.
“Why do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?” He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision. 
“Because ‘us’ can’t happen again, Hongjoong!” You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.
“Don’t you get it? Us going on this trip isn’t a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?”
“We could do it” He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.
You bite your tears back again. “No we couldn’t, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fighting— ”
He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, you’re already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time. 
Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling. 
He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch. 
“We could be together as a family again,” he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. “We never know if we try—”
You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off. 
“Seven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you would’ve chased after me,” 
Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth. 
“I realize now, how stupid I was to think that.”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to chase you”
Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. “Of course I wanted you to chase me.” You let go of his hands. “It’s too late either way”, walking away from the defeated man.
Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner. 
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It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage. 
There was no room for that, not after last night.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife. 
What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinner— it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other? 
These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover. 
Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain. 
At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant. 
“I’m driving back up right now”
Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window. 
“Yes. That’s okay, I'll take care of it.” You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words. 
“Thanks for letting me know.” 
You hang up the phone, 
“One of us isn’t going with you, are we?” Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh. 
“No, you’re not” You confess, apologetic. ‘I’m sorry honey. I really am.”
You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong. 
“You’ll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things aren’t working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.”
He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight. 
“Will you be fine with the girls?” You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.
Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you. 
“I‘ll be fine. Don’t worry about it” sending a small smile, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. 
The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent. 
They would’ve hated that more. 
After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls. 
“What do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- ”
Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.
“Dad, you must be out of your mind.” 
Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude. 
“Eunseo, what are you- ” 
“You’re telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now you’re just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?”
Hongjoong blinks at his daughter’s sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house.  
Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area. 
“She’s got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?” She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned. 
Hongjoong doesn’t know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.
“Me and your mother are fine!” He lies, trying to reassure them. “That trip wasn’t just for us, it was also for you two to enjoy— ”
Eunseo asks the million dollar question. 
“If you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?” 
With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response. 
“Well? Are you going to chase after her or not?!” Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair. 
They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?
Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.
“Do you girls mind staying at your uncle’s for a bit?” He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both. 
“Dad, if you don’t drop us off and get your butt over to mom’s right away, I’m gonna report you to child services.” she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.
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You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear. 
“Call me once she approves the design then,” you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint. 
“Alright then, bye.” 
After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder. 
The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected. 
Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing. 
Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.
Don’t think about him. 
The task is impossible. Your mind can’t help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong? 
Hongjoong’s words repeat in your head like a broken record player. 
I will always love you
Lies. That promise couldn’t be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hell—
And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much. 
What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didn’t chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?
The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly. 
“The studios closed for the- ”
Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.
“Hongjoong?”
He’s drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one. 
Suddenly he's striding over to where you’re sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly. 
Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust. 
“Why are you here?” you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again. 
But he’s just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.
“I lost you once.” He breathes, eyes watering.
“I’m not going to lose you again”. 
Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away. 
That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. You’re still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing it’ll be okay because at least you had each other. 
You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you. 
“You’re a fucking idiot” you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. “I hope you know that”
He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.
“I’m an idiot” he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.
“Let me prove how much I love you,” a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt. 
You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.
“Here?” Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. “Hongjoong wait,” you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.
But he doesn’t give a shit. He’s tired of waiting. 
“It’s been too fucking long” he protests, ripping your top off. You’re dizzy from how abruptly he’s stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra. 
And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as he’s crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.
Holy fucking shit
You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked. 
“Please?” you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.
You don’t have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further. 
Hongjoong’s hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.
When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex. 
“Right there, yes” you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting. 
He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesn’t pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.
You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares. 
“You were just begging to be fucked for all these years, weren’t you sweetheart?” He teases. 
Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long. 
Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband. 
“And you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, weren’t you, Joong?” wiping that smug grin off his face.
”Lay down for me” he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name. 
And people said romance was dead. 
When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoong’s intention was when he ordered you to do that. 
Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert. 
He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully. 
A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly. 
“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?”
“Please, Joong, I need you” you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows you’re in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher. 
“Tell me so that I treat you good, baby” he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed. 
“Fuck me, please” 
His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core. 
“Like this?” He teases.
“Inside, Hongjoong” you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was. 
“I know, I know,” he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you. 
“I just missed this pretty cunt” before in one strong thrust, Hongjoong’s bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly. 
“Shit” he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment. 
The man is ravenous, but he’s genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.
With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you. 
“Fucking look at my wife” he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock. 
“S’too much” you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation. 
You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure. 
“I know, mama, I know” 
He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected. 
“Fuck, I missed these” He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back. 
“Missed how they looked when you were pregnant” he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids. 
“God, at this point I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant again” Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy. 
“Shut up.” You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles. 
“Your mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something else” 
After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close. 
“M’close. M’so close!” you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better. 
Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap. 
“Make me cum, daddy” 
And just like that, you’re clenching around Hongjoong’s massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit. 
“So fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for me”
The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses. 
“Just let me love you,” he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. “Just for a moment.”
You’re too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in. 
Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldn’t be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon. 
You had no intention of wasting that time any more. 
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𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄:
Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school. 
The girls jump into their parent’s embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together. 
“How was school, darlings?” Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol. 
“It was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirds” she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.
“Which reminded me to tell you,” she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her. 
“I hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.” she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms. 
“Nuh uh, this was my idea first!” 
Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in. 
“Plan? What plan?” You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.
“To get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!” Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together.  
“How am I just finding out that there was a plan?” Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car
“When did you two even think of all this?” grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.
“Yeah, I'm curious too” he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.
Your daughters look at each other before smiling. 
“It’s a long story.”
But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.
Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.
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taglist: @vent-stink @dazzlingstarrs @vcutparis @xpixie @potatos-on-clouds @showingmafandomlove @bibbleypoof @kpop-will-kill-me @avantalem @beabatiny @gabrielle-brugger @nsixns @amaranth1ne @stayminho @myblovedjyh @kkeshia @rebekah-reads @yoonbroom @4kwp @butterflydemons @iwaizumiismybae @soobinsputnik @stayatinykatsy @atitties @justconniez @kitten4sannie @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @cheolsthicthighs @morethingsfandom @geminiml95 @byuntrash101 @quailbagutte @syubseokie @newworldwritings @urmom26john @sleepy-kat-here @pearltinyy @hjshyhyssnmgwyjh @cursedeastern @starryunho @piratekingateez2001 @jiminbility @paumll @drinkingrumandcocacola @roomsofangel @channies-bbg-room @meanaonthemoon @teeztopia @pommelex @kiln9z @sanhwalvr @youresolivlie @edawg77 @a-0206 @summer-gyu @bvidzsoo @yoongzsmile28 @tournesol155
