#also maybe one day i will have friends to game with and they will come in handy then too :3
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Piercer!Geto
Manx Norton: going over the limit
Contents: 18+ mdni, fluff, smut, grinding, making out, blowjob, deepthroating, throat fucking, swallowing, marks the end of their pre-relationship story
“We need to talk,” you say.
Geto looks up from his journal, slow and steady like he knew you would come here and at this time. He sets his pen down. His hair is tied up completely today and there are dark bags under his eyes that you can’t bear to look at, so you don’t. Instead, you settle into the seat, without being asked, and you cross your legs and your arms.
You mean business.
“Good afternoon, pretty. You look gorgeous.”
Sighing, you ignore that fluttering in your stomach. There’s no point in getting carried away by his charm; it’s his instinct to be sweet, otherwise he wouldn’t have as many clients as he does. But you’re aware, faintly and right at the very back of your mind, that his words have a bite to them — they’re complimentary whilst also accusatory.
“I need an explanation, Geto,” you state firmly.
His left eye twitches. It’s not a flicker or a nervous tick, it’s a flinch. You have the power, just like your sister said, when you were throwing her shoes out of the window, and she was offering advice as a means to fight your murderous intent off. It didn’t work.
There’s always something shifting between you, something unstable, and it’s been difficult to manage — you’re new to relationships, so new to venturing outside your comfort zone that you’ve relied so much on him to guide you. But you’ve also had to step up and make decisions for yourself.
Your friends weren’t very helpful; they insisted you quit or bring a new man to the studio to make him jealous, and as tempting as it is to be petty, you know they wouldn’t solve anything. It’ll just make you feel bad and icky.
So, you’ve chosen the high road, providing him the opportunity to share his side, to explain why he let you down once again and why everything between you had been built on a lie.
Nodding, he opens a drawer and takes out a familiar sheet of paper. Then, in a conversational tone, he asks, “What do you see?”
“It’s my CV,” you answer. Truthfully, you have no clue what game he’s playing; there’s something in particular he’s looking for but all you see is the whites of the paper and the lines of ink.
“Look at it from the perspective of an employer looking to fill a hole in their establishment,” is his reply.
You’ve heard that tone often, every day, in fact. It’s the tone he uses on clients when he needs to go over payment plans, or on suppliers when he needs to negotiate a new contract. But he’s never used it on you. Distant and devoid of attachment, it makes you feel uneasy.
Fiddling with a loose thread on your sweater, you furrow your brows as you read over the paper. Geto is leaning back on the chair, hands folded on his lap, the pinnacle of confidence. That used to be so attractive. Now, you’re just a little peeved off. You were supposed to be the confident one; you came here on your own volition, even prepared a speech you practised with your sister.
You should have known he’d sweep the rug from under you.
Frustrated, you groan and smack the sheet. “Just tell me what I’m supposed to see! I have no time for this.”
Smiling reassuringly, Geto doesn’t bat an eye at your outburst and instead, begins a lecture, “What I saw was a CV lacking in relevant work experience. In fact, you had very little experience. Your most recent job was in high school, when you worked as a librarian’s assistant for a day. The other things on there were debate club and a certificate for being a neighbourhood ‘sweetheart’, and I’m not even sure what that means.”
“Oh.”
To your embarrassment, he laughs. A blush is growing on your face and suddenly you’re very aware of how some strands of hair are sticking to your forehead uncomfortably, how the sweater you’re wearing is a little scratchy and that maybe, just maybe, you’ve overreacted terribly.
Maybe you should have confronted him sooner. Perhaps just as soon as you overheard him tell Miguel that your sister owes him a favour for hiring you. However, in your defence, you were feeling a little hurt from having been left at the restaurant — you waited for an hour, watching people pass by and give you sympathetic looks as you sent text after text to a man too busy with a client to realise time passed by.
A week has gone by since then, and you haven’t come to work at all, you dodged every text and call from Geto and ignored him when he showed up on campus and had the nerve to get upset that you’re hanging out with a classmate. Your sister tried to defend him, and herself, but you weren’t willing to hear her out. On many occasions, you’ve told her to butt out, to leave you to make mistakes and get hurt, because it’s your prerogative.
She can’t protect you from everything and the more she tries, the harder you all learn that lesson.
“Okay, fine. So, my CV sucks a little,” you huff, “but you should have never hired me under the pretence that I was good enough when the real reason was because my sister asked you. It’s unfair on me. I wanted to earn this job on my own and you two went behind my back to manipulate this whole situation!”
The man sighs and leans forward. You smell his cologne and it’s muddling your mind a little, so you lean back, away from him. He notices. “I understand you’re upset. And I’m sorry to have colluded with your meddling sister. But it really isn’t what you think, pretty girl.”
You hate how patient he sounds, like you’re the crazy one. And maybe you are. You don’t know anymore. In fact, you’re starting to think you know nothing at all.
“Yes, it’s true she asked me to give you a job. But all I promised her was that I’ll give you a chance, like everyone else. And when you came for the interview, I thought a lot of things. One was that you are so different from your sister. Different from the people that tend to come through the door, from me. You’re much brighter, much warmer and lighter than everyone I’ve ever seen.”
There’s something in his eyes, a sincerity that makes you breathless. All the air has left the room and you’re leaning in without even realising it. Everything that he says is entrancing, he’s a pied piper playing a tune that fills your soul with a fire you can’t put out, and he’s leading you closer to him, away from everything you’ve ever known, away from safety and reason.
You’re not afraid.
“I had a look at your CV and thought, there’s no way I would hire you, not even if she begged or blackmailed me — I take great pride in my studio, I turned it from a little backroom space with flickering lights to what it is now. My clients trust me to provide quality service from beginning to end, and I will not let a woman, no matter how beautiful, get in the way of that.”
Geto reaches for your cheek, like he can’t help himself, and you let him. His hands are slightly calloused but otherwise smooth and soft. And that smile, the polite one he always wears, is gone. In its place is something that reflects how you feel, how you’ve both been feeling for a long time now. A frustration against the distance between you, the boundary that’s erected itself between employer and employee, boss and receptionist, and a man who’s seen it all versus a girl who knows so little.
You aren’t meant to be. Everything about this relationship is wrong, it’s inadvisable, foolish, like Hades and Persephone, or Eros and Psyche. It’s a tragic love story doomed from the very beginning, the kind people talk about centuries later with a mix sense of awe and pity. You know all about it, have read so many variations of the same story with the same individuals who think they know everything, who believe they’re different, special and that the Fates will smile fondly on them.
Except neither you nor Suguru are under the impression that you’re different, that this will turn out differently and that the cards you’ve been dealt are from a separate, fresh deck. You both know you’re playing a dangerous game.
Neither of you care.
“But then I talked to you. And you were so witty, so undeterred by my unrelenting questions, and so willing to learn as you go. You had the confidence of someone who’s worked a thousand jobs, who’s met a thousand people that, despite knowing better, I wanted to hire you on the spot.”
Carefully, with your eyes fluttering shut at the tentative touch of your skin, you breathe out, “Suguru, we shouldn’t.”
“I know.”
When your eyes open, you see his gorgeous, tortured eyes fall to your lips and you know what you want.
Your lips meet his.
This kiss is so similar to the one you shared that night, but oh so new. It seems so long ago now, and when you feel his plush lips devour yours it feels like this is new to both of you and it urges you to push in further. His tongue touches yours and you don’t hesitate to intertwine it, to explore all that he’s laying out for you.
Gasping for breath, you pull away with little success before he’s grasping the back of your neck and urging you over the desk, kneeing the papers there and hearing the pens and stapler fall to the floor with a dull clatter, you sit onto the desk and you hear his chair slam against the wall when he stands to press himself closer to you. He kisses you again.
“Things work differently with me,” he says in between pecks to your lips.
Whilst his mouth moves to your jaw, sucking at the skin by your ear, you giggle. “I know. My sister says you like control. Something about Christian Grey.”
Chuckling in your ear before nipping you there, he admits, “I’m not as insane as him. In truth, I don’t really know what I am, but I know it’s more intense than what most men ask for.”
“That’s okay, Suguru. We can work it out together, step by step.”
He kisses your pulse point. You moan. Goosebumps are rising along your arms; your back is arching to press as much of you closer to him. You’re barely capable of creating a single train of thought, you feel so lightheaded you don’t register how your legs are wrapping around his hips.
“My smart girl,” Suguru muses against your skin.
Your legs are wrapped around his hip, pulling him close until you can feel the bulge there push against your core. With a roll of your hips, the zipper of his jeans nudges your bundle of nerves. You gasp. And you seek out that pleasure again with slow, gradual grinds.
Breathlessly, you say, “Suguru…”
He’s scraping his teeth against your pulse point, one hand kneading your thigh and the other holding himself up. Filling your senses, all you can think about is him and how there’s a growing pressure within that’s dying to be released.
“Go on, pretty girl. Take what you need.” Tightening your legs around his hips, you grind harder, frustrated that there are layers between you. Your arch your back, chest rubbing against his. Like he knows what you want, his hand finds your breast, squeezing and groping. “No bra? Are you sure you came here to talk, angel?”
When his thumb brushes over your nipple, you cry out, body tightening as that coil inside snaps. You spasm, grinding hastily to draw out your pleasure. It’s much better than you any could have given yourself and you’re addicted. Hand flying to his hair, you thread it through, brushing out his hair tie until his silky hair cascades down.
He groans.
In a blink of an eye, you’re being pulled and pushed down onto your knees. You grip his thighs, blinking fast as you desperately try to regain your bearings.
“You’re asking for trouble, sweet thing. Can you handle it?” Suguru asks, a challenge glinting in his eyes as he smiles down at you.
You bite your lip, thighs squeezing to subdue the regrowing aching there. With a sudden bravery, your hands make their way up, revelling in the marble like strength in his muscles before they find his zip.
Hesitating, you feel something holding you back, an instinct within awakening. Awkwardly, you question, “May I?”
His smile widens, surprise flickering in his eyes, and then he’s threading his hands through your hair. It’s a rewarding pat, one full of warmth, and it’s empowering.
