#im upstairs in my room
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My cat is like. Id you dont let me do laundry im going to die
#she loves doing laundry#im upstairs in my room#and i can hear her screaming#to get into the laundry room#nobody knows why#🍒🌹 rambles#custard#custard cat
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kitty kitty kitty
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#listen ok hear me out ok there is a wonderful duo i know online#who have a lovely orange cat named ferdinand and i love him and this is ONLY a problem#because i now have a funky lil orange kitten boy myself and his name is Caramel Latte and i keep#almost calling him the wrong name and im so embarrassed w myself#but after spending a year looking at someone elses cat via photo spams when i can its like#aha thats the name of a Cat#anyway i love my lil fella my lil guy#and we adopted him and his mama and they were basically living upstairs in the guest room to be Safe and Sound#bc i am the only resident upstairs and so its quieter#and so for a week the mom would come to my room and just MEOW at 4am#and id be like ope my turn#and then i would leave my room and go to the guest room and play with Caramel Latte and his 4am zoomies#im designated other parent and its truly an honor ok#my dad would be like oh no cant find the lil guy and im like ohyeah ? bet? and he would RUN ON OUT and sit on my foot#Latte loves me a lot...te.....#and i showed a lil video of him to someone on discord and her response was#his ears are too big for his lil head#and its true he has huge ears and i wuv him and he will grow into them eventually its fine he is hardly just over a month old#anyway kittens my beloved
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Good afternoon everypony!! Last night my partner and I got a little silly and rewatched the episode of PPG where Utonium and Ms. Keane start dating and ugghh....why he so FUCKING cute 😭😭💖💖
And tbhhh the reason they sorta didn't work out is cause they weren't able to balance the lives they had with their infatuation with each other (tbh if the cat argument hadn't happened when it did any ol thing would have caused them to break up methinks) and y'know...I think that's why he'd work so well with my s/i 🥺👉👈
Theyre allowed to still be their own people and have their own things even if they do become a couple! Even if they get married! They're still individuals who support their own passions as well as each other's. And they certainly don't need/want to change themselves for each other 💖💖💖
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#WAAAHH DONT MIND ME 🥺🥺👉👈#im remembering my thoughts from last night ajfjgk we shortly thereafter went upstairs watched silly video and passed out#and another thing is my partner mentioned that thats kinda why we work so well irl...🥺💗💖💗💖💗💖#we take being separated very well (its kinda necessary for their job)#so when we DO return its like the first time all over again. we also do a lot of paralell play!!#like. its enough to be in the same room#and thats what i think would be w my s/i and utonium >//<#also THE EP AFTER THAT UGH BLOSSOM MY POOR SWEET GIFTED CHILD 😭😭😭#i love her sm shes so me when i was younger if im being truly honest#bubbles is my favorite but blossom...i relate to ajfjf
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Hypothetically, if ur sister were to invite ur cousin over for a sleepover in your bedroom without even asking you first if we could then when it's like 2am they're loud as fuck and won't shut up and when you try to ask them to be quiet they get angry at u so then u sleep downstairs on thr couch, MIND YOU THEY ARE IN YOUR BEDROOM STILL MESSING ABOUT. YOUR BEDROOM. So you go downstairs and sleep there. The next day they don't apologise or see anything wrong SO THEY DO IT AGAIN. They ask if ur cousin can sleep over again IN YOUR BEDROOM. WITHOUT ASKING. And now you're currently downstairs on the couch while your sister and cousin are in your room
#currently sat on the couch🫶🫶#i genuinely hate it here#i wanna sleep in my bedroom for one like come on mate#i want to rip my own foot off and beat them with it#also im being so fucking serious rn like i am actually in my living room rn on my couch and they're upstairs in my room#THEY DONT SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH WHAY THEY'RE DOING EITHER#THRY THINK THEYRE IN THE RIGHT#i cannot do this anymore guys i hate this#i just wanna sleep in my bedroom in my bed alone#kadens yap session#more like angry rant but who cares BC THESE BITCHES OBVIOUSLY DONT
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hello helloo! i just read through your modern au and I'm in love (shocker), i wanted to ask if you'd give some more info on poppy? apologies if there's already a dedicated post to her, looking is not my specialty
there is not! i will gladly ramble!