#wet kissy on ur forehead for writing the best pussy drunk stupid dad!hj#as a certified pyeongie and a fast reader i took a lot of time to consume 18k fic...u HAD ME DOING JUMPING JACKS EXCUSME?#reactions so haywired i ahd to use these bigass gifs and pictures to convey my feelings.#FIRST AND FOREMOST#THESE TWO KIDS ARE ACTING IN PAIN AND HOW TF DID THEY BOTH NOT NOTICE!!!!#like i would be drooling all over the backsear and that one turn would wake me up making me act and my PARENTS WILLL NOTICE😭#but the twinsies are so cute my god they are the icons of this fics i lobe them#wish i could record myself because the dialogues are what made this fic so interactive for me. each one of them had elicited a response out#im a theatre kid and the dialogues oh wow#let me in i need some script advice.#and it has ruinef me for other fics once again.#WHEN OC PICKED UP THE POT BC OF HIS COMMENT AND SLAMMED THE DOOR AND HE GRINNED. IM ON THE FLOOR. TAKE ME. RN.#HOW OBVIOUS BOTH OF THEM WERE#kinda made me realise i can never be eunseo and eunbyeol of my parents bc they would actually throw the pots at eo N E WAYS#“im pretty sure we fucked” im pretty sure u both are still in love cmon shut up now.#WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE POINT WHY DID THE ACTUALLY DIVORCE???? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? FIGHTS??? MARRIAGE HAPPENED TOO SOON???? OING????#i feel the need to put it out in the world that them using “we were mean to eo” “friends?” is eldest sibling in their safe space coded.#idk thats a stupid logic but it was my uncensored thought to that moment#both of them are so sexy for the gourmet dinner scene i almost pissed#THE WAY I JUMPED WHEN THE TWINS SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY LIKE#U DIDNT JUST I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND OC TELLING U TO CHASE AND U GO WELP *cries internally im sorry BLAH BLAH BLHA#BITCH RUN FOR UR LIFE THATS THE MOTHER OF UR CHILDREN!!!!#i genuinely tweaked everytime they used mother of my children father of my children...all the possesive terms oh lord.#so vcutparis lore coded. we love the above tag.#“making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name. ”#DAMN FUCKING RIGHT AN DTHEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD. THE WAY I BANGED MY 2000 PAGES OF NOTES ?#i love this fic sm#and another favourite scene is when grandma hong calls twins HER LITTELE SQUIRRELS ACK ACK ACK ACKCKCCCCCCCCCCKK just set me on fire.#AND WHEN EUNSEO BLURTS OUT SHE WANNA STAY AT THE RESORT FOREVER? and then the scene changes to tanned hongjoong laughing smiling.#i curled over and cried
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girlivealwaysbean · 29 days ago
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it's so crazy how internet has brainwashed us into thinking that the secret to perfect skin is buying a fuckton of expensive makeup products and a 15 step makeup routine and not like. eating healthy food drinking water exercising
#im breaking out like crazy and i know it's because of pms because on the chin is always hormonal#and like. i know it's because of food because in the 3 months i lived with my dad i never broke out so badly#and i remember that when i used fo live here at home this happened monthly and i even went to the dermatologist flr it#and im still using the facewash and everything but it didn't really heal those like they still came every month and I didn't understand why#but well now i get it😭#but ughhh what ks this am i supposed to not eat junk food all my life????#like the gynac who said i have pcod said that outside food has a lot of salt and tons of preservatives in sugar#and i know that's what i need to stop eating#but it's hard :( food js practically my top 5 reasons of happiness#i think if i lose a lot of weight and this pcod business clears up then i will be able to eat it because#I didn't used to have this bad breakout when i weighed less#fuck man i am 20 kgs more than my normal routine weight how did i let this happen 🥲#and how will this go away#man halsey was so right when she sang i wanna hold my skin between my fingers and cut off some parts with scissors#like ughh i know that's so dark but it would be so easy i wish it worked like that#but anyway makeup is insane wow i was jjst thinking taht oh no i have to go out tonight maybe i should buy concealer#and there are soooo many shades and it's so expensive so i was watching yt videos and they were#all talking about how to conceal your under eyes and im like wait woahhh I didn't even think about that is this something#people do everyday wtf???? like the video was titled 'get rid of grey skin under your eyes' and like wow I didn't even realise#that that was something that needs to be done like who is even noticing these things????#so that broke my crazy makeup want lol im like ok this is insane you're just trying to make me waste money#and ykw i will use my money but on other things like buying vegetables and fruits#i really REALLY need to start walking btw.but problem is that even if i listen to music while walking#my brain is an overactive mess that hates to see me happy like i hate being alone with my thoughts it's always thinking horrible things if#i let it rest for even a minute like why do u think it's so hard for me to study. it's!! not!! captivating!! enough!!#maybe i should listen to podcasts? i wish i could listen to my lectures while walking#but there's so much to write and highlight and underline in every subject it's impossible#aaah idk
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jonesypiercedme · 3 months ago
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Just
It isnt fair to tell someone they can go back to their happier self, to the person they were before they were broken, when shattering trauma has been their birthright.
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toothfa-1-ry · 1 month ago
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YOU STILL LIKE IT THOUGH
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GENRE: Fluff, crack fic ish?
PAIRING: Choi su-bong/thanos x preg!fem!reader
FEAT: Nam gyu as the supportive bestie (that he never rlly was)
A/N: this fic i based of a request from anon !! Tbh i changed ALOT of the request (haha- sorry 😞) because I felt like it was a little repetitive and idk i just can't write rlly emotional scenes with Thanos for some reason (??) ALSO I feel like there are parts where Thanos seems ooc? Idk.. i wrote this instead of studying in the span of 30 mins
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"Whoo!" You hear Thanos shout on the top of his voice while he high fives nam gyu as they both jump up and down as if they were children in elementary school after winning a play ground game
You manage your groan, suppressing it while you stare at them from afar, of course that crazy fucker managed to pass through the first game.
You hated to admit it, but a part of you was relieved,
You always had a thing for psycho guys, and your ex boyfriend? The one with the brightly dyed hair who was now doing some weird dance seemed to proudly embody every part of that sentiment.
You carefully watch from afar, not wanting to catch his eyes, your hand unknowingly lay over your stomach while you move uncomfortably in the bunk bed
Fuck, your feeling dizzy all over again
You hear a thud against your bed post, you look up slowly, your eyes slightly squinting to see the purple haired boy with a usual frown on his face
"Hey" his eyebrows raise "are you okay"
"I thought I told you to get lost earlier"
Your mood swings weren't really helping either
"Geez woman" thanos tchs but sits beside you in your bed anyways "im just trying to help" grumbling under his breath but the cautious expression in his face saied otherwise
"I came here to brag about how amazing i usually am but seeing you like this is just killing the vibe yknow"
he makes a hand gesture in the air, leaning face closer in an attempt to make you smile which does not go wasted as the smile you tried to supress escaped your face
"Fuck off you loser" your still kneeling, your hands over your knees and your face hiding behind your knees but he hears the smile in your voice anyways.
He wouldn't want to admit it, but he was relieved
He always had a thing for girls with pretty voices and you? The girl right next to him had to have one of the prettiest voices he had ever heard. Ofcourse who would better know than a rapper like himself?
"I thought I told you to stick close to me, instead you leech to that crazy old man" thanos says as he points towards gi hun who sat far away in the opposite side
You immediately slap his hand, causing him to wince while retracing it back, rubbing it softly
"How many times will I tell you! You shouldn't point your hands at strangers especially to people who are older" you scold him rather loudly causing him to wince even more
"Agh" thanos ruffles his neon hair while complaining "why don't you shout louder so that everyone will hear and laugh at me?"
You resist the urge to roll your eyes upon his childish manners, he really didn't change
Thanos suddenly bangs the top of the bunk with a loud sound, taking you by shock
"Oi" his voice loud and almost threatening "nam gyu" calling out the man above the bed
Immediately your taken by shock once more when a man's head pops upside down, with black oily hair falling all over his face from above the bed
"Yes Thanos?" Nam gyu quickly inquired while sparing you a quick glance which didn't go unnoticed by the scowling man next to you
"Did you hear her telling me off?" He points at nam gyu before quickly adding "careful, there's only one correct answer"
Nam gyu pauses and thinks which seems to be the wrong thing to do as it just annoys Thanos
"Whats wrong with you, tell me quickly!"
"N-no! Not at all! Infact nobody heard anything!" Nam gyu quickly says, obviously lying but this seemed to please Thanos who now held a haughty face
Wow, this is was supposedly the father of your unborn child. Shame you and your taste in weird guys
Before Thanos could open his mouth to say something, a group of pink guards enter the room with large containers
Straight away you freeze up, shrinking behind the bed while your heart hammered, fear spread across your face
Noticing your expression on your face, instinctively Thanos covers you with his back, shielding you with his arms which covered your sides while his expression, though you could not see was filled with wariness
The pink guards open the large containers they were carrying as everyone watched quietly, scared as they were unsure of what to expect, you included
The pink guard with the white circle lifts up a piece of bread and milk "lunch time" announcing in the same robotic voice like all the other guards
A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as your shoulders relax, unlike you Thanos still shields you, covering your face with his back
You hit him with a thud on the back of his head
"What the hell man" thanos turns around, his eyes glaring at you
"Stop trying to act like a hero you shameless prick" you frown even though his actions did leave you with a warm feeling in your heart
"Your acting so protective after all the stunt you pulled before we broke up" you continue "seeing you act all so protective is just pissing me off even more"
Thanos throws his head back, groaning "give me a break woman. You know I was going through a hard time"
"Bullshit" your fold your arms, as if it was act to protect yourself, and the unborn baby in your stomach.
The poor thing was only 2 months old
The both of you hear nam gyu cough from above the bed, forgetting that he was there in the first place
Again Thanos bangs the top of the bunk, causing you to give him a look
"Stop doing that" you scold him
"doing what?" Thanos raises his eyebrow before banging the top of the bunk again while sticking his tongue at you
Nam gyu pops back down again, upside down, the sight would have been hilarious only if you weren't experiencing the pain in your stomach and the sight of the man sitting beside you
"Go get lunch for me and my girl" thanos tilts his head towards you while avoiding your eyecontact while you tell yourself not to think about the fact that he still referred to you as 'his girl'
"go fast what are you still doing here" thanks reprimanded nam gyu
Nam gyu awkwardly stood unsure of what to say "but it's just one bread and one milk per person"
"Then give her yours" thanos said simply "and go steal someone's lunch for me"
"Then what about for me?" Nam gyu asked dumbfounded which caused Thanos to pause and think for a while
"That's not my fucking problem man- now go" he pushes him away, leaving you with a heavy sigh
"I don't want to eat"
"Don't talk bullshit" thanos eyes you "you think i'm gonna let you starve? I never did, and i wont be starting now"
Again with the whole protective boyfriend act, fuck, why did it make your heart race a little?