“Such a good girl. You’re a perfect little angel, aren’t you?” He coos. “Of course you may, my pretty girl. Go on, go at your own pace.”
Nodding, you unzip his jeans, tugging it down with his boxers. And what springs out leaves your mouth watering. It’s huge and intimidating. It’s bad enough that he’s well-endowed, but nothing about him is typical. He’s different to the average man in every way.
Starting with the metal piercing the underside of his dick, emerging through the head.
Seeing the horrified look on your face, he chuckles, the hair soothing your head delving down to pinch your chin. Unperturbed by your reaction, likely expecting it, he explains, “I got it done a year ago, mostly as a dare. It took around nine weeks to heal and yes, it did hurt.”
“B-but I-I can’t,” you stammer and shake your head, adding, “there’s just n-no way.”
Suguru sighs, thumb grazing your cheek. “You don’t need to. I understand this is too much too soon, but I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit. You’re more than capable.”
You don’t want to disappoint him. And you want to prove you can do whatever you set your mind to. Recalling one of your sister’s drunken admissions, you know the trick is to pinch your thumb, so you don’t gag, to breathe through your nose and take a little at a time.
“Okay, okay. I can do it.”
He gathers your hair and keeps them out of the way. Slowly, you wrap your hand around the base, gasping at the way your fingers barely touch. With no particular method in mind, you explore his length, thumb following a vein from bottom to top. He’s hot in your hand, almost burning, and the tip is shining with what you know to be pre-cum.
It’s pearly white and you can’t wait to know what it tastes like; you lean in and scoop up the drop with your tongue. You both groan.
Salty, you mull the taste over. It isn’t bad. And suddenly, you no longer feel scared. Your tongue fiddles with the bent metal barbell, surprisingly not minding the cold sensation against your hot tongue.
“That’s it,” he groans, grip on your hair tightening.
You widen your jaw, suckling the head, tongue pressing against the slit before it circles around, grinding the barbell back and forth. He groans louder, deep breaths vibrating through the room.
When you push in further, you make the mistake of doing it too fast. You gag, eyes tearing up.
“Slowly, pretty. Slowly. There’s no rush, okay?”
Coughing, you nod weakly, feeling embarrassed. Recovering your breath, you go back in, slower. Eventually, you work up a rhythm, bobbing your head up and down, taking more and more of him but never quite making it further than halfway.
Both hands on your head, he soothes your tears away with his thumb before he advises, “Relax your throat, sweet thing. I’ll guide you, is that alright?”
You tap his thighs twice in a yes.
And then he’s pushing in, more and more until he’s filling your throat, muscles stretching to take him in. Tearing up once more, you mentally swallow that panic rising, the claustrophobia within forcing your nails into his bare thighs.
“You’re doing so well, angel. So good -ngh- for me, hmm?”
Suguru pulls back, the piercing scraping your tongue. And then he pushes back in. Again and again, he builds up to a rhythm, allowing you to get used to it, before he gives you more of him.
This is so overwhelming, the feeling of his piercing bumping at the back of your throat, the ache in your jaw at the stretch, and the salty taste filling your senses. All you can see and feel and hear and taste is Suguru. You can’t get enough of him.
So, when he bottoms out, your lips tickling his skin, your eyes roll to the back of your head just as his do.
“I’m going to cum, pretty. Do you want to pull out?” He asks, pleasure written all over his face, the veins in his arm bulging at his barely constrained urge to fuck your throat freely. Knowing that he’s so in control, so concerned over you, when he could use you how he pleased, could take what he wants makes you so wet.
You blink rapidly.
“No? Are you sure you -ha- can take it? I won’t let you spit it out,” he warns.
Sucking your cheeks in, you suction him closer. His cock head is rubbing the back of your throat, piercing burning, and with a shallow thrust, he’s cumming down your throat.
Hot liquid fills your mouth.
Suguru pulls out and you swallow the thick cream he leaves in your mouth. Your head slumps against his thigh, gasping for breath, heaving like you’ve just ridden a rollercoaster.
Hands tucking themselves under your arms, he lifts you onto his lap just as he sits back on his chair, boxers pulled up before you even realise what position you’re in now.
He rubs your back, muttering encouraging words about how perfect you were, how amazing you did, and how he knew you’d do well for him.
“Open,” he orders, bottom lip pulled down by his thumb. He inspects your mouth and smiles at what he sees. “Good girl.”
And then he’s kissing you, tasting both yours and his essence.
“No wonder Miguel gave me a funny look when I asked how many piercings you have,” you whisper against his lips, a high pulsing through your veins.
Suguru chuckles. “He’s a good guy, did all my piercings. Eased all my concerns every time and I knew I wanted him in my studio.”
You nod.
Your eyes are heavy and you’re hiding your face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in, and pondering the change between you. You’ve accepted that you’re entering an unconventional relationship, that he’s going to introduce you to a world none of your friends had seen a glimpse of, but you won’t be navigating it by yourself.
He’ll lead you just as he had when you first started working here.
Softly, gently and with so much patience, you’ll be free to stumble as often as you need until you know who you are, what you want, and what you need to be.
“Get some sleep, my gorgeous, gorgeous girl.”
Is the last thing you hear before you fall deeper into sleep in his arms.
#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smut#Suguru geto#suguru x reader#suguru fluff#suguru smut#jjk drabble#jjk oneshot#suguru geto
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Creating strawmen, projecting strawmen onto people, they get justifiably upset, you feel vindicated because look they are being awful to you like you said, everyone sinks into their trauma and defensiveness and lashes out, we go in circles and circles of hurting each other instead of protecting ourselves and each other.
It doesnt matter who has it worse. We all have it bad. We're all targeted by the same people and the same ideologies. We're all hurt in similar but varying ways.
Ive seen a significant uptick recently of this "trans men are basically cis men and experience no oppression whatsoever" strawman. Its got to stop. It doesnt make other trans people more valid or more real or more safe to make these claims you have no evidence for. What are you trying to achieve? Because all youre doing is picking a fight and hurting people and getting hurt yourself. Is that what you want from your life? Getting bloodied and weakened in a pointless brawl while the wolves are scratching at the door? Because we really need to work out how to fight the wolves before they batter down the door.
You want respect, decency, a measure of safety? We can have each others backs. But only if you stop stabbing us there. We have much bigger fights to fight than who is the most oppressed tranny. And if we succeed there wont be an answer because we will achieve freedom and safety and and justice. Please just take a breath and look at what we have in common for a minute, instead of imagining all the ways we can hurt each other. Look at what we all have to fight for.
We arent cis men. We dont have male privilege. We dont have the confidence of a cis guy who's never been told no, we're unlearning a lifetime of being told to sit down and shut up and wait our turn and look pretty. We have also navigated complicated relationships with womanhood and femininity and stereotypes and expectations and disappointment. We are also navigating complex relationships with manhood and masculinity and patriarchal expectations and demands and how to build a sense of self that doesnt revolve around asshole dudebro traits like degrading women and bullying other men to prove how manly we are, and acting allergic to emotions. We've all experienced those assholes as women and we sure dont want to become them. We're not transitioning for safety same as you arent, we're trans because its who we are. We always have been and often still are subject to misogyny. Theres no safety pass out of the patriarchy and we tend not be very patriarchal asshole wealthy manly men so we dont have power or status around those types either.
We share so many struggles and so many vulnerabilities and we're so busy fighting each other over nothing of substance just whos worst hurt! And if you dont want to or cant be an activist thats fine we can just be allies. Aquaintances if not friends. Maybe even friends. We're all just people. And Im so so tired of this stupid division every fucking day trying desperately for anyone to see how much we are hurting. I see you. I want us to stop fighting so that we all have one less source of pain. And nonbinary people you are absolutely included as are intersex people as is everyone queer or adjacent. We're all weirdos and we're all punished for it. We all hurt really badly. We all feel and are in some ways invisible. Can we please put down the weapons so that we can rest and heal, and then draw up a game plan of some kind, and then start dealing with the wolves whoever can so we can all be properly safe. Including you. You dont have to be specially oppressed to deserve safety and respect, that comes free with being human. Theres nothing to prove. I believe you.
Like so sorry but after spending 80% of my childhood being sexually harassed (for being seen as a girl) and being sexually harassed (for being trans) and being plain ol' harassed (for being a freak) and being sexually harassed again (for being a freak), I just think you're being maliciously ignorant if you try to claim trans men... don't face misogyny? Or just, violence in general, or even violence specific to us.
This is no longer a debate for me, y'all are just... wrong. On purpose.
#and including anyone else ive forgotten#were not free till we're all free#mine#comment#sorry for the railroad op. cause youre not wrong. and you shouldnt have to detail your trauma to be listened to.#and im sorry that people hurt you#were all traumatised and hissing at each other and its like it never settles down bc were all rightfully afraid and protective.#i have to believe there are other options#look after yourself ❤
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"Can- Can you come over please?" (I believe prompt list 1 number 80?) with whoever you're inspired for please 😊 thank you! - em
Em, it was giving soft boy Luke who's maybe feeling shitty after a bad game, so I hope you like it. First time writing Luke so I'm super sorry if it doesn't feel right for him (as we think of him because obvs we don't know him but still) Also I like how I was like let's write something short and then...just kept writing...😂 Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :) Writing Masterlist
You'd been friends with Luke Hughes for almost as long as he'd been in New Jersey, both of you new to the city at the time had stumbled into each other quite literally one wintery afternoon. Your coffee going all over his hoodie, his doughnut squishing chocolate icing over your sweater. You'd expected him to yell, instead you learnt that day how utterly sweet and kind Luke Hughes was. He replaced your coffee and refused to let you buy him a new doughnut, but did let you invite him over so you could put some stain remover on his hoodie.
You might be thinking, 'are you crazy? Inviting a strange man to your apartment?', but you can only explain your risk through two pieces of information: 1) You knew roughly who he was. You weren't a fan of his by any means but you followed Hockey and had heard about the newest addition to the Devils, so you at least knew he wasn't a criminal, 2) Luke Hughes had been wearing snoopy socks and something about that had screamed 'non-threatening'.