~
in this au, Poppy is slightly less fearful than canon. this is for several reasons! 1) years of therapy. 2) anxiety meds. 3) teenage years of her friends dragging her out for Shenanigans & hyping her tf up! but she's still a worrywart! she's very cautious! she can and Will see the bad/dengerous side to every situation. but! now she has the tools to not only cope with but combat her intrusive thoughts & fears <3
i think i mentioned it before but she Did Not Realize she was trans until highschool! specifically, when she met Sally! Poppy had to stop by the theater department after school for some reason or another, and Sally noticed her looking longingly at the costume dresses (Poppy thought she was alone lol)
and while Poppy was mortified at being caught, Sally was delighted. they only knew each other in passing and from reputation but Sally started holding up dresses to Poppy and complimenting how well they suited her. (i could joke about how Sally could sniff out the lesbian in her before Poppy even knew she was a girl!) Poppy, flustered by the sudden attention and apparent acceptance, didn't know how to handle it and fled. then started avoiding Sally in the halls. but! eventually she had to go back for Insert Reason Here, and ofc Sally was there. this time around Sally is a little gentler and less assertive, but manages to coax Poppy into checking out the more ~feminine~ costumes again. thus begins their little meetings where Poppy tries on costumes and Sally is her biggest hypeman
it takes a while for things to Click in Poppy's mind! it isn't until she tries on a dress that Sally custom-made for her, wearing some makeup and a wig, that Poppy has her oh moment. unfortunately, some of their ~mutual friends~ (Wally, Barnaby, Howdy) walk in on them. there's a short, terrifying moment where Wally is all "who's your friend, Sally?" and Barnaby has to lean over to let him know "that's Poppy, bud". before Poppy can fully freak out, Wally immediately goes OH! and starts complimenting how pretty she looks. Barnaby chimes in next to ask if the dress is home-made bc it fits Poppy beautifully, Howdy nabs a necklace from the nearby gathered accessories and put it on her to "tie the outfit together". in short! Poppy finds nothing but support from her buddies & they're more than happy to help her figure out this new internal crisis / revelation
then of course eventually she's found out by her family, which goes very well (im using sarcasm! it goes terribly!). Poppy isn't outright disowned or kicked out or in immediate danger, but her relationship with her family is ruined by their transphobic bigotry. her friends have her back throughout this, and the guest room at the Beagle farm is always open to her! Sally continues to make custom clothes for Poppy (something that becomes a love language for the two of them <3).
honestly, this period in Poppy's life is part of what like... idk... strengthens her, in a way? her continuing to be herself and actively rebelling against her family, i mean. Poppy becomes a pretty stellar liar lol (lying to her parents about where she's going, who she's hanging out with, what she does after school, etc). she's very cautious about all of it, but she does it! she's determined to pursue and discover and Realize the woman inside her! i have this sweet scene in my mind of the Group at the Beagle farm chilling on the floor with notebooks, brainstorming on possible names. (Sally enthusiastically says a variation of 'exquisite' to each one, and then when Poppy says 'im not sure about that one' Sally - still enthusiastically - says a variation of 'horrible terrible how could you suggest such an ill-fitting name'). despite everyone's efforts, i like to think that Poppy finds her name entirely on accident! maybe during the Gap Year Road Trip! maybe they stop by a SoCal poppy reserve in superbloom and the flowers Resonate with her! who's to say!
but Poppy begins her (medical) transition in college! she, of course, gets shit for it, but she also begins to find community and enjoyment in the local queer community. and of course, she has her buddies <3
but anyway! i like to think that Poppy participates in local farmer's markets with her crochet work & baked goods, the latter of which is a complete hit! that, plus her first experience with going to a tearoom inspires her to strive towards owning her own! tearooms are right up her alley, i'd say - calm, quiet, and Poppy can make peoples' days a little brighter with a tranquil atmosphere & delicious treats! i swear i have a reason between 'Poppy british = she goes into tea business'. honestly! tearooms are more about the tiny sammies & tasty cones w/ cream! and feeling Fancy while chatting!
i think it takes a while for her to actually be able to start up a tearoom. I'd imagine she starts by holding a small, single-table reservation-based one in her own place once the Group decides on what town to move to. it's successful, slowly (but steadily) grows, until she can get an actual House and transform the ground floor into a full tearoom. lil shop by the checkout counter, several different rooms, a sizeable kitchen. staff! the tearoom is a humble one, but it's a killer holiday & tourist destination! the high ratings even bring in people from out of town!
and when it comes to Poppy & Sally, bc yall know i'm a sucker for Popstar - i like to think that they start dating after (mostly) all of them move into their new town. & after they both have been in prior relationships! and then they never stop dating. well, they do, but that's so that they can upgrade to Wife Status. and then they never stop being wives so there <3
but Poppy is successful and happy! she had a rough go of it but she Makes It! and she continues to make it!
