#im using from the fog
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where 😔 is he i Just want to see h im
#please. oh my god#is it the version? im playing on 1.21 but my brother said that qouldnt be an issue#minecraft#minecraft modding#from the fog#life stuff#im using from the fog
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When driving in the winter, Billy will get upset about the windows fogging up so he'll blame it on Stu's breathing and force him to get out of the car, buy candy from the nearest store, and then come back to the car so they can drive back with Billy still complaining about the fogged up windows, but now with snacks
#literally i used to get so anxious because my father used to blame the windows fogging up on me and i would literally feel so bad#all my anxiety comes from driving with fogged windows (im joking)#stuilly#stu x billy#billy x stu#scream 1996#scream movie#scream#stu macher#billy loomis
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Messy little sketch while I try to figure Arthur and John out 🤙
ID in ALT text <3333
#I’m gonna ignore all the mistakes in this for now#I was gonna make this a whole finished piece#but nah#their sillies either way#AND IM HAPPY WITH ARTHUR FOR ONCE#also ignore how different John looks from the og concept design#the IbisPaint pen I used was like super thin so the fog didn’t turn out how I anticipated it would#malevolent john#malevolent podcast#arthur malevolent#private eyes#malevolent private eyes#jarthur#malevolent jarthur#malevolent doodles
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if mr fog (who i am assuming is oliver’s father) doesn’t visiblg look like a middle aged man you will see me on the news
#reverse 1999#mr fog#honestly aside from that im banking on toof and him interactions invovling him being an accomplice to vehicular manslaughter#whther unwilling or otherwise. local victorian man holding onto his seatbelt for dear life as toof makes donuts with her subaru#certified storm moments#let us make visible mr fog obvious dilf prayer circle. amen
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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Just had me first encounter with hackers on sea of thieves I’m fuming
#it was so unsettling seeing this galleon emerge from the fog straight towards us#and later I realized it was because they were going SUPER fast even with the wind against them#they fucking took down our mast without even hitting/burning it which is literally impossible without hacks#so I jumped off the ship with the chest of legends and swam away until sharks killed me#cuz if IM not getting it then they fucking aren’t#and they didn’t <3#we respawned and hunted them down to write down their usernames AND WE DID#too bad it’s impossible to navigate Xbox#anyway. that sucked so bad#and when we were chilling on the ferry my friend was talking to them#and this one guy was like ''that’s just how you play. we make money you make money''#BRO YOU TOOK OUR DAMN MONEY#I’ll get over it. eventually#but that shit was actually enraging holy shit
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the food scarcity is in fact going to my brain
#genuinely fucking nothing#the stuff we do have makes me sick on account of chronic illness#ive been living off fucking coffee and frozen pizza and rice#im so constantly fucking brain fogged and my dad keeps taking money from us or cancelling the orders we do make#and like my mom and i still have no way of receiving money so i cant ask anyone for help if i wanted to !!!! lol#theres like this knot of dread in my chest that i dont think will go away until we get the court hearing over with#i am doing. the best that i can . on fucking fumes#sometimes the man of the house is a lesbian eldest daughter etc etc#my younger brothers barely have jackshit to eat let alone Me i cant fucking keep up with this shit#we're running out of toiletries and i cant get my father to buy more this week#gwext#whiskey is feeling better since he sprained her leg. shes off her meds so thats good#head in hands Anyway. back to it
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Well it's likely I have covid but the good news is being unable to do anything will really help me finally catch up on my they might be giants podcast
#im really 😭 though because im on call at work this week (from home) but its gonna make it miserable#like taking calls from customers while i have brain fog sounds so awful#my partner is really sick but i seem to be okay so far but i do habe mild symptoms but im testing negative but im sure 90% i have a mild#case esp since he tested positive and we went to this concert together#i feel so dumb for going to the concert like its a risk of course but#auvhhh sigh#i barely leave my house so i just feel dumb for going to one big thing and immediately getting sick but#i cant really complain its not a big deal#really though hopefully i can use the week at home to get a lot of music done but ill probably end up laying innbed listen to podcast and#bootlegs and playing minecraft. but thats ok
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The problem with the long covid theory is so many of the symptoms that jump out at me are things I've had for years anyway its just the breathing and throat stuff that's new 🙃🙃🙃
#i know my mom got super sick like hospitalized and now she has to use an inhaler#and this was when i lived with them. and aside from 2 days i did feel kind of gross i dont think i ever got covid#knock knock knock on wood of course#ive been super careful all these years i wear a mask all the time when im in stores and at work#but i could have been asymptomatic all this time?#like anxiety depression brain fog tinnitus eye floaters thats just another walk in the park for me#fatigue im pretty sure all started pre covid because im on my feet so often
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Herorbine appeared outside my window, we held eye contact for a moment, and then he vanished leaving a sign that said "Hello, Altias" and I was just like "oh hi!"
Are we friends? He also gifted me a ton of redstone torches, I love redstone torches.
#he was a bit of a freeloader in the diamond mines but nobody is perfect#watching me dig and not helping#minecraft#herobrine#from the fog#<- thats the herobrine datapack im using if anyone wants it
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can we see your tav :D
im so bad at taking screenshots... i had more but i somehow managed to capture the exact moments they blink
they are a seldarine drow, oath of vengence paladin. i wanted a tank lol so they've got strength and charisma and pay for it by being dumb
#laila plays bg3#i knew i wanted to play drow but i was kinda on the fence between paladin and barbarian but i thought paladin would be more balanced for me#also im using the idun head from baldurian beauty#its kinda hard to see but theyve got a light tatoo on their face. forgot the name but its something like fog?