Looking back it was probably slightly insane on your part, but it bagged you a close friend who you may or may not have had a massive crush on, so you couldn't really say you regretted risking it.
It wasn't unusual for Luke to phone you after a game, more often than not you got a quick phone call or a few texts sent through while he was out celebrating or commisserating with the team, often being invited out even when he knew you weren't much for late nights out on the town.
It was unusual though for that phone call to come in at 1 in the morning while you were sleeping.
You're groggy and half awake, hand patting the bedside table until you grip your phone, Luke's ringtone blarring through the speakers only because he was one of your few exceptions. One of a handful of people who could call you after 11pm without being sent straight to voicemail, the others being your family.
"Lukey? It's..." You stop to squint at your alarm clock, "1:41 in the morning, what's wrong?" You knew the game had ended late, but Luke should have been in bed by now or he should have been out partying with Jack and the boys, definitely not phoning you. You half expected him to be drunk on the other end of the line, maybe having phoned you while out with the team.
Instead his breath is shaky on the other end of the line, voice raspy like he's been crying and that's what has you sitting upright and swinging your legs out of bed before he even finishes his question.
"Can- Can you come over please?" His voice is scratchy and strained, a rasp that sounds defeated. You don't even considering getting changed from your pajamas, you just throw a jacket on from your closet.
"Yeah, yeah, of course, what's wrong?"
"Just...just come over please, angel" You're quick timing it as you shove your feet in a pair of shoes and grab your keys off the side, locking your apartment door behind you. It didn't matter to you that it was nearly 2am or that you hadn't brushed your hair or that you were half-asleep, all that mattered was Luke and the way he sounded like the world might be just a little too much for him right now.
"Okay, okay, want me to stay on the line?"
"No, just...drive safe?" You pause in the hallway, heart hurting at his concern, that even now when he's begging for your help he cares that you're safe.
"Yeah, course, Lu, i'm leaving right now, sweetheart." He lets out a shuddering breath on the line, right before he hangs up and you're certain you might cry because God, Luke shouldn't sound like that, so utterly defeated, so fragile.
You do your best to honour his request on the drive to his and Jack's apartment, even as you want to break a hundred traffic laws just to get there sooner, but you don't. It doesn't take long, but ten minutes feels like one hundred when all you want is to be see Luke and make sure he's okay.
He's at the door from the first knock and you don't say anything, just take him in. His tall form hunched at the shoulders like he's trying to hide within his hoodie, hood pulled over his head and eyes red rimmed, blotchy. There are dark, deep circles beneath his eyes and his lip is bruised and split, a few neatly placed stitches holding it together.
You don't say anything, just step forward and wrap him in your arms as best you can, tiptoeing to press your chin to his shoulder, arms tight around him as if you can protect him from whatever is going on in his head.
He grasps as you like you're a lifeline, fingers digging into your jacket, face pressed so tight to the crook of your neck that you're certain he'll fuse there.
He doesn't protest when you pull him into his apartment, door slamming shut. Doesn't protest when you pull him to his room, asking where Jack is, only to get a short clipped reply of 'club'. Doesn't protest when you sit him on his bed and join him, shoes being kicked off. It's not until you try to pull away from him that he really seems to come to life, hands grasping you firmer, pulling you back, "Don't go, please don't go..."
"'m not going anywhere, Lu, it's okay..." You pull back just enough that you can pull his hood back, fingers carding through his brown curls gently like he might break. "What happened?"
"Just needed you..." His face presses back into your shoulder as your fingers work through his hair like it's a perfectly normal thing to say to your best friend, like he didn't call because he had a shit game, because he doesn't want to talk about it."
"Lu...talk to me, baby"
There's a stark silence, broken only by a shaky breathe that comes from Luke as if the idea of talking is enough to make him cry for the second time that night. "I'm...i'm not good enough for the team, did a shit job tonight and we lost...it's my fault. Played like shit."
"What did Jack say?" You're gentle with it, soft voice, soft fingers on the nape of his neck. It's silly, he knows he's being dramatic, he also knows that it's not a friend thing to do. Knows he wouldn't call any of his other friends at near 2am because he needs them, knows he wouldn't beg for their fingers in his hair to sooth him or feel better just by the smell of their laundry detergent and shampoo. Luke knows he called you because he loves you, pretty sure he loved you the moment you excitedly showed him you'd gotten the coffee stain out of his UMIC hoodie.
"I was being too hard on myself, that it wasn't the 'Luke Hughes show'." He immitates Jack's voice, a pouty sort of tone riding his voice because he knows his brother is right even if he refused to sit moping with him and went out drinking instead.
"He's right. Hockey is a team sport, Luke, you aren't even on the ice the entire time! You do not get to decide that you're the reason a game is won or lost, you don't get to shoulder that."
"But.." Your palms cup his face, pulling him up to look at you. Your face is dead serious brows furrowed, lips pursed.
"No, you're a good hockey player. They picked you to play for them because of what you bring to the table and maybe you didn't play your best tonight , but you deserve to be on the team. You can't always be at 100." Your thumbs brush his cheeks under his eyes, like you might be able to wipe away the dark bags there. He looks worn, exhausted, tears just welling in those green eyes of his.
You're not entirely sure he believes you, "If I said I wasn't good enough because I had a bad day at work, what would you say to me?"
"To shut up and stop being mean to yourself..." Luke frowns at you like you're insane for even suggesting something like that, and it's what makes you smile for the first time that night, as if to say I told you so.
"Exactly, so stop being mean to yourself, Lu. You're amazing, i'm always in awe of how you skate..." You brush a curl from his eyes and watch them flutter closed slightly, throat tightening a little because you know this isn't the way you're supposed to feel about your best friend.
"Really?"
"Really..." You watch him carefully, the way he just leans more into your hands like he trusts you entirely to hold him up, the deep swelling of his lip, the beauty marks across his cheeks. "What do you need from me, right now?"
He takes a moment, like the words are stuck on the tip of his tongue whether unsure of how to ask or worried to make things weird. Both of you always toeing the line between friends and something decidedly more romantic.
"Can...can you just hold me? Just stay the night?" He blinks up at you with such big sweet eyes that you're not sure anyone would be able to refuse him, so you don't.
"I can do that."
You treat him delicately, like he's not a nearly 200 pound hockey player that regularly gets body slammed against boards and ice, who's covered in bruises and currently sporting a split lip. You pull him to lie down with you, curling around him like a protective blanket, pulling his face back into the crook of your neck, legs twisting with his. It's definitely not what friends do, but it's what he needs, so he grips you back tight, presses his face firmly into your neck and pulls your leg over his hip to be as close as possible.
You don't move more than the brush of fingers through his hair or down his arm, across his back. Even when you can hear soft snores, the sign of him having fallen asleep, you don't move because as much as Luke said he need this, you kind of need this too.
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I'd Marry You With Paper Rings - N.R
Summary: Natasha is many things but a person who knows comfort and care. But, with you, why does it come off naturally? As if, all her life, it is what she was trained to do—to you and only for you. She could feel it on the way home and her friends surely could hear it in the silence, but things happened. Would she still be the greatest warrior in this game of terror and save you or...?
Author's Note: Ahhhh, finally, here we are! 5k words, not proofread (im really sorryyy, i wanted to give it to you quickly since you guys have been bombarding me ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)
Warnings: simp!natasha, soft!natasha, tooth rotting fluff, happy y/n=happy natasha, ahhh Beefy!natasha, literally the calm before the storm, Y/n having some adult... thoughts about Natasha's hands
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3rd Person's POV:
Natasha was never the one to show sympathy, maybe for her friends who treated her more like a family than her own. They are the boundary between Natasha's humanity and Natasha's out of this world characteristics of a human.
Not that Natasha would care enough if millions of people would see her as a monster—hell she doesn't even care enough about the downfall of hundreds of companies before hers while she makes it to the top.
But, even with all that, it doesn't mean that Natasha doesn't tend to show her once in a blue moon kindness. Not 'show' show, as it is often done through the dark, in the silence of her name being labeled as anonymous. Doing things like donating half of a million to different charities—giving extra when it is Christmas.
Even so, Natasha couldn't careless to hear how grateful those people are for her, already being contented when Maria would say that it was already given.
All that only for her to show such care for a girl she was forced to marry—the same girl that caught something inside her she didn't know existed. How could she? When all she's ever known is how to hold a gun? How to fight raw with her trembling body until she passed a test that no teenager should got through? How to not prioritize how she feels?
She's grown to believe that her calloused hands are never meant to hold someone so dearly. For her mouth that ended life after life to never speak with such care and mold with gentleness. For her mind that only craved for revenge and thought of unholy things to and never those comforting words that left her mouth when she spoke to you.
Never believed that her heart could ever feel things that she felt for you.
"Do you want some juice to go with that?" She analyzed you carefully, as if you would break even with just a wrong glare of a pair of eyes.
She reminded herself to make up those words that left her mouth with a certain gentleness—witnessing how you would tensed visibly when she or Maria would speak out of nowhere, especially after what happened 3 days ago.
"N-no... water's good." You spoke quietly, looking at her briefly before you focused on the food again.
Natasha stood up, going to the fridge to get the orange juice that she often sees you pouring yourself with before eating. Also pouring herself one, she brought those two tall glasses on the table, offering you a small smile that she seemed to be wearing oh so often whenever you would look at her.
"T-thank you..." She watched as a certain light sparked in your eyes, almost the same one she found herself yearning to get a glimpse of again.
Clearing her throat, Natasha was close to feeling embarrassed with how long she set her gaze on you, turning back on her food once again. "Maria bought some fresh fruits earlier, you can just get some in the fridge if you would want." She said before taking a bite of the rotisserie chicken you made.
Even with all your energy seemed to be wiped off of the face of the earth, you still managed to give her the best of your cooking and never failed to make her stomach grumbled in happiness. Natasha could swear that all the foods you make is enough to make her work non stop without being tired, but she would never tell anyone that.
Even if the foods you make are against her diet and workout routine.
But, then again, she would never ever tell a soul about that.
Natasha saw in her peripheral vision how you only nodded, a very small tight lip smile—almost invisible, stretch its way out of your face, but still, Natasha could clearly see that.