#i hope this Suffices!#ofc the ~lore~ in my mind is a lil more complex#but its Too Much to fully write out yk yk#giving her a tearoom was uhhhhh a bit of Personal Indulgence i will admit!#i used to have a tradition with my mother/grandma/sister where we'd all go to a tearoom once a year#but then grammie bit the dust (or rather - got turned into it) and that tradition uh. kinda stopped#i have very fond memories! i'd like to go to one again someday! perhaps with friends!#so when i was thinking 'what modern day profession would suit poppy' i do think owning a high english tearoom would fit#theres also just a level of personal influence to that ahaha#also if i went to a nice tearoom and the owner was a gorgeous 6'8 woman. ough. thats all im gonna say about it. ough <3#rambles from the bog#wh modern human au#sally likes to waltz into the tearoom while poppy is working to buy One (one) little box of tea and also flirt over the counter for an hour#and there's an upstairs room reserved for Poppy & her friends!!#it's free for them to use at any time!#though they still always pay. they have a lil game with poppy where she tries her best to refuse#but they manage to sneak the payment past her anyway#or they so happen to 'leave a tip that just so happens to be the exact payment' on their chair#on top of the tearoom she also supplies some baked goods for Howdy's shop#it was something they started when she was first getting her lil business off the ground#it evolves into just 'poppy bakes a batch of muffins as her morning ritual and sends them to howdys'#she supplies more when she can! or when she stress bakes! or when she and frank stress bake together! the entire group gets fresh tasties!
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anyone ever just get that silent bloody rage? Like on the outside you are completely calm and collected, but in your mind you are screaming and crying and wanting to punch something until they bleed?
like when everything around you is just too fucking loud so you start getting aggressive both verbally and physically? Like when you are getting yelled at for something that was so obviously not done by you-?
#akira’s safe space#tiny vents#explanation:#so me and my sisters were upstairs watching a movie#and I honestly dont remember how it started#But my youngest sister started to act like an entitled brat again#so naturally I got yelled at and blamed when she started to yell at me for something#My sisters were yelling#My mom was yelling#My dog was barking#I put my hands over my ears and started to yell at them and smack my sister because I couldn't crontrol myself#I immediately stopped and froze#I got screamed at for doing that#Then my middle sister pulled me down onto her to try and calm me down#But my sensory issues were being overloaded#My youngest sister grabbed my dogs rope toy and started whipping both me and my younger sister#She had also kicked my in the knee causing it to go backwards#Then my mom yelled again after I said “she's literally whipping -middle sister-!”#My youngest sister then screamed back “You did it! That wasn't me!”#SHE LITERALLY HAD THE ROPE IN HER HAND AND I HAD A MARK ON MY LEG#now im downstairs back in my room overstimulated and on the verge of a panic attack and rage#i cant do this
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trying to act normal over the fact that we're moving house next week. and failing
#god i just need to fall apart NOW#im barely hanging on fr#we dismantled the sofa today and are now sitting on our old chairs in the living room#and i almost died actually#thinking about how i had no idea that last night would be THE last night i ever ate my dinner on that sofa in this house#or about how last night was the last night I would ever sit with my boyfriend on that sofa in this house#or or or or or#there are so many things that are about to be the last time i ever do them in this house#and i hate that i cant properly know when they will be#what if i never walk my dogs in this park again#what if i never wash my hair upstairs ever again#what if i never cook another meal in this kitchen#WHY CAN WE NOT KNOW WHEN WE ARE DOING THINGS FOR THE FINAL TIME#i hate this#it's literally never going to be over and i mean that#after we move#we have to clean and organise and unpack/buy things for my dads house#which will take months especially to buy furniture and decorate bec he wont have enough money for extra things#and then my mum will be moving into her new house#probably December but honestly could be after Christmas. who knows#and then the same again#at least her house is newer and has been lived in#dads hasnt been lived in for years and is dirty and unused#FUCK#i need a break#and i just know i wont be able to visit my boyfriends house for WEEKS#i just want to get through this move but god. it will never be over#em talks#tag talk
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i thnk Things are Happening to my brain & i Dont Like It
#the outage is Affecting me in Ways#Not having sufficient alone time is starting to Upset me#i either sleep in a bed in silence + pitch darkness with however warm it is upstairs Or#sleep on a couch in the air conditioning but i have to argue with my dad abt what plays while im trying to sleep#usually he sleeps thru anything but then when i wanna sleep he complains abt the videos i wanna sleep to even when i cater to him#not t mention sleeping on a loveseat while my mom takes up the couch despite having a whole bed in The Next Room SUCKS#im!! thrown off my rhythm!!!!! im not feelin right!!!!!!!!!!#torch chatter#vent#<- sorta. basically