"Your still such an asshole, you didnt change a bit" you huffed as you leaned behind, resting your back against the wall
"Well you changed" thanos says which quirks your curiosity
"How so?'
"I don't know" he shrugs "something is different. Something happened, i can't exactly ppint my fi ger at it though"
Your eyes dart away from his while your breathing started to fasten slightly
"Oh yea? How so?" You ask, your voice slightly higher than it was which Thanos picks up immediately
"Ohoho" he grins "did I get it right? Did you get something done?" He glances you up and down which leads you to hitting him
"Ow- i was just joking, you still take everything so seriously" he grumbled holding your hand from hitting him "I wish that part had changed'
Your other hand comes swinging which he again grabs softly
"jokingg" he says in a sing song voice before letting both your arms go leaving you with a scowl and him with a satisfied smirk in his face
"Asshole" you mutter which stretches his smirk even more
"You still like it though"
You almost swear you heard a hint of vulnerability in his tone, prompting you to glance at him quickly just to catch him already looking at you
"So? Aren't you gonna ask me what has changed?" You ask slowly, in your head trying to process whether your doing the right thing or not,
You first found out you were pregnant with your baby right after you and Thanos broke up.
The following days, whenever you went to pay him a visit, he was always missing, causing you to believe maybe it was better for him not to know. And then you suddenly meet him for the first time after your breakup during the squid games
The timing was almost comical
"Why?" Thanos continued still with an amused face "you still seem the same on the inside"
Your hand immediately goes to your stomach, slowly tracing along it from above the green track jacket which everyone wore
"Don't tell me your sick or something" thanos asks with his voice slightly raised as he notices your action "fuck are you?"
His eyes slightly widens as he frowns "hey" he snaps his finger upon your zoning out "are you sick?"
"Hm?" You ask confused
"What the fuck" he swears under his breath with a anxious expression on his face while his hand runs through his finger "is that why your here? To win some money for your treatment?"
"Su Bong its not like that-" All your attempts of correcting him seemed to be futile as he sweared loudly, getting out of the bed
"Shit shit shit!" He grabs his head while he paced around the floor, a sight you had seen a few times over the span of your relationship
"ofcourse that's why your here, you would only be here for a sensible reason"
"Oh, su bong" you attempt to appeal to him, reaching your hand out, pulling his closer towards you while he hands were still over his head, eyes lowered
"Fuck baby I'm so sorry" he breathed out "shit i never should have left, i thought" he paused "I thought I'd win some money and get you back, give you the life you really deserve but"
You watch his dazed expression while he rambled, you bit you underlip, hesitant of whether to tell him the truth still
"Fuck, i didn't even know that, i didn't even know you were sick-"
Before he could continue again you grab his face , forcing him to look at your face
"I'm not sick, that's not why im here"
Thanos breathed heavily, everything felt so real suddenly, he felt his cross necklace strapped around his neck, his fingers itching to pop a pill in his mouth to sooth his nerves
"I'm not sick" you shake your head as you lean your forehead against his "su-bong"
You can still feel his strained breaths and darting eyes
"I'm pregnant"
And it all stopped,
You held your breath, afraid of what would happen if you let go, your could heart your heartbeat from your ears, feel the realisation setting inside thanos,
You were scared. Scared of how he would react
He breaks away first, slowly and gently. Staring at you with no expression in his face,
"And it's yours" you rapidly feel the need to add, taken back by his silence which didn't not suit him "and i know having a kid was never in your plan, and i know things are over between us but-"
Your body is wrapped by his arms and his face nestles in your neck, pulling your deeper in his embrace
"Holy shit" thanos whispers in your ear, you can hear the giddiness radiating off his voice "im a dad"
"Yea you are" you laugh a little as you say "your a dad"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I never got the chance to"
Thanos furrows his eyebrows but doesn't press any more "will you let me be our baby's dad?" He ask
"You know I grew up without a dad, this kid doesn't deserve that" he pokes your stomach with a soft grin which looked slightly odd against his eccentric features "I wanna be in this kids life"
You nodd softly, hearing his words
"And yours too" thanos looks up to you, grinning while he winked at you "senorita"
"You corny bastard" you laugh shaking your head
"You still like it though"
You nodd your head, with tenderness in your eyes and voice
"I do"
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊ extra scene pack !!
"Thanos!" Nam gyu came running with 3 pieces of sweet bread and 3 packets of milk "I got it! Do you know how much trouble i went to get all these-"
"Give it here " thanos grabbed all the bread and milk away "why did you take so long anyways"
Nam gyu held his hands as he pouted "I mean- i had to fight like 2 guys for bread and milk for us-"
Thanos brushed him off as he opened all the packets of bread and poked in the straw of all the milk packets
"Uhm thanos" nam gyu apprehensively called out "What are you doing?"
Thanos hands you all the bread and urges you to eat while he holds the packets of milk in his hand, ready to feed you
Thanos gestures towards you who was sitting in the bed, now wrapped in not only your jacket but his aswell "can't you see the lady is pregnant"
Nam gyu scratched his head "pregnant? With who?"
Thanos shakes his head, exaggerating his actions "dumb ass, she's pregnant with my baby ofcourse" he announced like it was the most obvious thing in the world
"Holy shit!" Nam gyu gaped his hand covering his mouth as he stares at you while you sheepishly smile at him
Thanos let out a small laugh which then slowly grew louder
"What? Why are you surprised? Ofcourse i succeeded in my first try- fuck" he kneels down in pain after being striked by you in the stomach
Nam gyu pulls a face in behalf of Thanos as he pats his back sympathetically while he whispers to you
"Don't worry. I know it probably wasnt his first try or anything- ow" nam gyu kneels on the ground after being hit in the stomach by thanos
₊˚。⋆❆⋆。˚₊
"What... what are you guys doing?" You question as you approach Thanos and nam gyu who were huddled up in a corner, in a long rather quiet conversation which seemed like an unusual activity for both of them to part take in
Both in the 'discussion' and 'quiet' part
Thanos loops his arm around your with a proud smirk on his face while urging nam gyu to announce what they were discussing
Nam gyu nodds eagerly as gets up in his two feet quickly, standing straight and tall with a loud and confident voice "we have decided the perfect name for the baby !!"
You see thanos's broad smile and nam gyu's confident voice, uneasiness settling in your stomach for whatever name they picked out
"These is the name that Thanos and i have personally given a lot of thought for and chosen after much contemplation !!"
Thanos nodded his head with a content expression while he winked at you, assuring that you'll like it
"Ahem" nam gyu clears his throat "before I announce the name that we have chosen, i would like to give recognition to the name we almost chose aswell !!"
Thanos immediately began clapping his hand loudly "waaah, I never knew you could speak so well "
This comment made nam gyu's chest fill swell with pride as he puffs out his chest a little
"I shall now, announce the first runners up, the name that almost was given to the new born baby"
nam gyu pauses which prompts Thanos to make the sound of drum rolls
"Nebula" nam gyu announces as he and thanos clap loudly.
Seeing your still figure both men urge you to claps aswell
"Nebula?" You mutter under your breath "where have i heard that name before?"
"And now, the name that has been selected over numerous selection test and discussion, the name of the baby is" nam gyu points at your stomach
"Gamora"
Thanos whoops loudly, both nam gyu and him clapping their hands in the air while you stand off handedly as it hits you
"Your naming our child after the daughter of the purple alien monster from a superhero movie?!"
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tkbrokkoli · 2 years ago
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moonlit-imagines · 7 months ago
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Headcanons for being Johnny Lawrence’s daughter
Johnny Lawrence x daughter!reader
warnings: alcohol, underage drinking, classic johnny sexism <3
a/n: WHAT! ME write a fic thats not gn, i know. im shocked too but its just bc i feel johnny is so gender-stereotypey that doing this gn wouldn’t work very well but very open to a son!r or nb!r if anyone is interested (bc seriously. johnny cannot help but bring up genders). also i just want to say that a lot of this (not all!) honestly reminds me of or are actual things that have happened w my dad bc johnny is literally my dad if my dad was like 8 years older i think also i wrote this all in one sitting ALSO NO COBRA KAI SEASON 6 SPOILERS
prompt:
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GIRL DAD!