Inhaling a bunch of air quietly, Natasha shook her thoughts away and decided to eat in silence once again. "Mr. Clint and the others... when will they come here?" Natasha heard you asked quietly.
"Oh... I don't know..." Natasha answered, gazing up to your face only to notice how you shoulder deflated. "It's been so busy in the company, but I'm sure they'll come visit soon." She almost cringed with how she rushed to add that answer, but felt a wave of contentment when she saw you nodded.
Having small conversations with Natasha seemed to become easier these past few days, and you are more than happier to entertain it while it lasts. Pushing aside your shyness, taking advantage of every seconds talking with her.
Silence once again covered the atmosphere before she heard you clear your throat and started to talk. "W-when are we getting married?" A question that never left your mind ever since you got there, having no idea what no idea what will even happen.
Or how things will happen. It felt right to ask that—to talk to Natasha about the barely spoken matrimony that will be happening to the both of you, or what you thought to be happening.
Natasha stopped moving, it felt as if her blood also stopped flowing. What Yelena said came rushing inside her head, feelings and emotions came clashing with each other in just a mere split of a second.
You didn't know. You never knew.
"Uh..." Natasha started speaking, not wanting her silence to bring more questions inside your naive mind. Remembering how she sometimes treated you so low just because of the forced marriage that came upon her door. You are more of the victim than she was in this. "My parents... and yours, are still working on it." She offered you a glance, not knowing if she's trying to reassure herself you're believing her.
You slowly nodded, looking at her in the eyes. "Hmm, okay... we just... haven't really talked about it... and I- I mean, I..." You slowly looked down, as if it makes you feel embarrassed to admit what you were about to say. "I just wanted to... uhm, know more..." Looking at her through your eyelashes, the same look that makes Natasha's heart wince with something she would never dare to name what.
Natasha nodded, not knowing anymore what to say. She is a woman full of words, knowledge and everything.
Shame on her parents for giving her the only person who could bring her to her knees, but that would be something that Natasha will never let herself admit, even to herself.
She just knows that she will think of something about the case of your marriage. Something that doesn't involve disappointing you more than you might already have.
Thinking of an escape, she inhaled, remembering the question she wanted to ask ever since she watched you too long while you were gazing out in the balcony. "Would you like to get out of here?" Your gaze snapped up at her, your eyebrows raised in an adorable manner—well, Natasha thought so.
"Go...? Out?" You asked as if in disbelief.
You've never be out of this huge penthouse ever since you step a foot in here—not like you weren't also caged back in Hawaii.
"Yeah..." Natasha answered, cutting herself a piece of the chicken as if she just asked something casual. For othe first time, she was gonna take you out. Not like how she felt when she saw you longingly look out in the window. "You know... mall? or, wherever you want to go."
It made you feel giddy, having to finaly roam the place you only gaze at on the big windows and spacious balcony that Natasha has inside the penthouse. "Yes." Natasha could hear the visible high pitched tone in your voice, making her heart swell hearing a certain joy in your voice.
Looking into your eyes, you're surprised to see how a small smile could reach her green eyes. "Would you like to go out today?" Your mouth was agaped, looking at the clock.
"N-now?" You asked, hesitating. As if you're not believing what she was saying.
"Yeah, I mean, if you're in the mood. But, if you're not, I'm sure I can settle my busy schedule for you." Oh how she would do anything to spend time with you—what she would do to give you everything.
Perking up, you dismissed her offer, your hands clasping together in front of you as if you're pleading to her. "No!" Her small smile slowly stretched widely. "We can go now, Natty!" If you were both in a cartoon show now, the way her ears perked up at the nickname would be visble, almost as visble as the flush spreading from her neck up to her cheeks.
You didn't seem to mind the adorable nickname you've just given her, she thought. So, she kept it behind her thoughts, noting to deal with it later—when you're out of sight.
"Are you sure?" She said, slowly taking a bit of the food, as if it was to hide her smirk.
You head shook up and down, Natasha couls see how tight you're gripping the utensils beside your plate like a chile. How you're trying to suppress a huge smile she wished she could force out of you. "Yes... yes, Natty."
God, shame on her parents for giving her the only person who could bring her to her knees—who could make her do impossible things.
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Natasha glanced at the back of your head for the nth time, only to avert her gaze on the road. Not sure if it was because of the fear of getting caught or the new rule she made earlier. Always keep you safe.
"There's a park near at the 2nd stoplight ahead..." She started, her pointed gaze staying on the road but she could see how you turned to look at her. Did she forced herself not to gaze back into your awaiting eyes that sparkles as if she held the stars in the sky? "But, there's also a Mall a few blocks away from it with an amusement park behind it. Many options are laid out everywhere, where would you like to go?"
As she explained, her tone was surprisingly soft. Not the one she would use to her people—not even the one she would use to her friends and especially to her family.
"I-I don't... Where do you want to go?" She heard you say, as if scared to make a decision. A decision that's big. There was a certain edge in your tone, but she could hear it from the tip of your tounge.
She had seen your eyes that big ferris wheel from her balcony, always facing the way towards it as if your biggest wish is too touch it from miles away.
She turned to look you in the eyes, taking advantage of the red lights stopping the motions of the flowing cars. Your hair was down, a spectacle hanging on the arch of your nose, since you were having a headache earlier as you said, saying it just might be your visionary problems, she watched as you put it on.
"You choose, detka. I promise, I'm fine with wherever you want to go, yeah?" She said ever so gently before reaching out to pat your head, as if you were some child.
Natasha is good with so many things, really, but not when it comes to physical touch. Only knowing how to knock out people with a punch and kill with a gun.
She watched as you look down and fumbled the ends of your blue dress, that fits oh so perfectly well with your body, hugging all its curve. It took her all the will power she has to not check you out and make it weird with hwo long she was staring earlier. Only if you knew what you do to her.
She averted her gaze when her eyes catch a couple of faint bruises that seems to be healing already. It kept her awake at night wondering what your body has been through for the bruises to stay for that long.
She was surprisingly happy when she saw you wore a dress, even with the cardigan on top that you forgot to wear earlier, giving her a chance to see you. Clearly, Natasha would rather for you to take it off, but she found herself prioritizing you as her heart ached seeing you fumble the cardigan, fastening it around you.
Whatever you're comfortable with. She thought.
She caught herself staring at your lips a little too long before averting her eyes and inahling deeply, making sure she's quiet while doing so.
"How about we go to the park first? After that, we can eat at the mall and if you would like to buy something, we can do that also?" She caught in her peripheral vision how you snapped your head towards her, making her turn to you once again, hoping for time to slow down. "Then after that, we can go around the amusement park and do whatever you want?" She watched as you took in everything she said, with that same expression you always wear whenever she's talking.
The same one that makes Natasha feel so seen... and heard.
She's a woman of her words, giving people no choice but to listen, obey and watch everything that she does. But with you, it feels different.
You nodded, giving her a small shy smile before settling your hands on your lap. "I'd like that."
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Y/n's POV:
Clutching the cardigan in one hand, I hold the melting ice cream in the other that Natalia had bought me. It made me laugh thinking that she might've been reading my mind since I was just looking at the ice cream truck, with so much longingness to get a taste and she insisted on buying the both of us.
We walked side by side, letting her lead me as my eyes trailed everywhere. My heart jumps in happiness at every person I see, every structure that fascinates me, and every joyful moment I witness.
This scenery can't be seen from the balcony at the penthouse—god, how much I wish I could see it from there.
"Here..." Turning to look at her, I saw her wiping the bench with her bare hands for any invisible dirt before standing up straight. "Sit. We could see everything from here and so your feet won't get tired also." She explained, wiping her hand from the back of her pants.
I smiled, suddenly feeling giddy for some reason. She waited until I was seated, taking a seat beside me, unconsciously making me get a whiff of her expensive perfume that I grew accustomed to. I could smell it everywhere in the penthouse, making it weirdly feel more... comfortable.
"Thank you, Natalia." I mumbled, looking at her even though she just kept her gaze towards the scenery in front of us, only nodding as she ate her ice cream that is almost finished already. I haven't even eaten mine halfway!
I rummage through my small sling bag, taking out a hand sanitizer and bumping it to her biceps that are finding inside a black polo that she paired with some slacks. "Your hands are dirty, you shouldn't have wiped the seat." I murmured, catching her gaze for a moment before taking the sanitizer.
I took her ice cream so she could use both of her hands. "Oh, thanks." I heard her say almost inaudibly and she went on to sanitize her hands. "You could've gotten dirt on your dress, detka. It's light." She said, and I only shrugged, nodding as I watched her hands while licking the ice cream.
Even her hands looked so expensive. I found myself staring at it for too long, feeling something I've never felt before. I bet it would be larger than mine. The veins around it are visible, but it didn't change how... cool I see it.
"You have beautiful hands, Natalia." I blurted out, offering her a small smile as I showed my adoration.
I caught a glimpse of her throat's movement of swallowing, as her gaze snapped to mind. She didn't smile but kept her lips in a tight line and nodded a little. She's the one who put the sanitizer back in my bag before taking her ice cream as I lick mine, catching her eyes sticking to the movements I made before looking back towards the scenery in front of us.
I did the same, minding how she cleared her throat a couple of times and the way her shoulder moved as she inhaled deeply.
"Do you often go here?" I asked, and her head moved to the side, not meeting my gaze but a sign that she listened to me and is paying attention.
I watched as she shook her head. "Hmm, no. It's my first time here. I just passed by the same road on the way here very often." Narrowing my eyes, I was surprised.
"What? Really?" If I lived here before, this would be my favorite place! There's a breathtaking fountain in the middle, trees surrounding the area that provides fresh air, food truck vendors littering almost everywhere. "I'd go here everyday, that's for sure." Giggling a little, I stared at my ice cream, looking at the certain side that is already melting and licking it all the way up, tilting my head to the side as I did so.
While doing that, I caught Natalia's gaze since her head is still facing sideways. Once again, her eyes stick to the movements I made before she looked away as if my gaze shot laser beams at her face.
Clearing her throat once again, she answered, "You like it that much?" She said, already finishing off the cone.