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welp . due to "unforeseen" circumstances, imma have to leave my toxic ass household :D
#like lolllll who is surprised#i just didn't think i'd potentially have lesser of a relationship w my sibling bc of it#but it is what it is#idk what it is about male-centered women standing behind their man when they're manipulative violent assholes#but again - how can i really blame a victim like i get it ig ur in a hostage situation yourself babe#anyways. idk where my dad got this bat from but i got it in my room just in case someone wants to put their hands on me again#mind you - my situation is literally so easily solvable but bc these ppl are stubborn ...#like. the entitlement is crazy idk#like u want me to be down in the basement with YOUR kids that u neglect and don't even watch#and get mad when i set ground rules for them to follow? which is cleaning up after themselves???? oh brother#like you would think you'd wanna be down here to monitor ur kids but nooooo#they literally want the room upstairs and it was *decided* before we moved in (i didnt even have a chance jdksks)#and they want it bc they want to be far away from their own kids as possible.... like yalls actions are shitty.#imagine if i did ts to them where I have kids - I have them near you - and I DO NOTHING to parent them . thats a frustrating situation for#anybody i feel like ??#and before we moved - i DID have the upstairs like woopty doo ig nicer ofc and they were STEADYYYY trying to get me out of that room#(mind you - i have lived there since i was 12/13 and they came wayyy after)#like ... r u kidding me lolololol u want authority so bad over a basement ur not even in anymore#like mind u im not trying to overstep and be their parent ? ik im not . im just their auntie#its just so wilddddd to me they dont see how silly this is?#like maybe im wrong ? but having ur kids stay downstairs when ur upstairs was already off to me. like bffr u want them kids out your face#and u tryna pass them off to me and it's not subtle. but then get mad when i say smth abt behavior OH BROTHERRRRR#but anyways. the straw that broke the camels back was the fact this ngga spit on me. AND then put his hands on me. like omg???#i wanna break his shit so bad w this bat but chile....that is not productive and that is not me#but the rage i have omgggg. i wanna cus its like?? fuck you. ur literally an ABUSERRR idgaf about ur feelings btch.#chatter
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This is based off a text post going around a while back- but for the stream you should make a lil 2D drawing to represent you, and every time you hit Ctrl+Z it cringes/yells
i got two settings it's cringing and yelling ☠️☠️☠️
#snap chats#very true though anon. you have me down to a science#i prob will forgo using a face cam just so the focus can be on whatever im drawing or whatever's on screen#that sounds funny tho LMAO alas i have never made a persona nor would i know the first thing about doing any of that#ok thats a lie but im not using my old warrior cats oc from 2010 to represent myself when im drawing YAKUZA#i should redraw that lil shit tho.. just for fun.... yeah ill do that for my peepers#anyway i just woke up from an accidental nap. sorry.#woke up to find out my mom was gone for a bit for some skin appointment so i ran upstairs and started eating everything#buddha will slap me for this but thats ok if this is what it means to be happy then yk. let it slide please <:)#SO FUNNY THO I WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER AND WE SUDDENLY HEARD THE GARAGE OPEN#AND I HAVE NEVER SCRAMBLED OUT OF A ROOM SO FAST and then it was just my brother with ice cream ☠️☠️#this ice cream yummy.... if you were wondering... its not mint choco so no one can yell at me it's cookies and cream
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hey am i overreacting or am i right to be angry with my mom for coming into my room (which doubles as her office) seven minutes before my mandatory 9am alarm goes off (on my first day off in three days i might add) and pulling back the curtains on the sliding glass door and turning on the lights because she “needs to work.”
like. is that annoying? yes, i had nearly 10 more minutes that i could’ve slept. nobody likes being woken up before their alarm. is it ultimately harmless/not a big deal? in the end yes 7 mins doesn’t make a noticeable difference on the amount of sleep i get and how it affects my day.
but it’s about the PRINCIPLE of it. she’s already forcing me to get up at a specific designated time every day (and won’t let me nap during the day even when i slept poorly the night before) but now she’s not even respecting that time and forcing me to get up earlier than that? obviously yes she needs to work but her job is literally reselling things on ebay. nothing is so urgent that 7 minutes would make a difference!! especially nothing that can’t be done on her phone just as easily if it TRULY can’t wait.
it feels like she’s disrespecting me and telling me that my time is not important, that she can just walk all over me and my schedule whenever she wants for any reason.