you always kinda just gravitated toward living with your dad
“y/n, i’m so proud of you. i never have to worry about you. you can take care of yourself. robby on the other hand, i worry about him. i think girls are just more self sufficient” -johnny, a little drunk
“thanks dad” -you, also a little drunk (hes a “cool dad”)
he was the type of parent that “prefers that if you’re gonna do something stupid at least do it while he’s around” aka underage drinking
whenever he stays out late you fall asleep in his bed. and lock him out
“y/n! open the door!” -johnny, banging on the door
“no! your bed is more comfortable” -you
he thought it was sweet honestly but he did want to sleep in his bed
sort of like a lesson not to come home late all drunk and gross
he was VERY against letting you drive his car
“dad, i need my license!” -you
“no woman is getting behind the wheel of my firebird” -johnny
“why do you have to make it about women? i’ll fight you” -you
“you’ll lose that fight” -johnny
“oh, so you’d fight a teenage girl? wow, real classy, dad” -you
“no, but i’d fight my teenage daughter. i brought you into this world and i’ll take you out” -johnny
you honestly had a great sense of humor with johnny, but you’d check him if he said anything too messed up
“dad, it’s not the 80’s anymore, you can’t say that” -you
“dont tell me what i can and cant say! the 80’s were awesome, i wish it was the 80’s again” -johnny
“so i’ve heard” -you
he helped you with your homework as a kid until like, 2nd grade when multiplication and division got involved
he did teach you karate growing up! but mostly the basics, for self defense purposes
“hey, never let any guy try to impress you with his karate skills. he’s probably a douche” -johnny, pausing “i sure was”
late night movie marathons (70s/80s classics for sure)
he took care of you during your first hangover (high school parties, ya know)
“didn’t i teach you better than to mix liquors” -johnny
“ugghhhh” -you
yes, you have heard about daniel larusso. enough said LMAO
robby and you had a kind of sweet but distant relationship
occasional check-in texts
robby: are you doing okay with dad? he’s actually buying food and shit?
you: yeah! he’s fine right now, how’s mom? new stepdad yet? is he rich?
robby: mom’s not going anywhere she’d find a rich guy, but keep dreaming
you wear a lot of your dad’s old t-shirts. usually band tee’s
oh and he made sure you got into the “right music”
he used to drive you around in the firebird when you were a SMALL CHILD (front seat, no car seat!) and blast his old cassettes
for YEARS he’d pull the “who is this” “what song is this” game with the reasoning:
“if you wear a band shirt and some asshole asks you to name three songs, i want you to name ten” -johnny
listen. you were still “daddy’s girl” or whatever used to be a cute little saying and is now ruined but whatever
“dad, can i have twenty bucks?” -you
“for what” -johnny
“for fun. pleaseeee” -you
*johnny pulls out his wallet and gives you $40*
could he afford it? no. can he say no? also no.
the absolute fear he felt when you got your first period
“it’s fine, i can call mom” -you
“no, it’s not fine! i’ve had girlfriends before, i got this. stay here, i’ll be back” -johnny
he went to the store and bought the most random assortment of period products and pain meds and snacks and a heating pad
A for effort
when the diaz family moved in across from you guys, miguel took one look at you and johnny said:
“stay away from my daughter”
when the karate fuss got started you tried to keep your distance but sooner or later you joined the dojo and proved to your dad just how “badass” you could be
“take notes everyone, y/n’s gonna be the next all valley champ!” -johnny
taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @retvenkos // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @sapphireplums // @petersgroupie // @ravenhood2792 // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @elemental-of-magic //
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pinkaditty · 3 months ago
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HI i love your works sm ,,, and i really love the way you write it just brings out soemtnhign in me ,,, but hear me out on leo kurosagi angst where leo keeps insulting pc and pc just took it well until he said something sensitive (maybe sth ab the way she eats? or sth abt her face etc etc) and hurt pc's feelings and he didnt feel bad when pc cried , but when he saw pc going over to sho and sho giving him dirty looks he feels remorseful but he didnt want his pride to crack so he blamed pc , and then when pc started avouding him he started mocking her but in the inside it hurt him and his pride slightly , afterwards he found out he actually has genuine feelings for pc but denies it , until he found out pc is now his bff's gf WOW i NEED him humbled 🤗🤗🤗
Pavlov's Ghoul (Leo Kurosagi x Reader x Sho Haizono; Tokyo Debunker)
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hey anon this existing is UR FAULT. (ilysm ty 4 the idea) and i hope u don't mind that I added my own little twist 2 it... hehe! even if u didn't expect me 2 write anything u can't drop a fresh, juicy steak of an idea like this and expect me not 2 salivate and tear it 2 shreds via writing it out.
OMG also TYYYYYYY IM SOSO GLAD U LIKE MY WRITING YIPPEE!!!!!!!!! i hope this is up 2 ur standards anon
a/n: why does this exist? blame anon and my inner need 4 a bitchy boy 2 be humbled amen! also i feel like i've completed my tokyo debunker rite of passage... ive finally written leo angst... nirvana at last.
summary: leo gets fuckin pavloved LMAO! considered calling this "ecstasy" or something bc of the pill line but ohh my god "pavlov's ghoul" hit too hard i fear.
cw: this isn't dark imo but be warned as this is just a little bit crazy, the most insane kind of yearning ive ever written maybe. implied sexual encounters, multiple sexual innuendos, and some odd behavior. MINORS DNI AS PER USUALLLLLL!
Looking for Part 2? Click here!
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Sho's kind, reasonably so. Leo knows this. Sho also has an infinite store of deeply repressed anger. Leo also knows this. It's the reason he's in Vagastrom, after all. A deep, roiling anger that seems to eat at him if he doesn't have an appropriate outlet to balance his mood. That's why he's such a good cook, why he's so good at fighting, why he's got an excellent sense of balance and rides his bike smoother than anyone else he knew. He's using these things as outlets for his anger. It's not Leo's fault that the occasional outing to trick and deceive another sexually repressed rich old man for money is something else Sho seems to derive stress relief from. And it's not Leo's fault that Sho continues to stick around with him after those jobs are done. It's never been a problem for either of them, as far as he can tell. At least, there were no problems until Little Miss Inspector showed up.
Suddenly, Sho didn't want to lie anymore. Suddenly, Sho wanted to go as far as to address you with the proper honorifics, ask for your help with setting up his food truck, and even generally spend time with you outside of that. And for what? Some trembling, scared, pathetic girl that knew nothing of the world of anomalies prior to her curse? Some girl doomed to "die" in less than one year, no less? He couldn't understand the kindness Sho showed you. It made no sense, nor any difference. You'd be dead soon, so what did it matter?
It's got to the point where he's begun to randomly put you down with petty insults and biting remarks. They usually consist of things like "Oh my god, even preschoolers know Anomalous Biological Basics! Come on Inspector, is your head screwed on right? Not even the Captain is this stupid." or "You remember your ability is useless when we need it, right? You'd be nothing more than a burden on missions if you can't even control this power. " or even "God, you're such a basic loser. Can't you find something else to do with your free time instead hang around Sho like a lovesick puppy? You're starting to look like that dog that's always around Kagami." and worse insults. He gets the occasional sidelong disapproving glance from Alan or even a slight furrowed brow from Sho, but it didn't matter to Leo. So long as he could slowly plant seeds of doubt in his fellow ghouls and put you down to satisfy his ego, even an odd look was negligible.
He couldn't even stand looking at you. The uniform they'd chosen for you was awful, didn't even highlight your curves. He hated the way you styled your hair, and always thought he could totally do it better. The way you seemed so relaxed around other ghouls pissed him off, why couldn't he be good company? He found you repulsive, unable to resist glaring at you from the corner of his eye whenever he could. He had to get rid of you somehow. He would never admit to feeling threatened by you; instead choosing to focus all that energy into believing you were simply throwing a wrench into his plans to live an easy, get-away-with-anything university life.
It's all come to a head today. Leo thinks he's had enough of seeing you at the food truck after hours, chatting it up with Sho. It's like he can't even catch this guy alone anymore. Before he knows it, he's made a beeline for the truck. His brand new shoes scuff on the brick path in his rush, and eventually begin to stain green on the grass, his brisk stride tearing through the verdant lawn. He tries not to let his anger show on his face, but it's evident in his posture and pace. He forcefully sidles himself into the conversation, leaning on the service counter next to you, not even waiting for you to finish speaking before he pipes up. "Wow, here again, huh? And here I thought a basic bitch like you would know her place! That mouth of yours must be good for something if he keeps a chatterbox like you around."
The chill settles into the air almost immediately despite his candid tone and relaxed, smug smile. He's so focused on your reaction that he hardly notices the look Sho gives him, twisted with displeasure and confusion. He watches as you visibly falter, your lopsided smile fading into a barely-there frown. He stares, unrepentant, laughing internally. This was the reaction he wanted.
He turns towards Sho and raises an eyebrow at his look. "What? She can take it." Sho's expression visibly wavers, and Leo fully expects him to back down, as he usually does. But instead, Sho turns to you and his face grows pale. Leo rolls his eyes, assuming Sho is totally overreacting, and turns to you. He stiffens at your visible tears. Okay, totally not what he expected, but come on. This was the insult that made you cry?