I nodded even though she couldn't see me with a smile playing on my face. "I love it." I said with a certain enthusiasm that I made sure she heard.
Her head moved in satisfaction. "Good."
"Why do you not come here?" I asked further, checking if I'm not annoying her with my questions.
"Hmm, not the... kind of places I like to go to." She confessed and I slowly nodded, jumping in to reply.
"We could go now if you would like." I offered, watching the side of her face.
I found myself almost insecure with how well defined her face is, her nose is so perfect and how her lashes seemed to be so well cut even though it's so full.
Her eyes met mine, only then did I realize how intently I was staring at her. My gaze fell down on her lips that looked as soft as the clouds to avoid her eyes. "No—I mean, it's fine... I'm enjoying it." She gave me a smile that warms my heart, it felt like I was hugging Tamtam.
Nodding with a content smile on my face, I caught how her gaze on me softened a little more before I looked back at the scenery and finished my ice cream.
I am loving this day more and more!
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I felt a hand circling around my waist as we walked inside the mall—a very huge one, and seemed to be so expensive. There are a lot of luxurious brands around that I have seen my Mom and Dad have back at home. There were a lot of guards more than usual when we entered the place, but it seems like it was normally like that as Natalia guided me inside.
There's so many people, but it's not crowded either. It doesn't look like the malls that Lucy would take me to. It could not be an ordinary mall.
"Would you like to buy something? Or should we eat first, hmm?" Turning to look back at Natalia who was looking around the area, only then did I realize how close she is to me, but I didn't make a big fuss about it—finding it rather... comforting.
"I-I..." Looking around, I caught a glimpse of restaurants that seemed to be very expensive too. Well dressed people going in and out, walking past us. "I don't know, Natty..." My attention is getting everything and capturing everything.
Not used to going out and being with so many people in foreign places is not something that felt comforting to me, though it is not bad either. Things just tend to... overwhelmed me.
"Okay, how about we eat first hmm? Then we can go buy whatever you want." I felt a hand tucking the strands of my hair behind my ear, out of my face making me look back at the owner of the same calloused hand.
She's smiling down at me, urging me to make a decision but doesn't make me feel pressured at the same time. "I'd like that, Natty." I said, grinning up at her as I clutched her hand.
"Okay then, come on, detka. I have a favorite restaurant around here, you'll like it." We started walking as she pulled her hand away from mine but kept her other hand around my waist, keeping me close.
"Oh, you go here a lot?" I asked, looking up at her.
Without returning my questioning gaze, she answered. "I own the Mall."
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"Ms. Romanoff."
"Good afternoon, Madam."
"Great to see you again, Ms. Romanoff."
Greetings after greetings from people from the restaurant and until now in a very big shopping area where she lead me. I smiled through it all even though I haven't heard them saying my name, noticing as Natalia did not even seem to acknowledge all of it, only nodding in the air.
"You pick whatever you want, alright?" She said to me, leaning down as her hands stayed put around my waist, as if whispering a secret. "Here..." She turned and pulled out a cart that was behind here.
"I-I..." Looking up at her hesitantly. "I don't think I need anything." It took her a moment to respond, looking at me with what seemed to be an amusement or surprised in her eyes.
It is true. I don't think I need anything. I have clothes. I brought a couple of my outside bags and shoes.
"It's..." She trailed off, making me look at her confusedly before she turned and motioned a person to come. They started talking, so I took the chance to wander my gaze around the floor, still staying in her hands that seemed to be glued around me.
There's so many... things in here. I feel like everything can be found here. Bags, alcohol, necessities, clothing, jewelry, I could also see a food shop at the end of a hall—just everything.
There were lots of workers too, buyers going in and out and around.
"...No, I want the best one. Give me the latest one you have..." I overheard Natalia talk but my attention quickly went to a stuffed toy that looked so cute! Oh god, now I missed my stuffies back at home.
I suddenly felt giddy and my hands itched to touch them. Thankfully, I brought my wallet with me and Natalia had insisted on paying for the earlier payments. Maybe I could buy her one too!
I turned to check on her if she's already done talking to the man, as soon as I heard them finishing up the conversation, tha man walked away and I quickly tugged on Natalias arm. "Natty." Her gaze immediately went down to meet mine, her eyebrows narrowing in question. "Can I go over there?" Turning as I point towards the pack of stuffies that comes in different kinds, sizes and colors. "Please?" I added as soon as I look back to her, she was already looking at me with her lips turning upwards on one side—smirking.
"I mean—if it's okay with you—but if not! We can just go and look at some other things." I immediately said, pulling away from her.
Quickly, in return, she took ahold of my hand again. "Come on, detka." The cart on one hand and mine on the other, she tugged me towards it. "Would you like to buy those?" She asked as soon as we got near towards it.
Forgetting to answer, my hand quickly reached out to take a hold of the biggest one in the center before leaning towards it to give it a squeeze. "It's so adorable! It's so fluffy!" I squealed, making sure that only Natalia and I could hear. "Natty!" Calling out as I turned to look at her, "Come! Take a look—hold it, it's so fluffy!" Catching the smile from her face fade quickly as she stood up straight, looking around as soon as I reached my hand out.
"I don't—I don't think..." She sounded hesitant as she continue to look around, as if checking if people are looking at us, but as soon as her gaze met mine, her shoulder relaxed a little and I watch as a small smile stretch its way out of her face.
Taking my hand in hers as she walked slowly, I tugged her until she's just as close to the stuffy as I am. "Squeeze it! Like this." I hugged the huge brown teddy bear, only to be stopped by a voice.
"Sorry, Miss, but you're not allowed to do that." It was flat and seemed to be upset, looking back I saw one of the worker here. She was looking at me with one of her eyebrows raised as her gaze trailed up and down my figure.
Quickly pulling away, I bowed my head down. "Oh! I'm-" I was going to start apologizing but Natalia's booming cold voice cut me off.
"Go. We will be buying this, don't worry." The woman stammered as soon as Natalia walked in front of me, putting her hands around my shoulder.
The woman stammered the apologies that slipped her mouth, walking away quickly after finishing. "N-Natty, I-I'm really sorry, I didn't know-" With my heart almost beating its way out if my chest, thinking that Natalia might have been so disappointed at my actions.
"Hey, hey, stop with those. Touch everything you wanna touch, try everything you want, don't mind them, alright?" I coyly looked up to her, my hands wringing together in hesitation.
"Come on now, pick what else you might like, okay? I'll get this delivered in the penthouse, I don't think it will fit with us in the car." Her small laugh made my smile, before I frowned.
"Wait, how much is this?—" Again, I was cut off.
"Something you shouldn't be worried about, baby." With that, she called a new worker and started discussing about the delivery transaction, leaving me gazing at her.
"Now, what else would you like?"
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Natasha's POV:
"What- What is this?" Stopping my movements to start the car, I looked down to Y/n's outstretched hands with what seemed to be a wallet in her hold.
"You didn't let me pay..." She turned her head down, as if scared to meet my gaze. "I wanted to buy you those other stuffies earlier. Here, take my wallet and take how much it costs or... or... oh, also the other things that you got me from the store. It was so many and expensive, it might've cost you a lot." Looking back to me, she forced the wallet into my chest as I gaze at her in disbelief, smirking as I did so.
This girl never fails to surprise me. Chuckling, an idea came up to me.
Taking a hold of her arm, I took her wallet. "Those numbers comes back to my bank account every minute, darling. But... I'll take this." Her eyes widened a little as I put her pink wallet inside my blazer.
"Oh- a-all of it?" She asked, and I start the car.
"Yeah... all of it." Smiling at her as I pressed a kiss on the back of her hand, holding it on her lap.
The blush on her face didn't go unnoticed as I smiled, gazing towards the way.
"O-okay..." She settled down on her seat, both of her hands holding mine.
"Are you tired already, solnechnyy svet?" I could feel her confused gaze burning holes into the side of my head but I didn't bother explaining what the word meant just as she didn't bother asking what it is.
"Not really, no." I heard her say as she leaned back to the seat, gazing back at the road where the city lights laid out before us.
Looking towards her, catching a glimpse of how the lights reflected over her face. I could feel myself breaking a smile, which I let on, going back to looking at the road.
"Are you sure, detka?" I asked once more, my tone playful.
"I just want to rest already, but not yet sleepy." She explained, her voice soothing my ear.
"Hmmm." I hummed in acknowledgement. "Not yet sleepy. Alright, princess." I added, turning the wheel around the corner.
I felt a tug on my arm before she started speaking. "Can we watch a movie later?- I mean, only if-if you're not tired... but also if uhm- if you would like to. But, it's fine if you won't." Gazing back at her face, I reached my hand to caress the side of her face on the skin that I could reach for a few second, calming her down.
"We could do that, I'll cut more fruit for you for snack. I don't think Maria got us some popcorn." Before turning away, I catched how she perked up, making me smile unconsciously as my heart seemed to jump, which I ignored.
"That's awesome, Natty!" She said in delight. "I would really love that."
I have felt that killing people who deserved it is fulfilling. Watching companies and people burn down as they tried to pick up a fight with me brings the spark of happiness and contentment to my insides.
And, I never knew there will be much more greater things than that.
Now, I found out, only a voice is enough to explode such a thing inside me.
Enough to make me feel as if I'm on top of the world.
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Author's Note: Ahhhh, finally! I apologize for making you all wait, I did see the multiples of asks that have been sent to me, I didn't have enough energy to answer them, I'm really sorry. I was sick for days, but I'm doing a lot better now! I also got the next chapter on the works already, and I'm sorry in advance for it 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ
#natasha romanoff#natasha marvel#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha x reader
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It’s Nice to Have A Friend - Jschlatt
Part 1
Reader has been lonely their whole life. They have never been in a relationship. They don’t understand why no one will love them but their best friend, Schlatt has always been in love with them.
Part 2
Part 3
From a young age, you have always been a hopeless romantic. Your favorite content always revolves around romance of some sort. You even have had your wedding planned since you went to your first wedding at merely six years old. Your plans are forever cemented on a Pinterest board that you continue to add to about monthly. I mean your taste has changed since 2015, but some things still remain true.