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the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage
#i have never had a computer this nice lmao#i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything#either by physical skill or money or age or location#so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!!#and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass#the dopamine rush. lmao#i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭#genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair#just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF*#seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK#bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright#and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing#i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!#can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY#FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM#INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT#like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers#i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit#i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them#i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!!#anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun
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getting discharged today hopefully. only stayed the extra night because my mom wants me to but more specifically i need to talk to the PA when he comes in at 6 am and beg him to prescribe me better pain meds for home bc atm the ones theyre wanting me to take with me are even WEAKER than what was being given for pre op, aka the the exact useless pain med that is too too too fucking weak and useless for my post op pain literally at all. like zero difference.
#if i magage to get that worked out im absolutely fucking telling them to discharge me as soon as possible#they was literally the most miserable thing ive had ro di in my life#and i just want to go home with strong enough pain shit#that i want have to be sobbing so bad from the pain which only ends up aggravating the full front of my neck#wont*#too msny typos#still can use my finger good yet and my over months long brain fog is still in me#and even since the surgery i cant sleep even 30 minutes at time from the pain even with the valium and ambien they give mw#like at this point just give me a actual pain med that willl work instead of just givin me shit to make me pass out#sorry if this is mostly incomprehensible esp in the tags. ive been running off absolutely no sleep rn jist pain
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Bro I forget how bad my eyesight is until I attempt to do a task without my glasses that I normally have glasses for
#jasper rambles#i specify a task i do w glasses bc for ex im used to showering without my glasses and just being unable to see#but like earlier at work my glasses were all fogged up from being in the freezer and i tried to date the food wigout glasses and it was so#hard. we use those lil tony rectangle stickers in sticker guns and the sticker gun part was easy but once i placed a sticker on an object it#was so small i usually couldnt see it on the food anymore. so id have to check what id already stickered and lean way on#it hurt my head
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so crazy seeing my cousins post aesthetic pics of my village street. maam thats a rundown house with the roof caved in next to the ugliest house in the village
#and the street pavement is green bc no one cleans it so its full of like algae or whatever the fuck#bc of the winter humidity (and fog). like thats ugly as hell😭#thr comparison between my cousins and i is crazy in regards to how we approach the village#all my other cousins post or have posted aesthetic pics of random streets or like. roads#bc i think to them its just another village. like yeah their grandma/grandpa is from there#but i think that just spending the holidays here (instead of like. staying 3+ months in the summer and normal weekends)#has made them treat the village as just another place. idk what even im trying to say but#it just feels kinda disgenuine when they aesthetize (?) the village like that#like for example my friend who has LIVED in the village her entire life doesnt post stuff like that#she posts stuff from her house or something. but not of like random streets yknow. and if she posts something from the street#its bc something else is the focus. and shes not just using it as a pretty backdrop or whatever#ok that last tag is what i was trying to get at i just didnt know how to word it#and yeah i think the more time youve lived or spent in the village the less you make it into a pretty backdrop#ive even seen my (other) cousins mom do this. and yeah shes older but also the house they have is just a vacation house#in comparison to for example my family. where our house has always been lived in (so far) so i think it just felt...#(it=going to the village) less like a 'getaway' and more as just like. changing living locations for x time yknow#idk idk. maybe its just my weird perception of my village and the weird attatchment i have to it#but yeah#z xarre
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5 drinks to get to know me: (tagged by @goblinsbriide <3333333 luv u)
any kind of black coffee [iced/hot]: (whether that be an americano, french press, cold brew, brewed/drip coffee, straight up espresso, etcetcetc)
plain teas: ([fresh/looseleaf or teabag] ginger, green/gunpowder/genmaicha/boricha, rooibos, chamomile, lavender, oolong, herbal, etcetcetc)
water mmm mmm mmm
sweetened chai w/ milk [or alternative milks] : (ex. iced chai, masala chai [other ppls or my own that i grind from scratch every time hehehe], my kashmiri naanis kashmiri chai <333 [esp. if im drinking it while in kashmir !!])
[refer to the tags for the "5th" answer] sry not sry i am an indecisive bitch
#mehrtalks#im probably missing a bunchhhh of things but here u go#also i stopped drinking juice and soda/carbonated beverages over a year ago so if u had asked me this then ->#i wouldve prob included mango/pineapple/orange/apple juice <333 and 7up <333 and virgin pina coladas <333#and coconut water and probably smthg like those mint drinks etcetcetcetcetcetc#also white mochas/hot chocolates and caramel apple spice !! and psl type drinks (from starbucks) were my luvs but i dont drink them anymore#oh and i would gaslight myself into liking iced caramel macchiatos (or just sweetened milky coffee in general) and tea lattes omg (but ->#london fogs still kinda hit ok)#also im not rly a matcha person so do with that what u will#oh and mango dragonfruits w/ water i was obsessed w for a hot minute omfggggg i would get trentas every day when it first released whoops#and pink drinks kinda BUT SPECIFICALLY FROM THE USA#OMG AND THOSE GUAVA DRINKS STARBUCKS USED TO HAVE WERE MY SHITTTTTT BUT I USED TO ADD MANGO PIECES AND SOMETIMES MANGO DRAGON BASE I THINKK#i always rant oops anyways bye
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