Leo notices Sho is at your side in record speed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, and gently drawing your hunched form away, giving Leo a harsh look. Leo simply scoffs. As far as he was concerned, your reaction was pathetic. It wasn't going to stop him from having any fun.
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This. Under no circumstances should this hurt. At all.
Leo had noticed you'd been avoiding him. You would slink away if he so much as entered the same room as you. You wouldn't look him in the eyes if he approached, keeping your expression impassive. Sometimes you'd just outright ignore him. It was beginning to become a bit of a nuisance. He couldn't properly mock you if you weren't there to witness it happening, or didn't give him the reaction he wanted. It was odd. When he faced these feelings head-on, it almost felt like he wanted your attention somehow, even if he didn't quite want it to feel like that. A nagging feeling told him that maybe he went too far with his latest insult. He didn't want to admit that, but something told him he did. It was in the way both you and Sho acted around him.
Sho was missing a lot of Leo's calls lately, sometimes not even bothering to call back. Leo partially understood, what with the food truck business booming and all, but he didn't appreciate being made to wait for his own best friend who's usually at his beck and call. Not to mention the flat, terse responses he would get from Sho more often than not nowadays. Leo knew Sho was miffed with him from last week's incident, but as far as Leo was concerned, things still ended in his favor. He hadn't seen you around Sho much anymore, which means he could go back to how things were. No more pesky little honor student to reign upon his days any longer! Sure, there was the biting underlying feeling that maybe he'd screwed things up, but one ride on the back of Sho's motorcycle, going wherever Leo wanted as per usual, and he was living the dream again. No way everything would change over a silly, insignificant insult.
For a short while, he begins to get bolder, openly mocking you when he does come across you. His originally surface-level remarks become rather personal, even using your eventual death as a way to tease you. From "You know, I'm surprised you haven't done anything to change up that unflattering look, considering you're dying soon. Ever considered dressing up a little? You might get some attention before you die." to "Hey, Little Miss Inspector! With the number of men you talk to around campus, I'm surprised nobody's written you off as a whore yet!", and worse, of course. He continues to get no such reaction out of you, and it frustrates him to no end. Why couldn't you just frown? Shrink away? Or even retort something just as scathing back to him? Your lack of entertainment towards his endless ridicule reduced his motivation, and slowly, it ended up dying off. Soon, he left you alone altogether, not talking to you unless necessary, mimicking your actions. In a way, some part of him hopes maybe this will be what gets your attention. Even if he can't quite admit to himself that your attention, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, is what he wants.
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It's late, but Vagastrom students don't go to bed until far later. And Leo needs a favor.
His crushing lack of success in garnering any sort of attention or reaction or rise from you had driven him to a point. He didn't want to apologize to you or anything, but this new habit of you ignoring him was beginning to stoke his displeasure. In his pondering, he remembered how easily Sho captured your gaze and wondered if maybe he'd have any idea of what Leo could do to at least put an end to this stalemate.
Leo's reluctance shows in the way he drags his feet on the path to Sho's room, less than eager to confront him for his opinion on something so shamelessly trivial. Why was he wasting his time with this anyway? Surprisingly, the lack of a solid answer to that question did not stop his trek. A twinge in his chest told him he knew exactly why he was "wasting his time".
In the month it had been since he'd made you cry, the nagging feeling had only gotten harsher. His mind kept flickering back to the shock of your tears and how he'd not bothered to consider it much further. An uncomfortable guilt had made itself known starting then. He never really expected you to cry; he just wanted a mild reaction. He wanted your eyes on him, flashing with anger, just for a moment. Your ire was a saccharine pill laced with ecstasy that he'd gladly crush with his teeth to speed up his high. Maybe it'd be too much to say he got off on it, but he enjoyed the way you used to roll your eyes at any comments from him a little more than he cared to admit. Now, he wouldn't even get that. It'd be rare for you to so much as make fleeting eye contact with him, not that something as small as that would be enough for Leo. Part of him was willing to accept that maybe, he'd gone too far. Maybe. But how else was he supposed to monopolize your attention when you give that out so freely? To his best friend, even?
He didn't know it was possible to covet something so terribly. He found himself wondering why he couldn't catch your attention in the same way as the other ghouls? In his quest for the same attention you gave so freely to the kinder, softer ghouls, he found another version of your attention. It was negative, but it was attention nonetheless. Your sweet, honeyed rage seemed to fill his cravings and then some, so he continued to devour it under the guise of "chasing you away" or "putting you down" or "satisfying his ego". In truth, for whatever reason, there was a rather bothersome and persistent envious longing, a covet, for your attention. Leo wants to vomit. A part of him denies it still, pushing his needless feelings to the back of his brain. He had something to do, and he ought to focus on that. What good would mere wallowing do?
He makes it to Sho's room and almost considers turning back. He stares at the door, his expression morphing into a complicated look. He shifted his feet, his slippers sliding against the floor. It was quite clear he really did not want to do this. At all. He sighs and grumbles indignantly, putting his head in his hands in an attempt to gather some courage. This couldn't be that hard, right? Just in, ask Sho a question, get an answer, then out. The only reason this was easier said than done was just because it could potentially show Leo was capable of feeling remorse, which would make this conversation leagues harder than it needed to be. He shakes his head and straightens up, preparing to knock, when he notices something.
Sho's room was... unusually quiet. Usually, Leo almost always heard some loud music or a cooking show running in the background, but he couldn't hear anything this time. Sho couldn't possibly be asleep. As late as it was, the only person who Leo knew for a fact could stay up past him was Sho, regardless of how much sleep he had gotten. There was no chance Sho was asleep. Believe it or not, Leo doesn't like to spy on Sho. But curiosity overwhelms him. What could he possibly be doing that would render the whole room in silence?
"Haxs," he whispers, listening closely.
The first thing he hears is the cling-clanging of Alan hard at work on a car in the garage. Not the sound he was meant to be focusing on. Then he hears endless jeering and loud insults shouted, though they're all muffled like they're underground. Another pit fight? Still, not the sound he's looking for. He sifts through the sounds he hears before he settles on the one coming directly from Sho's room.
Voices. Groaning, strained voices. The sound of wet skin against wet skin. Panting. Sho's panting, specifically. He could tell by the slight nasally tone of it.
Leo felt his face gradually warm. Christ, of course it'd be this he'd be up to. Leo muffles a laugh into the collar of his pajamas, keeping his hand clamped over his mouth as his body shook with mirth. When he finally calms down, he slinks off to the corner down the hall, and hides himself there, shamelessly still listening to it. Sho's a sly dog. Leo certainly didn't expect him to be getting up to anything this soon. He leans his body against the wall, crossing his arms and drumming his fingers on his arm, waiting for Sho to finish. He smirks to himself, as though enjoying the vocal show.
...
He had to admit, whoever he was with had gorgeous moans. He'd have to ask Sho if he'd be willing to pass this girl's number. He could use a couple things to get his mind off of you.
...
Okay, he had to stop listening to this now. He lifts his stigma and holds his hands over his ears for good measure, partially trying to hide the furious red blush across his face. As pretty as that girl's moans were, he was not going to listen to his best friend's climax. No thanks. He huffs out an impatient breath as his cheeks cool down, leaning his back against the wall, leaning his head back until it hit the wall with a dull thump. Now he just had to wait it out. He knew damn well Sho would never let a girl stay over. He'd never hear the end of it from yours truly, Leo.
Leo's right. It isn't long before he hears the door to Sho's room click, and hears murmured voices travel down the hall. He smirks, rushing down the hall in the opposite way, so it doesn't look like he was listening the whole time. He listens, waiting for a cue of some sort.
"Shame you have to go, you know." Sho's voice. Laced with relief, pleasure, and a thick tiredness. Leo's skin crawled. He could practically feel the smile in Sho's voice.
"It's not so bad." The girl responded with a light and playful tone, her voice seemingly much more put together than Sho's despite all that moaning. The voice sounded oddly familiar, but Leo brushed it off. Must be someone he shares classes with. "I've got things to do anyway. But it was nice to spend some time with you, Sho." Eagh. Leo internally hopes this girl isn't the type to get easily attached.
"...Yeah. Same to you. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Finally, he heard the girl's footsteps trailing down the hall, heading in his direction. Leo hurriedly pulls his phone out of his pocket, making sure the screen was bright as he flipped through the latest trends. He made a point of not looking up until he heard the footsteps nearing him.
He looks up, prepared for a simple glance, but ends up being rooted to the spot.
It was you. Of course, it was you. Who else would be taunting enough?
Despite himself, his gaze remains glued to you, his head turning as you walk past him. For a moment, Leo thinks you're just going to ignore him again. Then, suddenly, your gaze meets his in a flash, and he stiffens, almost out of fear. The way your eyebrows crease and the way your lips twitch downward almost makes him salivate. You were clearly displeased to see him. Even so, he notices you don't slow down, continuing your way down the hall, not bothering to crane your neck to look at him.