The only problem is that you haven’t got to experience romance yourself. At the ripe old age of 25, you have never been in a relationship. You have had your first kiss, but it wasn’t magical. You only did it because you hated being the college kid who had never kissed anyone. You slightly regret it, but at least it was out of the way.
The only good thing is that at least you have a best friend who you made a marriage pact with. You and your best friend Schlatt, met in middle school. When you were both sad and single in high school, you made a pact that if neither of you were married by 40, you would get married. It was just a silly thing that you both constantly laugh about.
When you met Schlatt in middle school, the two of you immediately hit it off. You saw Schlatt sitting by himself one day and decided to sit by him. You had a few classes with him and thought he seemed like a cool dude. At first he acted like he wanted to be alone, but you learned soon after that he really didn't have many friends. The two of you learned you had a lot in common. You both loved Nintendo, especially Mario Kart as well as computer games.
The one difference is you loved all things romance whereas Schlatt only cared about gaming and baseball. The really fucked up thing about the universe is that Schlatt has had multiple relationships while you remain single. His relationships usually never lasted, but it was still strange. The universe also made you bisexual and you still somehow manage to be lonely. But at least you had your best friend, Schlatt and that stupid marriage pact.
The hardest moment for you was when Schlatt decided to move to Austin, Texas. It was the longest and farthest apart you have ever been from each other. You knew it was good for career and would help him grow his channel, but it sucked being apart for so long. Thankfully, Schlatt made the decision to come back home to New York. When he came back, it was like nothing changed. You had your best friend back and nothing could make you happier.
Most of your nights lately have been spent hanging out at Schlatt’s apartment playing Mario Kart like you did as kids. Tonight was no different. Schlatt was playing as a Villager and you were playing as Cat Peach. “I tried downloading Tinder again,” you say, randomly.
“Why?” Schlatt asked, his eyes located on the screen.
“Maybe there’s someone new. We live in New York. Who knows who might have moved here? Maybe my soulmates!”
“Toots, how many times do I have to tell you? One, your soulmate is not going to be on tinder and two, you’re better off with a true New Yorker than some new kid that wants to make it on broadway or some shit.”
You sigh. “Oh my god, but imagine they are on broadway! You know my love for musical theatre! Maybe we need to go watch a show. The lead being so into their part locks eyes with me and we realize we are truly in love like the characters on the stage.”
Schlatt lets out a small laugh while rolling his eyes. “You are ridiculous, (Y/N),” he says, looking at you.
“You’re just mad that I’m kicking your ass right now.”
“You wish, Fucker,” he says, his competitive spirit coming back.
The two of you continue playing until you both decide you're hungry, so Schlatt orders pizza from your favorite place. “You staying the night?” Schlatt asks, grabbing the Bénédictine bottle and a few solo cups.
“Might as well. It’s the weekend after all,” you say, pouring the liquor into your cup.
“The guest room is always open for you. However, the cats have made it their own, so they might sleep with you.”
“It would be nice to have someone or something laying beside me even if it is just cats. I did always say I was going to be the crazy cat person, but the tables have seemed to turn,” you joke.
“I’m a very proud cat dad. They make great content and the ladies love them,” Schlatt says, moving his eyebrows.
You laugh at him. You miss the way his smiles grow with each laugh that leaves your mouth. “Did I tell you I started a new hobby?” You ask him.
“No? How do you have the time to have another hobby? What happened to crocheting or reading or shipping random men together?”
“I’m still doing all those things and I ship people of all genders. Anyways, I started coloring.”
“Coloring? Like with crayons?” He asks, not in a malicious way, but with genuine curiosity.
“No, with alcohol markers and white gel pens to add highlights. I saw it on TikTok of course and it’s been really fun. It’s also very stress relieving.”
“Can I see some of your finished work?” He asks, his eyes not breaking contact with yours.
“Oh yeah, sure,” you say, pulling your phone out. Sometimes you find it strange how Schlatt actually cares about your hobbies and various interests. He never makes you feel bad about it. He just lightly teases you, but you know that’s just how he is.
Schlatt looks at the pictures you took of the pages you have colored. “Awe I love the little kitty. They are cute! This is really impressive, Toots. It looks like you printed these out. Maybe next time you come over, you should bring your markers and we can color together. Mine won’t be near as good as yours, but I bet it would be fun,” Schlatt says.
You hold your pinky out and Schlatt wraps his around yours. “I’m holding you to that, Big Guy.”
“You know I’d never break a pinky promise. You bring the markers and I’ll bring the Bénédictine.” The marriage pact was formed on a pinky promise and that makes your heart feel warm.
You hear the doorbell ring and realize that your pinkies are still connected. You quickly get up to go answer the door. You see a very handsome man holding the pizza boxes. “Here’s your pizza,” he says. “It’s not everyday that I deliver to someone so pretty.” He winks at you.
“You’re too nice. Hold on, let me grab your tip,” you smile, turning around. You see Schlatt and he hands you a ten dollar bill. “Thank you.”
“Sorry I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. I couldn’t have flirted with you if I knew,” the guy apologizes.
“He’s not-“ you start.
“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Schlatt says, grabbing the pizza and handing him the money. “Have a good night.” Schlatt closes the door. He goes to the kitchen to grab plates before coming back to the living room.
“What was that?” You ask him.
“What? I just finished what you were going to say. That guy also was probably a high schooler.”
You just decide to not push it any further, knowing that Schlatt is probably right. “What movie do you want to watch?” You ask.
“As long as it’s not a musical, I don’t care what we watch. I recommend Tokyo Drift, but you’re the guest,” Schlatt says, with a piece of pizza in his mouth.
“We can watch Tokyo Drift. It’s been awhile since you picked the movie.”
Schlatt smiles at you. “Thanks Bub.” He puts the movie on.
It doesn’t take long for you to pass out. Schlatt knew it was inevitable. You usually fall asleep during a film and with liquor and pizza on your belly, it’s no surprise when he hears your soft snores. Your head makes its way on Schlatt’s shoulders. He smiles at you and he feels his heart start to race. He wishes you weren’t so hard on yourself and saw how amazing you were.
After about twenty minutes, he realized that you were pretty much out. Instead of having you sleep on the couch, he gently picks you up, bridal style and carries you to the guest bedroom. He carefully lays you down and places the blanket over you. He watches in awe as jambo cuddles beside you. When he knows you’re definitely asleep, he kisses your forehead. “I love you. Sleep tight, Toots,” he says, cleaning up the living room before going to his bed. Schlatt wishes you were laying beside him. He would hold you tight and never let you ever think you were incapable of being loved. He falls asleep, happy with the fact that you are asleep in his house and not with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
A/N: yay!! New fic!! Thank you to 🍓 anon, and everyone else who suggested this req!! Hope you enjoy the first part. Sorry I’m posting this in the middle of the night! Let me know what you know!!
#chuckle sandwich#jschlatt#jschlatt fanfic#jschlatt x reader#grumpy sunshine#lunch club#youtube#friends to lovers#unrequited love#🍓 anon
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where i grew up, the hangout spot was the mall, and it was bleak, folks! but it was more accessible than the playgrounds and parks (not allowed to be in them if little kids were in them; also not allowed to be in them after sunset) and it asked less from you than a coffee shop or fast food restaurant (seating time limit, minimum purchases) and it was more protected than the various parking lots outside takeout spots and coffee shops where teens would park their cars and just loiter. Despite the many signs with instructions not to loiter.
The thing about the mall, though, is that while you could walk around indoors with your friends the whole time it was open and never buy anything, and you could sit in the food court, or on benches throughout the mall, until the mall cops chased you out of that one corner into the next farther along, the problem with it really was that it was a fucking mall. I know we live in an absolutely advertising saturated age now, so it might be hard to sort of separate this out, but it's actually not a positive experience to do all of your socializing and relaxing in a space that is constantly selling you things.
one of the problems of being constantly sold to is that it can be difficult not to talk about the subjects that are being put in front of you, even if you have no risk of actually spending money on them. So in the mall we would find ourselves talking constantly about clothes and makeup and shoes and magazines - yeah I'm old enough for magazines - and maybe, if the mall we were in had relevant stores, books or music or video games. But you couldn't watch a movie or play a video game together in the mall, and eventually the bookstore staff would come and chase you out if you all sat on the floor to read anything. and the only music you got to hear was piped in over loud speakers.
actually like think about that for a second, if you do all of your hanging out in the mall, the only music that you get to hear with your friends is the music that stores play at you to get you in the mood to buy their stuff. When people try and explain why we got so fucking sick of nickelback, I want you to imagine a world where that is the most interesting music the mall is willing to play for you, and they are going to play it on loop.
The other thing about hanging out in the mall, though this maybe changed by age and location, was it was likely that a bunch of you worked in the mall. So you already spent a fair amount of your time listening to mall music, quickly eating food court food, and dealing with other mall patrons, including your friends, for minimum wage. takes the shine off pretty quickly, I think.
When I first started working at the mall I was really curious about what the mall was like when it wasn't open, if there was sort of a secret second layer to the mall of back passages to garbage bins or bank deposit slots, if there was an interesting layer to its liminal space. unfortunately I think the answer in most cases is a firm no. malls exist to sell you things, and they are very much optimized to do that, and they don't tend to have interesting misused corners while in normal operation. dead malls are different.
so yeah hanging out in the mall, I can definitely see how with the few other options on the table the mall can look pretty good but More than a lot of places, a mall is designed to convince you the that you're the sort of person who wants to spend all of their money on the things at the mall has, and people have worked for decades and decades to optimize the architecture, the visual design, the sound design and everything else towards that goal. it turns your friendships and your social life into a thing that happens explicitly at the site of spending money, of consumption, etc. I don't think it's great.
and I do think a lot about how the internet these days is so riddled with ads and so intensely about consumption, shopping, products. I think we've really found ourselves in a place where all we have is the mall, just, the shittiest version of it.
I understand that we're all mourning the death of public third spaces and feeling nostalgic for how things were in the 80s or whatever, but in terms of lost treasures of the past, I feel like people are losing sight of the fact that the go-to hangout spot being a shopping center/"mall" was already a pretty bleak expression of how (especially US) culture revolved around capitalist consumerism? Even before they started to ban teenagers from existing there.