#im not even allowed upstairs into the kitchen after they’ve gone to bed bc i’ll wake them up#(creaky stairs and their bedroom is really more of a third story loft over the living room and kitchen.#so they can hear everything that goes on on the second floor)#but she feels entitled to enter MY space during MY designated sleep hours#it just doesn’t feel right.#am i overreacting bc i really don’t think i am
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anyway i just need to get through saturday (the wedding party w/ ben's fam) without a public meltdown + then things will calm down a bit. this is actually not true bc its my birthday on the 26th and then my sister comes to stay for a few days on the 27th but at least that's quieter than a 40-50 people get together. im so sad about it, i feel feral and crazed by the idea of being looked at again, i feel much worse about it than i did about the actual wedding, i think bc last year i was fresh on the starving high + this year i have not been starving myself at all and feel generally shittier
also obviously bc i was already dreading it my period started tonight so. that's great as well!! love to wear a fucking white dress in those circumstances x i told ben i would wear the dress for like half an hr then im putting on my normal clothes and that's that. and he wasnt bothered by this, i think he is having similar thoughts anyway about the whole thing except i think he is looking forward to it more bc a) he doesnt ahve an eating disorder and b) he likes his family
on the plus side my hip has been muuuch more reliable lately, the last few times ive done the walk to and from town it's been achy by the end of it but not at all going into the spasms of agony it did basically every time i tried to walk anywhere longer than half an hr (and sometimes less if it was a bad day)
also not sure i even mentioned this here but a bunch of intl friends are coming 2 worcester late sept to hang out, first time since the wedding for the americans (and the german) and it is gonna be really nice to see them :) obviously im anxious about it bc of my irritating nature but how amazing that we have a group of people who are literally flying across the world to hang out with us for a week. that is really lovely and worth celebrating. trying to be ok about the fact i havent lost any more weight since the wedding and just being like. normal about seeing my friends who dont care how much i weigh
oh also. one more thing, my mum said to me "do you know who met for the first time at [location of wedding party]?" and i immediately felt that i DID know and was like - not daddy's parents?? and she was like i knew you inherited my Psychic Abilities :) but it was them - which is a bit funny. i hope their rancid vibes have cleared out by now bc they were bad people lol
#btw when i say “he likes his family”#im not meaning that i dont#but that i have literally never met most of these people#its various random uncles etc#also im a bit nervous about my parents visiting when they drop my sister off bc they will bring the dog#who is lovely except he hates cats and tries to kill them on sight#now OBVIOUSLY i will not let him anywhere near tink + will have her shut away in an upstairs room for the brief time he's in the vicinity#but it's just a stressful thought#and also obviously tehy dont have keys so they wont be able to get into the house without tink being safely put away anyway
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I’m mildly drunk SOMEONE ask me abt my aus and or fics i want 2 fuckimg TALK. ABOIT THINGS
#my family is super chill w letting me get away during visits im just chillin in my room rn#i left my drink upstairs tho :((((#whiskey yelling into the void
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Guess which dumbass almost broke his ankle yesterday while playing netball!
ME
IM ON FUCKING CRUTCHES NOW
I CANT MOVE MY FUCKING TOES
I CAN'T MOVE MY FUCKING FOOT
IT HURTS LIKE FUCKING HELL
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I hope y'all are well.
I'm definitely not.
Byeeee
#im a fucking dumbass#I JUMPED TO HIGH#I LANDED ON MY ANKLE WEIRDLY#I HAVE TO BE WHEELED AWAY IN A WHEELCHAIR#IM TOO CLUMSY TO LEAVE MY ROOM I SWEAR TO GOD#Clumsy#what the fuck#ughhhh#I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW AND BASICALLY AL MY CLASSES ARE UPSTAIRS THERE IS NO LIFT
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I hate that I'm getting so fucking overwhelmed and there's nothing I can do
#txt#im in the living room and i cant go upstairs because its too hot but i cant go downstairs bc its my moms room and shes home#and my mom is in the living room with me. and like. idk#i wanna be alone but i cant be
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love this lil corner of my room now with the painted walls:) a bit of a Green moment a Teal moment
#ive been doing a lot of fun lil home projects to keep me Sane#so far making my room look Less Depressing has helped a TON. now im fixing the hallway/stairway area#that big hole in the wall is going to be covered Soon. it accesses the water main so im adding a panel with some hinges#and im reusing an old cabinet knob from upstairs. making a makeshift door for the water main!#bc i know the landlord Wouldnt:')#now im just using extra paint i find in the storage room and slowly fixing up the rest of my General Area#my little Music Corner. where i can play my Tunes#frank.txt#also i didnt know door trim was so fuckig EXPENSIVE like it doesnt have to be pretty but#i would Like to cover the expanding foam around my door for under $50 please#gonna ask around ig
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