Leo remains rooted to the spot, watching your figure as you leave. His jaw hangs open slightly, his chest heaving with shocked breaths. His eyes are wide open, pools of gold reflecting your retreating form. His hand trembles as he holds his phone, the latest trends left neglected in the wake of a single mean-spirited glance from you. He feels his heart pound mercilessly in his chest, as though confirming what he'd tried so desperately to deny.
All at once, anger and arousal seem to grip him simultaneously. Anger at himself for feeling arousal from a mere negative glance from you. He couldn't possibly have craved your attention so viscerally he'd happily accept mere scraps. And yet here he was, a lap dog, watching you as you leave as though silently begging for another glance, another chance to watch your eyes burn with that familiar, delicious anger, another meal to satisfy his starved heart.
For a moment, he would have gladly followed you, and pestered you to death, just to irk you and become a willing victim of your wrath. Anything... just for that attention.
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a/n: wow. no stop why am i kind of in shock at the poetic lines i kinda think i did a great job! but 4 whatever reason it's always the writing i think was total shit that does actual numbers *sob*
aghhhh in any case. no i don't have an excuse 4 this. my requests are still technically closed. i just... couldn't help myself... so consider this a freebie. regardless though if u like my writing feel free 2 fill the fuck out of my inbox idnc i love hearing from y'all.
also TUMBLR KEEPS TURNING OFF MY REBLOGS!!!! GRAH!!!!!! tumblr hates me y'all they keep catching on2 me 4 writing porn :( so please if u really wanna show appreciation and tumblr won't let u reblog, leave a comment! those make me happy :)
anyways. usual note that i adore likes, comments, and tagged reblogs!! please tell me how much you like my writing, i love to hear it and it keeps me going! until next timeeeeeeee!
EDIT: I FORGOTTT QUICK EXPLAINATION: im assuming everyone knows pavlov's dog and the whole classical conditioning theory. this story is basically that mixed with the mere-exposure effect.
neutral stimulus: mc's presence
natural response: leo's arousal/excitement
response-producing stimulus: mc's anger
mere-exposure effect: psychological effect in which a like or dislike of things is developed merely due 2 familiarity.
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javierduffy · 1 month ago
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oh my god i’m about to bare my entire soul to you guys real quick
but i just remembered that IVE ACTHALLY THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE !-?/?: I SHIPPED THEM BACK IN 2020 AND DREW JOVIERIAN WITH MY RDR2 FURRIES IM INSANE HOW DID I FORGET THIS 😭 I USED TO THINK ABOIT THEM ALL THE TIME 😭😭
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furries because i’ve been drawing them since the day i was born (almost literally) and it was easy and i sucked at humans at the time </3
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height difference chart which is so funny to me because i was literally just thinking about how i would portray their height difference in my style now and it looked exactly like this (but as humans)
literally how did i forget them i even wrote their relationships on their toyhouse profiles 😭💛
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I MISS THEM SO BAD
has anyone ever thought of shipping john with kieran ? is that a thing ? what’s their ship name ??
#having a memory disorder as bad as i do is insane because i feel like i just found the motherload of content for my rarepair ship BECAUSE TH#IS INFORMATION IS LITERALLY ENTIRELY NEW TO ME BY NOW#IM LIKE DAMN THIS SHIT IS HEAT ‼️‼️‼️ 🔥🔥🔥 AND ITS MY OWN WRITING FROM 5 YEARS AGO#please this is lowk embarrassing but to be cringe is to be free#i think a big reason of why i’ve slowly posted less and less and wrote less and drew less on this account is because it started with me just#having fun basically alone and now that i’ve got my tiny minuscule demographic ive become terrified of their perception of me and my skill#does that make sense ?#im discouraged (by my subconscious self who wants nothing but to be accepted and insecurity) from creating or even wanting to create because#my fear of looking stupid or writing a character a little inaccurately or drawing ‘badly’ now that i have people who are looking at me#especially since my current following is essentially made up of 5 or so people who see every single post i make and interact with me frequen#tly and even some of whom i respect and think are incredibly smart and skilled and generally i admire the creativity of. and i want to impre#ss everyone but that leaves no room for what *i* want to make because what *i* want to make is 90% of the time just. pure self indulgence#it’s hard to balance the desire to be accepted by a community and the need to have fun with creation#um. wow that was a tangent sorry but yeah enjoy my furries. i’m gonna try to post more and allow myself to create more even if im scared#because i remember this being so fun and these characters are so important to me and i just want to enjoy indulging in my hyperfixation agai#n#so ummm#more bad stuff coming soon !#text#hero talks about himself for 4 hours#iirc that’s the tag
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hwangism143 · 2 months ago
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all i want for christmas
synopsis the three christmas parties minho spent loving you and the one where he finally told you.
pairing non-idol!minho x fem!reader
genre holidays, best friends to lovers, fluff, comfort, 3 + 1 format
warnings mentions of foods, fires, cheating, physical violence (jokingly), swearing, pregnancy ;) , kissing, not proofread
word count 4.3k words
now playing all i want for christmas - mariah carey
a/n wow. so. i'm back. i genuinely missed you guys so much and im so happy to write again. i felt really guilty for just disappearing but this might be my only fic for a while. im sorry if it's bad im genuinely so out of practice.
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"i don't need a lot for christmas, there is just one thing i need"
zero.
Love was a dreadful, terrible thing. Minho knew firsthand.
He also knew that love could be beautiful. It existed everywhere.
It existed when Minho would feel a smile break out on his face when he would step through his door to the sound of his cats. He knew it existed in the way Chan always made sure that Seungmin had eaten and Jeongin wasn't too hard on himself. It existed in the way Hyunjin wore his emotional scars with pride and in the way Changbin's face would scrunch up adorably as soon as he saw his girlfriend.
But love must be a horrendous thing if it could someone as deserving of it as you through such excruciating pain.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
year one.
Minho always associated loving you with Christmas. It was mainly for two reasons: because you loved Christmas, and Christmas was when he realized he loved you.
Minho had become your best friend on the first day of college when you stumbled into him while looking for your batchmates after orientation. It was almost fate (despite Minho considering fate to be bullshit), the way he held onto your shoulders to make sure your face didn't hit the floor and you gave him a weak, petrified smile.
"Computer Science major?" he asked, and your quick reply in the positive laid the foundations of your unbreakable friendship.
Minho knew he loved you for a long time. But the realization of it dawned on him during your annual Christmas party when the two of you were in your second year of college.
You were absolutely fanatical about Christmas. Despite Minho's protests about your fascination being sickening, he secretly found it extremely endearing. You had confessed to him once, how your love for Christmas stemmed from the fact that you only saw your father during Christmas due to his demanding job of a military's medic.
That was the day Minho vowed to make sure nobody could ruin your Christmas.
You went all out Christmas decorations at your apartment. Your Christmas tree was huge and adorned with ornaments of various shapes, sizes and colours. Minho came early to help you and your roommate Kyujin with the Christmas baking, considering how last time the two of you tried to bake it took swatting towels and spraying water to get the smoke detector to stop.
But you were most excited to introduce your boyfriend to the rest of your friend group.
Minho wasn't happy about it, but he was happy for you. You loved the idea of romance but for some reason that Minho could not fathom, thought yourself undeserving of receiving the romantic variant of it. But your first boyfriend, whom you'd been seeing for three months, quickly changed that.
You were practically bouncing up and down on your toes as your mutual friends trailed into your tiny apartment.
"Y/N!" Jisung squealed as he barreled into your arms.
"Sungie!" you replied in equal enthusiasm.
Minho's heart melted watching you, his best friend, and Jisung, his roommate, getting along so well. In fact, sometimes he felt third wheeled by his two favorite people who wouldn't have known each other if it wasn't for him.
"Tonight," Jisung declared proudly, "I will serenade Minho with a tear-jerking rendition of 'All I Want For Christmas'."
Jisung stood on top of your couch, arms spread out proudly. He sent Minho a boisterous wink and Minho tried to hide a chuckle while rolling his eyes.
"The only tears shed will be because of Jisung's pathetic voice," grumbled Hyunjin, Jisung's best friend, already dreading the moment when he would have to drag his drunk and sappy ass back home.
Your cheeks turned pink in a poorly contained laugh while Hyunjin just gave you a shrug, only the three of you privy to Hyunjin's comment. Minho saw your face and found his own flushing, quickly blinking to make sure nobody noticed. Jisung shot Minho, you and Hyunjin an accusatory glance, but your little smirk caused him to look away in annoyance.
"I will not date you, Jisung," said Minho in an overly dramatic voice. Jisung pouted and this time, the whole room burst into laughter until Kyujin yelled a string of obscenities at him to get him off the couch.