Idk whenever I see a nostalgic aesthetic post venerating the lost magic of a shopping multiplex I just imagine in 30 years time people going "these were the good times... What we lost" and then just posting a screenshot of the Amazon.com homepage, pffff
When we rebuild society I feel like we should try to make the social centerpieces/hangout spots like, parks, and entertainment/community/leisure centers, rather than money extraction complexes
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Hello, I want to congratulate for gaining such big audience on this blog. Also wanted to say thank you for all your hard work. You are one of the blogs that made me come to this fandom in 2020-2021.And thanks for all emotions that you're precious writtings gave me.
As for headcanons, can you please write another "How it to be friends with... " but with Leona, Sebek, Jamil, Ortho and Deuce? The first one was cute and funny
Have a nice day and stay hydrated 💐💐
Thank you for your support!!
It’s been so long, I forgot I had written friend headcanons in the past 😅 (They’re here if you’re interested! Featuring Idia, Riddle, Ruggie, Floyd, and Kalim~)
Curiouser and Curiouser...
You do many of the typical things that friendly schoolmates do together: walking to class, collaborating on assignments, eating lunch in the cafeteria, studying, etc. You even get into trouble together, though Deuce attempts to be the "honors student" that keeps you two out of it. (He just ends up getting dragged into the situation with you anyway.)
He’s pretty low on pocket money, but if he notices that you don’t have much to eat yourself or you’ve forgotten or skipped over a meal, Deuce offers whatever he has on him. A protein bar, a juice box, whatever! You can always share, right?
The first to throw a punch in your honor! … Okay, maybe that’s not something to be so proud of, but he’ll still do it if someone’s really rude to you. Deuce will at least try to get them to apologize. If they put hands on you though, all bets are off.
Eager to help! Is your phone busted? Hand it to Deuce, he’ll try tinkering with it until it’s operational again. The snack you paid for isn’t falling out of the vending machine? He’ll kick the crap out of it until your chosen snack falls out (along with about 10 other items).
His mom knows all about you because Deuce is constantly telling her about his cool new buddy. Sometimes you’ll walk in on him on the phone and he’ll put his mom on speaker so you can say hi to her. She often thanks you for “looking out” for Deuce while she’s not there—he needs more people like you to support him!
Being friends with Leona grants you a number of "privileges" (which is what he calls them). These so-called "privileges" include: entry to Savanaclaw and/or the Botanical Gardens (without risking the threat of being wailed on to get out), slightly more patience when you call out to him in public, and the random chance for him to chuck his credit card at you and command you to run an errand for him. ("While you're at it, buy yourself something nice for the trouble," he adds.) How... kind (?) of him, right?
He's the kind of friend you have to practically harass to convince him to get out and do something with you. Leona would rather snooze or hang out indoors reading or playing chess or logic games. Sometimes you have no choice but to bend to his whims because otherwise you're not seeing him at all. It's his way or the highway!
If he's in the mood, he'll play a little rough. Leona's not exactly super affectionate (like, he's not going to hug you), but he'll occasionally ruffle your hair or get you in a headlook and noogie you. It's his way of greeting you or saying, "job well done".
A lot of your conversations with Leona are essentially extended exchanging of quips. He’s still every bit as sarcastic and snarky as he is with his enemies, perhaps even moreso with you. It’s not done out of animosity, but rather because Leona wants to keep you on your toes. After all, he let you into his pack—so you can keep up with him, can’t you?
In spite of how lackadaisical he may appear, Leona's the first person you know you can go to if you ever need help. A school assignment, physical training, life advice, whatever. He has this way of saying what you need to hear (even if it isn’t pleasant; he's a realist, not an optimist, and he's not going to sugarcoat it for you) and kicks your ass into high gear.
Definitely the “mom friend”, though out of habit and not because he wants to or actively tries to be. The kind of guy to fuss over whether you’re eating enough or sleeping at an appropriate time.
He often looks frazzled when you greet him in the halls or hang out after classes (which he so rarely does anyway because he’s usually for his hands full and with some Kalim-related task). Jamil vents to you later about what he has to put up with. You’ve never heard him use such colorful language and creative phrases outside of these vents. (He makes you swear to secrecy.)
On hangouts, Jamil comes overprepared. Even if it’s not raining, he brings an umbrella. Even if it’s not sunny, he brings sunscreen and bug spray. In fact, Jamil always shows up with this massive bag of what he calls “essentials”. First aid kit, water bottles, hand sanitizer, hand cream, portable battery, snacks, lip balm, sewing kit, travel toiletries, pens, spare eating utensils, a flashlight, a multitool, sunglasses, a notebook, a mirror, tissues—
His homemade lunches look so good; you tend to stare with quiet longing until Jamil sighs and asks if you would care for some. He acts like it’s a slight inconvenience to him (to salvage his pride and to come off as humble), but really he’s fishing for an excuse to share his food and get a compliment from you. In exchange for feeding you, you feed his ego.
Jamil insists he doesn’t need you to come to his basketball games, he can play just fine without you there. Well, that doesn’t stop you from showing up with a homemade poster to wave around and shouting his name. He acts embarrassed about it and scolds you afterwards, but he’s secretly pleased to have your support.
Ortho's the friend you feel the instinctive need to protect (on account of his small, boyish stature)--but don't be fooled! It's him who's jumping to shoot a laser beam at people who pick on you and you having to hold him back from firing.
He's cute and he knows it. Whenever he wants to get his way (like, say he wants to pick what you do today), he'll put his acting chops to use and pretend to get all sad or claim that you're bullying some innocent little kid to win the disagreement.
You play a lot of video games and board games together but you can never quite win most of the time. Ortho's advanced learning algorithms allow him to learn your playstyles and adapt on the fly, leading to him cinching victory after victory. He takes it easy on you once in a while though, just because it wouldn't be fun to go entirely unbeaten! More recently, you've been really into this racing game called Sugar Rush--and Ortho likes to play dirty and targets you with all the traps he can get his hands on.
You have movie nights too! Sometimes it's mainstream productions but sometimes Ortho shows you sneak peeks of the Film Research Club's latest projects (where he stars). He doesn't eat or drink, so you can monopolize all the snacks and chill as Ortho gets the film rolling... from himself! He has a built-in projector which makes it possible to watch movies on any wall.
Being besties with a supercomputer has its perks. Ortho can fact check you on the spot and provide any and all information you might be looking for in the blink of an eye.
Sebek is one of those friends who speaks callously even to his own friends. He does this with Silver, and he does this with you as well. Every nice thing he says is phrased like an insult (not necessarily aimed at you; it’s usually condescending others when comparing them to you), and it takes some time getting used to his… unique way of communicating.
Big golden retriever energy. He gets so excited when he sees you and practically charges over to give a greeting in the mornings. Same goes for him catching you in the halls--he'll shout from the other end and wave excitedly.
He's in the habit of making book recommendations to you, even if you're not a reader. Each book is selected with the utmost consideration for your interests and reading level; Sebek has oftentimes already gone to the trouble of reading these books and now is waiting on you to give them a shot so the two of you and talk over it and share your thoughts.
He strives for self-improvement and encourages you to do the very same. Sometimes he invites you to join him and Silver for a workout, but if that's too much for you then he can recommend some simple weight-lifting, stretches, or a brief jog.
If you're feeling down, he'll give you a thunderous pep talk that'll get you right back up on your feet! It's like being hit with a jolt of lightning--you're revitalized and ready to tackle the world again.
#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#disney twst#Leona Kingscholar#Jamil Viper#Ortho Shroud#Deuce Spade#Sebek Zigvolt#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland headcanons#Reader#self insert#curiouser and curious
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MERCS AND ANGER
scout: explosive like a firecracker. kinda boring from a distance but a danger in your hands. you really don’t want to be the guy he’s mad at, and probably not like a good friend of the guy either. otherwise the absolute grudge is really funny because he’s so creatively aggressive with how he insults people. and he doesn’t let shit go. it takes him a good long while before he’s ready to drop a feud. however, firecrackers, if you’re fast enough and ballsy enough, can be put out. you’ve maybe got a minute to take back what you say and all will be just fine. he might be annoyed with you for a couple of days, but you can bounce back.
soldier: explosive like a rocket. don’t give him an insult he has to think about. he’s gonna get madder that he had to think about it and he’s gonna come and kick your ass until he’s bored. and he will never get bored. has tried in incremental amounts to not get that mad anymore; nobody has a good time when he’s that mad. also a big shit talker, but the better term is “war decree”, because getting him angry is declaring war on him. and he is very frank with what the plan is when it comes to the attack. can, has tried, and actually has on two occasions involved the team in revenge plans. i don’t know how to quickly disable a rocket; so i would hope you do.
pyro: pyro will take their anger out on the battlefield. that’s when pyro gets weird and nobody wants to be around them at the base because they’re being weird on the battlefield. but at the base they don’t act any different. because normally the team does not anger pyro. sometimes pyro wakes up and is fueled with rage. at anything. at everything. sometimes they get so mad at themselves, and they don’t know why they get so mad. they’re just being themselves, as they were yesterday, and the day before, and the month prior. their imagination can buffer that with making the enemy team seem… squishier. fun to throw around because they just return back to their shape. they enjoy that. that’s really fun.
heavy: here’s the thing; heavy is a good and not messy guy, so heavy will make all efforts to discuss any problem he has with anyone, and does expect vice versa. if you’ve got a problem with him, his door and ears are open. he’s willing to talk about it. however, do not mistake that for weakness. i mean, come on. literally look at him. do you want to push him there if he’s willing to discuss it? really?
demo: demo will give you one (1) opportunity to course correct. after that you’re on his shit list. he’s got a physical list, a couple of pages, front to back, of peoples full government names, a glued on ID picture, and their most current address. not enough names on the list for a journal yet but he’s always willing to add. and getting on his shit list is permanent. you are not to speak to him. you are not to be within his eyesight. and if you are, there’s a problem. and you’ll get one (1) opportunity to course correct before it gets physical.
engineer: engie doesn’t get messy with his anger unless you take it there. and if you take it there, buddy that’s a game he loves to play. already has issues with people being in his space, so frankly if he’s mad at you, or getting to be upset with you, he will tell you, point blank “get somewhere away from me. immediately. don’t let me see you again today.” and within 24 hours he will be okay and ready to talk to you, and you can attempt to patch things up. but if you keep bugging him and keep bugging him and keep bugging him… he will absolutely have a conniption. he will yell. he will get in your face. however, that has nothing on his grudges. talk about a stew. he will sit on it. sit on it for days. process it while tinkering with his machines. and if he decides that what you did truly wasn’t forgivable? there is no one who can warn you about the storm coming your way. he makes your life miserable and you will never see him do it. first of all, anything you own with a wire is getting cut. batteries stolen, sockets with broken off fork teeth in them. he does not care if your whole house goes up in flames. he simply does not. so don’t ask. but also, he’ll disable your garage. he’ll put bleach in your engine. he’ll funnel your muffler into your AC if he felt justified in it. and you don’t know; nobody knows how he’s accomplishing it. and he won’t tell.
medic: medic, like pyro, takes his aggression out on the battlefield. except the doctor is worse because he’s just in general one to express his anger explosively. like you can’t miss the way his face will contort at you when you’ve pissed him off. petty things will earn a sorry soul the privilege to be a free fill of the doctor’s quota. he’ll go out of his way to find someone on a map so he can hack them to pieces. but when he’s just… angry, just wakes up angry; angry at himself because he knows if he wanted to he could change; he could have changed, he just didn’t want to, still doesn’t want to. some people call that regret. but he just gets mad. he pockets pyro those days. he pockets pyro when pyro is angry too. it’s always been a good time for him. he’ll feed into their delusions; yelling in their ear “don’t they look soft? don’t they look like they could stand some force?” and pyro gets so excited for it. they will rack up body after body after body, and normally they both would laugh. they would cackle. they would taunt their corpses. but pyro is the only one laughing. medic stands there and watches. and they go to the next one. and the next one. and the next one. and medic doesn’t laugh. but he’ll assure pyro he’s having fun. he’s having the time of his life.
sniper: sniper doesn’t really get mad. he gets annoyed, he gets irritated, and he talks mad shit about whoever he’s annoyed or irritated with; but he doesn’t ever get mad. because when he does he’s ready to fight and he does not care who is in the way. there’s no other way of putting it, he’ll beat the brakes off you and lord help whoever’s trying to hold him back because they will not be treated kindly either. so he has worked very hard to not make anger an immediate emotion.
spy: spy also does not get mad, because any situation he could possibly get mad at was a situation he didn’t predict and account for. and that’s on nobody else but him. spy does not normally get above extreme irritation before it becomes divinely gifted vitriolic annoyance. which he voices. loudly. to anyone that will listen. it is his sermon; you are a son of a bitch and should never be trusted again. and he spreads rumors like a motherfucker. and everyone spreads them?? it genuinely makes no sense when his teammates know this man is a liar. these men are just messy, because there’s really no way they could actually believe that scout’s hair was a well done toupee. THEY LIVE WITH SCOUT. THEY LIVE WITH SPY. THEY SEE WHAT THESE MEN DO EVERYDAY. they’re just messy and love gossip because there’s nobody else to talk to except for their scheduled monthly off day, which they normally get called in for anyway!
#team fortress 2#team fortress two#tf2 demo#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#tf2 heavy#tf2 medic#tf2 pyro#tf2 scout#tf2 sniper#these men are just messy there’s no two ways about it#tf2 soldier#tf2 spy
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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a few months ago you talked about playing mouthwashing and I was curious if you had any head-cannons for the characters if they got sent to that universe
pls tell ren he's adorable and he owes me 19 dollars
⌞♥⌝ They would be friends I think :3
#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#💖 — about leon.#💖 — about jae-hyun.#🖤 — gallery.#hellowmellowbear#Sorry it's an old ass sketch..... I don't have time to draw anythin right now ;n;#But also... It's Leon's birthday on da 30th!!!!!#Happy birf to THE childhood friend ever <3 (he doesn't age lmao)#I wonder what it's like being god's favourite prince and the most interesting boy in the world /ref#Anyways!! Here's the LeoDaiJae trio because I genuinely do believe they'd get along gjhsjhsd#Aloha shirts and Silly Jester Vibes <3#Also ignore the lack of details for Daisuke ^^; I drew this when there were only 3 in-game screenshots of him available kfgfkdg#Maybe one day I'll come back to this n finish it#Edit: ALSO GKJSDGDKG?? I'M PRETTY SURE I ONLY TALKED ABOUT MOUTHWASHING IN DA TAGS OF ONE OF MY POSTS?????#How are y'all remembering/seeing these things....... T_T /pos
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i don’t remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. i’m discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear there’s a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big “illario is being influenced and doesn’t even know” reveal— same as you anon like great minds am i right— but i’m not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by “oh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magic”
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so i’m not too fussed abt these details lol🤔
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spite’s wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure they’re burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterina’s kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesn’t even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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i treated myself to some headphones for my ps5 and i'm VERY excited for them to arrive :3
#rox rambles#i feel bad bc i game at all hours#and im pretty sure my upstairs neighbour's bedroom is right above my living room#so i ordered headphones#also maybe one day i will have friends to game with and they will come in handy then too :3
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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astarion really exemplifies every issue with modern fandom. in the game, he is an interesting character with a complicated relationship with sex that is deeply tied to his backstory and not often seen in video game romance options, imo. and then on a metatextual level, because of the way he's a white twink, he is given a million times more content than everyone else in the game, which is frustrating at best. and of course because he's a white twink the fandom is absolutely insane and oversexualizing, when a major point of his romance arc is not wanting to have sex with you even though he's attracted to you because of how he's been treated in the past-- and fans are doing the exact same thing, treating him like an object-- so thats literally how people who don't know the game see him-- UGH.
#like hes kind of an object hes a video game character not to take things too seriously whatever but likeeeeeee#i take video games too seriously and i say stop it and fuck off and die maybe#on one hand i like him a lot as a character but its also hard when it clearly comes at the cost of characters like wyll who obviously have#the shorter stick. and like look wyll is very sweet. i dont love romancing him. i love toxic yaoi. buut none of the romances are that toxic#icluding astarion and like its just hard to fully immerse myself in astarion when you know that wyll is shafted because of him#and whatnot. ughhhhh#and also if platonic interactions were given like. the same weight as romantic ones in rpgs like this... which if IM sayong that ...#(number one person to say they should fuck nasty and never be friends) u know its serious.... like its all just racism when it comes down#to it. at the end of the day.
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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Did that fav pkmn thing on a whim and I'm sorry for all my babies I didn't choose bc I really like too many by some.
Love how it's mostly pretty ones and then there's clodsire. Even tho I got it in my team since the beginning of violet do I continuously forget its name bc I just call it by the nickname blobby (one of the rare times I didn't spend hours googling the perfect nickname but it nonetheless is a perfect one)
And for fun without any legendaries as fav
Reg nicknames I even write all down so I only spend decades once for each pkmn (unless I don't like the prev one anymore). Need to update that someday since it's mostly old revolution ones but hey. Blaze do I use for arcanine nowadays more and ninetails got others. Gardevoir got soteria nowadays which I prefer more. Etc.
#a wild lux appears#(made this in december but for whatev reason left it in drafts until now. prob bc I wanted to limit non important posting idk)#Maybe you think garchomp is there bc of other reasons but I use it since dpp bc cynthia made kid me go 'woah!'#I remember having looked up as a kid to cynthia and juniper a lot and that fact n reason behind it makes me also go yeah no I was a girl wh#one day decided to be happier otherwise. Bc the reason was 'oh wow female and cool so I can indeed be that :0' most importantly with junipe#bc I never cared for battles. ye ye ignore fictional professions I was like 8. reason I loath alola tbh I missed doing non battle side stuf#I vividly remember picking my first pkmn game up (hg) and just immediately going fuck being a trainer let me be a prof and it's so funny ho#my horrendous sieve brain has that laser ingrained. Sometimes still brainstorm and I would prob study ghost pkmn tbh who by sheer luck isn'#dead yet. That and maybe being v charismatic to that type idk. Why bc I like those lil fellas.#What I also find extremely funny is having went by sonia prior to swordshield and there being a prof sonia. Wish I still went by it when it#dropped. Imagine. Kid sonia wanting to be a prof and meeting swsh sonia being on her way to be one. I either would've made her my#personality (which I think I nonetheless did I think I changed my icons to her) or would've wildly shaking her going 'it should have been#meeee'. which ig I mentally do by every rival or friend group person that takes that route like take me w you I hate battles please. Insane#that only blueberry academy me start to hate em slightly less. After over a decade of battles. Ig alpharad's n others streams w nuzlockes n#all started to also show me the appeal of actually strategizing instead of brute forcing which I did.#*that only blueberry academy MADE me#Whatev. Also no I don't got anything else that another pkmn would kickstart talking abt. Just know I drag my 2013 xerneas everywhere w me#and it is a fucking crime that I can't throw it into violet. What is this. You clearly don't mind throwing others into regions they don't#belong to at all (which I personally really dislike hc lore wise but gameplay wise whatever let new trainers catch old legendaries)#To come back to fav pkmn yes I'm in the dragonair boat. I hate evolving mine. Dragonite is fine I like it standalone but I like the#aesthetic of dragonair more. Idfc abt logic or whatever this is aesthetic talk. Yes I prefer some fan evos more.#I keep wanting to play that fusion fangame and if you want to know what pkmn I like I found out I have a huge overlap w alpharad there#Which sucks for us both! We adore pkmn that get lewded the most and I hate my life. You do you idc some are humanoid I have to admit that#but I personally would prefer to not see any art or even just jokes abt ANY of that. Humanoid or not I Do Not See.#I don't block let alone report over that just. tag and don't bring that to my doorstep thx.#What I will at most block n judge is if you touch any of the kids idc in this franchise if they're just pixels.#Can you tell I am writing this close to midnight anyways this is all. This became like a completely dif post in the tags welp
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