But throughout the whole debacle, Minho's eyes only belonged to you. He couldn't help but wonder, how would you feel about dating him? These feeling had been brewing for long, even before you started dating Taehyun What's-His-Face. Minho knew he had feeling for you, but today he would realize just how deep they ran.
"You okay? Your cheeks are red man. Like, tomato red," asked the ever vigilant Chan.
"Oh, um, yeah. I'm good," replied Minho nervously, hoping that Chan didn't notice.
"Yep," said Chan, clearly unconvinced, his eyes still narrowed on Minho.
Minho did not get nervous easily. He was calm, stoic, composed. But around you, he was a ticking time bomb. You made Minho feel like a thousand dazzling fireworks had lit up in his stomach. You made him want to be spontaneous, silly and scream from the rooftops that he liked you and wanted to be with you.
You made Minho feel things he had never felt before, and it broke him everyday watching you feel those same things for someone who wasn't him.
Minho's eyes looked for yours, you slipping away sometime when he was contemplating his lost love. He finally found you, leaning against Kyujin bedroom door. Your loose sweater hung off a shoulder and pointer finger of your right hand was caught between your teeth. In your other hand was your phone which lit up when you opened.
God, you looked ethereal.
Until your eyes flickered up and down, you blinked multiple times and your brow creased while your bottom lip quivered. Minho had known you long and intimately enough that something was very, very wrong. Before you even looked up at him, your eyes conveying a silent cry, Minho was striding towards you like a man on a mission.
"Minho," you choked out, and he whisked you into Kyujin's room, giving a concerned Kyujin watching everything a tight nod as he did.
"Minho, Minho, he -" you were sobbing, gasping in wretched breaths that made it feel like a knife was twisting into his heart.
He watched you nearly terrified, rubbing your back soothingly. Minho murmured sweet nothings into your ear to get you to calm down and explain to him what had happened as his on heart raced at nearly a thousand miles per hour.
"What happened sweetheart? Y/N?" Minho asked, his voice laced with worry.
Wordlessly, you handed over your phone to him as you buried your face into his shoulder.
[7:32 PM]
taehyunnie: look y/n, i hate to do this on christmas but
taehyunnie: i have had something come up
taehyunnie: so i won't make it
[7:34 PM]
taehyunnie: quite frankly, we should break up
taehyunnie: i don't think either of us is in the right mental state to date right now.
taehyunnie: sorry.
Minho was seeing red. How could someone do something like this to you? You, who was perfect to the extent where even your imperfections were perfect? Minho was about to ask you what day you would like for him to murder Taehyun when you interrupted him.
"He's not wrong," you said, your voice barely a whisper. "I was so excited to date someone that I probably got to clingy and scared him off."
"That's not true," said Minho shaking your shoulders, "That's not true, anybody would be tripping over their feet to date you."
And as Minho repeated those words to you like a chant, over and over again until you believed them as much as he did, he felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Guilt simmered in his stomach because of the thoughts he was having.
Amidst the winter chill and your broken cries, Lee Minho realized that he was hopelessly and damningly in love with you.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
year two.
The second year Minho spent Christmas with you, things had changed. Minho's hair grew longer, curling at the base of his neck and you forbade him from cutting it. You had let go over your initial heartbreak from the events of the previous Christmas and for some reason, deluded yourself into thinking that you were unlovable.
The only thing that barely changed was Minho's love for you, apart from maybe how it increased in magnitude.
"You should tell her, you know. Or else you'll end up regretting it," remarked Hyunjin wisely.
The ever so observant boy was the only one who knew about Minho felt when it came to you. Even then, he didn't know the uncharted depth of how much Minho loved you. Just that he hopelessly and unequivocally did.
Minho glared at him in response, snatching a brownie from Hyunjin's hand, and began eating it as Hyunjin grumbled next to him in vain.
Minho was well aware that he was right. But he (foolishly), thought he was sparing you pain by miserably keeping his feelings to himself.
Minho hated and adored every second of loving you. He hated how stifling it was, not being able to whisper soft words of romance in your ear late at night and wake with you in his arms the next morning. But he adored how his heart picked up pace at just the sight of you and how he felt weightless at your featherlight brushes of his arm.
To put it simply, loving someone from afar was as temperamental as the oceans; the tides were hauntingly beautiful and gorgeously devastating but they were impossible to escape from.
An ugly metaphor, felt Minho, who had yet to master the art of swimming.
Minho sat on the couch, Hyunjin and Jeongin playing Mario Kart on one side of him and Chan and Kyujin engaged in an intense game of Uno on the other side of him. You were off socializing as you often did during your annual Christmas parties, but Minho knew you would come back to him.
You always did.
Minho set up shop at five in the morning that day with you. Kyujin had a Christmas dance recital that day, and you both were one set of hands down. From morning, the two of you diced, rolled and baked, dusted and decorated, troubled each other and even had a little tickling bout followed by a pillow fight (and plate of burnt snowman shaped cookies).
This was the future that Minho wanted, you by his side engaging in mundane activities with lazy, soft kisses peppered to each others lips every dya.
He watched, sick with envy, as Changbin scooped up his girlfriend Chaeyeon in his arms and start pressing kisses to her face while she squealed. Minho watched in dread and unease at all the couples around him engaged in extravagant acts of romance and subtle domesticity, dreaming of when, if ever, that would be you and him.
He was so distracted by the torrential current inside him that he hadn't noticed when Kyujin and Chan shifted their game to the kitchen island and you had sat down next him.
"Hi," you told him softly.
Minho blinked rapidly a the voice he would recognize anywhere, the one that beckoned him in his dreams and went silent in his nightmares. Behind you, Jisung and Seungmin were brazenly building a stacked tower of cookies which Minho knew would fall and create a mess unless prevented, but he chose to ignore it.
"Hey," replied Minho, turning around  to drink in your entire figure.
"I'm happy I've detached from romance, Minho," you informed him as your arm brushed his, "I don't think dating's for me and..."
Your voice trailed off and you turned to look at him, look into his eyes with an oddly melancholic smile that was contradictory to your earlier statement of happiness.
"I think I'm finally healing."
And under the Christmas lights with you in your Santa hat with the tip of your nose tinted pink from the cold, Minho had never loved and lost more.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
year three.
Christmas this year was filled to the brim with nagging from your end about why Minho refused to find a girlfriend despite your self-proclaimed temporary vow of celibacy. It was also the year that Minho realized the importance of the time he had with you.
"Come on Min," you groaned at Minho as he pulled up his sleeves and start kneading the cookie dough, "You'll love Sullyoon."
No, he wanted to say, I love you.
Instead, he responded with, "If I'm off with a girl, who'll make sure Jisung, Kyujin and Hyunjin don't end up burning down the apartment?"
You just laughed and made your way from behind the counter to the dining table, where Minho was busy at work. After he was done, you took the dough, neatly rolled and cut the cookies into shape and propped them in the oven. Minho was busy setting up a Christmas movie in the living room and you sat next to him, closing your eyes and resting your head on his shoulder.
Minho would have tensed, if it weren't for how habitual he had become to these touches form you he was the recipient of after practically moving in with you.
Kyujin moved out of the apartment after she got a part time job at a dance institute about a half hour away from where you both lived. She needed the easy commute, and rent was not that difficult to pay for you due to your comfortable internship since sophomore year of college at a reputed tech company.
Minho, the only other person who was in the internship program with you, basically lived at your apartment. He had his own bed, clothes and even toothbrush at your apartment. He stayed nearly five nights in a row, going back to his actual apartment over the weekends to make sure that Jisung was alive and feeding himself more than just chicken breast.
This new development caused Minho to think that maybe, just maybe you harbored feelings for him the way he did for you. The two of you basically functioned like a live-in couple, so much so that your neighbors would mistake Minho for your boyfriend more often than not.
That's why Minho couldn't understand why you were so insistent about him meeting Sullyoon.
The party started soon after. Seungmin begrudgingly wore a Santa hat on his head and Jeongin clicked a picture of him at every possible occasion. Hyunjin and Chan introduced their girlfriends and everybody positively loved Karina and Lisa. Jisung gushed to everyone about the current guy he liked, Yeonjun, and Changbin informed his friends that on New Years, he planned to propose.
In the midst of it all sat Minho and you, arms looped around each other, both feeling love of different magnitudes.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
You were dragging Minho to meet Sullyoon, evidently sitting in your room, despite his protests. You were wearing a long, billowy dress with a checkered pattern of red and white boxes that Minho teased made you look like a picnic blanket. But the truth was he loved it, he loved you and he did not love being taken to meet another woman by the one he was in love with.
"Have fun!" you grinned and shut the door behind yourself, waltzing away with immense satisfaction.
Minho let out a defeated sigh and turned around to see the fabled Seol Yoon-A, affectionately called Sullyoon. He could tell why you were gushing over her. She wore a red dress with a small bow, had pretty doe eyes and was beautiful no doubt.
But nothing in Minho's head could compare to you.
"So," Sullyoon laughed sweetly, "She threatened you to be here too, huh?"
"Yep," responded Minho curtly and in defeat.
Sullyoon got up and made his way to him, arms snaking around his shoulder and for a terrifying moment, he didn't want her to stop. Not because he enjoyed it, but maybe because this would help him get over you, you who would never love him the way he loved you.
But then the scent of Sullyoon's vanilla perfume hit Minho and it was nothing like your fragrant lilac mist. It was nothing like you.
Minho gently moved Sullyoon's arms from they were and took a step back. Sullyoon raised an eyebrow and studied him. She then snorted and sat down on the bed again.
"Ah. So you are in love with her," she said matter-of-factly.
"I-what-," Minho stuttered, unable to figure out what to say to such a statement.
Sullyoon sighed and patted the space beside her. "It's obvious you know. All men are stupid." And under her breath she added, "Thank god I also like girls. Much more mature."
Minho sat down, Sullyoon gave him a knowing look, and he told her everything. He told her about how he met you, how he realized he loved you and how he thought you might like him too. He told her about your favorite color, the way you always wore two extra rubber bands because one always seemed to break.
When he was done with it all, Sullyoon gave him a comforting pat and said, "You are in some deep shit, Minho."
"How would you know?" he scoffed.
Sullyoon shit eating grin turned sad, "Because I went through the same thing you did."
This time it was Minho's turn to survey Sullyoon, to try and understand what she went through that made her so intimately understand his situation.
"I was hopelessly in love with my best friend, but I didn't tell him for two years. When I finally did, I found out that even though he didn't completely feel the same, he was willing to give it a try. Loving him was the best year of my life. And he fell in love with me too. We were attached at the hip and I will never forgive myself for what happened."
Minho had a bad feeling that this story did not end happily. He swallowed a lump in his throat and asked, "What happened?"
Sullyoon had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "I held Felix as he died."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
year four.
[5:23 PM]
sullyoonie-tunes: so. today's the day, huh.
[5:24 PM]
You (Minho): today's the day.
[5:27 PM]
sullyoonie-tunes: MY BROTHER IS NO LONGER BITCHLESS
sullyoonie-tunes: not insinutating that y/n is a bitch of course
sullyoonie-tunes: YOU'RE the bitch
sullyoonie-tunes: she's an angel
sullyoonie-tunes: pls dont kill me
[5:30 PM]
You (Minho): are you done???
"Hey, who are you texting?" you asked Minho, settling down next to him on his bed.
"Ah, Sullyoon," he responded.
You smiled at him, pulling his blanket over the two of you and weaving your fingers through his hair. "When did you two become so close?"
Minho snorted, "When I got her a girlfriend." And now she's getting me one, he left unsaid.
"Oh, I adore Haewon," you smiled, setting your head on Minho's shoulder.
Minho decided that if he was ever going to confess his feelings to you, it would be during Chrismas. You loved Christmas, he loved you, and what would be more perfect than that?
Over the course of the last year, you and Minho were offered permanent jobs at the company you were interning at. Minho had officially moved in with you, and had learned to live with the fact that he could only love you from a distance, completely unaware of the turmoil you felt about your feelings towards him.
Minho had also developed a strong friendship with Sullyoon, who he truly saw as a younger sister. He helped her meet Haewon, and she helped him dissect every move you made to glean information that would support Minho's hypothesis of you maybe liking him back.
Minho had expected his love for you to pass, to ebb and flow away with the changing seasons.
Instead, it blossomed into something he would forever live with. Minho was madly in love. To him, you weren't just a love.
To him, you hung to moon, stitched the stars onto the sky and gave the cosmos every diaphanous colour it glowed with.
The doorbell rang five times in rapid succession and Minho leapt off his bed. "He's mine," he laughed, watching you struggle to get out of the cocoon you had made for yourself in his blanket.
"Well he clearly loves me more," you retorted, catching up to Minho at the door who, ever the gentleman, opened for you.
Chaeyeon smiled at you and behind her was a beaming Changbin. In his hands he held two things. A large bag in one hand and a carrier in the other. You and Minho urgently ushered the two inside and Chaeyeon placed a gift on the kitchen counter.
"Meet Seo Sun-woo," said Changbin proudly, and you and Minho gushed over Changbin and Chaeyeon's two month old son.
Ever since Chaeyeon had announced she was pregnant after her and Changbin's wedding, a sense of reality dawned upon your entire friend group. You had to grow up, become mature and fend for yourself in this world. Gone were the days when you and Minho would party hop playing beer pong. Now, you both stayed up talking about your future and you hopes, dreams and aspiraitons.
You dreamt of making a name for yourself in the tech world, starting a company that would teach disabled kids coding and give them opportunities to work for gigantic tech companies. Minho dreamt of you and with that came the silent promise of adopting your dreams as his own.
"I want kids some day," you said as you held baby Seo in your lap. This year's party was quieter, much more secluded and only had your direct close circle of friends, "with Chris and Lisa expecting twins and even Hyunjin adopting a dog for Karina, it feels like everyone is growing their family."
Minho pouted. "Am I not growing your family?"
You laughed, "Minho, you've always been home."
Minho gave you quite possibly the widest smile until he heard a tin can fall to the ground and a set of four groans erupt from your bedroom. "Look, we're practically raising Jisung, Felix, Seungmin and Jeongin."
You sighed in affectionate annoyance. "In between them and SonnieDoongieDori, I think that's enough family expansion for now."
Another crash came from your room and you both shared a knowing look. You either got the situation under control, or something broke.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
"I feel dead," you moaned, falling onto the sofa after cleaning up well into the night. The party had ended with Lisa unceremoniously vomiting on the floor and everyone ushering her out and enquiring about her state of well-being.
"Let's go, I have one last present for you," Minho coaxed you out of your shell in the sofa, his own heart pounding incessantly.
"Just give it tomo-"
"I'll dump the litter box in your-"
"Fine," you groaned, "Ten minutes and then we start our Home Alone movie marathon."
Minho nodded, to anxious to argue, "Deal."
Both of you stepped out onto the balcony where the cold nipped at you. There were still couples strolling outside and children hurling snowballs at each other. Christmas lights covered virtually every apartment in sight, red and green lights glowing in tandem.
"What is it?" you asked, looking around him for maybe a box or a letter. Minho stood frozen in the anxiety of every way you could say no to him, until you nudged him back to reality.
Minho coughed. "It's not so much a thing and more of something I have to say."
"Oh."
Minho looked at the way your hair curled at the bottom, grazing the hem of your sweatpants. He looked at your jackets' cuffs, stained with chocolate when you both were lathering Nutella over a layer of cook. He looked at your face, full of beauty and kindness.
But mostly he looked at you, strong, gracious, and lover of Christmas.
Minho thought that confessing his love for you would be the hardest thing he's ever done. Instead, it came as naturally to him as snow falling on the streets of Seoul in winter.
"I love you," the confession fell from his lips. "I have loved you for four years and I will spend the rest of my life loving you if you'll let me. You understand me on a level that nobody else ever has. I love you Y/N, and I have never known anything else the way I have known that."
A song started in him that time, a scratchy beat of hopeful terror that started from his toes and came up to his heart.
"Plus, the cats won't accept anyone apart from you as their mother, and that includes Lix," he added for good measure.
You stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, and Minho felt his initial confidence wearing off. That was until you launched yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Minho wrapped his arms around you, a sigh of relief escaping form his mouth.
"You don't know how long I've loved you for," you mumbled into his sweater.
And everything came to a beautiful crescendo when the nights Minho spent tossing and turning, the four years of assumed unrequited agony did not go in van because you loved him.
You loved him.
That night, Minho held you tightly in his arms underneath the blanket and was at a complete disregard of Kevin's plight in New York. He pressed kisses to every exposed surface he could find, your giggles louder than the shenanigans the character was playing on TV.
"This festival is my whole world," you told him with love brimming in his eyes.
Minho then finally told you three words that he believed summed up everything he felt towards you for the entire time he's ever known you.
"And you're mine."
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please reblog and comment if you liked this fic! it means everything to me and I love reading your thoughts <3
: ̗̀➛ current permanent taglist:
: ̗̀➛ current permanent taglist:
@linoalwaysknows @moon0fthenight @hyulino @palindrome969
@squishybinnieee @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @stayinlimbo @farfromsugafanfic
@hongshuaknow @cookiesandcreammy @kayleefriedchicken @toomanybiasz
@seooj444 @soaplickerrr @nappynapnaps @lina-linny @yrqrnc
@calypsohan @minluvly
also tagging @stayblrofficial for their christmas writing event!
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